whateverfatimasays

[whateverfatimasays]

At this point, my body is like a reality show, always coming up with new drama to keep me entertained. A heart stroke, a silent panic attack and now my left side is auditioning for Best Supporting Pain?

The Oscars are next.

[whateverfatimasays]

“Followers don’t matter,” they say, confidently dropping ‘quality content’ into the void, where it’s lovingly appreciated by their one loyal fan—probably their own backup accounts. It’s amazing how quickly “I’m above it all” becomes the motto when “I can’t get it” was the reality all along😭💣

[whateverfatimasays]

That girl who thinks she’s ‘so unique’ but her whole personality is just her boyfriend.

When she says, ‘I’m just so independent,’ but can’t decide what to post on Instagram and what to order at a restaurant without asking him first or ‘I don’t need anyone to define me,’ but her IG is literally just his initials.

Honestly, girl, just start a fan page already. At least own it.

[whateverfatimasays]

Good morning to everyone who wakes up tired, drinks coffee to stay awake and spends the day wondering why life just feels like one long, unskippable ad break. May your productivity today be as strong as your desire to nap forever.

[whateverfatimasays]

Big thanks to my father for always being my biggest fan! To those who don't get their father's support and try to drag me down, I totally understand. Maybe if your dads had given you more hugs, you wouldn't be so desperate for my attention!

[whateverfatimasays]

The suspense! the people who thinks their grand act of ignoring me will send my world into a tailspin, congratulations for being in the delulu lately. It's adorable that you believe your silence holds such power. I have Netflix, snacks and a comfy blanket to keep me entertained. But sure, let’s pretend your absence is the plot twist of my life's drama💀

[whateverfatimasays]

Having a male bestie is like having a second mom, if your mom gave terrible advice and stole your food.

[whateverfatimasays]

Ah, female best friendships where "Tell me the truth" means "Lie to me, but make it convincing."

[whateverfatimasays]

Born to be a billionaire but forced to check my bank account before buying a coffee☕️💰

[whateverfatimasays]

something that I created by blending my thoughts onto apps.

[whateverfatimasays]

It's impressive how you put so much effort into pretending to be successful. It's almost as if delusion is your only real talent😮‍💨

[whateverfatimasays]

I see you’ve reunited with your ex and those friends you used to curse. It’s great you’ve finally found people who can tolerate your charm for more than five minutes, casanova!! 😮‍💨

[whateverfatimasays]

Oh! lil girlie, you’re trying to start something? That's cute. Do you also challenge toddlers to races to boost your self-esteem? 🤡

[whateverfatimasays]

Born to relax on a beach, but forced to attend endless Zoom meetings.

[whateverfatimasays]

Mahmoud Darwish once wrote:

“Do not be absent for too long, then come and ask about how I am. Details die with time and stories change”

But, sir Jaun Elia said,

“Aap ab poochne ko aye hain, Dil meri jaan mar gya kab ka”

[whateverfatimasays]

because i always click “I am not a robot” while contemplating the existential crisis of whether my job really defines my humanity.

[whateverfatimasays]

In a love-hate relationship, every argument is just a step closer to the next kiss.