#sarcastic
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#amor#cosas de la vida#escritos#letras#noches#sentimientos#verdades#notas de dolor#llorar#despedida#sarcasmo#sarcastic
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#you are magic#dickhead#quotes#thoughts#sarcastic#sarcasm#witchy#witchcraft#witchblr#witches#witchcore#witches of tumblr#witchy vibes#life quotes
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Stiles: "You smell like leather, aggression, and bad decisions."
Derek: "And you smell like sugar, anxiety, and the need to shut up."
Stiles: "Wow, that’s poetic. Put that in my eulogy after you inevitably get me killed."
Derek: "Gladly."
#stiles stilinski#derek hale#teen wolf#leather#cuteness aggression#bad decisions#shut up#sarcastic#incorrect quotes#teen wolf quotes#stiles x derek#derek x stiles#incorrect teen wolf quotes
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michi naranja
#pensamientos#sentimientos#noche#desamor#escritos#texto en imagen#imagenes#indirectas#sarcasm#sarcastic#sarcasmo#enojo#memes#mandy#roto
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Yo viendo que un usuario de Tumblr escribió todo lo que sentí...

#frases#cosas#tumblr#citas#un chico que mira las estrellas#notas#textos#escritos#frase#letras#escrito#español#cosas que pasan#sarcastic#joke
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bruce wayne x reader
[ admiring the cityscape by being fucked against it ]
MDNI !!! (·•᷄ࡇ•᷅ ) .ᐟ.ᐟ 18 + [3k word count]
*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
you stepped off the private elevator with a sly smile curving your lips. heels clicked sharply against the marble floor, announcing your arrival like a carefully rehearsed overture. you weren’t supposed to be here—not technically. but rules had never really applied to you when it came to bruce.— especially when he’d been ignoring your texts for the past two days.
you pushed the glass door open with your hip, arms full with a pastry box from his favorite café—an unsubtle bribe wrapped in flaky sweetness and the scent of cinnamon. he was behind his desk, hands buried in his hair, suit jacket abandoned and sleeves rolled up to the elbows. his tie was askew. unforgivable.“oh good,” you said, voice syrupy and casual as you set the box on his desk without asking. “you’re not dead. I was starting to wonder if I needed to file a missing persons report or just assume you’d run off with your secretary.” he didn’t look up immediately. when he did, there was a flicker of something dark in his eyes—stress, tension, something deeper. His jaw was tight. “I’ve been in meetings. back to back.” he was starting to feel exhausted. keeping up with his alternating lifestyle was catching up to him and starting to become extremely stressful.
you raised a brow, sliding into the chair across from him. “meetings? with who? the devil? ” — “no. just a few different investors.” his voice was flat. controlled. too controlled. “they might be worse.” — you leaned back, crossing your legs. your skirt tugged higher, just a little. “mmm. so you are in a bad mood. lucky me.” — he exhaled through his nose, slow, deliberate. his eyes dropped to her legs. stayed there. something shifted. subtle. dangerous.
“what are you really doing here?” — your smile returned, smug and sweet. “I missed you.” silence stretched between them. a slow pulse of heat started to build in the air, like a storm warning. bruce stood, not rushed—measured, predatory. walked around the desk until he stood in front of you, looming.“you missed me.” he stated. you blinked up at him, all innocence. “mmhm.” his gaze swept over you, slow and assessing. his hand came to rest on the arm of your chair, the other at your chin, tilting it up.“you picked the worst possible time to come here.” — “or the best possible time.”
bruce’s mouth twitched—just barely. that was all the warning you got before he hauled you up from the chair in one fluid motion, spinning you around and pressing you up against the cold glass window behind them. your palms met the glass with a soft gasp. “you want to tease me?” he murmured against your ear, voice low and gravel rough. “let’s see how well you take it when the whole city gets a front-row seat.”
your breath fogged against the glass as you instinctively braced herself, fingers splayed wide on the cool surface. the city stretched out endlessly in front of you, glittering and unknowing, and yet in this moment it felt like every window pointed right at them. bruce’s hands were already at your waist, not hurried—measured, calculating. his fingers slipped beneath the hem of your blouse, warm and possessive against your skin.“you wore this on purpose,” he muttered, voice dark with amusement as he tugged the blouse from your skirt. “tiny little buttons. just asking to be torn off.” you smirked over your shoulder, your tone honeyed and mocking. “i didn’t know you were going to be so—moody.” he made a low sound in his throat, somewhere between a laugh and a growl. “moody?”
and then the first button popped. not torn—no, bruce wasn’t giving you the satisfaction of losing control. he undid them one by one, slowly, with maddening precision. each tug of fabric revealed more skin to the sunlit office air: your collarbone, the edge of your bra, the soft curve of your stomach. “you’re lucky you came at the time you did, if you would’ve came in earlier i would have put you on speakerphone during my board meetings,” he said, dragging the blouse down her shoulders, letting it fall around her elbows, a deliberate bind. “letting them all hear how bratty you get when I ignore you for two days.” your breath hitched, eyes fluttering shut. “you’d be fired.”— “I own the company,” he reminded you coolly, sliding your bra strap down with two fingers. “and right now, I own you.”
his hand cupped your breast from behind, thumb teasing over your already-peaked nipple from being against the cold glass — while his other hand slid down your stomach to the waistband of your skirt. squirming, you exclaimed “someone could see—”“that’s the point.” making you shiver at the flat certainty in his tone.
your skirt came off in one fluid motion, pooling at your feet. bruce stepped closer behind you, his body heat wrapping around you like a smoldering blanket. the evidence of his arousal pressed hard against the back of your thigh, and still, he didn’t rush. his palm coasted over the swell of your ass. a sharp smack followed—just enough to make you gasp. “keep your hands on the glass,” he murmured. “I want you to feel how high up we are. want you to feel every inch of what I’m going to do to you… and know there’s not a damn thing anyone out there can do about it.”you whimpered, fingers pressing harder against the window, as if that would ground you.
“that’s better,” bruce said. he leaned in, breath hot on your neck. “i’m going to take my time with you. and you’re going to thank me when I’m done.” he dragged his fingers down between your thighs, just barely brushing where you needed him most, drawing out a quiet, desperate sound from your lips.“that’s right,” he whispered. “let me take my stress out on you.”
slowly plunging his thick fingers inside, just barely enough to have your gummy walls suck him in fully. your body was trembling now, legs pressed together instinctively as your thighs clenched around his hand, but he wasn’t letting up—not now. his fingers moved faster, deeper, ruthlessly precise. there was no hesitation in him. “please.. bruce.. please.. oh my.. shit mmhm nuhhg” you practically prayed to yourself, mumbling against the glass. every thrust of his hand had intent. purpose, to break you down. the wet sounds between you two echoed obscenely off the glass and polished floors, mixing with the quiet, strangled gasps you could no longer control. your forehead pressed harder against the window, while your smushed tits bounced against the glass — the city still spinning below you, but your focus was gone—blown to pieces by bruce behind, who knew exactly how to wreak you. bruce’s voice was low, almost amused, close to your ear. “you’re trying so hard to be quiet.”
his free hand slid up your spine, fingers tangling in your hair, gripping it just enough to tilt your head back. “I want you loud,” he growled. “let them all know who’s making you feel this good. let them hear what you sound like when you fall apart for me.” hoping you’d scream loud enough for the city of gotham to hear you.
the orgasm hit like a wave crashing against the rocks—violent, hot, overwhelming. your vision went white as your body pulsed around his fingers, a cry ripped from your throat without apology. you came hard, “nugg..fuck..fuc..fuck br..bruce..bruce...bru-nughh.”! head pressed against the glass, breath fogging the city skyline as your body shuddered through the aftershocks. bruce didn’t move right away. he kept his hand inside you, coaxing every last tremor out, until you were limp in his grip. then, slowly, he slid his fingers out and brought them to his mouth, bruce watching you with a dark, satisfied smirk from reflection in the glass. “quite the stress relief,” he murmured, licking the taste of you from his skin. “exactly what I needed.” he said as you sagged against the glass, breath still coming in uneven waves, skin flushed and dewy from the intensity of release. your legs felt barely functional, but bruce didn’t let you fall. his hands, still firm on your hips, keeping you exactly where he wanted you.
“i’m not done with you,” he said simply, voice quiet but edged in steel. you managed a small, dazed sound in response—something between a laugh and a whimper. “you’re insatiable.” bruce leaned in, his bare chest pressing to her back, warm and solid. his lips brushed the shell of your ear as he replied, “no. just possessive.” and then she felt him—his length, hard and heavy, sliding against the back of your thigh. he wasn’t teasing now. no slow burn. no warm-up. he was past the edge of patience, and you’d lit the fuse. you gasped as he spread your legs slightly with his knee, your body still tender, hypersensitive.
“you can take it,” Bruce murmured, one hand moving to align himself, the other wrapped tight around your waist. “you’re mine. you’re made for this.” the first push of him inside made you cry out, “b..bruce.. mm..fuck..sobig...” forehead pressing harder to the glass making you grit your teeth from the pleasant pain. he filled you slowly at first—inch by agonizing inch—letting you feel just how stretched and wrecked you already were. your body trembled, muscles twitching, still quivering from the orgasm he’d just pulled from you minutes before. bruce didn’t give you much time to adjust. — once he was fully buried inside, he drew back only to slam into you again with a force that made the window rattle faintly in its frame. you let out a strangled moan, “jesus.shit.. bruce..mnmhh” your breath fogging the glass again as he began to move—steady, brutal thrusts that claimed every part of you.
your hands slipped on the window, but he caught your wrists, pinning them up and forward, holding you completely at his mercy. “you don’t come into my office..hmmn,” he growled with each thrust, “dressed like that, talking back, and think I’m not going to take you apart.” you whimpered, every thrust sending shockwaves through your already overwhelmed body. “let them watch,” Bruce said, hips snapping forward again. “let them see you come undone for me twice, against my glass, i hope we make the front of every news channel tonight, so everyone can see how well i fuck my girl.” your moans grew louder, your knees weak, toes barely keeping you up as he continued to pound into you. there was no space for thought—only sensation. heat. pressure. him. he was relentless. focused. using you with full intent, but behind the roughness, you could feel it—that thread of need. of something desperate buried under all that power. and he was close. you could feel it in the way his rhythm shifted, more ragged now. a growl rumbled low in his chest.
“Say it,” he demanded. “Who do you belong to?”
“You,” you gasped. “bruce..nnhg..i’m yours—” that broke something in him. with a final, hard thrust, he buried himself deep inside you, groaning against your neck as he came, his release hot and pulsing, the sound of his satisfaction thick and unfiltered. you both stayed like that for a long moment—both wrecked, panting, skin slick with heat and sweat, bodies pressed to the glass as the city kept moving far below.
“I needed that,” he murmured. even after they caught their breath, even as their bodies slowly stilled, he stayed pressed against her back, chest rising and falling with each heavy exhale. you were a mess—skin flushed, clothes tangled or half-gone, hands still braced against the window. you could barely stand. but he wasn’t done. without a word, bruce slid out of you, earning a soft, shaky gasp from you. your knees buckled, but his hands were already at your waist, spinning you around in one fluid motion. before you could find your balance, he lifted you effortlessly, your thighs wrapping around his waist by instinct, and carried you across the office. the desk was sleek, massive, and completely unforgiving. he dropped you onto it like a prize—scattered paperwork fluttering to the floor, pens rolling off the edge. His eyes were dark now, pupils blown wide, jaw clenched in restraint he wasn’t even pretending to hold anymore. and his cock covered in a both of your mixtures of cum, still hard and twitching In anticipation.
“you didn’t think I was finished, did you?” he said, voice rough and frayed. gaving him a breathless smile, eyes glassy. “didn’t expect you to still have the energy.” that earned you a sharp slap to your tit and a warning smirk. “careful.” he pushed you back flat against the cool desk surface, palms spreading your legs wide again. your body jolted with oversensitive shock when his fingers slid back between your thighs, finding you dripping with his cum, drenched and twitching. “still so ready for me,” he muttered, more to himself. “you can take more.” — you moaned softly, hips shifting as he teased you again—just a few strokes, just enough to feel how sensitive you were, how reactive.
but bruce didn’t waste time now. He lined himself up again, leaned over you, catching your wrists and pinning them above your head. the new position left you fully exposed—open, stretched out beneath him, nothing to hold onto but him. Then he pushed inside again. there was no warm-up this time. no slow tease. just heat and pressure and the blunt force of need. gasping, back arching as he filled you all at once, and then the pace began—fast, unforgiving, hips snapping against yours. with a sound that echoed sharply off the high walls of the office. the desk creaked beneath them, rhythm brutal. “you make me crazy,” bruce gritted out between thrusts. “walking in here like you own the place.” — your eyes rolled back as her body clenched around him, already too close, too raw. “nmuhhg.. mhm bruce..mnn”
“you like this,” he accused, voice low and dangerous. “getting ruined over and over until you forget your own name so you have to scream mine.” you couldn’t even deny it. couldn’t speak.
bruce leaned down, teeth grazing your throat, and growled, “come for me again. Do it. I want to feel you break all over me.” you shattered—loud, unrestrained. your whole body arched off the desk, mouth open in a cry as another orgasm tore through you unapologetically, more violent than the first. bruce swore under his breath, hands tightening on your wrists as your gummy walls clenched around him. he drove into you harder, deeper, chasing his own release—and when it hit, it was savage. his whole body tensed above yours, jaw locked as he spilled into her with a rough, broken groan. For a long moment, they didn’t move. just the sound of their breathing, the distant hum of the city beyond the windows, and the slow beat of hearts finally slowing.
bruce finally released her wrists, brushing his thumb gently over the red marks he’d left behind. “you’re staying for the rest of the day,” he said, voice low and final. you blinked up at him, lips parted, dazed. “i don’t think I can walk.” his smirk returned, that rare, wicked glint in his eyes. “exactly.”
the office was a wreck.
the desk was covered in scattered files and the ghost of fingernail marks. you laid draped across it like the embodiment of sweet destruction—hair tousled, skin glowing, lips swollen and parted in the aftershocks of bliss. bruce still hovered over you, hands braced on either side of her body, eyes locked on yours like you might disappear if he blinked. you finally broke the silence, your voice hoarse but unmistakably smug. “so… this is how you handle stress at work.” bruce exhaled a slow breath, lips twitching into a small smile. you gave a slow, wicked grin back and said “you’re lucky I don’t sue for workplace misconduct.” in a joking manner — that got a low laugh from him. he stepped back reluctantly, tugging you gently upright, arms winding around your waist. your legs dangled off the desk, too wobbly to stand yet, but you leaned into his chest, pressing a lazy kiss against his collarbone.
*.ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
thank u for reading!!! hope it was okay :3 !!
like & reblog 🌟 have a great day / night!!
#bruce wayne#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne smut#wayne enterprises#smut dc#smut#dc smut#bruce wayne x fem!reader#bruce wayne x y/n#bruce wayne x you#batman#batfam#office smut#older male#sarcastic#roughfuck#dc comics#dc batman#dc incorrect quotes#dc bruce wayne#i love dilfs#stamina#tumblr fyp#dc community#mdni#older is better#older man younger girl#older man <3#fictional men#dc fanfic
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Merlin: *looking in horror at the mess in front of him* I thought we agreed you wouldn't go to the tavern last night
Gwaine: Yeah but you underestimate my ability to make bad decisions without alcohol
#incorrect merlin quotes#incorrect quotes#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#merlin#gwaine#sir gwaine#mergwaine#merwaine#merlin x gwaine#broship#bromance#platonic#or not#romance#romantic#shipps#shipping#reccs#ao3#merthur#fluff#sarcastic#sarcasm#ask#trash post#shitty post#txt.mine#txt post#fandom
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and a few black holes . . . and . . .
#sarcasm#sarcastic#humor#dark humor#funny content#ha ha funny#funny memes#funny#funny stuff#funny shit#funny post#lol#memes#haha
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life indeed is a movie
#us politics#donald trump#lol#memes#funny#meme#relatable#tumblr memes#dankest memes#hogwarts#haha#funny pics#dank memes#dank#relatable memes#dank meme#humour#dark humour tw#dark memes#hilarious#lmao#awesome#sed life#sarcastic#sarcasm#tweet#tweets#twitter#fresh memes#tumblr
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#amor#cosas de la vida#escritos#letras#noches#sentimientos#verdades#notas de dolor#llorar#despedida#meme humor#memes#memes image#memesdaily#dank memes#lol memes#best memes#tumblr memes#sarcastic#soltera#soltero#solteiro#solteira
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#desiblr#desi tumblr#desi teen#desi shit posting#desi tag#hindublr#desi#desi core#sam shitposting again#india pakistan#india pakistan conflict#india pakistan tension#india pakistan war#india pakistan relations#india pakistan news#operation sindoor#pahalgam attack#donald trump#Dolund trump#fuck trump#modi#India#america#sarcasm#sarcastic
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Mi vida siempre fue una comedia.
Ig: sofibal22
#memes#lol#meme#memes en tumblr#funny#funny memes#joda#sarcasmo#sarcasm#sarcastic#humor#haha#jokes#dark memes#comedia#comedy#dark comedy#teletubbies#90s#vintage#vintage photography#argentina#buenos aires#artists on tumblr#quotes#twitter#art#memes en español#momos#miedo
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The 118's reactions to Monty the beekeeper:
Eddie
Gerrard
Buck


Sir, you're at work.
#evan buckley#I mean that's totally his type#cool as a cucumber#full of nerdy obscure knowledge#work with cool tools#sarcastic#bucktommy#911 spoilers#911 abc
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Things to say if someone you know finds your whump blog
(mean family vibes)
No, it's not a kink
You weren't supposed to see that
I have 10 followers so you are outvoted unfortunately
Why are you offended? I didn't use your real name
I thought you said you liked tragedy
Am I making you uncomfortable yet? There's more where that came from
I'm sorry
I hate to break it to you but my writing is nothing in comparison to what you will find in real life
Well, I suppose it's time you heard about my childhood trauma
It's a neurodivergent thing, you wouldn't understand
You learn to appreciate the darkness after years in hell
And you call my generation snowflakes
This is America bitch
Which part was your favorite
#whump blog#whump hate#my family would disapprove#i came from a cult#so...#whump writing#whumpblr#whump community#whump readers#sarcastic
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Veronica Mars, 2004 - 2007
#Veronica Mars#Veronica Mars Season1#Duane Daniels#jason dohring#logan echolls#vice principal clemmons#sarcastic#anthropomorphic#mr echolls#smart ass#tenor#gif#2000s#2004#2005#2006#2007
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