wispwhirr - Tumblr blog

[wispwhirr]

I am a bad poet and a bad lover, you know by now.

My fear consumes me entirely.

Wants and needs are out of reach, it's all reclusive.

I want to create something grand and great,

But maybe after all, I am nothing but a bad lover and a bad poet.

Obsessed you may say.

“You are perfect”

To you I may be, maybe I am one of my own.

But to my foolish self, I am just an afraid girl who's scared of her own thoughts.

My hands tremble and my mind wanders, far away from here.

I’m so scared to love.

“You ruin everything you touch”, I don't want to ruin you.

[wispwhirr]

I stopped dreaming when I met you; my dreams became reality.

Tender touch, oh I am so loved.

You and I are one of a kind, two halves put together.

A missing puzzle piece, finally found and in place.

Gentle kiss, oh I am so loved.

Are your lips as soft as they seem?

I have to know, by now I should.

Pull me in closer, as tight as you can.

I need to hear your heartbeat.

My brain wavers and wonders, your heartbeat fills my deluded ears.

Forever favorite, oh I am so loved.

A favorite of all, but you are forever mine.

Kiss, touch, laid and sprawled out in front of me.

We could, you know.

[wispwhirr]

I shuffle a little.

I turn out the lights.

I climb into my bed and sprawl my duvet cover over my face.

And I think to myself, “I could stay here forever”.

And i'm right, because if I didn’t have people to look out after,

If I wasn’t worried about how they may perceive me,

I would.

Sleeping is the closest you are to death, and it’s comforting.

I’ll sleep for as long as I can as long as it means I can see you.

You appear in my dreams ever so often.

I’ll dream of you and I know I’m dreaming, because you aren’t here.

I'll dream and dream and I won’t wake up, so you can stay a little while longer.

Is this the sign I’ve been asking for all my life?

A sign that maybe you are still somewhere out there, silently living.

I miss you.

Sleeping is the closest to death, and the closest I will ever be to you.

[wispwhirr]

you know me so well, so tell me, who am I?

if you know me so well, what should I do?

walking down the sidewalk, kicking the same rock over and over again, its sound filling my ears.

our hands interlinked, together, what are we?

i'm happy of course, but deep down we both know more than.

I can't talk to you anymore.

i don't know what happened, but I'm done talking.

the energy has flown through and out of me.

[wispwhirr]

Uncomfortably comfortable

This bed sinks into me, it engulfs me

I’m frozen solid, I can’t move

I have to pee, I’m hungry,

But I can’t gather the energy to move.

The fan hums a far too familiar tune,

The TV drowns out my thoughts.

This room is far too dark, I can’t see.

All I can see is your face stained into my mind.

My senses are dulled and I can’t think of anything but you.

Oh, how I’d wish to tell you everything.

But who would I be?

Down to the done, I am.

[wispwhirr]

We are nothing but a half of everything we can be.

We are nothing but the cosmos in the sky.

At this time, I am everything I wish I wasn’t.

The lining of my sweater tugs at my neck. It's too hot.

I am nothing of what I wish I was, I am nothing the cosmos want.

My room is a reflection of my mind; cluttered, messy, too much.

In this world, the cosmos aren’t grateful for us.

But why should they be?

The cat at the end of my bed doesn’t love me, does she?

She must be grateful, to have a home, somewhere to live.

But is she all that happy?

Maybe I’m the cat at the end of my bed, not happy, but grateful.

I’m not making too much sense, but neither does anything in my brain.

My brain and I aren’t too alike, I am nothing of my brain.

Dramatic in a sense that cares, in a sense that cares maybe too much.

I am nothing and everything and nothing at all

I am grateful, but not happy.

And we are nothing but the cosmos in the sky.

[wispwhirr]

What am i without a book,

Without words,

Without paper?

What am I without you?

Who am i to be if i have nothing left

You know the answer to every story

I don’t need to repeat myself

[wispwhirr]

I’d pray to god but I know he isn’t listening.

If he had listened, I wouldn’t feel this way.

I’ve been praying to him since I was eight.

He hasn’t listened, not once.

My existence fades and blurs into a time

I cannot remember

God, please show me my way

I’m so lost here,

I can’t remember the way out.

[wispwhirr]

I can’t look into the mirror without crying

Never knew a soul could be this bitter.

I want your beauty,

I am selfish and jealous

I am ugly.

Ugly in a sense that I cannot explain,

Ugly in a sense I can only show.

I am ugly beneath this makeup and clothes

I am ugly underneath this facade.

You just haven’t seen it yet.

[wispwhirr]

There is a gravitational pull between me and the floor beneath me

I am drawn to my feet

I am pulled down, deeper, and deeper.

I feel gravity faltering at the edge of my bed,

A sinking hole I cannot encompass.

I am grounded to the floor

I am put down, like a dog

Tiredness sweeps over me, engulfing me entirely.

[wispwhirr]

Somehow i write more on this old table

Its memories flush my brain of negativity

This table, oh table,

Where me and my sister sat at when i was eleven,

We were waiting for my dad to finish up dinner

I was so tired i couldn’t lift my fork

My mom carried me to bed

And when i awoke,

I ate bread for dinner instead.

[wispwhirr]

Were just kids in love

Are we?

We must be more than that

There’s no way we aren’t more than “just kids”

There is more to our story

More than they'll even want to know

We aren’t a sad love song

We are a song that flourishes

A song that the birds sing in the early hours

Of dawn

We are the freshly planted grass

We are root bound, deep and intact.

[wispwhirr]

I could write so much about you,

But my brain cannot contain these letters

A alphabet foreign to my language

Your love is undeniably shuddering.

[wispwhirr]

My body is nothing with you in it

My brain is apart from my soul,

My soul is longing and desperate,

But my mind stays blank.

Forever a canvas of hearth

[wispwhirr]

To love you

Is to love with a knife in the back of my throat

Undistinguished 

Unclassified

But beautiful love

Silenced and unremarkable

I am one of my own

You are nothing of me