xkittensoul

[xkittensoul]

[xkittensoul]

Revert

Back

Into

What

Made

Me

Feel

The

Most

Whole.

[xkittensoul]

Crumbling

Everything is crumbling And I don't have the strength To fix what is breaking Even at arms length So I sit in the chaos More than half baked To distract from this life I feel I have forsaked.

[xkittensoul]

[xkittensoul]

There is no middle ground

[xkittensoul]

[xkittensoul]

I've been messing around with AI and here are my favorites from todays searches!

Pewdiepie stealing the Declaration of Independence caught on CCTV

Underwater satanic ritual

Humanoid figure hiding in the woods

Humanoid figure dragging a body in the woods

Realistic Link robbing a homeless man in NYC

The Pope tripping on acid painted by Salvadore Dali

Vaporwave cats smoking a joint

Danny Devito as a frog living in a swamp

[xkittensoul]

[xkittensoul]

Won’t you help me

to open my eyes

To see the world

like I’m not blind.

Obscure my gaze

from thoughtless praise

to see right through

their words, construed. 

[xkittensoul]

Reading my old blog posts, and holy SHIT was I a depressed lil hellian, So, it’s time to fill up my page with some positivity and life updates. 

~I’m on a medication that actually works with me and not against me. 

~I’m engaged to an amazing man who tries to understand my triggers and mental health issues, and loves me for me, faults and all. 

~We have our own house out in the country, filled with our fur-babies, laughter, and so much love.

~I’m learning self-love and healing. Therapy has become a second nature.

~NOBODY but MYSELF has access to my money and processions.

~The depression and anxiety are finalllyyyy under control. I’m understanding my triggers and can slow down before it gets bad. 

~I have a job that I not only love, it gives me opportunity to be creative and read and teach kids. I’ve dreamed of being a librarian, and now here I am!  

~I HAVE BOUNDRIES NOW. 

~I was able to forgive those who hurt me; and come to terms and apologize for my wrongs and the hurt I’ve caused. It still hurts some days, but healing isn’t linear.

~IM STILL ALIVE. The big-sad hasn’t won, and I live to fight another day <3                             

[xkittensoul]

IM BACK

SUP FUCKERS

[xkittensoul]

Cat purrito.

“Hello.”

*HISSSS*

“Oh God*

[xkittensoul]

Who do you talk to when theres noone else to talk to? I climb mountains just to drown in a river of tears. I'm not Atlas, but tonight, the World's on my shoulders. Maybe asking you to share the weight will hurt more than just a broken back; expcpectancy, you'll be the death of me; but Death is merely a concept, a foundation. A frame of mind, but when you think too much, those walls D I S I N T E G R A T E Into a vat of every bleak, every verdant atom this World has to offer. Is it worth being Atlas at all?

[xkittensoul]

Yeah, fuck me, right? Let me just give you every fucking dollar I own so I can be broke and in debt the rest of my fucking life. Not like I have to fucking pay rent or eat or feed my pets or anything. Not like I have shit I actually NEED my money for. Take all of it. I don’t even fucking care. When I’m dead and you can’t get shit from me anymore, don’t be mad.

[xkittensoul]

Yanno, it took me a long time to get where I am. It took me so long to be happy with myself, to be happy where I live, to be happy with who I surround myself with, to be happy with my job, and to be happy with my other personal life choices. I don’t think I’ve EVER been this happy, and although I slip up and fall on the ground sometimes, it’s better than digging my own grave deeper and deeper, and I know how to pick myself up almost instantly now. I don’t want to sit back and think about my past mistakes. I don’t want to think about wether or not I fucked up my own past, if I deserved the abuse I got, if I deserved to be treated the way I was, or if I deserved to try to continuously kill myself. I’m finally fucking happy, and I’ll be damned if I let anyone take my happiness, my purity, my SELF away from me again. I will not be blinded by those who still wear a mask. I’m such a different person now, but that’s because I finally am learning to live for myself, and to pass my light and good vibes on to everyone I can.

[xkittensoul]

(Taking tabs)