youre-walking-through-a-forest
youre-walking-through-a-forest
Real Sad Boi Hours
107 posts
feat: myself
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Repeating
The days keep repeating The nights not receding I now spend my time Drinking whisky and wine Hoping for a cure
Dust settles on my floor No longer opening the door To those who want a tour We are alone
Through screens we say “How was your day?” Knowing they won’t relay I guess we can pray?
Teens run amuck Hanging out the side of a truck “Why does this year suck?” Well a mask only costs a buck
I must admit I’m bed-locked After having my shit get rocked Limited only to a block I’ll stay inside and wait.
The same day repeats Barely on my feet I can no longer deny I kinda wanna die.
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Furious Love
I lay here and I ache
My heart bodyslamming against my ribs 
Right in the direction of who it wants
I’ve been here before
I’ve been here so many times before
And NEVER has she been right
My furious heart running full speed at those hurt me
Not that it knew, 
Fuck did it ever not know
And I was always the one to take the blows
She runs wild while my body takes the consequences
But God I hope you’re heart is doing the same
That a fiery pain emanates out of your chest when you think of me
Dreaming of our hands clasped, eyes locked
And gushing over the love we hid for so long
You know I’ve been thinking of our first dance?
Something dramatic, choreographed, but endlessly fun
Much like our relationship i suppose
I’m tired
I’m tired of taking blows for those who should be receiving them
I love you and I just want you to want me
Please dear god I want you to hold me
envelop me in your arms and tell me you wont leave
That I’m the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen
Because you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen
And I’m sick of pretending you arent
Friends opinions be damned I love you and you love me
Please just 
please
love me
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Tense Sunshine
Light streams through these tall windows
Mesh curtains tinting the shine green
Leaves on the maple waving at me
As if beckoning to lay beneath them and breath in all their hard work
The air inside lays sticky and still
Keeping me stuck to this family heirloom
The people here laying low and quiet in lieu of prolonged isolation
But the sun does want
She calls all our names and begs to tint our skin with her love
She travels thousands of miles across our skies
And sleeps to give us refuge
All to feed the creatures she loves so much
But we were selfish
Selfish and greedy to think her love was owed to us
Now we must wait in our glorified caves
Waiting for the fruits of our neglect to pass
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My Bed
I know you made it nice for me
Brought me pillows and asked which I wanted
You probably swept the floors and dusted the dressers
But I simply cannot sleep
I’m sitting in the living room
Right now
Thinking about how I won’t sleep
The movies and images that plague me won’t be stopped
My fears and worries won’t rest
Demons and Devils in the form of memories
Will keep me from that which I crave so much
I will weep
I will sigh
I will roll over and wish to die
But I will not sleep
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Wallpaper
A small chandelier hangs above this table
It’s amber light illuminating the scene before me
A plant sits on top of a puke-green tablecloth
Fine China gathering dust inside old wooden cabinets
Relics, trapped in time by those who can’t go back
The wall paper is peeling off the walls
The wallpaper is peeling off my consciousness
Put up so long ago, it no longer sticks
You try to roll that shit right back on
But it crumbles in your hands
You’ve lived here too long
The decor is simply out of date
Let me decorate the inside of my mind
For it is mine to populate with what I wish
And I don’t need to feel bad
For loving my own home
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Daylight Savings
It’s Sunday
The sun opens its crusted eyes
And gazes upon this cold city
Months of neglect has wasted the minds of its citizens
But she’s here now
Let her love fill those tired bones of yours
Smile :)
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Hey There!
Sorry, this isn’t a new piece... I just wanted to say hello to all my new followers! I honest to god never thought people would find this blog, and truthfully i kinda stopped and wasn’t planning on doing more. But I’m trying to do more creative things since i’ve been down in the dumps lately, and I was very surprised to see all the reblogs and messages when i logged back in today! so I’ll definitely be making some new pieces for you very soon :) I also recently made an instagram for all my creative stuff, so feel free to follow @meggilycammily to get more frequent updates
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stunted roots
An orchid sits on a windowsill
quietly it stares out over its domain
a small room, cluttered with pizza boxes and month-old laundry
the blank glare of the tv gives the room a blue glow
just enough to highlight it’s nest-like state
but she doesn’t care
she hasn’t cared for months, probably years
dormancy hasn’t been kind to her
petals long fallen and shrivelled up
decomposed into the soil that bred her
she looks like nothing more than a bundle of sticks a child loosely stuck in the ground
a land marker of many on some son’s journey
the only indicator of her species being a rotted label at her base
roots overtaking it like a dying witches fingers
long, spindly, and desperate
you see, the pot is too small
her once strong roots now wither 
clinging on to whatever is left in her old, piddly home
even those things she shouldn’t.
no amount of water can help her forget 
that she’s going to die if she stays
new pots present themselves
but each presents different growing challenges
and all just seem, 
uncomfortable
maybe if she just stays
locks onto one more morsel of dirt
her flowers will bloom again
relive her early growing days
but in the end
she simply does not care anymore
her stems could sit and rot in the sun all day
and feel she chose right
shes surrounded by the other plants
so why leave?
she just wants to sit
drink
and wait to die in her old, old soil
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Standstill
The world doesn’t care
It goes on endlessly, spinning-top Inception style
The leaves change colours
The Sun rises
The Sun sets
People fuck
People break up
And the cycle never ends
The best way to describe time is 
Monotonous
The same things happening over and over
Maybe a small improvement there, big disaster there
But overall, it’s a computer running a code for a large-scale game of Sims
And I am simply a line of code created by an intergalactic coder
I wish I could ask them things
Why am I so behind
Why am i doomed to be alone
Why am I here
Alas, I am doomed to watching my cigarette burn out
And squish the butt into the unfeeling earth
Purpose is just a concept humans made in our minds
To make us feel better about the suffering of life
I think I’d like to cut the power please.
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Love at First Light
Did I die when I first saw you?
Did my mind collapse into a puddle of goop when you waved?
Did our souls interconnect like snakes in heat when you hugged me?
Did my entire life become focused on that first “hello”?
The short answer i suppose is...
No
But as sun crept its way across the blue, blue sky
it sure began to feel that way
It was when I sat across from you, expensive coffee in hand
Did i start to notice how wide your smile was
How your teeth glinted with mischievous intentions 
How your face shone in its fluorescent light
How your laugh was like the tinkle of sleigh bells
Our nervous banter slipping off our silken tongues
Only halted by small bouts of extended eye contact
It was far too easy to get sucked into your sunlight
Too easy to forget previous restrictments
And run away into some faraway place
Where i could analyze the incredible curves of your face
All
Alone
Instead we ran away through the valleys to your home
Where I caught my first glimpse at a future not yet written
I got to feel the air between us tense in anticipation
Molecules physically grabbing us by the collars
And dragging us closer
Close up I saw the dual colours in your eyes
Like a drop of sweet syrup in the Atlantic
Lord how I wish I could tell you what I saw
The perfect curve of your body as you lay beside me
The electric touch of your hands on my neck 
I could almost feel roots growing into your skin
Locked in, and not easily ripped out
But how could I not?
The way we’d laugh in the middle of making love
And profess our enjoyment of this moment
The way our bodies fit like nothing I’d ever experienced
The feeling of coming home to bed after a long trip
Or when you finally find the right key for a frustrating lock
Or when everything fits perfectly in your backpack
It just felt, right
And even after we ravaged each other, your voice was gentle
Discussing life problems, solutions
I swear we could have solved all the worlds issues in that bedroom
if only we had more time
And care
And emotional availability
But Alas, we are different planets
Separated by lightyears of distance, personal issues, life plans
It would take sci-fi levels of fuckery for it to work
And besides, I’m not sure you feel the same
I’m now sitting here, phone in hand waiting,
Waiting on some magic message that will either suck me in further
Or finally turn me away from this impossible dream
But I doubt this is something I’ll have figured out for me
I’m the idiot who decided to fall in love with a man just like me
I knew I should have hated myself more
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A visit before you leave
I hope you’ll visit me if you leave
Wake me up in the middle of the night
Hold my hand, tell me you love me
I’ll be spooked, maybe ask why you’re there
But you’ll stay mysterious
Telling me to be good
And to think about him sometimes
You’ll get up and walk to the door
Blow me one final kiss and take your place upstairs
Where i know you’ll go with the other bright ones
I’ll be left to wonder
Was it really you, or was it my imagination
Your ghost come to see me one last time
Or hopeful dreaming
Either way
I hope you’ll care enough to say goodbye
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My Deer
My Deer my Deer
You’ve been hit again
That bullet of mortality gone straight to your soul
Shot by the gun of the unfeeling universe
Set on the destruction of of you
My Deer my Deer
Your future so uncertain
As I look into your eyes
I fear this might really be the end
My Deer my Deer
I can only do so much to help you
As I already maimed your innocent heart
And have yet to forgive myself
My Deer my Deer
Please let me hold your hoof
And bury my face into your warm stomach
So that I may pour myself into you
My Deer my Deer
I can see your antlers begin to crack and crumble
Your fur falling out in my hands
And your muscles disintegrate
My Deer my Deer
You aren’t meant to be here
You should be running through the woods
Happy and healthy as you graze your days away
My Deer my Deer
Please don’t let Mother Nature take her course
Fight back and survive this wound
So that we may one day run together again
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I don’t want to think about you tonight
I don’t want to think about you crying
I don’t want to think about you sobbing my name
and cursing it for the wrongs ive caused you
even if that isnt what youre doing
its what i feel youre doing
i wish the circumstances could have been better
that we hadnt gotten so attached
that it was just another relationship
but sadly it wasnt
and i hurt you real bad
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