yousta - Tumblr blog

[yousta]

Rising Yandere Popstar Yousta's World Domination Diary, Entry 1

So it begins. This will be a live account of what will become the biggest movement and/or forceful takeover of the planet. No longer will the identity of the word lovesick or yandere be gate kept by the self aware and evil.

Big government funding has already been implemented to keep us confused and oppressed. They've injected their "cannibalism is a metaphor for love." narrative, into our community one too many times. I know you see it. Well, I see you, man, in the skin suit. You think you're fooling anyone here? Do you think you can be one of us? No, the truth is WE know how WE feel about our beloveds.

Evil may have the day, my followers. We will overcome the trials ahead of us. All we need is the unconditional passion radiating from our hearts.

End of transmission

[yousta]

I found you ☺️❤️

I crave your flesh. While I do crave your touch, please don't, I'd be too overwhelmed by the sensation from my years spent alone. Let me rest in your heart, confide to only to your soul, whisper my secrets into your blood.

You're too beautiful for this world, too shiny and gleaming. Though you're but only a spirit, a promise of something greater, please hold me and let me cry into you.

I need you, your flesh, your home, love. I need your love and your heart. I LOVE YOU.

Please promise me you'll do the same? Crave me, house my heart in yours, possess me as I have of you, write me little notions of love, give me your time, let me occupy the deepest reaches of your soul.

Give me you and I'll give myself. Only for you, the air I breath, the colors I dream, the poison that jades me.

[yousta]

New track

[yousta]

"I don't wanna talk about who we were at 17.

My heart's broke.

Show me what love means."

I got just that it seems.

Woke up mistaking this for my dreams.

From playing it back in my mind,

I just needed you there everytime,

and everything would've been fine.

Instead of on my own,

No one I could call in my phone.

In the end I found out who I am,

outside the isolation but god damn

With others,

the way I felt,

they'd make me regret it,

but you in a summer set.

Eyes in a dead set silhouette.

Was too good to forget.

Always forever here and now.

I hope this never ends somehow.

Like in reality,

I want to live forever,

but in everyway I am.

We exchange cute love spam.

Every day, I wanna hold her hand.

[yousta]

People here don't respect boundaries hmm... It saddens me when whoever thinks so lowly of people identifying as lovesick/yandere, that they'd make such generalizations. If you stay long enough you'd know, being this way isn't fun for a lot of people here, nor is everything sensationalized. There's so many people here just venting and this is their only outlet. Me, a soft yan. Spends my time here because I find it endearing to find people who relate to how I feel. You don't have us or anything else in the world all figured out, your perception of everything is twisted to fit your creepy agenda. Get off yanblr and give life some understanding and meaning, which is the basis of love, then maybe you'd make some damn sense anon. 

I took the hint. thing is that, I don't care.

you're on yanblr. you really thought that people here respect boundaries?

as I said, I don't care.

you see, you can be on yanblr and still have basic fucking respect. boundaries are always important. you can take that ideology and shove it up your ass <3

[yousta]

Love letters i've addressed to you. Shaky, writing I'm obsessed with you, cause I hated when the rest fell through.

My real self I let them get to, and their intentions weren't see-through, but they didn't love me like you do.

I blush and look off to the side. With your company things amplified. In your eyes my heart races inside.

Eyes soft like when after you've cried. Cute turning red when pressure's applied. Considering that the world's so wide,

it's luck having one to confide. Relatable friends commit suicide. It's sad that they never saw this side

[yousta]

Since I like facts instead of chatter. Somethings will matter, but I won't let my thoughts scatter, it's the power. What the devil sought after.

To be all I want to be, and speak with a certainty. So my childhood can be understood. So as an adult I feel good, doing what I should.

Have you ever been lost in the night? Needed more than the moon white, to bring it back to the light? Drop off, shadow gf had love on sight, my shadow don't fight.

Best dream in motion, mirrored love and devotion overflowing. This is your world I want you knowing.

[yousta]

Waking up beside her through dawn. I yawn, wondering what planet I'm on, cause I'm gone. So far removed from the same old song.

Found where I belong, we're mutually drawn. The adoring was pouring at 7 o'clock in the morning. No alarms. Just sweet soft spoken charms, "I would die in your arms."

No mistaking, she's not faking, and the love has me shaking I love what you bring, I love how you cling, Yes you're the sweetest thing.

Success? Yes! I woke up and did my best! Took out my ex's heart out my chest. Caught up on my rest, and I'm feeling expressed! It was worth the wait, to see her eyes dilate.

To you and a past me. Someday you'll relate, and you'll learn to move the weight you place, live to see heaven on their face.

Oh I know how you've tried, you've tried and tried, but if right now you can decide you're satisfied. No regrets after being denied, well that'd make anyone's eyes wide, cause all of them never replied. Never recognized what was inside, was a place to confide.

My memory never let it go after your blood dried, it's something to cry about, and I've cried at the thought of your suic!de. Your heart I couldn't hide, my heart you couldn't hide. No one by our side.

Lost my appetite, couldn't sleep, didn't eat for a week. I write, "who knows how it goes?". So starved, the cold night hammered nails in the joints of my fingers and toes.

No bright blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white. Nothing made it seem like it'd ever be alright, somehow we hung on tight. Thank goodness we did cause here it's alright. and someday. It might all decay,

but by the end of this arc, when their souls embark. We'll follow them straight through the dark. Live to make that spark from their heart. I promise it'll make the purest art.

[yousta]

“id die for you” “id kill for you” yeah? well, id live for you. id devote myself to you. id trust your every word and take it as law.

[yousta]

(Sigh) I know I don't normally make posts that express my raw thoughts but I'd really like to start talking more personal. So this is my first attempt.

I'd like to say hello to members of the obsessive love, IRL yandere/lovesick community. I'm like hyper-fixated on you guys as I feel like I can empathize with so many, which was a unique experience for me.

If you've posted in the last couple months chances are I've probably went through your account. That's how I met my girlfriend, I know you're reading, Hiii honey bunny I love you so much.

Sure I have my own defined idea of the concept and what I like about it like everyone else does I'm sure. I'm sometimes selective with what I'll interact with. Which is part of what I wanted to talk to you about today. What I personally see, the good the bad the ugly, just the whole thing.

I'll start with the potential...

In my life, I isolated myself for many years because I couldn't find anyone who wanted to pay attention to me long enough to understand me, let alone care enough to actually love me. Which I more or less assumed was a trend of people identifying as lovesick, no one will know what you need better than yourself after all.

Obsessive love is making a point of love being a major focus in your life. Which is great you would think, until the rest of the world sees you as just another fish in the sea. They wouldn't recognize you for it as anything real, because not many people value upfront love. Everyone excepts liars and cheaters because that's all people seem to do without intention.

The act of being needy isn't attractive, it's why not everyone's giving money to a homeless person you have no connection to. Well I wanted to take a moment and say this is not that for me.

I read you guys everyday, I'm convinced a lot of you are seemingly inherently obsessive about a lot of the things you do, because given the platform you communicate yourself so coherently, so open and in touch with what you know you need. To the point when I first started reading people here. I was confused, feeling like I knew them even though it was parasocial.

Well that's because I relate to your struggle better than my own irl friends in those ways. I just wanted to say you're my favorite fish. I know I could never give you that love you desire as I'm taken, but I really want to extend the offer of friendship to each and every one of you, because I want to create a place for you to be recognized for all the love you've given. It may be platonic but I love you as the light of this world.

Of course nothing is all sunshine and rainbows.

There's people who'd intentionally ignore the warning signs or have such low self awareness, they won't or can't see what they're representing certainly has the potential to be or become toxic. Whether if it's for yourself or others.

Possessing but recognizing violent thoughts as intrusive is one thing, but identifying yourself by having those thoughts. I can't help but to acknowledge how you're building yourself up, creating momentum in a direction I don't think you or anyone truly wants. My question to you is why?

Hopefully you're just being very far removed from your words and the reality of you're saying, hopefully you're too deep into some strange character or persona you've invented and can separate yourself from it. Yet it seems to me that this is not always the case... Some members of the community are really struggling.

I mean I understand, people I knew growing up didn't have any real defined idea about love or stepped with any firm intention. So I understand why something like you see in these yan tropes could be appealing.

I grew up in a city where everyone is really cold to one another. Honestly I've lived here all my life and never felt like I truly know or trust anyone. Which when I was younger lead to a lot of moments I lacked insight I needed, to get my desired out come. I don't think you're barking up the wrong tree entirely however.

Which is why with this post and in future ones. I really want to help you guys with some general advice to set your intention, get your perspective and mindset right for loving in this style. I think I'd be a good person to ask, as I'm currently very sucuessful and happy in my current relationship. If any of you ever need to talk more personally though, my DMs are open for anyone who needs to vent.  

[yousta]

Words I can't extend, but if it's an ear you'll lend. I would like to attend to the notion you're a loose end cause you codepend. Watch these self fulfilling prophecies, cause in the end. I see someone who doesn't need just another "friend".

You let them truly get to you and never play pretend. So I empathize when you go off the deep end, cause it's true love that you intend, but you too have a heart that can bend. Know you don't have to fix everything or make amends,

In the text I want to send, It's your love I want to defend. Someone like you was more than I could comprehend, cause through you and every word you extend. It's time I spend, knowing I can transcend living for whatever on the weekend.

[yousta]

Terrible thoughts I hoard, inspired from the memories of people I've stored. For a long time I've felt ignored, but she seamlessly strikes a chord.

Relatable like it's coming out my vocal cord, and intentionally cuts through my pain like a sword. Straight through the vertebrae in my spinal cord, never blunt like it came from an extension cord.

She makes me feel adored. Never bored, all depths of the mind explored. Controlled by no lord, demonic like I'm stepping on checkerboard.

It's bright and white, the future we move toward. Hey darling, my heart has been restored. Got your voice on record for my little reward, secret photos of you on my dashboard.

I still love you on my own accord, still stalking you in the all black ford, so I know the love from your heart you've poured is true, and it makes me love you<3

I wrote this poem alongside my lovely girlfriend @your-thorn

[yousta]

You fill my thoughts every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every month, of every year…

Of every lifetime.

[yousta]

They weren't serving affection. My memory's a collection of rejection.

Isolated from connection, may have lead to a lot of reflection, but it takes awhile to make perfection.

Darling that's you though, you are perfection. Everything points in that direction.

For me it's never been a question, my every expression became your obsession.

I see my reflection.

Don't need another love lesson,

that's not you though, you make the pain lessen.

My past you dress in.

The breath you let me borrow, gave me hope for tomorrow.

I love you, I love you.

Despite everything I went through, you still believe in what I can do.

My heart I'll let you see through, I'll be Lelouch to your c2.

UwU

[yousta]

That's how I felt 🥺 then I found @your-thorn and we fell in love. I hope for good fortune in your endeavors

I want to find the person who loves like I do. I want obsession, clingy, possession, worship. When I find that person, I will never let them go. I won't let something like my ego get in the way of someone loving me so deeply.