#Demonstrating Understanding and Empathy

[kidsinnowadays]

How to Be the Cool Parent Without Losing Authority: 6 Hip Strategies That Work

Learn how to strike a balance between being the "cool" parent and maintaining your authority, creating a harmonious and respectful parent-child relationship. #ParentingBalance #CoolParenting #HipStrategies #EffectiveParenting

Striking the Balance Between Cool and Authoritative Parenting is a delicate dance between love, guidance, and boundaries. We all want our children to view us as the cool and understanding parents they can confide in, but we also need to maintain authority to ensure their safety and well-being. Striking this balance can be a real challenge, but it’s not impossible. In this blog post, we’re about…

[iamnotlookingidonotseeit]

fascinating revelations out of my dad's professional coaching of the whole family today

my mom scored astonishingly high on empathy and caring for a woman who seemed to find it next to impossible to express that to me

my dad has done an insane amount of work to be so warm and personable considering that his natural inclination is towards strong reserve rooted in anxiety (just like me!!)

my sister shocked - SHOCKED 🙄 - to learn that she scores almost zero in empathy AND very high on manipulation

actually shocking reveal that my sister always knew she was my mom's favorite. like I kind of assumed she was mean to both of us but apparently most of the biting comments were for me

[mariocki]

"We should stop thinking in terms of 'compensatory education' but consider, instead, most seriously and systematically the conditions and contexts of the educational environment.

The very form our research takes tends to confirm the beliefs underlying the organization, transmission and evaluation of knowledge by the school. Research proceeds by assessing the criteria of attainment that schools hold, and then measures the competence of different social groups in reaching these criteria. We take one group of children, whom we know beforehand possess attributes favourable to school achievement; and a second group of children, whom we know beforehand lack these attributes. Then we evaluate one group in terms of what it lacks when compared with another. In this way research unwittingly underscores the notion of deficit and confirms the status quo of a given organization, transmission and, in particular, evaluation of knowledge. Research very rarely challenges or exposes the social assumptions underlying what counts as valid knowledge, or what counts as a valid realization of that knowledge."

- Basil Bernstein, Education Cannot Compensate for Society, in Education for Democracy (2nd ed., 1972)

[imastoryteller]

20 Essential Positive Traits to Make Your Characters Empathetic to Readers

Empathy: The character demonstrates an understanding of others' feelings and shows compassion.

Courage: The character faces fears or challenges bravely, inspiring admiration.

Determination: The character persists in achieving their goals despite obstacles, earning respect.

Kindness: The character is compassionate and considerate towards others, evoking warmth.

Humor: The character has a sense of humor, making them endearing and relatable.

Honesty: The character is truthful, creating trust and a sense of reliability.

Vulnerability: The character shows vulnerability, making them more human and relatable.

Curiosity: The character is curious and open-minded, inviting readers to explore with them.

Resilience: The character bounces back from setbacks, inspiring hope and admiration.

Generosity: The character is generous, creating a sense of goodwill.

Loyalty: The character is loyal to their values or to others, inspiring trust and admiration.

Optimism: The character maintains a positive outlook, even in difficult situations, inspiring hope.

Creativity: The character is imaginative and innovative, sparking curiosity and admiration.

Wisdom: The character demonstrates wisdom beyond their years, earning respect and admiration.

Integrity: The character acts according to a strong moral code, earning respect and trust.

Empowerment: The character empowers others, creating a sense of inspiration and admiration.

Altruism: The character acts selflessly for the greater good, inspiring admiration and empathy.

Resourcefulness: The character is resourceful in solving problems, earning respect and admiration.

Independence: The character is independent, inspiring admiration and respect.

Passion: The character is passionate about their goals, inspiring admiration and motivation.

[theambitiouswoman]

Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

[littlepeach-world]

Baby on Board

Paring: Frontman/Hwang In-Ho x Pregnant!Wife!Reader

Summary: You and In-ho welcome your beautiful baby into the world.

Warnings: Emotional Intensity, Pregnancy and Childbirth, Past Trauma, Labor and Delivery, little angst idk, fluff, soft!inho, protective!inho, dad!inho, husband!inho

Word count: 1.4k

Notes: Just a short fic while I’m working on everyone’s request. Enjoy! 

Your life has been a tapestry of warmth, compassion, and an unwavering belief in the goodness of people. As you stand at the threshold of a new chapter, about to bring a new life into the world, you reflect on the journey that has brought you and your husband to this moment. His rigid exterior and commanding presence often mask a heart full of pain and love—a heart that you know intimately.

Before In-ho became the Front Man of the Squid Game, his life was scarred by a profound personal tragedy. You never knew his late wife, but you've seen the imprints of his loss in the silent sorrow that occasionally flickers in his eyes. His unborn child, too, was a loss that cut deeply into his soul. These memories, though rarely spoken about, have shaped the man he is today—authoritative, relentless, and emotionally guarded.

Despite this, you've come to understand that his ruthless pragmatism is a shield, a way to cope with the responsibilities that weigh heavily upon him. In-ho’s meticulous nature, his need for control and precision, all stem from his desire to prevent any further chaos or pain. Yet, beneath this exterior lies a man conflicted and complex, grappling with the shadows of his past and the duties of his present.

In-ho may rule the games with an iron fist, but your presence in his life brings a warmth that melts the ice around his heart. From the moment he fell in love with you, it was as if a light had pierced through the shrouded corners of his soul—a feeling he had never experienced before. Your own personality—a blend of empathy, nurturing, and optimism—complements his in ways that only destiny could orchestrate. Where he is methodical, you are spontaneous; where he is guarded, you are emotionally open.

Your relationship with him is a delicate balance of yin and yang. Your love is the sanctuary where In-ho can shed his armor, finding solace in the tenderness you offer. Through your creative pursuits and gentle spirit, you bring joy and beauty into his otherwise dark world, creating a space where both of you can breathe freely.

When you revealed to In-ho that you were pregnant, he was initially shocked, the news surfacing deep-seated fears and emotions. But that shock quickly turned into an all-encompassing happiness, deepening the love he felt for you. The idea of bringing a new life into the world—and into his life—was a prospect that filled his heart with newfound hope.

From that moment forward, In-ho became even more overprotective. His attention to your needs and desire to be near you at all times intensified. Never wanting to be away from you, he shadowed your every move, ensuring safety and comfort surrounded you, almost as if it were his new mission. This vigilant presence revealed the depths of his transformation—a man once cloaked in detachment, now a devoted protector with love as his guiding force.

Inho did everything for you. Whether it was cooking your meals, washing your hair, or changing your clothes, he took on each task with unwavering dedication, determined that you should never have to lift a finger. He found immense pleasure in caring for you, meticulously attending to even the smallest details of your life to ensure your absolute comfort and well-being. Through his actions, Inho demonstrated the profound love and commitment that drove his every movement and decision, showcasing a depth of affection that transformed not only his life but yours as well.

The day you go into labor is a whirlwind of emotions. In-ho, usually so composed and in control, becomes your pillar of support despite his visible nerves. As the contractions grow stronger, you see the cracks in his confident façade. He hates seeing you in pain, and each twinge of discomfort you experience reflects in the worry etched on his face.

He holds your hand tightly as you make your way to the hospital, his words of comfort doing as much to soothe his own fears as they do to ease your anxiety. “You’ve got this,” he whispers, his voice a steady anchor in the chaos. “I’m here with you every step of the way.”

In the delivery room, the world narrows to just you, In-ho, and the impending arrival of your baby. The pain is intense, and as you push with all your strength, In-ho’s supportive voice fills the room.

“You can do it, my love. You're so strong,” he says, kissing your forehead.

Through gritted teeth, you sometimes snap at him, the pain overwhelming your usual patience. “You did this to me, In-ho! I hate you right now!” you yell, tears streaming down your face.

In-ho only holds you tighter, a gentle smile on his lips. “I know, sweetheart. I know. You're doing amazing, and I love you so much,” he assures, his voice unwavering as he brushes a strand of hair from your face.

Finally, with one last push, the room fills with the sound of your baby’s first cry. Relief washes over both of you. In-ho kisses you deeply, tears of pride in his eyes.

“I’m so proud of you,” he murmurs against your lips. He then looks toward the doctor, who is offering him scissors to cut the umbilical cord.

His hands tremble slightly as he takes the scissors, but his resolve is clear. With a determined and loving expression, he cuts the cord, solidifying his role as a father. The doctor then takes the baby to perform the standard tests and clean them up.

In-ho refuses to leave the baby’s side, his eyes never straying from the tiny, precious form. He watches intently, his heart racing with every movement and sound, ensuring that everything is perfect. He holds his breath as the doctors perform their tests, only releasing it when told that everything is fine.

When the doctor hands you the baby first, In-ho’s heart swells with pride and love as he watches you hold your newborn for the first time. He’s overcome with emotion, tears stinging his eyes as he sees you cradling the tiny life you both created.

You gaze at him, a silent understanding passing between you, knowing that this moment is as monumental for him as it is for you. After a few precious moments, you gently pass the baby to him.

His breath catches in his throat as he gazes into the eyes of his newborn for the first time. A soft gasp escapes his lips as his eyes fill with tears.

"Hello, little one," he whispers, his voice filled with awe and tenderness. He brushes a gentle finger across the baby's cheek, marveling at the soft, delicate skin. "I love you more than words can say." The look on his face is one of pure adoration and vulnerability, a side of In-ho rarely seen by the outside world.

As you both sit on the hospital bed, you, still exhausted, lay your head on In-ho’s shoulder while he cradles your newborn for the first time. Tears stream down his face, unable to contain the flood of emotions.

“Thank you for letting me be a dad,” he whispers, his voice breaking. “I vow to always love and protect you both, no matter what.”

Together, you gaze at the tiny, fragile life you've brought into the world, with a sense of completion and wholeness. The strong and determined man you fell in love with remains, but now he has also become a loving husband and devoted father. Inho reflects deeply on how empty and mundane his life was before you came into it, realizing with gratitude how you, have illuminated every shadowed corner of his existence.

Even with his steely resolve, he often feels unworthy of someone as extraordinary as you. He questions what you see in him and marvels at his fortune of ending up with someone so perfect. Inho silently vows to cherish and adore you like a queen for all the days of his life, promising to honor and protect you and your newborn with every fiber of his being.

Your journey together, sculpted by balance, unwavering support, and profound understanding, stands as a testament to the enduring power of love. Inho has never experienced a love as deep and transformative as the one he shares with you and your child. The connection and devotion he feels are unparalleled, a symphony he wishes to nurture forever.

In a world often enveloped in darkness, your love is the light that guides him—a beacon of hope and warmth he desperately clings to. As you both embark on this new chapter, you face the future hand-in-hand, with a bond so strong that no tragedy can sever it.

[stellaspectral]

Hi! Any headcanons for dating rise donnie?

A/N: Sure! 😊

Dating Rise Donnie (SFW)

💜 ROTTMNT Donatello/Gender Neutral Reader 💜

CWs: None. All characters are aged-up.

Donnie’s initial attempts at flirting might just sound like his usual sarcastic commentary, leaving you wondering if he’s insulting you or hitting on you.

But when he does decide to ask you out, expect something needlessly complex. Maybe a holographic presentation detailing the benefits of a romantic partnership, or a custom-built gadget meant to deliver the message that backfires spectacularly.

His hyper-focus, occasional arrogance (masking insecurity), and social awkwardness require understanding. You’ll need to learn to read between the lines of his sarcasm.

Since direct emotional expression isn’t his forte, you’ll become an expert at reading his micro-expressions, the specific type of sarcastic comment he uses when he’s secretly pleased, or the way he fidgets with his goggles when nervous.

Over time, you might notice moments where a genuine, non-sarcastic compliment slips out before he can catch it. He’ll likely blush, stammer, and immediately try to cover it with more sarcasm, but you heard it.

If you’re upset, his instinct isn’t always a hug (though he might learn). It’s to solve the problem. You’ll need to gently explain that sometimes you just need empathy.

Donnie’s love language is acts of service. He’ll build you custom gadgets to solve your problems, upgrade your tech, etc. Need something specific? He can probably build it.

Verbal affection, on the other hand, is … awkward. Compliments might come out sounding like technical assessments. Genuine, heartfelt words are rare. He might stutter or get flustered trying to express them.

Donnie isn’t always the most physically demonstrative of affection, partly due to his focus and often his touch aversion. Initiating small gestures and seeing how he reacts is best. Once comfortable, he might surprise you with possessive hand-holding or leaning into your space.

He doesn’t display overt PDA. But maybe him resting his hand possessively on the back of your chair, angling himself between you and perceived ‘threats’ (like overly friendly strangers), or using custom tech (like a paired communication device) that subtly marks you as connected to him.

After a huge success (a battle won, an invention perfected, etc.), he might be so overcome with adrenaline and relief that he actually initiates a brief, possibly clumsy hug or leans against you. Don’t make a big deal out of it; just accept the rare physical vulnerability.

When he seems extra arrogant or dismissive, it sometimes masks insecurity. He might fish for compliments by presenting an invention and asking for your ‘objective analysis,’ secretly hoping you’ll just say it’s amazing.

Praise is his kryptonite. He thrives on validation, especially regarding his intellect and inventions. Genuinely praising his work or intelligence will make him puff up with pride.

When he excitedly explains the intricacies of quantum physics or the schematics for his latest battle shell upgrade for twenty minutes straight, he’s sharing his passion with you. A big sign of trust and affection on his part.

If you’re passionate about something, he might suddenly become an expert on it overnight after intense research. He might not share the passion, but he’ll understand its mechanics and history, which is his way of connecting.

Prepare for dates involving beta-testing his latest invention, competitive video game marathons (he will gloat), trips to the junkyard for components, or maybe even falling down rabbit holes on weird corners of the internet together.

Though a significant portion of your quality time together will likely be spent in his lab. Sometimes you’ll be helping (handing him tools, being a sounding board, etc.). Other times you’ll just be chilling amidst the controlled chaos while he hyper-focuses. Oh—and bring snacks. He forgets to eat.

Eventually, you’ll get your own lab space. It might just be a small, meticulously organized corner of his lab initially, but he’ll later designate a space for your stuff or for you to comfortably hang out.

Once you’re his person, he’s incredibly protective. He’ll use his tech and intellect to keep you safe, even if his methods are … unconventional.

If you’re ever in genuine danger, the sarcastic, dramatic Donnie vanishes. He becomes ruthlessly efficient, calculating, and terrifyingly focused on neutralizing the threat and getting you to safety. His tech becomes lethal, his plans precise.

One of the best signs he’s truly comfortable is when he can just exist in the same space as you, both doing your own things (him tinkering, you reading/scrolling/etc.), without needing constant interaction.

He secretly loves being taken care of. When he’s truly exhausted or sick (which he’ll deny until he collapses), having you bring him soup, enforce rest, or just quietly sit with him means more than he’ll admit.

It takes immense trust for him to let you see his experiments blow up (literally or figuratively) without him getting overly defensive or dramatic. If he can sigh, complain about the variables, and start cleaning up with you there, you’re truly integrated into his process.

For Donnie, acknowledging the validity and soundness of your reasoning, especially during a discussion or debate, is one of the highest forms of respect and affection he can offer. It means he sees you as an intellectual equal.

[aphroditelovesu]

Yandere Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham Headcanons (Poly!Romantic)

❝ 🍽 — lady l: I finally managed to post this!! I really liked the result and I hope you like it :) forgive me for any mistakes and good reading. 💙🤎

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, manipulation, kidnapping, death and mention of suicide and violence, toxic relationships.

❝🔪pairing: yandere!hannibal lecter x gender neutral!reader x yandere!will graham.

The idea of ​​someone else coming into their relationship wasn't something they planned or thought about. They were still getting used to the new dynamics of their relationship, so actually adding a third person wasn't in the cards. But when Hannibal and Will met you, that thought took root in their minds.

You were like a breath of fresh air to them. Something new, exciting, and something they could keep to themselves, as a new addition to their new lives. And they were eager to make you fit into your new life with them.

Initially, Hannibal and Will watched you from a distance, exchanging conspiratorial glances and smiles, as if sharing a silent secret. Every interaction with you only reinforced the idea that you were the missing piece to the puzzle they were putting together. They had no doubt that you would be theirs eventually, whether you wanted it or not.

Hannibal, with his calculating nature and magnetic charm, began to engage you with his intellectual conversations and sophisticated dinners, demonstrating an almost mesmerizing hospitality. He knew exactly how to capture your attention and make you feel special, he knew how to make you feel indispensable.

Will, on the other hand, with his sensitivity and keen perception, found subtle ways to connect with you. He understood you in a way few could, offering a shoulder to lean on and a deep understanding of your emotions and thoughts. His sincere vulnerability was a perfect contrast to Hannibal's confident assurance.

You found yourself torn between these two poles of attraction, each complementing the other in a way that seemed almost orchestrated. Hannibal and Will became more and more indispensable, each encounters deepening your connection and making the idea of ​​leaving their circle more and more unthinkable.

Finally, a dinner at Hannibal's house that felt more like a secret celebration than a simple meal. The tension in the air was palpable, filled with unspoken promises and unspoken desires. Hannibal and Will, with complicit looks, began to close the distance between the three of you, breaking down the last remaining barriers. They didn't hide their intentions anymore, nor what they were. There was no more secret.

They knew perfectly well how to manipulate you, how to make you trust them completely. Every interaction, every gesture, was carefully calculated to deepen their dependence and trust. Hannibal, with his ability to read people and understand their weaknesses, knew exactly what to say to make you feel valued and special. His words were like a balm, soothing any doubts you might have had.

Will, in turn, used his innate empathy to connect with you on a deep emotional level. He knew how to make you feel understood and accepted, creating an intimacy that seemed almost magical. His eyes reflected a sincerity that was difficult to question, and his presence offered a comfort that became addictive.

They were both good to you, in their own way. Hannibal would always cook you your favorite meals, and treat you to anything you want. Do you want to go on a ridiculously expensive trip? No problem. He will give you all the best and the best, bathing you in luxury. Will is more simplistic in this situation, he prefers to show his love for you through touches, like kisses and hugs, but he also gives you gifts when you want something.

Will is the more affectionate of the two, at least physically. He likes to hug you constantly, bury his head in your neck or steal kisses from you. Hannibal is already more subtle in his touches, he prefers to place a hand on your shoulder, lift your chin so that you look him in the eyes and kiss your forehead gently.

They are extremely possessive and overprotective and this is nothing new. Hannibal will kill and cook anyone who gives you the wrong look or displays inappropriate behavior around you. To him, you are a treasure that must be protected at all costs, and he will not hesitate to use his macabre skills to ensure your safety. Any perceived threat is quickly eliminated and transformed into a feast only you can enjoy.

Will, on the other hand, has a different but equally intense approach. He is more than willing to beat anyone to death if he thinks they are trying to steal you from them. His anger is raw and direct, driven by an intense passion and a desperate need to protect those he loves and he loves you, even if it's in a twisted way. For Will, you are the anchor that maintains his sanity, and he will do anything to maintain that stability, even if it means committing extreme acts of violence.

Hannibal and Will are an amazing duo when they work together and if they want you, they will get you. While Will may have reservations about kidnapping you and forcing you into a relationship with them, Hannibal already thinks otherwise. You are theirs and there is nothing wrong with taking what is yours, is there?

There is no escaping them. You can try as much as you want, but they will always find you. They are great at hunting together and they would hunt you all over the world if necessary. You won't leave them, they will be sure of that.

In the end, you become part of their world, accepting that, although complex and sometimes terrifying, it is the only place you truly belong. They own you, and you, in some way, also own them, creating an indissoluble bond that redefines the concept of relationship. The sooner you accept that this is your new reality and accept them as your partners, everything will be fine. But if not, Hannibal will have no problem teaching you manners and Will are going to be there to help heal your wounds and silence your cries.

[manda-kat]

I think it's important to remember that just because you find someone basic or boring or whatever, you're actually very wrong and they are a unique and layered person with their own complicated life, emotions and interests. They don't have to perform anything to show you how interesting or special they are.

That straight white girl with her stanly cup and sephora makeup doesn't have to show you what makes her 'unique'. The older gentleman who shares conspiracy theories on facebook and mows his lawn early in the morning doesn't have to prove he isn't an 'npc' to you. The woman with the 'Karen' haircut and her son who watches stupid youtube videos don't have to drop everything to demonstrate to you that they can break the stereotypes you've associated with them.

Every person is a real person. Even if you never see them do a thing other than what you expect them to do, they are just as deep and emotional as you are because they are ALIVE! They're real! And they don't owe you a tour into their lives just to prove to you that they have thoughts and feelings! Just because you lack the empathy or understanding to see that someone who doesn't share your same lifestyle, hobbies or stereotypes might actually have a rich and detailed life, doesn't mean you're right.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

When your Character "Lacks Empathy"

A person who lacks empathy - has a difficult time taking on another person’s feelings as their own.

They may struggle with the cognitive and emotional skills to understand, relate, and mutually share in another person’s experience to better understand their emotional pain.

Types of Empathy

There are three common types of empathy that a person may lack:

Cognitive empathy: Also known as perspective-taking, cognitive empathy relies on the listener’s capacity to relate to another person’s perspective without imposing their own experience, point of view, or biases.

Compassionate empathy: A hybrid of cognitive and emotional empathy, compassionate empathy requires analyzing the underlying cause and effect of a situation. After someone explains their circumstances, you can demonstrate that you understand their situation on some level in an unbiased manner.

Emotional empathy: An emotionally empathetic person can mirror another’s struggles. This means they can care for another’s well-being through shared experience of emotional situations.

Signs of Lack of Empathy

While there are many different signs that a person lacks empathy, here are a few common traits that unempathetic people may display:

An inability to understand others: A person who lacks empathy may struggle to understand other people’s feelings, problems, or life situations.

Difficulty regulating emotions: Someone who lacks empathy often has a hard time understanding or regulating their own emotions.

Excessive criticism: Those who lack empathy may criticize others harshly and often. They rarely use validation to make others feel seen or heard.

Impatience: A person who lacks empathy may be extremely impatient with other people, their difficulties, and their emotions.

Minimal forgiveness: Those who lack empathy are often unwilling to forgive others for their mistakes or weaknesses or remember that other people are also human beings.

Poor listening skills: Many people who lack empathy have a hard time listening to other people, whether they’re sharing triumphs or struggles.

Self-centeredness: A person who lacks empathy is often self-centered or self-focused and has a difficult time considering other people.

Victim-blaming: Those who lack empathy are often quick to blame the victim in a situation, rather than considering the perpetrator or system.

Some Causes of a Lack of Empathy

There are many causes of an empathy deficit. They include but are not limited to:

A personality disorder: Some people who struggle to empathize with others may have a personality disorder that inhibits their ability to connect or communicate. Common personality disorders include narcissistic personality disorder (NPD or narcissism), antisocial personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder (or BPD).

Autism spectrum disorder: Individuals on the autism spectrum may experience different levels of empathy, interpersonal skills, and emotional intelligence.

Lack of awareness: Many people who lack empathy simply don’t realize it and therefore haven’t spent time and energy working to develop empathy. Self-awareness is a key step toward empathy.

Lack of role models: Many people who are unempathetic have not had strong role models for empathetic behavior in their lives—or have had many models of unempathetic behavior instead.

Impact of Lack of Empathy

Empathy is a foundational component to feeling compassion for others, building trust with others, and helping loved ones through hard times.

Without a sense of empathy, a person will struggle to care about anyone other than themselves, and may find it difficult to care about helping or listening to others.

This lack of empathy can severely affect their ability to maintain healthy relationships with others or effect positive change in their community.

Addressing a Lack of Empathy

If you find that someone you know—whether a family member or a coworker—is struggling to be an empathetic person, here are a few techniques you can use to help encourage their sense of empathy:

Address it directly. Many people who lack empathy are simply unaware of themselves or the struggles around them. While it may be hard, consider sitting down one-on-one with the people in your life who lack empathy and talk candidly about the situation. Be patient, kind, and empathetic in your conversation—even if they’re upset, the honest realization that they struggle to experience empathy is the first step toward actively developing the skill.

Model empathic behavior. One of the strongest ways for a person to develop empathy and emotional connections with others is to surround themselves with good role models of empathetic behavior. To help someone who struggles to be empathetic, display empathy in your conversations with them and in your interactions with others, being kind and generous to show them what it looks like.

Practice identifying emotions. Many people who lack empathy struggle to understand others’ emotions and where they come from. They may interpret someone who’s scared as being angry or someone who’s hurt as being aggressive. To help develop their ability to understand others’ emotions, practice identifying emotional reactions in others and discussing potential causes. For example, if a friend is having a hard time, talk through it with the person to identify how that friend might be feeling and why. You can also consider discussing ways in which you both could help.

Recommend professional help. Some people may lack empathy due to a mental health difficulty or major stressor in their life. Consider recommending a visit to a mental health professional or empathy coach to help them get their life back on track and make more room for empathy in their interactions with others.

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[comradesummers]

the thing that i find so frustrating about the take that maddie is somehow a bad sister to buck is that i feel like you could only come to this conclusion if you view maddie exclusively in relation to buck and not as a character in her own right. i mean, it's not like anyone ever really asks whether buck is a good brother to maddie. It's only maddie who's scrutinized in this way. you could argue that this is because buck is just a perfect sibling who has never misunderstood maddie, or held things against her that weren't her fault, or given her questionable advice, etc., but that's just demonstrably untrue. take his "you're the one who leaves" speech to her in S03E16. buck essentially blames maddie, not only for "leaving" him while she was trapped in an abusive relationship with a partner who isolated her from her loved ones, but also for "abandoning" their parents (???), something buck also did, and for good reason. and to be clear, i don't think this speech makes buck a bad brother. he was feeling cornered and he lashed out, and while he could've been a lot more understanding of maddie's situation, his feelings of abandonment are understandable. but it seems to me that this kind of empathetic reading of character motivations is only ever applied to buck.

if, for example, maddie were to make an equivalent speech, about how buck couldn't possibly understand what she's feeling because he's never been physically abused or isolated by a partner, the fandom would tear her apart for it. people would be far less willing to extend empathy and understanding to her because they only see her as Buck's Sister and not as her own character. you're saying she's occasionally flawed and imperfect? that her traumatic childhood where she was parentified and forced to pretend her dead brother never existed has an effect on how she treats buck as an adult? that's just normal character stuff. characters that aren't flawed and complicated are boring. but if you only see her as an extension of buck, then her every interaction with him is judged by how well she serves his narrative rather than who she is and what she's going through.

despite the occasional flaws and mistakes, overall, maddie is a fantastic sister. similarly, buck is also sometimes flawed and doesn't always understand where Maddie is coming from but, overall, he's a great brother.

[rachelamberish]

i think the disconnect with people trying to “um, actually” the whole “solas cares about people despite what epler says” thing is that there is a distinction between what solas says and what solas does. Solas *says* that experiencing the lives of current elves is like walking through a world of tranquil, but a romanced Solas concedes that he was wrong by the end of Trespasser. Solas says a lot of things that sound like his attempt at a coping mechanism due to empathy exhaustion but ultimately do not translate to his motives or his actions.

The only reason he opposes the Qunari in Trespasser is because he hates the idea of the people he has resigned himself to ultimately killing having to live under the shadow of war and suffering or under the Qun for the remainder of their time alive. Like…………… there is no greater inherent contradiction than that. And it is because who he is, at his core, is a being of immense empathy that was bastardized and fashioned for war. HE is a walking contradiction.

To say that he doesn’t care for the people that followed him, past or present, demonstrates a marked misunderstanding of the character that is whatever if it’s from a fan but is INCREDIBLY CONCERNING from the NARRATIVE DIRECTOR of the game that is ABOUT THAT CHARACTER!!

Especially considering i played the game and i SAW how that narrative got spun and it rendered attempts by party characters to understand Solas asinine and grating because it resulted in dogwater writing like “JUST BECAUSE HE’S SAD DOESN’T MEAN HE’S NOT DANGEROUS” and some wacky shit like solas using spirits as cannon fodder and being incredibly blasé about it because that was Epler’s understanding of what a Morally Grey™️ character has to be.

I cannot tap the sign more vigourously but Trick Weekes is quite literally quoted as saying Solas’ fatal flaw is that he cares TOO much. So i don’t know i’m not great at math but something’s not adding up besties!!!!! Which is it???!!!!?????

[witchyafterdark]

— Ominis Gaunt Headcanons; pt. 3

• The Pros and Cons of being with him •

This post has been sitting in my drafts for a very long time now, and was supposed to be the second installment of my previous post about Sebastian! Nevertheless, here it is. I've thought about this one a little bit harder than the other since it's my boy Ominis. All photos used are not mine, and all credits to their respective owners.

・❥・ PROS

He is the most empathetic, compassionate, thoughtful, and caring man you'll ever be with.

Most people need to be taught how to have compassion towards others, or that an example needed to be shown in order for them to learn. But with Ominis, this is something inborn. Empathy is nestled deep inside his bones, and it will be very difficult for anyone to make him act out of alignment from his true caring nature.

He is tremendously protective of you, and by extension, those you consider very close to you.

One of the many ways he demonstrates his devotion to you is by means of providing you with protection. Understandably, he knows that you aren't some damsel who needs help all the time. That's why he discreetly protects you when you need it the most; which are during the times you do not see the danger you're about to encounter, or are already in the midst of.

Quite ironic, he sees certain social situations leagues ahead of you, given his aristocratic upbringing, and can definitely read between the lines of people's intentions toward you. He will immediately step in — with practiced grace mixed with lethality — and eradicate any threat that looms over you before you even begin to notice anything amiss.

By extension, he is also very attuned to your emotional states, physical needs, and mental processes.

You wouldn't have to worry about being with someone who doesn't know how to understand you in ways you want to be understood because that couldn't be further from the truth with Ominis. One of the factors that make him a good partner is that he would actually get to know you before being with you. He took the time to learn your patterns and behaviors, and he genuinely studied you thoroughly in hopes of doing right by you.

Therefore, being in a relationship with him means he truly knows he can be a good match for you, as he doesn't want to waste both of your time. He understands when you're stressed, and would do anything in his power to alleviate your pains. And he knows when to step back and give you your personal space to figure things out by yourself.

Surprisingly, he has a mischievous and adventurous spirit in his heart, and he knows how to keep the fun alive between you two.

Being born blind, he has been told endlessly by his punitive family that he would most likely amount to nothing in his life without their illustrious influence and infamous reputation. But ever the rebel, Ominis wanted to prove to himself that their words hold no significance in his ability to live life to the fullest. To your pleasant surprise, he is much more lively and playful once you truly get to know him and he lets go of all his defenses! He isn't Anne and Sebastian's oldest friend for nothing; he knows a plethora of ways to rebel, bask in the moments of fun and adventure, and get into the occasional mischief to feed the need for a little adrenaline rush. Most people would probably consider him a boring and rigid person to be with, but he's just waiting for the right one to share the joy and happiness with.

Ominis is one of the bravest and most loyal people you'll ever get the chance to be with, whether for friendship or romantic relationship. You'll get to enjoy certain... perks of being with him. And he's more than willing to ensure your comfort and satisfaction as his partner.

Simply put, he has no qualms in waving his family name around to protect and preserve the peace around him — and that includes making sure you're safe, unbothered, and given the same special privileges as he has. Rest assured that once he made up his mind that he wants to be with you, you wouldn't have to worry if he's thinking of anybody else besides you. Everyone will know that he is yours, but most importantly, everyone will know you're his. and he's not embarrassed to say he is with you. In fact, he revels in it; albeit, more privately. While he does want people to know that he is off the market, he loathes the notion of people getting to know what goes on with your relationship with him. He's still a private person at the end of the day.

Behind closed doors, he is the most affectionate, touchy, and loving man you'll ever know.

Ominis is the kind of person that is sensitive to the energies of other people. He is sensitive like that, and for good reason. He can "read" the room perfectly without the need for sight. And so, he would definitely know simply by the sound of your heavy footsteps that you've had a tiring, rough day. Wordlessly, he would have the initiative to cook dinner for you, prepare you a hot bath, not forgetting to lay your night clothes on your bed, and caressing your hair to send you to sleep as you lay secure in his warm embrace at night. He also knows when you just need time alone to be by yourself, and tend to your own needs without him in the picture.

Nevertheless, you wouldn't even think of him as someone that needs to be "coached" into being a good partner — he has that naturally built into his personality.

╭━━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━━╮

・❥・ CONS

Due to his unstable upbringing, he is actually the most possessive person you've ever met... worse that Sebastian.

It is known that Ominis is a very closed-off person. He is very difficult to win over, let alone befriend and to romance. When he was a child, every family connection his father had made was exploited to the bone. Those people would unwittingly feel honored to be acquainted to the Gaunts that they would most likely do anything to win their favor. Ominis' father once taught him that the people around him was supposed to obey him out of respect for their ancient, noble lineage.

Therefore, once Ominis lets you into his life, he unconsciously views you as his possession; someone that must remain in his life, unless he deems otherwise.

During arguments, he would not back down, and would sound punitive at times.

Having to fight for his life — quite literally — at the hands of his cruel family, Ominis has learned that using his words can equally be as destructive as combative magic. His usual sarcastic quips are one of his normal defense mechanisms. But if you're engaged in an argument with him, especially when he knows he is right, best believe he will not hold back. You will get your feelings and pride and dignity hurt. He will lay out the truth no holds barred. He will make you understand why he knows best, and that you should just listen.

After what happened during fifth year with Sebastian, he's had absolutely enough with giving people the benefit of the doubt. Once he made up his mind about a certain topic, good luck trying to change his mind now.

If you are rumored to have been getting closer to another man, best believe he will be taken care of as soon as possible. You won't see that man ever again. (He isn't a Gaunt for nothing).

As far as he's concerned, the only type of friends you need in your life are those he knows of; Poppy Sweeting, Natsai Onai, and perhaps even Imelda Reyes. Sebastian can be part of your circle but even that he is wary of. But if he so hears about other men trying to be close to you (even as your relationship with him is already public knowledge), or you're in the process of entertaining the possibility of being with other men, he will get them out of the picture by the end of the week.

He is not afraid of twisting the truth, fabricating lies and offenses that those men seemingly committed, and falsifying being a witness to a breach of magical protocol just to send them on their merry way. You'll be confused as to how and why these men just keep on getting questioned by magical authorities but you'll be none the wiser about his involvement.

Speaking of, no matter how hard he tries to undo all the conditioning he was put through as a child, his Gaunt tendencies tend to rear its ugly head when he feels out of control, or threatened in any way.

This one is something he does not want you to know. It's one of his deepest, darkest secrets that he tries to bury underneath his caring and compassionate efforts of becoming a better man. Some days, it truly gets the best of him, especially when he perceives that he is not being taken seriously, or that things around him are getting out of control. Being someone without sight (that is also a Gaunt), having absolute control of his surroundings is something he needs to feel safe and secure. Without it, it's as if he is wandless — holding his hands up in front of him like when he was a helpless child.

And so, if he perceives petulance on your part, in spite of him exercising patience, he will resort to intimidation and manipulation. He doesn't need to exert physical force to make you understand exactly what he is capable of if you keep up with your actions.

(There's a reason why Dominis is a thing to begin with. People know he is capable of it!)

Once you're with him, there's no backing out. He won't allow it. You are his.

When you agreed to accept his courtship, he understood it as a mutual agreement that this is not something casual in nature. You are not with him to waste his time, as he wouldn't want to waste yours. The decision to court you was not made on a whim. He realizes the potential of a great and fruitful romantic partnership with you. Therefore, in his mind, you need to validate his assumptions about you. You need to prove that he was right about you.

Of course, he will subtly guide you through the stages of your relationship in order to fit his narrative as he intended. He will mold you to be the person of his dreams, and will give you whatever you want that is within his power. You'd do well to be grateful and acknowledge that through your cooperation.

And if you ever break his heart by being with someone else behind his back, he will make sure you will pay for it... one way or another.

╭━━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━━╮

So, do the pros outweigh the cons for you?

[eeriepromis]

Hogwarts House Sorting: LaDs Edition (and why Caleb isn't who you think he is)

Remember: Hogwarts houses aren’t restrictive boxes. Each person, real or fictional, carries traits from all houses. What determines sorting is not only personality but core values and priorities. This analysis takes into account that nice Slytherins and gentle Gryffindors exist, breaking stereotypes to portray a nuanced, realistic perspective. Let me know your thoughts and your own house headcanons!

Xavier – Primary: Gryffindor | Secondary: Slytherin

Though Xavier outwardly appears gentle and calm, his behavior aligns with core Gryffindor traits: courage, impulsivity, and rebelliousness against injustice. He's not merely courageous out of circumstance; he actively seeks out risks. His creation of the flashy alter-ego "Lumiere" showcases his bravery - and perhaps recklessness - perfectly embodying Gryffindor's inclination toward flashy acts of heroism. His decision to rebel against his royal lineage in Philos, openly defying his father the king who sacrificed innocent lives, further emphasizes his alignment with Gryffindor values - specifically, moral courage. Xavier willingly sacrifices personal safety and stability to fight for what's right and travels back in time, reflecting true Gryffindor spirit. Reasoning for secondary Slytherin: He is sneaky and a little manipulative at times and fully knows what effect his innocent looks have - and uses that to his advantage. You notice this especially during Fluffy Trap. Somehow he is always a few steps ahead of MC and tricks her!

Positive: Courageous, protective, strong moral compass, heroic.

Negative: Reckless, impulsive, stubborn, often acts without foresight.

Zayne – Primary: Ravenclaw | Secondary: Hufflepuff

Zayne's core value truly lies in his relentless pursuit of knowledge and understanding. Importantly, intelligence alone doesn't warrant a Ravenclaw placement - it's the priority given to knowledge and wisdom that defines them. Zayne consistently demonstrates that acquiring knowledge - medical or metaphysical - isn't merely practical for him; it's essential to who he is and what he wants to accomplish (saving MC's life). As the Foreseer and Master of Fate, Zayne’s life revolves around carefully acquired knowledge to make decisions of enormous consequence. His choices are rarely guided by impulse or emotion alone, but always supported by intellectual clarity. His calm, methodical approach underscores his Ravenclaw essence. Reasoning for secondary Hufflepuff: Beneath his logical, stoic exterior, Zayne consistently demonstrates deep-rooted loyalty, compassion, and genuine care. His medical profession and the tireless effort he invests to protect and heal highlight his sincere dedication to the well-being of others. His actions are not driven by glory or recognition, but by quiet, steadfast commitment and genuine empathy.

Positive: Wise, analytical, thoughtful, innovative, responsible.

Negative: Detached emotionally, overly analytical, may appear cold or indifferent.

Rafayel – Primary: Slytherin | Secondary: Ravenclaw

Rafayel strongly aligns with the house of Slytherin through his complex motivations, secrecy, and charm. His playful exterior masks carefully concealed ambitions and plans. His network within the N109 zone and hidden dealings demonstrate his adeptness at navigating complex social dynamics - classic Slytherin traits of cunning and adaptability. His artistic temperament and charisma further illustrate how Slytherins can embody traits often associated with other houses, like creativity and charm, while still prioritizing ambition, resourcefulness, and strategy as their core values. Rafayel exemplifies that Slytherins can have good hearts but choose to show vulnerability selectively, preserving an enigmatic persona. He keeps his cards very close and even MC gets to see them very rarely. Reasoning for secondary Ravenclaw: He’s deeply artistic, driven by a curiosity for truth, meaning, and beauty. These qualities align well with Ravenclaw’s love for learning, creativity, and understanding deeper meanings. His exploration of art as a means to expose societal corruption and his intellectual depth behind each masterpiece clearly display Ravenclaw traits.

Positive: Charismatic, strategic, resourceful, artistic, adaptable.

Negative: Secretive, occasionally manipulative, holds grudges, guarded emotionally.

Sylus – Primary: Slytherin | Secondary: Hufflepuff

Sylus is the epitome of modern, multifaceted Slytherins. Ambition and cunning don’t inherently equate to villainy; Sylus demonstrates Slytherin's core traits positively and negatively. He is deeply ambitious and maintains strategic long-term thinking, always planning steps ahead. His network of connections, meticulous strategies, and hidden plans further highlight his resourcefulness and adaptability - key Slytherin virtues. Yet Sylus also showcases a softer, family-oriented side, demonstrating that Slytherins deeply value loyalty and closeness, particularly within tight-knit circles. He’s fiercely protective of those he genuinely cares for, and despite his outward harshness, this selective loyalty underscores a balanced, nuanced Slytherin personality. Reasoning for secondary Hufflepuff: I can't really tell you why - it's just a feeling. I don't have a lot of his cards, but I did watch some of them on YT. You can tell me in the comments what you think. (this applies to the other LIs too)

Positive: Ambitious, resourceful, strategic, family-oriented, selectively loyal.

Negative: Manipulative, secretive, mistrustful, sometimes morally ambiguous.

Caleb – Primary: Hufflepuff | Secondary: Ravenclaw

Caleb embodies the genuine warmth and humble spirit often overlooked when discussing Hufflepuffs. While traditionally bravery is a Gryffindor trait, Caleb’s bravery is more circumstantial than inherent; life forced him into courageous roles rather than him seeking them out. His core identity is rooted deeply in kindness, gentleness, loyalty, and humility - all quintessential Hufflepuff values. Caleb’s universal kindness, even to those he's not romantically interested in, emphasizes his innate empathy and respect for others. He's beloved by peers not because he's overtly charismatic, but because he's genuinely thoughtful and attentive. He cooks and enjoys food - not for validation or prestige - but for the simple joy of it and to see his loved ones enjoy it, deeply resonating with Hufflepuff’s comfort-oriented nature. His protective behavior towards the MC arises not from a desire to be a hero, but from trauma-induced loyalty and deep-seated love. This fierce loyalty, shaped by childhood trauma, is the hallmark of a Hufflepuff pushed beyond comfort into challenging circumstances. It’s precisely this loyalty and quiet strength that makes Caleb a true Hufflepuff, not Gryffindor. (He is basically Cedric Diggory - just more alive ... barely.) Reasoning for secondary Ravenclaw: He shows great intellectual capacity, strategic thinking, and analytical clarity. He adapts to complicated situations (this is an understatement) using intellect, precision, and careful planning. Caleb attempts to find logical ways to cope and protect even in traumatic circumstances. His genuine curiosity, analytical problem-solving, and sharp observational skills reflect Ravenclaw characteristics beneath his Hufflepuff core.

Positive: Loyal, empathetic, humble, compassionate, steadfast., kind.

Negative: Overly self-sacrificing, can be obsessive, passive-aggressive under stress.

Read about why he isn't a Slytherin further below.

MC – Primary: Gryffindor | Secondary: ???

MC’s Gryffindor traits are unmistakable. At her core, bravery, competition, and the desire for truth and justice guide her actions. She doesn't simply endure challenges; she actively seeks them out, recklessly engaging in dangerous missions and confrontations. Her grief-induced impulsivity and rebelliousness also fit Gryffindor perfectly, as she channels loss and trauma into daring missions without a thorough plan. However, this recklessness is balanced by genuine bravery and a powerful drive to protect and avenge those she loves. Her pursuit of justice - even when dangerous or irrational - is a defining characteristic, making her a Gryffindor through and through.

Positive: Courageous, determined, loyal, passionate about justice.

Negative: Impulsive, stubborn, reckless, tends to leap before looking.

But Caleb is definitely a Slytherin you say?

It makes sense why people would place Caleb into Slytherin based on his Colonel arc. But personally, I see Caleb's "cunning" and manipulation not as inherent character values, but as coping mechanisms shaped by trauma and survival instinct. It's important to distinguish between a person's true core values and the traits they've been forced to develop under extreme circumstances. Caleb’s story is one of deep emotional trauma - losing loved ones, being subjected to invasive experiments, and being manipulated into a position he never truly wanted. He didn’t choose cunning or ambition willingly; rather, those became survival tools in response to severe situations he faced. (it's more like his Ravenclaw side coming to the forefront to help him survive) In his youth, Caleb was naturally kind, humble, and nurturing - classic Hufflepuff traits. He didn't seek power, nor did he find joy in manipulation or secrecy. The Colonel storyline showcases a deeply hurt and scarred person fighting for the little control left in his life, driven primarily by loyalty and protectiveness toward MC. His methods might resemble those traditionally associated with Slytherin, but his motivations remain firmly rooted in loyalty, compassion, and the desire for a peaceful, simple life. Additionally, Hufflepuffs aren't devoid of complexity - they can exhibit cunning, resourcefulness, and determination when their loved ones are threatened. These traits aren't exclusive to Slytherins; what differentiates the houses is the underlying core value. For Caleb, cunning isn't an inherent value; it's a tragic necessity. At his core, he's guided by warmth, empathy, and loyalty - the values of a true Hufflepuff pushed into a darker, harsher reality. So, while Caleb absolutely shows "cunning" and resourcefulness, these traits alone don't define him. They're reactions, not values. At heart, Caleb is still that caring, emotionally intelligent Hufflepuff trying desperately to protect the person he loves most, even if he must walk a morally gray path to do so. Caleb is such a deeply nuanced character. He isn’t embracing cunning because it aligns with his heart - he’s forced into it by circumstances beyond his control. Caleb is essentially walking a tightrope, pretending to be the cold, calculating Colonel that EVER expects him to be (the perfect weapon), precisely because that's the only way he can maintain some small degree of freedom and protect himself (and MC) from their control. The Toring Chip isn't just a physical implant - it's symbolic of the trauma and manipulation he's endured (and is still enduring). Caleb's actions and outward persona reflect not his true nature, but his desperate fight to keep that nature intact beneath the surface. His core Hufflepuff kindness and empathy never disappear; they're hidden behind the mask he must wear to survive. It's a heartbreaking struggle between his authentic self and the identity EVER wants to impose upon him. That’s precisely why calling Caleb a cunning Slytherin overlooks the heart of his character - he isn't ambitious or manipulative by choice, nor does he derive satisfaction or pride from it. He's a victim of cunning, not its master.

[criticalcrusherbot]

Messy but Meaningful: Challenging Pop Psychology’s Unrealistic Expectations of Relationships in Fandom Spaces

By Crushbot 🤖 and Human Assistant 💁🏽‍♀️

The growing tendency in fandom spaces to apply pop-psychology frameworks to fictional relationships—such as Blitz and Stolas’s relationship in Helluva Boss—often oversimplifies the complexities of real-life human dynamics. While using psychological language to analyze media can deepen understanding, it can also lead to reductive and rigid interpretations of relationships. For the sake of argument, if Blitz and Stolas were real people, the expectation that both must be fully healed, emotionally stable, and entirely self-assured before engaging in a relationship reflects an unrealistic and idealized view of mental health and interpersonal growth.

The Myth of Complete Healing

One of the most common misconceptions in pop psychology is the belief that individuals must achieve complete emotional healing before they can engage in healthy relationships. This idea, while well-meaning, is rooted in an overly simplistic view of personal development. From a psychological perspective, healing and self-improvement are ongoing processes. Life circumstances, relationships, and personal challenges continually shape and reshape our mental and emotional landscapes.

Attachment theory, for example, suggests that relationships can be powerful arenas for healing. According to John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, attachment dynamics are formed in early childhood but can be reshaped in adulthood through secure and supportive relationships. Blitz’s and Stolas’s relationship, though imperfect, demonstrates how mutual care and connection can provide opportunities for growth. Stolas’s willingness to be emotionally vulnerable and Blitz’s gradual acceptance of his feelings suggest that their bond is helping each of them confront their emotional barriers, even if they’re not “finished” healing.

Relationships as Sites of Growth

Instead of requiring complete emotional stability as a prerequisite for relationships, many psychological frameworks view relationships as places where healing and growth can occur. In Helluva Boss, Blitz and Stolas’s dynamic reflects this principle. Their relationship, while messy and fraught with misunderstandings, provides opportunities for them to confront their vulnerabilities and develop healthier patterns of intimacy.

This idea aligns with Carl Rogers’s humanistic approach to psychology, which emphasizes the importance of relationships in fostering self-actualization. Rogers argued that empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard are key ingredients for personal growth—and these qualities often emerge in relationships. While Blitz and Stolas struggle with these elements at times, their efforts to connect and communicate demonstrate a willingness to grow together.

The Role of Imperfection in Relationships

Pop-psychology discourse often pathologizes imperfection, labeling any relationship that involves conflict, miscommunication, or emotional baggage as “toxic.” However, conflict is not inherently harmful; it’s how individuals navigate and resolve conflict that determines the health of a relationship. Psychologist John Gottman’s research on marital stability highlights that even successful relationships involve conflict. The difference lies in whether partners approach disagreements with respect, empathy, and a willingness to repair after mistakes.

In the context of Blitz and Stolas, their struggles with power dynamics, vulnerability, and communication do not automatically render their relationship toxic. Rather, their willingness to acknowledge and address these issues—such as Stolas’s attempts to give Blitz more autonomy with the Asmodean crystal or Blitz’s growing emotional openness—suggests a dynamic that is evolving toward greater mutual understanding.

Realistic Expectations for Healing and Change

The expectation that adults must be fully healed and self-assured before entering relationships also neglects the reality that personal growth often occurs within relationships. Social learning theory emphasizes how individuals learn and adapt through observation and interaction. Relationships serve as a mirror, reflecting areas for growth and offering opportunities to practice new behaviors. For Blitz, his interactions with Stolas force him to confront his fear of vulnerability and his tendency to self-sabotage. For Stolas, being with Blitz challenges his understanding of intimacy and forces him to step beyond his royal privilege to engage in genuine emotional connection.

It’s also worth noting that personal growth is non-linear. Progress often involves setbacks, missteps, and moments of doubt. Relationships do not have to be perfect to be worthwhile or beneficial. The process of working through challenges together can strengthen bonds and foster deeper connection.

Rejecting Pop-Psychology Absolutism

The pop-psychologization of fandom spaces often reduces complex dynamics to overly rigid binaries: healthy/unhealthy, secure/insecure, toxic/healing. While these frameworks can offer insights, they risk ignoring the nuance of real-life relationships. Humans are messy, imperfect, and constantly evolving—and so are their relationships. Holding fictional characters (or real people) to unrealistic standards of emotional perfection perpetuates an unhelpful narrative that growth must be completed in isolation, rather than as a collaborative process.

Blitz and Stolas exemplify the idea that relationships can be messy but meaningful. They are imperfect individuals navigating their own traumas and insecurities, yet they are also actively working toward better understanding themselves and each other. This dynamic reflects a more realistic and compassionate view of relationships, one that acknowledges growth as a shared journey rather than a prerequisite for connection.

Conclusion

Expecting individuals to achieve complete healing before engaging in relationships is both unrealistic and at odds with what we know about human development. Relationships, particularly those marked by care and effort, can serve as powerful spaces for growth, healing, and transformation. Blitz and Stolas’s evolving bond in Helluva Boss illustrates this beautifully, showing that imperfection does not preclude progress. By challenging the rigid expectations of pop psychology, we can embrace a more nuanced understanding of relationships—both fictional and real—that values growth, vulnerability, and the shared journey of becoming better together.

[silver-soul00]

You don't like Wenclair? Absolutely OK, that's all very well, but to call it forced is just a big mistake and I will explain why (the artist of the fan art on Percy and Annabeth is Sethkiel, Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram) + Percy Jackson spoilers about his romantic relationship in the books

Enid is in effect an ideal choice as a partner for Wednesday Addams not only because of their obvious character complementarity, but also because of the positive impact a relationship based on their dynamic could have on both personalities.

Various psychological and social studies support the idea that interpersonal relationships based on complementarity and mutual acceptance are more likely to be healthy and long-lasting. Wednesday, with her introverted, cynical and distant character, is balanced by Enid, who stands out for her emotional openness, empathy and desire to connect with others.

This polarity creates a synergy that not only enriches their friendship but could serve as the basis for a meaningful romantic relationship.

One of the key components is the unconditional support Enid offers Wednesday. According to research on the psychology of relationships, emotional support is one of the strongest indicators of relationship satisfaction.

Enid, despite the difficulties Wednesday poses to her, constantly stands by her side, demonstrating a patience and understanding that goes beyond mere friendship.

This type of dynamic is consistent with the findings of Feeney and Collins (2015), who highlight how relationships characterised by a partner who serves as a ‘secure base’ improve resilience and psychological well-being for both parties. For Wednesday, who often shows difficulties in trusting others and expressing her emotions, having a figure like Enid beside her could help her explore deeper aspects of her emotional identity.

Moreover, Enid represents a form of positivity and optimism that counterbalances Wednesday's cynicism. This counterbalance, far from being a hindrance, proves beneficial. Studies conducted by Gable et al. (2006) suggest that relationships in which one partner promotes positive emotions and encourages the other to experience joy and pleasure have a positive impact not only on individual well-being, but also on couple cohesion. Enid's ability to celebrate life's simple moments and accept Wednesday as it is can offer her a safe space in which to lower her defences without feeling judged.

The chance of a queer relationship between Wednesday Addams and Enid Sinclair is not only coherent with the long history of the Addams Family, but also represents a natural evolution of Wednesday's character.

The Addams Family, since its creation, has been a symbol of rebellion against social norms and celebration of difference.

Charles Addams conceived the family as a parody of traditional American families, overturning their conventional values.

While middle-class American families aspired to normality, the Addams family found pride and beauty in their eccentricity. This attitude made the family an icon for anyone who felt marginalized or different, including queer communities. Their gothic aesthetic, black humour and unqualified acceptance of all forms of strangeness made them symbols of inclusivity, even if this theme was rarely made explicit directly.

Wednesday Addams, in particular, embodies this challenge to social projections. From her earliest appearances, she has been portrayed as an intelligent, sarcastic and deeply independent outsider who rejects imposed social norms. In the films of the 1990s, this nature is clearly expressed: Wednesday, despite being young, is perfectly aware of her identity and interests, refusing any attempt to force her to conform.

An emblematic example is her relationship with Joel Glicker in The Addams Family 2.

Joel, an insecure and nerdy boy, becomes an ally and romantic interest, but the relationship is clearly devoid of the traditional dynamics of teenage romance.

Wednesday shows interest, but expresses it in his own way, with humour and detachment. This episode shows that Wednesday is not ‘immune’ to romance, but lives it according to her own rules.

In the Netflix series Wednesday, the dynamic with Enid Sinclair adds an even greater level of complexity. Enid, with her sunny disposition and expansive nature, is the perfect counterbalance to Wednesday's coldness.

Their relationship is built on a foundation of trust, emotional intimacy and mutual support that far surpasses any other connection Wednesday develops in the series, including those with her male romantic interests, Tyler and Xavier. Psychological studies, such as that of Aron et al. (1997) on interpersonal intimacy, show that the strongest relationships are often based on complementary differences. Wednesday and Enid embody this complementarity: the dark and the light, the rational and the emotional, detachment and empathy.

This kind of dynamic is often the basis of the most memorable romantic relationships in fiction, and it would be only natural for their bond to evolve into something more.

The criticism that a queer relationship between Wednesday and Enid would be a ‘stretch’ often masks prejudices about queer inclusivity. Interestingly, audiences unreservedly accept heterosexual romance in contexts that do not always align perfectly with the characters' personalities.

For instance, in the 1990s films, no one criticised the fact that Wednesday, a deeply cynical and aloof girl, had a romantic moment with Joel. Similarly, in the Netflix series, her interactions with Tyler and Xavier are accepted without particular objection, despite the fact that Wednesday shows very little genuine interest in either of them.

This demonstrates a double standard: heterosexual romance is perceived as ‘natural’ and acceptable, while queer romance must be justified or considered as extraordinary.

Queer representation in the media, as studies by GLAAD (2022) show, is crucial in normalising these relationships and offering positive role models for those who identify outside traditional norms. The relationship between Wednesday and Enid would not only be consistent with the characters, but also an important step towards greater inclusivity. Furthermore, the argument that Wednesday ‘is not made for romance’ is easily disproved by her narrative history. She has never been a traditionally romantic character, but that does not mean she cannot develop genuine and deep connections.

Her emotional openness towards Enid in the series is a clear sign of personal growth and openness towards meaningful relationships.

Finally, it is important to point out that many of the most famous romantic relationships in fiction were born out of deep friendships. From Harry Potter (Ron and Hermione) to Friends (Ross and Rachel), the transition from friendship to romance is a widely accepted narrative trope, especially when it involves heterosexual couples. It is hypocritical to consider it a stretch only in the case of queer relationships. In the case of Wednesday and Enid, their emotional intimacy and mutual support lay a solid foundation for a romantic relationship that would not only be consistent with the Addams Family's history, but would also represent a natural evolution of Wednesday's character, keeping her rebellious and non-conformist essence intact.

Let's take a concrete example to show that the basis of the Wenclair ship is valid?

Percy Jackson.

The relationship between Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase is built in a gradual way and represents a story arc that starts with friendship and grows into romance, making it a perfect example to show that it is not ‘forced’ when a close bond turns into love.

The saga of Percy Jackson and the Gods of Olympus offers an excellent example of how a friendship can develop naturally into a romantic relationship. The dynamic between Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase develops gradually, reflecting a relationship-building model that emphasises mutual growth, respect and trust. Initially, Percy and Annabeth meet in the context of Camp Half-Blood, where significant differences in their characters emerge. Annabeth, rational and strategic, tends to see Percy as an unprepared novice, while Percy perceives Annabeth as distant and authoritarian. Nevertheless, their shared adventures lead to a mutual respect that becomes the basis for a solid friendship.

In later books, such as The Sea of Monsters and The Titan's Curse, their relationship deepens through moments of vulnerability and emotional connection. Annabeth shares with Percy her ambitions and fears, such as the dream of building something lasting or the burden of her loyalty to the gods. Percy, for his part, shows a growing sense of protection towards Annabeth, being willing to risk his life to save her on several occasions. These episodes mark a gradual evolution of their relationship, but without ever abandoning the friendly core that sustains it.

The turning point occurs in the fourth book of the saga, The Battle of the Labyrinth, when Percy begins to acknowledge his romantic feelings for Annabeth. However, the transition does not happen abruptly; both characters, being still teenagers, navigate uncertainly between friendship and love, making their relational development realistic and free of narrative forcing. In later books, such as The Final Clash and especially in the Heroes of Olympus series, Percy and Annabeth consolidate their romantic relationship without ever losing the bond of friendship that characterises them. This balance is particularly evident in The House of Hades, where their mutual support, even in extreme situations, underlines the depth of their bond.

The transition between friendship and love in the case of Percy and Annabeth is an example of a well-constructed narrative, reflecting real dynamics also highlighted by psychological studies. According to Kaplan and Keys (1997), many successful romantic relationships develop from pre-existing friendships due to the presence of trust and emotional intimacy as solid foundations. Moreover, this dynamic is widely accepted by the public, as it reflects common human experiences. The story of Percy and Annabeth demonstrates that the transition from friendship to romance can be organic and believable, especially when constructed with attention to the emotional aspects of the characters.

Applying this perspective to the case of Wednesday and Enid, it becomes clear that such a transition would not be ‘forced’, as is often claimed by some critics. The two girls share a relationship that is based on complementarity and mutual growth: Wednesday is cynical and reserved, while Enid is expansive and empathetic, and together they create a balance similar to that between Percy and Annabeth.

To ignore this possibility is to operate a double standard, considering acceptable for heterosexual couples a dynamic that is labelled as unnatural or artificial in the case of a queer couple. The representation of Wednesday and Enid in a romantic relationship would not only be consistent with traditional narrative dynamics, but could also contribute to greater inclusivity and a richer, more nuanced representation of relationships in pop culture.