#brought to you by ^him

[breaking-news-the-aroace-has]

[bunnis-monsters]

Do y’all think peacock!hybrid bf has a massive praise kink?

I mean of course, when he spreads out his beautiful tail feathers in a display for you, he’s expecting some compliments.

When his cock is twitching and leaking, all pretty and pink for you, aren’t you going to tell him he’s just mesmerizing?

Or how about when he’s fucking into you, wanting so badly to breed his pretty mate… won’t you moan and tell him how good he feels inside you?

He tries so hard, keeping up a vigorous self care routine and always preening his feathers just for you. No one else’s opinion matters, he just wants you to adore him.

[autumndragon]

i love the idea that viggo's issue is that he's always overestimating the dragon riders and that's why he loses. other antagonists always underestimate them, they don't put in all the necessary precautions, which allows the riders to slip through, always throwing parties and gloating before the dragon is in the cage. but viggo?

my man takes so many precautions, his entire island is a war base, and yet, and YET the dragon riders got in by dyeing snotlout's hair blonde, giving him gucci boots and naming him sir ulgertorpe, SIR ULGERTORPE. viggo got catfished by snotlout with blonde hair. he's overestimating them so bad that the IDEA of them "just walking in" doesn't even come to mind. he's ready for fire and death to fall from the sky but a one-legged boy pulling a fast one on him breaks his fancy little english brain.

[prlssprfctn]

Cryptid!Alfred, who is actually immortal. Like, he cannot die for forever - he did once, during the war, and after that... for some reason, he kept coming back, completely without any additional magical help. He sometimes dies again, and then mysteriously comes back on the next morning, as if nothing happened. Bruce used to it at some point, so instead of asking questions (Alfred has no answers, anyway) he just pretends that it is normal. He gaslights kids to think the same. Like, what do you mean he died, Damian? No, he is alrightish. Look in the kitchen, he is making us breakfast. It probably was just a bad dream.

So, when Jason dies and gets back? Oh, Alfred knows his grandson has the same curse/blessing. Because it wasn't the Lazarus Pit that brought Jason back after all, but some strange, unexplainable force. Perhaps, both of them are just bound to end up as guardians, as warriors and protectors - that's why they keep coming back.

...Nevertheless, it doesn't make their family less... anxious about the whole thing. These two from the other side? Oh, they absolutely enjoy their immortal hang-out hours.

Jason: What was your funniest death?

Alfred: I am going to say... that one time, when I was teaching young master Bruce using a hunting rifle, and he accidentally shot me. I came back in fifteen minutes, and, of course, a poor thing was sobbing, but afterwards he was doing all chores for a month. Wonderful days.

Jason: Damn, poor Brucie... My funniest gotta be that one time, when Roy and I got drunk, and I legit jumped off the building because I thought I can fly. Roy had never got sober that quick.

(The first time Jason dies on the family's watch)

Dick, sobbing: Alfred... Alfred... He died! His neck was snapped! How can I live-

Alfred, casually leaning to snap Jason's neck again: Wake up, my boy.

Jason, dramatically gasping for air: Damn, who made me a massage, while I was sleeping?

Tim: What. The. Fuck.

[kelpeigh]

Something Doctor Who misses out on is how none of the companions are extremely interested with any one thing. All the companions are all “idk, I have a few ideas of stuff that’d be cool to see, but I’m up for whatever! All of space and time, woohoo! :)”

And that’s great for them and I know it makes for a better show overall but I think it would be more realistic for someone to say “I want to see every historically significant moment for my special interest, and then I want to double back for mundane bits too.”

I, for example, would be an insufferable companion.

I’d be like, “okay now take me to the place and time where they first used stirrups for the whole ride instead of just using them as a foothold to mount the horse. Then I want to watch Ray Hunt put a first ride on a colt. After that we’ll take a nap, and then let’s sneak onto set of the Return of the King to be extras in the Ride of the Rohirrim”

The Doctor would be all “please. This is the twentieth horse-centric stop in a row. We have all of space available to us. Can we leave Earth this time I’m begging you”

And my annoying ass would go “not unless there’s horses in space” roll credits

[somnoir]

Little star's favorite

It all started when Talia came to Gotham with a gift.

The gift in question was a twelve year old boy.

Bruce stared at the boy who was almost the exact replica of Damian if not for the blue eyes and longer hair. He looked utterly perplexed at the sight of Bruce, tilting his head before frowning at his mother with a visibly displeased look.

"Beloved, may I introduce you to Danyal, our Damian's twin brother. He was... Away... On a mission until recently." Talia hummed, a hand on Danyal's back.

"You... You didn't think to tell me about him when you told me about Damian?" Shutting his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked down at the boy who looked a little more like him than Talia and felt himself softening. "Hello Danyal."

"Hello."

Talia smiled, before her expression fell. "A little warning, beloved. The twins do not get along. Damian is quite the competitive child and Danyal... Well, he's the nicer one if I must say." She shrugged, running her fingers through her son's hair before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Go on now, Najmi As-Sagheer (my little star)."

"Ummi... Must I join them? I am perfectly fine with remaining in the league." Danyal muttered, eye twitching but his expression was quickly schooled into neutrality.

"Yes, Danyal." She sighed, "I have no intention of letting father keep you."

Bruce raised a brow at her words.

"That is a conversation for another time, habibi." Talia lazily insisted, gently pushing Danyal towards Bruce.

Bruce, for all he's lived, immediately recognized a feral cat in the form a child. Yep. Another Damian. That was seemingly the nicer one.

But he was scruffy little thing who was being called little star by his mother. Bruce blinked, offering his hand to Danyal (like how a person would do by letting a cat sniff his hand to see if they were safe).

Danyal, more twitchy and annoyed than his brother, looked at the hand like it had personally offended him.

And that is how Batman brought home another child while holding him by the scruff.

(Danny hated everyone except for Alfred—both cat and butler)

Danyal was a much quieter person compared to Damian. Unlike his brother who had practically came into their lives guns blazing and declaring that he was the rightful heir to the bat, Danyal mainly ignored them. He would glare, snarl, and scowl, but not in the way Damian did. The kid was obviously threatened by them, but more for his own safety rather than inheritance.

He avoided them like the plague, only welcoming the company of Alfred and occasionally Cass.

He didn't join in on the vigilante business, opting to stay back with Oracle and just quietly direct them on their missions. It was strange in all honesty.

They didn't know much about Danyal, aside from the fact that his mother called him little star for his natural love of space. That he liked to tinker with gadgets and make his own weapons. That he really liked fudge.

Aside from that, the kid was quiet and was usually hiding out in his room.

Tim wasn't particularly thrilled to have another demon brat in the family. He avoided Danyal as much as possible expecting for the boy to be just like his brother and attack him.

But apparently not.

It's one of those unfortunate times that Tim's sleep deprivation and overload on energy drinks gets him benched by Alfred and not Bruce. No one particularly wanted to argue with their beloved butler/grandpa so Tim was stuck in place. It was a much quieter night than usual, almost peaceful (as much as Gotham can get).

Babs was relieved of her duties to have a night off, rest and relax and such, while Tim manned the bat computer in Oracle's place. He almost didn't notice the mop of black hair that suddenly appeared beside him.

Tim didn't want to admit it, but he flinched at Danyal's presence and how he was quietly standing there with a tray of coffee and cookies. Blue eyes blinked at him, silently pushing the tray forward to offer Tim the lone cup (most likely for him) and the plate of cookies.

Suspicious, Tim narrowed his eyes. "Alfred wouldn't make me coffee after benching me for this kind of thing."

Danyal shrugged, "Made it myself. Thought you'd need it since the others will be gone for a while."

"That's poisoned."

"It's not." Danyal frowned, immediately taking the cup and taking a couple sips himself before once again offering it to Tim.

Now, Tim wasn't stupid enough to ignore the possibility of Danyal having some tolerance to poison. But Tim was also tolerant to a lot of poisons so might as well.

When taking one sip, he was already feeling weird. One, there was no poison. Two, it was actually pretty good.

Danyal just sat there and stared at the screen, munching on cookies and pointing at the screen whenever Robin started to stray from the patrol route. Tim had a lot of fun reportingtattling to Bruce about it.

Eventually, it became a routine.

Danyal always sat beside Tim. Quiet and just offering random stuff, either food, some little gadget he made, or just the most bizarre stuff he found while at school.

Tim learned many things about his weird little brother. How cameras go crazy around him. How he had his reasons for not being touched. How Danyal was more silent than Cass. How Danyal vanished and reappeared at times.

(The glowing green eyes were the most concerning.)

He never really took notice of how Danyal started to gravitate to him. Always with him, barely without.

(Tim refused to admit that he was just the same.)

"Can I go on patrol with you?" Danyal asked, tugging at his Red Robin suit with a curious look. "I wanna meet Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn."

And Tim didn't really see much of a problem with that. Danyal was a highly trained assassin that Ra's apparently trusted to go on a solo mission while Damian had to be whisked away from the league. It wasn't too absurd for Tim to just shrug and let his kid brother tag along.

He was also very sure that his baby brother was an eldritch being with how the shadows seemed to rise around him. Yeah, the baby was a cryptid amongst a family of supposed cryptids. Very fitting.

It's a nice night. With Danny running amok with Tim, clearly having fun. But that one looks of sadness didn't escape Tim when Danny paused and looked to the sky with longing.

Tim remembers how Danny rambled about the stars in their shared moments, where it's just them.

Tim remembers how Danny would describe the sky in Nanda Parbar and how he often snuck out just to see it.

Tim remembers how much his little brother likes space and turns to the cloudy sky of Gotham that hides the stars.

Tim remembers how he was often depraved of the brotherly love he wanted. How he didn't get the full experience of having an older brother.

"You okay, little star?"

Danyal snapped his head towards Tim, eyes blown wide and flashing green (he knows that wasn't normal but he ignores that in favor to the way Danyal visibly softens at the nickname).

"'m okay, akhi." Danyal muttered, following after Tim after adjusting his own hood.

And it's like his heart stops.

Yep.

Tim has had Danyal for barely a year and he was willing to throw hands with Ra's, Talia, and Bruce for him.

"C'mon, qalbi(my heart). Batburger's still open."

He barely noticed the shift after that. But others think it's a glaring change that often made them stop and stare.

Danyal went to Tim whenever he needed anything.

If Danyal wasn't in bed, you'd find him snuggled up to Tim.

Danyal hated it when people touched him... Except for Tim.

Danyal liked Tim the most.

The day Dick thought it was a good idea to call Danyal 'Danny' (a nickname that was only used by Tim and Alfred), he almost got stabbed. Well, that's where all the stabbiness went to.

Safe to say, Tim was Danny's favorite.

And Danny was Tim's.

"Drake! What have you done to my brother?!" Damian pointed a katana at Tim, who lazily glanced his way before turning back to Danny who was comfortably snuggled up to him and watching Blue while Tim scrolled on Tiktok.

"I haven't done anything to Danny, demon brat. Now shoo!" Tim's irritation could be heard from a mile away, shamelessly shooing Damian away with a flick of his wrist. Then the next second, he was combing his fingers through Danny's hair and listening to his younger brother make a purring noise.

(Another point of investigation because that is not fucking normal, Tim. Cute though!)

"I refuse to believe that Danyal would prefer you over me!"

"You're just salty that he stabs you like you stab me." Tim waved him off again, watching as Danny yawned and continued to ignore everyone else.

The click of a camera immediately alerts him and he's tugging Danny down before the much younger boy lunges at Dick.

"Woah! What's up with him?" Dick nervously asked, instinctively raising his phone above his head.

"Delete that!" Tim snarled, pulling Danny closer and guiding his brothers face to his shoulder. "You know he hates it when people take pictures without consent!"

(Tim doesn't tell them that something goes every wrong with the footage if Danny was ever in the picture.)

"Dick." Tim warned, effortlessly picking up Danny, because yes, his seemingly cryptid baby brother could become weightless, and snatched Dick's phone. Yep. Instead of Danny, there was a very strange figure, a glitching silhouette of black and green. He deletes it immediately.

Dick was pouring, "I don't have any pics of Danny—"

"Don't call me that, Richard." Danny scowled, clinging to Tim like a koala. He was strangely more child-like than Damian, muttering about annoying people who interrupted bonding time. (Dick was just forced to pout.)

"Danyal." Damian crossed his arms, scowling at Danny who was still comfortably cuddled up to Tim. "It is not appropriate to cling to Drake in such a way! You will embarrass our mother and father if you are seen acting like a petulant child!"

Tim wanted to argue that no, he wouldn't embarrass Talia and Bruce by being a kid, but Danny just grabbed a cookie from nowhere (note to self, add possible teleportation powers to cryptid baby) and shoved it into his mouth.

Danny just yawned, fixing Damian with a lazy glare.

"Tuhali, can you shut up?"

Damian stood stock still, while Jason and Bruce choked on their own spit. Jason slapping a hand over his mouth and Bruce just staring at his twins like the apocalypse was about to return.

"What did you just call me?"

Danny yawne again, "My spleen."

Tim knew what Tuhali meant. Of course he fucking knew Arabic! But to think that his cryptid baby brother was straight up calling Damian his spleen?

The spleen that Tim doesn't have.

The spleen that's important to the immune system but you can survive without it?

Tim grinned, grabbing his cryptid baby and made a run for it.

Yep.

Danny was definitely his favorite.

Credits to: @strangergraphics for the dividers used.

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

(Not) an approved use of the Power Of Friendship

[satoblue]

tw: memory loss, deception, love at first sight, obsession.

thinking about when satoru was a child and the first time he met you after managing to slip past his clan’s suffocating watch.

satoru had always thought the world he came from was too much. at least, for someone like him — someone who had the misfortune of being born with both the six eyes and limitless cursed techniques. seen as nothing but a weapon.

but you… he remembers the exact day he met you. the exact street he saw you sat at as you hummed to yourself, short legs kicking under the bench as you licked at a blue popsicle that turned your tongue the same color. and then, when you noticed him staring your way — or specifically, at the treat in your hand — you smiled at him. actually smiled — before offering him one from the cooler on that fateful summer day as well as your name.

he was never allowed sweets like this — pure sugar in his perfectly curated diet. he recalls the taste of it on his tongue even now — the taste of something new and wonderful. it had been his favorite ever since. and he recalls the way his tongue had also turned the same shade of blue and he had to hide it the whole time when he was eventually found and brought back to reality, wondering when it’d go away.

but he also wondered about you. how you didn’t give it to him bc of his name or status — but just because. bc you saw that he was any other kid just like you. and he never forgot it. bc you were the first.

sometimes, when satoru could, he’d try and go back to the same spot just to see you — but there was never any trace of you. so life moved on. he didn’t have the time to linger on it much. there was this huge burden thrust upon his shoulders since his birth — his duties. and then later on, there was the school, missions, and then eventually the students after he chose to become a teacher.

but even as the world demanded everything from him, he kept that memory tucked away in his head like a secret he visited every so often — a single moment of peace and warmth in his abnormal world. of what life could’ve been like if he weren’t born gojo satoru.

and then, years later, your name appears on a mission report — low priority, civilian casualty, and memory loss under suspicious conditions. he shouldn’t have even been reading the file — but he recognizes the first name of the girl he’s been thinking about for so long. he really just checked for the hell of it. you’re listed as a non sorcerer. no cursed energy and no connection to the world he is a part of. but when he sees the attached photo — his entire world stops. he’s never forgotten that face.

really, he almost convinces himself to leave it alone. almost. yet, the next moment — he finds himself at your bedside in the hospital, one hand stuffed in his pocket, the other nervously clutching a perfect bouquet of flowers (he wasn’t really sure why he brought them). both the sound of his foot tapping incessantly against the floor and his heart thudding in his chest are too loud in his ears.

the cursed energy from whatever hit you still lingers faintly around you — whatever did this was smart. but satoru is smarter. stronger. he’ll find out who or what took you from him. bc even if you don’t remember him — he remembers everything.

and when your eyes flutter open — those same eyes from years ago (a little older and still holding that same warmth he’s craved all his life and never found in anything else) — you look at him like he’s a stranger. and it guts him.

you ask, voice soft and unsure, “who are you?” and really, he wants to say he’s a sorcerer — wants to explain everything. he should keep you safe from his world, let you know of the dangers that lurk around the corner. but instead, the words tumble out like muscle memory: “i’m gojo satoru. i’m your husband. and you… you’re my wife.”

it is a lie — and yet, the truest thing he’s ever said. bc even if you don’t remember him… he’s been in love with you for half of his life. and fate — twisted and cruel and maybe merciful — has brought you back to him again.

[morganbritton132]

AU where Hopper adopted Steve as a child but no one knows about it because Steve and Hopper are both chronic under-sharers and no one asked specifically about it.

It’s not that Robin would care, right? She wouldn’t. It’s just that she would’ve liked to know so she didn’t spent their first month at Scoops Ahoy getting psych damage every time Steve used ‘Dad’ and ‘Hop’ interchangeably.

She mentions it to Dustin when they were stuck in the elevator together and Dustin shrugged like, “Yeah, he does that. Nancy said he did that before he even knew Hopper.”

“That’s…weird?”

“Yeah,” Dustin shrugs again. “Lucas thinks he does it as a joke even though it’s not funny. That would make sense since Steve’s not funny.”

Steve calling from atop the elevator, “I’m not what?”

“You’re not funny!”

“Dude, what are you talking about? I’m hilarious.”

The conversation slips away from there and Robin won’t actually learn why Steve calls Hopper dad for another three months. She can’t even be mad about it because, “Your dad died and you didn’t tell anybody?”

[allastoredeer]

Deer's shed the velvet on their antlers. Alastor is no exception.

Bonus! They also eat it and cannibal besties always share.

+Bonus: Bucks shed their velvet right before rutting season, so take from thar what you will

Follow up post ➡️HERE ⬅️

[breaking-news-the-aroace-has]

After a brief sexuality crisis, the aroace has remained firm in their identity while renewing their aesthetic appreciation of titties.

Broadcaster's note: There was supposed to be a pun with identity and iden-TITTY, but the aroace has butchered it, much to their disappointment :(

[lion-stitches]

He's just a little guy!!!

Based on this adorable post by @amorkuku

[yourlocalsurrealism]

So this low-key makes no sense but:

Bruce has a metagene. It is that any cape he wears has a pocket dimension. The robins have an uncontrollable urge to hide in it.

It doesn't even need to be a legitimate cape. He was playing superheroes with a besheet when he was seven, and he pulled a medieval battle axe out of it. The Wayne's have never owned a medieval battle axe. Alfred, Thomas and Martha were extremely confused and concerned about it's origins.

Yes, I know Bruce isn't a meta. But it'd be really funny if he was. Especially with such a specific, weird power. That's how he fits all the stuff in his cape.

Like, snacks, and weapons, and Tim swears that one time he saw him just make a whole motorcycle appear from it.

Dick was cold on patrol once, and Bruce opened his cape, and just thought nothing of the fact that Dick just disappeared into it, dismissed it as a result of a really heavy warm cape.

Dick found himself in a warm, cozy, dark place, and immediately decided to go there as much as possible. He then told Jason, who didn't believe him at first but then found himself in the pocket dimension and was like "fuck yeah this is awesome".

He didn't tell Tim, and Tim didn't feel as if he was allowed to ask Batman to hide under his cape even when he was cold, so it took several years of vigilante-ing before Tim figured it out.

Damian didn't really have any chances to hide in Bruce's cape before he was lost in time, the cape didn't work the same for dick, and by the time Bruce was back, Damian believed he was too old for such childish things as seeking shelter in his father's cape.

The robins just think that Bruce got his cape enchanted somehow, and just didn't care to tell them in typical Bruce fashion. Bruce has no idea about this and is just happy that his kids like him enough to feel comfortable with him during patrol.

[technically-human]

They're gonna use the extra income to buy fancy coffee

[duct-t4pescars]

bullets-era shitty bleached mohawk Frank makes me want to eat glass

[greencaprisun]

(kids faces are blurred for privacy)