#discourse-adjacent

[a-mel0n]

911 reddit might have redeemed itself. had a conversation with a buddie shipper about why we like our respective ships without hating on each other or the characters involved, and finished our conversation with a simple "damn this was really informative! thanks for sharing!" from both of us. is this what peace and love on planet earth feels like

[mewos-laptop]

Btw adding "oh, haha but not you" as an afterthought after saying "I hate men" to a trans man does not make us feel better. One, you clearly only added it to cover your ass in case we rightfully call you out on it, two, *that still implies to us that we're "outliers" among other men somehow* which is still transphobic, both to us for saying we're somehow ""less"" like men than other men, but also for saying that you want every other trans man to be killed, while knowing we share a community and could be friends with other trans men

(NOT TO MENTION THAT STATEMENT IS INHERENTLY RACIST AND ABLEIST. WANTING TO KILL DISABLED AND/OR MEN OF COLOR IS FUCKED UP AND NOT THE LEFTIST CLAIM YOU THINK IT IS)

[ferditheas]

I feel like a lot of people forget that Mercedes is 22 at the beginning of the game, and turns 23 after a month at Garreg Mach.

I'm 23 right now. Having to go to school with a bunch of teenagers sounds like an absolute nightmare. She is truly Serios's strongest soldier.

[voidfishing]

chaos theory detail I’ll never get over is Soyona keeping Red in her penthouse. that’s like the equivalent of keeping a German Shepard in a studio apartment

[sherlocking-out-loud]

Tim and Ryan could do the funniest thing: have Josh be in a car accident and be in a coma for a bit and when he wakes up he tells Maddie about the dream he had. cue a flashback where... we see Josh and Eddie having the most enthusiastic make out session ever, kissing, gropping, the works.

[twilightcitysky]

This post is less Good Omens- related and more personal, but there's been a lot of arguing over "representation" in the fandom the past few days. The strong feelings people express are awesome but ALSO I really want us in the community to appreciate and listen to one another.

People want to KILL queer people. There are still many, many places where it is not safe to have any identity other than cis het. Fighting that means sticking together, not tearing each OTHER apart. Allosexual, asexual, lesbian, gay, cis, trans, nonbinary, gender queer, GNC... we're all part of this community and we're stronger together.

In Good Omens, Neil Gaiman gave us a glimpse of what a world could be if people got to decide for themselves how to present and who to love without the hate and prejudice that inevitably comes along with that in the real world. I know people are questioning exactly what Crowley and Aziraphale are and how they identify, which is fine (honestly I don't know that we'll ever find out for sure. It may be something private between the two of them). But saying things like "it's homophobic" (for them to be ace), or "it's acephobic" (for them to be gay) sort of defeats the purpose of "it's a love story", doesn't it? At the end of the day, maybe it doesn't matter what EXACTLY they are. They're unapologetically QUEER and their story is for and about all of us.

It's okay to disagree. It's okay to ask questions. I mean, that's the moral of Good Omens, isn't it? We don't have to be the same; we SHOULDN'T all be the same... there's strength and beauty in our differences. But even if we don't all agree with one another, let's support each other.

I see them as gay male coded beings who have chosen that identity for themselves and would enjoy sexual pleasure as much as any other earthly pleasure. If YOU see them as agender or nonbinary sexless entities who are QPR or ace or aroace and would never have sex, I SUPPORT THE HELL OUT OF YOUR RIGHT TO DO SO. I'm in your corner and I will fight for you.

Love you all. Love that we love the ineffable love story of Good Omens, whatever form that takes, and let's lift each other up rather than tearing each other down.

[a-polite-melody]

People insisting, “no matter what, transandrophobia theory always leads you to hating women/trans women,” with no ability to actually prove this beyond circular logic and cherry picking

is no different from people insisting that the idea of aphobia existing necessarily is homophobic and transphobic, with no ability to actually prove this beyond circular logic and cherry picking

and no different from people insisting that the idea of biphobia existing necessarily is homophobic, with no ability to actually prove this beyond circular logic and cherry picking

and is no different from people insisting that the idea of nonbinary people/exorsexism existing necessarily is transphobic, with no ability to actually prove this beyond circular logic and cherry picking.

We keep doing this because there are people who will always balk at the idea that they could ever possibly be participating in the oppression of another group of people if they’re also oppressed within a similar axis.

To go back to the aspec discourse example: the perpetuators of these discourses will say that LGBT people can’t oppress aspecs—LGBT people are oppressed for their orientation or gender so they can’t oppress that way.

But of course, that doesn’t mean there can’t be an oppressive force you perpetuate against them. But to these people who keep perpetuating these discourses it should mean that because you see them using “I’m x I can’t be x-phobic” all the time.

Point that out and you always end up in, “okay but my group is more oppressed than the out-group we’re discoursing about,” territory. Which is useless, because it’s the same argument. They can’t perpetuate that thing you’re saying that they can perpetuate. Because they’re too oppressed to be able to. Which isn’t how it works.

And they make assumptions about how our theory must function based on that same viewpoint they have. Our theory must be insisting that the out-group we’re discoursing about can’t perpetuate oppression against these other groups if we can perpetuate oppression against them. When that’s not how the majority of us are discussing the topic. But they insist that’s what we’re trying to say. Because that’s how they think about oppression.

Anyway. I’m just tired. It’s all the same and I so want to be done with it all because it’s so obviously the same.

(And it is amazingly funny to me that someone saw that they were perpetuating this whole thing and said, “ah yes, my pet theory, this is so big brained of me that I employ circular logic (which when someone describes out how circular logic works I recognize that as what I’m doing) just with a new fancy word I’ve given it; that it’s working on you proves I’m right.”)

[starryoak]

As someone raised by atheists and only exposed to Christianity through stuff like Veggietales, to this day I still can’t intellectually wrap my mind about a genuine belief in religion, as in actually believing any of that shit actually happened. Like. Literally all of the major events described in almost every religion is stuff that factually cannot have happened if you understand almost any science or even just the fact that nothing like that ever has any evidence it can happen now. And people just. Politely ignore that fact? Like I understand that to a lot of people religion is about community and rituals and not so much the actual texts, but like. The fact that magic isn’t real is entirely undeniable. Most everything in the holy texts of most major religions is stuff that we know from how science works doesn’t exist and can’t have happened. And that for some reason doesn’t bother people? They just. Believe in it anyway? I can’t understand that perspective. To me, something being true is actually important, and the fact that religions say that things that aren’t real exist says that they aren’t reliable sources for basing my understanding of the world on. Again, I understand that most people don’t think about that, that religion is primarily about social cohesion and tradition and rituals and not about whether it’s literally true or not. But that perspective is just incredibly alien to me. It’s just weird, that most people can apparently just. Politely ignore that science has completely invalidated nearly everything religion says is true, and still for some reason believe in it anyway.

[mirefireflies]

i hate this account i’m sorry. duh he abused her so did louis so did armand and relationships can be complicated delainey herself said that claudia looked to lestat in this moment because he’s her father and she was scared.

[inchidentally]

sometimes I see the originals of these quotes that enrage fandom into discourse and I’m so lost as to the journey it takes like he literally called a tiny principality that combines very old traditionalism/royalty/locals living very different lifestyles to other residents with casinos/modernism/tax haven dystopian bc it is ?? and in a similar way Charles said that it’s a strange place for locals because when there’s no events or out of season it feels like a small village but when the season comes in it’s like a major metropolitan place

and Oscar also called himself out that he chooses to live there so it’s ironic for him to say that - he specifically said he’s no different and has chosen to be another driver who moved there

and like it’s okay if someone just wants to hate someone and they hate everything the person says period bc fair enough I respect the haterism !

and I only even post about this bc for intended super serious discourse I’m truly lost w this one in particular ! he specifically didn’t say he’s a different kind of millionaire or make a huge socioeconomic commentary and before I knew this had people incensed I was like it’s rare for one of these guys to bring up how they all move there for one very specific reason and are courted to do so ahshdjfbjdndn most of them don’t like pointing it out/having it pointed out I’m genuinely so lost ??

[cdd-safe-haven]

A history of trauma can make peace feel like boredom

I'm bored.

Are you bored?

Maybe you're unsettled, unsure, anxious, or irritable

Maybe sometimes it feels like boredom

Why?

My entire life I searched for peace and calm, and I've always been told that happiness will follow it

So why am I unsatisfied?

Dr. Nicole LePera said this:

When leaving trauma cycles, expect to be bored. That’s a good sign. You’re leaving the cycle of emotion addiction:

When we’re used to cycles of chronic stress, drama, and overwhelm, we get stuck in fight or flight. Cortisol and adrenaline are a constant in the body.

We subconsciously seek this environment to feel alive or “like ourselves”.

...

When the body is coming out of chronic nervous system dysregulation, there is a transition phase. No longer getting constant spikes of cortisol we might feel bored, restless, or irritated.

Boredom is healthy. It does take some getting used to. You’ll be surprised at how much you subconsciously feel a pull towards emotional activation.

...

We have not evolved to be in cycles of chronic stress that never end.

It will be unfamiliar, at first. Soon, it will feel like peace.

Many trauma survivors report a vague sense of emptiness and boredom when they are not angry, under duress, or involved in activities that activate emotional responses. Reexposure to trauma is known to act as a pain reliever, equivalent to 8mg of morphine.

We crave the release of dopamine and endorphins that follow stress, something we're used to and understand-- something that makes us feel alive and active

The question then becomes,

Are there healthy ways to engage with activities that give you that "kick"?

I'd like to think there are.

Mindfulness, attention to the people in your close inner circles, and frequent breaks are just a few small steps.

Does anyone have any tips or stories? Maybe another perspective?

[fourspiceblend]

Man I love Dimitri to death but it will always piss me off how he's allowed to heal during the actual story and become sympathetic to the audience once again while Rhea doesn't get the same privilege even though their stories are basically the same, everyone loves it when the young troubled man gets a redemption arc and gains back everything they lost but when it's an old hag whose trauma isn't easily digestible and who doesn't cry pathetically over being rejected by the player she doesn't get the same privilege and she either unceremoniously dies offscreen or her healing is relegated to an ending story blurb. I love how intsys treats women!!!

[youngerfrankenstein]

Look. It is 2025 and therefore WAAAAAAAY too late to still be complaining about the FE3H fandom. BUT.

The fact we got a game about an emotionally stunted person, who grew and changed and came out of their shell by interacting with others and learned they had a knack for helping people grow, who learned more about the world they were a part of in a year than their previously isolated existence, who found meaning in leadership and guidance roles, and who ultimately saved a continent no matter the route.

The one in which they are the main character and end up in a leadership role over said continent, where they can help the most people and get to stay in the first place they could call home.

“Well they’re unqualified.” “It’s unfair to them.” “Why?! What do they hope to achieve?” “They should just go back to aimless wandering and killing, it would be better for them.” “It’s dumb and they don’t know what they’re doing.”

Like were you paying attention at all???

[thegodstheycall]

The gods will meet you where you are. Through highs and lows, pride and humility, beginnings and ends. Just be open and honest and vulnerable, and they will meet you where you are.

[vro0m]

You have weeks of winter break and it's always the last one that is the worst in all aspects

[bdafic]

Have you played Veilguard? Do you plan to?

If yes, what is your opinion on how Solas and solavellan was handled? :)

I did! I actually posted about it, encouraging people not to read reviews and posts and just play the game for them. I chose not to go into any depth other than I liked it. I'm cool with going into it now, though I want to make really clear to anyone reading that I have zero interest in seeing, inviting, or participating in the "everything must be criticized hard and moralized" discourse. The level of hostility around this game is off the charts and I'm super not into it.

(I am very into being hostile as fuck about layoffs, crunch, and execs sabotaging projects, setting impossible "goals" and whipping up anger to justify dissolving studios though. We can do that all day.)

Anyway, back to your question.

Overall, my feelings on how Solas/Solavellan was done mirrors my feelings on the game as a whole: I loved 85% of it, and the other 15% I didn't so much 'not love' as much as I wished it could've been more. That last 15% felt like being a kid finding out there's a whole other floor of your house you've never explored, and once you finally get all prepped to go spelunking you find it in the midst of being demolished. All those little tantalizing peeks you got are gone or waved off like "you can make do with what you have". Technically that's true. You've got a nice house that's pretty and isn't falling apart and everything connects and has all the right things in it... but you can't help being really sad for the loss of experiences you could've had on the mystery floor.

I loved all the insight we got into the history of the Evanuris, ancient elves, and Solas himself. It confirmed a bunch of theories I'd discussed with others for years -- and that felt awesome! I love it when fans are rewarded for noticing the details and putting shit together. (If you're also into that, go watch Severance). There's so much of what we saw in his memories and experiences that deepen the sense of sadness and loss in his character. It made people who hate him, hate him more, and people who love him, sympathize with him more. I think he's honestly one of the most well-written characters I've ever encountered in any media, anywhere, and not just because I'm a sucker for beautiful tragedy.

I'm happy they didn't shy away from Solas' edges, either. I'd predicted Varric's death at his hands during The Missing's run, though I thought it'd play out differently. I think that and the war crimes were good additions to his story. It reinforced his position as an antivillain to the series. Solas is a living, breathing, 'sunk cost fallacy' of a man. He (almost) says it himself: to stop now would make all the horrible things he'd done be for nothing. He has to keep going.

He was Wisdom, twisted into Pride. He wants to still be Wisdom. It's how he sees himself, though he's smart enough to know it isn't true deep down. The planning, the arrogance, the failures, the devotion, they're all aspects of that change. Of course he keeps failing. Of course he keeps trying. And of course falling in love without any of that being known would absolutely caboodle his noodle. One of the things that first drew me was realizing how much of him was only revealed upon romancing. It makes a ton of sense for his character, and gave him a depth and longing that was incredibly compelling. A character who lays it out for everyone regardless is just an NPC, but that made him feel like a person. It speaks to his loneliness; how badly he wants someone to find a way to change his mind, and how resigned he is to the belief that nobody can. Wisdom and Pride.

I'm very pleased that a Solavellan ending even exists, because that's a pretty big nod to fandom and the impact of his character. Of course I'd have loved to see more -- Solavellan hell is eternal and I'll never escape -- but I can be happy with what we got. And I understand why it felt truncated.

(And honestly, my biggest complaint with Lavellan's inclusion is that we cannot modify her appearance later if we fucked it up. My kingdom for her eyeballs to've worked properly in my first run.)

I am a bit sad about how 'well' a lot of it got wrapped up, not just because of the loss of mystery, but because it's pretty clear that was a reflection of the (rather prescient) fears from devs/writers about the future of the franchise. The game's impact and mood suffered from that sense of impending doom. Edges were shaved off, things glossed over, middles discarded so threads could be tied up neater, and that probably really sucked for the people who have lived and breathed this world for the better part of 20 years. It needed more time. Chill time. And freedom to fuck about. People say that audiences don't like it when things end on an uncertain note, and honestly after seeing the discourse this produced as is I'm gonna say that the things I personally wished were included would've probably started much bigger fires and resulted in much more smoke. (People like to jump in here with, "it was going for ten years" but that's kind of disingenuous. It was ten years between releases. The game was scrapped twice and the final iteration was only going for three-ish, and writers and devs kept getting fucking laid off.)

Anyway, there's a lot of stuff it's clear they wanted to go into more and simply weren't able to. That isn't their fault, and I grieve with them. People forget the writers were the original spelunkers. They're also people who have to roll with punches in a way that fans never, ever, have to.

That was a lot of words to say, basically, that I think Solavellan and Solas' story were handled well, and I'm satisfied. I wish there was more -- I'll always mourn whatever was on the mystery floor -- but that's what fanfic is for. It's in our hands now.