#i like the theory that they needed this time apart to understand 1. how to function without one another after 6000 yrs of being together

[darlingeames]

i'm sorry to repeat something crowley has said but how can someone as brilliant as aziraphale be so stupid about the things that matter

[defrosted69]

A line Hook to you

(Danielle Marsh x Male Reader)

A/N: Its been a long time but here's something to you guys. Enjoy!

Note: 7k words

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“The invisible string theory is the idea that the universe itself is stitched together with unseen threads, all of which lead us to our destinies.”

You sighed as you finally clocked out of work with your back aching with a pocking pain. Working on heavy machinery for a good 9 hour shift isn't really ideal for you body who's used to be so athletic and is used in locomotive motion. But time just keeps on going forward, not backward so changes will be applied in life. And before you know it, from writing and sleeping at the back of the class to having to deal in fixing heavy engines and inspecting them everyday to make sure they work properly.

"Why the long face? Come, The old guys are going for a drink tonight. You should come with Y/N"

A pat on the shoulder made you sighed as you heard his voice. Despite this heavy loaded schedule and work you had, there was always a friend that keeps you laughing and knows to make your frown upside down and uplift your spirits.

"Ah I'll pass this one Sunoo. Since tomorrow is Sunday, I'll enjoy my 1 day break"

"Oh Bummer. But I understand since I'll pass with them as well."

"Huh? How come?"

"The last time I joined them, they cause a ruckus in a bar. Remember how our pay got cutted because Boss preety much used our checks to pay up their damage."

You chuckled remembering that fragment of your memory like it was yesterday. It was quite funny because despite how Sunoo claim they are, they were actually great seniors to you. When you were still new to the company, they knew you lacked experience when it comes to the actual field so they were open to teaching you stuff you were confused with. And the funny thing is here is that you were above them when it comes to terms relating to work.

Cause you see, the seniors are all mechanics and car parts specialists but you on the other hand are their supervisor. You graduated in college with a degree in Mechanical Engineering and it wasn't that long when you landed a job in this medium sized delivery company. Of course they were first surprised to see that their supervisor was new and unexperienced but you gained their respect when you had to show them on solving a problem in the Pistons of the engine.

Pistons are one thing to fix but to make adjustments on the fly and make the engine working twice as powerful as before made their jaw at Awe. If most of of them before didn't believe in geniuses, we'll you just debunked their belief.

But since then, you had a good relationship with all of them and you got more wisdom from them since most of them are family oriented now and others have unique experiences that preety much makes you amazed and inspired by them.

"Well where you heading too then Sunoo?"

"Duh I'm gonna watch my Drama. That's the only reason why I have Netflix."

"Right. I completely forgot about that."

Kim Sunoo was your very loyal and emotional friend. Everyone in the company knows he's the golden retriever of the bunch since he's just all smiles especially most of the times. But don't let that distract you that he's one of the best employees the company has. Despite only finishing highschool, he worked hard to understand how the engine works and he had to prove everyone why he's also one of a kind. Despite the two of you being born in the same year, Sunoo has more experience and knowledge when it comes to the company and working experience.

But he is also an open armed person meaning he's not afraid to help you whenever you were need. There was a time your window in the apartment got cracked because of a storm, and you couldn't go to work. Sunoo came after the storm passing with tools for replacing windows and he actually gave you a free window without even costing you any expenses at all. All he wants was to see you at work since it's been a while since he's had someone his age to talk too.

"Well enjoy your stranger things drama or whatever it is. I'll see You at work on Monday man."

"Yeah Man see you in Monday."

He waved you goodbye as he went on the opposite of your direction of where you were going. The night was very chilly and the sky was clear as the day. Looking up, the moon was shining brightly with its stars twinkling next to it creating a perfect harmony in the sky. You were used to walking to your apartment since it's usually just 15 minute walk from home and you could admire the beauty of the building around and scenery.

But something had to ruin the beauty of what your eyes admire as couples walk past you showing their affection to their love one as if the sidewalk was their hallway to act all flirty with each other. You had no objection to people being extra PDA with each other since you'll be getting a good show but it just throw you off.

Perhaps since you've never had a female in your life, you've become the bitter old man who gets angry when youngsters and couples exhibit their love in front of you. It seemed like salt was thrown at you, as the cosmos is continuously reminding you of how lonely you are in this world. So taking deep breath, you decided to take a small detour and feed your stomach a bit after all, you didn't have proper lunch since the company cafeteria is serving nothing but sandwiches and energy drinks. And you were never a fan of energy drink especially after that small incident you had when you drinked an energy drink despite only having 2 hours sleep.

You really though you were gonna die when your heart felt heavy and you started breathing heavily. Luckily for you, that attack only lasted for 5 seconds before everything returned to normal but you were glad it didn't lead to something worse.

So after taking a detour of going to your favorite ramen shop, your stomach grumbled one more time reminding you to eat already or you might faint from starvation. Entering the place, there wasn't much people around since it was night time already which you preferred more than a jam packed day time. So ordering your usual bowl, you took your food to your favorite spot, near the window side on a single chair.

That place has hold a significant place in your heart because ever since Highschool that seat has always been your spot admiring the sunset, the cars, the people but more importantly, it's because that solo space gave you sanctuary to the problems of life.

So anticipating it to be unoccupied, you froze when your eyes saw a woman with a smirk showing how proud she was in her position as she spoke.

"I knew you would be here. The Invisible string really is true!"

You were confused at to what she was saying yet she smiled and stood up and immediately taking over your personal space as she got close to you with her eyes glittering like stars.

"I meant to say is that fate us brought us here together. Because I need your signature right here"

She pointed with her pen a piece of paper in a clipboard which had a few signature of some people as well but, it was smudged and the paper looked like it was dried from air after being soaked in water.

"Is this paper dried up?"

"Ohh eer… Dont mind that. Just sign it please. For my extra credit in college. Pleeese Mr. Pleeeese."

She began begging you like a wild Woman as other people anf some staff look at the two of you weirdly. Thier Stares somewhat made you feel embarrassed of her so without even hesitation, you signed whatever was in that clipboard hoping to end this already. Once you wrote down your signature and name, she smiled brightly and giggled cutely.

"Thank you Mr. I'm sure I'll see you again in the sidewalk. See you next week again. Bye bye Mister~"

She happily waved at you and giggled her way away of the restaurant leaving you perplexed and with so many questions than answers.

"Who the heck is she?"

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Danielle extended her arms out and giggled joyfully as the sun caressed her face. She was overjoyed once again since she would finally receive additional credit for her completed assignment. That signature from last night was what she needed the most since she was finally able to obtain 100 signatures on her paper, which wasn't easy given the time constraint their professor had set. 5 days to get 100 signatures isn't as easy as it seems. So she was pleased to receive her final signature from someone she knows well.

After doing her usual morning routines, Danielle smiled happily as she leaves her dorm with a sense of happiness amd joy filling her body right now. The sky was clear and the air was perfect for her for a walk so with that she did. She began walking to her university humming her favorite song along the way. The common sidewalk that she has been walking was so colorful in her eyes right now and everything was so just blooming.

"What a wonderful day to eh mate?"

She asked herself as she giggled to herself. Yet among the busy people walking tbe familiar sidewalk, her eyes were looking for a guy who she was very thankful since the first day of her college days. As she keeps looking for that man, from a far and from someone's perspective, she looked like a mole appearing in and out of the crowd of people trying to look for you.

That's right, there was a reason why she waited for you at that restaurant last night although it was mostly just her guess and it was completely coincidental that the events unfolded that night. Never in a million years would she would have known that the stars aligned just to answer her wish to make her last signature poetic. She betted on herself that someone special will sign the last space on her paper and boy was she right.

At the very last second, just when she just admitted that everything isn't a fairy tale and her stupid brain admitted that ideal scenarios will come to reality was a slap and a wake up call for her. But you pulled at the very last second and helped her once again. Just remembering the first interaction you had with her made her blush and squeal in delight which earned a few confused and weird looks from the people.

"Shit. I'm public I forgot.."

Danielle giggled as she continued her walk to university. Although she didn't see you today, she understands that you would have left your place earlier considering your a working adult and she's just a college student yet, in her eyes and brain, she's as equal to your status in society which further more pushes her agenda that the invisible string theory exist. Because there must be some kind of connection in which you would be a part of her huge life. After all, Your first encounter with her was during her first time being in the city.

Being a college student means that you have to choose a college to go to and unfortunately for her, her desired course was far away from her city and her family. And of course, that sucks and is hard to understand but Danielle knew that this was a huge chapter of her life and as much as she didn't want to get away from the hugs of her parents, she had to let go of the meantime and travel to an another city with no friends, no nothing at her silos disposals.

She was starting at level 0 where everything had reseted for her but that didn't stopped her to be productive and she continued to encourage herself everyday that what she's doing is the best for her family and for herself. Life may be hard but you have to got an iron will to keep up with the waves of life and keep on moving forward with a stronger resolve to finish college.

Now is where her first encounter with you was. She wasn't sure if you had remember it but you were the guy who picked up her wallet when she had dropped it on the sidewalk where you and her were usually walking. Although she was to be blamed of why she had let go of her wallet because, she choose to admire than to keep her valuable in check within her reach. Honestly, the moment she realized her wallet was gone from her elbow immediately made her feel a cold shiver down her neck.

Everything she needs in collage allowances was in that wallet filling with bank cards and IDs for her to use in public to identifying her. But more importantly she didn't want a handful of earing coming from her sister about her losing her Wallet. But as soon as she turned around, you stood there returning her wallet back at her.

There was this weird trait for Danielle in where she remembers the people's face of those who showed her kindness so it wasn't such a suprise why she would remember you but if she recalled your reaction the other night, she knew she fucked up big time and leaving a good impression of her.

"Gaahh! Why did I spew that nonsense infront of him!"

Daneille ruffled her hair in embarrassment and irritation from herself for acting like a complete fool to the person…

She might have caught feelings for.

In Danielle's defense for this such claims is that she is attracted to people who shows her kindness even if it's just a small one. So despite meeting you before, Her total times of meeting you was 3 times in total considering the other night. Since the guys who were nice to her was absolutely no one. She was often mocked for being an aussie or her accent was made off back in middle school. They weren't that rampant back in high school yet as time moves forward, that claims are now reversed.

"Morning Dani. Did we sleep well?"

Lily Morrow asked her friend who wore a bright proud smile as she walks with Danielle to campus. Hearing her voice snapped her in her characther emission fantasy about which you were glad because everyone in school would know how much of an idiot she is sometimes.

"I slept well. I'm sure I'll get my credit today hehe."

Danielle smiled brightly as the two of then catches up their weekend drama as Danielle happily explained to Lily what she felt during that time as Lily was on full mode listening to every details eh spoke out off. But as soon as that was done, Danielle proceed to the teachers office as Lily went to attend her class. Danielle carefully knocked before entering the room where her professor was waiting for her.

"Ah Ms. Marsh. I assume you brought in your task I have given you?"

"Yes sir."

Danielle pulled out her clipboard along with it was the signed paper yet it didn't take 10 seconds, her progress was returned to her. And that slowly made her confidence shatter into millions of pieces.

"I'm sorry Ms. Marsh but I can't accept this paper."

"But sir, I completed the 100 signatures under 5 days."

Her professor sighed as He knew this was the reaction of Danielle once he rejected her paper. It's not that like her report was not significant to her course but what irks him, was how obvious that her paper had gotten wet or soaked to be more exact.

"I know Ms. Marsh but you gotta understand. Your already in your 3rd year and yet you can't understand simple instructions. I had given you a clean paper to work on and you returned it to me like a wet Wipes dried up?"

"But sir-"

"I don't wanna hear it but I'll give you on last chance to get that extra credit you want."

Danielle was now in full effect to listening to her professor because she needs to pass this subject without enrolling it next semester. It would be such a waste of time and year of she didn't take college seriously.

" I'm gonna give you another paper but this time it's only 75 person BUT, I need you to pass this in Wednesday."

Danielle widen her eyes knowing that getting 75 signatures in 3 days isn't gonna be easy since her college schedule for this semester was absolute trash. But if it means to pass this subject she would do it. So Danielle accepted it and he handed her a new copy. She thanked him as once she leaves the room, Danielle let out a frustrated groan from her as her task was easy enough yet hard to execute.

Although she still has 2 days to work on it and she could easily fill in that 75 person mark, the requirement for that is people outside of the campus and not students. She wouldn't break a sweat if it was just students since it would be very easy. But for strangers? It might be very difficult for her considering that she doesn't know strangers at all and sometimes they could have intentions and very bad at one.

"What do I do?"

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The sun was slowly shining down as you clocked out earlier today. It was quite a suprise for everyone when the boss announced that today would be an early work off day since he had something to do. It was very odd since Mondays are usually a busy day at the company with a lot of the trucks being used as transport for its services. But if it means more time for you to relax and sleep in your bed.

Yes, the bed is your best place to relax and just forget about the reality of things especially in the adult world. Rest is the most important factor because it's an escape for you from all the troubles of society and life itself.

Upon changing into your casual wear, Sunoo got your attention once again as he smiled at you.

"Whats your plan now? It's still quite early."

"Bed."

"Why? You wanna watch porn or something?"

"Nah I just love sleeping."

Sunoo nodded his head in understanding but you can tell from his body language that he was itching to tell you something so not wanting to make him look like a fool anymore, you decide to break his bubble.

"What? What are you trying to tell me?"

Sunoo chuckled in embarrassment as he got caught by your keen observation but then again, that's what makes you stand out from the rest of the guys working in the company and its the reason why your his supervisor. Your eyes always managed to observe every small detail and remembers them which leads to new adjustment and improvement of the engine. And mind you, it's no ordinary engine, it's a truck engine. Those who big and carry a lot of horse power.

"Well you see. My friend hooked me up and he said we need a third player and I was thinking you-"

"Pass."

"Okay."

Sunoo gave up now. Once you set your decision on one thing it means you wouldn't change your perspective on that decision. And he knows your not into relationship as of the moment as far as he knows. But that thought made him question you.

"Say Y/N, why don't you go on a date now? I mean your finished in college right? You have a good job now so why not right?"

"I don't think I'm ready for it. The responsibility of taking care of someone is a Challange especially since I can't even take care of myself."

Although the real reason why you don't want a girlfriend right now is because you thought you don't deserve to be loved after all, one rejection back in the past really pushed you way back into not stepping into the world of romance. The pain of rejection and seeing that girl choose the wrong girl will never be not funny and painful for you.

"I guess your right. But there's nothing wrong in at least trying something new right?"

"It's not new to me, I already have been in that position before."

"Then why stop at one and live a life of repeating cycle when you can add new things in your cycle of life."

You wanted to speak up but you decided to take in what Sunoo said. There was no hint of any lies in his words as they were all pointing at you about your daily life. Yes it was a repeating cycle of sleep-work-eat-repeat and that's it. Nothing was really getting in between your daily cycle of life which was kinda boring in a sense.

But boring life is what you have been accustomed to and somewhat that's what you like to live in. But is that all there is in your life now since your really crossing the late 20s now. At the age of 25 where many people get married and have a family, your still wondering what your life's purpose is. As you walk the familiar street towards you apartment, the question still lingered on your head.

What do you really wanna do?

A simple question yet it has so many possible wrong answers depending on how you read into it. For you, you definetly have no proper answer at all to that question because you yourself was finding that purpose since College and even now, that you have a proper job, that question still lingering on your mind and time wasn't helping you since people your age have already figured out their path in life. Yet for you, you were still trying to pick up the pieces together and look for that glue that connects everything together yet, you couldn't find it.

Sighing was the only response you could get out of your problem but your bubble of thoughts were popped open when you heard a soft voice of sobbing and sniffing from someone. Of course your not that person to mind someone's business but when your eyes landed on the side and saw a familiar girl with her head down, back reciprocating in a deep breathing motion, and her hands cover her eyes. You just sighed at the scene.

Your legs wanted to keep moving forward and ignore her but the voice of Sunoo once again entered your brain. Will you be stuck to mediocrity forever in your life? Will you never cross that path of change that is really needed in your life right now?

"You alright Miss?"

Taking a huge step forward, you kneel down on her level and what you saw is something you didn't know would happen. Danielle literally looked at you with tears and snott coming out of her nose as if she just had the biggest heartbreak of her life. Her mascara was all smudge down on her eyes and it was preety disastrous seeing her Iike this. But one part of you wanted to laugh at her face right now but you took every ounce of your spiritual being not to laugh at her and try to understand her situation.

"M-Mister? The guy from the ramen restaurant? The one I always see in this sidewalk?"

"Yeah but how come I have many nicknames?"

Danielle sat up as you handed her your handkerchief thinking she would wipe her tears away but no, she used it to blow off the snot she had and that made you froze up. She cleaned her nose and felt her cheeks blushing red mad after realizing what she has done.

"Oh no I didn't mean to make your handkerchief all disgusting. I'll.. Umm.. I'll wash it for you."

Danielle began to panic as she didn't know what she would do since she didn't want to look like a complete fool to you after all. You saw the panic in her eyes which was a little puffy from all her crying. After snapping out of your shocked state, you shook your head.

"No need. It's fine, I mean handkerchief are used for wiping stuff anyway."

"Naur but still. I'll wash it for you. As an Aussie, I promise to make it smelling like a jasmine flower."

"You don't have too."

"Naur I'll-"

GRUMBLE

A large lion roared in her belly and as you look at Danielle's face, the color red slowly took over her face as she looked away covering her face and groaning in embarrassment. There's was no way this day could have gotten worse in Danielle's books but it just got worst. The last on her list is to embarrass herself to someone she looks up and this was a sign that today wasn't her day.

You chuckled at her stomach and your laugher was the hidden laughter that you have been keeping since earlier after seeing her face. Danielle immediately looked back at you with a glare which you immediately stopped your laughing but her glaring and with a few tears was amusing to look at. Maybe a little to adorable in your book.

"Stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry the timing was just to perfect. I'm sorry."

But despite your words, you still couldn't control your laughing and this only made Danielle form more tears in her eyes and seeing her glaring while her lips quivering being mad, embarrassed and sad made you shut up at your action.

"Okay I'll stop. Sorry"

You were genuinely apologizing for your action yet Danielle continued to pout glaring at you trying to intimidate you which is failing exponentially because all this is doing is letting you see an adorable Australian pout cutely at you because she doesn't know how to get mad to people. Knowing that she won't stop pouting and glaring at you, you had to take an action to this one.

"Alright. Let's get something to eat instead so your stomach doesn't roar anymore and perhaps we can talk there about what bothering you. Is that fine with you?"

Danielle didn't reply to you but nodded her head. So taking that as her answer you stood up from the bench with Danielle trailing behind you. Honestly speaking, most people would have just ignored her or to be exact, Danielle should be calling for the police or be at least questioning your true intentions to her but no she didn't. And that though in turns question you why Danielle, trust a stranger like you because as far as you can remember, you don't know her at all except the other night where you first met her, in that restaurant.

But as you were thinking about Danielle, She was silently wiping her makeup and adding new ones. She pulled out her lip tint and applied it on her lips by a small portion. Next she made sure her eyelashes stand out and adding a few blush and powder on her face was the final touch. Using her phone camera as her mirror, she smirked seeing how preety she is as she knows she needs to look preety infront of you right now. Because we don't know when will be the next time you two will meet like this.

Upon arriving at the Restaurant you ordered your favorite meal as you turned back to ask her about her dish.

"So What do you want-"

You got cut off by your own words as Danielle looked nothing like what you saw earlier. Infront of you was a beautiful woman who shined bright as the sun. Her sweet smile was so warm and her headband was the icing on the top as you stood there not knowing what to say next.

"Hmm? I'll have what you have hehe."

She smiled and turned her to the side which really made you stare at her for a good while before the cashier snapped you out of your trance. You order two of what you were having as you paid and choose a seat for the two of you. Unlike before, when you would just sit alone in your favorite place, you have to look for a new place since you have company.

"Let's sit there."

You looked at her a bit shocked because the place she picked for the two of you to sit was where you always sit. Danielle grabbed an extra chair and sat opposite to you smiling happily. It felt weird having to share a seat with someone when you were usually alone in that seat. But nevertheless, you sat down as well on your favorite seat.

"So what made you like a mess earlier?"

You spoke up first trying to break the ice between you two as Danielle spoke up.

"Ugh just my signature getting rejected"

"Huh. Was it that the paper I signed the other night soaked?"

"Hehehe."

Danielle scratched the back of her head guilty of what she did as you sighed and Chuckled a bit. No wonder you found the quality of the paper before weird. It was soaked the dried up quickly.

"So what are you doing now?"

"Well now I have to do another one. But only 75 people signature this time and it's due on Wednesday"

"Oh so your boss needs it?"

"Boss? Naur my professer need it."

"Naur? You australian?"

"Yeet."

You smiled by her energetic response as the two of you shared a laughter together. This was quite a surprise for you because unlike a few of those times when meeting a new person, it was always about business and there was no feeling or sense of friendship that could brew between yet with Danielle, there was no such thing like that. It felt like you have known her since you were in highschool. An old friend kind of vibe.

"Can I see those papers miss…"

"Danielle! Danielle Marsh. 22 years old, college student studying management… And hopefully the one you call baby girl.."

Danielle mumbled the last part and you didn't even get a whip of what she said in the last line because Danielle quickly showed her the papers in which your attention went through.

True to her words, it did need 75 signature from strangers and somehow you felt bad for her knowing she had limited time to do this task. Then a light bulb of an idea popped into your head but will you really take that risk of getting out of your comfort zone to help someone?

Once again, the words of Sunoo echoed in your head making you choose the light bulb of your idea. It will be risky but at this point, you just trusted your guts and went with it.

"I'll help you out. By tomorrow afternoon this should be all signed up."

Danielle gasped covering her mouth with her hands as she couldn't believe your making a move on her. As crazy as it sounds, to Danielle's checklist, this was her first strike that the guy was perfect for her. Of course you didn't know this as you read her expression as shocked but what you didn't know was that she gasped because she thought you were making a move on her by helping her.

"R-Really? You'll help me?"

"Yeah sure since my last signature was wasted. I want it this time to be for good use."

"Oh thank you so much.. Err…"

"Y/N. Just call me Y/N"

"Thank you Y/N."

Out of nowhere, Danielle stood up and hugged you with her face deep in your chest. That action made your heart race so fast as you were sure Danielle could hear it. You were about to push her away when a sudden calmness washed over you when you saw Danielle looking up to you sweetly. It really felt weird seeing someone like her keep you so calm and relaxed without even trying. Add in her cute smile and eyes that see your reflection.

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True to your words, you managed to get 75 signature from everyone in the company. You even got your boss to sign because Sunoo told everyone a fake lie. Sunoo must have heard it wrong but in reality, he heard it correctly. You were trying to help Danielle with her signature and he began spreading the word that you helping your secret girlfriend in college and everyone ended up signing it so fast to the point your boss even gave you his blessing.

Of course this made you a little annoyed how they signed it just to show their support for you but that also makes you happy that the people your working with was supportive of you. And perhaps it could also be a sign they want you to have a girlfriend already. So since you already have Danielle's contact on your phone you called her and not even a second in she already answered it in a heartbeat.

You told her that you'll be meeting her in the bench on the familiar sidewalk to which she agreed upon. So as the time to leave for work had arrive, you excused yourself to leave early which your boss was all okay about it. So you left work not even realizing your still wearing your work polo with the logo of your company on it. You sat there waiting for Danielle and it didn't take long before Danielle arrived.

Her bright smile once again shined as you couldn't get enough of her smiling beauty.

"Heyya Y/N, you look like a hard working man hehe~"

You blushed in embarrassment realizing that you were still in your work polo as you chuckled about it. Usually you would just brush off the compliment but when it comes to Danielle, somehow those compliments hit your heart in a bullseye accuracy.

"Oh.. Umm thanks Danielle. Ah right, here's the paper"

You handed her her project and truth be told, you did keep your promise as Danielle look so shocked and happy upon seeing the Paper filled with signatures.

"You really did do it! Thank you so much!!"

Danielle leaped unto you forcing you to catch her in your arms as she hugged you tightly. You were already blushing because this is the second time you hugged her and it felt so right to have her in your arms. She giggled as she buried her face on your chest and you really didn't want to let her go but it would very awkward to just keep on hugging her this long. So as you were letting her go, Danielle felt your arms getting loose so she hugged you tighter hoping you would get the signal that she didn't want you to let her go. She didn't care if she wanted to be clingy, because she IS clingy.

"Who said you can let go? Hmph! Meanie.."

Danielle looked up at you with a pout as you chuckled and sigh as you decided to hug her again. And just like that, Danielle was once again happy.

"I need to repay you somehow Y/N."

"You don't have to Danielle It's fine."

"Naur it's not. You helped me alot. I know, I'll make you lunch from now on and you can't say Naur okay?"

"But-"

She placed a finger on your mouth shutting you up as she giggled and smiled.

"Please? Preety pleaseeee?"

"Well I guess that wouldn't hurt."

"Yeet!"

Danielle giggled as she once again buried her face on your chest and at this point, you were getting accustomed to her Being a clingy girl and a sweet sunshine.

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Waking up to get to work again wasn't something new you to yet this time it felt more postive in a sense your actually eager to work today. There was that postive aura around you right now and you couldn't help but smile as you looked at yourself in the mirror looking alright. You checked your watch as you stepped out of the door, only to be greeted by ms. Sunshine.

"Morning Y/N. I made you lunch as I promised hehehe~"

Danielle was holding a packed lunch but what caught your eye was her wearing an apron in her clothes and it looked like she just went to a slug fest with so many stains all over her apron. You felt a huge burning sensation growing up your cheeks as you felt embarrassed and happy by her gesture.

"You didn't have too Danielle. I told you I don't-"

Danielle got up close to you placing a finger up your mouth shutting you up as she giggled and puffed her cheeks.

"I told you didn't I? I promised to make you lunch until then. So just please accept it."

Knowing that she went through hell to make you a lunch box and it shows in her apron and in her hands because there are 4 bandaids in her fingers which she was trying to hide under the lunch box. Seeing her and the fact she mafe effort for you just show how serious she is when it comes to keeping her word so you accepted it. And boy the way your fingers brushed against her, Danielle's cheeks burned red and her heart rushed so fast.

"Thanks Danielle. I'm sure I'll enjoy it."

"Hehehe~ Goodluck at work today."

She waved goodbye at you waved back and walked towards your workplace. As you walk your mind couldn't believe that you actually got a free lunch and you didn't have to suffer from the horrible lunch at work and not to disrespect the lunch lady there, but the food they are serving their are so limited and so small. Yes it's delicious but the portion is so small your stomach would be asking for more. So having a packed lunch from someone isn't just a good reason to avoid the cafeteria at work but it also means that someone cares for you.

And immediately that thought made you smile a little and blush as you couldn't believe your own thoughts.

"Gosh what are you doing to me Danielle."

As you look at the packed lunch you saw a sticky note on the top of the cover that says

"You need a lot of vitamin ME"

Which made you chuckle in amusement by her Witty jokes and it was the perfect quote to start the day ahead of you. And this continued on as Danielle continued to make you lunch every morning with witty jokes which are subtle hints of her feelings for you such as the quotes like:

"I am yours, No refund"

"You must be a camera because you make me smile"

"You know it's hard to find a girl who's so smart, cute, preety and top it all, an aussie. So don't Lose me got it mate?"

And there is one quote which really was your favorite of them all as it says:

"Don't you look away, don't pass me by Anything you want, babe, tell me what do you need"

Danielle knew that sending that quote was risky but she was ready to risk it all for you and when you read that quote your heart raced and a huge blush appear on your face. You usually sit away from the crowd in the cafeteria since you got lunch from Danielle and you didn't want to make any rumors about your life and you didn't want anyone to know about Danielle. Except for one guy.

"Gotcha you bastard. Who packed you lunch huh?"

Sunoo finally caught gist of you as you usually spend lunch with him so when you started to isolate from him, he began to raise an eyebrow and this only made him more believe that your doing something fishy which he believes is related to your relationship status. And he could be right.

"Wh-what are you talking about?"

"Don't lie, you can't cook shit. So who made you lunch? Your girlfriend?"

"I don't have a-"

"Or perhaps your dating someone?"

"I don't-"

"You like her don't you?"

"I…. I….. Yeah.. I think I have fallen for Danielle"

"Wait.. Wait so you DO have someone?!"

Sunoo couldn't believe it. His theory was proven right and your walls just crumbled and it was all Danielle's fault. She broke that protective wall of yours that you kept away from romance yet Danielle, pushed through and got it broken down. Her efforts didn't go in vain because you noticed it upon yourself too.

"So the reason you work so hard and happy was because of her dude?"

"Am I really showing happiness at work?"

"Duh. You have been more brighter for the past few weeks compared to the last few months or even when you started here. You were so non chalant and bland yet now, you seem to be shining brightly."

Danielle's bright personality has finally rubbed into you as you couldn't believe the postive impact she has brought upon you and to others.

"But what if she hates me or-"

"Dude, she made you lunch just once?"

"No she's been making me lunch for the past few weeks."

"Fucking marry her and don't ever let her go dipshit."

Sunoo shook you as he said this and you decided to take his words once again. Danielle has nothing but sweet and a ball of sunshine for you. Your usual cycle of repeating boring process has come to an end with Danielle now in that mix. Everyday seems so enjoyable now and you look forward to it more than before.

But are you really ready to take that risk to love again? Will it finally clicked this time and wouldn't end in vain? This questions has been running rampant on your mind as the day goes by. The moment you clocked out of work, you saw the sunset setting and you took in all what have happened for the past few weeks and there you already found your answer.

Just as the universe seems to be setting you up, you got a messaged from Danielle that says,

"I made you dinner. I made too much earlier Lol"

The perfect scenario was upon you and a sudden hit of nostalgia rushed in your mind making you smile a little but instead of leaving in pain, you were optimistic something good was gonna happen so you rushed out of the company wearing your suit and the winds pass you by.

Danielle on the other hand was patiently waiting infront of your door with a bowl and a sticky note which was her last. Because today she was gonna do it. She had consoled Lily about today and it was the day of confession. Her heart couldn't keep it in anymore as it just screams your name everytime she sees you or everytime she makes you lunch. She needs to let her heart speak now and that last sticky note is the last one that speaks her heart.

But she didn't have to wait long as you walked up the stairs and there she stood and as if she was in a painting, the sunset behind her gave her the perfect complimentary to her beauty as ger white Capri sun dress and twin tails just makes so picture perfect. You Stared at her in Awe for a couple of seconds before walking up to her quite nervous and scared. Scared that history may repeat itself again.

"Hey Danielle. That's a huge pot."

"Oh right sorry I made too much earlier. Hehehe."

Her sweet smile really got you smiling and attracted to her and you wished this girl would be in your arms right now. But how will you pull the trigger on what you wanted to say? Anxiety was slowly beginning to creep up to you and it makes you so-

"Ah, I have one last note for you Y/N."

"Last note?"

Danielle nodded and that made you feel so sad and devastated. It felt like the ride was about to end with her and you would go back to your usual boring repetitive cycle. Danielle turned the cover of the pot with the note that says..

"Baby your my special one, cause you're the one I like"

Danielle stared right straight into your eyes not wanting you break eye contact because tonight was gonna be big for her. Her heart was racing quick and her hands were sweating but she took one deep breath as she let her heart do the talking.

"Y/N. You have been such a great person to me. You have helped me a lot of times now and I really am thankful for that. I thought I was crazy at first but I didn't expect that the person I fell in love with was within my view all this time."

You stayed silent listening to her as your heart was pounding so fast.

"We walk the same sidewalk everyday yet before I wasn't aware of you but ever since I saw you, my eyes was all locked in you. Because in that sea of people, I only have my eyes set on you."

"So before I… Before we have our… Meal.. Which I hope is not the last time we see each other because I don't want to make things awkward.. Umm.. I.. I.. I just wanna say-"

"Yeah I fell for you too Danielle. A lot."

"I love you-Wait what?"

You stunned Danielle so fast her eyes went so wide like the sunset as you chuckled at her reaction. Hearing her words was enough to confirm that your heart and her heart screamed the same song called love.

"My life has always been a repeating a cycle but I thought that was enough for me. Until you came into my life and change that. Everyday I See a reason to keep me smiling and motivated to work because you, you Danielle make my world so bright."

Danielle just stared at you with the most loving look as if she was ready to melt under your touch and you decided to do just that. You cup her cheeks and kissed her forehead and said the words that stopped Danielle.

"I love you Danielle."

As soon as those words was spoken Danielle placed the pot on the floor let and hugged you tightly and began bombarding your cheeks with kisses.

"You don't know how much I was holding myself to not kiss your cheeks. Now I can kiss you as much as I can. Hehe~"

You laughed whole heartedly as you let Danielle kiss your cheeks so much as you really felt the love coming from her. Despite having a painful memory of heartbreak, Danielle was the reminder that change is the only permanent thing in the world. But more importantly, Love wins all.

"You know my co-workers will be shocked that your in college."

"Naur they won't. Besides, My friends will be proud I have such a working adult boyfriend. Who will understand my craziness."

"Oh believe me, I have seen more crazier things Danielle."

"Prove it to me babe. Hehe~"

With a smirk, you carried Danielle, princess style making her blush and laugh as you two entered your apartment but aside from being so happy where the strings between you two has finally connected, the pot of food was left outside.

.

.

.

[rubikswriter]

Heavy is the crown - a Caitlyn Kiramman character analysis.

(Tumblr really messed the formatting up on this, and it’s like 15k so there’s no way I’m editing it again - check my Twitter RubiksGaming12 to read it in it’s correctly formatted form)

I’ll preface this by saying that I have no prior knowledge of LoL lore, but I’m a big fan of angsty, nuanced characters, and that’s why I want to talk about Caitlyn Kiramman.

I’m sure this has all been talked to death in the fandom, but from my brief time in it, I can see a lot of varying - although mostly negative - views on Caitlyn. Especially in season 2. Caitlyn, however, is a character who has swiftly made her way onto my favourites list and I feel the overwhelming need to wax poetically about her. 

I love a character that’s been consumed by darkness in some way and attempts to find their way back; from Darth Vader, to Xena, to Villanelle. I love all the shades of grey these characters bring; that not every act of good is seen in absolute glowing white and every negative in pure darkness. To me this teetering on the line in between is what makes for such rich characters to experience, explore, and devour.

I’ll start by saying that one of my favourite things about Arcane is how it doesn’t hold your hand the entire time. It’s not always direct, slammed in your face, explanation. It asks you to pay attention; to look, and listen, and think. It wants you to make the connections, to see the use of lighting, of revisiting environments, of the connection to the music/score. It wants you to question. 

Would we all have liked more episodes? Hell yes. However, I think the show does a wonderful job with Cait’s character arc within time/ep restraints it had. 

With that said, if you hold negative views on Caitlyn, my thoughts on this definitely won’t interest you in the slightest. You’ll keep your opinion, and I’ll keep mine. Art is subjective after all. But if you want to share thoughts and opinions and discuss openly, then please do. I love hearing and delving into all theories.

So with that said, let’s break my thoughts down —

Caitlyn is a Kiramman; a member of an influential house in Piltover. Her family's reputation precedes them, especially with her mother on the council. I think it’s safe to say that with such a privileged upbringing, when we meet Caitlyn in Season 1, it’s obvious that she has been sheltered from the depth and reality of the systemic divide between Piltover and Zaun, and just how oppressed the Zaunites really are. 

But there’s more to Caitlyn than her just being another mere, blindly accepting member of the Piltover elite. In fact the show hints that it's a direct result of her elite heritage, that Caitlyn grows into such an ambitious, confident, woman who has an unwavering, determined, drive to prove herself on her own merits rather than just on the coattails of her family name.

We see her kindness shown in her friendship with Jayce, a man older than her and sponsored by her parents, a person considered below her on the social ladder, and yet he’s her one true friend. She’s interested in his ideas, has concern and fondness for him. It presents Caitlyn as someone who goes against the grain of what’s expected of her, her curiosity of wanting to know and understand more than just the high society she’s part of is evident. It’s something that we see that sets her apart from the majority of her peers who are content with their lives and have no desire to question it.

I believe it’s her ambitious drive and her natural, kind curiosity that sets up the basis for her arc in Season 1. 

We see her commitment to her marksmanship in the flashback, she’s damn good at the skill she’s worked hard to hone, and yet we see Cait questioning her own merit when Grayson appears to let her win. Her first thought is ‘did my parents pay you to let me win?’ which is such a sombre reality. Has this happened before? It appears that even from a young age the weight of the name Kiramman is something that’s been weighing Cait down. A burden of expectation and equally a privileged advantage, even when it’s perhaps not deserved or wanted.

When Grayson says she let Cait win not because her parents paid her, but because she thought Cait deserved it, it validates Caitlyn in a way not many people do. Especially when Grayson is more skilled and less privileged than her. She tells Caitlyn that she doesn’t need to win, that protecting the people is the reward in itself. I think this interaction further unlocks and propels Caitlyn’s desire to earn respect rather than have it given to her because of her name.

So when Grayson asks her ‘what are you shooting for?’ I think Caitlyn is finally able to give herself the luxury and agency to decide to want more for herself than what is simply expected, and to go after that, no matter what people think. Her parents included.

That scene with Grayson, I felt, was vital in seeing, at least partly, why Caitlyn becomes an enforcer. It gives her a sense of purpose outside of the family ties. Something that’s just hers. Something she can achieve and be proud of, and something she can outwardly present amongst the community she lives in. She holds firm in her resolve and assurance that she’s made the right choice for herself even when her mother tries to keep her safe by limiting her work, and when her peers snigger mockingly at her that she should be at the cocktail party rather than guarding it.

After Jinx’s attack and her removal from the enforcers at her mother’s request, we see Caitlyn become even more solidified in her self belief. While she may be a little idealistic and naive to the wider workings of the world, Caitlyn proves she’s an intelligent, kind, empathetic person, and has a fire in her for seeking justice and protecting people. She genuinely seems to want to make a difference, and I think that’s why she fixates on the investigation of corruption in Piltover and how deeply connected that is to Zaun and its underworld. It’s another chance to prove herself to those that don’t truly see her as more than the Kiramman name.

This is obviously driven further when she meets Vi and has her released to help facilitate her investigation. Having Vi be her guide through the Undercity allows Cait to have her eyes opened to a different perspective than her own, and challenges Topside’s preconceptions about bottom. It’s seeing through Vi’s eyes that enlightens Cait to Zaun’s true struggles and drives her desire to want to help and advocate for Zaun further. While realising at the same time that the Piltover Caitlyn thinks she knows is equally corrupt in parts (Marcus’ betrayal highlighting this). 

It’s through Vi’s eyes, through her struggles, through their developing trust and connection that we the viewer can recognise that Caitlyn is meant to represent the moral compass of the show in S1 — She’s the one that gets us, the audience, to also question what Cait thinks she knows, versus the reality of what she’s now learnt (Silco, shimmer, Marcus, Jinx, Ekko and the firelights); that there is no good and bad, only shades of grey between the twin cities.

In understanding Caitlyn as the character we get introduced to in season 1, I think it’s really important to understand that it’s Caitlyn’s privilege that gives her the knowledge and position to try to drive a change forward. But it’s her character outside of her privilege; her kindness, her empathy, her risk taking and her willingness to challenge rules and ideals that makes her the right choice to help. Vi and Ekko aren’t trusting just any Piltie to help them, they’re trusting Caitlyn because of all that she exudes and stands for. It's unknown to Vi and Ekko at that time that Caitlyn is a Kiramman, or the weight that name holds. Caitlyn never divulges that about herself, instead she mentions Jayce, her friends being on the council. But we the audience know that it’s her family name that gives Caitlyn immediate access to her mother and the council where others - like Vi, Ekko, and the other Zaunites - would not have such a chance. 

We see, through her relationship with Vi, that Caitlyn doesn’t use her privilege to overshadow Vi and the Zaunties' struggles. She moves the pieces into place because she has the entitlement to do so. She lets Violet be the mouthpiece for herself and the Undercity’s struggles when addressing the council, showing that she sees Vi and the Zaunites as equals.

When Caitlyn’s mother is introduced to us, we understand that she’s not a big fan of Caitlyn essentially lowering the family name by becoming an enforcer, and that she purposely interfered in Caitlyn’s work to protect her; moving her to stand guard at her tent, and having Cait dismissed from the enforcers after the initial Jinx attack. However, Cassandra Kiramman clearly loves her daughter and after hearing how passionate she is, listening to Caitlyn outline the failings of the council she sits on, she schedules the councillors for Cait and Vi to talk with.

‘You’re a councillor’s daughter, your actions reflect on the entire body,’

‘You know what else reflects on the council? Its citizens living on the streets, being poisoned, having to choose between a kingpin who wants to exploit them and a government that doesn’t give a shit.’

We can see in this exchange just how much Caitlyn has grown from episode 1-8, and I could talk so much more about her growing relationship with Vi in season 1, but I think we all can agree that Vi grounds Caitlyn. She shows Caitlyn a world she hadn’t ever truly seen or understood. Vi challenges her in ways Caitlyn has never been challenged before, and she sees Caitlyn as she is; as simply Cait. Something that nobody else does. The fact that Caitlyn is a Kiramman is an afterthought, something Vi only learns later on when Caitlyn insists she can help with Zaun’s plight. 

Even when Caitlyn fails to achieve what they want from the council she remains determined to try again, but it’s Vi that walks away. It’s Vi that can only see how to do things one way and knows that she has to leave Caitlyn behind to do it. Vi, I feel, is essentially protecting Caitlyn from something she knows Caitlyn doesn’t fully understand and never can simply because of their separate birthrights. She will never really be able to understand that oppression, and Vi is too afraid/guilty to relinquish what little control she has left when it comes to Jinx.

Caitlyn acts in the council meeting according to the hierarchy she grew up in, something that Vi doesn’t have the luxury to indulge in. That’s why she walks away and goes to Jayce. Vi needs to take things into her own hands to try and save her sister and deal with Silco, she chooses the undercity way and leaves Caitlyn to mull over the topside approach. Vi’s own guilt gives her a heavy burden of responsibility that she can’t let go of.

We see after their separation that Caitlyn isn’t content with Topside’s action, or inaction, she’s frustrated with the lack of doing nothing but not doing enough. We see this when she’s in the shower thinking of Vi; her image represents what Caitlyn wants to fight for, what she can’t let go of now. A better life for them all. I truly believe that Caitlyn, with her dogged determination, would have tried again and again and again to help Vi with Jinx and Silco, and would have found a way to persuade the council to help the Undercity heal. It’s the first real indication we get that Vi has become one of Caitlyn’s biggest strengths, but will also become one of Caitlyn’s biggest weaknesses, as we see at the end of Season 1.

This all pieces together when Jinx foils Caitlyn’s plans to try and help and kidnaps her. Instead of Caitlyn working towards finding a balanced, diplomatic, solution that will benefit Piltover/Zaun and bridge the divide, we get Caitlyn receiving a nice dose of trauma; Jinx threatening her life and blowing up the council tower. Topped with the crushing burden of conflict and guilt; having the shot on Jinx but not being able to take it due to her loyalty and affection for Vi. 

It’s this event and every moment that happens during it that shapes the foundation of Caitlyn’s arc for season 2. 

——

We start season 2 with the consequences of the actions of season 1. Jinx is free and Caitlyn’s mother was killed along with some of the other councillors thanks to Jinx’s attack. This is already an intolerable pill for Caitlyn to swallow, knowing that not only did she have the shot on Jinx that could have prevented her mother’s death, but I’m sure Mel makes it known to her that she and the council were voting in favour of Zaun having independence. 

As such Season 2 is rich with character development for Caitlyn, and I think the best way I can share my thoughts on it is to break it down into her development journey per act.

Alongside looking at the events/effects of each act on Caitlyn’s character I want to focus on the three faces Cait claims to haunt her in S2E1; her mother (whose memory is manipulated by Ambessa), Jinx, and Vi. I believe that individually these three characters are the driving force behind Caitlyn’s descent to darkness and also her light back to the good woman we know Caitlyn Kiramman is at her core. 

Let’s start with Ambessa since I feel like her role is critical to Caitlyn’s moral downfall. However, in order to fully understand Caitlyn’s descent into darkness in season 2 I believe it’s vital to understand Ambessa, her motives, and her role in manipulating Caitlyn for her own gain.

So let’s jump back a second and look at Ambessa before we dissect season 2:

In season 1 Ambessa arrives in Piltover under the false pretense of visiting her estranged daughter Mel - who we all know is a wealthy and powerful

Councillor in the city - and confides in Mel about her brother, Kino’s death. It seems Ambessa feels responsible for her son's death, and that she’s certain those responsible for his death will continue to seek revenge upon the Medarda’s and Noxus. 

This brings us to the real reason for Ambessa’s visit. Having grown aware of Piltover’s progress with Hextech, Ambessa sees the opportunity to create and use Hextech weaponry to protect her family and thwart any threat to her people. Essentially, Ambessa begins her game of manipulation early in season 1 by hoping to convince Mel to engage in war with the Undercity using the weaponised Hextech to squash the conflict. Ambessa sees these two cities and the tensions between them as a testing ground for Hextech weapons, and a chance to grab power, which luckily Mel sees through and prevents.

With Mel not being so easily manipulated, aware of her mother’s warmongering ways, Ambessa quickly changes strategies and attempts to manoeuvre Hextech’s creator, Jayce, into weaponizing the technology. While Jayce refuses at first, Vi tempts him further, and together they take Hextech weapons into the Undercity with the goal of attacking Silco’s shimmer factories, only for Jayce to end up accidentally killing a child working in one. This immediately stops Jayce and ruins Ambessa’s second attempt at manipulation to mass weaponise Hextech. 

With promises of allowing Mel to return home to Noxus with her if Mel will simply allow the war between Piltover and Zaun to happen, Ambessa makes her final move of season 1. Luckily Mel stays true to herself, and right before Jinx blows up the council building, Mel sides with Jayce in offering Zaun independence, and encourages the other councillors to do the same. 

It’s as we head into season 2, in the wake of Jinx’s attack on Piltover, that we see Ambessa use the chaos to reestablish her footing and create another angle of manipulation to work with.

She first tries to speak through Councilor Salo, which Mel catches immediately, knowing that her mother is determined to gain power. Mel agrees to invade the Undercity to capture Jinx but without Hextech weapons, once again stopping Ambessa’s push to put Hextech into weaponised action. 

With Ambessa’s plot mapped, let’s move back to Season 2 and Caitlyn’s development:

Act 1:

Ep1 - 

It’s important to note that even at this point in her grief Caitlyn is still fighting for the people of Zaun and trying to prevent a war; she stands by Jinx being solely responsible for the attack and doesn’t want Piltover to flood the Undercity with enforcers. 

Because Ambessa failed to use Salo to get the councillors to invade Zaun with Hextech we see her next power play. She’s the one responsible for the memorial attack, she allows it to happen only to set herself up as the saviour with her Noxian troops. This act pushes her agenda forward, the next time the council meet they feel taken off guard, fearful and desperate to find a way to fight back and protect themselves. But before Ambessa can speak up, Caitlyn arrives with her strike team armed with Hextech weapons and does the task for her. 

Caitlyn’s goal is obviously to minimise damage, which is a stark contrast to what Ambessa wants overall, however it’s the perfect way for Ambessa to test her goal. I believe it’s at this point that we witness Ambessa noticing Caitlyn for the first time and understanding her influence. Something Ambessa definitely notes for later on. 

/

Next we have Caitlyn’s relationship with Vi to consider. 

It complicates Caitlyn’s grief. What should be a simple anger becomes a layered torment. How do you openly and intensely hate the sister of someone you care about? How does Caitlyn move past understanding Vi’s care for Jinx and refusal to give up on her at the end of season 1? Especially when that reality caused Caitlyn to hold back, go against her gut instinct, not shoot, and ultimately allow Jinx to kill her mother and further divide Piltover and Zaun.

The scene with her dad expands this conflict. Her guilt and self blame are evident when she admits she had the shot on Jinx. We see it manifesting in her refusal to willingly accept the Kiramman key. From someone so confident and self assured in season 1, we quickly see Caitlyn displaced and unsure. She’s gone from knowing the safety of her place in the Piltover hierarchy chain, to suddenly having to step up and fill that role her mother held. It’s a big responsibility and one Caitlyn doesn’t feel deserving or sure of. 

(Adding to this quickly that I love that it pans to Vi overhearing Caitlyn’s confessions, I think it perfectly foreshadows that Vi is going to have to witness someone else she loves descending down a path that’s a product of her actions. What a heavy cross to bear (maybe I’ll do a deep dive on Vi next)).

I also think it’s important that we talk about how Caitlyn is someone who keeps her emotions close to her chest, whereas Vi wears hers on her sleeve. Caitlyn’s grief is all over her face but it isn’t necessarily spoken aloud, she isn’t a blubbering mess. She only cries when she has the safety of Vi to be vulnerable with, and even then she only allows herself a brief moment. In true Caitlyn fashion, she then throws herself back into her way of dealing with her grief through action. I guess it makes sense that she feels inaction is what caused her pain, so of course going with the enforcers to find Jinx in the Undercity is a good idea. 

What perhaps isn’t her best idea is asking Vi to put on an enforcer badge and join her. I think Caitlyn is super clouded by her own grief here to even consider whether this is a good idea or not, especially given what she knows about Vi’s past. However, I would say that I truly believe that Caitlyn believes she’s asking Vi to join her for the right reasons. We witnessed Cait try and dissuade the council to invade Zaun already, so to think that Caitlyn believes that Vi’s presence on the enforcers side would help bridge a divide between Piltover and Zaun isn’t out of the realm of possibility. It makes sense for Cait to think that showing unity against Jinx would send a good message to the people of both cities. It also acts to ease Caitlyn’s own fears about Vi’s feelings towards her and Jinx. Where does Vi’s allegiance lie now? Can Vi see that Jinx is too far gone now and trust Cait to make the right decision? It’s a risk but a reassurance I think Cait desperately needs from Vi to anchor herself. 

Even though Vi initially rejects her offer to join the enforcers, after the memorial attack, when we see Caitlyn at her most unbalanced, Vi is there once again to provide comfort to Caitlyn at her most vulnerable. Vi understands what Caitlyn needs from her. I think at this point Vi is consumed by her own pain and guilt, and that while she clearly can’t mend Jinx’s heart, perhaps she can protect Cait’s. It’s why I believe Vi ultimately joins the strike team Caitlyn sets up. She feels a sense of responsibility to put things right too. It’s a tentative balance between the two of them; it’s the promise of action without overzealous violence hinged on an achievable goal of apprehending Jinx.

/

We see Caitlyn, for the most part, admirably hiding her pain, grief, and self blame for her mother’s death (as Mel tells Jayce) but we also see glimpses of her strong facade cracking with anger at Jinx. 

Her anguish and guilt begin to manifest into hatred, and we see this evidently in Caitlyn’s visualisation of taking the shot at Jinx. This externalised hatred of Jinx is understandable in the wake of her mother’s death, and has left Caitlyn’s family with a gaping hole that she herself now has to quickly navigate to fill. 

While Jinx isn’t part of the memorial attack it triggers a reaction in Caitlyn; her pain and anger breaking free and making her lash out. We see her in her grief going from defending Zaun; ‘there’s good people down there’ to ‘they’re animals’. While that thought doesn’t grow further yet (thanks to Vi’s grounding presence) it does seed and begin to take root inside Caitlyn, waiting to blossom later in the season.

/

Ep 2 & 3:

Episodes 2 & 3 take a closer look at Caitlyn’s invasion of the Undercity with her strike team. So I’m going to combine my thoughts for them. 

We see at the end of episode 1 that Caitlyn discovers the creation of the ventilation system the Kiramman’s created to provide clean air to the Undercity. Now this next part seems to be where I witness a lot of hatred and negativity of Caitlyn’s character journey this season coming from.

While I completely agree that her use of the gas in the Undercity is a bold and controversial choice, I think there’s a misunderstanding of how Caitlyn was using the gas. I get the sense that people think she was just gassing the whole of the Undercity when in reality she states what she plans to do with the gas in her mission outline; locate Jinx, dismantle shimmer and neutralise any agents still loyal to Silco.

Remember Vi is part of this strike team, I doubt she’s letting Caitlyn murderously gas her people. Instead, she’s probably guided Caitlyn into where the shimmer factories and the gangs are located. It’s these areas that the gas is being used. Does this justify her use of the gas? I’m not sure. I think it’s a moral grey area. Does violence of any kind, from any side, justify a violent retaliation? I think this is sadly a case of human nature. It shows the cycle of hatred, of violence being used to justify peace. It’s a tale as old as time; everybody is the bad guy in somebody else’s story. It’s a cycle that keeps repeating until somebody breaks it.

And that’s the theme the show wants to explore in season 2. Caitlyn’s actions are unsettling. Rightfully so. It’s a breakdown of what happens to people’s morals when they’re challenged by outside forces they can’t control. I think Arcane takes these issues and presents them cleverly throughout the show, and to write a character off as simply bad or good is a disservice to the depth they’ve been given.

The show forces the audience to step into each characters shoes and ask:

‘how far are you willing to go for the people you love?’

‘How far is too far?’

‘How do you know when you’re crossed that line and can you stop yourself going further?’

‘Can you come back from that?’ 

‘What can you do to break the cycle?’

We see these questions starting to get asked as we move into the tail end of Act 1.

The montage at the start of episode 3 is super heavy with explanations of what exactly the strike team does in Zaun. Sadly, I do think if you’re casually watching some of the depth of this montage is lost which I’m assuming is a time restraint/stylistic choice that had to be made for S2.

That said, let’s look at it carefully:

I feel like the bright colours are really menacing here, especially when you see Caitlyn and co fully suited up with the green gas behind them. It makes the image of the gangs running away look small and weak in comparison. When in reality we know these guys have helped Silco flood the lanes with Shimmer and are definitely part of the violence in the Undercity. It then flickers through scenes of the team fighting against the gangs, of them achieving their objective to dismantle shimmer and neutralise anyone still loyal to Silco. But it also makes a point to show Caitlyn apprehending these criminals in a non-lethal way; it seems she fires the same net-type bullets the enforcers fired at Vi and Powder way back in the opening episodes as they escaped from Jayce’s apartment. Most importantly it shows them holding Jinx’s wanted poster, inquiring for her whereabouts. This, we know, is the driving force behind all of Cait’s actions. A venture that is clearly proving fruitless so far. It’s clear that Jinx’s continued allusion only heightens Caitlyn’s grief and anger. 

While searching the Undercity for Jinx, we see Caitlyn, Vi and the others looking for Jinx in the old arcade where Vi and Jinx played as children. The use of the gas and seeing Vi playing enforcer enrages Jinx and she taunts Caitlyn by switching on the moving targets and momentarily appearing behind one before disappearing once more. While Maddie confirms the place is all clear, Caitlyn appears to begin to hyperventilate, her frustration with not apprehending Jinx clearly agitating her and teetering her closer and closer to the edge of her grief and control. She shoots where she was certain she saw Jinx standing, showing her ability to follow through with her shot now, and once more it’s Vi that has to approach her and ground her, bringing Caitlyn back from the Jinx demon plaguing her.

I want to make a point of noting that Vi is involved in the entirety of the strike team invasion into Zaun. This doesn’t make the use of the gas a right, but it does draw a line under what even Vi thinks is acceptable for Silco’s goons to suffer in their quest to get Jinx. When Jinx confronts Vi about this later, Vi even says they were using the gas to minimise damage (note - Cait hasn’t lost all morals) - ‘We used the grey to clear the streets. To keep people safe.’

We see Jinx using one of the Chembarons’s minions to lure Caitlyn and Vi further down into the pipeworks. While questioning the guy, Caitlyn continues off the back of her agitation from ep2, her frustration at not having found Jinx already making her snappy and twitchy. When Caitlyn demands an answer on how Heenot got there, she looks far too trigger happy, and Vi immediately notices the unsettled shift in Caitlyn, moving to kneel in front of Heenot. This serves to put her in Cait’s eyeline in an attempt to ground her once more. Vi gets the answer Caitlyn was seeking without violence but instead of calming Caitlyn, the knowledge that Jinx is close by only seems to amplify Cait’s vehement determination for vengeance.

Vi can see Caitlyn is becoming increasingly consumed by her hatred and asks to speak to her for a moment and then— well, let’s go ahead and talk about the kiss. That first kiss… 

I personally think that Vi’s voice actor Hailee Steinfeld and writer Amanda Overton give voice to my feelings on this far more coherently than I ever could: 

‘The dialogue before [the kiss] says it all. Vi's in a place where she's lost everything. She's lost anything and everything she's ever felt seen by or close to," Steinfeld continued. "The only way she has any of it left is through Caitlyn, and she's now asking a lot of her, asking her not to change given what she's now going through. I think it unlocks a newfound vulnerability.’

While Amanda adds to this:

“To me, that kiss, because it comes so early in their arc, was always meant to be the right thing for the wrong reasons. You want to feel really good because they’re finally kissing, but the promise that Vi asks her in her desperation is an impossible ask. Caitlyn responds in a way where she wants this to be true, Vi wants this to be true. Both of them want this to be true, so kissing was their way of covering that up.”

I think the kiss acts as a balm to both of their insecurities and guilt about their roles in the losses they’ve faced and may face again. Do either of them believe the promise, I’m not convinced, but it’s an important moment for Caitlyn to feel reassured by Vi’s loyalty. It feels like Vi has her back as they now approach Jinx, and that if Caitlyn can make the shot, she has Vi’s blessing to do so. Vi is her strength and Caitlyn needs that before she comes face to face with Jinx once again.

The only problem with the kiss and the faux promise is that it’s fine in theory but not in practice. I think Vi was trying to convince herself she could let Jinx go for Cait’s sake, but once she sees her, especially with Isha, Vi can’t commit to it. 

This is the driving wedge between her and Caitlyn, because that kiss promise they just made, well in Caitlyn’s eyes, Vi didn’t keep it. It feels like betrayal. Vi has prevented her from taking the shot against Jinx twice now. 

This is the pivotal moment that ultimately leads to Caitlyn being unable to untangle Vi from Jinx in her mind. Her feelings are too clouded by her grief, and her anger finally shifts from Jinx to Vi. Vi, who in Cait’s eyes, let her down. It’s heartbreaking but in the next moment Vi pays the price for Caitlyn’s transferred anger by taking Caitlyn’s rifle to her gut. And just like that, Caitlyn breaks her promise too. 

Has she really changed or is Caitlyn merely lost in her own self hatred, grief, insecurity and guilt? Whatever the answer is, without Vi, Caitlyn no longer has an anchor to stop herself spiralling completely. It leaves her vulnerable and open to manipulation as we see.

/

We see Ambessa growing impatient after Amara attacks her and reveals the Black Rose are aware that Ambessa isn’t relenting in their feud, instead she’s in Piltover looking for an advantage by gaining access to Hextech weapons. As a result Ambessa returns to manipulate Salo, wanting to use the councillor to once again to push her agenda and gain more control. But Salo is equally frustrated by his use in Ambessa’s plan. It’s during Ambessa’s exchange with Salo that Caitlyn comes up again. 

We know Ambessa has taken note of Caitlyn when she stormed the council with her strike team idea and thwarted her attempt to use Salo to urge the council into a full invasion of Zaun, but in this next exchange with Salo we see Ambessa once again  grasping exactly why Caitlyn could be the key to her power play.

‘It’s enough work propping you up without you dulling what few wits are left rattling around in there.’

‘If you propped as well as you prod, maybe I’d have better uses for my time than sitting around waiting for an update on Princess Kiramman’s underground escapades. She’s gotten no closer to Jinx. But that doesn’t seem to steal the stars from anyone’s eyes.’

‘Perhaps if you hadn’t let the child overpower you in your own chamber.’

‘It’s not the girl. It’s the name. It bewitches people.’

Ambessa, at this point, still intends to use Salo as her puppet by gathering the elite of Piltover, so she can essentially speak through Salo, and urge for further action to be taken against Zaun. However, the knowledge she’s gained about Caitlyn from Salo comes in very useful when Ambessa actually makes her play for power at the end of episode 3. 

Mel even notes how clever and strategic Ambessa is when talking with Lest, ‘everything with my mother is a calculated risk’ showing that Ambessa will do whatever is necessary to achieve what she wants. This becomes even easier for Ambessa to do with Mel and Jayce out of the picture, leaving Piltover wide open to her manipulation.

Ambessa takes advantage of the Jinx/Zaunite attacks on Piltover and Amara’s disappearance (or shall I say, her own cover up) to create a new narrative. She starts by using Salo as her mouthpiece, here he lays the foundation that Ambessa is a trusted and worthy ally for Piltover. Whose experience Piltover should take advantage of. Ambessa continues this narrative, painting herself as a kind ally who was simply going to help Amara rebuild Piltover before the Zaunties attacked again. 

Ambessa uses the continued and growing fear of the Piltover elite to encourage the conflict - ‘wrath must be met with wrath.’ - setting up the idea of martial law as a necessary move to protect the people and return Piltover to safety once more. We see Salo thinking he’s finally going to be rewarded for being Ambessa’s puppet, only for Ambessa to manoeuvre past him. She takes the knowledge he’s given her about Caitlyn Kiramman and the worth of her name and chooses her to command instead.

Ambessa knows of Caitlyn’s grief and her unwavering desire to bring Jinx to justice in vengeance for her mother’s death, and now Ambessa can take Caitlyn Kiramman and twist her focus to encompass more. Caitlyn Kiramman can be the pawn Ambessa uses to start the conflict between Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn Kiramman will get the elite to listen. Caitlyn Kiramman will use Hextech weaponry to do so, and in doing so, Caitlyn Kiramman will give Ambessa the power she needs to confront the Black Rose.

At first Caitlyn is shocked by Ambessa’s decision to choose her for command but once Ambessa and the Noxian’s begin their chest salute, Caitlyn becomes overwhelmed with the pressure of the Kiramman name. She told her dad she didn’t feel worthy or ready, and here is Ambessa, someone the Piltover elite now trust, someone with experience, who is saying she believes Caitlyn is the right person to protect the people. It forces Caitlyn to step up and fill that hole her mother left; to represent Piltover as a Kiramman. Ambessa achieves this cleverly by taking advantage of Caitlyn at her lowest. Ambessa plays into the combination of Caitlyn’s own guilt, grief and self loathing and peer pressure, and buckles Caitlyn to her will, molding her into a Commander who will carry out unspeakable things to grasp power.

Let’s talk about the persuasion of the peer pressure - it’s peer pressure that comes not only from the Noxian army but also from Caitlyn’s own enforcers - Maddie being the one to chest salute from Piltover’s side first. It’s not surprising given we know she’s a spy - but before this knowledge is gained Maddie is seen as a good hearted, kind enforcer wanting to do the right thing. Without Vi there to question and anchor Caitlyn, Maddie is a familiar and reassuring face Cait can turn to. So when Maddie joins the Noxians supporting Caitlyn for commander, so too does everybody else. Now it’s Piltover looking at Caitlyn to make this right.

What do you do when someone you think you trust encourages you to step up? When everyone who relies on the Kiramman name wants to believe in you? It feels like a task Caitlyn cannot fail in… not like she failed her mother. 

Ambessa, seeing Caitlyn beginning to cave to the responsibility, uses the rawness of Caitlyn’s grief to manipulate her again, just as Caitlyn might possibly be starting to question it all. Before the doubts can fully form in her head, Ambessa is there, oinking her poison into Caitlyn’s ear - ‘your mother will have justice. I swear it’. 

There’s that question for Caitlyn and the audience again - how far are you willing to go for those you love?

It’s Ambessa’s manipulation at its finest, a final, powerful shove in the direction Ambessa wants, and Caitlyn, in her broken state, falls for it.

It’s these events of the entirety of Act 1 that I believe sways Cait into taking the position of commander. By giving Caitlyn the power of command over the enforcers and her Noxian army, Ambessa enables Caitlyn to descend into an even darker spiral of moral ambiguity.

/

Act 2 -

Ep 4 - 

In the opening montage we see Caitlyn’s martial law in effect. Under her visage, the enforcers and Noxians flood the Undercity, hunting Jinx, and arresting those they see as a threat. We can all agree here that Caitlyn’s morals have tumbled; she allows a (necessary - Cait’s opinion, not mine) increased amount of violence in order to maintain control, and this is obviously met with resistance from the Zaunties. It’s the cycle of violence churning, and Caitlyn, under Ambessa’s guidance allows it to happen fuelled by her hyper-fixation on capturing Jinx.

I’d like to point out that the use of the Jinx wanted posters throughout this episode is huge. For Caitlyn and Piltover, Jinx is justification for what they’re doing. And for Zaun, Jinx becomes the one thing they can all start to unite behind despite their differences; in the most ironic turn around, Jinx becomes a symbol of hope and rebellion for Zaun against their oppressors.

Despite Caitlyn being in command of the martial law taking place, I think the scene with Maddie highlights that she hasn’t disowned her morals entirely, they haven’t changed, they’ve just become clouded by her grief and Ambessa’s manipulating encouragement. We get a hint of this as it appears that Caitlyn isn’t sleeping well, the tensions between the two cities clearly playing heavily on her mind. We see further hints of this when Caitlyn confesses to Maddie that she didn’t think the invasion would go on so long. 

‘I never expected this to go on so long. I thought… I don’t know what I thought. Just… it wasn’t this.’- this shows that Caitlyn didn’t know what exactly she was taking on when she took command. How could she? Before any of this happened she was an enforcer with restricted responsibility thanks to the protection of her mother, and now she’s not only in charge of her house and its legacy, but she’s taken control of Piltover’s safety. It’s a big burden to bear and it’s clear the direction she’s taken has left her uncertain about her choices. 

Maddie in return seems to act as both the angel and devil on Cait’s shoulders, in one breath she’s endorsing the Noxian’s increasing violence by reassuring Cait that it’s for Piltover’s safety, and the next she’s telling Caitlyn she could withdraw from the Undercity. Without Vi there now to ground Caitlyn in the harsh realities of her choices, Maddie’s angel/devil act further serves as part of Ambessa’s manipulation, isolating Caitlyn in Ambessa’s ideals alone, and keeps Caitlyn spiraling even when her morals begin to creep back in and make her conviction wobble slightly. 

When Maddie teasingly calls Caitlyn ‘Ambessa’ it snaps Caitlyn out of her disillusionment, and keeps her focused on her unfulfilled goal of getting Jinx, citing that Ambessa’s methods do work. She’s delivering what she promised Piltover and Caitlyn she would deliver, and all Caitlyn has to do is stay on the path Ambessa has set out before her.

Maddie also uses this opportunity to try and make Caitlyn feel in control. While Caitlyn’s doubts about the marital law materialise, Maddie forces Caitlyn to look at herself in the mirror and reminds her that Caitlyn is the leader they follow. It catapults Caitlyn back to the weight of responsibility she feels in the wake of losing her mother. Piltover chose her because she’s a Kiramman and Caitlyn cannot let them down, she has a hole to fill. This pushes her to ignore any niggling doubts and press forward with her efforts to secure Jinx.

Another scene where we can see that Caitlyn isn’t completely lost in her darkness is during her exchange with Ambessa. Ambessa rightfully notes that Jinx’s return will further ignite Zaun’s resistance to the martial law, but that it also finally gives them a lead on Jinx. When Caitlyn doesn’t seem elated at the news, Ambessa questions why Caitlyn isn’t more encouraged.

It’s here that Caitlyn’s core morals and doubts of Ambessa begin to shine through again. Caitlyn questions why Ambessa has urged the Noxians to become more violent, and Ambessa is clear in her response; someone in Zaun knows where Jinx is and she will use whatever force is necessary to get the answer.

Caitlyn is relentless though, and her core morals once again challenge Ambessa’s approach - ‘arrests require cause’ - showing that Caitlyn is still trying to stay within a somewhat structured justice system. She might be ruthless and unyielding in her quest for Jinx but she’s not trying to be unnecessarily cruel. 

Ambessa is always one step ahead though and we see her try to pacify Caitlyn’s doubts by reminding her of her duty to Piltover - ‘what greater cause is there than returning peace to this city?’

But Caitlyn isn’t entirely pacified by Ambessa’s remarks and we see her challenge her back with an important question; ‘why is peace always the justification for violence?’ 

This is a question not only for Ambessa and Caitlyn but also the audience. It asks the audience to think about this statement in regards to the whole show; to every character. How far is too far? When do you stop yourself from becoming something other than yourself in the name of protecting/saving those you love?

Ambessa responds by saying she understands how tiring vengeance can be, but she knows Caitlyn won’t be able to rest while she knows Jinx is out there. I believe this is one of the only honest moments Ambessa gives us. We know she too cannot rest while the Black Rose is out there threatening her family, it’s what drives her to achieve power and will keep driving her no matter the cost. But despite this brief moment of honesty, as per her character, Ambessa seizes the moment to manipulate Caitlyn again by questioning her conviction - ‘maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not. To forgive and trust in tomorrow.’ 

By leaving the choice in Caitlyn’s hands Ambessa triggers Caitlyn to remember what her inaction caused her before; her mother’s death. It’s why we next see a guilt ridden Caitlyn at her mother’s statue and why, I believe, Cait can’t escape the darkness still clutching at her ankles yet. Having fallen victim to Ambessa manipulation once again we see her allowing the Noxian soldiers to carry out more violence and mass arresting of the Zaunties.

Last thought for episode 4 - Caitlyn’s face overlapping with Jinx’s wanted poster shows the monsters they’ve both become as a result of their traumas. Jinx is a product of her abandonment that festered (under Silco) into a chaotic resentment and anger towards Vi that fundamentally changed who she was/is. The same can be said for Caitlyn in Act 1-2. As a result of Jinx killing her mother, Caitlyn becomes a product of her trauma; her grief and guilt twist her empathy and understanding into that of unbridled anger (fuelled by Ambessa). Now Cait is left desperately seeking justice to soothe her wounds, and it causes her to commit horrible acts in her quest.

Even when Caitlyn does make attempts to remind herself of her true morals, she’s met with Jinx’s taunts, Vi’s betrayal (in her eyes) and Ambessa’s manipulation, just as Jinx always had Silco whispering in her ear.

It’s a cycle of anger and self destruction that Caitlyn and Jinx cannot break… not yet anyway.

/

Ep 5 - 

We begin this episode with Caitlyn arriving at Stillwater in the wake of Warwick’s attack. She has to pass through the blood and bodies of her comrades and see first hand the destruction that’s taken place. While she and Ambessa question Singed over the attack, we see just how fractured Caitlyn’s mind is becoming the longer Jinx evades her. It seems here, that Caitlyn thought her dismantling of shimmer earlier on would slow/stop Zaun from producing chemically advanced weapons created from experiments. But the Warwick attack proves her wrong. Singed has created something far worse, and Caitlyn’s immediate response is to discover how it’s connected to Jinx. 

It’s quite an ironic scene because Singed is almost mocking Caitlyn for being so single-minded. Zaun is more than just Jinx - something Caitlyn used to be able to comprehend before her grief - and he can see that Caitlyn is blinded to that, blaming her impatience and youth. 

We also get to see here how Caitlyn has made use of Stillwater for those that she’s arrested during the period of martial law - ‘there are cells buried deep within this prison so devoid of light and fresh air and all basic human considerations that up till now, I have forbidden their use.’

Has Caitlyn wrongly arrested Zaunties? I have no doubt that she has. But has she tried not to go so far into the darkness that she forgets all her morals and becomes a complete monster? I think so. She remembers the torment and suffering Vi suffered in Stillwater (even when they’re apart Vi is the grounding force that tries to creep in and pull Caitlyn back from the worst of herself). I don’t think Caitlyn is cruel by nature. She does have a good heart. It's just buried so deep beneath her guilt and grief that she’s committed acts she never thought she would, and she can’t seem to stop committing them while she feels Jinx is still a threat to Piltover. 

The last we see of Caitlyn in that scene she threatens Signed with spending the rest of his days in Stillwater. A promise she will keep if he doesn’t cooperate to help them destroy the beast.

When we next see Singed however, he’s with Ambessa. Ambessa who has quickly and strategically concluded that if Hextech is unreachable due to Jayce’s absence, the beast that Signed has created is the next best weapon she could have in her arsenal. Warwick might in fact be more powerful. Here Ambessa cuts a deal with Singed; his loyalty and the beast for her cause, in exchange for his freedom and allowance to keep experimenting. It’s clearly not something Ambessa informs Caitlyn of, who I’m assuming she keeps in the dark. Ambessa allows Caitlyn to keep believing that Singed is only being freed so that they can find the beast and destroy it before it attacks Piltover. 

We get to see in this episode that the doubts we see Caitlyn beginning to have about Ambessa and the disillusionment we see Caitlyn facing about her role in the invasion of Zaun continue to gnaw at her, especially after Singed’s poignant remark that ‘no one in power is innocent.’  I think this is a statement that makes Caitlyn pause and look at herself. If Signed isn’t innocent for his creation, is she innocent for the violence she’s allowed?

When we next see Ambessa, Signed and Caitlyn share a scene together, it’s with Signed conducting an experiment that will hopefully allow them to locate the beast.

Caitlyn, who looks less than thrilled with the arrangement of his freedom, makes it known that she understood Signed’s barbed statement last time, and as a result she’s used her position as a Kiramman to look into him to discover how deep his crimes go. It also highlights that she distrusts the reasoning Ambessa has given her for Signed’s release. We know after all that during the previous episode Ambessa made it clear she couldn’t forgive and forget. That she would always fight and do whatever was necessary to win with no regrets.

What Caitlyn has discovered is that the Piltover academy once had a revered alchemist who was banished as a result of his work. The results of which were never recorded. We know from S1 that Jayce’s creation of Hextech was considered so dangerous that it almost got him banished until he stabilised it. But what does the Undercity have that’s equally as dangerous as Hextech and yet entirely unstable and uncontrollable; shimmer. 

Caitlyn’s headstrong intellect makes a delightful return here when we see her work out that Singed was the banished alchemist Dr Reveck. She recoils in disgust at his creation of shimmer, which has always been a threat, not only to Piltover, but to Zaun. The damage of which Caitlyn saw firsthand in season 1 when she was in Zaun with Vi.

She calls Signed a monster and demands to know why he created shimmer and why he continues to experiment so dangerously that he creates these violent abominations.

For Singed the answer is easy - ‘Why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? For love.’

At the sight of Signed’s daughter, kept alive by these unthinkable, grotesque experiments, Caitlyn is then forced to face an ugly truth, something which she and Singed both share. They have both committed horrible deeds to alleviate the harrowing pain of loss that only comes from losing someone you love. 

It holds a mirror up to Caitlyn and her actions in such a raw way that I don’t think any other moment has done yet. Is this the wake up call Caitlyn needs to finally break the chains of Ambessa’s manipulation and away from the darkness pulling her further and further away from her true self?

I guess we’ll see.

——

Ep 6 -

While the previous episode gives us our first proper glimmer of hope that Caitlyn is slowly waking up from her darkness and may start breaking away from Ambessa soon, this episode gives us the culmination of events that actually drive Cait to that very point of disentangling herself from Ambessa’s web of manipulation. 

But let’s rewind a second to see how exactly Caitlyn gets there.

Episode 6 starts off with a very clever and insightful fight sequence. Here we see Ambessa sparring with Caitlyn and training her in the Noxian ways. 

Here are the key principles Ambessa teaches Caitlyn:

‘Noxus prizes strength above all else, defining it by three core principles. Vision. The top of the triangle, charting a course and having the wisdom to navigate it. This form is your base, child. Your eyes see what others don't. Might. Bending your environment to your will. Your speed is improving. But eventually you need force.’

‘Too much force exposes you to risk.’

‘Indeed. The last is guile. Phantoms. Tricksters. Mages. Absent honour. Absent accountability. Remember this, Caitlyn. Tunnels in your eyes. Lava in your veins. Shadows in your heart. This is the truth of combat.’

But oh no, that’s not all.  Ambessa enlightens Caitlyn to her final, most important lesson:

‘I’ve discovered a fourth principle. One that heightens all others. Sacrifice. The temper born of suffering. We understand it as others cannot. We are kin.’

Now, this may just seem like Ambessa being Ambessa but it provides Caitlyn with two things:

 1) her combat skill set has definitely approved under Ambessa and continues to do so 

 2) Caitlyn has the inner-knowledge of how Ambessa’s mind works. 

This becomes vital later on in the remaining episodes. 

Some people might be confused by Caitlyn’s participation here given that she was starting to doubt Ambessa in the previous episode. However, the beast is still at large and a threat to both Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn needs to aid Ambessa in putting him down.

Singed leads Ambessa, Caitlyn and the Noxian army through Zaun to the commune Viktor has established. Here is where Signed has tracked his beast. While Ambessa seems hell bent on attacking the commune without a second thought in order to capture the beast, we see Caitlyn looking unsure. Her suspicions that Ambessa is up to something heighten when she allows Singed to enter the commune to talk to Viktor.

Up until this point Caitlyn believes their goal is to eliminate the beast since it’s such a threat to Piltover and Zaun, but when she witnesses Ambessa and Signed plotting together, I believe she starts questioning their true intent regarding the beast.

The next time we see Caitlyn she appears to be creeping around the outskirts of her and Ambessa’s makeshift camp. Why would she be doing that if she wasn’t doubting Ambessa and Singed? Caitlyn isn’t stupid, she knows Ambessa is highly driven by power, but power at the expense of a peaceful commune? I’m not sure even Caitlyn is willing to cross that line. Her morals have gotten lost but they haven’t gone completely. Caitlyn has always tried to hold onto them. We see that here again. These morals come rushing back when Caitlyn’s natural detective skills lead her to piece together that Ambessa and Signed are planning a way to capture the beast, not destroy it. 

This to me is Caitlyn’s turning point, as she realises that Ambessa and Signed with the beast at their disposal will be a much bigger threat to Piltover and Zaun than Jinx ever could have been. 

Caitlyn has already reached this conclusion before she spots someone creeping about and puts their ass on the ground. Before she realises it’s Vi creeping around. 

The fact that it is Vi following Singed, and the fact that Vi is at the commune at all gives Caitlyn even greater reason to question Ambessa. These two may not have spoken in months but they see each other. They always have. 

When Caitlyn says ‘you can’t be here’ it’s not because she doesn’t want to see Vi, or because she’s dismissing her, but because she knows Ambessa is dangerous. Because despite everything that’s happened Caitlyn wants to protect Vi. Plus, Caitlyn knows that Vi being there is a weakness for her, she won’t be able to do what she needs to do to stop Ambessa if she’s worrying about Vi in the crossfire.

It’s Vi, however, questioning Caitlyn in return that falters Caitlyn’s cold focus. Why is Caitlyn there on the job? And is she still acting like an unhinged mongoose? 

Caitlyn mimics the insult of ‘mongoose’ but I think it’s the word ‘unhinged’ that cracks her steely veneer. Her grief and guilt did make her unhinged. The last time they were together she hit Vi in the stomach with her rifle in the wake of what she perceived as Vi’s betrayal of her. In the months since I’m sure that act has haunted Caitlyn. Vi disappeared from her life without another word and it’s because of Caitlyn’s actions. 

(Was Maddie the perfect distraction to the heartbreak she caused herself? I think so. Maddie allowed Caitlyn not to think about Vi, and Caitlyn needed that in order to reassure herself that her actions were necessary and justified. A perfect example of ‘the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves’).

Without Vi around, Caitlyn was able to really access those darker parts of herself, and while Caitlyn felt like she needed to do that in order to keep herself focused on Jinx, we can see the cost of it. We see it in Caitlyn’s uncertainty in her actions, in her doubts of Ambessa, in the threat of the beast, and in Vi’s appearance. 

When Vi pushes Caitlyn off her in response, Caitlyn moves back limply, a little bit of the fight knocked out of her. Did Vi’s insult hold a mirror up to Caitlyn? I think so. It’s an uncomfortable pill to swallow, and we see that manifest in the way Caitlyn shifts her focus onto Vi’s hair.  

‘Your hair. You look like an angry oil slick.’

‘Don’t sugarcoat it, cupcake.’

Vi doesn’t trade insults with Caitlyn. She doesn’t berate her further than getting Caitlyn to back off so she can sit up. Instead she takes Caitlyn’s comment and gives Caitlyn warmth in return. The use of the ‘cupcake’ nickname is familiar, affectionate. In that single moment it breaks the tension between them. Is there anger between them? Yes. Unresolved issues? Yes. But there’s also an innate trust. So when Vi asks what Caitlyn is doing at the commune, Caitlyn tells the truth. And when Caitlyn asks Vi why she’s there in return, Vi tells the truth.

‘We tracked some sort of new chemweapon down here. A bloodthirsty, murderous, beast. What are you doing here?’

‘Trying to save… my dad.’

We don’t see Vi reveal to Caitlyn the true extent of what happened to Vander, and Vi purposely omits Jinx’s involvement, but what she tells Caitlyn is enough for Caitlyn to make her decision to betray Ambessa. 

We’ve seen time and time again that Vi fights because she’s always had to, but Caitlyn fights because she wants to. It’s what made Vi trust Caitlyn in the first place. And although she knows Caitlyn still hates/resents Jinx, she trusts Caitlyn enough in that moment to fight for what’s right like she always has before. Vi completely kills Caitlyn’s idea that Warwick is just a beast. The second Vi confides in her that this beast is actually Vander, her dad, Caitlyn starts seeing him as human. And not just any human; a human hugely important to Vi. Those doubts Caitlyn had about Ambessa and Singed? They’re cemented here. She trusts Vi and believes Vi, and that headstrong Caitlyn from S1 who wants to do the right thing and protect the people she loves? She shows up for Vi now.

Grayson once asked Caitlyn what she was shooting for, and we see the answer here clearly; Caitlyn will shoot to protect those she loves. Vi needs her help and her protection and Caitlyn is going to do just that because despite everything that's happened to them and between them, Caitlyn loves Vi. It’s that simple.

They’ve always worked better together, and we see that here. Their balance slowly returns as they plot to infiltrate Ambessa’s camp with Vi as Caitlyn’s prisoner. It creates a perfect distraction and takes Ambessa out of play, while Caitlyn stops Singed and saves Vander. If anybody could bring Caitlyn back out of her darkness and ground her, redirect her focus, and free her from Ambessa’s manipulation, it’s Vi.

The following scene between Ambessa, Vi and Caitlyn is amazing at showing just how much trust and understanding is still between Cait and Vi despite their bond not being fully healed. Caitlyn’s (fake) delivery of Vi into Ambessa’s hands cements Caitlyn as a worthy ally in Ambessa’s eyes. Remember, Ambessa sent a young Mel away because she considered Mel her weakness, and here we see Caitlyn handing over Vi, someone who Ambessa knows has Caitlyn’s heart (is her weakness). It’s such a powerplay from Caitlyn; she takes what she knows about how Ambessa’s mind works and uses that to her advantage to stage her betrayal.

Ambessa’s biggest mistake in this scene is her arrogance. She doesn’t consider for a second that Caitlyn will betray her. While she understands that Vi must be disposed of before she becomes a distraction for Caitlyn and ruins all of Ambessa’s manipulations, she fails to comprehend just how easily Vi could have gotten through to Caitlyn. 

In fact, Ambessa even gloats about how Vi’s absence provided a vacuum she was able to fill in Caitlyn; with manipulation, with Maddie, with fuelled hatred. Without Vi to ground her, Caitlyn, in Ambessa’s eyes, was easily shaped into her cold, ruthless commander. She can’t have Vi ruining that now. It’s why she knows she has to kill her if she wants to keep Caitlyn as her puppet.

The problem with Ambessa putting all of her money on Caitlyn’s hate for Jinx being stronger than any of her past feelings for Vi, is that Ambessa completely fails to recognise that Vi has already saved Caitlyn. All it took was for their eyes to lock again and Vi shattered the hard shell Ambessa worked hard to build around Caitlyn.

Don’t get me wrong, Caitlyn was starting to save herself (unbeknown to Ambessa, thanks to her ego) but Vi showed up at the right time, in the right place and offered Caitlyn a hand. A hand that Caitlyn took without a second of doubt.

Ambessa overlooks the importance of Vi’s duality to Caitlyn, that’s she’s Caitlyn’s biggest weakness but she’s also her biggest strength, until it’s too late. Caitlyn is already distracted, she’s already made her choice; it’s Vi.

I think this shows major growth for Caitlyn, because even though she doesn’t know about Jinx’s involvement at this stage, she still chooses Vi over Ambessa. She chooses Vi over her mission. She chooses Vi over her grief. It doesn’t take back her mistakes but it sets Caitlyn back on the right path, the path where she will protect people, especially those she loves.

Caitlyn follows Vi’s plan to subdue Signed and attempts to help Vander but Rictus stops her. It seems that while Ambessa trusted Caitlyn, Rictus wasn’t convinced. Just as it looks like he will kill Caitlyn, Jinx fires a shot and saves her.

Does Jinx do it because she cares about Caitlyn? No. Jinx saves Caitlyn to save Vander. Does Jinx know deep down that killing Caitlyn would affect the bridges she’s building with Vi? I absolutely think so.

As Vander saves Jinx from Rictus we see Vi rush in and embrace her family. Caitlyn, while betrayed by Jinx’s unexpected involvement, and who is still knocked down on the floor, briefly locks eyes with Vi only to witness Vi smiling and happy with her family. 

This is the first time Caitlyn gets to see Vi freely happy with the people she loves. All she’s ever witnessed from Vi before is pain. Pain at losing her parents, pain at losing Vander, pain at being locked away for years, pain for leaving Powder and having to accept Jinx. Pain from Caitlyn. And Jinx is right there too, looking happy and holding Vander and Vi in return. Has Vi forgiven Jinx? Can Vi forgive her? Can Caitlyn forgive any of it? 

It’s a lot for Caitlyn to process and she doesn’t really get a chance to before Jayce hammers Viktor to death and sends the place into chaos. 

Instead we see Caitlyn following behind Vi and Jinx as they run outside to see what’s going on. Warwick is back to being bloodthirsty now that Viktor is dead, and Ambessa has arrived with the Noxian army seeking revenge. Her eyes piercing Caitlyn glaringly for her betrayal before she attacks.

It’s important to note that not once during the fight sequence with Vander and the Noxians do we see Caitlyn try and take a shot at Jinx. She easily could have, at multiple points, but she doesn’t. 

Why?

Because when she freed Vi from Stillwater in S1 she decided to trust her. She trusted her because beneath Vi’s tough exterior Caitlyn could see her pain. Since that moment all Caitlyn has wanted to do is soothe Vi’s wounded heart. It’s why she didn’t shoot Jinx in the season 1 finale, it’s why she lets Vi stop her shooting Jinx in Ep3, and it’s why she doesn’t try to shoot Jinx now.

Caitlyn has been devastated by the loss of her mother at Jinx’s hands. It’s a pain she will never fully heal from, and in these moments Caitlyn has to decide if she wants to be responsible for adding to Vi’s pain. Can she kill Vi’s sister? Can she cause more suffering to the woman she loves? More than she already has? The answer is a resounding no. 

Because despite everything, Caitlyn is a good person with a good heart. She was just swept away and lost in her grief. But now she’s anchored again thanks to Vi. She may never forgive Jinx, she may always hate her for what she did but she will always love Vi more.

We see Caitlyn protecting Vi during the fight, and we even see her letting Vi go in order to save Jinx when she gallantly rushes in to try and save Isha.

By the end of Act 2 we stop seeing Commander Caitlyn Kiramman here and simply see Cait again. She’s definitely more bruised and hardened by her trauma and experiences but she’s there, fighting her way back to the surface.

This takes us into Act 3 and Caitlyn’s reconciliation with her true self and her steps towards atonement. 

/

Act 3:

Ep 8 -

This episode starts with an unconscious Vi awakening after her near death experience in ep6. Loris is there when she wakes and he tries to calm her down by answering her burning questions about the locations of Jinx and Cait.

Let’s just take a second to note that Vi isn’t just anywhere in Piltover, oh no, she’s tucked safely in Caitlyn’s bed in the Kiramman house. And Loris openly tells her that Caitlyn rounded up a squad of doctors to patch her back together. There’s a bunch of pillows piled on the side next to Vi - did Caitlyn watch over her while she healed? The show doesn’t explicitly state it, but Loris implies that Caitlyn wanted to be there when Vi woke, suggesting that Caitlyn hasn’t left her side often, and the reason for her absence must be important.

We get to see why Caitlyn isn’t at Vi’s side when she wakes just seconds later. Caitlyn is with Maddie, contemplating Ambessa’s inevitable attack on Piltover. She knows it’s coming, especially now that Ambessa knows of her betrayal. Considering Caitlyn has been the commander of the invasion into Zaun for months at this point, here we see her approach to be a little more cautious. No longer is she so warped by Ambessa’s reckless ways, or her hate fuelled mission for revenge against Jinx, now Caitlyn is trying to find her feet as commander in her own way; listening to her own morals and trying to make the right choices. Caitlyn knows there won’t be any negotiations with Ambessa thanks to her betrayal, and so careful, clever strategy is what she’s going to need to come up with, and fast, if she’s to save Piltover.

Maddie tries to offer comfort but Caitlyn straight up rejects her. Why? Because there was never any true affection between them. Maddie was just a distraction, a warm body to keep Caitlyn’s focus away from Vi and stuck in the darkness she was drowning in. But now that Vi's back in her orbit, Caitlyn is even less interested in Maddie, and the second Vi storms in demanding answers about Jinx, Caitlyn dismisses Maddie without a second thought.

Here we see some of the tension between Caitlyn and Vi boil to the surface. Their reunion in the previous episode was quick, it was based on innate trust and convenience, but there was no time for a proper resolution to the issues between them. Vi demands answers for why Jinx is locked away, accusing Caitlyn of still being on her blinding revenge quest against Jinx. When Caitlyn’s initial attempt to calm Vi falls on deaf ears, she retorts with anger at Vi’s lack of trust in her to do the right thing.

‘Arrested?’

‘Vi…’

‘She saved your life.’

‘If you will just calm down for one—’

‘Even knowing you’d never have done the same for her.’

‘We’ll never know, will we? You didn’t let me in on that part of your plan.’

‘Clearly the right call, since you can’t trust her enough not to shove her in a box.’

‘Trust? You believe I’m so daft I can’t recognise a contingency? She wasn’t there for my benefit. You didn’t trust me to follow through.’

‘Can you blame me? How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear, and you just ate it!’

I think Vi’s defence here is fair, given that Vi not only witnessed Caitlyn’s hatred for Jinx morph into an obsession, but that she also got a taste of Caitlyn’s spiral into darkness herself when Caitlyn was cruel to her in ep3. She was in Zaun the entire time Caitlyn was enforcing Ambessa’s martial law too. Vi has seen the violence and the damage done at Caitlyn’s hands with her own eyes. So it’s not a surprise that Vi didn’t trust her fully when they reunited in ep6. Caitlyn has been under Ambessa’s thumb for far too long for Vi to assess just how much lasting damage has been done to Caitlyn in ep6. 

When Vi confronts Caitlyn with this harsh reality, Caitlyn cracks in shame and anger - ‘I know!’

Caitlyn can see what she’s done, what she’s become, and she takes accountability for it with this simple acknowledgement. She’s not a words girl, we know she’s more emotionally repressed when it comes to expressing herself that way, but as she sinks back onto the arm of the couch we can physically see her deflation. Caitlyn is very much aware of her mistakes. She knows she’s had her grief manipulated and that to an extent, because of her hatred of Jinx, she let it happen. It has cost Caitlyn greatly, and we see how fragile her relationship with Vi is now as a result.

But the best thing about this much needed heated exchange is that Caitlyn gets to show Vi that she’s not completely lost to her, that she has managed to start pulling herself out of her darkness. 

‘The only thing Jinx cared about was getting you to safety. Then she just surrendered. I didn’t even have time to think before they hailed her off. She’s being held in the bunker while I decide what to do. I was waiting for you to recover.’

Why did Caitlyn wait? 

Well she unfairly pushed the enforcer badge on to Vi back in episode 1 because she selfishly needed reassurance and loyalty during her spiraling grief. She forced Vi to choose between her and Jinx when deep down Cait knew that would be an impossible thing for Vi to do. 

Caitlyn waiting for Vi to recover before any decision is made about what happens to Jinx proves that Cait wants to atone. It shows Vi where she’s at, and Vi recognises the gesture immediately. There’s her Cait. It’s not commander Kiramman sitting before her, but the woman she was falling for back before Jinx’s attack at the end of season 1.

It gives Vi all she needs to fight for her family; for Jinx and for Cait.

‘Cait, she’s changed.’ 

Vi wants Cait to understand what she’s been going through, what she’s witnessed in regards to Jinx and Isha and the bridges they were beginning to build. But even though Cait hears this - Jinx saved her when she easily could have let Rictus kill her - she can’t quite accept it. Not because she doesn’t necessarily believe Vi but because how can anybody accept the unspeakable violence and acts that Jinx has done? That Caitlyn has done? In Caitlyn’s mind they’re inescapable and unforgivable.

‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’

But Vi is the voice of reason and immediately challenges her response with this soul searching question - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

The conflicting expressions that flicker across Caitlyn’s face as Vi leaves her at the end of this scene shows how carefully and heavily this question sits in Cait’s chest. 

Who does get to decide who deserves a second chance? Is it the responsibility of someone else to decide if you’re worthy? Or is it up to you to free yourself from the burdens of your mistakes?

It’s a set of questions that Caitlyn takes with her when she visits Jinx in her cell. 

We start by seeing Caitlyn taking Jinx a tray of food, a sign of her good heart and the extension of a tentative olive branch before they get into having their first ever, real conversation.

‘Vi thinks that you’ve changed.’

‘She can’t accept what you and I know. There are no happy endings.’

Jinx’s response to Caitlyn’s statement immediately brings us back to Vi’s question for Caitlyn - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

Jinx is just as closed off to the idea as Caitlyn (‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’) and that immediately triggers Caitlyn. Because if they’re right, if they don’t deserve second chances, what’s left of them both?

Caitlyn wants accountability; from Jinx, from herself, and so she presses further:

‘Is that all you have to say for yourself? There won’t be a trial. I’m giving you this one chance to account for your actions, all the pain you’ve caused.’

But Jinx continues to look defeated and doesn’t react, showing a shell of the person Caitlyn knew her to be - the Jinx that Caitlyn despised. Caitlyn grows frustrated and bangs her fist into the cell bars.

‘No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes.’

Here Caitlyn takes accountability by saying ‘our crimes’, she knows they’ve both caused pain, but even that doesn’t get a reaction. Jinx is empty; empty of anger, of hate, of taunts. All the time she’s spent being vengeful hasn’t made her feel better, or changed anything that’s happened, it’s just left her utterly exhausted. There’s no fight left in her and she admits as much to Caitlyn:

‘Do what you came here to do.’

Caitlyn’s lingering anger disappears instantly as she recognises Jinx’s predicament as her own. The cost of their hatred, of their vengeance hasn’t been worth it. It’s cost them both exponentially. They’re both shells of who they were, who they should be.

‘Hating you… I’ve hated myself. I just don’t have the energy for it any longer.’

Caitlyn starts to walk away but before she gets far Jinx gives her the accountability that Caitlyn needs to hear from Jinx in order to free herself of her self hatred:

‘I didn’t know your mom was there. It probably wouldn’t have made a difference, but… I didn’t know.’

It’s not a sorry. These two will never say sorry to each other. They will never like each other. But this is the moment Caitlyn lets go of her hatred, of her need for justice. Jinx’s confession releases Caitlyn from the burden of her guilt over her mother’s death and breaks their cycle of violence.

In return, we see Caitlyn answer Vi’s question. She doesn’t say sorry, or beg for forgiveness, she acts. She orders all the guards to the Hexgates, leaving Jinx unguarded, and in doing so grants Jinx her second chance. She does it not only for herself and for Jinx, but for Vi. 

Caitlyn knows Vi will free Jinx because Vi loves unconditionally. She fights for those she loves and she can’t give up on Jinx because they’re family and Vi feels responsible for her. It’s the essence of who Vi is.

It’s something Caitlyn has come to understand from her grief because she too couldn’t let go; of her mother, of her guilt, of her hatred. It’s because of love that she became the commander and made the mistakes she did, and it’s because of love that Vi will do what she needs to save her sister. But most importantly it's because of love that Caitlyn is willing to let Vi save Jinx, even if that means letting Vi go. Cait’s giving Vi the freedom to make her own choice despite knowing it could cost her what she wants. And what Caitlyn wants more than anything is Vi. 

Caitlyn’s atonement for her sins begins in that one beautiful, selfless act of letting go.

When we next see Caitlyn she is freeing Vi from the cell that Jinx locked her in. Vi is punishing herself for what she thinks is her having made the wrong choice again. She really thought Jinx would help, but she didn’t, she left Vi, and now Vi’s worried that by betraying Cait to free Jinx, she’s lost Caitlyn too. 

‘Did you really think I needed all the guards at the Hexgates? Sorry to say, you’ve grown a bit predictable.’

We already know that Cait set Jinx’s escape up for Vi. That she prioritized her love for Vi over her hatred for Jinx, and in the one confession, Vi now knows it too. Caitlyn acted for her. Caitlyn sees Vi and accepts her fully.

We’ve already established that Caitlyn knew Vi would try to save her sister, but what we didn’t know for certain, and what Caitlyn most definitely didn’t know for certain, is would Vi still be there and would Vi still want her?

Here we get Vi’s answer when Vi finally takes what she wants and kisses Cait. 

Caitlyn can’t quite believe it, but when Vi just keeps on kissing her, it clicks for Cait that Vi does want her just as much as she wants Vi.

I adore the use of lighting in this scene, and I’ve seen a few wonderful posts analysing this in detail, so I won’t overstep. But i just wanted to note how clever it is to see Vi pull Cait out of darkness and back into the light. And while we’re talking about the light I will quickly add on a bit about Maddie. Vi couldn’t give two fucks about her. She didn’t when she met her, she didn’t when she saw her in Cait’s house, and she doesn’t give a fuck if she was in Cait’s bed. Vi knows Cait lost herself, and Maddie was simply something for Cait to lose herself in, as much as fighting and alcohol was for Vi. All that matters is now, and what matters now is her and Cait.

I could talk about their sex scene beat by beat but I think the fandom has analysed it to death beautifully already. What I will say is we see the culmination of both their arcs here. Vi, at Jinx’s behest, finally lets herself be happy and what makes her happy is Caitlyn. And Caitlyn uses every touch to apologise, to show her love and regret to Vi. She gives up the control that has kept her blindly focused on her revenge and hatred. Cait gives herself over completely to Vi’s love and redeems her soul by doing so. It’s beautiful to see Vi finally take what she wants.

The culmination of this episode is heartwarming. We see Cait giving Jinx a second chance, Jinx then in turn gives Vi a second chance by setting her free from the burden of their tormented past, and Vi returns that grace by granting Cait a second chance from her mistakes. 

The three of them break the cycle together.

—-

Ep 9 -

A lot happens in this final episode but I’m strictly going to try and focus on Caitlyn and Vi before this analysis grows any longer.

Piltover is preparing for Ambessa’s and Viktor’s attack. We see Caitlyn and Vi in the council bunker with Jayce and Mel. Here Jayce tells Caitlyn, Vi and Mel that he needs them to take the enforcers and buy him as much time against Ambessa’s forces while he shuts down the Hexgates.

When Jayce says this is a fight they’re supposed to lose, Vi’s fist visibly clenches. She doesn’t like losing fights, and definitely doesn’t want to lose this one now that she’s finally letting herself be happy, but you can tell Vi is tired. She’s been fucking through it emotionally and physically these past 2 seasons and Cait catches her anxiety instantly. It’s only a fleeting moment, but we see Cait cover Vi’s hand and squeeze in support and encouragement. Vi doesn’t have to fight alone anymore. They can fight together.

Here we see Caitlyn embodying her role as the commander she was always meant to be when she says they can stop Viktor, and determidly shoves his little model down. I love seeing her so strong and resolved here. She’s got far too much to fight for and to put right to admit defeat so easily.

While Vi is off with her batch of enforcers leading a charge from one of the towers, Caitlyn is down in the front line with her own squad fighting back the Noxian forces who have Ambessa leading the charge. 

We see Caitlyn with her trusty rifle and Maddie as her spotter fighting hard, but can only watch in horror as a shimmer fuelled army seems to be relentlessly coming for them. Commander Caitlyn kicks in and keeps her team going even when it seems like they might be losing. She fights with everything she has to put their plan into action, knowing that she has mistakes to atone for.

But something goes wrong and before she knows what’s happening, Caitlyn takes a massive hit to the back of the head. It winds her and leaves her struggling to get up, and when she does it’s to see that her enforcers have been captured by the Noxian troops, and Ambessa is marching straight towards her.

When she glances back to see who has a rifle aimed at the back of her head, Caitlyn comes face to face with Maddie. It’s here that we get the reveal that Maddie is a Noxian spy and has been working for Ambessa the entire time. It’s another mistake for Caitlyn, a failing of her judgment, once again made during her grief and manipulated by Ambessa perfectly.

‘I warned you of the hazards of professional entanglement.’

Ambessa’s gloating is a horrible reminder of how fair Caitlyn let herself fall beneath Ambessa’s influence, and I think it’s this self awareness, this shame, that causes Caitlyn to take her chance. She never really had any true feelings for Maddie, Caitlyn was using her for distraction just as Maddie was using her for information, and now she has an opportunity to atone for her sins by ending this war if she can just get the shot on Ambessa.

Caitlyn smashes the rifle back into Maddie’s face as she grabs it from her and takes her aim at Ambessa. But of course Ambessa anticipates Caitlyn’s reckless attempt, she goaded her into it after all, and Caitlyn once again pays the price for her mistakes when Ambessa thwarts her attack and stab’s Caitlyn in the stomach instead.

When Caitlyn falls to her knees before Ambessa and her mocking ‘desperation is the doorway to oblivion, child’ you can see the sorrow on Cait’s face. In her eyes she has failed. She’s failed Piltover, she’s failed herself, and she’s failed Vi. Filled with regret, I imagine Cait’s life flashes before her eyes as Maddie loads the gun and takes the shot.

There’s the sound of the gun firing, a cracking of gold, and then the wet sound of blood. Maddie’s body slops weightless down against her back before slumping to the ground and Caitlyn is left with the stark realisation that she isn’t dead. Her second chance is truly a second chance.

Enter Mel, in all her glorious magical power. While she faces off with her mother, Jinx joins the battle in her outlandish way, and the symbolism of second choices being worth having comes full circle as the chaos of her arrival grants Piltover and Zaun another chance to fight back.

The enforcers break free during the chaos and continue to fight, and Viktor’s hive mind army starts rushing the Hexgate while Mel and Caitlyn face off with Ambessa. 

This fight shows off Caitlyn’s redemption arc beautifully. With renewed strength Caitlyn is back on her feet and circling Ambessa as she exchanges heated words with Mel.

Fuck words though, Caitlyn is a woman made of action, and with determination thrumming through her veins, she punches Ambessa in the face, cutting off her self-serving tirade.

‘Shut up and fight.’

Caitlyn truly becomes the commander she was always meant to be when she challenges Ambessa here. She has a lot to prove, a lot to atone for and a lot left to fight for, and Caitlyn gives every bit of herself over to it, consequences be damned. She’s willing to give her life to save everyone, and if that’s not Caitlyn trying to be redeemed I don’t know what else she could do.

The fight sequence is incredible. Ambessa takes on her daughter duo skillfully. Ambessa is a tank of a woman, a fearless leader and a fierce fighter. But Caitlyn has grown and changed. She’s not the naive child Ambessa manipulated anymore, she’s a wise, hardened warrior with a good heart and an unwavering desire to make amends.

We see Caitlyn’s true, courageous strength in this scene as she uses Ambessa’s own Noxian teachings against her;

Caitlyn fights with all her might; she ignores the blade in her stomach and goes for Ambessa again and again, taking blow after blow but never quitting. 

She fights with vision; her intuitiveness effectively analysing Ambessa’s movement, choices and weaknesses. She sees the runic band around her arm deflecting Mel’s attacks, and plans to use it against her.

She fights with guile; when Ambessa has her on her knees, a blade heading towards her eye, and Ambessa’s air of victory about her, Cait uses the blade in her stomach to make her move and slices the band from Ambessa’s arm.

But most importantly Caitlyn sacrifices.

In season 1 she trades her prized rifle, which is essentially an extension of who Caitlyn is at her very core, to get the medicine needed to save Vi. Here, in the fight against Ambessa, Caitlyn gives over even more. She gives her eye - an actual piece of herself - to try and save Piltover and Zaun. Cait is a marksman, her sight is imperative, and yet Caitlyn gives her eye freely. She doesn’t do it for forgiveness but because she needs to try and make amends and put things right. She does it because she was willing to pay the ultimate price of her sins.

Words mean a lot, but so do actions, and Cait is redeemed by hers in these final episodes, in my opinion at least. 

After the battle is over and it appears they’ve won we don’t see Cait and Vi again until the very end but we do see Sevika taking a seat at the council. Cait has given her seat to Zaun. She took so much from them during her grief and hatred and now that she’s free from that, she gives them her seat so they can have a voice. Their own voice. I don’t personally see how Caitlyn could ever remain in the council when she was an oppressor to Zaun. She had to step back and give that up in order for the divide between Piltover and Zaun to continue to grow and heal. Her purpose in rebuilding will be found elsewhere.

With that said, we don’t know if Cait is still an enforcer or not, but we do see eye-patch Caitlyn back to her investigative ways. She’s pensively studying the Hexgates blueprint while twirling a piece of shrapnel between her fingers. It’s not just any piece of shrapnel though, it’s the head of one of Jinx’s monkey bombs. Caitlyn zooms in on the vents leading off the Hexgates, and it appears she’s pondering one question; could Jinx have survived and escaped?

The question is why is Caitlyn looking in the first place. Is she looking to simply help Vi with getting closure? Or is Cait looking because second chances and forgiveness become more healing with time? Is there a world where Caitlyn and Jinx can grow and heal enough to both be in Vi’s orbit without hurting her? It’s left open to interpretation. But it’s hopeful after all the pain the three of them have endured.

We see Vi looking emotionally and physically spent as she hums to herself. But she also looks calm and at peace. Humming, enjoying the fire, comfortably sitting like she’s at home in the Kiramman house. It’s heartwarming to see Vi looking safe; like she belongs.

Cait comes through from her investigating, and teases Vi slightly showing a domestic growth in their relationship. We don’t know how long it’s been but we can assume both cities are still in a state of rebuild and change. 

Caitlyn is still a Kiramman however. She might not be a commander anymore but she still has a sense of duty and will always want to help, and she checks in with Vi to see if she’s still there with her. Because Vi doesn’t have to fight anymore if she doesn’t want to, and if she doesn’t, Caitlyn won’t ask her too. 

‘Are you still in this fight, Violet?’

But the thing about Vi is no matter how emotionally and physically exhausted she is, or how beaten down, Vi will always get up. It’s just who Violet is at her core. Vi fights for what she loves, to protect and help them, and the person Vi loves more than anything is Caitlyn, so of course Vi is right there with her. 

‘I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake. Nothing’s gonna clean me out.’

Together they will weep, and laugh, and love, and heal, and work to make things better. Together they will keep moving forwards, always.

——

With all that picked apart, I think Caitlyn is a well rounded, flawed character, and she’ll always be up there as one of my favourites now. We see her go through hell and back and come out the other side with a good heart. She’s not perfect… but just like Vi, I love her.

[jikooklove9795]

NO GLUE IS STRONGER THAN JIKOOK 🤭

They come in pairs guysss 😭

Its their pattern, their habit because they're boyfriends/partners who likes to be around each other all the time.

Jikook glued together refusing to be apart:

Romancing the night away in public settings. The chest to back and hands on the hips are giving...

While taking showers. Not the first time. Definitely not 😅

Together at 4am. Jimin low key revealing that they sleep together

While taking naps during shoots

During team discussions

At parties

During Behind The Scenes

During award shows, giving off couple vibes

After concerts

Doing dance covers

Being late together

Arriving to sets together with Jungkook spotting a hickey from Jimin

Checking out their photoshoot pics together, with Jungkook's hand going inside Jimin's top

Doing AYS together which allowed them to travel together and spend time with each other (which in my opinion was their main intention) in between their hectic schedules

And enlisting together

Lately, it seems like Jimin and Jungkook are taking every opportunity to reassert the fact that they're together.

They have never shied away from showing us that they're the closest and that there is something between them that goes beyond friendship. They have been giving us all these hints from a very long time. And it reached its peak in 2023. I can't understand how some people could even doubt whether Jikook broke up during that time because they were the loudest in 2023. It was so obvious starting from Jungkook's lives all the way to Jimin's WHO MV, if you know what I'm implying.

And after the release of AYS they have been sharing more and more with us about themselves and what they're to each other.

Also, proving time and again that KARMA will come around.

Every Single Time:

1) Tkkrs were yapping about how Jungkook was dragged into AYS by Jimin and the company only for Jungkook himself to say that those were the best trips of his life and repeatedly expressing how happy he was in AYS Sapporo.

2) Tkkrs waiting for a taekook companion enlistment only for Jikook to do it instead. And we found out that Jikook had started the process months before.

Heard Tkkrs are still going on about how couples can't enlist and that Jungkook's tattoos were preventing him from enlisting with Taehyung. At this point they look so pathetic and I can't help but laugh when I read about their theories and excuses which keeps on changing.

3) Tkkrs and Jikook antis claimed that Jikook were avoiding each other like the plague during their enlistment only for Jungkook and Jimin to repeatedly confirm that they're together. Tkkrs harrasing Jimin and his Dad only for Jungkook to go live the next day, mention Jimin four times. Said they take showers together and basically confirmed that they spend time together everyday.

4) Jikook sending joint flower wreath over which k jkkrs went crazy over because that's a couple behaviour. They were the only individuals who sent a flower wreath together.

I can't understand this hate towards Jikook. Why would anyone be so against two people who love each other so deeply and want to spend their lives with each other creating memories and achieving their dreams. It looks like they're just jealous of Jimin and Jungkook's beautiful love something they may have never experienced in their own lives.

Was I too harsh there? I try to focus on supporting and celebrating Jikook rather than talking about certain groups of people but I guess sometimes it just comes out.

Apart from that I'm really excited for Jikook! They're returning very soon and I can't wait to see them together again. I'm also very curious to see how they're going to portray themselves to us, how much are they willing to share with us. During the last few months they have been sharing a lot with us probably more than I ever expected, starting with the release of AYS. They have shown us that their relationship has a very strong foundation and that all they need is each other to endure any obstacles that come their way.

Both of them are hardcore romantics at heart. You may ask how do I know that? Because of how they behave around and with each other. And it looks like they're going to be even more louder than they have ever been. I don't expect them to come out or anything and I wouldn't want that if they prefer to keep it private. That's their right and their choice and we have no place to question it. I'm very grateful for whatever they have given us so far because it has been loads especially considering they're still closeted. And I think that most of the time we see all these hints, signs and interesting behaviors from them, not only because they want to show them to us but because its in their nature to be attentive and attuned to each other. It comes naturally to them. But then there are times when they deliberately want to make a point and let us know without saying it explicitly. Because some things don't need to be stated vocally for us to understand. We can all see it and know exactly what's going on.

So yeah, I'm all buckled up for Chapter 3!

Credits to the owner of the video

[bibluebutterfly]

It is truthfully so impressive to watch how we've watched Stolas grow as a seemingly asshole character to a genuine person who truly does want the best for the person we love. (HEADS UP: This is LONG)

Now, and we're only going to lightly touch on this because the Pilot isn't cannon, but it still contributed to the public opinion on Stolas. In other words, he was borderline predatory in a way that made EVERYONE uncomfortable. (It makes sense though since he was innitially supposed to be the villain. Which thank goodness that was changed because we already see enough bisexual predators in media as it is. Yes, I'm headcannoning that Pilot Stolas was bi.)

Then we get official episode 1. Stolas is... not much better. Although to his credit, he's not as bad or as creepish. The unfair power dynamic is very there, and he definitely talks down to Blitz, but at least he waits until Blitz agrees before getting to the pilot level of sexual.

And then we kind of just keep this up until episode 7. Stolas is VERY sexual and VERY horny with Blitz, and you either like it or you don't. It was consensual, nobody forced anything, and even Blitz says that he doesn't fuss about banging Stolas, but that power imbalance is very much there.

Stolas is calling him by pet names like "my little imp" and is baby talking him, which really comes off like his fetish is sleeping with the lower class. Again, you either like Stolas at this point or you don't.

HOWEVER, despite all his baby talk and just generally inappropriate behavior, we are shown very early on that Stolas has a loving side, mainly in the form of his daughter. "You Will Be Okay" was the thing that got most people from hating him to actually liking him. It was the thing that separated him from just being a horny owl.

Then Ozzies. Hooo boy. This is where we finally get to see Stolas apart from Blitz's POV and as it turns out... he's kind of a pathetic dork more than anything else. We see him go very low. Like the man is alone in his big house eating cereal for breakfast in his bathrobe and watching telenovelas. It's hard to go lower than that. More importantly, it's a stark contrast from how we saw him just one episode ago.

Not just that, but when he's asked out on the date he is genuinely so excited and awkward that you just can't help but feel bad for the guy.

And then we have Hells healthiest couple have their dick moment which leads to Stolas covering his face, validating every and anything Blitz had feared, which lead to him calling out Stolas which leads to them both crying at home.

AND THEN WE GET THE THING THAT MAKES EVERYONE EITHER LOVE STOLAS OR THINK THAT HE'S RUINED.... THE CIRCUS.

Yeah, so it turns out the arranged marriage theory was true, and that Stella has been verbally abusive for who knows how long. But the real kicker is how much it explains Stolas's behavior from season 1. As it turns out, Blitz coming on so strong that night resulted in Stolas trying (badly) to copy that energy. And it turns out that when Blitz told him to stop that first night, he still ended up tying Stolas up and banging him. So... understandable. It turns out that Stolas never wanted to be malicious with his intentions, but genuinely thought that the arrangement was something that they both wanted.

But at the same time, he realizes that misunderstanding or no, a part of him did recognize that Blitz wasn't as happy as he was, and that he can't gaslight himself into thinking otherwise anymore.

Now the big thing about season 2 we all need to talk about, is how hard and fast it took Stolas off the regal and powerful pedestal that I think we all subconsciously put him on. Whatever mystery and darkness that surrounded him in season 1 went completely out the window in season 2. But personally I believe that this fits as season 1 was mostly told from Blitz's POV while season 2 takes place in Stolas's when he's there.

Stolas does not see himself as something regal and powerful. Stolas, as it turns out, is a romantic as well as a MASSIVE dork. Like he's disney princess levels of dorkiness. The man even gets his own slapstick moment for crying out loud.

But aside from that, he's highly intelligent and a genuinely good person who will put others before him if he can recognize the benefit.

Also, while we're on the topic, I don't think that Stolas is as powerful as we or Blitz were led to believe. Like yes, he's got immense power to those who have none.

But at the same time, put him next to Asmodeus, and this demon who seemed so strong before is actually tiny in comparison. Especially when noted that Ozzie was still holding back in this scene.

Now we have the "Look My Way" MV. By now, any dark mystery is gone, we know who Stolas is, but what we didn't expect to see was how blatantly Stolas realized his mistakes and took responsibility. This whole season we saw him be sad over his relationship with Blitz, but we never expected him to realize just how badly he messed up.

But he did. And it was glorious. And again, we realize how much he truly cares for Blitz, this isn't just him saying "I care about him" then doing nothing. This is him realizing he cares about Blitz, and wanting to do something to make it right. Even if that means Blitz will never want to see him again.

Anyway. If you made it this far, I'm impressed. As I've said before, I'm proud of the owl boy and how far he's come as a character. Tell me if you think I missed anything.

[rottenpumpkin13]

When or even if ever you're up for it:

What's the dumbest and/or most gullible thing AGSZC believed for a significant length of time?

What and/or who made them learn the truth?

How did they react to learning the truth?

Are they responsible for anyone else believing in that particular falsity?

What is the superior chicken soup; noodle or rice?

Angeal: Spent two whole years of his early SOLDIER career lovingly maintaining the "exotic flora" in the SOLDIER floor lobby. They were plastic. He watered them, whispered encouragement, even wrote a maintenance schedule. Lazard found him at 1 am before he clocked out, giving an impassioned speech to a dusty plastic fern about "persevering through the harsh Midgar climate." Tried arguing that Lazard just didn't understand "specialized horticulture" until Lazard physically unpotted one to show him the made-in-Junon sticker. Still mortified, but his legacy lives on. Zack gifted Aerith a succulent that "Angeal said is a rare desert species that only needs water once a month." She didn't have the heart to tell him it was plastic.

Genesis: Absolutely convinced that Sephiroth's hair used to be black and turned silver from the stress of war and training, based on a 47-page theory he read on "SephirothSecrets.com" at age 15. He held onto this belief for years, confidently citing it during casual conversations like it was common knowledge. The illusion shattered at age 22 during a heated argument, when Genesis dramatically pointed at Sephiroth mid-debate and yelled "At least your hair figured out how to cope by going silver before you did!"

Sephiroth, visibly perplexed, simply responded "…It's always been silver."

Genesis stood frozen in silence, reevaluating his life choices, before spending three days writing a scathing takedown of the website and drafting increasingly unhinged legal threats. But the damage was done. Zack casually told Angeal he'd found a single silver strand in his hair, grinning as he said "Guess you're turning into Sephiroth! One day, you'll be just as cool as him!"

Sephiroth: Read exactly one (1) friendship magazine article not long after befriending Genesis and Angeal. Became convinced that best friends regularly break into each other's apartments to deep clean as a sign of affection. Angeal was too polite to comment the first time he came home to find every surface sparkling and his socks arranged by color and thread count. Genesis was no stranger to nightmares, but nothing could have prepared him for the 3 am domestic terror of finding Sephiroth a 6'7 humanoid cryptid perched on a ladder, gently buffing lightbulbs. Then Sephiroth, utterly unfazed, glanced down and said "Your dim lighting is a disservice to our bond." Genesis hasn't slept right since.

Genesis and Angeal have tried to tell him how the magazine article was nonsense, and probably written by interns, but Sephiroth's reasoning of "I see no flaw in their logic" means he will keep doing it.

On the bright side, since befriending Sephiroth, Zack now thinks his dishes are self-cleaning.

Zack: Fully believed that SOLDIER members had to maintain their mako glow by "charging" under fluorescent lights, standing perfectly still, for at least two hours daily. Kunsel pranked him hard by convincing him it was "standard procedure" during his first week. Spent six months finding excuses to stand perfectly still under office lights until Angeal found him in the elevator, furiously doing squats, his eyes twitching as he muttered "I don't care if the glow is fading. If I don't move I'll die." Angeal calmly called for a medic to have Zack sedated. Kunsel still can't look at Zack standing under fluorescent lights without losing his shit.

Cloud: Arrived in Midgar absolutely certain that city folk communicated primarily through elaborate hand gestures, based on his mom's friend's cousin's description of "those fancy Midgar people." Spent his first year responding to everything with increasingly complex hand movements until Zack finally asked why he was "doing interpretive dance in the cafeteria line."

[rin-and-jade]

Are You? What about You? Them? : A Post about Differentiating Types of Parts.

We all know that spiderman meme where they pointed to each other because they share similar qualities that confuses their selves;

Like this. Right?

They all sounded so similar that we neither knew which is which at first glance..

And so, at the end of this post you will be confident in pointing out who is who, just like a spiderman who can tell apart from its own multiverse friends, that is. So let's get pointing to the smaller details!

How it works..

We know what it's like to be conscious, yeah? What if i were to tell you that yes, there are varying degrees of consciousness, and that we all can fluctuate on those levels too?

The levels of consciousness can vary from only being aware of its physical surroundings and react instinctually (lesser level), to being able to self-introspect and understand what they like and dislike (higher level). This is all dependent on many different factors and i want to clarify that it takes more than just 'awareness' to tell a fragment apart from an alter for example. But, still important to know what level its at.

This explains why shards, and fragments are less flexible when facing an issue, as they're more limited or not as equipped as an alter in terms of reasoning or level of logic/knowledge. So why is that? It can be from the intensity of dissociation, and other things like how much implicit and explicit memories it retains, this includes experiences.

How to tell them apart..

Sure, theres a spectrum to this too, as every type of part can be a bit different though still can categorized loosely, not meaning it has to fit perfectly to the box :

1. No sense of identity and, or tangible form/shape outside of performing a specific task, or hold a single memory/mood. (Shard)

2. Small sense of identity (a trait that is distinctive/distinguishable), possibly have a less blurry appearance than level 1 and still performs specific tasks, have little to no memories/range of emotions. (Shard)  

3. Mish mash of small qualities, but not enough to encapsulate an identity/personality, may have a sense of existing, and can emotionally react to environment/situation. Usually have a defined innerworld form, and may retain some memories but depends on origin, still fixed on role. (Fragment)

4. Has a developed dominant facet, which can be seen more lively and autonomous compared from level 1-3,, but still a bit rigid and have a narrow/limited view in general. Can distinguish and identify feelings, and have goals/hobbies/interests, self curiosity/exploration to function outside role. (Fragment, leaning to alter)  

5. Has a multifaceted personality in which it cannot defined by one word, fully knows its likes and dislikes, long term goals, morals, and a complex view on life. May have developed purpose outside role job, pursuing self-fulfillment. (Alter)

So in conclusion, shards are not wholly self aware and rely on current implicit memories, from my own system experience shards feels so blank, lifeless, somewhat robotic. Fragments have a partial sense of autonomy, it can rationalize and react to its own accord, reason, and learn/explore,, though had not fully know who they are. Alters are like any other usual people, where it has accumulated knowledge and experience that had shaped then throughout existing, reinforcing a faceted sense of self and purpose.

Growth to perfection..

Are you also wondering if shards and fragments can grow to an alter? The answer is, yes! Though some can be stuck in a certain stage, which is nothing to be ashamed about, and doesn't need changing.

Though, this takes a really long time and process, i note my own fragments will reach to a stage where it barely matches the loose category of an alter in 6 months, and to be a fully developed alter, it might need a whole year (okay this is my own calculations, other people will have it slower or faster).

To grow a shard towards a fragment category, my theory is that you have to interact with, and let them immerse/exprience the real world by supervision (outside of its role task) to develop more environmental, and self awareness. They will be very limited in terms of knowledge and names so this is a good time to start introducing these, and they may not even realize they exists themselves before sometimes,, try nudging them activities to experiment, and foods to taste, examine emotion wheel.. theres a lot to start from.

To grow a fragment to an alter, start introducing other views and complex topics, the goal here is to create a more developed understanding of life. From my experience, all my fragments have a dominant facet, e.g. angry dog vibes; and slowly let them learn how to be soft, or act more polite,, it will slowly solidify as a new facet, now capable of being kind and not always behaving threatening/i-will-still-bite-you attitude to every situation, as it now can be more flexible which facet it should use depending on situation.

Last words..

So, you are now an educated spiderman who can not only point out, but understand the basics of why,, and how to grow a part to have a better sense of awareness!

Let me know in the comments, i would like to hear why the part you had specifically picked/chose is possibly a shard/fragment/alter from your own reasoning and interactive mini discussion with me,, lets finally put them into real practice yeah?

Also, Happy Valentines, *offers you a free heart chocolate*

- j, your educational fiancée

[adddddiiii]

Grayson Hawthorne x ADHD!reader Headcanons #3

He always knows when you're zoning out mid-conversation and he'll start talking about some random conspiracy theory which he thinks is stupid just to bring you back. Because for whatever reason, you love talking about those

He silently judges your 6th half-finished project but loves how your brain never stops, even if it means your apartment is in shambles most of the time

He once made a deal with you: finish a task without getting distracted and he'll give you ice cream and unlimited kisses — he's still waiting for that day (he gives them to you anyway)

He knows your attention span is short and that you can't help it, so he masters the art of telling you stuff in 30 seconds or less

Whenever you say "I'll be there in a minute" or something like that, Grayson knows that he has atleast 20 minutes to get comfortable

One of his favourite things to do is slowly walk up to you from behind and tap you lightly when you're hyperfocused just to see whether you'll jump out of your skin

But if you get upset when he does that he'll apologize and make you a snack 🤷‍♀️

"You have to take a break now anyway, love. You've been working for hours. Here, eat."

Grayson can't help but chuckle when you lose your train of thought while speaking, but then calmly helps you find your way back

"You were saying... about the penguins?"

He's now great at pretending that he didn't just watch you walk into a room, forget why, and walk back out — because it happens basically every day

He always seems to find things you didn't even remember losing

He once tried to organize your desk but you ended up needing half an hour to explain the "perfect" chaos that only made sense to you

"I still don't understand why you need so many pens."

"I just do, Gray!"

pt. 1 | pt. 2

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

what even is this old salty meow meow & old mossy hop pop

one (1) person (edit: 4 people by the time I finished making the post) said they wanted my calico jack and ranger marsh doodles and while I dont feel like giving full context I just wanna say that AAAAUUUUGGHHHKKKJJHHHGHH I LOVE THEMMMM ans also thoughts about regrets about life choices, isolation, and changing the way you live to allow others in your life and be happier

Idk if they're like Really Good Friends or what

(Also cj is a gremlin to people who aren't younger than him, he plays up this (mischievious) wet meow meow ahh persona cuz hes lonely as hell ) (also marsh is just dealing with this feral stray cat who forced himself into his life and he's just questioning his life choices while he was already having a mid life crisis)

Also cj is NOT a "poor old sweet meow meow" hes filled with trauma LMSO and marsh is just thr most autistic old guy ever

Kwazii imemdiatly had a flashback to his childhood and understood what cj was doing (charming up marsh) purely based off of his VIBES while standing silently ... he's not judging but like??? Srsly tweaks DAD out of all people??? They're actually both 50s. Marsh is just there like well ill be damned by meomi if I don't admit this is just my life now mo

More under cut

Cjs ex (they divorced amicably) found marsh eith this feral cat man at the 7/11 gas station... She has her theories.

He knows what he's doing....

Marsh is so tired bro, but this is his first time having like an actual friend 💀 like one he can connect with emotionally yk?

This guy is legit just a stray cat that decided to enter fr (his dead wife told him to get a grip and quit being such a loner in his dreams. They talk every Tuesday night and he heard her voice on the wind.... HES NOT CRAZY YOU ARE)

I will annoy you until you're so annoyed you love me. Because bro u look so sad being stubborn and alone, and if u keep only talking to wild animals ur gonna end up like me :3 also dang bro u make some good mac n cheesecan I have some

Hess shyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and also doesn't know how to be vulnerable or express his needs-

To clarify whats happening here: cats (and alot of other species) mostly just do lil groom links to the face (like a mom to their child) or on the top of thr hand (super romantic, trust) but since cj was in the amazon for like nearly a decade or wtv hes kinda just lost normal people understanding lol... still a very kind and patient soul but damn if he isn't annoying when he wants to be

Two bros chilling on the front porch in the morning (doing that old man silent stare into the sky) less than 5 inches apart cuz theyre not g-

If u made it this far like congrats I guess if u guys want me to be insane more often lmk ig

... ok but funny joke I made is just "oh me oh my meomi" I think thats great anyways cringe is dead and I am free but pls don't judge me still 💀

If yall want to know more of my thoughts on them lmk ig???

[stylesclarified]

Hi! I really like your blog and your responses.

I Never was a fan of Larry but still curious about it. Most things look very far fetched to me and I don’t understand how people believe in it.

But there are a few things that keep me uncertain and left me wondering:

1) when fetus Harry answered that he and Louis are dating. Like why?

2) Mario interview when they used sex innuendo (who push who)

3) why Harry moved in with Louis?

4) Adore you my and book Louis the fish references

Can you please explain/debunk them? Tell what you think?

Hey, thanks! I'm glad you like it.

I hope you realize that each of these debunks, by definition, has to be quite long. We're talking about a decade and a half of lore. It's quite a bit of work. I'd appreciate it if from now on, you'd send them in separate asks, because I don't really know if I can fit it all in one post.

1- "When fetus Harry answered that he and Louis are dating. Like why?"

First of all, I hate the term "fetus Harry." I hate this whole classifying Harry by "eras" as if he was a Pokemon that evolved. It's dehumanizing.

Harry did not say that he and Louis were dating. That's a typical Larrie lie—taking what actually happened out of context.

Let's actually give it the context it needs.

From late 2010 on, fans "shipped" all the guys together in a bunch of different pairings. Larry was the most popular one, with Niam—Niall and Liam—not far behind. Harry and Louis were actually very close friends for a hot second, and the band in general was very online. They did Twitcams all the time, and followed and replied to fans constantly. One Direction and Justin Bieber spearheaded what's today known as Stan Twitter.

Larry was a joke everyone participated in. For instance the following two screenshots come from the same blog.

The post about Eleanor is from February 24 2012, and the post about Larry from February 27. Same year, same blog—three days apart.

So, how did it go from a joke to a conspiracy theory?

When One Direction first got put together, Louis had a girlfriend called Hannah. For the most part, fans of the band really liked her. Louis met Eleanor in March 2011, seemingly cheated on Hannah with Eleanor, broke up with Hannah in late July 2011, and by mid September 2011 was openly dating Eleanor.

Fans did not take well to this (even though the whole cheating thing wasn't really known). In fact, in late 2011 and early 2012, the main issue Louis defended Eleanor from wasn't conspiracy theorists, but fans of Hannah that wanted her back.

When he tweeted this—note the YOU in all caps...

It was because that day was Hannah's birthday and fans were tweeting up a storm about wanting Louis and Hannah back together. They were also tweeting pictures of them together and allegedly even sent those pictures to Eleanor directly.

Louis felt bad and defensive, so he decided to tweet that.

Parallel to this, since about late 2011, a group of people on Tumblr were taking the whole Larry thing seriously—going from joking about it to trying to prove it was actually real. It was a very small number of weirdos, and it would've probably never taken off had this whole Eleanor/Hannah thing not happened at the same time as Harry was starting to date Caroline Flack, who was 15 years Harry's senior.

Harry had been linked to other women before, but he was seen with Caroline a bit, was asked about it in interviews, and they interacted some on social media, which enraged fans. They mostly claimed it was the age gap (which would've been a fair criticism), but it was clear that for most the problem was jealousy (which is not fair at all).

In the context of Louis dumping the girlfriend the fandom liked and getting with someone they didn't, and Harry dating an older woman they definitely didn't like, impressionable fans started to get swayed more and more by conspiracy theories.

At first, it was a majority of jokes and a small number of people believing the conspiracy theories, but over time, slowly, it started to shift. Between 2010 and 2012, you could be just "A Larry shipper"—someone who liked them together and joked about it. From 2013 on, Larry shippers were basically extincted, replaced instead by "Larries", conspiracy theorists who truly believed they were together and tried to prove it.

When it was mostly jokes, Harry, Louis, and their friends and family, would go along with them. Almost all of "Larry proof" is those early stages, when there wasn't an actual conspiracy theory that was widespread yet and everyone followed along with the jokes.

Harry and Louis were close friends, and their moms also became quite close (they were of a similar age, similar area, background, both divorced, etc). Everyone went along with it. Until it started to get out of hand.

Now, if Louis was defensive about the whole Louhannah thing, I think you can only imagine how defensive he would get about the whole Larry thing when it started to cross over into conspiracy territory...

Fans not only insulted Eleanor, but started to directly harass her. They would email her university to "prove" that she wasn't who she said she was. They made theories about who her father was (Eleanor has posted her dad on Snapchat—it is not, in fact, a billionaire working for Jive Records). There was a whole whack ass theory about her having a twin/triplets... They started involving Louis' family—mainly his mom and sisters. They would pressure them to "confirm" Larry, and they'd get upset whenever it was denied.

Louis' sisters were quite young—Lottie was 13/14, Fizzy was 11/12, and the twins were 9/10 when all of this was brewing. They looked up to Eleanor, who became like an older sister to them, and they got pretty defensive of her, as little kids often do.

So, in turn, Louis got more upset at the whole thing and would often go on rants on Twitter to deny it. Eleanor and Louis' best friend, Stan, would also tweet alongside him. Sadly, this contributed to the proliferation of the conspiracy. The more attention he brought onto it, the worse it became. I don't blame him for it, to be perfectly clear, but that's just a version of the Streisand effect.

This whole thing unfolded between late 2011 and late 2012. It wasn't immediate. It wasn't that one day everyone was joking and the next everyone was a conspiracy theorist. It shifted slowly.

So, that's the context.

The interaction you mention happened March 17th 2012. One Direction was doing a signing in Boston. Their debut album, Up All Night, had come out March 13th in America, so they were signing that. A fan approached the table and talked to all the guys. Harry was last in line. When she got to him, Harry gave her a smile and she asked him, "Are you and Louis dating?" Harry looked quite tired (they all did) and didn't seem particularly amused by the question. He just nodded. The fan pressed, "You are?" to which Harry gave her a lazy, "Yeah." Then the fan said, "I figured," and, as she was ushered to leave the line, Harry gave her a lazy smile.

Here you have the video. The specific interaction starts at 1:03 mins.

Here you have it in gif form

He didn't say they were dating. He just went along with a fan who joked about it. She was JOKING.

This is from the fan who asked this question, THE DAY after she asked the question. Not much of a Larrie if she's fantasizing about Harry romantically, huh? But I have more confirmation.

She actually thinks it's ridiculous that people are still going on about it, and thinks her question was "stupid". She quite literally wanted him to date Taylor Swift later that year...

She also confirmed that Harry was "being sarcastic":

So the fact that thirteen years later we're still having this conversation is insane. This is the person that took the video. She was never even a conspiracy theorist to begin with. She just liked them together.

And this is 100% the same fan. Her name is the same in both accounts (Daena), and she linked her old Twitter handle in the description of the video. It used to be YMCMBelieb. She has changed her Twitter handle since 2012, but if you search the old one on Twitter today, you'll find people replying to "Pogue_Malone."

Larries take Harry smiling at her "I figured" as him "being moved by her support." He was smiling at a fan who had paid to get his signature. He smiled at her when she first approached him, then smiled again as she left. The fan DIDN'T EVEN ACTUALLY THINK HE WAS WITH LOUIS. She was JOKING.

I'm going to answer #2 in this post but I'll move to separate posts for the other two.

2- Mario interview when they used sex innuendo (who push who)

I'm adding this one here because it's just the same exact thing as we just went over. It was a joke. Harry and Louis are BRITISH.

British humour carries a strong element of satire aimed at the absurdity of everyday life. Common themes include sarcasm, tongue-in-cheek, banter, insults, self-deprecation, taboo subjects, puns, innuendo, wit, and the British class system. These are often accompanied by a deadpan delivery which is present throughout the British sense of humour.

The "Mario Kart" interview happened in February 16th 2012. Combine your typical British humor with the context of how the fandom treated the whole "Larry" thing in early 2012" and you have your answer.

They're just joking. I don't know what else to tell you. They're joking. They're not openly discussing their sex life in an interview. Larries need to choose—were they a closeted couple that was forced to have fake girlfriends and limit their interactions in public or were they telling the world what sexual positions they favored? You can't have both at the same time.

Here's the interview:

It was posted in March but recorded in February. And they thought it'd be funny to joke about bumfucking. Because they were British boys.

I'm almost finished with the third question, but it'll have to be done in two separate posts if I want to be thorough.. I'll also do a separate post for the fourth one.

[lestatlioncourtt]

I apologize in advance because this one is really long but here it is! all the stranger things (and some byler) theories I either came up with or saw somewhere in the last weeks!!! please feel free to share your thoughts on them whatever they are just be respectful please! I would be really happy to talk about them!! (I know some on them are conflicting between each other but I just gathered as many theories as possible, I also know some of them are really weird and kind of out of pocket but whatever)

1. max, eleven and will die

2. mike dies

3. will is still some sort of spy for the upside down but now is not for the shadowmonster but to vecna

4. will has powers and that's why he was able to survive in the upside down meanwhile barb died almost instantly

5. vecna is gonna erase every memory that will's friends and family have of him (aka erase him from existence)

6. mike will be vecnas target so he can get to both will and elevens weakness

7. mike and eleven will breakup (still in the beginning of the season)

8. will is gonna die right after confessing his feelings for mike or mike is gonna find out about wills feelings for him right afer will dies

9. eleven is the only one who dies (maybe sacrificing herself bc she may have a connection to vecna and the only way he can die is if she dies too)

10. both will and eleven die

11. my favorite theory: BYLER ANYTHING ABOUT BYLER, BYLER CANON, BYLER CONFESSION, BYLER KISS, MIKE WHEELER REALIZING HE HAS FEELINGS FOR WILL BYERS

12. everyone thinks steve is going to die but i actually think hes pretty safe, and if he were to die i don't think he would be the only one, he would die along with another main character

13. important byler scene in episode 5

14. mike and Lucas sacrificing themselves for will/eleven and max

15. more of a wish than a theory, NANCY NEEDS TO END UP W JONATHAN AND NOT W STEVE PLEASE

16. The dragon in will's painting for mike is actually a new monster they're going to be fighting in season 5 (because we already now the monsters are all after creatures that exists in dnd like the demogorgon and vecna and will's painting is dnd related)

17. byler in a bar in the 90's after they graduate

18. Holly(Mike's sister) goes missing and Mike and will go after her and get closer to each other in the process

19. will is going to be staying at the wheelers when they move back to hawkins now that they probably don't have their own house anymore

20. mike talking with nancy and realizing his relationship with el is falling apart or talking w nancy about will and realizing his feelings for him in the middle of it (maybe nancy is also talking about Steve and Jonathan, making a parallel between their love triangles)

21. byler is going to become canon and shortly after that one of them dies

22. flashback scene of mike and will meeting each other for the first time when they we're 8 years old at a swing

23. the first scene of the first episodes of season 5 showing will as he arrives/falls into the upside in the first episode of season 1

24. in season 4 Eddie has a line that goes "it's forced conformity. That's what's killing the kids" > possibly being a foreshadowing to mike or will dying because they tried to fit and follow the social norms. (aka being straight)

25. will confessing to mike or the other way around while they're battling against vecna or a new monster that is going to be introduced

26. byler kiss with heroes by David bowie playing in the background

27. will and Robin talking with each other about how they understand each other (aka being gay, but maybe they don't even realize the other is talking about this)

28. max is not physically alive but she can still help the party mentality(?) like helping they defeat vecna inside of her mind

29. if eleven doesn't die maybe she surrenders herself to the lab so her friends and family won't be involved in these supernatural stuff anymore

30. mike e will are going to help the kids from the hawkins lab to escape

31. will and holly (Mike's sister) both have powers and were supposed to be two of the kids from the hawkins lab

32. will cleaning Mike's wounds or the other way around

33. byler sharing a bed

34. Mike, Will, Lucas, Dustin and Steve are all going to survive and we'll see them years after the events of season 5

35. hopper is dying for real this time (tbh i don't think so but who knows)

37. ROBIN IS NOT GOING TO DIE THAT'S MY WIFE AND YOU CANNOT TAKE HER FROM ME

36. i saw a girl saying mike, will eleven and hopper all die, but hopper dies before the other 3 (i also dont believe this one but you never know)

38. the upside down was created by vecna FOR WILL

39. the first part releases October 10 and the other releases November 27

40. everyone survives but the party splits apart and everyone goes their own way

41. our 4 divas suffering bullying again at hawkins high school 😭

42. will taking care of Mike's bruises

43. will does NOT have powers and vecna purposefully made him survive the upside down on season 1 just so he can use him as a puppet in season 5

that's it!!! I hope you guys liked some of my theories and feel free to share yours too, we need to occupy our minds while waiting season 5 to drop and what better way than theorizing?

[floatingshark]

This has been in my head for like weeks and it's what makes me struggle to actually finish arcane LMFAO. For context ive been mostly interacting with arcane stuff on tiktok and ive seen some stuff and opinions that doesn't sit well with me.

also on another note i havent fully finished arcane, i stopped at s2 ep6 so ep7 to 9 i have no prior knowledge apart from spoilers i got bc of arcane edits.

and on one last note, if you disagree or agree with me in this you're free to express it. just be civil. we can all be adults and we know how to understand so just mind your words bc people on tiktok state their opinion so aggressively, it is not needed. we dont need that energy here.

okay so with that out of the way, like i said ive seen a lot of tiktoks lately and i want to kind of speak my mind (technically rant) about some of the discourse regarding characters and whatnot. This is going to be long.

also, spoilers.

so first up is caitlyn. How do i start?

Caitlyn:

I do love caitlyn... in season 1.

in s2 not so much but hear me out. a lot of people have been debating on her actions and how half the fandom hate her, half love her (some a little,,, off putting but ill get into that later) and here's my unneeded take. I don't think its valid. like her actions in s2 are so morally wrong it blows my mind.

first of all, Im not going to say that its ooc of her because that doesnt make sense to say. this cant be ooc (in my perspective) because we have never seen caitlyn angry to the point of doing this. this is our (or my) first time seeing her go through grief this bad that it has her making decisions we dont particularly agree with or is objectively right to do. we cant say that this is "out of character" because we had'nt had prior idea or knowledge to how she'd cope with her mother's passing.

second off, like i said i dont think its valid. yes, i understand her actions are a result of her mothers untimely passing but we can't keep saying that it was right of her to do what she did.

we can empathize and we can understand that what she's doing is because she's had enough of jinx putting the people of piltover in danger because obviously she cares about these people, and it put her over the edge the day that her mother died because of jinx. but it doesnt mean that her actions were right objectively (i say objectively because we all have different moral compasses).

lets get into what she did

her actions consist of:

-gassing the undercity (even after watching an entire documentary/history lesson about how her mother built the ventilation systems to keep the grey out of the undercity)

i dont want to hear people saying that it never showed people dying, it was only used on the gangs, the goons, and jinx. people, we dont need to see people dying to know that the grey has been a problem zaunites have had to deal with for years until cassandra (cait's mom) built those vents.

yes, you can say that they didnt show people dying, doesn't mean that using it wont have consequences if anyone that was innocent does get affected. gas spreads, it moves, it can and it will affect anyone in the vicinity or anyone that comes across it. how do you know that it didnt affect anyone?

even in a moral lens, isnt it just wrong to use the grey ( which in the real world might be equal to something like tear gas. theory tho, going off of tear gas effects) to "clear out" the streets of the undercity where homeless people litter the streets, where children, old people, and people with disabilities roam freely?

-the scene where she insisted she wont miss her shot at jinx

for this one, i think she said this because she was obviously frustrated. she believed in her abilities and she had jinx right in front of her and obviously she wasn't thinking straight.

but people, i cant defend her when i saw her miss her shot just a minute prior. she can think that about herself, that she can shoot past isha and hit jinx in the head, i cant. like i said she missed, it is absolutely not a guarantee to her that they wont move once she pulls the trigger, which is exactly why she hit jinx in the finger instead, and almost killed vi before too.

like its more understandable for me that that statement would come from her, than if it came from someone that was watching the show.

with that, i think i covered mainly my thing with caitlyn. i do empathize, and i do think that for someone thats grieving and angry, her actions can be understandable in that perspective. i do not however, think her actions are justified, especially bc its borderline fascist (if not already). she's a dictator in simpler terms and its just so wrong no matter how i look at it.

i mentioned earlier as well that there were caitlyn supporters that were off putting, but honestly even caitlyn haters can be the same so really its not just a one sided thing going on. the least we can do with this topic, especially because its not black and white, is be civil and just talk about it properly we dont need aggression.

Jayce:

I love jayce, i truly do. well, for the most part.

this rant simply started bc i saw people saying he's privileged, he's egotistical etc, etc.

here is my take.

some people (might just be one actually) see jayce as a minority, or an immigrant and believe that that erases his privilage. but let's talk about it.

no matter if jayce is a minority, or an immigrant, it does not erase that he is from a known house (even if its small) and lives in piltover. he is in the academy, a known scientist and inventor, and he's part of the council. where is the privilege? right there.

he has privilege, why are we erasing that? he has the privilege to live in piltover, to study and learn, to meet with the highest of the highs that control and lead their entire nation, to be known as a great inventor and scientist who, through hextech, has improved the lives of many, who bears a name that is recognizable as a house, and even if he is not equal in wealth with salo or mel, is still equal in status because he now stands amongst them in the same rank and has mel beside him to get the other counselors on board with his plans or ideas.

he has privilege, we cant erase that just because he's an immigrant, because objectively he's living a life better than anyone in the undercity does. hell, viktor has privilege because he's living in piltover now, he no longer lives in the undercity where people struggle, get hunted down, and killed.

thats mostly what i wanted to talk about, i cant say if he is egotistical because i cant remember him being one? arrogant in a way, maybe. but egotistical im not so sure.

with that note.. thats all the word vomiting i can do. but mainly my main gripe is how s2 loses what i loved with the s1 storyline and its the oppression that piltover has on the undercity. it could have been even better if they had handled it properly but i guess it just gets erased like that..

anyways, like i said im up for discussion. you're free to dicuss, to correct, to agree because i can admit i might be forgetting about certain scenes or diaogue or whatnot and its good to be educated and to learn from other people as well.

so, idk, dont take this too personally. at the end of the day it is a show, with important storylines, but still just a show nevertheless. we dont need to be so personal and so aggressive with debates, we can have it like adults, and we can have opinions and thats okay.

thanks for listening lmao

[briebysabs]

Vnc OP 1 - Sora to Utsuro

We are here again! I’ll be taking the time to talk of VnC’s first opening and breaking down the lyrics. Specifically in regards to what I will refer to as the dream loop theory. If you don’t know what I mean by that, the base summary is that the VnC universe is a story. Noé is the narrator, the character, the archiver and the creator. Noé is writing the memoires to manifest his memories. Let’s call it a memory world. He does this either to escape his regret-filled reality or to save Vanitas. However, when he “loops”, he doesn’t remember why he’s there so everything plays out the way it was written in the memoires.

Then Noé will live on, write the memoires again, and the cycle continues. And because he’s done this countless times, the memoirs gradually stray away from the original story. I’ll elaborate further when talking about OP 1. Right about now!

This was the main translation I could find for the full song (not including English covers but I could reach the same conclusions for those as well) If anyone has other translations for the whole thing, I’d love to see it. https://youtu.be/G_bJwB1YePw?si=xPVlV3_Fd57S-Bo1

/You’re pondering the simple things, pretty much human emotions and love/

/I hope one day you’ll understand/

/Too many wounds have left you patched together, a miserable sight/

/That doesn’t even know the definition of alive/

It is confirmed that this opening is from Noe’s POV. But keep in mind for the rest of this thread, it’s future Noé speaking. There are two main readings for the song; for the most part it’s Noé talking to or about Vanitas. And then there’s Noé talking to himself. This part has both interpretations.

Noé to Vanitas: Vanitas does struggle to understand his emotions throughout the story, that includes love. Vanitas is a broken individual, has too many wounds/trauma Noé cannot ignore and for a long time, was fueled by getting his “revenge”. Thus he’s forgotten what it means to live. You can also read into “doesn’t know the definition of alive” in a meta sense, from the beginning of the story he’s already dead.

And the very name ‘Vanitas’ is surrounded with the imagery of death, futility and mortality. So yes, Vanitas as a concept doesn’t know what ‘alive’ is.

Noé to himself: Noé as well is trying to figure out human emotions. This is a case study of a human after all. The memoirs follow Noe’s journey in understanding Vanitas’ thinking. And we’ve had Noé blatantly ask Vanitas what love means. But we can read this as Noé , sort of telling his past self that one day he will understand and feel this pain. Take note of “many wounds have left you patched together”. As I said, he could be talking about how “fragile” Vanitas is but what if this is about himself?

/No need to say “just the two of us” or anything/

/I have a feeling we can understand each other/

/And that’s fine for now/

This is calling to the Catacombs Arc, where Vanitas repeats Noe’s line of being able to do anything together. Interesting enough, it’s that arc where we see a bit of Vanitas’ backstory and it ends with the two sitting against each other. An understanding has been reached. Of course we all know that’s what VnC is about but of course he adds the ‘for now’ because what would this show be without its looming doom.

/I love this world and the light only you give me/

/Makes the world I see through these fractured eyes/

/Look gleaming and bright/

It’s these verses that made me want to spend more time on this. First of all, ‘I love this world’, a little weird right? I can only hope this translation is the most accurate but we’re saying ‘this’ instead of ‘the world’. Makes it sound like “I like this one. I prefer this one.” And ‘the light only you give me’ is very odd if we’re saying this is from Noe’s POV. Emphasis on ONLY.

Another reason why I believe it’s future Noé singing because why would present Noé say Vanitas is the only light he has? Vanitas is the only thing keeping him from falling apart. Vanitas being the sole reason Noé loves the world…doesn’t line up with the Noé we’re seeing now. Now it could be Vanitas is a “special” light. But that kinda raises more alarms because Vanitas is very admired in this song guys. And present Noé I feel wouldn’t be so sure in proclaiming this. The world being seen through fractured eyes could be multiple things. We know Noé sustained an injury on his left eye when Teacher bought him.

This could feed into a theory that has been speculated over the years that Noe’s vision was permanently altered and he sees things from that eye differently. Of course, it could refer to future Noe’s perception of life being broken due to the events of the series. Thus why Vanitas is the one thing that makes it gleaming and bright. You could then ask “But Vanitas is gone in the future so how is that possible?” In comes my theory. It’s interesting how Noé is often associated with light, the sun etc. but here we see him give those characteristics to Vanitas’ presence.

/There’s no such thing as a sure thing/

/But you can see me can’t you?/

Things get a little fuzzy here. Obviously, nothing is sure, nothing lasts forever. This period of happiness will pass. But “you can see me”. Assuming this world is a memory, this could be Noé being elated from seeing Vanitas. That his plan has worked. But you can also interpret this, I forgot who pointed it out but ty whoever you are, that this is the one moment Vanitas interjects in the song. Essentially saying, “you can see me, so this is not real.” As if trying to wake Noé up. And if you look at the OP itself, for most of it Vanitas is following or lagging behind Noé like a ghost. There’s even a part where Noé is looking at a drawing of a view instead a real one, Vanitas is yelling at him, trying to get his attention and Noé ignores him completely. Not to mention the OP starts and ends with Noé sleeping, Vanitas nor his belongings ever in the room almost as if it was all a dream hmmm.

You can see this also as Noé acknowledging the world he has created is only temporary. Noé knows this isn’t real, isn’t a sure thing. But then Vanitas comes in to be like “you can see me, can’t you. So is it that bad?”

/I’m pondering the simple things, pretty much emptiness and frigidity/

/One by one lies have increased/

/Playing with a simple puppet/

/My rusted head is shaking/

We’ve contrasted “human emotions and love” with “emptiness and frigidity” here. Frigid here means the bitter cold, stiff, lacking in warmth. The opposite of what Noé says this world gives him so safe guess, he’s talking about the reality he is escaping. Where Vanitas is dead as well as a lot of his friends. The lies have built upon each other, adding to my theory where the numerous times Noé has done this has created layers upon layers of worlds. And each one has more inaccuracies than the last. This is his story, a play, he is the writer and the puppeteer of everyone’s roles. When they appear, what they say and do is decided by what Noé writes in the memoires. But by all the loops he’s made himself a puppet too. His head being rusted could hint at many, many years passing since everything happened. What’s even more interesting is remember, Vanitas is the one usually associated with cold and emptiness. So why is Noé assigning those things to his thoughts? It really shows how future Noé has come to view Vanitas vs himself. Because ignoring any theories or whatever for a second, future Noé is clearly burdened with regrets and hate towards himself.

/Your laughing was reflected by a daydream/

/Without knowing yet we just want to laugh/

/Throw away the answer, whatever you want is fine for now/

We circle back to the dream thing again. What is a daydream? It’s something you fantasize about when you are bored or in need of a distraction. A reflection looks and behaves exactly like you, copies your movements, but is it real? We all know mirrors and reflections play a major role in the story. Whether having mirrors or frames in official art or volume covers. Characters reflecting each other like Vanitas/Astolfo, Domi/Louis, Ruthven/Noé etc. I think the “throw away the answer” is interesting, it could be Noé again knowing what the “right” thing to do is but is desperate to see Vanitas laugh. Feels very much like a “oh forget about all that, what do you wanna do?” Noé putting other people before himself and being selfless to a fault.

/I love this world that lacks everything/

/If the mechanical echoes/

/Everything seems to be laughable/

/I can’t be proud of it/

/But isn’t the burning dream beautiful/

Why would you love a hollow world? This is Noé saying this. How can a world lack everything if it’s meant to be real? Unless it isn’t. Unless it lacks what you truly desire even if you claim to love it regardless. Echoes fall into the same vein as reflections I brought up previously. ‘Mechanical’ implies it’s a machine, tying back to it being empty and hollow. Lacking realness. And it’s funny, Noé says he’s not proud of it. His world, his creation if you will. That it’s laughable even but then goes on to call it beautiful. Think about that for a minute. The dream is burning because Vanitas will always die no matter what Noé does. Everything will go up in flames, it’s only temporary but guess what? To Noé, this fleeting period of happiness is far better than whatever he has left when he wakes up.

/When the sky and the void meet look back because the dreams will come later/

/When the sky and the void meet look back be still in bloom/

/When the sky and the void meet born and die repeatedly/

/The future and lies break and laugh/

We’ll stop here because the song then goes back to the first chorus “I love this world and the light you give me” stuff. This part of the OP I would say is the most vague, you can read this a lot of ways. However you want to interpret it, there is a clear loop going on. We can see “sky and void” as metaphors for Vanitas and Noé. Personally I’d say Noé is the void because of that official art that has Vanitas with a clear sky in the background and Noé is sinking into the darkness. Similar to when he drinks someone’s blood and sees their memories.

But while Vanitas has a few purple butterflies, Noé is given that distinct glowing blue butterfly. Vanitas is Noe’s light. We talk about that art for hours but that's for another day. Plus given how Noé talks in this song, it’s safe to say he sees himself as the void. And once they meet the dreams will come later, to be born and die repeatedly. Meeting could be their actual meeting from chapter one and the cycle/memory world begins from there. It could be wherever fuck they were when Noé failed to grab Vanitas’ hand. The future and lies….what lies? Who my dear readers would be lying to us :000. But eventually that mountain of lies will come tumbling down.

And, no theory just pure delulu I’ve always headcanoned that when Vanitas dies Noé is going to break out laughing. So if that happens the op spoiled it.

[oprahwinfreyjrjr]

24 unanswered Frenchie and Kimiko questions

What would have happened if Little Nina hadn’t kidnapped Frenchie? We saw those secret smiles on Kimiko and Frenchie’s faces. I want to see the conversation that happened when he came back from his quiet freak out at the coffee machine.

Why did Frenchie leave after Kimiko kissed him? Was he overwhelmed? Scared? Did he not feel that way at the time?

How the hell did they get back to the office after escaping Nina? Frenchie was butt naked and in rough shape. Kimiko was in a hospital gown, covered in blood. Cherie was not much better. That must have been an interesting Uber ride.

What is Frenchie’s famous cassoulet recipe?

In season 1, they are running for their lives, hiding from Vought in this safe house. At what point was Frenchie like, “Ah yes, this is the perfect time to bake madeleines with this feral girl. Add eggs, flour, and butter to the supplies list.”?

In a bonus scene is Season 2, Frenchie tells Cherie that he would never sleep with Kimiko. Was he lying to her? Or lying to himself?

When exactly did Kimiko figure out what “mon coeur” means?

He still looks totally cute but I would like to understand the reasoning behind Frenchie’s very elaborate, kitten whisker-y facial hair in Season 4. Choices were made!

Speaking of, he spent a not insignificant amount of time in prison. Why does he look so hot and perfectly groomed? When Butcher sprang him from prison, did he let Frenchie stop by his apartment to do a line up before his reunion with Kimiko?

Are Frenchie and Kimiko roommates? If they are roommates I want a whole season of domestic scenes with these two.

Do they share clothes?

Does Cherie come over to hang out? I’ve always been curious about how Kimiko feels about her.

When they came to M.M.’s apartment after escaping Nina, did they stop by Costco to pick up a bottle of Kirkland Signature whiskey or did they already own it?

When exactly did they fall for each other? And when did they each come to the realization that they were in love with the other? I feel like we were a tiny bit cheated out of some scenes of unrequited sexual tension because Eric Kripke dragged his feet about these two getting together for too long. (And my theory is up until the beginning of this season, he only caved because the chemistry was undeniable and the fans wanted it.)

Did Kimiko really sleep with the Jitterbean barista or was she just overcompensating?

How does Frenchie know the signs for “penis” and “vagina?” I can’t see Kimiko needing to use those words with her brother. So did she and Frenchie create those signs together? And how did it come up in the first place???

Frenchie was totally in a throuple with Cherie and Jay, right?

Will Frenchie now act extra territorial around Kimiko when they get coffee? He doesn’t strike me as a jealous guy but I could see him making an exception for her.

Will Frenchie take Compound V?

After he sawed off Kimiko’s leg, did he spend the rest of the day carrying her around while she healed?

What happened to Frenchie’s mother? How did he escape his father?

Why does Frenchie know so much about bombs and bioweapons?

How did he end up moving to The States? How did he become friends with Cherie and Jay? I feel like I could watch multiple seasons of a Frenchie prequel.

How is Kimiko going to get out of prison? How will she rescue Frenchie? And how will he react when he finally hears her voice?

[crowleysgirl56]

Something that I’ve been thinking about for a good 6 months now, ever since Good Omens season 3 was green lit, and that was the three sentence description of the plot that Neil gave in his official announcement interview:

The plans for Armageddon are going wrong. Only Crowley and Aziraphale working together can hope to put it right. And they aren’t talking.

It really makes me think about the book sequel he and Terry had discussed and what was going to be included in that story.

Season 2 was thought to be that story. But then Neil confirmed after the season aired that it was in fact a bridging season that he wrote deliberately in order to get us to season 3, which would be based on the story that he and Terry plotted together in the 90’s and early 2000’s.

Neil also famously never gives anything about his stories away, always excited to tell us to ‘wait and see’. The fact we get this much of a description is quite exciting.

At first glance it doesn’t seem like anything we didn’t already know:

The plot involves Armageddon: Metatron told us as much when he mentioned the second coming at the end of season 2.

Crowley and Aziraphale need to work together: they have always done so before, so this time shouldn’t be any different.

Crowley and Aziraphale aren’t talking: very evident from where we left off.

But did you notice something else? Something hiding in plain sight? The plans are going wrong. And they hope to put it right. So what are these plans? Why are they going wrong? Who made them go wrong? What exactly does going wrong mean? What does putting them right mean? Also, notice how Neil doesn’t say Crowley and Aziraphale need to work together to stop it. Interesting choice of words right?

Now let’s think about the book sequel for a second. For a moment, let’s pretend that the TV series doesn’t exist (*shakes everyone by the shoulders* HEY, STOP SCREAMING! CALM DOWN! The show STILL exists! Just go with me for a second here, and you can go back to remembering the show in a moment! It’s OKAY! *pats everyone until the screaming subsides*). The Good Omens novel is structured with flashback sequences of Aziraphale and Crowley together over time as the story of the Anti-Christ and the Non-Ageddon unfolds. What if the three sentence description of season 3 that Neil gave was the actual tagline of the book sequel? Like, this is literally what he and Terry came up with? Something happened between Aziraphale and Crowley between the end of book 1 and the beginning of book 2, and the second book is telling us the story of the second coming, whilst at the same time providing us flashback scenes of exactly what happened between A&C? That part of the book is the mystery of why these ineffable husbands who spent the last 6000 years together were suddenly no longer talking.

Can you imagine reading that blurb and thinking “WWWHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT?”

Whether the intended sequel involved the story of a memory wiped Gabriel is up for debate. But I understand why Neil devoted an entire season to telling this story, because I don’t think there would have been room to do the second coming storyline and devote enough time to exploring the relationship breakdown at the same time in just 6 episodes.

And if my theories are correct, this is why I don’t think we will get any further flashback sequences in season 3. If we’re really lucky, maybe we’ll get a 1941 part 3 flashback, and a “what happened when they went back to Crowley’s apartment and body swapped” flashback (I’ve drafted some wildest dream posts on these, so look out for them coming in the near future). But unless they’re relevant for the plot, I think we’re out of flashbacks. This next season is likely going to be focusing specifically on the second coming, the consequences, and answering the question what does putting it right mean?!

This is obviously all opinion and conjecture and I could be completely wrong. I just like putting my thoughts down and sharing with others. So if you want to discuss comment or reblog! Let me know your theories! (And as always, please don’t tag Neil)

[whoiskt]

Severance Episode 1 Thoughts

These are going to be scattered questions that I'm pondering.

Is Helly lying or telling the truth?

When she says she woke up in a "boring ass apartment" and found a night gardener, she is either telling the truth, meaning her memory has been altered, or she's lying, in which case leads to another question.

2. Has Helly been replaced with Helena?

Either innie Helly is lying because she doesn't want to reveal her status as an outie (she doesn't have much motive to do this, unless she's worried about the consequences telling the team might have) or she is not an innie anymore, and is just outie Helena coming down and "playing" Helly. This is supported by the photoshopped image of the team in a motorcade with outie Helena--this simply would not happen, there is no reason for an Eagan to sabotage their own company like that. If she really did flip to being anti-severance procedure, there's no way she'd ever return, but as we've already seen, outie Helena is extremely apathetic to innies so there's little chance she would have changed her mind on this. "Helly" pointed out there's no more cameras, and restating that there's no more microphones--they aren't needed anymore because she is a spy. She wants the others to speak openly so she can get their secrets herself.

3. Why did Irving come back?

To me it's perfectly understandable that Mark came back (although more on that later) because he'd want to seek out his dead wife, Ms. Casey. Although we don't know much about outie Dylan, it's understandable he'd come back because he might not even realize his own involvement in what happened. If anything, he would have been fired. But Irving, who spends all the first episode trying to leave, would be super aware of his involvement, and thus his innie's unhappiness. To me, this just confirms my season 1 theory that Irving's outie has purposefully become a severed employee to do his own investigation into Lumon. Although, the fact innie Irving doesn't recognize the testing floor is interesting, I thought outie Irving was meditating on that image because it's leaked through from innie Irving's subconscious, but instead it seems like outie Irving is trying to get innie Irv to remember it, so that he will investigate it down there.

4. Is outie Mark dead?

I suspected this when he went up the elevator and immediately came back down, but I thought that could be an editing/stylistic choice. However, the last time things faded to black. This is heavily implying that he's not going anywhere else. The next episode seems to be about outie Mark, which might imply that he's alive, but it also could be a flashback episode. He also might not be dead, but might not exactly be a free man either. Either way, it's super suspect, and I wouldn't put it above Lumon to kill outie Mark as a coverup, or even for Mark to kill himself, sadly.

5. How long has it REALLY been? Why now?

Even Mark is questioning the "5 months" number he was given, but there was probably a time skip of some length. This gives time for Lumon to spin the story both inside and outside. We have almost no information on the outside, but on the inside it's clear that they had to at least pretend to make some changes. If Helena is pretending to be her innie, she probably needed time practice that, but if she really did have 5 months, then how come she couldn't have come up with a better lie than running into a "night gardener"? If anything, I'm guessing it has been shorter than 5 months, rather than longer. I think they want to pretend there was a period of massive reforms, when there has not been any yet.

Furthermore, there's the idea that Lumon doesn't fully understand what occurred during the overtime contingency. Helly's stunt was very public, but it also was an event that seemed to be mostly attended by pro-severance people who aren't so worried about the morals and ethics of it all. Containing that situation seems well within the realm of possibility. So getting the four of them back as soon as possible would be beneficial to doing damage control in regards to what Mark and Irving did.

6. Why is there a child working at Lumon?

Mark W. mentions that his branch shut down. This coupled with Huang's employment could imply that Lumon is doing so poorly perception-wise, that no one wants to work for them anymore, leaving them to take who they can get--even if that means hiring a child. This, and a child could be more easily groomed into the cult that is Lumon. Perhaps Mr. Milchick started young too, which could explain his oddities. Only people born and raised in the Kier cult get to be in positions of power at Lumon.