#incorrect parkner

[prkrknr]

harley: where's peter?

tony: what? do you think i have him microchipped or something?

harley: well do you?

tony:

tony: yeah, hang on

[rrcenic]

in the honor of my marvel obsession creeping back to me + my family being in disneyland and exploring avengers campus, have some ✨avengers incorrect quotes✨ as things my friends and family have said

a shit ton of these were conversations between @cissyenthusiast010155 and i lmao

-

peter: indulge in my child-like whimsy. buy me a web slinger

-

steve: is that an igloo over there??

peter: …it’s a hippie house?

tony: did you hear about the hippie states wife?

steve: why on earth is there a hippie house in the cars theme park?!

tony: babe. did you hear about the hippie states wi-

peter: what’s the hippie state?

tony: the hippie states wife is mississippi!

steve: what on earth are you talking abou-

tony: like,,, mrs. hippie?? mississippi?

steve: …

peter: …

tony: …

tony: i thought it was funny

-

tony: “i can do this all day”? that’s what she said

steve: SHHHHHH!!!

natasha: ooh, you’ve finally been shushed

-

loki: a kid ran in front of me and my reaction was “broken child!”

steve: wHAT?!

loki: i didn’t say it out loud!!!

-

scott: please sir, you don’t understand, if i don’t get my 20 dollar sunglasses back, my children will die

-

peggy: i support neil patrick harris being gay

natasha: peg, you’re a lesbian

peggy: yes, but i am an ally to his gayness

natasha: you are gay

-

peter: they should let me stay up late. because. if they don’t it would be…

ned: transphobic?

peter: YES

-

bucky: i smelled grass! and now i want some!

steve: you want to eat grass?!

bucky: absolutely

-

peter: and they were LAB PARTNERS

harley: oh my gawd they were lab partners

-

tony: i want shawarma

steve: i want to go to sleep

tony: it’s only 4 pm

steve: and?

-

steve: oh, this boba pearl is stuck in the ice…

bucky: just like captain america!

tony: aaaah, good one

-

mj: “what kind of girl do you want” a red one

peter: …

peter: are we talking about cars????

-

thor: i don’t understand the scientific physics

bruce: the what

-

peter: please bring back the cheese man

tony: that could really mean any of us

-

*at their first meet up in a while*

natasha: yknow, i’m just now being reminded of the fact that i hate half the people here

-

bucky: i hate will ferrell

sam: how can anyone hate will ferrell?!

bucky: well, i liked him in barbie

sam: and he was funny in the lego movie!

bucky: true, he was awesome in that

sam: oh, he was also megamind!

bucky: yes! i loved him with that

sam: you don’t actually hate will ferrell, do you?

bucky: …

sam: you just hate elf

bucky: …i just hate elf

-

steve: “rogers: the musical” can only be described as feeling like bad fanfiction

tony: isn’t it amazing

-

*playing heads up, prompt “avengers: civil war”*

peter: when! when the divorce!

scott: ant man’s first fight!

natasha: when everyone decided they didn’t like each other anymore!

-

harley: oh, c3p0 and r2d2 are a gay couple!

peter: duh??? did you just realize that???

[bitrashteddy]

Harley: What's your favourite flavour icie

Peter: Blue

Harley: Blue is not a flavour

Peter: Yes it is

Harley: Why is red not a flavour though

Peter: Because its not blue

Harley: Blue is not a flavour I will die on this hill

Peter: Then perish

[hurtspideyparker]

Harley: You can't tell anyone, but I really like Peter

Tony: Oh? Like...

Harley: Romantically you buffon. Get with the program, everyone's gay now

Tony: That's not what I meant but okay. I just thought you guys didn't get along

Harley: Why on Earth would you think that?

— *Ten minutes earlier* —

Peter: Mr. Stark I think Harley hates me

Tony: I'm sure he just—

Peter: He keeps calling me mean names, and punching me in the shoulder, and making fun of me for being clumsy or ugly or just tying my shoes weird. I think he's homophobic too, he keeps saying "what are you, gay?" in this aggressive tone

— *Present time* —

Harley: It's called flirting! Being mean is my love language

Tony: Okay well TELL HIM THAT. I can't stand his sad little puppy dog eyes whenever you enter the room

Harley: But then he'll know I like him...

Tony: *exhausted father noises*

[hearts-4buck]

Marvel + incorrect pictures (mostly young avengers)

[castielsfavourite]

peter: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

harley: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

peter: Absolutely not.

[incorrect-assvengers]

Peter: 11 year old me would think current me is insane

Harley: He'd be right

Harley: 11 year old me would call current me a slur

[yoooitsemmers]

Peter: are you from Tennessee? Harley: Peter: Cause you’re the only 10 I see! Harley: Peter: hahaha Harley: Peter: haha… Harley: shut the fuck up. Peter: IM SORRY I HAD TOO

[dragonstar2568]

You can’t tell me that Peter and Harley didn’t fight with lightsabers at their wedding.

[emmedoesntdomath]

harley, facedown on the table: I’m so stupid 

tony, laughing at him: yes, yes you are-

peter, from across the room: no 

harley:

tony:

harley, sitting up and clearing his throat: you know, I suddenly feel better. the world is such a beautiful place. I’m doing great, actually. 

[prkrknr]

peter: love is dead and never existed. all you did was betray me as i lay sick and festering. you are the definiton of dread

tony: are you okay???

peter: harley stole my fucking chocolate chip muffin

[ashlinne]

Tony would have found out about Harley and Peter's relationship in a stupid way. like—

Harley: hi, baby. how—

Tony:

Peter:

Tony: Did you just call him "baby"? Did I hear that right, Harley Keener?

Harley: It's not what you think, old man.

Peter: I'm still here. And he did call me "baby" because we're dating. Do you have any more stupid questions, or should we get back to fixing my suit?

Tony: .. Pepper is going to give a lecture about condoms. I'm not ready for that.

Harley: So what about the fucking suit, Tony Stank—

[ljlokijinx]

MJ: Hey Peter, wanna play UNO?

Peter, understanding it as 'you know': MJ, I love you, but as a friend...

MJ: Uno, dos, tres you idiot, the CARD GAME!

Harley *very obviously flirting*: Wanna play you know, darling?

Peter, not about to do the same mistake twice: Oh yeah, I have a deck in my desk.

Ned: Wanna play UNO?

Peter: Ned, you're my friend-

Ned: The game you idiot!

Peter: I KNOW, BUT LAST TIME WE PLAYED YOU DIDN'T TALK WITH ME FOR A WEEK.

[eternallyungrateful]

Harley, walking into the lab after smoking a fatty blnt: do you ever think the trees are trying to tell us something, and we just don't know how to hear it anymore?

Peter, already done with him: i just want you to stop saying odd shit

[basically-harley-keener]

Peter, packing: Okay i have 16 shirts

Harley: it’s a four day trip…

[twenty-orange-balloons]

Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng–

Jiang Cheng: No, I am still mad at you.

Wei Wuxian: I told you it was an “accident” and I “didn’t mean” to! How was I “supposed to know” adding glitter would “break it”?

Jiang Cheng: Adding air quotes doesn’t help your “argument”.