#riordanverse incorrect quotes

[simpingforpjo]

Annabeth: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas

Percy, sipping waffles: Why?

[poppitron360]

Even more incorrect quotes From this RANDOM INCORRECT QUOTES GENERATOR that I found!!

Hazel: Just be careful, Leo!

Leo: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Hazel!

Leo: It's everything around me that's careless.

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Annabeth: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

Piper: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

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Jason: I will find us a covered wagon and horses.

Jason: If you two can manage to not kill each other while I'm gone.

Piper: Oh, please. We're not children.

*Jason leaves*

Piper, casually: ...Eat shit and die.

Leo, also casually: Yes, fuck you.

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Annabeth: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Percy: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

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Will: What are you in the mood for?

Nico: World domination.

Will: That's a bit ambitious.

Nico: You are my world.

Will: Aww...

Nico:

Will:

Nico:

Will: OH.

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Percy, upon learning how Annabeth did a magic trick: So you’re not magic?

Annabeth: Well, not really.

Percy: You’re just a liar.

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Piper and Leo: *speaking Spanish*

Piper: I know, I know.

Jason: You speak Spanish?

Piper: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Leo speaks.

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Annabeth: N... No!

Percy: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint: Y... Yes???

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Leo, talking about Jason: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

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Percy : I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.

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Annabeth: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a bee.

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Will: Can you keep a secret?

Nico: Do you know anything about my life?

Will: No, I don't. Good point.

[avocadoearthworm]

Magnus: What's up Annabeth? I'm back.

Annabeth: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. You're body is literally right there.

Magnus: Death is a social construct.

[touretticbandgeek]

Another scarily accurate incorrect quotes generator

Magnus: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder? Alex: Stop romanticizing the past.

[averagedemigod]

Annabeth: Dionysus counted a pair of siblings as one camper because he said they share the same soul.

[sakyira]

Magnus: Jack is completely fine fuck you!

Jack, flirting with every sword or weapon he sees:

Magnus:

[lilislegacy]

percy: *intensely watching the news, waiting to hear about something he may have caused*

piper: come on percy, come eat with us. you’ve been sitting there waiting for hours. if something happens, you’ll hear about it eventually. a watched pot never boils

percy, distractedly: yeah and an ignored one boils over

piper: that-

piper, turning to annabeth in confusion: have i been spending too much time with him or is that one of the most logical things i’ve ever heard someone say?

[hyperfixation-fix]

Kayla, showing a new Apollo camper around the cabin while Will is on duty in the infirmary:

...so this is your bed over here-

*pats bed*

-make yourself at home, and this-

*pats Nico's head, who is dozing on a beanbag*

-this is our pet Spawn of Satan, but don't worry! Will has had him de-clawed-

Nico, without moving: I'll kill you Kayla, I swear to god.

Kayla: -but he's still working on socialising him.

Nico: They'll never find the body Kayla, I'm dead serious. I know places.

Camper: ....man you guys are weird

[freddie-77-ao3]

Athena: You’re not good enough for my daughter. Percy: You’re not good enough for your daughter. Athena: Excuse me? Percy: You heard me.

[percabethownsmybutt]

percy: i think my mom mixed up our lunches

percy, holds up note that reads: ‘i am very proud of you. love, sally’

annabeth: oh yeah, i didn’t think this was for me

annabeth, holds up note: ‘be good. for goodness sake, please be good’

[simpingforpjo]

Everyone: I can fix him

Will: I can make him fix himself *finger guns*

[poppitron360]

Annabeth: [bedraggled, half-dead, deranged grin, eye bags, contemplating homocide]

Percy: That's my fucking wife! That, right there, is my wife and I love her so much!!

[avocadoearthworm]

Annabeth: wait so you're telling me our uncle was killed by Tom hiddleston????

Magnus: Gods I wish

[touretticbandgeek]

Leo: Why are you on the floor? Jason: I'm depressed.

Jason: Also I was stabbed, can you get Piper, please.

[thegirlwholivesin-delusion]

[averagedemigod]

Percy: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Frank: Where did you get that?

Percy: My pocket.

Frank: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Percy: Skills.