aaaroace - Tumblr blog

[aaaroace]

this is the asexual website. to me

[aaaroace]

Never forget that Cupid carried two types of arrows: gold and lead. The golden arrows struck the victim with desire while the lead caused aversion.

I think we all know which one he hit me with.

[aaaroace]

i honestly feel like my ~ whatever that is going on in my brain ~ (anxiety? adhd? autism? all? who knows!) blends so much with my aroaceness that i can't separate one from another. i don't understand love at first sight the way people do— that “i knew it was you from the first moment i saw you”, i don't understand one night stands because wdym you can trust your body to someone you just met after a couple of drinks? i don't understand why love fades the same way it appeared, out of nowhere. i don't understand how you can actually feel horny or heavily attracted to someone you saw on the streets, like wdym you saw a cute girl and got a boner? how does that work? (i am aware i am exaggerating with this one lol) (at least i hope so) i don't understand how you can simply Not Care about your lover's feelings and cheat on them, why don't you tell them “nah i am not interested anymore”? why is it okay to lie for a long time to avoid hurting them (and ending up causing more pain) instead of inflicting less pain sooner?

i don't understand the way most people “love”, the way they handle “romantic” relationships, i don't get the difference between marriage and dating, i don't understand a handful of things and i don't know if it's because my brain tends to think way too literally when it needs the heart or it's because love doesn't blind me and make me do dumb things.

being aroace is kinda a headache sometimes, i guess.

[aaaroace]

Me, an aromantic, giving dating advice: Maybe just don't date?

[aaaroace]

I saw a time ago a post claiming that aro people need an aro friend irl and let me tell you something. I met another aro person irl and it's the best thing I ever experienced. I don't know how to describe this experience but it's so incredibly freeing, I never felt like this before. I don't have to hold back my affection because he won't misinterpret it, he'll never assume anything romantic. He'll never leave me because of a partner or find it weird that I don't want anything romantic in my life. It's something you can only experience with another aro person, it's a special kind of connection. I don't know what I want to say with my post, but I guess the other post was right. I guess aro people really need an irl aro friend.

[aaaroace]

“sex/romance/empathy makes us human,” they say. awful. pathetic. what makes us human is the urge to set things on fire

[aaaroace]

JFC CAN WE STOP PUTTING RELATIONSHIPS INTO A SOCIETAL HIERARCHY MAYBE???

"QPRs are deeper than a friendship🥺" HUSHHHH YOU NEED TO HUSHHHH

a QPR is whatever the fuck you want it to be!! And trying to put them on a higher level than friendship in society reminds me so much of how people have basically made nonbinary into a third part of a trinary instead of a deconstruction of the binary.

It's like making a trinary of relationships lmao

[aaaroace]

"i support aroace people!" "aroace people are queer!" How would you react if i told you that i'm aroace but non-partnering, even qpr are a big no, answer quickly.

[aaaroace]

Society: Don’t ever get married it will be your biggest mistake.

Me: Ok, I won’t

Society: WHAT?!?

[aaaroace]

Hey, just so you know, it's ok for your feelings to fluctuate. It's ok to be sex or romance repulsed one day and not the next. It's ok to be indifferent one day and favorable the next. It's ok it you think you're sex repulsed and then realize maybe you're sex adverse. It's ok to be romance indifferent one moment and adverse the next. It's ok. Your experiences are valid.

[aaaroace]

fun fact (not fun at all fact actually) :

aromanticism and asexuality are still treated as issues to be fixed in most therapy settings, at least in the western psychiatric institution. i cannot fucking mention my aromanticism or asexuality to a therapist or it’ll immediately become their primary concern and goal to fix. whether or not i have a partner/am trying to have a partner is actively being used as an indicator of my wellness, regardless of if i WANT one. i cannot have access to needed mental health ressources because of fear of conversion therapy. aro and/or ace conversion therapy is the norm in most psychiatric institutions and we are getting told by the rest of the queer community that our oppression isnt real and that there is no link between our struggles and theirs.

[aaaroace]

every day my aro ass is tasked with giving my friends love advice orz how does this keep happening

[aaaroace]

the mspec to aspec pipeline is real and it happened to me

[ID: a collection of m-spec flags (including bi, pan, poly, omni, and multisexual) at one end of a pipeline with a collection of a-spec flags (including aro, ace, greyace, greyaro, demi, demiro, and aroace) at the other end. end ID]

[aaaroace]

Loveless aros are a valuable part of the aromantic community

Aplatonic aros are a valuable part of the aromantic community

Afamilial aros are a valuable part of the aromantic community

Heartless aros are a valuable part of the aromantic community

Their perspectives are important and valuable and their voices deserve to be heard

Aromantic spaces must account for them and their safety

A space that is not safe for loveless, aplatonic, afamilial and heartless aros is not a safe space for aromantics

This is not up for debate

[aaaroace]

I hate how oddly sexualized breasts are, and how oddly sexualized bedrooms are, and I hate how anything not inherently sexual gets sexualized, it was hot outside and me and my boyfriend were watching his friend repair his truck at my house and I had a shirt off and only my binder on since yk it was hot out, and the other guys also had their shirts off and it was considered fine, but when me and my boyfriend went to go relax in the ac in my room I changed from my binder to a sports bra cause my ribs hurt and kept a shirt off cause I was still sweating a lot and really hot, and my mom came in complaining about how I need to wear a shirt and how it's weird to wear only a bra in a bedroom with your significant other even though she knows I'm ace and she thinks it's weird since he isn't ace and I have breasts and bedrooms are sexualized, why is it okay to not have a shirt as one assigned gender and not the other, why are certain environments more sexualized than others, it makes no sense especially since we weren't doing anything sexual, neither me nor him made it weird, but my mom was making a huge deal out of having tits in a bedroom

maybe it's cause I'm autistic or maybe cause I'm asexual but I think the oversexualization of literally everything is weird

[aaaroace]

I absolutely love the aromantic community and have finally felt apart of a community when I’ve felt alone in a amatonormative society for so long! Before I discovered I was aromantic I thought fearing my friends eventually leaving me for their romantic partners was something that I was truly alone in. No one around me seemed to have that fear BUT me. I described it as being selfish and jealous before. But when I discovered I was aromantic I soon found that I wasn’t alone in these thoughts and that most aromantics have felt the same way I have!

I love that all types of aromantics are breaking down what love means to them or if they even need it at all! We’re all doing our part to dismantle amatonormativity by simply EXISTING. Both as an orientation and ideology aromanticism is simply amazing to be apart of.

For those that are still saddened to be aromantic I completely get it. Being in a society and having friends that won’t view you as important as their romantic partners is really hard to deal with. But by being aromantic we can really change this world for the better to hopefully one day no longer feel that sadness!

I want to one day see amatonormativity no longer exist and just have equal relationships. We’ll get there someday.

Cactuses stray far from society and with their needles send a message. 🌵

💚🤍🩶🖤

[aaaroace]

please we need rep

it’s so upsetting seeing so many people not know the difference between aromantic and asexual, be upset they can’t draw R34 of or ship aro characters, and still think aro and ace people don’t rlly exsist and just have not found the right person

as much as i love lillith and other characters confirmed out of cannon it hardly even counts as rep