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Interviewer [To Peter]: So how does it feel working with someone who's so out of your league?

Peter: um.. well-

Tony, grabbing the mic: It feels amazing. fantastic. He's simply remarkable. Still don't know how i did it.

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Tony, angrily: I swear, I'm gonna fucking ground Peter forever!

Steve: *sighs* Okay. Now imagine a world without him.

Tony:

Tony, tearing up: why would you say that?

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Peter: I laugh in the face of danger

Harley: You cried for 45 minutes and asked Tony not to leave so Steve had to get you an ice cream.

Peter: That was a long time ago

Tony: That was 10 minutes ago

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AHHHH SO CUTE. I LOVE IT

Tony Stark is a genius. Everyone is aware of that. Especially Peter. Every lab day Peter is a witness to the incredible mind of Tony. Sadness creeps into Peter's soul. Tony graduated MIT at his age and he's still in high school. Peter feels stupid messing with his web shooters or doing his homework while Tony is working on a high tech suit right beside him.

Tony finding out all of this and starts to asks obvious questions to Peter or getting things wrong on purpose so Peter could help him out.

"Why didn't I think of that!" He would say. "You're a genius, Pete."

It's all worth it to see Peter simply beam at the words of encouragement.

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*Peter seeing Tony's personal lab for the first time*

Tony: *jokingly* be careful, if you break it, you buy it

Peter: *muttering* Tell that to my teachers about my mental health

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i need at least 8-10 business days to process this. thanks! kill me now!

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Everyday is bring your spiderbaby to work day 🥹

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Tony: Peter why are you lying on the floor?

Peter: i have depression

Tony: Ah

Peter: I have also been stabbed three times

Tony: Peter what the fu-

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Ok but what if Peter finds all of those children's drawings Tony keeps and finds one he sent to Iron man after being saved by him at the Stark expo and tells Tony he was the one who drew that.

Tony would be weeping like a baby

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Lab music

Peter: Hey, Mr Stark?

Tony: yeah

Peter: If I was dying and needed one of your kidneys, would you give it to me?

Tony: In an heart-beat

Peter: Okay, awesome!

Tony: ...you don't need a kidney, do you?

Peter: No

Tony: Where's this coming from then?

Peter: ...can I pick the lab music-

Tony: absolutely fucking not.

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Derek:You're annoying Reid

Someone:Yeah! Shut up nerd

Derek: Fuck you just said??? 🔪

Emily:🔪

Hotch: 🔪

Garcia: 🔪

JJ:🔪

Rest of the BAU: 🔪🔪🔪

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Even worse when your legs expand to the size of Texas when you sit down

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I realized I didn’t make a single thing for Pride this year, and that just won’t do. Happy belated Pride ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜!!

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Happy, on the phone with Tony: No, No Tony, Everything's running smoothly, here, Peter, tell him everything's fine.

Peter: *takes phone* We haven't eaten in days, we ran out of toothpaste, I'm dropping out of school, 'kay love you bye!

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I see all of these spiderman/batman crossovers and like...

Just... just hear me out.

Like, what if bruce sees peter out fighting crime n all that jazz and goes 'yup mine now' and keeps trying to adopt him, but Peter's like completely avoiding him bc all his father figures always die

And now they're just... stuck. In this cycle of bruce chasing after peter across rooftops with adoption papers in one hand and a snack bar in the other 'because he has an enhanced metabolism Dick! All that running needs nutrients!'

Imagine being a random gothamite and you see two vigilantes sprinting full pelt down the road, one yelling about 'please stop trying to adopt me'

Even better, imagine bruce's _kids_

Dick: B, come on, the kid obviously just doesn't want to be adopted. Maybe he has parents

Bruce: :(

Jason, causing shit again bc its funny: nah he's def an orphan. He told me when we went for chili dogs the other day

B: :((((((((

Dick: well then maybe it's something else. I mean, you can be kind of intimidating...

B: is he scared of me? Should I change the batsuit? Is that it?

(Cue bruce wearing various different bat-themed outfits to get peter to talk to him. Steph holds the photos she has of him wearing a fluffy bat onesie as blackmail. He still stands by that one - it had attached wings and everything)

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[After getting Petter back from the soul stone]

Tony: Hold my hand!

Peter: Mr. Stark?

Tony: we're using the buddy system for the rest of our lives.

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LMFAO I GENUINELY DO NOT REMEMBER ASKING THIS

What is your favorite kind of pickle?

The edible kind.