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I keep thinking back to why Hayden feels like such a boring and forgettable character to me, and it really boils down to the fact that beyond her kickass introduction of vengeance, she barely feels connected to anything beyond being a female love interest

Rewatching 6A more slowly and thoughtfully has made me realize that Hayden doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test prior to Gwen. Besides her sister, she doesn’t have a single conversation with any female character unless you count that ONE (1) brief moment while Tracy is having a night terror when Tracy’s not even fully conscious. You’d think Hayden and Tracy would talk together about something when part of Theo’s pack, but no. Hayden’s existence is almost entirely about Liam.

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what you learn from hobbies:

consistent practice opens up whole worlds of skill that you couldn't imagine

making mistakes in the process of learning is not only natural, it is also essential

activities that you enjoy can give you more energy back than you spent on them

wow everything is so expensive

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"you don't owe anyone anything" You are a tar pit. Speak for yourself. I personally owe the cafe employees my dishes put away and my friends a listening ear and small scared insects a cup and a gentle trip outside. Hyperindividualism is a rancid infection borne of capitalism and willfully misinterpreted therapyspeak and I will defy it by continuing to be kind regardless of whether or not it benefits me personally

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“what if kids identify with something and it ends up just being a phase-?” good. stop teaching and expecting kids (and adults honestly) to formulate permanent traits and ideas of themselves. everything in life is a phase. that doesn’t make it any less legitimate while you experience it. let people explore themselves and know it’s okay if what you think about yourself changes.

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I am the Only Person in the fandom who understands corey bryant /unserious

corey's character is a delicate balance between sad little meow meow and mean twink. and almost every, and i mean almost EVERY teen wolf fic i have ever read in my life either leans too far to one side or the other. USUALLY to the sad little meow meow side because of micheal johnston's soft, friendly demeanour. but make no mistake. he is very clearly both. in this essay. i will

#1

MEAN TWINK BEHAVIOUR.

people often pin his badass and more forward behaviour on the vague, soul-darkening thing that happened to the chimeras in season 5, since many examples of his mean twink behaviour happen during mid season 5B.

"she's got a hole in her head. that's not a good look for anyone." "you like me, go out with me." (while mason is talking about how bad and evil theo is)

but he has moments like this before and after being ressurected! behold!

BEFORE

regularly going to clubs and hooking up with random guys, said to be the more forward one in his relationship with lucas. even tries to drown his sorrows with alcohol, not knowing he's incapable of getting drunk due to his chimera status.

reacting with lots of hostility and sarcasm after scott clawed him in the neck, and refusing to help until theo prodded a little more

still holding his grudge against scott (and this grudge lasts the ENTIRE season)

AFTER

has the balls to steal mason from scott in an effort to protect him

fully gets in a bigass fight with liam and is very confrontational, and is also forward enough to resolve said fight.

extremely pessimistic in situations, even when mason is trying to lighten the mood, and not just situations that involve him. he fully said to liam's face that everyone saw him shift and that the entire school knows, and he's basically fucked.

-

he also keeps a very pragmatic outlook on the supernatural events of beacon hills. he doesn't meet them with any wonder, excitement or optimism, rather, he actually makes attempts to leave and keep himself safe. he's one of the only characters with any level of self preservation in that regard. moving to my next point:

#2

SAD LITTLE MEOW MEOW BEHAVIOUR

corey's deer-in-the-headlights thing he has going on is a running joke in the show. he usually meets physical conflict with invisibility or surrender, and is constantly being put in absolutely horrific situations due to his inability to fight back. whatever battle instinct the rest of these teenagers somehow possess is, he doesn't have it. and he doesn't get how they do.

on the other hand, the sad little meow meow camp of people do have one thing right: he is quite defeated by the school system and his life circumstances. he seems to have completely given up on his parents even giving an iota of a shit about him, and he fumbles a lot in school settings, often struggling to understand concepts and theories that mason takes interest in. he also, and this is quite important, refuses to believe mason actually needs him, possibly stemming from his home life and his lack of importance to his loved ones.

#3

CONCLUSION

so while corey may have a severe lack of confidence in academic and combat settings, as well as some trauma from his parents, i believe these aspects cause his confidence in social conflicts and romantic settings to be overlooked. he isn't much of a pushover at all when it comes to a verbal conflict, and has a much more pragmatic and logical personality than the fandom gives him credit for. the end!

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Drawing characters i’ve never or haven't drawn in a long time 🫶

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I deliver the lesbins 😌🫶

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as a hater, it's important to keep in mind that true fandom is a long game. for example, yeah, it's fucking annoying when you genuinely enjoy a show or something for multiple reasons and it happens to have gay people (or people who could be read as gay) in it and so the fandom gets flooded with the kind of fans who are literally just here for the "Hot New Thing to Slash Ship" and therefore have bad opinions on everything because they think entirely in shallow fanfic tropes and are going to get mad every time something doesn't line up perfectly with their fanfics, but with time they will move on to the next "Hot New Thing to Slash Ship," and you'll realize your real enemy is and has always been That One Blogger who Sincerely Loves this Show as Much as You But Has the Worst Fucking Opinions on Planet Earth.

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The best advice i can give any creator is do it before you're good at it, do it BEFORE you're happy, do it while you suck, do it while you're doubting yourself and get stuck the fuck in, because waiting around to be "good enough" is a motherfucking trap of the highest degree. You'll get good along the way and better after ever project is complete. Remember, this is the greatest thing you've ever created, and then you'll do something else. You're only ever gonna get better, but not if you stand still.

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"IS THIS THE DEATH OF ART?" Well art has died before. Art died in both the 1980s and 1940s. Art died in the industrial revolution. Art died when they invented the printing press. Art died when we stopped painting on cave walls. Art died when you, personally, stopped finger painting. You can absolutely be a hater though that's part of it

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On Storygraph there’s an option when rating the book you read to mark whether the story had a diverse cast, and I always find that question nebulous. I read MM Romance. Is it really “diverse” if the cast of LGBT+ people doesn’t have a single major Black character? I’m talking part of the main cast, not a secondary character like a best friend who’s never featured as a lead in their own book. Like, for me, that’s where my line is because there’s so few MM Romances with BIPOC in them. I’ll always answer No otherwise.

This is a personal opinion.

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This is also why most “close friendships” in such stories end up having infinitely more romantic/sexual subtext because there’s actual work put into exploring why these characters mean so much to one another

a lot of stories treat romance like it makes the relationship between two characters self explanatory and to be honest it doesn’t

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Reading comprehension? Oh you mean blackout poetry of the mind

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Was reminded of the song “What does the fox say?” and it made me think of Kira and how that needs to become a meme.

Then my brain went “but someone would be singing it to her, wouldn’t they?… but who?”

AND THAT’S HOW STIRA HAPPENS

WOO HER STILES I BELIEVE IN YOU

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A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.

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I’ve seen this phenomenon on steroids, for multiple reasons, and it comes down to one simple truth: these people believe they cannot progress in life unless they acquire a marriage (and subsequently kids). It’s not about fun or love or whatever. It’s about finding the first person who’ll say Yes to you. This is exactly why you’ll see many relationships with people who are miserable together but won’t do anything about it. They’ve settled. Of course the phenomenon is slowly going away with younger generations who are disillusioned by the “requirement” of marriage, but you definitely still see it among conservative idealists. The biggest irony for me—also an autistic aroace—is that the entire enterprise of dating is built upon the same premise as looking for a job

the way a lot of people talk about dating makes me really sad

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I think it’s really funny being a furry but without the fursuit stuff. Like anyone who knows me for more than five minutes will comprehend, on a deep guttural level, that I am a cat stuck in a human meatsuit