airedelalmena - Tumblr blog

[airedelalmena]

Some theories on the subject of passing:

(And with a note that I never request or state pronouns for myself, in any way, so anyone who genders me is making their own decision how to do it)

There's a specific generation of progressives (maybe 40s/50s?) who grew up in the era of "if you see a woman with a men's haircut, men's clothes, a flat chest, a husky voice, and maybe a smidge of facial hair, you should still assume she's a woman, because assuming otherwise would be rude. Butch women still count as real women."

And I suspect these people are worse at "reading" trans people's genders than other age groups of progressives, despite being equally trans-positive, because they're used to the idea that it's more progressive to assume the gnc person is their birth-assigned gender instead of something else. They're used to mentally dismissing all other gendered signifiers as not defining the person.

On the other hand, I sometimes get called "he" by old progressive people (70s) despite me not passing at all, and I suspect there's a chunk of older folks who either a) can roll with the concept of binary trans people (including those who are mid-transition) but consider "nonbinary" to be a bridge too far, or b) just find "they" pronouns awkward and unintuitive. So they default to "he" instead of "they" for me, as opposed to most middle-aged and younger progressives, who default to "they" for me because I don't look male enough for them to conceptualize me as a man. Whereas the old people find it easier to conceptualize me as a (trans) man than as nonbinary.

[airedelalmena]

Kitten's Game, Henriëtte Ronner-Knip, 1860s or 1870s

[airedelalmena]

"the element of shame forcefem relies on but masculinity simply doesn't have"

What are you talking about?

"the element of shame" in femininity comes for trans women, transfeminine people, fem men, others, from the fact that they were raised with it off-limits, taught they ought to be masculine cis men.

that shame is MASSIVE in trans men and transmasculine people, butch women, etc. because we were raised to be feminine cis women.

it took YEARS to get over this shame. the closet was intense.

Seriously WTF are you talking about saying it doesn't exist? as long as transphobia itself exists this shame will exist.

forcemasc is simple, really. you have to introduce the element of shame forcefem relies on but masculinity simply doesn't have. so what now? let us remember, we are posting for an audience of transmascs who take great pride in their connection to lesbianism, so this is where the forcemasc has to hit. the forceful, erotically charged severing of that connection. aditionally, so much of transmasculinity these days is about secretly wishing you were a tranny so who could be better suited to channel this eroticism into form than an autoandrophilic trans woman

[airedelalmena]

“To be human is to be born into a dance in which every animate or inanimate, visible or invisible being is also dancing. Every step of this dance is printed in light; its energy is adoration, its rhythm is praise. Pain, desolution, and destruction in this full and unified sacred vision are not separate from the dance, but are instead essential energies of its transformative unfolding. Death itself cannot shatter the dance, because death is the lifespring of its fertility, the mother of all its changing splendor. If we could bring ourselves to open to this vision, we would undergo a revolution of the heart.” ― Andrew Harvey, The Return of the Mother

[airedelalmena]

My relationship with the spirituality/religion thing. Hard to describe lol.

When I was made to go to services as a teenager and had a genuine interest in like...my own religion/spirituality/the universe/etc I had a while where I wanted to be some form of clergy. + tattoo artist.

As an adult, I became practically atheist because of the obvious issue of pain/this world, but also the entire religion-as-institution/establishment and dogmatic religion, power problems, everything everyone already knows and is disgusted about. Plus just the entire core of a monotheistic religion that is so unnatural, that worships a man and half the population is cut out... When most early and more natural religions would have made room for, yknow, a reflection of all actual living people being reflected in what they worship. Not just some of them. Not to mention nature. essentially beliefs called "animist" sum up what I have always thought on my own.

I basically just eventually came to terms that the entire concept I had been revering my whole life was my own invention, and had kind of nothing to do with the thing the church has on its actual books or on its mind. Not just myself but mom and to a great extent, even my grandmother too. Focusing on instinctual feelings, nature-based, basically animist-without-calling-it-that stuff, with some other label put on top because it's the one we were raised with. That basically there are a lot of people who were just calling themselves members of this or that religion mostly because they were culturally that, historically, but in terms of psychology and actual beliefs, kind of...didn't match.

I think of CS Lewis with this, because he started out "pagan" (and it shows in all of his work imo), but that wasn't really an option to him, then, so his whole creativity and life got funneled into the only possible route at the time. Using the word "christian/ity" but pouring whatever existing core instincts you have into it, because they didn't come from that -- you would have just had them, already, and sent them anywhere you could. A huge amount of people would've had to do this, otherwise "eccentrics" and artists and free-thinkers but having to use the approved religion as a template and format to get these thoughts and feelings out.

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Recently, I've aimlessly done some church-hopping without real commitment to it because of course not.... but needing the comfort of some kind, and I guess community, even with people I have probably little in common with as we ever did. We were always the artist weirdos and too unorthodox for them and then the Ethnic Thing in small towns and lol.

I just sort of sit detached as the service happens. And think of the fact that I could do a better job. Even without the seminary training.

I will mentally edit their sermon and notice clunkiness or imagine better phrasings in real time. IDK if that is the author side or the…spiritual-clergy-instinct side.

Like... Why am I not doing your job? And doing it well.

But not from within your religion. From my own.

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I don't like or trust next to anyone who seeks this work in christianity most (not all) religions. It's so often a power trip and they just want to be a leader to followers. Which is how cult leaders exist. Which is how all in-religion abuses exist. etc. They're not there for the same reasons I would be if I did this.

I don't think that most people, especially/at least in christianity, want the thing I would be there for. I used to and now I don't. They LIKE feeling like someone else's sheep. They like tr*ditionalist ideas and Strongmen (politics shows us this) and feeling like an old school figure leads the way, by calming all questions they might have and telling them there is no need for any question...just seek dogma. Just know there are simple understandings of everything and you don't even need to understand. Just obey. Etc.

Idk. I think that a huge trend of society sees actual thinking and feeling people leave these institutions, but then have nowhere to go. And the large, moneyed religions seem like the only options for them to engage at all, again. Or then you have "neopagan" stuff which is basically either extremely unthoughtfully done and bastardizes the cultures it takes inspiration from most of the time, seeming like LARPing sometimes NGL. Or else literal actual cults that use you and are dangerous. So they end up having this energy and nowhere to funnel it.

What happens if you try to create some sort of alternative? But the problems. One problem would be zero exposure. Oh hey here's an outsider group for you and other people who share some of these views. Show up if you feel like it, but no one knows we exist! The other would be vultures. Let's say you magically create something that people like. Out of nowhere, it would probably get sociopathic types who want to exploit something that is gaining attention to put themselves in a leader role, because that is all they are there for. So be careful if trying to pick others to IDK participate in the organizing side of things. And resisting them is hard because people enjoy ringleaders. They enjoy following a clique around "dominant"/asshole personalities. That's how you get entire social scenes covering for abusers (in non religious settings, in any settings).

So many thoughts.

.

Idk. I just would've fit better in with whatever this country was doing before Europeans showed up. They could do it better than anything tat I could on my own (lmao obviously), centuries of it behind them and an entire culture of values that totally stand separately from all these sick current ones. Or all that Europe was doing before Christianity took over. The natural people's folk beliefs where authoritarianism hadn't stamped out and punished them.

I'm far from the only person to think any of this.

I look at the young desire to be clergy/spiritually involved + tattoo artist. I mean. That's essentially a "medicine wo/man". Doing tattoos as part of people's life rituals, coming of age, etc.

Or even just to do this all as part of transmitting culture... where does culture end and religion begin? Most people are totally deprived of a real connection to their families' cultures of origin and need that continuation of tradition. It leaves an aimlessness.

Essentially we don't do the basic, normal, grounding things most of us did through most of time: SEASONAL ritual, social things. Even things like christmas caroling isn't even mostly christian but an excuse to be social together with your community and ring out the one year and in the new. Births, ages, deaths, etc. We are so incredibly deprived of all this.

None of this is just about religion nor does it even need to primarily be that.

I don't know where to go with this. I hope to really develop this with time and maybe meet people "From Teh Olde Country" who are in any way still connected with anything and can teach me anything....I don't know. I need to be a part of this as a core aspect of my life and to pass it on.

Passing on "tradition" doesn't mean fascists' shit. Those people don't own that. They don't own the entire concept of passage of wisdom, elder to child, community event and connection, spirituality, culture, art, scientific and philosophical question of what our universe is, language transmission, anything, everything. They don't own those basic core aspects of life. We can't concede it to them, as people with actual minds, hearts who give a damn, etc. Or it just gets poisoned by them. Which is what too many are actively allowing to happen, currently. We don't have to.

[airedelalmena]

Strawberry Bunny Plush

[airedelalmena]

[airedelalmena]

US: Ukraine, give up all your nukes, it's for your own good, we guarantee your safety Ukraine: okay… Russia: invades in 2014 US: we can't give you any weapons, that would be too dangerous. It's not like Russia wants too much, just talk this out... Russia: invades in 2022, explicitly states that wants Ukraine to give up sovereighty, wants Ukrainians to disappear as a nation, commits every possible war crime on a daily US: there will be powerful sanctions for that!!! We stand with the brave fabulous fantastic extraordinary beautiful gorgeous people of Ukraine uwu. Except we can't agree on a military aid package for you because one trumpist is blocking it while your people are dying in the trenches without artillery. Psst, Ukraine, don't you dare bring the war started by Russia back to the territory of Russia. Please, don't destroy the economy of the aggressor, which they use to fund the killing of your children and bombing the shit out of your cities, because that might raise the gas prices and we really don't want that to happen, don't we? We'd much rather pay Russia off with your lives instead.

[airedelalmena]

its relatively obvious that my mindset is not the best lately but i have been trying to keep a lot of my nihilism from spilling over. and because i'm forcing myself to do it i will say despite everything i think all these systems of oppression are emerging and solidifying particularly to combat the ease with which people are collective. i think it's very radical that people in gaza or sudan or anywhere else can reach out to the diaspora in the imperial core instantaneously. i think it's radical that the first instinct people have now is to appeal to humanity at large. do you see this? do you see us? make it go viral. people don't just appeal to organizations and governments anymore, they appeal to everyone. i think its easy to overstate the impotence of something like social media (as happened with the arab spring) in the face of war and genocide but i also think access has fundamentally restructured our world and that's terrifying to a lot of people. i have no idea how this will play out in ten, twenty, thirty years. but we've never experienced anything like the past decade as a human race. we've never had wars fought on livestream, organizers and journalists and killers and victims and colonizers and the colonized all jumbled up in one endless loop, interacting endlessly in op-eds and quote tweets and tiktok edits and scam iftars and doxxing websites and promoted ads where some latent meme can be given as much cultural weight as a drone strike on a human body as a singer choosing to make a political statement as a president scrolling through his notifications. so much is built to combat this constant exchange of life that it reinforces it all the same. i think things are bleak but i think things are changing in ways we probably can't imagine, we can only adapt to.

[airedelalmena]

True for life in general.

[airedelalmena]

[airedelalmena]

Something something...parallel with people wanting a big strongman figure in charge. Not just politically but everywhere: at work, in their friendship groups, at home.

Ok now do NYT columnists

[airedelalmena]

[airedelalmena]

I wonder how many of these are tales of real megafauna passed down from extremely ancient times.

Amemasu

Look up the term ‘Amemasu’, and you might be met with the simple white-spotted char. However, tack on the word ‘yokai’, and you’ll learn of giant whales or fish from Ainu folklore that live in the lakes of northern Honshu. There are said to be multiple Amemasu, with some of the biggest living in Lake Mashū and Lake Shikotsu in Hokkaidō.

An Amemasu is a shapeshifting creature, able to turn into a human. It usually becomes a beautiful young woman with the intent of luring foolish young men to their deaths. You can identify them when in human form, however, as their skin will be cold and clammy, much like that of a fish.

There are a few different legends about the creature. Similar to Bahamut, a fish we’ll get to soon, the residents of Hokkaidō believe that the Amemasu holds up the earth. When the giant fish or whale becomes tired, it shifts, causing earthquakes. In Akita Prefecture, there’s a place called Amemasu Otoshi. According to legend, the Amemasu was so powerful that it was able to kill a hawk (despite dying, as well, in the end).

Another legend is about Lake Kussharo, also in Hokkaidō. An Amemasu resided in the lake, one with a head that looked much like a rock. One day, Otashitonkuru, an Ainu hero, took a harpoon and tried to poke the cryptid’s eyes out. The fish fought back, and, desperate to hold onto the harpoon, Otashitonkuru grabbed ahold of a large rock. The creature ended up pulling so hard that it dragged to rock into the middle of the lake, creating the small island that now sits in the middle.

Another legend comes from Minabe, Wakayama prefecture. A large whirlpool appeared in a deep pond, where a giant Amemasu lived. It would emerge from the pond every spring, taking the form of a beautiful young woman. For two or three days, it would lure men away, taking them to a place where nobody could find them. Then, one day, a cormorant dove into the pond to hunt for fish, and was swallowed by the creature. However, the Amemasu floated to the surface, dead. The cormorant burst from the creature’s body.

A final tale is about the flat Konsengen’ya plain. A deer came down to have a drink of water, and was subsequently swallowed by an Amemasu. However, the deer’s antler rip open the cryptid’s stomach, killing it. The corpse of the creature blocks the lake, making floods a real danger. So, a god in the form of a bird warns people living nearby. Those who lived upstream took to higher ground, while those who lived downstream didn’t believe the bird. They go and find the Amemasu, dragging away its body. This caused the built up water to flow downstream and wipe out everything, creating the Konsengen’ya plain.

In addition to the legends, the Amemasu is said to attack boats and cause earthquakes.

[airedelalmena]

[airedelalmena]

Ruth Sorel-Abramowitsch as Salome

Ruth Sorel-Abramowitsch in the dance Salome, winner of the first prize. 1st International Artistic Solo Dance Competition in Warsaw (June 1933) view more on wordPress

Ruth Sorel-Abramowitsch as Salome, Warsaw, June 1933

view more on wordPress

[airedelalmena]

It's interesting how we need obsessions to cope with our lives. I mean, we either find an obsession or create one.