aitarri

[aitarri]

Circle of antiheroes

Hello again, the reader who may not be. I did write some time ago that this blog is more for my own reflection to the past thoughts a.k.a diary, here we go. So to follow protocol I should describe what had lead to this post. About two years ago I read Issekai'd Shoggoth, the book is not even near the end yet and I was in a rush, I was in need of something similar. Once I realized that this type of books exists I tried to find them all. My search is complicated and yet it is simple: antihero, woman, smart, lesbian, non-human, cares and loves her lovers, beat her woes. Simple as a clear pond. But let's say - not so many works are truly good.There are many basic works - the plot, the actions, the word building, the world building, other characters, and most importantly protagonist's intentions. Let's skip all works that do not fit to selection or rather crumpled rough overall boring. Here it is, behold the greatness and witness the perfection of their own genre: Isekai'd Shoggoth Tentacle Moster Queen Reborn from Cosmos This is my top. there is no competion between them, because they are different yet touch my heart. The sequance is just my timeline of reading them. Well, I hoped that I could find one more character to sit in this circle, I had hopes, and now I'm slithly disappointed.

Vespidian ... It's started a bit bumpy but fine - the character is not better than others, not smart, but there is Lou from Reborn from Cosmos, who is rather a bit of a simpleton and whose wives and elementals twist her around their fingers easily. Vesper is not kind, but there is Alyssa, who killed and drove mad, even eating people without remorse. Vesper's morality trembled very much in the beginning and did not exist in the end, I had a glimpse of the latest pages. And I'm very much disappointed. Let's count what exactly was wrong for me: - Vesper doesn't follow her own rules, she twists them to comply with her in any given moment. Proclaiming something inappropriate and then doing it herself; - Vesper forces people to her desires. She breaks girls around her and still calls it other names - by her own words, she subdues them, that's hypocrisy; - Vesper is racist, well not really strong, but many her first thoughts and conclusions were very much "American" in a bad way. I will spare some other things, which can be fine like the total not-in-characters moves and thoughts, stereotypes about other nations, клюква in Russian words. That's all I can tolerate. But, guys, some things can't be in my bookshelf. So in the circle of my antiheroes, maybe if Geneva plays with Vesper for a few days, it will show something interesting in her character and she will have a place.

[aitarri]

Issekai'd Shoggoth

Disclaimer I hereby proclaim that the review below contains all types of admiration and exaggeration of recent experience emotions and can not be perceived as a subjective evaluation.

Hah, actually all on this page so far.

It's been a few months then I started living a new life in a new country with a new job, the first things all settled the monotonous rhythm came back and I am back to my old habits as well. The subject actually changes constantly anyway - there were so many themes which could lead me to emotional amusement and new things here is manhwas. You can already find a previous post about one of them, outstanding from the usual love fluffy stories.

Now I want to tell you a story about the perfectly splendid fusion of all types of my most delicious favorites: 

the genius antihero lesbian, very gay and very smart (what a wonderful combination!) 

overpowered but all accordingly to plot settings 

hoard of cute girls all around 

issekai aka reincarnation plot start

magic world but with the possibility of progression and believable rules 

humor and orange/green morality eldritch abomination of chaos - shoggoth, as I can assume from Warhammer world more than from Lovecraft's 

There is no point telling the story itself, but I hope all mentioned details give you the general idea and will drive you to sink into this world too. For now, it's still in process of creation and you will find a lot of comments and answers from the author, moreover, Cytotoxin honestly tells us whatever we ask about the book even about upcoming events, if you'd like to glimpse of future of course. Find it here

Actually, I could be bought with much fewer details than was given, and I'm happy to find them all at once! My great grand and overwhelmed thanks to the author Cytotoxin.

This story is written on a free site, but I definitely would like to buy it when I will have a chance. And this is not what I do often indeed. I hope I will write a summary essay when the story will be completely released.

[aitarri]

I am not good at creating new, but I'm pretty fine in retouch, I hope it doesn't hurt anyone rights. This image come to my mind than I read Issekai'd Shoggoth by Cytotoxin on the Scribble Hub. "Revealing true form of shoggoth to Moon Unit in dreamwalk realm"

[aitarri]

White Angel have no rest / manhwa

I want to know why I like it so much. Is it a combination of a perfect unexpected plot and believable characters? I can't say this manhwa will be acceptable for human morale and our society. This manhwa is great living proof that one work could be a masterpiece in both genres - drawing and writing. The graphics style perfectly reflects the characters, the set, and emotions. There is only one way to express it - through the style of lines and colors. Please be careful reading this story and the previous one as well - if you can't read about bad people doing shit stuff over and over again you will hate it, I promise - there are no angels at all and nobody changing like in the fairy tale or romantic stories. Love is not a cure for a bad girls. But if you like very good stories and don't mind of really psychopaths you will enjoy it. Warning! Spoilers! Characters:

Younhwa - Absolutely wild psychopath and she knows that. Her feelings are like a fire beacon to all her actions, she will do anything she wants with a full heart. Albino's love is something cruel, expressed by teasing, biting, bulling, and all of the sadistic ways that could possibly come to her mind. Anyway in this part she changed a lot compared to the original story. Actually, she started to understand that she did bad things to girls around her at beginning of the end of the original story ( White Angel have no wings), and in this work, she trying to be better (in common moral terms of speaking). And the right choice doesn't mean a "happy ending" though. She pretty much reminds me Villanelle - the same energy of craziness I think.

Dahya - Classic school bitch with a perfect facade, she was crushed and ruined by Younhwa and didn't overgrows, what is become a driver of the plot for the ….No Rest. She pretends to be strong and all her actions are attempts to prove it to herself with the inner realization that she is not. I like that author gave her a chance to cure her emotional illness and Younhwa helped with it a lot :) but I think she only starts to become herself, maybe it will lead her back to Younhwa. I still hope that this pair could be perfectly splendid in their abnormal way. Dahya needs more time to understand who is she, and this end will give her time for that. Cross my fingers for their crazy love! Maybe I'm in love with bad girls that's why I like it so much. Thank you, Gado, I hope to see your works again By the way guys, I create a pack of stickers from this manhwa let me introduce it to you, please enjoy https://t.me/addstickers/whiteangelhavenorest if you have any suggestions I will add more stickers - just contact me here or in the telegram @cerodeux

[aitarri]

She-Ra and Princess of Power article №1 "about evil and good"

I'm tired to see "good" guys in cartoons and movies.

I started to watch She-Ra and Princess of Power, and I stopped it on the third episode. I feel unconscious annoyance during this watching. To whom it is the unknown thing I could describe the plot in short: somewhere far in space on the magic and technological planet situated two confronted forces - the chaos "machinery" group and confront indigenous and loyal to nature folk. Young and "golden retriever" type of girl from chaotic group discovers her special powers by suddenly found magical sword, also she found out the truth of cruelty of her team. She decided to change the side and become a good fellow. Her best friend from childhood girl-cat doesn't accept this decision and feel like an abandoned kitten also there is a dumb of childish problems with "parents" and symptom of a second child without love in the past. And this girl-cat intrigued me, I decided to find out her future in this thread, and all that I found was about her madness and evilness more and more. That was a problem!

The good guys always win, the situation always turns to best for them even if something looks hard job, it became to them in a lucky chance. These types of personages annoying me a lot. Instead of it - the anti-hero has always drowned deeper in the situation and we see them and think - poor souls going to hell because they don't accept the heroic goodness and their own decision making it happen. This type of plot becomes us thinking that evil feelings are our own guilty. But that's a trap, bad feelings are a part of being human it's normal to feel them.

Good guys trying to pick up the anti-hero from the bad side - and there is problem number two. All that need an anti-hero is a time and space to lives her/his angry thoughts and give them away. Honestly, I don't know how it works properly, but no one helping hands doesn't work without the willingness of villains.

[aitarri]

Few days ago I was listening new podcast of Natasha Negovanlis, I do care for her career and success in cinematography, collecting all my different thoughts I assume because of my own personal issues in things what I desire to get. She starred in one successful series and still haven't more famous projects - and I had a chance build career in design in Shanghai and I lost it, and now I stuck in the city which we wanted to leave and for the life in foreign countries with tolerant society. I feel how fast move the time, I wish a good and successful projects to Natasha, which is push her cinematic career

[aitarri]

No more love to purchase, I’ve invested in myself You know nothing about me, keep opinions to yourself No more complications, everything’s just swell No more obligations, there’s nothing more to tell 

[aitarri]

“Carm?” Laura called, wrapping her arms around herself as a cold breeze rushed through her.

The tall trees that grew unevenly throughout the forest appeared menacing under the red glow of the sun setting in the horizon, and the longer she walked the darker the path seemed. She had been looking for at least an hour, but so far there was no sign of any vampire, or very large black cat.

But Laura knew she had to be around. She could feel her, she could always feel her. But walking alone through the darkness, smelling nothing but damp dirt and humidity, Laura tightened her grip on herself and felt her as the knot in her throat grew larger with every word she whispered.

“Carm, please…”

Story by bnaz. Thank you so much <3

[aitarri]

To my love - Sophia

"Sonya's dream"

[aitarri]

I probably should read this book twice - in original and in translation. Doesn't know what should be first.

How many chances that I like it? I don't know. The story was written in centuries of time ago by man as a coutinery tale. I'm so tired about unhappy ends for "unormal" folks. Hope this will give me something more than just upset.

Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla (edited by Carmen Maria Machado)

[aitarri]

If anyone ever thinks that nobody will remember you or miss you if you die:

Today I read about a 17 year old girl who died recently. I didnt recognise her name, but I recognise her face.

I used to work at Subway, and I remember her. She would come in every Friday with her friends and order a tuna sandwich, double cheese and toasted. I knew her order off by heart because it was all she ever ordered, and she would always be very polite. I never knew her name until today.

I haven't seen her since I quit working there, 3 years ago. But I remember her and I remember her voice and her order and how polite she was and how I was always jealous of her hair. Now she will never order another 6 inch tuna sub and that is really upsetting me.

Somebody will miss you. Someone will remember you. The cashier at your local shop. The woman who always likes seeing you walk your dog. Your next door neighbours. A fellow school pupil who always admires your makeup or your hair. You will be missed.

[aitarri]

Ahahhaha

kristen stewart on the tonight show with jimmy fallon

[aitarri]

the Haunting of Bly Manor is further proof that girls who like girls will watch absolutely ANYTHING that has gay female characters in it. I have heard so many people say that they are afraid of horror and dolls and ghosts and yet we all watched that show anyways. Just to see two women fall in love.

[aitarri]

I have a little bit hope everytime when I see new gay lines

My absolute favorite thing is when actresses play a lesbian/bi character and end up realizing they are not as straight as they thought they were

Actresses on their way to play some gay lady be like:

[aitarri]

Я не очень люблю фильмы ужасов, не люблю боятся и мне не нравится этот раздражающий прием, с внезапным появлением монстра, или слишком отвратительными существами. Однако, среди множества вариантов страшных историй, мне нравится идея готических рассказов, их атмосфера, декорации и аристократическая утонченность. Дракула, Кармилла, серия рассказов "Вечера на хуторе близ Диканьки", сборники рассказов о призраках и проклятьях, в которых мистика переплетается с драмой и получается атмосферная пугающая история - это мне нравится. Сериал «The haunted of Bly Manor» это вторая часть анталогии, он как вторая страшная история в сборнике. Сюжет берет за основу сразу несколько рассказов из классических страшных историй, ни один из которых я пока не читала. Действие очень, очень неспешное. Пугающих моментов почти нет. В первых пяти эпизодах нам показывают множество странных загадок, а вот дальше все раскручивается быстрее, и все загадки разрешаются. Еще я бы хотела добавить, что всю историю и отдельных персонажей можно с легкостью раскрутить без мистики вообще. По сути мистику можно считать некой аналогией реальным драмам и болезненным состояниям. Каждый из персонажей полон разных психологических проблем, болезней, и чем больше мистики с ним происходит тем сложнее у них ситуация. Я рекомендую посмотреть сериал, если у вас достаточно терпения и есть желание окунуться в атмосферу классических историй о призраках.

[aitarri]

This article I published in IMBD, here I want to post as a my own opinion. Spoilers alert! I read previous reviews from other users, and found out that one of the biggest omission was, in their opinions "not enough vampirism" - reflection in the mirror, fangs, drinking blood, transformation into animals. But I think this movie no need all this confetti. In cinematography was a lot of difference in vampire nature and forces. For some obvious reasons the vampirism wasn't just a fairy tale - it interpreted as an illness. Pale skin, dreams looks deadly, absence of appetite. Looks close to many illness symptoms, isn't it? So here we have this type of vampirism - more realistic close to the occurrence of nature. We saw a lot of shots with nature itself, this is another sign. Young pretty girl was born as a left-handed, also she has curious mind and desires of knowledge, all of these features had been forbidden. Miss Fontaine was strict and religious in that manner where no one could be improper, in her interpretation. She wasn't holy she have been sinner. And when she finally found out all inopropriate evidences. She decided to "protect" Laura in same manner - forbides every unusial behaviors, right till the Carmilla death. But as we all see in last scene - Laura changed forever.

[aitarri]

“to truly love another person is to accept that the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them.”