akahellcat

[akahellcat]

vertigo

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Driving around the Scottish Highlands

marvin_walter

[akahellcat]

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

[akahellcat]

#The Same Exact Picture

[akahellcat]

marvel pls hire me I've got Ideas

(uncropped version)

[akahellcat]

To be honest, People would not be shipping Boblena if Bob was played by Steven Yeun instead of Lewis.

Lewis is a golden retriever white boy like Tom (nothing wrong with that) but most of them wouldn’t dare ship an Asian man with Florence/Yelena and it’s actually pretty sad.

Funny how shipping Bishova was a problem because Yelena was asexual but the second there’s a white man it’s suddenly fine to put her in a straight relationship. I know what yall are

With everything coming out about B*blena shippers (being racist and homophobic above all) on twitter, I know you're right.

I've personally distanced myself from the TB* fandom because it's nothing like the Hawkeye and Black Widow fandom(s). It's what happens when men hijack spaces previously occupied by mostly queer folks (and mostly women).

[akahellcat]

ELIO’S 2.5K PARTY ★ BLACK WIDOW (2021)

for @nataliaaromanovas ♡ happy birthday, char!

[akahellcat]

RHAENYRA TARGARYEN & ALICENT HIGHTOWER House of the Dragon, Season 2 Trailer

[akahellcat]

Annie: There are legends of people born with the gift of making music so true, it can pierce the veil between life and death; conjuring spirits from the past...and the future. In ancient Ireland, they were called Filí. In Choctaw land, they called them Fire Keepers. And in West Africa, they were called Griots. This gift can bring healing to their communities. But it also...attracts evil....

Sinners (2025)

[akahellcat]

bishova pizza date 🍕🍕🍕

[akahellcat]

Various stars & moon details from my gouache paintings 🌙✨

[akahellcat]

First chapter of my new Bishova fic, Hawkeye's New Avenger, is out! Set around the time of Thunderbolts*, it starts a week before the events of the movie. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65533471

[akahellcat]

@peggynet | PEGGY CARTER APPRECIATION WEEK 25’ day 7: birthday extravaganza  - peggy quotes

I conducted my own investigation because no one listens to me. I got away with it because no one looks at me. Because unless I have your reports, your coffee, or your lunch, I’m invisible.

[akahellcat]

RACHEL ZEGLER at the ‘Snow White’ press junket in Tokyo, Japan, dressed in a custom Paolo Sebastian gown inspired by the daggered heart box motif from the original 1937 Disney film (5th March 2025)

[akahellcat]

The immeasurable grief of losing both your parents in the span of 6.5 years at the age of 35 and all the secondary losses that come with it. My sister turned out to be a selfish piece of vile shit that doesn't give a flying fuck about me (because lucky her, she still has her mom so it's easier to close her eyes to my immense loss), and most of my friends seemed to have skirted over the whole thing now after 2 months (my dad died in January); and who can blame them? Grief is taboo, talking about it is for some reason uncomfortable (and I get it, I used to be the same) and people often don't know what to say unless they've gone through it themselves.

And me? I just want my mom back tonight. It will be seven years since I've lost her, this September.

One silver lining is that I have a small chosen family that absolutely have my back and hold space (how I hate that expression) for my grief whenever I need it. Tonight it feels immense and too hard to bear so I am here, whispering about it into the void of strangers and acquaintances who may or may not see this, and may or may not care.

Forgive me for bringing this darkness on your timelines tonight. It does feel better to type it all out.

[akahellcat]

Lady Sif in Thor The Dark World (2013)

@comicedit women in comics: Week 4 → Favourite underrated woman.

[akahellcat]

Chapter 4

Late Again! So sorry! I’d say that the next reaction would come on time but that would probably be a lie. I don’t have enough self-discipline for that. Also I don’t like the dot bullet points, they look jarring and sometimes they don’t show up when I copy and paste on this hellsite. So I’m trying out the dashes. Let me know which one is more aesthetically appealing. Also we’re heading more into the angst side of things now. Expected my reactions to maybe get more unhinged or more scattered brained-essay-like. Or more keyboard smashes. Or maybe all three. – 12/22/24

4/9/24 As you can see, my plan to release a chapter per week got away from me. Is this sort of how fanfic writers feel? I was going to finish it before I went on vacation, I swear. And then I didn’t. Then I went back to school. And now I’m desperately trying to find a reason to not do my school shit and it’s given me enough of a drive to continue these. That and the fact that I keep seeing Dickinson edits on my tl and the yearning has increased. 

7/11/24

So… 

Life happened. Erm.

Need I say more 

4/30/25

Bro. the Thunderbolts are almost out. I don’t think I’ll know what to do with myself once it’s out. Like I’ve literally been waiting for this movie since it was announced. Also I’ve been looking at my last reactions and some of them are incomprehensible. Like even I don’t know what I meant for some of them. Hmmm let me know if there’s a way to format them better

Ok I know I said I didn’t like Eleanor, but I do pity her. I can understand why she does this to her daughter but I can’t excuse it. She’s a product of her environment, you know? Is she more of a bitch than she has to be? Yes. But also that was one thing that gave some depth to her in Hawkeye. She did love her daughter. She went about it in the wrong way but she did want what she thought was best for Kate. 

God save Mary. Again. How old is she? I should probably know this

More gay staring across the window at each other. But also I wonder if Yelena is drawing Kate 

Buddy, if your heart flutters every time they wave? “New friends” are not the correct word for them

I think I already said this but lumberjack lesbians were apparently a thing even back in the 19th century

I wonder if Kate is watching Yelena chop wood with her mouth open. Is she drooling? probably.

4/9/24

Four months later and I’ve forgotten how gay these two are omg. Like I knew how much they want each other but like it’s hitting me in the face again how in love they are, you know?

Mary has just caught Kate staring again. She definitely knows about them. God bless Mary. please tell me she gets a happy ending? Please please please let Maary have a happy ending

“Yes, you just startled me. I was thinking about what to do with my hair tomorrow.” – lies lies lises lese leis lies and more LiEs. *insert that one little boy saying bullshit in his car seat*

It’s okay though. We all know Kate isn’t fooling anyone except herself. And she’s not even doing that very well

Oh my god. This is one of the moments I’ve been waiting for. You don’t understand, I’m having a physical reaction. Yelena in a gold dress and Kate not being able to take her eyes off her. While reading this I keep breathing hard and then I get so into reading it that I stop breathing. And then I have to remind myself to breathe again. What the fuck has this fic done to meeeee

Oh fuck, Yelena in a dress

I want Yelena as a character so much. Like I don’t care what she would do to me. I want Yelena to have me

As I’m reading Kate’s reaction, I understand her completely.

They both could step on me and I’d thank them

 Oh my god

They’re so sweet I’m going to die

The touches they just give each other are so second nature. But I know the person receiving the touch is absolutely wrecked. So much gaaaay. So much pining. So much fucking gay pining. 

I think that’s a thing though. You have a friend or a crush and the first time you realize that they can just touch you absentmindedly and not even think anything of it kind of sends you into a spiral, you know? 

I love that Kate appreciates the maids of the house. Such a good heart

Also, I wonder if Yelena and Mary said anything while Kate was getting the wine 👀 👀 👀

Ooof alcohol and crushes is not a good mix. I mean it is for us but that combination wreaks havoc on self-control. Half the bottle gone and Yelena already can’t keep her eyes off of Kate. And I’m sure them looking beautiful in dresses is not helping either of their yearning at all.

They’re alone

Together

Yeah sure, Kate. You’re nervous cause you haven't changed with friends in a while. No other reason. To be fair I’d be nervous about being half-dressed with my crush too

Oh my goooooood

The sexual tnesion. 

I wish i was articulate enough to express my words for how much I love the scene when Yelena is putting on Kate’s corset. 

This is why I read stories. The fact that people are talented enough to actually be able to put into words imaginary situations. And then be talented enough to elicit an actual reaction and make the reader fucking feel. It things like these that are why I love art. I love music and movies and books and paintings and this is fucking why. The artist perfectly captures what is happening and the consumer of the art is so dialed and is art-literate enough (just barely) to know what the author is trying to convey and empathize with the characters. This is why humanity needs art. It’s the fucking human connection of it all.

Sorry, I got slightly philosophical

Ok, back to the sexual tension. 

SDGFHLJEORUHGFDSJJ

But like Kate not knowing that she is actually attracted to Yelena and she just doesn’t know what to fucking do with this or why exactly it’s happening.

 and then I’m sure Yelena is absolutelyfucking dying. Cause I’m sure Yelena knows exactly how much she is attracted to Kate and can do absolutely nothing about it. And also maybe possibly reading the fucking signs and maybe thinking she’s imagining it and that there’s no way Kate is having the same reaction as her. This situation is so cruel and it’s fucking taunting her. Like in an alternate universe, this could be so different you start thinking maybe this could actually work.  From Yelena’s perspective maybe she could make a move and maybe Kate would reciprocate. But it’s not, and they’re stuck in this universe. And it just brings you crashing back down to earth. And the wanting to do something about it but knowing that if she did it would absolutely fuck up the relationship. And then just stuck in a madding limbo of almost reaching out but not. And the wondering and the wishing and the longing. You’re fucking killing me why did you write this story. (also not the projection ☠️☠️☠️ maybe I need to go back to therapy)  

And then she falls back into the easy smile and I’m assuming shuts everything off about this situation and just deals with it

Pockets. There’s nothing more gratifying than complimenting someone and they immediately smile their biggest smile and say “Thanks, it has pockets,” and shove their hands in said pockets to demonstrate 

Ugh help me I just want somebody to love. Is that too much to ask?

“My lips are really dry from the wind on Saturday.” “I can help with this.”. Yeah you can, Yelena

I’m….. not sure of the health implications of putting petroleum jelly on your bare skin? Much less on your face? Wasn’t that used to lubricate train wheels and shit back in the day?

Oh my god, more sexual tension. This time Yelena brought this one herself. It’s like that meme/picture of that girl sitting on top of the other girl in bed putting eyeshadow on, you know?

Oh fuck. The tension

I wish I had the words to accurately praise you on this whole scene but I truly don’t know where to start. I don’t know the right words much less how to say them. But know that I adore this more than I can describe

But also let’s not skip over the fact that Yelena fucking Belova wore a fucking dress and went to a ball just to make Kate happy. I’m not even sure I would do this for my crush. And she’s so nervous. Like I would not be able to do that. Like I’m sure that Yelena doesn’t exactly like people and has seen the worst side of humanity. And then she goes to a social outing where I’m sure she hasn’t exactly had good experiences with it in Alaska. High society is fucking vicious. And she goes anyway?!! The things we do for love

Of course, Yelena’s specialty is suits. Wearing and making them

The hand on the lower back. Kill me now. Swiftly and painlessly. I need it

Oh no. The pain Yelena must be going through. Ugh. kill me a-fucking-gain

The Jealousy

But also the banter through the jealousy

Oh fuck me they’re dancing and Yelena is in pain. “she still seeks Yelena in the place she has left her, and her smile is just a little wider every time their eyes meet.”?!! Um hello? WHy? Was this necessary?! I mean it absolutely was but am I ok? No. I’m not okay and you did this to me. Because you know that as Yelena’s smile gets wider she’s faking it more and more. And it’s more painful the longer she dances. When I read this line I don’t know what sound came out of me but I think it was lowkey a sob. 

But that must also be soul-crushing to watch for Yelena. Cause it must be such a jarring comedown from them dressing each other just a few paragraphs ago knowing that it will never be and just thinking to herself  “yeah that’s not for you”

7/11/24

“Thomas is by her side in an instant, but Kate feels like shoving him away.” the snort I snorted

Isolating oneself from the party and a nose stuck in a book. I am Yelena and Yelena is me. Of course she reads Brontë

Am I just misreading this or did dude-bro-Thomas just pull a pastry out of his suit pocket and start eating it. I think I must be misreading that. I think Yelena might have pulled a pastry out of her dress a page ago. But when thomas does it, it’s concerning. When Yelena does it, it’s endearing. Sue me

4/30/24

Reading through this reaction, I think the ghost of middle school me took over my body. RIP my middle school self, so many things would have clicked a lot faster if she had read this back then 💀💀💀💀💀. But it’s the journey, right?

Yelena, brooding in a corner, is definitely me. I can literally picture it. Mainly because I myself have done this and I felt so cool and mysterious to just be sulkily reading a book in the corner

But also I think I could tell that Yelena tried to retain a little bit of that anger and be a little passive-aggressive but it just doesn’t work. Kate gets all golden retriever puppy mode and is just so earnest and it’s just instant forgiveness 

Aaannndd Yelena comes back in with the banter to show her she’s not mad oof you poor poor child

Kate: “But I was hoping you would find a handsome man to dance with”

Me: hehehe…..hahahahha. That’s funny

“Has no one really caught your eye yet?” “Maybe.”. Ok i’m about to go on a whole thing because I love this trope so much. Like i would sell my soul so that this could happen to me (or maybe it already has and i don’t know it yet 👀👀) but I love when the audience knows who she’s talking about and Yelena knows who she’s talking about, but Kate, the main character/protagonsit, is completely clueless. I don’t know what about it I like so much, but it’s literally so *chef’s kiss*. Maybe it’s sort of almost breaking the fourth wall? It’s like the author tapping on the camera as if to say Yeah we all know what’s happening here and shares a conspiratorial look with us. Maybe I also like it because it’s like the writers or the authors actually trust their audience to pick up on subtext. I feel like that’s missing in a lot of today’s media. I kind of think that’s why entertainment has gotten so boring for a lot of people recently, there’s so much that is spelled out for the audience that it sort of takes all the joy out of it.

That’s sort of what happened with the new Captain America movie. They literally said that a war would happen 7 times. SEVEN TIMES.  I know. I KNOW. Yes, the world is in danger. We get it. I’m an idiot, but I’m not that much of an idiot. You're wasting valuable screentime driving this home over and over again. You literally only need to say it once. Maybe twice for the idiots in the back. Heck I would be willing to go out on a limb to say that a good movie doesn’t even need to say it. The audience should be able to infer it. 

But then again I say that and then I think of the Severance and Arcane fandoms on twitter. This amount of stupid takes I’ve seen has made me steadily lose faith in humanity. SUBTEXT IS A THING PEOPLE. Do you need to have it spelled out for you to get it? Did you pay attention at all during english class? Or are people just that stupid? Critical thinking? Is it in the room with us? HELLO??!!

Sorry, the plot got away from me for a sec. I think I needed to rant. Imma get off my soapbox now. Back to our regularly scheduled programming

“Dancing with somebody else” I think something just cracked inside me chest. This whole scene is just magnificent. I have been on the other side where I’ve talked about them to their face and I know they don’t get it. Because why would they? Ah the wlw experience of falling for your friend. Suppress, yearn, pine. Siri, play What Can I Do? and/or I Do by Renee Rap

Also, the gentle knee rubbing that has been going on ❤️❤️❤️

Oof, I know Yelena asked that just to test if Kate was interested in him. And then it going completely over Kate’s head, and she just agrees

Come to think of it, I don’t think I actually know what Thomas looks like besides “green eyes” and “dashing”. Literally. I just searched for any physical descriptors and that’s all I found. No hair color, no height, no skin complexion. Dimples? No idea. Good teeth? Why even ask? It’s a funny juxtaposition because Kate, in her head, has all but spouted poetry about what Yelena looks like. In every scene, I know exactly what her eyes look like, what hairstyle she has, what clothes she’s wearing, etc. I even know what her forearms look like. Kate just does not give a flying fuck about Thomas. It’s hilarious. *insert the “Good for her” meme*

Not the half-hearted smile. Kate, you’re killing me and Yelena

Stupid Thomas. That’s his legal name from now on

So much jealousy. How the turn tables turn.

“‘You look beautiful.’ Thomas says for the third time tonight” 🍅🍅🍅get a new pickup line lover boy 🙄🙄. He literally has the whole of the english language and that’s it? Since he was rich I’m pretty sure he had a private tutor to teach him classically. During that time weren’t they still teaching the rich kids French, Italian, and German? Booooooo he probably had all the romance languages at his disposal and that’s the amount of effort? 🍅🍅🍅 Yelena’s passing comments made Kate blush more than his full-assed compliments

Oop gotta make your crush a little jealous by not staring at her constantly. That’ll do the trick. Oh except it doesn’t work because you’re right back to staring at her the second she looks away. 

Lol Kate is lowkey throwing herself away from Thomas. Or is it towards Yelena

The fact that lavender is such a prominent thing in this fic is just right on the nose. The fact that Yelena smells like lavender? C’mon, you’re just taunting us at this point. (It was at this moment I remembered what the name of the fic was 💀)

Ugh, the casual intimacy of just leaning back into someone who’s holding you from behind. Oh my god just marry each other already

Poor Kate, at least she knows she’s a little jealous. She’s not sure what she’s jealous about but acknowledgment is the first step

Caring more about the dog than the man. Accurate and understandable

“The man with the accent” lol. Kate has a thing for accents

Frederick the cinnamon roll

Not Kate being unable to tear her eyes away from Yelena in a dress.

“Eleanor Bishop goes to bed every night at ten o’clock, without fail, and tonight is no exception.” I see what you’re doing here 😉 😉 I’ve listened to the end of the playlist. Unless i’m reading too much into it

“Thank you for the girls’ night, truly.” a perfect nod to cannon that deserves a hat tip

Falling asleep on your best friend’s shoulder every carriage ride because you feel so safe and comfortable 🥺🥺🥺🥺

The freckkllleeesss

THE LIP STARING HAHAHDFHSJDFSKJDFHLSF

"You looked very beautiful tonight." listened I know I just bashed Thomas to pieces for saying this exact same line but it’s not the same, ok? It’s not. It’s completely different. Thomas seemed like he pulled that out of his ass. Yelena’s might as well have been a profession of love. It’s different

Pushing someone’s lock of hair away from their face has gotta be one of the top 5 romantic things you can do. Ugh kill me already

In another world, this would be Yelena dropping Kate off after a date.

Ngl when I first read this, I thought Yelena was going straight for the lips. I was like girl you better hold on ‘cause Kate’s not ready for that yet

I wonder how much strength it took her to not kiss her full on though. It must have hurt so much not too. I like to think she’s imagining in her head that she is dropping Kate off from a romantic night out and for a split second this may be possible. 

When does Yelena start thinking Oh shit maybe she might actually like me? Is it here?

The cheek kiss though 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

HJGSDKAFLADGHDFSGD THEY WERE SO CLOSE

“It is such a stark contrast to Thomas’ goodbye kiss. Not better, no— just so much different.” it’s not healthy to lie to yourself, Kate. It’s ok, we all know it was better. Let’s be honest, Thomas’ kiss was barely a blip on the radar

Ugh the sapphic yearning. It’s fucking killing me. AAAAHHHHHHH

Weren’t violets back then a way of identifying lesbians? When you saw a violet on someone ifkyk?

Also what’s gayer than giving your crush a bouquet of violets and a fucking poem. Nothing says gal pals more than iambic pentameter 

The poem is about an overlooked beautiful girl so I’m taking this as Yelena full on complimenting Kate. and not in a subtle way. With violets

Poor kate. She doesn’t know how down bad she is. She’s literally reading a poem her friend gave her until she falls asleep and clutch the flowers to her chest

It’s okay, she just needs to be subtly nudged in the right direction

My heart🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️

and it seems the dashes went away. oh well

also the reaction lengths have actually quintupled since the first chapter and we're just now getting to chapter 5 💀💀. Let me know if you want them shorter

IT'S DONE THOUGH!! LET'S GOOOOOO!!!! it only took me a little over a year but hey, better late than never am i right? hopefully the next one will be much sooner 👀👀

You are quite literally insane for doing this (in the BEST way), and I am insane because I keep rereading it! Thank you SO much!!

This is one of my favorite, if not THE favorite chapter I've written of this fic.

I'm not sure if you actually asked me some of these questions or if they were rhetorical-stream-of-consciousness type of thing so please do let me know! I'd love to answer them if it's the former.