alihsi

[alihsi]

Confessions from a fandom insider; or how people will do anything to believe rich white men who pretend to be 'nice guys' over survivors just because said white guy tweeted 'gay rights' or 'women matter'

Aka: a post revealing the reactions of the good omens fandom when the orignal allegations against Neil gaiman came out.

***Edit: someone pointed out to me referring to those who gaiman assaulted as victims emphasizes gaiman's control over them and keeps them in a state of powerlessness and asked me to refer to them as survivors to emphasize their healing instead of keeping them in the same space that they were under gaiman. I will edit the post to reflect the correct language but for clarity's sake and because I believe in holding myself to the same standard I would others, I'm staying accountable for using harmful language and taking note of the fact that I was wrong and am so sorry for referring to these women as victims when they are in fact survivors

***Edit edit because I forgot this is Tumblr: by referring to these women as survivors I don't mean to erase the experience of those who didn't survive or mean to participate in a society that is uncomfortable with allowing people to be victims so that it can pretend we don't need changing on a structural level. No I don't support the idea that a person needs to be a survivor and is required to be resilient or whatever the fuck else for their trauma to be valid. I am still keeping my previous edits however because a. These women survived. That is factually correct. And b. This post is not about those that did not survive but rather about these specific women. So I will use language tailored to these specific women.

Post under cut

I've been a long time member of fandom communities on the internet. So I'm in general familiar with fandom drama and how people react when their favourite authors get exposed as being awful people. I was there when terf lady was exposed and as you can guess, I was there when the allegations against Neil gaiman came out.

Now, I'm not ashamed to admit I was a fan of certain gaiman made media. I enjoyed the adaptations of good omens, sandman, and dead boy detectives but that was mostly it. We ran in the same circles and I reblogged fanart on Tumblr and went about my merry way. So I was adjacent to the gaiman fandom when all this went down. And my god it was hell opening up under their feet. People were denying the allegations, finding strawman reasons for why gaiman couldn't possibly be a predator or have sexually assaulted those women. They were genuinely running smear campaigns.

People were talking about how the reporter is actually a terf and this was all a smear campaign against gaiman by conservatives who wanted to destroy 'the only genuinely non-disingenuous ally the queer community has'. Nobody was talking about why this behaviour might have been exactly the reason scarlett might have gone to a terf in the first place (note: I am not defending terfs. As a trans person I condemn all terfs and this is not in any way meant to be taken as a pro terf post).

There was more discourse about what this meant for good omens s3 rather than how gaiman must have completely ruined the lives of the survivors. it was some of the most unsympathetic self absorbed behaviour I have seen in fandom in all my years in fandom spaces. People were using neurodivergence as an excuse for both why they couldn't give up the material and for gaiman. People called it an anti bdsm campaign (note: this post is NOT anti bdsm or autistic people who don't understand social cues).

For a fandom that had modelled itself after having an accepting and diverse community that most of all supported women's rights, it was surprising to see people so quickly turn against survivors just because it went against their viewpoint of their favourite author. These very same people who would go to bat against amazon for cancelling their favourite show about white gays would not do the same for actual real life breathing women who aren't fictional characters they can read fanfic about.

What's my point with all this? Im talking about a bigger fandom wide trend about forming parasocial relationships with creators of media, especially when they espouse liberal ideology. gaiman's entire shtick was that he was this approachable goofy dad-like figure who openly supported a marginalised community leading many vulnerable people to think that he was that guy in real life. People searching for any form of connection found it when he lovebombed them before revealing his true colours

This doesn't mean we should be forever paranoid of any public figure we come across on the internet but should learn to form firm boundaries as people and fandom with the knowledge that this person could always be revealed to have been bad actually. And we should do this in a way that doesn't shatter our whole worldviews. If giving up his creations is uncomfortable to the point of making you sick then you need to seek out therapy for these parasocial dynamics you form.

Having to rearrange your world view to accept that the persona gaiman created (because at the end of the day interacting with fans is a part of his job, a part he abused, but still a job for which he uses a persona and not the real person he is) is not real or that your favourite show might be cancelled might hurt you but I ask that you explore those feelings in private instead of coming online and yelling about it to the point it overshadows the voices of the victims.

Because this is not normal behaviour. Gaiman sees vulnerable fans as people to exploit and perpetuating fan culture surrounding his work just opens the doors to more people falling prey to his insidious charm. Please, think why you feel the need to defend him instead of the survivors, people we should actually empower.

Because it's always about believing survivors isnt it? Well, at least until it's someone you know (who being cancelled will result in you being sad)

[alihsi]

These are gorgeous! Love the line work!

Landscapes from my sketchbook.

[alihsi]

Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:

- shorter time between periods

- irregular periods

- hot flashes and/or cold flashes

- fucked up sleep

- OMG NIGHT SWEATS

- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert

- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants

- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times

This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.

Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:

- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.

- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.

- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.

- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.

- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀

- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)

- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).

I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.

Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)

Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!

[alihsi]

as an aroace person with limited sexual experience, no interest in watching porn, and poor sex ed as a teen, there IS something simultaneously funny and vaguely tragic about being 28 adult years old and realising how extremely tiny your frame of reference is for genitalia and deciding you should expand this to better understand bodies (yours and others). and then you’re just there like “okay so what the fuck do I even google right now, anyway”

[alihsi]

truly what is r the main differences like ACTUAL differences not things in common with adhd and autism

[alihsi]

As a Jew I wholeheartedly believe that, folks who are pretending nothing is wrong and Palestinians aren't being murdered every day would have absolutely ignored the Holocaust and let my folks get killed without blinking an eye.

Americans have a lot of heroic fantasies about what they would have done during the Holocaust or chattel slavery, and the answer for a lot of them is absolutely nothing. They would have complained about the people actually doing things for being too disruptive. We Jews did the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, and they would have called this terrorism. They would have also complained about MLK and Malcolm X, the former of which took the economies of entire cities hostage. Modern day disruptions don't hold a candle to historical disruptions.

In a two of more decades, people are going to use excuses like "I didn't know!" or pretend they were supportive all along, making tear jerking films about the Palestinian plight. We need to not let them do this.

[alihsi]

the pride discourse is absolutely rancid this year, i have seen with my own two eyes so far

we should up to age of consent to 21

16 year olds shouldn’t know what sex is

drag is inherently sexual and inappropriate for children

[alihsi]

Hey :)

[alihsi]

On this year women's day, all we could think about are Palestinian women in Gaza.

Nearly 9,000 women have been killed in Israeli attacks in five months. Another 2,100 are missing and presumed dead, while 23,000 have been wounded and over half a million are displaced.

“Palestinian women, especially in the Gaza Strip, are exposed to the worst humanitarian catastrophe,” Ashraf al-Qudra, the health ministry’s spokesperson, said on Thursday.

Dozens of women and girls have also been detained and face harsh conditions in Israeli custody, including sexual abuse.

Women in Gaza also struggle to find menstruation products and access the necessary pregnancy and post-natal care. The consequences on reproductive health, including a rise in stress-induced miscarriages, stillbirths and premature births, have increased significantly.

Women in labour are undergoing caesarean procedures without anaesthetics, and a shortage of post-operative care such as medication, antibiotics and pain relief further exacerbates the situation.

According to the health ministry, 5,000 women give birth monthly in Gaza under “harsh, unsafe and unhealthy” conditions caused by Israeli bombing and displacement.

There are 60,000 pregnant women in Gaza suffering from “malnutrition, dehydration and lack of medical care.

There have also been repeated cases of Israeli soldiers mocking Palestinian women by posting videos and pictures of themselves rummaging through personal belongings in Gaza homes, making derogatory comments and posing with women’s underwear.

[alihsi]

D: I suppose it's inevitable, as every T&C probably gives rights to every "free" site we post on the rights to use our data this way, but it is still awful to know that a relatively open platform will go the same way as every other social media platform and sell your data. Maybe it's time to Glaze every piece at least.

What is this about the tumblr staff wanting to sell art data to midjourney?

An ex-colleague of mine mentioned yesterday that there may be contacts between Automattic and midjourney in that direction, but nothing is public yet and I don't have any more info. They probably won't have anything specific to share either, since they left the company weeks ago too. That being said:

I have no reason to doubt my ex-coworker word, they are a trustworthy person.

Tumblr's CEO has been absurdly enthusiastic (comically, even) about AI, and is a big fan of LLMs and 'AI' companies.

A deal with midjourney could solve tumblr financial issues (not the same company, but openAi is paying up to 5 million/year to news companies to use their content as training data... tumblr generates several orders of magnitude more content than any newspaper or any media company and it only would need a 20 to 30 million per year deal to be profitable)

So I don't have any extra info yet, but I'm keeping my ears open.

[alihsi]

Past extinct ecosystems are so fascinating and alien to us, especially for only having whispers of what was there through fossil records.

ftr I am forever going to be bitter that the post I wanted to be "let's talk about extinct ecosystems and how cool they are!" got derailed into yet another post just talking about a single taxon like the millions of other posts on palaeoblr

[alihsi]

It does get harder not to call it genocide when the Israeli government told Gaza Palestinians to move to the south if they didn't want to be bombed. And then, bombed 1.5 million people and called it a victory when they rescued 2 hostages. This after "accidentally" killing hostages earlier in the war.

They are carpet bombing Rafah. The over 1.4 million Palestinians in Rafah are being targeted at what is now 4 in the morning for them. They are posting their goodbyes.

[alihsi]

I realize it's a giant tangle of foreign policy and there are many reasons (internally, future prospects, past guilt) why the US supports Israel wholeheartedly without question, but as a country, we got so angry at Saudi Arabia killing Jamaal Khashoggi, but here, where apparently, in a war where the highest numbers of journalists are being killed, the US is saying nothing publicly besides a gentle plea for Israel to please not kill the civilians.

And yet, we also see this creating a precedent, where if Israel is allowed to commit these war crimes with impunity, Russia would be happy to do the same to Ukraine and China to Taiwan.

And it's that whole ridiculous Skittles argument again. Can't trust anyone if one of those Palestinians might be a Hamas fighter, but as any insurgent expert would tell you, killing women, children, journalists, and starving a population is just going to create a bigger population of people that resent you with more people that might consider that they have nothing to live for but violence or vengance.

[alihsi]

Loving the aesthetic. Only little niggle is the perfect spots of the stars is a bit distracting.

Strange roadside buildings where you shouldn’t ever go.

[alihsi]

addendums: cult classic tv overlaps with early supernatural seasons somewhat, i am aware, just choose based on the cultural context in which you read your first fic.

for weeaboo crew i was thinking of examples like hetalia, black butler, soul eater, etc--popular anime absolutely included but the distinction is that people who were into dragon ball weren't necessarily going to anime club every week and making deviantart stamps about yaoi, but people into ouran high school host club ABSOLUTELY were.

homestuck is in its own category because homestuck changed fandom forever at a critical time which just happened to be when i was growing up in fandom. harry potter, lotr, star wars, and twilight are in their own categories because they were such multimedia juggernauts they had entire archives dedicated solely and only to their fic that spanned multiple franchise reboots (books -> movies -> extended universes). (i acknowledge star trek technically would fit under this but at the time culturally it had more overlap with other cult classic tv fandoms.)

honorable mentions that didn't make it to the list because i had to pick-and-choose with the 12 answer limit: the final fantasy franchise (axed because i am not familiar enough with the fic scene to know if it was as iconic of a gateway drug as, like, naruto or twilight or star wars fic), a general YA lit category (YA lit outside of twilight only went mainstream slightly after this time period), the MCU (i have a hate boner for the MCU), a broader "american superhero comics" category (this would be valid as an option but i don't have the space)

[alihsi]

hello!

[alihsi]

People & countries mentioned in the thread:

Congo - M23, Cobalt

Darfur, Sudan - International Criminal Court, CNN, BBC (Overview)

Tigray - Human Rights Watch (Ethnic Cleansing Report)

the Sámi people - IWGIA, Euronews

Hawai'i - IWGIA

Syria - Amnesty International

Kashmir- Amnesty Summary (PDF), Wikipedia (Jammu and Kashmir), Human Rights Watch (2022)

Iran - Human Rights Watch, Morality Police (Mahsa/Jina Amini - Al Jazeera, Wikipedia)

Uyghurs - Uyghur Human Rights Project (UHRP) Q&A, Wikipedia, Al Jazeera, UN Report

Tibetans - SaveTibet.org

Yazidi people - Wikipedia, United Nations

West Papua - Free West Papua, Genocide Watch

Yemen - Human Rights Watch (Saudi border guards kill migrants), Carrd

Sri Lanka (Tamils) - Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch

Afghans in Pakistan - Al Jazeera, NPR

Ongoing Edits: more from the notes / me

Armenians in Nagorno-Karabakh/Azerbaijan (Artsakh) - Global Conflict Tracker ("Nagorno-Karabakh Conflict"), Council on Foreign Relations, Human Rights Watch (Azerbaijan overview), Armenian Food Bank

Baháʼís in Iran - Bahá'í International Community, Amnesty, Wikipedia, Minority Rights Group International

Kafala System in the Middle East - Council on Foreign Relations, Migrant Rights

Rohingya - Human Rights Watch, UNHCR, Al Jazeera, UNICEF

Montagnards (Vietnam Highlands) - World Without Genocide, Montagnard Human Rights Organization (MHRO), VOA News