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Focus on the Fruit

Photo Credit: Miriam Alster/Flash90 What does your prayer life look like? Philippians 4:6-7 tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I don’t know about you, but there have been (and…

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Walk by Faith

Image by The Chosen “Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.” John 13:16 (ESV) Christianity is not for the faint of heart. It means walking by faith in a shattered, broken world. One where culture dominates mainstream social media. Influencing our youth through viral “trends” faster than their developing minds…

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This is My Testimony

“I was one way, and now I’m completely different. And the thing that happened in between was Him.” ~The Chosen I was a self-proclaimed energy healer, starseed, and certified Reiki master practitioner. I used crystals for divination and flipped through angel oracle cards, tarot cards and runes for answers to questions I couldn’t figure out on my own. I consulted with psychics, mediums, my spirit…

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Muscle and Fitness HERS Magazine, 2021 Cover Competition

Muscle and Fitness HERS Magazine, 2021 Cover Competition

www.mshealthandfitness.com/2021/amber-rae{PLEASE CLICK THE LINK ABOVE TO VOTE!} ONLY 4 DAYS LEFT TO HELP ME SECURE THE #1 SPOT IN MY GROUP!PLEASE CLICK THE LINK ABOVE TO VOTE! Although I’ve been in the running for the title of Ms Health & Fitness 2021 (through Muscle & Fitness HERS magazine) for nearly four weeks now, my health and fitness journey began in May of 2014. Through the outpouring of…

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Kindness is Magic

Each of us has a story to tell. Each of us has something we are dealing with on a daily basis. That something can be a hindrance or an opportunity to  strengthen the very core of our being.

However, I don’t feel “negative” experiences give us the right to walk around being a grumpy pants McGee, taking out our frustrations on the nearest passer by or stranger we come across. Kindness is magic and…

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With Gratitude

Next month marks the celebration of my five-year cancerversary; five years in remission, five years cancer free, five years of being healthy and strong. If my cancer battle had gone differently, if my treatment had come any later, there were so many moments I could have missed out on.

…my son running full-speed across a soccer field, fervent determination his eyes, his cleated foot winding back…

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Goddess Prayer

Goddess Prayer

Wild moon woman,

open your eyes.

Lengthen your legs,

outstretch arms overhead.

Call forth

your greatness.

Releasing yesterday’s woes.

You have breath

in your lungs.

Pulse beating from heart.

Remember your true nature –

Goddess.

Celestial being,

divine work of art.

A fire lay dormant,

within you.

Stir the embers,

let her rise.

Awaken the flames,

of your passion.

Spirit and heart,

t…

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Sacred Awakening

In June, I self-published a book on Amazon titled “The Gift of Cancer” about my year-long cancer journey.

About a week ago, I republished the book, with a new title and a new cover:

“Sacred Awakening: Healing on my journey of cancer through faith, family and gratitude”

All of the content within the book has remained the same, save for a few grammatical corrections and the addition of a reference…

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Book Launch Par-yay!

This past Sunday was the first official book launch party for my new book; The Gift of Cancer: A journey of transformation through faith, family and gratitude.

During the course of my initial diagnosis, treatment and surgeries – I kept a personal journal, kept friends and family updated on Facebook and published blog posts here on WordPress. I’ve spent the last four months compiling all of those…

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  When you’re open to meeting new people, you never know what random conversations with strangers can lead to…

After moving to a new town, it quickly became apparent that I needed a new gym closer to home. As much as I loved the local Planet Fitness, it’s million dollar face lift and all the new equipment that came with it – commuting an hour each way daily was exhausting.

When I found “The Club;” ten minutes from home complete with a sauna, olympic size swimming pool, jacuzzi, basketball court, affordable membership with childcare, a shit ton of classes and FREE WEIGHT Olympic bars, it was such a blessing!

(If you’ve ever gone from Planet Fitness to a “real gym,” you understand and appreciate the importance of having an actual squat rack with Olympic training bars)

For seven or eight months, while training in the weight room of the new gym, I’d sneak peripheral peaks through glass windows into the adjoining basketball court – at the class training there twice a week.

The women and men who trained displayed some of the craziest feats of strength and endurance/conditioning I had ever seen. They flipped tires, ran ladder drills and made box jumps looks easy. I couldn’t help but marvel at their strength and unity.

You know that scene in the latest Wonder Woman movie where young Diana watches the other Amazons train, desperately longing to join them? Yeah, that was me every time I watched this class.

I wanted to be part of THAT.

But fear infiltrated my Warrior heart like an undetectable poison.

I’m afraid to try something new…

What if I don’t fit in?

What if I’m not strong enough or can’t keep up?

I’m afraid of joining a class on my own…

This went on for months.

Then, through what I can only describe as divine intervention, Kathy (one of the women from the strength training class) started a conversation with me in the locker room. It was something along the lines of “Hey I see you training all the time in the weight room, you should totally come to class!” That conversation was all I needed to kill my ego, face my irrational fears and finally step into the Hybrid Strength & Conditioning class I so admired.

Just a couple of Amazons getting our Strong Woman training on! Kathy (left) my inspiration for joining the class and Steph (right) one bad mamma mamma and all round rad mama! BOOYAH!!!

185 pound deadlift, four reps!

Grip, focus, ground yourself, breathe…

LIFT!

Nearly a year after stepping into that class; I’ve learned to flip 600 lb and 700 lb tires, nail it with box jumps, pull a pickup truck with kegs and several dope humans in the bed of that truck and lift some crazy ass shit…like this 185 pound dead lift with two jeep tires attached on an axel! (pictured above)

As Hybrid Athletes; we train together, support one another though life’s ups and downs and encourage growth in every aspect of our lives. This dynamic group of badass athletes aren’t just people in a class, they’re family. A family that would have never become part of my life, had it not been for a cancer diagnosis pushing me to join the gym…and of course for that lovely divine intervention! 😉

This journey through “dis-ease” into health and wellness has been hard, trying, and at times completely exhausting. Yet every step of the way has guided me toward living a more fulfilled life. A life centered around gratitude and compassion with a much deeper connection to the world around me.

To read more about the PHENOMENAL WOMEN of this class and how they kick ass in Strong Woman training on the weekends too…click HERE!!!

In Honor of Fitness Friday… When you're open to meeting new people, you never know what random conversations with strangers can lead to...

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Rest, Recover, Reflect

Standing, unilateral, landline press with a two-inch, Olympic weight bar weighing about 44 pounds (20 kilos) 3 SETS EACH SIDE: 15 lb. plate added for 7 reps, 10 lb. plate added for 10 reps, no weight added (bar only) for 10 reps

One week ago today, was my first day back at the gym after a two week hiatus spent recovering from the flu and pneumonia. Hit the weights hard, warmed up with a little…

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(February 1, 2018)

Re-post from my IG page @amber.strong.journey

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Clearing clutter in my room tonight and came across photos a friend had taken of me and my kiddos for her photo journalism project. As I held each photo in my hand, I sobbed. Grateful tears streamed down my face as I felt each moment as though I were there again. The pain of needles going into my port, the joy of sharing moments with my children, the sadness of friends and family who I’ve lost to cancer since my own diagnosis, the deeply humbling sense of being grounded because of knowing what it is to face my own mortality. Love your babes, cherish the little moments, let sunsets take your breath away and don’t ever be afraid to love too deeply or to laugh too loudly. Every day is a gift, a blessing and another shot at making the moments count. Choose love  

Choose Love (February 1, 2018) Re-post from my IG page @amber.strong.journey Clearing clutter in my room tonight and came across photos a friend had taken of me and my kiddos for her photo journalism project.

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Failure; The Warrior's Prelude to Success

Failure; The Warrior’s Prelude to Success

Show me a person who thinks that failure isn’t an option and I’ll show you a person who never grows. We are are so terrified of failing and rejection as a society, conditioned to strive for perfection. Yet if we stay within our comfort zone, stick to what we know we won’t fail at, countless opportunities are lost. Opportunities for growth, for new friendships to develop, for romantic…

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Credit: Julian Parker-Burns photography

Extending my sincerest gratitude to Julian Parker-Burns Photography for capturing these candid moments of me at Luthier’s Co-Op during “Unbuttoned, An Evening of Spoken Word!”

Writing short stories and creating poetry is something that, throughout most of my life, has helped me the come through the darkest of circumstances with a healed heart – however bruised it may be. When I began my cancer journey, it was no different. 

This blog allowed me to connect with all of you, to not feel so alone on the road to wellness. For that, I can never begin to thank you enough  – for reading my posts, for following me on my journey, for sharing your own stories of how mine has impacted you – I am so truly grateful.

After listening to a “School of Greatness” podcast with Lewis Howes and Rupi Kaur, a few months back, something in me shifted. Rupi’s story inspired me. As much as I had spent the past year unearthing my truest self – another part lay hidden, beneath the layers of motherhood, being a woman, working hard and achieving my goals. A part of me lay buried beneath the ash of pain and sorrow, waiting to be brushed off with life anew.

A few days after listening to the podcast, a completely unrelated conversation with a friend led me to discovering a local open mic night. It offered poetry in the beginning and live music afterward, the second Tuesday of every month. It was pretty clear what I had to do.

The first time I sat down to write that poem for open mic night, was beneath the shade of a large maple tree. That is, until a group of ants decided to use me as their personal playground. I quickly moved my blanket out onto the open field. My best friend Emmylou from England was a few hundred feet in back of me, sitting on park grass, journaling away. I remember how warm the sun felt on my back, beating down without a cloud in the sky.

I was nervous about writing again. Would my poetic muse still be there for me after all this time? I had abandoned her when she was always by my side. For a good five to ten minutes, I heard that old “worrier” voice in my head, “You’re not a poet anymore, it’s been too long.” Followed by “You’ll never have time for this, it can’t be done.”

I hadn’t come this far, to give up now. I regrouped, put Lindsey Stirling on in my earbuds, took a breath and that’s when I heard her. My inner Warrior shouting to me, “It can be done, you’ve got this, MAKE the time for it!”

Like a distanced lover, who you never really had a falling out with, but instead just drifted apart from – my poetic muse embraced me with open arms. I did finish my poem that afternoon and read it that night, aloud at that open mic event. It was INCREDIBLE!

Last week I returned for open mic again. The poem I prepared was “A Letter to Cancer,” about both the struggles of treatment and the people who pulled me through. Just minutes before going on stage, it hit me that it was also my three-year Cancerversary. What a beautifully raw, emotionally charged, empowering way to celebrate being three years in remission!

A LETTER TO CANCER

Dear Cancer,

You thought You damned me,

condemned me to death.

But instead…

You breathed into my life

a power I had yet to know.

More fulfilling than the first breath that, 

into newborn lungs, flows. 

Dear Cancer,

You gave me,

bee sting pinches

for port access

just below my collar bone.

Toxins,

every other Tuesday

that took away my glow. 

Nine months of…

treatment

for

every

one

of

those

I

fought

through.

My son lent me his strength.

My daughter guided me with her light.

You thought I’d give up

when I got you.

But I had butterfly kisses

and little league baseball games to go to.

Berry bubblegum serenity

lingering on my little one’s

freshly shampooed hair.

Dear Cancer,

 Chemotherapy caused me pain…

physical pain.

I walked on invisible shards

of broken glass

each time bare toes touched cold concrete.

Put on socks

to go in the basement.

Wore gloves

just to wash clothes.

Dear Cancer,

I had enough!

In spite of You

I didn’t give up.

One week on treatment,

the next at the gym.

Protein shakes,

power lifting,

then chemotherapy again.

Slowly…

5 pounds on.

Steadily,

ten more.

Dear Cancer,

I’ve gained weight now. 

You have…

forged a fighter,

within me.

A survivor, 

an inspirer. 

Dear Cancer,

I dont hate You

anymore.

You thought You damned me,

condemned me to death.

But I see now,

You were never my disease…

You were..

my CURE.

  “Unbuttoning” My Cancerversary Extending my sincerest gratitude to Julian Parker-Burns Photography for capturing these candid moments of me at Luthier's Co-Op during "Unbuttoned, An Evening of Spoken Word!"

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Let Challenge Transform You

Let Challenge Transform You

PHOTO LEFT: This was me, 3 years ago this May, age 29, three months into chemotherapy…and super blonde! I weighed 119 pounds, my hair was thinning, exhaustion and fatigue were relentless daily adversaries, intent on defeating me.                                                                                          PHOTO RIGHT: Fast forward to today, this photo was taken Feb 2017. I now weigh…

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Celebrating Two Years Cancer Free

Celebrating Two Years Cancer Free

The day before yesterday, 12-12-16, was my Two-Year-Cancerversary. It was also Frank Sinatra’s Birthday. Lucky coincidence? I think not.

It’s been two years since a follow up colonoscopy, post chemo completion, deemed me cancer free. What a feeling :)

How did I spend the day celebrating? The night before I attended a Reiki share with some fellow Reiki practitioners. It left me feeling super…

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What me and Old Blue Eyes have in common...

What me and Old Blue Eyes have in common…

This past December, I celebrated my 1 year Cancerversary, one week after my Aunt lost her five year battle with aggressive lung cancer. What happens after you survive cancer and you lose a loved one to the disease? That’s something that I don’t think even the best doctors and nurses in the world can prepare you for. I couldn’t remember being so angry at the Universe when I was going through…