alixeinhookerland

[alixeinhookerland]

It's February 1st and still going 💪

Not eating until Feburary!

February is my birthday month, this will be the best way to start it. I know on my birthday I will binge.

[alixeinhookerland]

Not eating until Feburary!

February is my birthday month, this will be the best way to start it. I know on my birthday I will binge.

[alixeinhookerland]

WARNING

DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT BINGE AFTER FASTING! This is not me promoting ana it is to SAVE YOUR ASS! LITTERLAY!

MY ASSHOLE IS STILL BURNING FROM THIS MORNING. PLEASE CONTOL URSELF DO WHATEVER .

[alixeinhookerland]

"are you okay" no can we change the topic before i start oversharing

[alixeinhookerland]

me rn cause im sick

[alixeinhookerland]

BRO WTF IS MY BUS SO HOT IT IS LESS THAN 30 DEGREES FARENHEIGHT OUTSIDE THERE IS NO REASON I SHOULD BE SWEATING

[alixeinhookerland]

November 7th, 12pm

Update

I'm down to owing $1350 on rent. I had several small opening night sales but ultimately priorized paying others, so they could pay rent. Today is the last day I can pay without penalty.

If I could make just 2- 22"x 30" sales in the next couple of hours, at the heavily discounted price of $900, I could pay my landlord and get groceries.

I'm terrified I may already be jeopardizing my new housing after just barely escaping homelessness in September. I've had some difficulty with my mom being fixated on the idea I asked her to get something at the grocery store. I know most of you don't have experience with dementia but I know the neurodivergent of tumblr will understand what it is to be fixated on a thought. Opening has been disruptive and she's been very pleasant but it's triggering. I don't know what other to do than try and indulge her in as controlled a manner as possible.

With Tumblr discount prices pieces start at $150 for and 8"x 10" to 44"x 30" for $1800. 22"x 30" originals for $900 each (usually $3600 each on etsy and Saachi,) 33"x 24" for $1200 (usually $4500 on etsy) and 44"x 30" originals for $1800 (usually $7260 on Etsy) Shipped same day. Free US Shipping. Sales may be paid via venmo or paypal. Dm to inquire about availability. Smaller items available too.

Venmo- Kate-Havekost

Paypal- havekatart@gmail.com

etsy.com/shop/KateHavekostFineArt

[alixeinhookerland]

Reblog if you started worrying about your weight before you were fourteen.

[alixeinhookerland]

Childhood Memories

Being in 2nd grade and the only person at the peanut free table was a kid eating peanut butter and jelly.

[alixeinhookerland]

ED logic can be hilarious when you write it down

- I feel dizzy and cold and lost a lot of weight –> “I need to keep fasting and restricting and purging”

- I gained a lot of weight –> “I need to binge eat 24/7 to cope”

- I cannot fit into this pair of jeans that is six sizes too small –> “I am fucking disgusting and a waste of space and a failure”

- “I need to wait until I am almost emanciated in order to have hobbies and interests and other goals in life”

- I ate three well-balanced meals today –> “I am going to panic and cry and hurt myself”

- “I should not see my friends because they will see how I’ve always looked and feel absolutely disgusted”

- My friends are annoyed by my ED behaviors –> “my friends hate me because I am fat and disgusting”

- I did great on this work/school project –> “it’s because I focus on these things that I am still fat and disgusting”

- I did not do that well on this work/school project –> “this is all because I am fat and disgusting”

- Someone geniunely likes and is attracted to me and treats me well –> “this person must be fucked up in the head and a deviant”

- Someone treats me like shit and calls me fat and ugly in order to use me –> “I am so thankful for this person and that they are willing to look at me at all”

- Someone wants me to recover –> “they must want me to stay fat so that they can look thinner and keep mocking me in their head”

- Someone doesn’t tell me to recover –> “I must be not worthy of concern because I am still fat time to purge and restrict”

- Someone wants to be more than friends –> “this person thinks that I am an easy target because I am fat and disgusting”

- I feel fat and disgusting –> “good that is the right and proactive way to think keep thinking that”

- I don’t feel fat and disgusting –> “something is seriously wrong with me today”

- I feel weak and fragile and can barely stand –> “wow I am in a great state of being”

- I feel strong and powerful and energized –> “you ate too much again you fat piece of shit this is not ok”

- “I need to restrict/purge to cope with binging to cope with restricting/purging to cope with binging to cope with restricting/purging to cope with binging to cope with…”

[alixeinhookerland]

bro ednos is not it. I hate being the same weight like not gaining or losing is tiring I'm suffered for nothing. and no one will ever take me seriously.

[alixeinhookerland]

kill me

I hate getting food from the lunch line everytime I think people are saying in their minds : why is she getting food? is she really gonna eat that much? thats so much food. omg did she just eat all that. so. quick. :

but in reality I eat slower than everyone else, we all get the same portions and no ones gaf about me and are really wondering why I just shed a few tears.

In my old school I once took a big bite off of my sandwich and someone asked damn is it good? I never ate in front of that person again and take smaller bites.

I took food from the vending machine today and I saw everyone was getting pizza what I love so much and it reminded me of the time in 2nd grade this fat kid brought a bag filled with at least 3 snacks and still got in the lunch line. One time he got refused from the lunch line even when he had enough lunch money to buy it. I wonder if he is still fat and if he still brings that much food.

[alixeinhookerland]

its so weird being lonely. Like I daydream about having friends but the people that I meet irl are not like my daydreams so no I would rather daydream about my having friends that don't exist than real people.

[alixeinhookerland]

PREGNAT LEECH

PREGNAT LEECHES ARE SO CUTE OMG OMG THEY ARE JUST SO BUBLY CUT CHUNKY AWWWW THEY ARE SO CUT I WANNA KISS THEM SO CUTE VBRIhs

my teacher said eww when i showed her but OMGGGG THEY ARE SO CUTE I WANNA EXPLODE I WISH I WAS IN A ROOM WITH 10 PREGNAT LEECHES BECAUSE

YEYEYEY

[alixeinhookerland]

FUCK AMERICA!!!! FUCK THEIR SCHOOLS, THEIR RULES, THEIR PEOPLE! 1 FUCK TO THE MENS FOOTBALL TEAM 1 TO THE WOMENS AND 2 TO MEGAN RAPINOE AND FUCK AMERICAN FOOTBALL WHY AM I FORCE TO PLAY IT AT MY SCHOOL

[alixeinhookerland]

Fml bro. Why do I live in the east and almost no state there has 4 day work week? Move me to Colorado now! 😡

[alixeinhookerland]

Then I realize it's from a spam bot 😭