antoniorhinothethird

[antoniorhinothethird]

The cat's revenge

Your eyes shot open. Finally. The last day of your self-imposed sex ban was finally over.

You turned around and faced your boyfriend who was still sound asleep. His behavior had surprised you ��� Minho had begged for the first couple of days but then he just gave up and accepted his fate, never mentioning it again. You wondered how it was so easy for him, giving up sex like that.

You masked your frustration as best as you could, it was your ban after all. His behavior needed to be punished but most of the times it felt like you were the one that was suffering the most.

Minho slowly opened his eyes and smiled softly. “Baby, are you up?” He put his arms around you and hugged you tightly. The last two weeks were not only depleted of sex but rather every kind of contact that went beyond a peck. Minho nuzzled into you and sighed happily. “I missed this. I missed you, y/n.”

The butterflies in your stomach awoke as well, turning you into a mess in seconds. He placed a kiss on the top of your head. “Let’s not fight like that ever again, please.”

“Agreed”, you mumbled as your hands touched his body. God, you missed feeling his chiseled abs. You missed your fingers trailing down his v-line. You let out a quiet gasp as your fingers traced over his bulge, already stone-hard.

Minho tilted your face up and looked into your eyes deeply. You could have sworn you saw them sparkle more than usual. “Let’s not rush it, baby. Why don’t I take you out for dinner tonight and after that, we uh, continue where we left of two weeks ago?”

He jumped out of the bed and went to shower while you lay in bed cheerily.

The ban worked perfectly, look how sorry he is. I think this was a great idea after all.

Empowering music was blasting through the stereo as you were getting ready for your date. You took a long bubble bath, shaved everywhere and applied scented lotion all over your body. You were so ready for tonight. Your body was covered in the dress he loved the most, your neck sprayed in the most seductive perfume while your face was slightly tinted in different colors. You felt like a goddess ready to be worshipped after so long. Minho knocked on the door and entered slowly.

“Baby, are you ready?”

He was holding a giant bouquet of flowers, red roses to be precise. “Are those for me?” It took him a minute to answer as he was eyeing you up and down, too flabbergasted to speak. Minho cleared his throat hastily. “Yeah, uh, they are. God, I don’t know why I feel so nervous. It’s like our first date all over again.” You chuckled, feeling the same way.

“Baby, you look mesmerizing. Absolutely mesmerizing.”

You took the flowers out of his hands and kissed his check. “So do you, Min.”

He had made a reservation in your favorite restaurant, spoiling you with steak and red wine. You didn’t even notice the stares of the other guests as you two were too engulfed with each other.

You had missed this so much. The sex ban was a risky idea, one that stirred up a lot of controversy among your peers. Your friends warned you about this – withholding sex as a form of punishment was just as shitty of you, but you were desperate for revenge. Minho needed to be put in his place and luckily it all worked itself out.

“Do you want dessert?”

You smirked and got up to leave. “Yeah. But not the kind they’re serving here.”

The desperation for each other was immense, you barely made it to your bedroom. “Min”, you mumbled in between passionate kisses. “Yeah, kitty?”

“I want you. Now. Fuck me now.”

He shook his head as he put you down on the kingsize bed. “Kitty, right now I wouldn’t survive two seconds in your exquisite pussy. I’d combust instantly after what you put me through. No, let me take care of you first.”

He had that devious look in his eyes - the one that made you afraid for your life but also as horny as ever. He stripped you naked and hovered over you, placing wet kisses all over your body.

“Spread your legs for me”, he instructed quietly. He let out a gasp as you did, admiring your pussy for minutes.

“Kitty, look how wet you are.”

He traced his fingers through your blinds, collecting your juices on his middle finger. “All for me, huh?” Minho put his finger in his mouth and sucked on it, his eyes rolling back from pleasure. Seeing him like that was such a turn on. “Min”, you whined desperately. “Take care of me, now.”

He snapped back to reality and pumped his fingers into you – starting with one and adding two more. He was slipping in and out in a steady motion, getting you ready in minutes. He hovered in between your legs and watched you breathe quicker, your breasts heaving up and down. Minho curved his fingers, hitting all the right spots as you moaned excessively.

He could read you like a book, knowing damn well that you were close to coming undone.

“Min”, your moans filled the bedroom, which filled him with joy. “Min”, you whimpered his name. “MIN-“

And just like that he took out his fingers, making you open your eyes in irritation.

“Why did you stop? I was about to cum”, you whined in annoyance.

Minho chuckled. “Sorry Kitty, not yet. I want to make you cum real hard after those two weeks. Will you let me?”

He didn’t even wait for your reply as his lips landed on your throbbing core, licking his way to your clit. Your hands grabbed his long hair instantly and pulled on it, you felt the vibration of his grunts in your pussy. His tongue was quickly switching places between your clit and entrance, making you squirm from overstimulation. Your thighs clasped around his head, which made him go faster, making you dizzy from all the sensations.

“Min”, you moaned again, “Min wait, this is too much. I-“

Quickly, he pulled down his pants and thrusted into you – hard and rapidly. Your breath got caught in between your moans, he was stretching you out as much as he could.

His lips were on your ear as he thrusted, his animalistic grunts were the only sounds you were able to hear. Your body was on fire, but you were too far gone to notice.

All you cared about was your release, all you cared about was Minho fucking you into oblivion. But this time something was off.

Minho knew exactly what he had to do to make you cum in seconds, he knew your body better than you did yourself. Yet, this time he was working around it, eliciting all the spots that made you weak but never truly igniting them. Instead, he was irritating them.

Minho pulled out and slapped your clit with the tip of his cock, turning you into an even bigger mess. Tears started to roll down your cheeks as pleasure mixed with pain. Minho grabbed the vibrator he had gifted you last Christmas and turned it on to the highest level, holding it to your swollen clit. Your felt your body shaking, you lost all control over its movements.

“Min”, you cried. “Min, it’s too much. Please, I can’t take it anymore.”

“Kitty, kitty, kitty”, he whispered into your ear condescendingly. “What do you want?”

“Cum”, was the only word you were able to mutter in that state.

“Oh, is that so?”

You nodded.

“I’ll give you what you want kitty. Under one circumstance though.”

You would have agreed to anything right now. Your body felt like it was electrocuted – with vibrations, sensations and oxytocin. You nodded forcefully, not even questioning what he wanted of you.

Minho traced the vibrator along your folds and pushed it inside you, making you arch your back from pleasure. “I’ll make you cum kitty but only if you promise me to never use sex against me ever again.”

All you heard was cum and promise, ignoring the rest blindly. “Yes”, you huffed out. “Yes.”

Your boyfriend pulled the vibrator out of you and pushed himself into your heated core, thrusting into you as hard as he could. You felt the heat waves crush over you, stars blinding your vision. Minho’s voice in your ear: “Promise me, baby.”

You gathered your remaining strength and kissed him forcefully, promising him to never do such a thing ever again.

Content with himself, he gave you what you craved. You came multiple times, this had to be the most intensive orgasm you had ever felt with him. It felt like you were high for hours, jerking and shaking, too invested in the blankness of your mind.

Minho held you in his arms tenderly and waited for you to come down before he cleaned you up and pulled the blankets over you. You fell asleep instantly, this sexual encounter was too much for you to bear.

Minho however was beyond pleased. He whispered declarations of love into your ear while placing sweet kisses on your forehead. “You did so well for me, kitty. I am so proud of you.” He pushed strands of hair behind your ears and watched you sleep peacefully.

“You have no idea how much I love you. Only you, my adorable baby. Only you.” Your boyfriend’s swollen lips landed on the tip of your nose, smooching you once more in the most adorable way. Everybody knew how much he cared for you, how much he loved you – even if his ways of portraying that were very bizarre at times.

“Let’s not ever fight like this again, okay?” He nuzzled into you and closed his eyes, joining you in some restful sleep. “You learned your lesson, didn’t you?”

______________________________________________________

@maximumkillshot @weareapackofstrays @lieslovefantasy @thatonenoona @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @livzsposts @i2nsstuff @n3tunobellah @redstayrosie @straykidsholicleigh @notastraykid @astayinwonderland @hanjisung-enjoyer @nicolechingish @sassyhumancoppainter @got-me-seein-stars @kairinne @the-weird-mold-in-the-sink @kkamismom12 @xoxominghxe @f3rr0-fluid @straykidsholicleigh @xoxominghxe

i hope i got u all if not please share <3

[antoniorhinothethird]

You're too sweet. Thank you so much! 🥹❤ I really do hope so too. I miss interacting with you all. And I don't even wanna read the series we've been reading because it bums me out that I can't comment and reblog right after. I'm just gonna have to wait for a bit longer, I guess. 🤧

I still can't fucking comment and message. Even the posts that I reblogged that I thought were properly posted doesn't show up. I can see it here on my page but when I look at the post's reblog it's not there.

This is so frustrating. I thought I was just probably banned for a certain amount of time with how much I comment and message people (I'm messaging people before blocking them).

But it's been weeks. I tried clearing the cache, clearing the data, uninstalling the app and then reinstalling, restarting my phone, deleting more files from my storage but nothing.

I don't even really understand how Tumblr works before that much and now I am completely lost. I've already gotten over a flu and now I'm almost cured of a UTI and I STILL can't use this app like before. Fuck.

[antoniorhinothethird]

Thank you so much for taking the time to go to my blog just to see my response, you're too kind! 😭

I do hope they fix this soon. I miss interacting.. I already sent another message to Tumblr, and I hope it's a bit clearer than my first message since I didn't exactly know what was happening before and I didn't know how to articulate the problem to them better then. But now I hope that being precise about what the issue actually is would at least make them finally do something about it. I hope.

But really, thank you so much!! I felt like such a ghost these past few weeks. Thank you for looking for me. It really really means a lot. 🙏🏻❤

I still can't fucking comment and message. Even the posts that I reblogged that I thought were properly posted doesn't show up. I can see it here on my page but when I look at the post's reblog it's not there.

This is so frustrating. I thought I was just probably banned for a certain amount of time with how much I comment and message people (I'm messaging people before blocking them).

But it's been weeks. I tried clearing the cache, clearing the data, uninstalling the app and then reinstalling, restarting my phone, deleting more files from my storage but nothing.

I don't even really understand how Tumblr works before that much and now I am completely lost. I've already gotten over a flu and now I'm almost cured of a UTI and I STILL can't use this app like before. Fuck.

[antoniorhinothethird]

I can hear you! I see you! I see your comments on my rant posts but I can't reply. And I don't know if you've messaged me these past few weeks but if you have, I'm sorry I can't see it and I can't send a message back.

I am shadowbanned...

I can't tag, but I hope you see this friend.

[antoniorhinothethird]

I reblogged my post to respond but I'm not sure if people can even see my reblogs. So just posting this here again.... Sigh

[antoniorhinothethird]

Omg I thought no one could even see my posts. Thank you so much for reaching out! 🥹 But unfortunately, no, I didn't see your message... or any message at all. 💔 The message tab beside that all activity tab is completely gone. And even if I clicked on 'send message' directly on your page, nothing shows up and the messages I type won't send. 😮‍💨

I already sent a message to Tumblr during the first few days and then decided to just wait it out. But now, it's almost a month already and nothing's changed.

I have heard of "shadowbanned" before but never really bothered knowing what it exactly means. I'm kinda curious now though why and how that happened.

But thank you so much for offering me another option to try and fix this. And thank you so much for the kind words. ❤❤❤

I still can't fucking comment and message. Even the posts that I reblogged that I thought were properly posted doesn't show up. I can see it here on my page but when I look at the post's reblog it's not there.

This is so frustrating. I thought I was just probably banned for a certain amount of time with how much I comment and message people (I'm messaging people before blocking them).

But it's been weeks. I tried clearing the cache, clearing the data, uninstalling the app and then reinstalling, restarting my phone, deleting more files from my storage but nothing.

I don't even really understand how Tumblr works before that much and now I am completely lost. I've already gotten over a flu and now I'm almost cured of a UTI and I STILL can't use this app like before. Fuck.

[antoniorhinothethird]

I miss interacting. But I don't even know if people can see these posts.

[antoniorhinothethird]

I still can't fucking comment and message. Even the posts that I reblogged that I thought were properly posted doesn't show up. I can see it here on my page but when I look at the post's reblogs it's not there.

This is so frustrating. I thought I was just probably banned for a certain amount of time with how much I comment and message people (I'm messaging people before blocking them).

But it's been weeks. I tried clearing the cache, clearing the data, uninstalling the app and then reinstalling, restarting my phone, deleting more files from my storage but nothing.

I don't even really understand how Tumblr works before that much and now I am completely lost. I've already gotten over a flu and now I'm almost cured of a UTI and I STILL can't use this app like before. Fuck.

[antoniorhinothethird]

I am still sick. I can't even study for another one of my exams this sunday because I can't retain information, I can't focus and everything hurts. I'm still not even half done with Your Song's fourth part, and I got a lot of on-going series that I'm reading to catch up on. 💔

Hopefully by next week things start going my way for a bit.

Oh, and I still can't comment and message. Damn it.

(Pic not mine, I just got this on facebook lol)

[antoniorhinothethird]

Poor Kat. I know she's not innocent, she knew he was with someone when they started emotionally cheating on mc together.

But HE was the one who made it possible. HE gave her the attention and the chance. Then he kept giving her false hope for years, only wanting to use her. I guess he'll say he 'tried to love her' maybe he kinda does somehow, but that just makes him even shittier for putting her through all that.

I felt empathy towards Kat ever since I saw how he treats her in the beginning. I never felt sympathy for Minho.

Often times in cheating scenarios, real life or fiction, the woman gets antagonized more, cursed more and shamed more. And the guys... We just all shrug and say, they're men, 'boys will be boys'. And I hate it.

The men are the worst part of that tango. Because he was the who claimed to love you, never hurt you and protect you, not his side piece. It's a given that his woman doesn't care about you to start this whole shit up in the first place and to keep stoking the fire after it ignited. But the men are the only reason for it to go the route that it's going to take. If he denies her and distances himself, that's his choice, and that means he respects his partner. But if he reciprocates and gets "seduced", then that's all on him too. It's not a mistake, he chose. And he chose Kat over mc a few times already. He chose to hurt them both to satisfy himself.

He says/thinks that the mc needed to be fixed, when he was the one wavering. That he just wanted to fix his relationship... through cheating? Yup very flawed indeed. But i've had enough of flawed individuals hurting and breaking me because of their own issues Minho, enough is enough. Fix yourself before you dick anyone else. Lol

I am so glad we finally get to hear Kat's voice. I have been kind of feeling her hurt ever since the first night it was introduced how he goes to her apartment to use her then leaves her after just like a fleshlight. I always thought, nobody deserves to be treated like that, no matter who they are. Not even Minho, even if he is the villain for me in all their stories. 😅

I hope Kat finds love too. I hope she can fix herself after all the things Minho had done to her. Her self esteem and self worth is probably at rock bottom for her to be able to create that chaos she left at the cafe.

And even if it wasn't on her and how she handled it was wrong. I still appreciate that she wanted mc to finally be aware of things. It has been too long since Minho and everyone else started playing mc for a fool. Although I think she could've laid it on mc more gently than that, I think with all the pain she's been feeling for years and the disdain she feels towards Minho and herself and her envy towards mc, I understand how that is how she ended up informing her. All emotions, no contemplation. She just had enough.

I love this chapter so much. This is my favorite cloudy day chapter. Very beautifully written. Even if I would never put myself in the same position as Kat, I was still able to relate and empathize with her. The emotions were just very raw and very painful. 🤧👌🏻❤

blue side of the sky (lmh) | 15.5 [cloudy days] kat

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—15.5 [CLOUDY DAYS] kat's thoughts

—WORD COUNT: 0.8k

—ON ROTATION: i hate u - sza

Kat knew she shouldn't have done this from the beginning. It started off with a blossoming friendship that turned into something more, something unexpected. But, to be honest, she couldn't help herself when Minho started reciprocating the attention, the thrill, the excitement.

She knew she shouldn't, and she should've known that this was wrong— that Minho was wrong, that the both of them were wrong. This wasn't meant to be, even through the false sense of security he gave her.

She never had Minho in the first place.

Over time, she felt like she did. She felt like she had Minho, especially when he broke the news that you and him had broken up. That things had run its course, that he wasn't sure how to fix this; how to fix you. Kat genuinely wanted to be there for him first and foremost. She didn't know much about you, but she knew you were very well-liked and a top student. You were the girlfriend that Minho adored, that everyone adored.

Everything she wasn't.

Slight jealousy and envy could do so much damage, and Kat found herself spiraling deep into that mess when things got a little deeper with Minho. When she opened herself up, when she trusted him. But he never wanted her the same way she did. And she was hoping things could change. That maybe, if she acted a little different, opened herself up more than she already has— Minho would see her differently and change his mind. That maybe they could work. She couldn't see that she was just an after-thought, someone to get his mind off of things, someone he could use as a release. She wanted to fix him so badly, when in the end, Minho just wanted to fix you, to fix the relationship.

Not her.

Never her.

All of this wasn't genuine. And it hit her hard when she realized, finally fucking realized, that he didn't want her in the same way.

It was never her in the beginning, and she shouldn't have done this. Or else, she wouldn't be crying herself to sleep. She wouldn't be second-guessing every thing about herself every time she looks at herself in the mirror. She wouldn't be angry, frustrated, fuming. She wouldn't be wishing she did things differently. She fell way too deep only to be nothing in the end.

Because it was never her.

It was always going to be you. 

You were always going to be Minho's and Minho was always going to be yours. There was nothing she could do to fix him, nothing she could do to make the outcome different.

It was always going to be you.

And she hates Minho for that. For causing all of this mess, for dragging the both of you into it. She couldn't help herself when she woke up that morning— already finding herself marching over to the café before she could think twice about her actions. Now, she's sitting here, mascara running down her cheeks, hair a mess; crying tears that she didn't know she still had because she feels terrible and shitty. 

She feels terrible for having unloaded that on you, but she felt like you needed to know. She couldn't stand seeing you walk on cloud nine, seeing life through these rose-tinted glasses. She knows you've been through a lot, but Minho needed to wake up. Jisung needed to wake up. Life was not what it seemed, and you couldn't stand on that shaky foundation forever. 

She feels shitty because all of this mess, for what? Over Minho? Over stupid, one-sided feelings? For someone who would never see you in the same light as you do with them? After all of this, it still sings, but she knew it was time to finally close this chapter of the book. Move on, do better for herself. Find someone who could actually love her for who she is and won't treat her like an option, a convenience. Someone to fill the void. But until then, she'll pick her own head up. Pick up her own pieces. Seal the broken cracks on her own.

In the end, she still loses.

Never her.

It was always going to be you.

Though, this somehow [weirdly] feels like the closure she needed. The push that she needed to close this chapter in the book and move on for good. Minho wasn't good for her, he will never be. 

But most of all, she hates Minho because she cares about him and she doesn't think she could actually hate him at all. She hopes he can be a better man for you now. After all, it's just another unfortunate story of hers— one where she tried to desperately change someone who never really wanted her in the first place.

And that's her own fault for letting herself settle.

♡ taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @asjkdk @hoes4lino @skzddicted @skzho @edgaralienpoe @harui-zen @bestleeknowstan @havenwithleeknow @septicrebel @heesdazed @borahae-reads @yoontaethings @pearbunny @bintificreads @lukeys-giggle @ajxreads @everglowdaisies @allaboutsan @endzii23 @leeknowsramen @heres-your-ramen2000 @morningstardada @mal-lunar-28 @downbadreading @lilysophie @feelikecinderella @urmomma0324 @ddazed-lhs @djeniryuu @melanctton @i8rsie @maru-matt @sleepyleeji @taerifin @nattisbored @jisunglyricist @m111nho @drhsthl @nixtape-foryou @arminseas @guiltycoco @syuuji @sulkygyu @cadihyo @reianagarcia @leeknowyah @smndjdufuehr @dprkbyn @xxibreinaxx @mxnsxngie @reiheis @mellowmentalitydragon @vixensss

[antoniorhinothethird]

I can't leave comments/replies, and I can't message as well lol I don't know what's going on.

But uhmm first of all thank you for liking the story. It's very self indulgent and gets quite unrealistic so I am glad you still liked it. 🥹❤

About the taglist tho, there isn't one yet. But I guess I can tag you in the next one. I'm a bit embarrassed though, this is the first time i'll be tagging someone in something I wrote.

Anyway, thank you again for your kind words!!! ❤ I'm working hard on the next part.... 🤧

Your Song (Part 3)

Pairing: Minho x Fem Reader

Trope: Exes to Lovers, College au

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff?

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! 18+ ONLY!

Wc: 4.5k (I think)

Summary: Your best friend of five years told you the harsh truth you needed to hear a year after your messy breakup with your cheating ex.

Warnings:Cheating accusations, cheating, cunnilingus, nipple play, protected sex, sex while intoxicated, mentions of food, lengthy dialogue, lengthy flashbacks, time jumps, messy POVs, unrequited love, undetailed mentions of bullying, mentions of drinking, possible alcohol poisoning, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of double suicide, thoughts of euthanizing an unborn child, possible inaccuracies about certain topics but I tried my best, please let me know if I missed any, thank you!

A/N: This part would be a lot. All over the place. And is gonna contain some sensitive topics. Please remember that this is only a story. If the topics on the warnings could trigger you, please refrain from reading any further. And if you are suffering from these same thoughts, please know that you are not alone, and there are people you could talk to, seek help and guidance from a professional. 💚 English is not my first language, please excuse me if I use a word or a phrase wrong. This fic was unplanned. It was supposed to be a short oneshot, but I started imagining more possibilities and just went with it, because I'm putting off studying lol. This story might get convoluted and far fetched for you, just remember it's just a fic. 😊 (Past Minho's hair is grey, present Minho's hair is ash/platinum/sandy blonde 😁)

I need to say this, if I can't see any age indicator on your page when I click on it, I will block automatically. I'm sorry, but I don't wanna risk having minors reading my works and my NSFW reblogs. Sorry, thank you.

Part 2 ⏮️ Part 3 ⏭️ Part 4

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Life in the city turned out to be as challenging as you'd prepared for it to be. You and Sanha tried your best to survive. Keeping your dreams and goals at the forefront of every step you both take.

Both of you already looked for a place to stay in the city way before senior year had ended. Saving up ever since freshman year for this moment, it really wasn't too difficult to take the big step, to move and settle in after graduation. It really does help a lot to be prepared.

After you both settled in, your next mission was to find a day job for your expenses. You both decided you needed a source of income first, before anything else.

After getting hired at a cafe, you both started sending your demos to different music labels and entertainment companies. Of course it's not that simple. Even if you both have a decent following because of your self uploaded discographies online, it doesn't really matter if the companies are not really looking for new songwriters.

But you both never lost your spirits. You have asked your boss to let you play your songs at the cafe, thankfully he liked them and agreed to it, which made you and Sanha feel fulfilled and validated at least.

Sometimes after work you and Sanha went to bars on open mic nights, performing your songs in public, sharing them to the world.

But there were still times where you and Sanha just hung out. You were contented. You think you're fixed, that you've healed.

Sanha was happy for you.. even if he thinks otherwise.

A year later, you received an unexpected call from Chan, telling you that they need a new songwriter and that the company really liked the demos you sent. He was extremely regretful that the company currently only needs one of you, and he has to ask you to part with Sanha.

But Sanha told you both that it's ok. That he's exceedingly happy for you. That this is just the beginning, and he is sure his time will come too soon.

You invited your coworkers for a night out to celebrate, additionally serving as a farewell party for you.

You were so happy, you wanted to celebrate. You danced and drank till your heart's content for the first time in your life.

It turns out you let yourself get too loose. When you wake up to a splitting headache, nausea and your stomach feeling like it's getting wrung out, you think that was gonna be the extent of your regrets coming from the night before.

You went to the bathroom, too scared to look in the mirror, immediately washing your face, and brushing your teeth. Coming back to your room, you only now noticed the medicine, the glass of water and the note underneath it.

I bet you feel like death. Take this and come have breakfast. You smiled. What would you do without him? You take the medicine and walk out into the kitchen.

"Good morning.." You see him finishing up the kimchi fried rice he started cooking since he heard you going to the bathroom.

"It's afternoon actually, kid."

"Oh." He chuckled and turned to look at your still quite possibly disheveled appearance.

"You look like you had fun." He turned grabbing a plate and a spoon, plating the mouth watering fried rice on it, topping it with a runny sunny side up egg , just the way you like it.

"Uggh I don't even know if I did. Would you spare me and just tell me everything that happened, please?" You gave him the best Puss in Boots impression you can manage considering you look more like the Corpse Bride.

He sighed a bit strongly. "Well, you need to eat first, you might lose your appetite if I tell you right now." He innocently sprinkles some cut up dried seaweeds and sesame seeds on top of the dish, sliding the plate in front of you after.

"What?!" You were terrified, thinking of all the embarrassing scenarios that could've possibly happened.

He laughed. But it seemed to lack his usual eye crinkle, the resonance of his laugh quite lacking.

"Kidding, kiddo. Go ahead and eat first. I'll tell you everything after." You looked at the food and most likely drooled.

"Okay." You took a hold of your spoon, tasting the delicious and warm comfort food.

"Mmm, so good Sanha.." you moaned.

He looked at you with such softness you'd think he just watched his first born child call him 'papa' for the first time.

"Aren't you gonna eat too?"

"I already ate, it's the afternoon remember?"

"Oh right." You looked down, you want him to have a bite of his delicious cooking so he can enjoy it with you.

"Just have a bite then." You said, holding the spoon full of the red rice topped with a piece of the egg. "Ahhhh.."

He rolled his eyes, but he knows you enough that it'll be a waste of time to argue, so he opened his mouth and accepted the bite.

"Oh wow, it is good. Well, I cooked it so.."

"Always our humble king." You gushed.

"It's no big deal really." He said lifting his chin up, flicking his nose with his thumb with such smugness. Making you giggle.

"Okay dork, i'll put on a shitty movie and we can talk over it after you finish eating."

"kay.." You say with your mouth full.

He turned to the living room, pressing his lips together.

You finished after a few minutes. Flopping on the couch beside him after drinking some water and washing the tableware you used.

"So what are we watching then?"

You ask without looking at him.

"Oh, you know what they say, love is blind." He said with a straight face, you looked at him with a raised brow and retorted.

"Ahhh... So anyway, how's your sex life?"

He bursted out laughing with you.

"This movie is just legendary, I swear" He said, slapping his thigh.

You sniggered when you heard the main soundtrack.

"Well... I'm ready, so.." You prompted him to begin the retelling of your escapade last night.

He looked at you, with a hint of hesitance in his features, but it quickly disappeared that you think you imagined it.

"Hmm.. where should I start?"

"The beginning?" You rolled your eyes.

"Well, first of course, we went in the club and greeted our colleagues."

"Ok so far so good."

"But you seemed to be in such a good mood that you said you wanted to 'enjoy this night', so you went and got shots after shots at the bar."

"Oh no."

"Hey, I tried stopping you. But you told me it's all good, that you're just really happy and you wanna celebrate life."

You remember that. You did want to celebrate, you were happy.

"But I can see it, you know. You know you can hide things from other people and yourself, but never from me, right?" You looked into his eyes.

"I know Sanshine." You playfully nudged him.

"But I still let you do it. I thought it's about time you finally let loose and start genuinely feeling."

Your heart started beating fast.

"Well, after dancing your limbs off on the dance floor and a few more drinks later, you were crying."

Oh shit.

"I brought you home right then, I knew you'd hate me if I let you bawl your eyes out in front everyone and air everything out in public for all of them to hear."

You hid your face in your hands groaning at the thought of it. "Mmm, god thank you Sanha, really."

"It's no big deal. I actually wanted to go home as well, so it just worked out in my favor honestly."

You chuckled weakly. You wonder what was going through your mind last night, what made you cry, you were happy.

"Well, I took you to your room, made you drink a glass of water, and I told you to rest. But you said..." He looked you in the eyes.

"You said his name. You- you said it hurts.. how much you miss him."

No.

"And then you started crying again like the little kid you are." He chuckled.

Fuck!

"I know you're not really over him. You've never let the pain out. Ever since it happened, you.. you always kept it in. You focused on acting like it didn't matter to you. You didn't let yourself feel. I can only tell you to not keep it in. But it was always up to you, you know? All I could ever do was stay by your side and be there for you."

"And i'll forever be grateful for that Sanny. I wouldn't have been here if it weren't for you."

He huffed. "I think that's all you kid."

"No really. I would've crumbled without you."

"Well now you're just making this harder for me."

"What?" He looked down at his lap.

"Y/N, I- I'm moving out soon."

Huh? What did he just say? You looked at him incredulously

"What? You're kidding right?"

"I wish I was kiddo. I don't wanna leave you." His face was full of gentleness, his eyes glassy.

"Then why?" You can't help the tears that are gathering in your eyes.

"I didn't plan on telling you about this right now but.. I got a call from Fantagio Entertainment."

He sighed.

"They said they loved the demos I sent, and that they want to work with me. And.. they sort of made me audition for them."

You're speechless, eyes bulging out, mouth wide, nodding for him to continue.

"Apparently they really like my singing and asked me if I could dance. I told them about the classes I took when I was younger and they asked me to show them. I was really surprised when they liked that too. They said with my songwriting and with a little more training for my singing and dancing, they believe I could make it as a soloist."

Your eyes and mouth were wide open.

"That's- so awesome Sanshine!! Oh my god! You did it! You finally did it! I am so happy!" You jumped up and hugged him as tight as you could. Squealing as you did so.

After a few moments you pulled back, eyeing his face.

"So.. you're gonna be living in one of their dorms then?"

He closed and opened his fists that are resting on his thighs.

"Yes." He looked at you, his lips pursed.

"I also think it's a sign."

"A sign?"

"Yes. A sign. The sign that we have to part ways now. To maybe work on ourselves. To properly grow and actually move on, you know?"

"Move on? You have to move on?"

You looked at him like he's rocket science personified.

He huffed. "It's really getting too painful how oblivious you are, still. But that's my own fault, because I'm selfish and a coward."

"What? I don't-"

"I love you Y/N." You looked at him, failing to hide your shock.

".....I love you too, Sanny." That's all you could think of saying.

He knows what you mean. "But you.. just.. can't fall in love with me."

You looked into his eyes searching for a cue, the cue to laugh, urging him to tell you he's just pranking you, it's harsh, but you really don't think you'll make it without him, you can't lose him too.

He took your hands in both of his. Inching closer towards you.

"It's alright, kid. I've accepted it. And I know you're thinking you won't be able to handle being without me. But that's why we need to do this. You need to understand that you can."

You are sobbing now. How could you have been so blind? Were you hurting him all these years?

"We can ask our friends and coworkers together if any of them would be willing to room with you."

He reached his other hand to your cheek, swiping your tears away, giving you the comfort you don't deserve. I am not the one who's hurting, he is.. Stop, you stupid tears..

"But you have to know I won't be too far, i'll be just a few kilometers or a phone call away. I'll still be there when you need me."

You can only nod, face full of tears and probably snot. He sighed, looking down at your conjoined hands.

"Ever since he came into your life, I've never thought about trying to win your heart, I know it's him, it was always gonna be him, I could never replace him in your heart. But the more time I spent waking up with you, the more I started getting selfish, you know?"

He looked up at you, his eyes wet.

"I wanted to be closer to you. To be able to hold you, to kiss you, to have you waking up on my bed telling you how much I love you, everyday. It was getting really difficult being so close to you everyday, yet having you so far out of my reach."

You're weeping like a child now. He wiped your tears away with both of his thumbs.

You wailed harder.

"Hey it's ok, it's my fault, I kept secretly wishing that one day you'll see me, it's been that way since freshman year. When I saw how bright you shined when we talked about our love for music, I guess it blinded me."

"I'm so sorry, Sanha.. You.. you don't deserve this.. You wasted so much of your time for me... I wish I could give you the love you deserve."

He chuckled with so much softness, it's making you wanna slap yourself for hurting him this long.

"It's alright kid, I know you still love him."

"Wha- I- I don-"

"You can't force yourself to feel or to not feel something, kid."

You nodded, focusing on the words he said in the first part of his sentence, tuning out the last.

"I'll be forever grateful that I had you here with me. I hope you know that."

"I do. And I am grateful for you too. But now.. I guess it's time for us to work on ourselves.. on our own."

"Yes. I understand, I.. I think so too."

"Just so you know, i'll always, always love you. And i'll always be here for you, all you have to do is call me, ok?"

"Ok.. I love you Sanha." You reached for him and wrapped your arms around his figure.

"I love you Y/N. We'll meet each other again soon." He replied, holding you tight against him.

Then he kissed you on the cheek. Just like he always does.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Graduation day...

Minho watched as Sanha hugged you, how you happily hugged him back. How big your smile was as you looked up at him, still holding each other like you're the only people left on earth. How Sanha brushed the stray hairs that were flying to your face, how he tucked it behind your ear, how he cupped your face and kissed your cheek. How you closed your eyes in content. And how you hugged him tighter with pure delight, laying your head on his chest. How he held your hand as you both walked away. Maybe to make love back in your dorm or his or have a date somewhere he doesn't know. But what he does know is pain. So much pain.

He has to let you go. You'll be so much happier with Sanha. Happier without him. All he does is bring shame to your name and hold you back. He needs to stay. And you need to go follow your dreams.

He only planned to stay at the dorms after the ceremony. After making sure Pam got back to her dorm safe and that she got everything she needed.

Being out there, with everyone's attention always falling onto him no matter where he goes or what he does, it's just too much for him. He just can't do it anymore.

But the boys were adamant in making him come with them. Make him forget about everything, even for a little while.

Which turns out to be the worse choice afterall.

After two shots of vodka, it didn't make him forget. It made the pain double, it made him remember the moments where he'd thought that you didn't want him anymore, even before that night, when you stopped waiting for him to come back, when you stopped asking him how his day was and what he got up to. When you stopped initiating being intimate.

He understands he had spent so much time with Pam without explaining anything to you for months, way before Halloween. He understands it's his fault, and that he shouldn't have expected for you to keep waiting for him. But he really did have hope that your love for him would be stronger than your contempt. He started thinking, maybe.. you're just pretending to love him now, he thinks maybe you can't break it off with him because you pity him. At the time it was enough. At least she's still here, she hasn't left me. It's what he always thought.

The strong alcohol gave him the strength to find you, to ask you and beg for answers. Confronting you one last time. He told himself it'll make him move on.

But it didn't.

All he could ever think about that night in your car when he asked for a hug, was how much he doesn't wanna let you go.

He didn't understand why you said yes, but he didn't have it in him to ponder over it for longer. He needs to feel you. Maybe you still pity him.

He held your waist and enveloped you in the tightest hug he has ever given anyone. You slowly lifted your arms and wrapped it around him and caressed his back. He didn't notice he was tearing up again. Until you were pulling back and he felt your thumbs wiping his tears away.

You're so warm. It feels really good.

You held his face for a minute, you looked at every part of his face, he felt like he was shrinking. He felt like his knees was gonna give in, even though he wasn't standing. He wants to melt. He's going to melt, on your hands. And he did.

He leaned forward like he didn't have control over his body and touched your lips with his. Pouting lightly to feel the softness of your lips on his own plump ones. He stayed there for a few seconds, eyes closed, hands limp at his sides.

He slowly opened his eyes, and saw you, your brows were furrowed. It seems like all he ever does is make you mad. He was about to pull away, when you didn't let go of his face. You pulled him back, tilting your head as you closed your eyes. He moaned when he felt your tongue flicking inside his mouth, making him grip your waist tight, tugging you to his lap.

You straddled him with no hesitation, pressing your chest onto his, wrapping one of your arms to the back of his neck, gripping his hair.

He grunted in your mouth, sliding his hands down your ass, squeezing it.

Your other hand roamed all over his body, neck, chest, abs, touching him under his shirt. You brush your hand down towards his crotch, rubbing his hard on through his sweatpants with your palms, as you gave him the time to breathe when you attacked his neck. His hands leaving bruises on your ass.

He grunted and moaned shakily, he felt like he was gonna come right then and there. Hearing you moaning while you're touching him is enough to make him blow. He needed to feel you closer. He wanted you to melt together.

He pulled away. Taking a breath.

You looked at him, lost with need. The ache of the pain he caused in your heart and the ache of your arousal on your pussy is getting too painful, you need a release.

"I- I know it's wrong, but, I- I need you."

He was willing to give you everything. No matter how wrong, he'll let you have it. He opened his side of the door, you got off him and went out on your side, he held his hand out for you which you took, following him inside his dorm.

"They're all at the party."

"Oh, ok."

"Come on"

He led you to his room. He started slowly worshipping you, inhaling and kissing every part of your body. Tasting every inch and crevices. Making you beg for his cock, begging for him to fuck you already.

He can't stop though. He missed feeling your velvety folds on his tongue. He missed playing with your sensitive clit and the way you squeak and scream whenever he sucked on it and flicked his tongue with it inside his mouth. He missed the feeling of your walls, warm and soft on his tongue, he missed the way you practically shake when he pushes in and out of you, fucking you with it. And he misses the way when you're so needy and he takes extra good care of you, you squirt on his face, moaning so beautifully you deserve a grammy every time. He wishes you'd ride his face and sit on him. But he knows he can't be greedy. If he doesn't give you what you want already you might get irritated and leave.

You told him to use a condom. You both haven't had sex with a condom on since the first month of your relationship. He knows why. He knows what you think. It pains him to not tell you the truth. It hurts that you think of him this way. But he needs to focus. He needs to please you. He wants to make you feel good. You need him right now, for the last time. He gotta focus.

He stood up, went to Hyunjin's room and took a condom out of his bedside drawer. He hurriedly went back to put it on his painfully hard length. You watched him with confusion. He doesn't show you he noticed.

He's not a fuckboy. He just wanted one other woman. Maybe she's clean and on the pill, maybe that's why. You thought.

You look doubtful. He wishes he could tell you. That no one else has touched him since you, it's only you. He's only for you.

After he put it on, you pulled him down the bed and pushed him on his back. You straddled him like a mad woman so desperate for cock, you'd be embarrassed if it weren't accurate.

You grabbed his cock and stroked him a few times making him grunt and bury his head back deeper into the pillow.

You finally aligned him at your entrance, not wasting time dropping your cunt onto him fully, you were so wet, and the slight pain from his size was no match for your painful need.

You both moaned, strained and loud. He feels like he's finally where he's meant to be again. With you, in you, under you, all over you. He doesn't wanna let you go.

"Fuck.. so good..." He hears you breathe out.

"You feel so good Y/N nggh.. Amazing." He started fucking up into you from below. Making you yelp and launch forward, your chest on his face.

"Ahhhh.. oh fuck yes harder."

"Anything you want."

He leaned forward and grabbed a hold of one of your erect nipples on his mouth, teasing it with his tongue as he did your clit earlier. Like he'd always done before.

"Ah! Yes! Fuck right there! Keep- keep doing that!"

He let go of your nipple, desperately grasping your hips tighter. "Aghh! You're clenching so hard- I'm not- not gonna last, please..."

"It's ok." You looked at him with calmness, as calm as you could bouncing as he pounded your cunt.

"Your pussy... it's eating me up, you're eating up my cock. Feels so good..." He whined before putting your other nipple back to where it belongs.

You moaned loudly. "Mmm.. Yes, I love eating your cock. It's delicious. Always tastes so good..."

He lets go again with a pop and a gasp.

"Shit don't- don't say that." You held his face with one hand.

"I told you.. it's-" He pushed you down harder onto his dick, making you gasp.

"No. You need me. I need to make you feel good. Need to.. last long for you." He grunted.

You lowered your forehead to his. Touching his chest with one hand, sensually gliding the other under his nape to pull him closer. "You're so good. So good." You whispered onto his lips.

He whimpered.

Oh how you miss the sound. You almost jumped his bones when he did it back then when he was at your door.

He desperately ground into you.

"For you, only for you."

After a few breathy whimpers from him, he turned you both around, with you under him. And with the help of gravity he was able to hit you harder just like how you like it.

"Ahh! Fuck me hard! Yes Fuck!! I'm almost there!"

"Oh yes! Baby! I'll get you there! Fuck!"

You had your eyes closed from the euphoria. But he's staring at you.

"I- I- love you.."

"......"

You opened your eyes to see his face. He looks.. intense.

"If this is the last time we'll see each other, I wanna tell you for the last time... I love you."

"Mmm.. ok.." You closed your eyes again, not being able to handle his intense gaze.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

You left.

He expected it, but it still hurt all the same. Is he really never gonna see you again? Maybe he will, many many years later. Maybe when you're finally married to Sanha and you both have kids. Maybe when he's old and alone, and you're surrounded by your grandkids at a park. Maybe. Maybe not. But the thought of him seeing you with someone else when that time comes just rips his heart out even more.

But he has to stay strong. He has to stay for his family. For Pam and his niece.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

A few months have passed and Pam is finally going in labor. He can't wait to meet his niece. She's the one who gave him the strength to keep fighting, to push forward. Working three jobs while taking care of Pam.

He was at the dance academy teaching kids a routine he made to the song that the kids chose, when he got the call from his mom.

He panicked. He apologized to the kids and went to his boss to tell him about the matter. Thankfully he let him go right away, fully understanding the situation.

He ran to the bus stop, heading straight to the hospital. He arrived at the reception trying his best not to shake in excitement and nervousness so he can fill up the form faster.

When he arrived at the room he heard it, it seemed like his niece beat him there. He was already tearing up before he saw her, this beautiful little angel, in Pam's arms.

Pretty little Mara.

Pam looks exhausted, he feels so bad that he wasn't here for her earlier.

She saw the look on his face and she tsked, patting the side of the bed, urging him to come close.

"Thank you." She said with as much sincerity as she possibly could gather at the moment. "We wouldn't have made it without you. You know that, right?"

He nodded weakly. "I- yeah.. " He doesn't know what else to say. He's just so happy. Finally, every sacrifice he made has paid off. Her baby is here, safe.

He started tearing up. He knows he shouldn't, that it's supposed to be her who's crying, after everything life threw at her, she was still able to bring her baby into this world, she's so strong, he wished he was the same so he could stop sobbing and tell her how strong she is.

After a few moments he finally pulled himself together, seeing as Pam was crying now too. He sniffled and exhaled some air.

"I'm sorry. It should be a happy moment."

She giggled at his scrunched up face.

"Hey, you're ok. You're probably exhausted." She looked at him with sympathetic eyes. She wants to tell him that he's doing too much, and he doesn't have to. But his stubbornness has only led her plea for him to just focus on one job so he could have time to rest, fall into deaf ears.

She knows this is too much. She blames herself for everything. And she blames herself for breaking Minho's heart, making the love of his life run away from him and hate him.

She tried to apologize to you before and explain, but with everyone watching her every move, eyes shaming, mouths filled with venomous words, she always ends up pulling back, resorting to just hiding in her dorm to study.

She wishes she could just come to you, she doesn't want you to hate her, she looks up to you. But it just made her cower with even more fear at the thought of you shouting at her and telling her the names she's been hearing ever since that night.

She wishes she didn't leave that night. She wishes she didn't text Mark and ask to talk. But when he agreed to meet at the party she was so blinded by the hope that she'd be able to give her baby a complete family that she let all her logic out the window.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

When she arrived at the house, it was chaos. So many people in different costumes, hollering, playing, making out or dancing.

She wants to get out of there as soon as possible. So she tried to find him as fast as she could. He's not responding to her last text asking him where he is. So she just tried her best to look for him everywhere.

After a few minutes she reached the second floor where it was even darker. It was quiet except for the few wet sounds of lips smacking and wet tongue noises from the jutting silhouettes in the hallway, some of the other wet noises, she doesn't need to know.

She opened each door, some are locked while the others, empty. But when she got to the final door she heard it.

"Oh Marky..."

She decided to look, she needed to confirm it. She opened the door, fully intent on making her presence known. This is the first time she's asserting herself like this. She surprised even herself. But she needs to know..

"Why?"

The woman got startled. But he just slowly looked back over his shoulders. He halted his movements and got off of her. Ruffling his hair in exasperation. He stared at Pam for a few seconds, then turned his head towards the woman.

"You should go."

She just scoffed and started hurriedly gathering and putting on her clothes, bumping Pam hard on her way out. Pam tried her best to steady herself, even if her knees felt like jelly.

She stared at him, waiting for the answer to her question.

He just scoffed. "You really went here? I thought you weren't that stupid. Aren't you worried about your kid?"

She felt even smaller than she had before. "But you said-"

"I was thinking if you're desperate enough to come, maybe you'll finally see that i'll never come back to you. That you need to stop talking to me and asking me for things I can't give you."

"Mark I- I don't want you to do anything you don't wanna do. You don't have to be with me. But please, don't do this to our baby." She's crying now. She tried not to, she wants to stay coherent, Mark might not wanna talk to her anymore if she's crying.

He huffed loudly, startling her a bit. He stood up and put on his clothes. He looked at her and shook his head.

"You're pathetic." She felt her whole world crashing down further.

She gave him space a month ago when he started distancing himself. She figured it overwhelms him sometimes, so she let him be. But when she started seeing him with that woman around campus, she started fearing the worst, while also stubbornly grasping for hope that it's not real. So she started reaching out to him again.

He declined her calls or straight up ignored her whenever she approached him.

She wonders how she could be this naive.

"Can't you take the hint? I don't want that baby! I don't want you!"

Mark has told her before that he was confused if he actually loved her or pitied her. It broke her heart every time she thinks about it. But she just took it. At least he doesn't hurt her, so she'll still take it.

But this time, she can't take it anymore. She didn't remember when she got down or when she started drinking. But it felt too good to stop. She's finally numb. Maybe this is what needs to happen. All she ever does is be a burden to Minho and inadvertently to you. She's a burden to Mark, a burden to everyone. Maybe her baby would be miserable coming into this world. Maybe she'd be a burden to it too. Maybe it's best for everyone if they both just disappeared.

When she wakes up, she hears the beeping sounds of the heart rate monitor and the quiet dripping from the IV. She looks down and sees a head, resting by her arm, holding her hand.

"Minho?"

Minho woke up to the sound of her voice. He's so relieved nothing bad happened to her and her baby. His lips were quivering at the sight of her, he can't be mad at her, he can only imagine how much she's suffering inside. He hugged her, patting her head.

"You're fine. The baby's fine."

She started bawling her eyes out. The fear of losing her baby and the regret of letting it happen overwhelming her.

Minho tried his best to calm her down. He begged for her to tell him what happened, thinking it's the only way to alleviate some of the heaviness that's weighing down on her heart.

She told him everything that night. From all the issues she had with Mark even before and everything that happened last night. She can't stop apologizing to her baby and to Minho.

He kept reassuring her that everything is fine now. They're safe. And it'll never happen again since she promises it won't.

🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

She kept trying to apologize to him for months, especially when she found out about what she did when he came for her.

She felt like she wanted to just disappear and get swallowed by the ground. But the promise she made to Minho, to herself and to her baby stops her from thinking about anything stupid anymore. She settled on just hiding in her dorm. She's always alone there anyway, her roommate can't stand her now.

It works in her favor, now she can hide her belly from everyone, even if it's not big and noticeable anyway. The comfort of being alone in her own space made her feel a little sense of calmness and peace.

But seeing Minho in pain, brings the guilt back every time. He's a ghost, a machine, a hollow shell of what he once was when you were still his.

She keeps apologizing to him, saying it's her fault that this is happening to him. But he always stops her and tells her that none of this was her fault, only Mark's.

That getting pregnant is not a mistake. The baby is not a mistake. But the parent who turns their back on their own child, they're the mistake. Mark should be the one apologizing to them. But he's gone now. He ran and flew to Thailand and hid like the little bitch he is, his woman long abandoned, thrown to the side.

Maybe this is for the better. This is how it's supposed to be. Just her alone with her baby. And Minho by her side supporting her. This is way quieter, more simple. Peaceful. Even if it's just like that in her room. Because out there, it's a jungle, and they're the prey.

The pessimist in her used to think that things will always get worse, so she wasn't too surprised when she saw the video uploaded on the internet. But as soon as she found out she thanked Minho for getting the video of them online deleted. She doesn't know how he did it but she knows she owes him way more now.

She knows she can't make even, but she does hope that a time will come for her where she can finally start repaying her debt to him. Be the one to help him.

Minho went to the tech nerds at school, begging them for help. He was surprised but also not, when they told him that you paid for them to have the same video deleted as well.

He wishes he could just stop loving you sometimes with how much it hurts knowing that you left him. But how could he, when you do things like this? When you still do things like this after he hurt you and humiliated you.

Maybe one day. He'll get you back. He'll work on himself and make it so that Pam would have enough money to be able to live a comfortable life without him, so he could chase you, beg for your forgiveness and win your heart back.

And he can't wait for that day to come.

To be continued..

Part 2 ⏮️ Part 3 ⏭️ Part 4

[antoniorhinothethird]

I can't... I am dripping and throbbing right now and he's not even doing anything!!!!! JUST EYE FUCKING THE CAMERA TILL IT ORGASMS!

FUCK WHY IS HE SO BEAUTIFUL??? AND WHY ARE HIS EYES SO GOOD AT FUCKING US? I can only imagine what his mouth and dick can do.

Sir, with just that look I’m on my knees.

I always imagine when Minho is in dom mode he barely has to speak. This clip just proved it for me.

@antoniorhinothethird @queenmea604 @queen-in-the-shadows @channieandhisgoonsquad @2chopsticks2eyes @bethanysnow @chansmanda @noellllslut @its-hannjisung @weareapackofstrays @thatonenoona

[antoniorhinothethird]

This is very very helpful and very informative! Thank you for taking the time to write and organize this! And thank you for tagging me.. ❤ Also, that checklist is cute and very helpful too. 🥹

How to Leave Comments on Fanfiction

So, I recently made a poll to know if people might find it helpful to have a list of things they could talk about when leaving comments on fanfictions, be it on Ao3 or on here. A majority of people were interested in seeing the post so, well, I'm making it. I started writing and posting stuff online when I was a teenager, on a website where leaving constructive criticism was the norm. It's by far the place where I've gotten the most feedback and it was an incredibly formative experience for me as a young writer — and it taught me how to leave detailed comments.

Writing comments doesn't necessarily come easy. It's something that you may need to learn how to do, but the good news is that you can learn how to do it, so don't worry if you don't know what to say at first. Hopefully this list will give you some pointers on how to do that.

This is more or less the list I go through when I want to leave a detailed comment. Even if I don't have a specific idea at first, I'll go through the steps and I never come out empty-handed.

Comment etiquette:

What became apparent with the poll I made was that a lot of people worry about how they'll be perceived by the writers if they leave a comment. Now, obviously, writers aren't a monolith, but 99% of the time writers will be thrilled that you took the time to leave a comment to let them know what you enjoyed in their fic. I cannot stress this enough. We're not going to judge someone based on a positive comment they leave.

As it stands, on Tumblr and Ao3, it's seen as rude to leave negative feedback, unless the author has explicitly asked for it/agreed to it, so that's what I'll be going over here. Since quite a few writers did say on that post that they would like to get constructive comments as well, stay tuned, I'm trying to get something together to do that for authors. Other than that, you're good to go.

The main ways to let an author know your thoughts on a fic on Tumblr are:

reblogging a fic with your thoughts underneath it

reblogging with your thoughts in the tags, which is often less formal

leaving a comment as a 'reaction'

sending in an ask if they're activated on the blog (which means you can stay anonymous, if anon asks are allowed)

Reblogging means that your followers will see the post as well, and is therefore really appreciated on Tumblr.

As a note, you may find different systems work for different fics! Maybe leaving tag rambles works for you when commenting on drabbles, for example for me it's the system I use to leave comments on smut.

General advice:

Everything I'm saying in here is for people who want to be able to leave longer/more detailed comments and don't always know where to start. If, for whatever reason, you're not comfortable or you don't have time to do it at the moment, a simple "I love the fic, thank you for writing it" always goes a long way for an author.

The key thing to keep in mind if you're trying to find something else to say, I think, is to try making the comment specific to the fic you're leaving it on. It shows the writer what you took away from the fic and the fic's strong points, which is both meaningful and helpful to an author.

Comments don't have to be long to be meaningful. Don't stress about writing a ton; a one-sentence comment highlighting the fic's humor or how emotional it made you can be incredibly impactful.

With this out of the way, I'll go through things you can talk about in a comment, starting with what I think is the easiest and moving on to things that could require more thought. You don't have to do all of that. You may never use some of the things on that list. Leaving comments should not be a source of anxiety. So take what you want from the list, maybe come back to it if you need more inspiration, and don't worry too much about it :)

Favorite line(s) : pull from the fic to let the author know what your favorite line was. If you wish, you can expand on that by saying why it was your favorite: did it make you laugh? Did it make you feel something specific? Did the author nail the characterization with it? Was there some incredible metaphor? Did you find it beautiful or poetic even if you can't go into detail? Is there one line in particular at the beginning of the fic that hooked you in and made you want to keep reading?

All of that is very valuable for a writer to know. Some of my favorite comments I've gotten were a list of a reader's favorite lines from a fic with one or two sentences to explain why they liked them, so don't hesitate to do that more than once if you can!

Emotions:  if there’s one thing I know about writers, it’s that we’re thrilled when we’ve made you cry. So tell us: how did the writing make you feel? Did you laugh out loud? If you did, was it the dialogue, or the narrator? Did it make you cry? Which part? Could you relate to one of the characters? Did it make you feel seen? Did the fluff make you feel all fuzzy inside or did the angst twist knots in your stomach? This isn't an exhaustive list, and emotions are great to draw from when you're leaving a comment!

Favorite element of the writing: Is there one thing in the writing that struck you as being particularly good, or what was your favorite thing to read? Is the author a master at writing dialogue? Are their descriptions so good you could see the whole scene? Are they really good at getting in a character's head and describing their emotions? Were you hooked from the start and couldn't stop until you reached the end?

Characterization: Now, this might be less instinctive, but if you've been in a fandom for a while, you'll probably be able to identify these things fairly easily. You can tell the author if you think they've nailed one aspect of a character. Did you have a favorite character in the fic? What did you think of them? Did the author manage to capture their voice? Was the attitude spot-on? Which parts of the character, if you can name them? Were there aspects of the character you particularly enjoyed? Did the author shine a light on something you hadn't considered or on something you don't think is highlighted often enough? Is there one thing from the fic you can actually picture/hear a character doing/saying in your head?

Style: I'd argue this is the hardest part, and you shouldn't feel bad if it's not something you can really comment on. As someone whose first language isn't English, I know I struggle with it. Style can be perceived as the way the author's voice comes through in the text. It can come through in punctuation, in the way sentences are formed, in the choice of the words themselves. If, when you read, you feel something intangible that doesn't fit well in the other categories, it just might be the author's style.

Here are some things (non-exhaustive list, of course) you could say about an author's style: it can be direct, straight to the point. The author doesn't bother with ornaments. Every sentence feels impactful. Maybe the writing feels intense. You're overwhelmed by the characters and their feelings and you feel truly engulfed in the story. Maybe the style is light and airy. It's so easy to read you don't even notice you are reading. Maybe the writing is intricate. Going through it is like piecing a puzzle together, sentences are foreshadowing and metaphors reveal deep truths about the characters. Maybe the style is rich. While not always the easiest, it's a pleasure to read through it, the author has a wide vocabulary, and you might want to compare it to a well-written novel.

If you identify specific elements of that style (metaphors, interesting use of punctuation, etc.), don't hesitate to point them out and let the author know you enjoy them!

That is it for this post, hopefully it doesn't look too daunting — again, you absolutely do not need to do all that in any comment, but maybe going through this list can help you leave comments for authors you enjoy.

I like to end my comments with 'Thank you for writing and sharing this with us', so I'll tell you thank you for reading, I hope this was helpful, and please consider reblogging if you'd like to save this or if you think it could help someone else!

As a bonus, my friend @elidebrey and I (but mostly her) made a 'checklist' for commenting, to help remember all this if that's something you'd like, so use at will!

A big thank you to @elidebrey, @yoongihan and @antoniorhinothethird for their precious opinions on this ♥

[antoniorhinothethird]

I can't believe there's a part two! And it's soooo perfect!!! 😭😭😭❤

The misunderstanding! The angst! The sexual tension! The emotional sex! AND THAT ENDING!! uughhh Thank you so much for writing this!! 😭🙏🏻

Leave

Summary: a couple of misunderstandings make you and Seungmin at odds with each other. Now in his shoes, you're fuming at the thought of him having a girlfriend.

Part 2 of Break up with your boyfriend, I'm bored

I highly advise reading the first part before this one, for a full experience and context.

Words count: 4,047

This content is +18 only, minors DO NOT interact

Warnings: angst, misunderstandings, reader is insecure, unprotected sex, blowjob, crying during sex

A/N: Seungmin singing Leave just made me think about this fic so much and when the new album came out I was with half of this part written so it just gave more fuel for my delusions.

You didn't think it through. You let your feelings for Seungmin blind you and slept with him without thinking about the consequences. The consequences being: cheating on your boyfriend.

You wanted to break up with him for a while, however, you haven't really thought about it carefully enough yet.

When you woke up, feeling Seungmin's arms wrapped around you, everything that happened came rushing in. What the hell are you supposed to do after that?

"I like you", what he said repeats in your head, making your cheeks burn and your heart beat faster, you can't believe that he actually feels that way about you.

You lift his arm trying not to wake him up. Looking at your phone, it's already 9 a.m. would there be anyone awake? You're afraid they are going to take a look at your face and know exactly what happened.

When you come back from the bathroom, your phone is going off. Fortunately you always leave it on silent mode, so Seungmin didn't wake up with the nth messages your boyfriend sent you.

Fuck. You totally forgot that you had rescheduled your date for this morning and he was blowing up your phone trying to get a hold of you.

You put your own clothes on, picking up the phone when he started calling you.

"Where are you? Why did you leave me on read?" He starts.

"I'm sorry, I overslept"

He scoffs, you can hear the anger in his voice.

"Yeah, okay, I'll wait. Just hurry up"

"Yeah, baby. I'm on my way", you say automatically, looking at Seungmin.

The moment the pet name leaves your mouth, you feel dirty. It doesn't sound right anymore, not when you just slept with someone else and most surely not when you're dreading every minute of your taxi ride, regretting leaving Seungmin behind. You don't know what you're going to do now, but what you do know is that he just feels right for you.

Since the first time you laid eyes on Seungmin it felt right. That's why you entertained his small talk that first time you talked, even though you don't usually make friends easily and surely don't tell strangers about your life.

Everything about him just felt right.

You regret not having left a note telling him to text you when he wakes up, because as soon as you got into the taxi, your phone died.

You are not sure what you are going to say to him, you don't know if you're ready to start a new relationship, you're not even sure if you are ready to end your current one, but you want to be selfish this once and ask him to wait for you. You're sure you'd end up finding him in the end of any choice you make.

The taxi stops in front of the cafe your date's supposed to happen. You walk in and see your boyfriend seated by the window, with a drink chosen for you already.

He lifts his eyes to look at you, uninterested, lips pressed in a tight line. You're sure he's waiting for an apology. Sudden guilt overflows you while you sit, adjusting yourself to the seat.

"I see you're wearing the same clothes as yesterday", he tells as soon as you lock eyes with him. You never cursed yourself so hard for posting outfit checks on Instagram.

"Y-yeah", you sip the drink, "I slept over at the dorms"

"I guessed that much", he scoffs, he's staring so intensely that you're afraid he can see right through you or even worse, that you're going to spill all the things that happened if he doesn't stop.

You take a deep breath, trying to gather some courage and do what you feel it's right.

"Look, I- I think we should break up", you mumble. His expression doesn't change, you're not sure if he even heard you, but before you can repeat yourself or explain even further a smirk grows in his lips.

"So you finally gave in", he chuckles, "are you going to end a year and a half of relationship because that guy fucked you once?"

Your eyes grow wide, how did he know? Did he see marks on you? You're not even sure if Seungmin left any.

"Don't act so surprised", he crosses his arms, "he's been trying to get in your pants for a year now"

"It's not because of that", you're finally able to recover from the shock and say something. "We haven't been doing well for a while now"

"And things started to go awry after this guy showed up, coincidence?" He rolls his eyes, collecting his phone and drink while standing, "I still like you more than you deserve, so when he disappoints you, I'll be waiting"

You watch him walk away, sighing in relief. Guess this is the best reaction you could get since he always acted petty when you fought.

You look at your phone, shit, you forgot it was dead, what time is it? The clock behind the counter tells you it's almost eleven a.m.

Grabbing your bag, you walk fast out of the cafe, it's going to be at least noon when you get home.

You can tell something is not right when there's no message from Seungmin on your phone, he would have messaged you when he woke up, right? Maybe he's not awake yet. Yeah, he came back from a long trip and slept late, he must be still sleeping. You wait a few minutes.

Should you send him a message? Yeah, but what are you going to say to him? Shouldn't you go back there and talk face to face with him? Maybe a call will be better, you want to hear his voice and you're sure he won't be mad if you wake him up.

One ring, two rings, three rings, your call can't be completed, try again later.

You try again. Nothing.

Once more. No answer.

It's better call one of the boys, maybe something happened to him, he would have heard your calls, so why wouldn't he pick them up?

"He's been trying to get in your pants for a year now", your ex's voice sound in your mind, "when he disappoints you, I'll be waiting"

You shake your head, no.

Seungmin is not like that, he told you he likes you, he told you he wants to be with you.

But why?

Why would he want to stay with a normal, boring person, when he can date a celebrity? Someone prettier than you, someone perfect.

Did he not like your body? Were you not what he expected? Did he really just wanted someone to fuck?

No. You shake your head stronger now. He's not like that, you won't let your insecurities make you doubt him.

You call Chan, he'll be able to tell Seungmin you're trying to reach out. It rings a few times before he picks up.

"Hey, Chan", you say.

"Yeah, hey Y/N", he sounds off, maybe something really happened.

"Is Seungmin awake? I'm trying to-"

"Actually now is not a good time", he interrupts.

"Did something happen?" You feel your heart sink, standing up from the couch, ready to go to them.

"I'm sure you're aware of what's happening", he tells you, a mean tone in his voice. You feel your legs give out and you seat again, all your doubts coming back.

Did Seungmin really just want to sleep with you? And all the boys knew it? You thought they were your friends, were you wrong?

"I- I'm not sure", you say and he sighs on the other side of the line.

"Look Y/N, we really like you but this is something you and Seungmin have to figure out", he says, softer now.

"Yeah, okay”, you nod even though he can't see you, “can you tell him to call me?"

Chan agrees, giving you goodbye and ending the call. You feel like crying, you know Seungmin is not the type to sleep with someone and then ghost them... But, maybe after having you, he realized he didn't actually want you.

I'm afraid, I'm in pain

After being dragged out of his room and forced to sit at the table with the others, Seungmin played with his food for fifteen minutes before the tears started to brim out of his eyes. The first one to notice was Minho, who almost chokes on his food.

"A-are you crying?" He asks, making everyone snap their heads at him, checking with whom he's speaking with.

The boys have never seen Seungmin cry and they're not sure if they ever will see it again, so saying they are shocked is an understatement.

"What's happening right now?" Jeongin whispers to Hyunjin who shrugs, watching the scene with a frown on his face.

"I'm fine, ignore me", Seungmin says, wiping the stains of the tears left on his cheeks.

"Something surely must have happened for you to be crying", Chan says, a concerned tone in his voice.

"She left me", he states, making them more confused, "Y/N. She chose her boyfriend over me"

Silence. Everyone is just staring at him or exchanging worried glances with each other, not sure what to say.

"I mean, you did go for someone who was already taken", Changbin points out, breaking the awkward silence and receiving a glare from Chan.

"Yeah, I'll get over it", Seungmin says, standing up. "If she calls, say I'm out of the country"

He walks back to his room, rolling in his bed. He doesn't want to talk to you, not just because he's mad, but because he's afraid.

He's so scared you're going to say last night was a mistake, so scared you're going to ask him to keep being only your friend. Because he can't do that, not after tasting you, not after hearing your sweet moans, not after you whispered his name, breathlessly while squeezing him inside you.

He can't see you with someone else, but he can't live without you either. He's sure he'll die if he has to choose between being your friend or not having you at all. So he'll avoid you, until he's confident again.

What you did was a huge blow to his self esteem, the way you left without talking to him, not even to tell him you regretted it. You just snuck out, like he didn't mean anything to you. So he needs to be confident again, he still has some pride after all.

After three days avoiding you, he's already exhausted. He can't sleep, can't eat, can't function properly without you. Before, he'd wake up every day and send you a good morning message. Now, he opens the chat with you and feels his heart sink, seeing all the messages you sent asking to speak to him, messages he can't bring himself to answer.

You went to the dorms, he knows it. The boys told you he wasn't there, but you could tell they were lying, he knows that too. You must think he's pathetic, right? A guy so afraid to be rejected he can't even look at your face.

Oh, baby, please don't hurt me

As if destiny was playing a sick joke, you wake up to your phone going off. Two calls missed from Soojin and five messages she sent you.

Soojina~: are you awake?

Soojina~: did you see this?

Soojina~: link

Soojina~: did the guys tell you about it?

Soojina~: before you see it, don't panic, I'll be home soon so we can figure it out.

You open the link, curious about what left your friend so restless. The page loads showing an article with Seungmin and another idol's pictures.

"Stray Kids Seungmin rumored to be seen out on a date with soloist Yuri"

There's a picture of someone who looks an awful lot like Seungmin laughing with a girl, the prettiest girl you have ever seen.

You feel sick, your head is spinning and you feel like you'll throw up. After a few minutes staring at the article, you start seeing red, you're pissed, your blood is boiling.

So this is why Soojin was scared. Today you'll be committing a murder.

The dorms are full of paparazzis, luckily you're in your car, so you pass through them and enter the building parking lot. You walk fast to the elevator and press for the floor you're headed to.

You bang on the door loud enough to wake the neighbors, pressing the doorbell incessantly.

Jeongin opens the door in a fast swing ready to curse whoever is causing the commotion but stopping on his tracks when he sees you.

"Where's Seungmin?" You ask.

"H-he's not here", he says, peeking behind him.

"Let me in, I'll wait for him", you don't wait for his answer, passing through him and finding Seungmin seated on the couch. He locks eyes with you, making you feel even more mad.

"So… I'll be going out to do anything that doesn't involve being in the middle of this situation right now", Jeongin says, grabbing his car keys and walking out of the door.

You and Seungmin stare at each other for a whole five minutes, not saying a word, daring each other to be the first one to talk.

"What do you want?" He finally gives in.

"Is that article true?" You ask through gritted teeth, throwing your purse on the couch.

"What's it to you?" He answers deadpan and you laugh, a loud unbelieving laugh.

"Well, I may not be as good as your new girlfriend but you did fuck me not even a week ago"

"Well, I guess that makes us even", he answers angrily, spitefully even, standing up. The article is not true, but why do you care? You chose your boyfriend over him.

"Woah, you're unbelievable!", you say, taking a step towards him, "how can you say that after telling me you wanted to be with me, was that a lie?"

“You have no right coming here to accuse me like that after what you did", he steps forward too, brows furrowed in annoyance.

You didn't notice how close you were until you felt his breathing hit your face, you were instantly invaded by his familiar scent, the one that makes your legs weak and your core ache.

Seungmin is no better, the moment he got close enough, he felt your sweet scent, making him even angrier. Why must he feel this way even though you broke his heart?

However, he can't help it, every fiber of his body wants to feel you one more time, even if after this you leave him again.

Before you both know it, your lips crash down into a rough, clumsy kiss. You both are too eager, yearning for each other. He bites your lower lip hard enough to draw blood, grabbing your ass and holding you up so you can wrap your legs around his hips.

He heads to his room without moving his lips away from yours. It's different from that first time, he's giving it his all, like this will be the last time he'll have you.

He drops you on the bed, unbuttoning his pants and taking his shirt off, this time he has no time to lose. You watch him, propped on your elbows, your lower lip caught between your teeth. Did he get hotter in a week or are you just too horny?

He climbs on the bed, grabbing the hem of your shirt and pulling it up, staring at your exposed chest like a starved man.

He's mad at you, he's angry, he's furious. He wants to destroy you, ruin you, he wants to make you cry, he wants to make you beg.

Why are you looking at him with those eyes? Those eyes full of lust, the same lust that shattered his heart?

You see him hesitate and for a moment, despair growns in your chest, you can't let him back down, not when you know he will go back to someone else.

You grab his face, cupping his cheek and pulling it close again, kissing him. His lips are so soft, so sweet, you could kiss him forever. His hands reach your breasts, playing and pinching your nipples. You moan, throwing your head back. Oh, how much he missed that beautiful sound. 

You palm his length over his underwear, he's so hard it must be painful. You pull his cock out of his underwear, stroking it up and down.

“F-fuck”, he gasps, lips slightly open.

You need to prove to him that you're the one he's supposed to be with, the only way you can think of is showing how much you want him, how much you need him.

You push him onto the bed, making him fall on his back. You throw a leg over his hips, positioning your core right on his length, you kiss him once more, never getting tired of his mouth against yours.

Going down, you kiss and bite on his neck, making sure he's covered in hickeys, making sure whoever looks, knows he's yours.

You kiss his chest, his stomach and finally grab his cock, kissing the tip while glancing at him. He's propped on his elbows, looking at you with his lower lip between his teeth.

You lick the length of his dick, wrapping it with your mouth, going up and down. You hear his low moans, he's trying to control himself but you don't want him to, you want to hear the beautiful sounds he'll make when he cums in your mouth.

You start sucking even harder, making his hand come to your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair, holding you still while he goes deeper into your throat, fucking your mouth.

“Just like that, shit”, he groans, pushing his hips even harder against your face. You can feel his cock twitching, “I'm close”, he warns you and moments later you can feel his hot cum filling your mouth. You swallow everything, licking your lips and opening your mouth to show it to him.

You climb up, staring at him for a few seconds before kissing him again. You missed him so much, his voice, his scent, his touch, everything about him. He cups your face, deepening the kiss. It's just too much for him, he's feeling too vulnerable.

Seungmin doesn't like the way he is when he's with you, because you own him completely. If you tell him right now that you just want him as a side piece he'll agree, because he can't lose you.

You can feel his cock getting harder again under you, so you pump it a few times before sliding it inside of you. It feels so good, being with him is so good, you almost forget that what you're doing is wrong, but at the moment you don't care about his girlfriend, you only care about making him stay with you.

You start moving your hips, sinking up and down on his cock, you stare at him deeply, not daring to break eye contact. Unexpectedly, you see tears running out of his eyes, making you stop your movements.

“Don't stop”, he asks, wiping the tears off of his face. “Please”, he asks and you start over, feeling your orgasm approaching.

Seeing him cry just makes all the pain you felt in the last week come back to you, making your chest hurt and the tears escape from your eyes.

You're not sure if you're feeling over sensitive because of your last orgasm, or if you're just too sad with the whole situation you're in.

When you cum, whimpering and sniffing it doesn't take much more time for him to follow you.

You collapse on his chest, coming down off your high. He has his arms resting on his sides, not touching you and you can't take it anymore. You don't care if you look pathetic, you just can't let him go without a fight.

“I love you”, you tell him, not looking into his eyes, too afraid to see any sign of that same indifference from earlier on his face. “Please, stay with me, don't leave me”, you beg.

Seungmin stops breathing for a moment, why are you asking him to stay when you have a boyfriend?

“That day, after we spent the night together, I went to meet my ex and broke up with him”, you confess.

He never thought a couple of words could bring so much life to a person. You just collected all the pieces of his shattered heart and put them back together.

When he doesn't answer, you finally muster up the courage to look at him, even though you're scared of what you're going to see. However, you find his brown eyes looking at you carefully, not one bit of that indifference you thought you'd find.

“The article is fake”, he wraps his arms around your waist, embracing you with such warmth, making you feel like crying again. “Chan and Minho are actually out at the company trying to fix the mess”

You gulp, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. But, what are you going to do now?

“Do you want to eat some noodles at the convenience store?”, he asks, as if he could hear your thoughts and you nod. You're not sure where you two stand, you will take any extra time you can have with him.

The walk to the store is silent, both of you with too many thoughts in your mind. Seungmin notices that you buy the same spice noodles you were eating when he saw you for the first time and he accompanies you, walking with you to the other side of the street where staff leave some tables for the customers to eat looking at the river.

You try coming up with anything to say, but your mind doesn't seem to work at all, Seungmin seems too focused on the water, frowning.

"I think we started wrong", he says suddenly, looking back at you. "It's best if we end things as they are now"

You are not sure what you expected but you surely didn't expect this. Maybe your mind got too caught up in the way he embraced you earlier, delusioning your heart to believe everything would be alright.

You want to cry, but you won't. Not now, at least. You brought this upon yourself.

"You're right", you tell him, your chest hurts so much it feels like you were stabbed with a knife and the way he stares at you, deadpan, makes everything worse.

You wait a moment, too weak to get up, your legs don't seem to answer your command. When you finally manage to stand up, you tidy your crumpled clothes and smile slightly at him, trying to look strong.

"I'm gonna go, then", you say and he watches as you turn around, walking away, too afraid to lose control of your emotions and beg him again for him to stay with you.

When you're almost turning on the street corner, you hear loud footsteps coming in your direction. Some tears managed to run down your face when you were walking away from him, but you instantly wipe them when you hear the sound.

You stop on your tracks when you see Seungmin walking by your side, you stare at him with a frown on your face, waiting for him to say something.

"Sorry, I just saw you walking by and wanted to ask for your number", he says, giving you his phone. "I'm Kim Seungmin by the way"

He has a smug smile on his face, proud of himself for successfully tricking you.

"Are you hitting on me mr. Kim Seungmin?" You ask, not understanding exactly what is happening but going along with him.

You'll take anything he gives you.

"I mostly definitely am", he confirms, "and I'd like to take you on a date"

You smile, feeling tears come to your eyes once again, now they are tears of happiness. You open the biggest smile he has ever seen on you and nod.

"Are you available right now?" You ask and he grabs your hand.

"If it's for you I'm always available"

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing. Also, you can buy me a coffee.

When I first thought about the idea to the part 1 of this fic, it ended with a happy ending but my mind just thought about mischievous things and I ended up making that open ending lmao as a lot of people asked for a part 2 this is my redemption arc because I'm a sucker for happy endings

[antoniorhinothethird]

I can't comment I don't know what's happening! 😭 First I can't message and my messages completely vanished, and now this.... Sigh I hope this works.

Okay.. Hold on. I- my emotions... This is some delicious angst. 🤧👌🏻 Lia, our poor girl, she didn't deserve that. Han should've ended things the second time he felt nothing while he was with her. I really do get Han, he doesn't owe mc anything, even though he was a dick about it, not giving mc the space she asked for, getting possessive over her when he sees her with someone else, and then asking her to stay with him even if it's crushing her heart, promising he'll pity like her in exchange. I-

He can't be that dumb to not know that the reason he's feeling indifferent towards Lia is because he doesn't like her anymore and shouldn't lead her on further. So he wouldn't break another girl's heart.

I mean I know the idiot is too confused right now and I do feel bad...

But Lia.. 💔💔

Also, I think i've read too much cheating angst that as soon as Jeongho called mc with something ruffling going on in the background, my brain automatically thinks, that he has a side piece or mc is his side piece or he's married. 😅😭 Damn it.

Fuck I am so obsessed with this one, I can't wait for the next chapter! Every word just pierces through my heart so good! 💔🤘🏻 Thank you for writing this beauty! 🙏🏻

Another Love | part 3

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 5,082

Warnings: do I even have to warn you guys about angst at this point?

You can read the other parts here: Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: this is not proofread because I'm sleepy, tomorrow I'll probably come back and fix the things that should be fixed.

I'm planning one or two more parts for this fic.

Seungmin got home after work and awkwardly told you he found a new roommate, it's a friend from his highschool time.

“That's great”, you tell him, even though you're worried, because that means you have to go back home and you just don't know if you're ready yet.

“I asked him for two weeks, so I could settle everything, so take your time”, he says and you nod.

That is a good amount of time, Jeongho is coming to see you in two days and you're really looking forward to seeing him. You find yourself already missing the man even though it's barely two weeks since you last saw him last.

Things with Jeongho are going slowly but great, he's sweet and makes sure you're comfortable with every advance he makes. You can't deny, being the object of affection of such a handsome and interesting person is flattering.

“Do you wanna go out before I move out? We can go watch a movie or eat something nice, it's on me”, you ask while watching him walk to his room.

“That would be nice, I'll check my schedule and we can set the date”, he tells you before closing the door to his bedroom.

You're so grateful to Seungmin, if it wasn't for him you would have been forced to stay living with Jisung after he rejected you, or you would have had to rent a crap apartment on short notice so you could have a place to stay without bothering anyone.

Speaking of the devil, it's the first time in a few days you're thinking about Jisung and you realize how relieved you are. It makes you believe things are finally looking up for you.

Living in Japan, Jeongho can only come to see you on weekends when he's not working. So you basically spend two weekends a month with him, it's not perfect but at the same time you two decided to take things slowly so you're taking your time to actually develop your feelings for him. What doesn't take very long.

You're not sure if it's because you were deprived of an actual romantic relationship for quite some time or if it happens to be like that because Jeongho is such a warm person to be around, but you just know you like him.

You are at the airport, waiting for him to arrive. When people start coming out of the gate, you tiptoe trying to find him in the crowd.

He's doing the same as you, but being taller it's not so difficult for him to find you. You jump and wave with your arms even though you know he already saw you, but you're just too excited to see him.

“And here I thought it would be difficult finding you”, he stops in front of you while you throw your arms around his neck and squeeze him into your embrace.

“I missed you”, you tell him. He chuckles, bringing his hands up and cupping your face, lightly brushing his lips on yours before landing the most sweet kiss.

“I missed you too”, he tells you, connecting your foreheads. You smile brightly, feeling warm.

You really like Jeongho, and that makes you wonder how your life would have been if you had said yes to him in middle school.

“Let's go”, you say, intertwining you fingers with him, “you have to rest because I have lots of fun planned for us”

He nods, paying attention to every word you say while you tell him some of the things you want to do during the weekend.

You stay in his hotel since you can't take him to sleep on Seungmin's sofa. You two ask for room service and talk about everything—his life in Japan, his work, your major, your tutoring and how things are going now that you will have to go back to live with Jisung.

“How are you feeling about that?” He asks, while you eat.

“Honestly, I don't know”, you tell him. “But I'm pretty confident, things are different now, I even have a hot boyfriend”, you joke, making him choke on his food.

“I don't remember being asked out”, he says, raising one eyebrow.

“Well, I thought it was a giving”, you shrug, biting on your burger, “since you're down bad for me”

He laughs out loud, throwing his head back.

“I'm not saying you're wrong, but you could be a little more humble”, he tells you, grabbing a napkin and whipping the ketchup off of the corner of your lips.

“Don't you think I've been humble enough for like a decade?”

“You got a point”

You soon finish your dinner and turn on the TV so you can watch a movie. It's just comfortable being with Jeongho, he makes the storm that usually is your mind become a light rain.

The next day is packed, you wake him up at 9 a.m. knowing it's going to be difficult to take him out of bed, especially when he keeps holding you and trying to make you stay in his warm embrace.

“We have to go”, you tell him, trying to escape from his heavy arm around your waist.

“Just more five minutes”, he asks, snuggling his head in the crock of your neck.

You really do want to stay like this with him, but you can't be swayed, you two have a full schedule that must be fulfilled.

“Jeongho, we must go or we are going to lose my first surprise”, you pout.

“Surprise?” He asks, backing away to look at you.

“Yes, I prepared a lot of things for us to do this weekend”, you give him a smug smile, “I didn't tell you half of it yesterday”

“Hm, that does sound interesting”, the hold on your waist tightens, making your body press even more against his. Jeongho lands a kiss on your cheek, then on your neck, going slower, “but you'll have to give me more than that to convince me that anything you planned is better than this”, you gasp feeling his hot breath hitting on your skin.

“I-”, you're not sure if you want to go out anymore, after feeling his soft lips again. “Babe”, you whisper, almost giving up when he flinches, backing away again. He is blushing.

“Did you just call me ‘babe’?” He asks flustered and you nod, smiling sheepishly.

“I mean, if you don't like it-”

“Of course I like it”, he answers fast, sitting on the bed. “Let's go, if you keep this up I won't let you get out of this bed for the whole weekend”, he tells you, getting up.

That offer does sound tempting, you sigh, but you two really do have lots to do.

Jeongho is not your first boyfriend, you didn't spend years pining over Jisung just waiting. Trying to get over him one way or another, you had your fair share of relationships, they just quite never made you feel like it was enough.

Until now. Jeongho easily swept you off your feet, liking him is just natural.

“Say cheese”, he asks while taking a selfie of you two, you're resting in a cafe after walking for hours.

“You really do like taking pictures”, you say and he nods.

“I do, especially when I'm with the second prettiest woman in the world”, he tells you.

You chuckle.

“May I presume that the number one is your mother?”

“Of course, dear. Who else could compete with you?”, he jokes, making you roll your eyes.

Jeongho’s name is called and he excuses himself to go to the counter to get your orders. This cafe you're visiting just opened, it is pretty popular and always crowded. You were only able to secure a table for your date because Hanna has a friend who works at the cafe and they were able to reserve it for you.

You hear the noise from the bell on the door and lift your eyes out of your phone to look at it, meeting Jisung's eyes.

What is he doing here?

“I didn't want to say it, but I think the cake you make is prettier than this one”, you hear Jeongho's voice, making you turn away to look at him, praying that your best friend won't try to talk to you.

Jeongho is much more sensible than you think, he picks up on your sudden stiffness and the awkwardness on your face, looking around to find out what happened. He sees Jisung coming in your direction hand in hand with a girl.

His right hand moves fast to the hand you have on the table, and his left one lands on your back, giving you reassurance.

“Jisung, it's been a while”, Jeongho says, voice more stern than you're used to, making you look at his face again, to see him almost glaring at your friend.

“Jeongho”, Han smiles, glancing at the hand your boyfriend has over yours and noticing how close you're from each other, “I thought you lived in Japan”, he points out.

“I do, but I come often to visit my girlfriend”, Jeongho smiles pretentiously.

“Your what now?” Han asks him, but he's looking at you, “last time I checked you haven't seen each other for almost ten years”

You turn your hand around, interlacing your fingers with Jeongho.

“Well, it has been a while since you last checked”, you answer, confidently.

Jisung's stand falters and the frown in his face is just priceless but you feel bad that he had to find out this way.

“Why are you being so awkward”, Lia says, glaring at him, “you should be happy for them”

She smiles at you.

“I'm happy for you, y/n, please take good care of her”, she tells Jeongho and he smiles kindly at her. “We will be on our way, then”

You have known Lia for a few months now. She was always nice to you, going to the apartment all the time and you thought her and Jisung to be just friends until you saw him smiling when he picked up her call, the same smile you have coveted for so long, wishing you were the one in the receiving end of that smile.

But you never were.

There's no reason for you to dislike her just because she is with him, now you have your own love and you don't need to wish for the affection of someone that doesn't have it in them to give it to you.

“Well, that was awkward”, Jeongho's voice takes you out of your daze. “Are you alright?”, he asks, bending down to be closer to you.

You smile at him, giving him a peck on the lips.

“I'm good, I have you”, you tell him. The man smiles brightly, tilting his head while looking at you lovingly.

“Now I'm thinking you're the one who's down bad for me”, he scoffs playfully, standing up and sitting in front of you.

“I can't confirm nor deny”, you say, winking at him. “What I can confirm is that the cake I bake is prettier than this one”, you bring back what he told you before.

“That's what I'm telling you!” He says excitedly, forgetting about Jisung, and honestly, you do too.

Why is she laughing so much? Is he even that funny? Or is she just trying to win his favor? Those are the thoughts Jisung has in his head while waiting for his order to get ready, he can't stop stealing glances at you, he misses your smiles and your laugh, there was a time he was the main reason for that beautiful sound to come out of your mouth.

“They look good together”, Lia's voice never sounded so annoying to him, what is she even talking about? You and Jeongho don't look good at all.

He gets up when his name is called, going to the counter to pick up his order and walking outside to meet Lia after. He can't stop thinking about you, if you hadn't gone away he would be the first person to know about you and Jeongho. It's just weird for him not being the first person you tell things to, that's what is bothering him he's sure of it.

The fact that he couldn't listen to anything Lia said throughout their whole date honestly worries him, Jisung has no idea what's happening to him and why he's acting this way towards the girl he was so into a few months ago.

He tries to bury himself in work, doing everything to stop thinking. He's afraid of what he's going to find out if he dig any deeper trying to understand his feelings.

You're in front of your apartment, you know the passcode and you know Jisung is not there at that moment but you just can't move. You have your huge bag hanging on your shoulder and another one on the floor, the only thing you have to do is go inside, so why is it so terrifying? The other time you went there to pick your books and some clothes, you didn't feel this way.

Was it because you knew you were not staying? Or was it because you and your best friend were on better terms at the time? Maybe you should just rent a crap apartment and go live alone. But how are you going to explain that to your parents? You can’t run away from Jisung your whole life, he is your best friend.

“Oh dear, were you traveling?” You hear the voice of the old lady who lives right next door.

You turn around, putting the sweetest smile you have on your lips.

“Hello, Mrs. Park, I was visiting a friend”, you half lie.

“Oh, that sounds like fun”, she giggles, “are you having trouble going inside?”

“Actually, Jisung changed the password and forgot to tell me”, you smile, lying through your teeth now, “I'm waiting for him to answer my texts”

She nods.

“Oh, your generation don't like to call, right? If I were you, I would call him until he picked up”, she jokes, “would you like to come inside to wait? You're going to get tired by just standing there”

You breathe, relieved, you know it's just a temporary measure but you'll take any opportunity not to enter your apartment yet.

“I would love to”, you answer her, grabbing the bag from the floor and following her inside.

Her apartment has pretty much the same layout as yours, but the decoration couldn't be any more different. She has lots of trinkets, frames and a clock hanging on the wall. There are a lot of pictures of her children and grandchildren.

“What about your husband?” You ask, sitting on the sofa while watching her going through the kitchen and putting some water to boil.

“He's visiting his brother in the countryside”, she answers. Your eyes wander around the room, landing on a frame with a beautiful couple. The picture looks old as it has a lot of aging marks.

“Oh, it's me and my husband”, Mrs. Park says, making you flinch to hear her so close to you. She has a proud smile on her lips. “Quite a handsome couple, weren't we?” She points out and you nod.

“Yes, a very charming couple”

She sighs, putting the tray with the teacups on the table in the center of the room.

“You know, he was my best friend”, she sits on the sofa, pointing to the other side for you to do the same, “I didn't always see him as a man, you know? I was in love with someone else at the time he confessed”

You stare at her, not sure what she's trying to say.

“But that guy broke my heart and he was there to pick it up and I fell in love”, she completes, with loving eyes.

“I'm not sure if I understand”, you say, feeling strangely uncomfortable.

“I'm telling you that the person you like may take a bit of time to understand his feelings”, she smiles kindly, “but I'm sure he will come to his senses”

You drop your eyes to your hands, fidgeting with your fingers. You're sure the old lady is only telling you that so you can feel better, but you don't feel like that at all. You don't want Jisung to like you now, you are exhausted from waiting for him.

“Your story is amazing, Mrs. Park”, you tell her, “but I already have someone who's absolutely sure of his feelings for me”, you stand, “I don't think I'll have to wait for another love”

She stares at you for a moment, analyzing you, trying to guess if you're being serious. Then, she smiles, standing too.

“I'm glad you came to that conclusion, honey”, she gets closer, patting you on the back. “Did Jisung send you the password?”, she asks, seeing you collect your bags.

“Yes, I have everything I need to go back home”, you say, thanking her for the hospitality.

You take a few deep breaths before pressing the password on the lock of your door. The house is the same as it was when you last went there.

You put your things in your room, unpacking your belongings and putting everything in place. You go to the living room, opening the glass door to the balcony so some air can circulate inside, you're sure Jisung spent his days out and didn't worry about opening the house a bit.

You go to the kitchen, there's nothing in the freezer, you already knew that you'd find it empty so it's time to go grocery shopping.

You're in the middle of the vegetables section when your phone buzzes. Looking at the device, you see Jeongho's name lightening the screen.

“Hey”, you answer, smiling.

“Hello, my love”, he says, you hear heavy breathing in the back of the call.

“Is everything okay?” You ask, worried.

“Yeah, I was hitting the gym and they called me from the office saying they needed me”, he sighs, rustling at the other side of the line.

“If you're in a hurry why are you calling me?” You ask, frowning.

“Of course, it's because I told you I would call you in the afternoon”, he tells you like it's the most obvious thing in the world and you giggle, feeling the happiest at that moment, warmth growing on your chest.

“You could have just texted me”, you tell him.

“Then I wouldn't be able to hear your sweet voice”, you're sure he has that flirty playful smile on his lips while saying that.

You sigh, leaning on a shelf from the store.

“I miss you”, you tell him.

On the other side of the line Jeongho stops on his tracks, smiling to himself while fidgeting.

“Me too, I can't wait to see you next weekend”, he says, “I was thinking maybe we could have dinner with all your friends so I can be officially introduced?”

“Yeah, that would be great”, you say, “I'll talk to them”

“Okay, I have to go now but I'll text you later”

It's great having someone who actually reciprocates your feelings, much better, someone you're so into as Jeongho.

You walk out of the elevator struggling to carry the groceries, finding a feminine figure hovering over your door. When she turns around, you recognize Lia.

“Hey”, you frown, did Jisung not tell her he was out?

“Y/N, hey!” She says, smiling at you. “Here, let me help you”, she says, grabbing two bags out of your hands.

“Thank you!” You say, “Jisung is not home right now, but come inside to wait for him, I don't think he's going to take long”

You open the door, giving space for her to walk in and then close the door.

“I'm sorry about showing up unannounced”, she smiles sheepishly, putting the bags on the table in the kitchen. “I texted Jisung but he didn't see my texts, I just wanted to give this to him”, she says, taking a pot out of her bag.

“Oh, okay”, you take it from her hands and turn around, putting it in the fridge.

“You can have some, I made a lot”, she says awkwardly and you smile at her.

“Thank you, Lia. Are you sure you don't want to wait?” You ask, looking at the mirror, you're sure he will be home soon and if she stays it's less of an opportunity for you to speak to him.

“I have class”, she sighs, “can you tell him to call me?”

“Sure, I'll tell him”, you nod. She starts walking to the door and you accompany her, saying goodbye and watching her enter the elevator, waving goodbye to you while the doors are closing.

You're sure you could have been friends if things were different. You sigh, rolling up the sleeves of your shirt while going back inside.

You brought a lot of vegetables, they all need to be washed before being put in the fridge, so you start taking them out of the bags to organize everything.

You have the sink’s tap running and some music playing on your phone, so when the door is opened and a tired Jisung enters the house you don't seem to notice.

He stares at you as if you're a mirage, happiness overflowing in his chest with your presence back home. He watches as you hum to the song playing, a few strands of your hair falling on your face.

With a bowl of vegetables ready to be stored, you turn around bumping into your best friend, making you jump.

“When did you get here?” You ask, with your hand on your chest, heart beating fast, not sure if it's because of the surprise or because you're finally facing him.

“I just got here”, he lies, he can't tell you it's been minutes he's there watching you.

You nod, opening the fridge to store the vegetables, trying to avoid his gaze. Not sure of how to act now that you're back.

“Oh, Lia stopped by and left you this”, you point to the pot.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know she was going to come here”, he starts explaining and you frown.

“There's no reason for you to apologize, she's your girlfriend”, you answer nonchalantly and he steps back, feeling a sudden ache in his chest. You're not even looking at him while saying that, but why is it that you look so unbothered? Are you really over him? That's what he wanted, so why doesn't he feel relieved?

“She's not my girlfriend”, he tells you, frowning. You finally look at him, he's staring at you like he expects something from you. You don't know what he wants and you sure don't have the energy to try and find out.

“Anyway”, you say, closing the fridge, “I'm sure she'll be your girlfriend soon, you can bring her anytime you want don't mind me”

“Won't you feel uncomfortable?” He asks, fidgeting uncomfortably.

“Not at all”, you grab your phone and put it in your pocket, ready to go take a shower. “I plan on bringing my boyfriend a lot here, so it won't be fair to you if you can't do the same”

You flash him a smile before heading to your room. You're acting the same as you did before your confession, so why does it make him so miserable now?

“So, does he want to ask for your hand in marriage or something like that?” Felix asks, making you and Hannah choke on your drinks, while Hyunjin and Minho laugh at your reaction. “I'm just asking!”

“No, why would you even think that?”, you chuckle.

“It's such a formal thing to have dinner like this”, Seungmin points out, “normal people just arrange a meeting at a cafe or something like that”

“He likes y/n, he must not be right in the head”, Jeongin says and you smack him in the head, making him pout.

“I think it's cute that he wants to meet you all formally”, you say.

“I think it's nice too”, Hannah supports you, “if you guys don't wanna go just say it”

“Now, we didn't say that”, Minho says. “It's just a bit weird to finally meet a boyfriend you actually like. Especially since we all thought Hannie would fall in love with you eventually”

You nod, sighing and feeling a bit upset with his comment, but you know it's impossible for people to forget you were in love with Jisung for more than a decade.

“Yeah, I get where you're coming from, but I'm happy with Jeongho and I want you all to meet him and know how great he is”

Minho nods.

“Yeah, okay. Then, I guess I'll have to give him the ‘dad talk’”, he says seriously and everyone laughs at your terrified face.

“Please don't”, you beg him.

You get home earlier than expected, Jisung is not home yet so you have the house to yourself for a bit. A long, hot shower is everything you need to relax. It's been a long week with awkward interactions between you and Jisung, you kept trying to avoid him, at least until you feel comfortable like you used to.

You spend too much time organizing your wardrobe, when you look at the time you realize how late it is. So you grab a towel and hurry to the bathroom, trying to get back to your room before Jisung gets home.

The hot water does wonders to you, even though you have to take a quick shower, it helps a lot with your sore muscles from stress.

When you wrap yourself in the towel and your clothes are nowhere to be found, you know you fucked up. It's even worse when you hear the beeps at the door, fucking hell. Things are already awkward, if you walk out of this bathroom in only a piece of fabric, things will be even worse.

You can tell Jisung is in the kitchen because you can hear him walking around, opening the cabinets and humming to some music while setting the table. You're sure you can just run to your room and he'll never know this happened.

That would be a great plan, actually, if Han wasn't knocking on your room's door exactly when you got out of the bathroom.

He turns around, with a big smile on his face that automatically dies down the moment he sees you. Your life is so fucked up, really. You have been living together for three years, of course he had seen you in only a towel before but things were inevitably different now. Maybe he thinks you did this on purpose?

"Ahm-", you're trying to explain yourself, you can tell he's speechless, "I was trying to shower before you arrived and happened to forget to take my clothes with me", you say, smiling sheepishly.

"Oh, yeah", he answers, stepping aside so you can enter your room. "You can come eat when you're done, I brought pizza", he says and you nod, walking fast into your room and locking the door.

From now on you'll have a checklist of things you have to take to the bathroom when showering so your dumbass doesn't forget about the most important thing: clothes.

Han feels his ears getting warmer, you look somehow different, he just can't tell exactly what changed. Every other time you saw him in a towel or the other way around, you both would brush it off and laugh about it, why does he feel so embarrassed now?

"Did you change your hair?" He asks, your mouth is full so you can't answer him right away.

"No? Maybe it grew a bit"

"That must be it", he nods.

Yeah, it's definitely her hair that's different, he thinks.

"I'll do the dishes, you must be tired after practicing all day", you say, gathering the plates.

Han nods, getting up and telling you he's going to take a shower.

The image of the drops of water running from your hair through your neck and chest and disappearing in the soft fabric is the first thing that comes to Jisung's mind when the hot water hits his skin.

Where you always like that? Your skin looked so soft, he felt the urge to caress it, what would your reaction be if he touched you?

Han frowns, why the hell is he thinking about that? He must be crazy, it's the only reasonable answer.

The fact that another date with Lia went by and Jisung couldn't pay attention to a word she said makes it clear to him that things are not the same between them and that he doesn't want to keep things going as they are.

“I think we shouldn't see each other anymore”, he says, when they arrive at her apartment. Lia's hands stop before she can open the door and she turns around slowly, looking at Jisung.

“What are you talking about?” She asks, leaning on the door, staring at the guy she likes. He sighs, trying to come up with a good explanation for the reason he wants to end things.

“I just, don't feel the same anymore”, he looks at his feet, not able to look her in the eyes yet.

She is staring at him, crossed arms in front of her chest, trying to hold the tears, trying not to break.

“You have been acting indifferent to me for quite some time now”, she points out, with a bitter smile on her lips. “I should have ended things when I first noticed it, I guess I just like you that much, huh”, she completes, taking a deep breath.

“I'm sorry”, Han sighs, finally looking at her, “I didn't mean to hurt you”

“Yeah”, she scoffs, “Is it because of y/n?”

Jisung's eyes widen.

“It was always quite clear that she liked you”, she completes, before he can say anything. “I just didn't pay any mind to it because you guys have been friends for such a long time”

“It's not like that-”, he tries to argue.

“That day at the cafe you couldn't take your eyes out of her and that guy”, she points out, “she liked you for so long and right when she finds someone else you start liking her?” Lia scoffs, feeling the tears brimming in her eyes.

“I don't like her like that”, he says and the girl rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that”, she says before turning around and entering her apartment, closing the door in his face.

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing. Also, you can buy me a coffee.

Taglist: if the tag didn't work please check your settings and let me know(I won't be tagging people with no age visible on their profiles or blank blogs)

@hhwangsmoon @weareapackofstrays @shycreationdreamland @adestayskz @skizmee @ca11me3mily @realviviboss @sofix-hc7 @seungminsapuppy @starsandrqindrops @its-hannjisung @redstayrosie @mae-is-cute98 @blithevix @astro-doll-the-star @vlctorriaa @captainchrisstan @rag-iii @notastraykid @hanoobinie @jisunghannie @applepie-macaroon @stayingdelulu @sundayysunshine @kidrauhlschik @wolfennracha @meloncremesoda @hanschimpmunk @realrintaro @teejisung @maexc @gyustarzzi @ellebasiyx @ivaneedssleep @chaeryred @daemon-bunny @broken-glowsticks @ch4nniebang @sleepyleeji @seukijeuxq

[antoniorhinothethird]

Why are the 'copy link' and 'block' options right next to each other? 😩 I always have a mini heart attack when I almost block the writers of the fic that I wanted to read. Good thing tumblr asks first.. 😮‍💨

[antoniorhinothethird]

My heart is aching from how wonderfully written this is.. Every part was complete perfection, every word. 👌

I'm usually not a big fan when a fic is poetic because my brain is very dumb and I can't follow some parts sometimes. But this, it felt so poetic, but also not too complicated for my brain... 🥹

And the emotions.. They were so vivid. Like the incorporations of the colors too...

Yeah I'm no good with words, so i'll just say. THIS IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE VERY TALENTED! THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS! ♥️

red

a/n: songfic for taylor swift’s red (i wrote this as chan but i didn’t say any names so you could imagine any member), gn!reader, a little angsty with a happy ending bc im weak

loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street, paster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly

you met him right when you didn’t know that you needed him, and suddenly he’s imprinted into your life like a tattoo. first, second, third dates turn into sharing a toothbrush, spending more time at his place than your own, then living together because it just made sense. your possessions are his just as much as your heart is, and though you haven’t known him long he’s carved out such a distinct space in you that you can’t remember what it was like to not have him. he’s your first thought in the morning and the last thing that crosses your mind before you fall asleep. 

loving him is like trying to change your mind, once you're already flying through the free fall, like the colors in autumn, so bright, just before they lose it all

driving through the mountains on a day off, taking the time to get away with no destination in mind. the windows down, wind ripping through your hair and the autumn-tinged leaves lining the small street as he drives way faster than the limit. feeling more free than you ever have, not once looking back as you go further and further from all that you’ve known.

touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted, was right there in front of you

your hands tangled in his hair, his arms wrapped around you, the soft skin of his neck under your lips - it’s all you need. the worst days resolved with the touch of his hand on your cheek, the best days made better when he slings his arm around your waist to hold you close. his fingertips erasing all of your hurt and painting new images onto every plane of your body until not an inch is left without his mark.

memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words, to your old favorite song

knowing him better than you know yourself, having the details of his pretty face committed to memory since the first glance. everything you learn about him feels more like remembering than gaining something new. touching him comes from muscle memory, you know exactly where he’s sensitive and what parts of him to avoid because of his insecurities. he knows the perfect words to say to you when your emotions get the better of you, calming you down with what seems like practiced precision.

fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword, and realizing there's no right answer

swirls of anger, taking up the empty space in the room. you can’t see anything but him, his eyes bright with frustration and his mouth is moving but you don’t hear any words. you feel yourself responding, but you don’t know what you’re saying - is it too mean? does it make sense? 

you don’t know anymore. 

it clouds your mind until you can’t even breathe, the air coming out in bursts from your aching lungs. all you know is that he’s there, attention fully on you as he spouts questions that you don’t have answers for. it’s a losing battle, but you continue to swing your sword at him because it keeps him there, with you. 

regretting him was like wishing you never found out, that love could be that strong

nights spent with tears slowly leaking into your pillow cover, not bothering to wipe them away anymore because you know they will just be replaced moments later. the time of sobbing is over, the emotions aren’t raw anymore but they aren’t any less strong. just as unbearable as the day he walked out of your door. 

feeling like you should never have let him into your life, if it was going to lead to this. wishing that you never got into his car when he asked, that first time, the day that you looked into his eyes and thought that he was it. crying harder at the thought of never having had him, knowing that he changed you in every possible way that you can’t even recognize the person you are from who you were before him. 

losing him was blue, like I'd never known

letting him leave was the worst thing you’ve done. not running out after him, standing in your living room frozen for hours, is your strongest regret. watching the door, waiting and waiting for him to come back like he always does, only realizing when the sun rises that he isn’t going to. being left in the silence, every sound making you jump. 

missing him was dark gray, all alone

walking down the street with your headphones in. there’s no music playing, but you enjoy the muffled noises of the city that’s too loud without them. buildings and people blur past as you walk, the rhythmic movement of your feet matching the slow beat of your heart. 

you’ve been moving through the motions for days, weeks, months now. nothing felt real anymore, the colors have melted away one by one until you were left with black and white vision, the only time color hits your eyes is when you’re going through old photos on your phone. it dies more often than not, the battery life forgotten in favor of looking at him and how happy you used to be, and the black screen brings back the gray. 

forgetting him was like trying to know, somebody you never met

dates with new people, expecting a sharp response or a barking laugh that never comes because it’s not him. reaching up to brush a curl off of their forehead before realizing that there isn’t any hair to push back. offering to paint their nails and getting a curious or guarded look in response, like they don’t know why you would ever ask them that. 

he never made you ask - he would show up with a bottle and sit at your feet, resting his hands on your thighs with a silent question in his eyes. 

but loving him was red

he was like a fire, burning white-hot. the kind that tempts you to run your finger through, skimming the top and praying that you don’t go far down enough for it to burn you. not noticing that the heat was too much until it was too late, until you were too far into it to take it back. it was like walking through broken glass, hoping that whatever was at the end would be worth the pain. it was a cigarette, the smoke burning your lungs, replaced by the euphoria of the high.

remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

snapshots of moments filtering through your mind like a film roll.

dancing in the kitchen, music filtering in tinny soundwaves from his phone on the counter. almost tripping when he twirls you, you’d be on the floor if not for his arms scooping around you to hold you to his chest.

walking around town with him until the early hours of the morning, giggling into each other’s coats and holding each others’ hand like the world would end if you let go. sharing a plate of fries and a strawberry milkshake, one straw for two, at a late night diner. you’re the only two there, but it would matter if the place was packed to the brim, because all you can see is each other.

drinking wine straight from the bottle, passing it back and forth between you until your limbs felt fuzzy and your mouths were stained red. tasting it on your tongues when you slide into his lap to kiss him, letting your mouths slide lazily together as he rests his hands low on your waist.

tell myself it's time now gotta let go, but moving on from him is impossible

trying so hard to fill the space that he had left, but it gets bigger and bigger like a black hole, sucking up everything. even after all this time, you see the ghost of him around corners, through doorways and in your bed when you wake up and forget that he had left you. 

things that you don’t know how to stop doing. waiting for him to turn off the alarm in the morning. pouring out two cups of coffee just for one to get cold. leaving dishes in the sink for him to wash that get left until the next morning. leaving the light on at night for when he gets home late only for no one to turn it off until the next day. 

when I still see it all in my head, in burning red

and that's why he's spinning 'round in my head, comes back to me, burning red

drowning yourself in liquor, pacing the floor and gripping at your hair because you want him and he’s not there. a sharp knock on your door pulling you out of it, hope flooding in like it does every time someone is on the other side of the door, no matter how much you try and quell it down. taking a deep breath before you reach for the doorknob, tentative as if it’s going to burn you. you open the door and there he is, red.