apriiciitty

[apriiciitty]

I just feel the need to let everybody know that I, became overly obsessed with bill skarsgård. everything happened in a span of seconds

that’s all

[apriiciitty]

I just read ‘tender is the flesh’ (quite literally, I finished reading it like half an hour ago) and I can’t really understand why people hate on it so much.

i didnt know much when i got into it besides the fact the it’s about cannibalism and I also thought that it was a ‘thriller/murder-mystery’ book.

ALSO NOTE: I’ve never read anything like this before, the closest book I’ve read that contained so much death in general was probably ‘the cruel prince’😂

continuing: the author gathered a bunch of topics together and so I understand why everyone wanted more detail, more understanding of what was going on.

but the fact that we were thrown into the story the way we all read the book was just perfect. We understood that the world were Marco lived became a cruel place, there were rumours spread about a virus infecting all animals and suddenly all animals were gone, (to me) a real investigation for a cure to the ‘virus’ didn’t take place and suddenly cannibalism became a thing. Such a disturbing turn for humanity, it literally changed EVERYTHING on their lives.

to me reading the book felt like watching a movie. it left me with unanswered questions that can be customised by my own thoughts and ways of taking situations in. of course I’d like to know 1-2 things more and I’d definitely wouldn’t mind if the ending was a bit different but the ending we actually got, was such a ‘shake back to reality’.

Marco was someone who was trying to stay in touch with his humane self and sanity. he tried to stay undercover sane in a world were everything was far from sane, but life was cruel to him. The only source of happiness he could have was gone without him noticing and when he realised he could have it back, he lost himself completely.

I mean, we can discuss more about everything but overall, the book was a very very nice read.

[apriiciitty]

one for my enemy -mid-read-conclusion¿?-

people of the internet,

I'm halfway reading 'one for my enemy' (specifically page 90, II. 14) and I've got a few thoughts I want to share;

besides the fact that I love olivie's writing style and the atmosphere she creates in her world, I found I like a lot her characters and their personalities.

in this case I would like to share that so far, I dislike one character (even though I feel like there is more to come?) and that is, the sunshine: Roma :)

SPOILER AHEAD

so this is a tiny 'study' around him because I feel pity for him:

till page 90, our lovely dima still is in a never-ending coma so his family, specifically his father and his middle brother feel a special need to take revenge on Mashas family, since they are the cause of his state.

and so we have Roma, who feels this forced need to take revenge on a very personal level. so I simply think that, he is using this opportunity, to level-up himself in his fathers eyes.

I feel like his hate for the Antonova's is forced on to him because of his family, so after the incident with Marya on Dima, he felt the need to the things in his own hands and prove himself capable to his father, using the most wicked ways he could possibly thing of.

I hate him as a character because he is so influenced by the need for attention and recognition from his father as well as his entire family, that he doesn't think logical anymore, his thoughts and emotions have been darkened up and influenced by his jealousy and the need to come on the surface and so he gathered mixed hate from various sources and decided to aim it and let it out on the antonova family.

like, he doesn't think smart, his technics for revenge are just poor and will definitely expose his plan but since this is the only avalaible option for him at that moment, he just makes dumb moves that will get his brothers and whole family in trouble. especially the way he pushes lev into a mess of dangerous things and expects him to overdo every task successfully. like bro..

simply put: Roma is so washed up with -understandable but also not understandable- hatred that blinds him all the way up. and so actually, the one who's in fault here, is koschei, his dad.

but who knows, maybe I'm wrong...

if you are currently reading the book as well OR/AND want to share some thoughts please drop your opinions, I'm desparate for conversation about this masterpiece.

ps.: olivie blake is my new bestie but she doesn't know it yet :)

[apriiciitty]

SALTBURN DESTROYED ME BECAUSE IT LEFT MY HEAD FULL OF THOUGHTS.

the problem with me is, once I’ve watched a movie or series etc, I can’t just simply shut up it.

so here is a small ranting;

saltburn, cinematically speaking, was like a mixture of baz luhrmann dropped somewhere in the early 2006 and mid 90s.

specifically, the whole theme/vibe (forgive me I don’t know how to describe the atmosphere) reminded me a lot of the ‘party’ scene in Romeo and Juliet 1996 and (I hope some of yall watched it) the ad baz luhrmann did for H&M in 2017 ‘the secret life of flowers’

but it was a chaotic mess. you didn’t know what to expect, you were not very sure what was about to come because the atmosphere felt to be filled and heavy with thoughts and moments.

like you could sense that Oliver was up to something but it wasn’t clear enough what.

every guess i had while watching this movie, came out to be mostly wrong or didn’t went as expected.

the ‘thriller’ element was missing in my opinion because of the ‘lack of act’ HOWEVER the psychological element was there from second one.

Ooooog there is so much to talk about but overall, Oliver was a disturbing figure.

[apriiciitty]

in honour of jacks coming back home, I went quickly over the pages of once upon a broken heart and the ballad of never after and spirits of the internet, I’ve come to the realisation that every sentence that comes out of jacks lips is simply poetic.

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PEOPLE,

I’ve started reading a far wilder magic and I love this book so much!?

something I’ve noticed and love love love is that fact that the story is being told and developed around our main two characters Wes & Margaret.

we learn about the everything that is going on by the characters and we learn the characters from each other. this is just amazing.

I hate romance books where the main protagonists meet 1 time per page, so this is pure satisfaction for me.

[apriiciitty]

JAEWON AS PEOPLE PLEASER IN THE EIGHTH SENSE:

having the trait of being a people pleaser is not something one can build from one day to another. it’s a progress that takes a bit of time. the persona of a real person gets used into fitting themselves in other peoples thoughts, minds, opinions, choices etc.

in jaewon’s case, I believe this started being a habit of his from a young age simply because of the cliché ‘son of a rich family’ character which we get to see in many other series generally, where the son, because of the high pressure and weight the family’s name holds, is trying to please the family by committing requests which usually are top student, high grades, perfect status.

and simply because he comes from a rich family I’m assuming that this is where the ‘people pleaser’ phase started for him.

following a few years later and after his brothers death, I believe that his trait got more intense towards his parents because the expectations both parents had about two different children, were put together targeting the only one left with the weight for two. And slowly, this is how he started applying this trait to the people around him, mostly unconsciously.

I’m saying unconsciously because after a point, it really becomes part of someone’s behaviour without the person really realising it(at least in the moment).

In jaewon’s case, (in combination with his other mental instabilities (depression)), escaping from unwanted situations as fast as possible without getting mentally drained (at least directly) was just him adjusting himself into other peoples wantings, so after a point, this trait became adjusted to his own self because he kept the ‘positive’ part of it, which was; him getting along in peace with everyone around him and avoiding unwanted situations.

now pay attention, the pleaser trait towards his family started slowly falling apart on the timeline we got to know him: we met jaewon after he came back from his military service. in the first episode, after he drank and spend his night out, his received a message from his mom asking where he was and saying his dad was being angry about him being out a day before university. Later on we saw him not caring about his ‘perfect status’ and causing trouble in university on the incident with Taehyung…

besides that, we learned that jaewon gave up his dream on becoming a photographer after his brothers death because he was directly chosen for the heritage of the family, which he HAD to take care of as there was no other choice for him, since he couldn’t bring himself to disappoint his parents.

so slowly, many things started colliding.

his parents holding such a control on him, having so many personalised expectations from him and not letting hi free slowly broke the pleaser trait he held towards them.

This trait hid a part of his real self. It became a mask he wore around everyone on the first second of their met.

I think he studied the people he got to know and when he was sure and felt like he could open the gates of his true persona, he simply let go. We saw him doing that with the ones he felt comfortable with: jihyun, his therapist and yoonwon (though here, I felt like he was still holding back a little bit on some parts).

if you wanna add/say anything, agree, disagree or simply want to discuss anything about this or any other theory you might have, come on twitter

I’m excited to hear your opinions

[apriiciitty]

people of the internet,

a few months ago, we had a project in class where we had to design anything we wanted, which later on could be in position of presenting us as designer’s assistants.

there were no barriers, no specific rules, nothing. at the end, we simply had to have any kind of product which we had to introduce to the whole class, from the very first scratch to the the very last touch.

i knew that a wanted to create a book, whoever, it was not just the design that had to get done, i also needed an actual idea for the book itself.

I had various book-ideas that didn’t include literature writing, however none of them actually worked well.

THANKFULLY, at that time I was OBSESSED with weak hero class 1. I watched the show more than 4-5 times and because it was simple so good and I was so amazed, there a few details I noticed here and there etc etc so I wanted to write a review about it.

and then it clicked. the idea was there.

weak hero class 1 review (actual, genuine review)

+

book (+design ideas, design, writing, binding)

_____

UPDATE: here is a link to a pdf file where you can read the review:

(There is also a page of what I wrote for the review)

[apriiciitty]

underneath the covers (jihyun/jaewon)

jihyun could stare at him for hours and hours without getting bored, there was nothing that could make jihyun tired of him. jaewon was like a surprise, like a book with blooming pages, like a secret, a few could understand.

and jihyun was curious. jihyun was attracted to puzzles, to mysteries. he was attracted to things that were hard to understand and solve. and opposites attract. that's the rule of nature none can deny.

read ‘underneath the covers’ HERE

[apriiciitty]

I don’t really understand where we are heading with the eighth sense, to be honest. And I don’t mean that in a bad way.

I love the fact that the story it’s being unfold in such a way where you don’t really know what to expect next, so you are on the edge making assumptions and just patiently waiting for the episodes to come.

what makes me sad is that nothing is safe and sense we got introduced to the characters in various ways, I feel like we have created an emotional bond already and I simply don’t want anything and to happen to either jaewon or jihyun because they both don’t deserve to go through all of this.

i am just not prepared for anything else besides a happy ending.

also, to the people who support the ‘a happy ending wouldn’t fit the vibe of the series’

Kindly, shut the fuck up you sick piece of-

[apriiciitty]

I am ready for the most soul-sucking, intense ending of all times in the eighth sense.

from what I’ve seen so far, we don’t pay enough attention on the title of the series —> the eighth sense.

we are all familiar with the 7 common senses but there are also some more that are not as known, for different reasons, but according to google, this is the eighth sense:

Interoception is the sensory system that helps us assess internal feelings. And increasingly, it's being recognized as the 8th sense along with sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, balance and movement in space (vestibular sense) and body position and sensations in the muscles and joints (proprioceptive sense) .

I love the concept of emotional binding, I don’t know, it feels very comfortable and cozy to know that someone you like is able to reflect certain feelings from and for you and also the opposite.

so I’m overly excited about that upcoming episodes and the development of the story.

The eighth sense has us all by our necks. damn

we deserve a motherfucking happy ending. we’ll get it.

[apriiciitty]

I usually don’t go that far, but since the eighth sense has been living in my head rent-free these past few days, I created a playlist of songs that remind me of jaewon and jihyun.

because I am officially obsessed.

also quick note: sharing music is a bit strange to me, I have the feeling I let people get in my head/emotions? Idk. Hope you understand what I mean when I say these songs remind me of the two stupid fucks. I love them

twt: @o0rageade

[apriiciitty]

people of the internet,

the eighth sense has me hooked.

I literally didn’t even know what the hell it is with this bl but I feel so addicted to it.

it radiates so many common feelings and situations that seem to be familiar to todays youth. it’s so fresh, relaxing and comforting the way they portray so many common problems with which we can relate, I just love these specific details a lot.

mainly because I find my own self relating to certain points in an extrem level however, besides that, the whole series’s just so gripping?

you get sucked in it pretty quickly.

let’s talk a bit about jaewon and jihyun because I love their characters so much:

overall, I think we can all agree that both characters carry their own interesting personas right? they are very unique and carry their own stories and weight on their shoulders. they are both pretty commonly written, but also extremely extraordinary at the same time?

Jihyun seems to be a person who just goes with the flow. we saw how he directly got a job right when he moved in Seoul, he tries new things out, he’s ready to explore his environment and I believe he is willing to take chances. He seems to like quiet and peace, is very honest and curious.

I believe that, even though we are on episode 6 already, we still haven’t seen much of jihyun though. And that’s where jaewon jumps right into. I think that we will get to discover jihyun’s sides through jaewon.

as for jaewon,

well.

I think I could write pages and pages on his persona. jaewon’s character is a bit more developed because I think the series’s taking part on his point of view, current me if I’m wrong. That’s why i believe that he is the one who will unfold jihyun’s persona. His story is more detailed and -not so much but actually so much-complicated.

the fact that he wears a different mask on his daily routine in order to please everybody around him, makes me feel sick and tired, imagine being him. that’s just too much. besides that, today we came across his trauma which left many questions behind but also gave us a few answers for some specific points, mainly about jaewons behaviour.

and that’s how we stumble on jihyun again.

I believe that in this case, jihyun is the one to actually make jaewon feel like himself without having to be pretentious and pretty much fake.

both of them are like a puzzle, who only they can place together out of each other.

damn.

i don’t think that we will get a sad ending, that’s not really the vibe we get of the show. I am not very sure as to why the incident with jihyun took place, I guess this will be a break-point where jaewon will overthink their relationship and will have second thoughts? maybe because he wasn’t able to help jihyun when he was drowning and so he’ll feel like he is dangerous for jihyun OR he’ll actually save jihyun and maybe he will find peace within himself, for when he wasn’t able to help his little brother? idk

I am just mentally not ready for anything dramatical to be honest and neither are you.

twt: @o0rageade

[apriiciitty]

THE BALLAD OF NEVER AFTER

PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET,

I JUST FINISHED READING ‘The Ballad of Never After’ and it destroyed me.

i don’t exactly know what I want to say here but I know for fact that I want to BRAG a little but about this whole experience simply because I know this book will haunt me for days starting from today.

I think I’ll do a proper feedback on both books but for know I’d like to point out a few things that I loved in ‘The Ballad of Never After’ since I’m not able to get the book out of my head.

I think I can officially and proudly say that I’m a sucker for Stephanie Garber’s writing. I love the imaginations of the places she does, the way she explains feeling in such a metaphoric way, I don’t exactly know how to describe it but her writing feels pretty romantic(????) and nostalgic? Like idk but even thought I haven’t read the Caraval Series (yet??) I can say that whatever she brings out in the future (hopefully a 3rd book for ‘Once Upon A Broken Heart’ for example!!!) I’d read it…

now the plot was pretty nice. Now that I’m done reading and the story has come to ‘an end’ I can see that there were points where the ‘dragging’ was a bit present but I do believe that every book has such a point. I liked the story line and the passing.

and obviously, I did love the characters. All of them, even the villains, which surprised me a bit.

I loved the fact that Evangeline was holding tight own her hopes and her believes and she is just a strong character even though she went through hell in a gab of a few months. Her life fell apart in so many different ways but she didn’t let hate or disappointment take over her. Obviously there were moments where I just- but I liked her and her bubbly personality.

and then there’s Jacks.

I love him. Literally, with my whole heart, I love this character so much. I loved the fact that he stayed loyal to his words, I liked his manipulation which is not the best thing to support on a character however, he was cunning enough to get what he wanted every single time. Also, his way of speaking… THE KING OF IRONY… I literally sensed every feeling he radiated when speaking, he was ironic, pretty honest, bold and filthy. Damn. He was honest and determined. And he was so miserably and fucking deeply sad and hurt.

Like, his very own story is just so messed up to the point where I understand see how all his ‘bad habits’ make sense.

I really really really wish to see one more book where he gets a final happy ending.

Like honestly his entire story is so tragic, it’s pretty unfair.

As for apollo, I definitely don’t think that everything Jacks did to him was alright. He has been through quite a few things without his will, however, him coming to his senses and doing those things especially to Evangeline who was the one who actually wanted to fight for him in some senses, in order to fix everything was just wrong.

I suppose that was a sort of revenge but damn.

We didn’t got to see what happened to Jacks but I really hope for the best.

aaaaach there are so many more things to talk about, if you are looking for people to talk with about Once Upon A Broken Heart & The Ballad Of Never After come find me on Twitter @cypherthreee and let’s just cry together.

I’m done.

for today.

[apriiciitty]

my life at this moment is being controlled and oriented by the 1 book I started reading and the 3 others waiting on the tbr, the multiple bls I started watching, the kdramas I am currently watching, the movies waiting to be watched on my list, the music playlists I’ve created on Spotify, the new paintings I want to start drawing, the new hobbies i want to start, the new languages I want to learn and me dragging myself to college every single day.

i am doing fine, i swear

(just because sharing is caring:

k drama: alchemy of souls (fucking amazing)

book: the ballad of never after (the second book of the duology ‘once upon a broken heart’))

[apriiciitty]

The Binding

i started reading ‚The Binding‘ by Bridget Collins (for your information I’m at page 138 (the first proper meeting between Lucian and Emmett)) and so far I am in love.

I got in to the book completely blind, I know nothing about what’s going to happen, although I feel somehow anxious because I can see a sort of tragedy coming.

However the book is amazing so far. I love emmett, de Havilland is somehow getting on my nerves but I guess we’ll see

[apriiciitty]

[I STARTED READING THE SHADOW AND BONE TRIOLOGY JUST YESTERDAY BUT]:

I just spoiled myself pretty much everything about s&b.

And I’m only half way through the first book.