art-of-killing-softly

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the fact that commiting a murder isn't as simple as the books make it seem

is something I can't make my peace with

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When I asked for someone to love

I think I forgot to ask to be loved back

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The back side of the Notre-Dame de Reims Cathedral, France.

Photography artist: Marco van Leeuwen

⚜ Gothic month on @mynocturnality

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You lit a fire in me, so bright

You said you'd share it with me but you just warmed your hands and you left

And all I could do was look in the mirror and watch myself burn in what was once an essence of you

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Every night, I tell the moon about you

I tell the moon how beautiful you are

And now, even he wants to meet you to see who's eyes shine so bright that it pales him

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" rainy days fit her better "

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I don't think I have loved anyone as much as I love you

And it scares me

For you could tear my soul apart and scatter pieces of it in all my worst nightmares

You could take out the most vibrant parts of me and cover them with my own blood, thick and staining eternally

You could shatter my heart and use it's broken pieces to slit my throat and then choke me to death

And my dying words would still be,

" It was an honor to be killed my you"

-an extract from the book I'll never write #3 // Love is Pain

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Me: *takes psychology to understand self better and heal*

Also me: *realizes that I'm fucked up and have real disorders*

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Me: *wants to be loved and spoiled*

Also me: *pushes away everyone who tries to care because I'm a bad independent bitch*

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All I do everyday is have mugs full of coffee, read an unhealthy amount of poetry, day dream and complain how I have no time for anything ever

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I was dark, and tormented

And you, you were brighter than an angel

Together, we made the most beautiful of night skies, filled with the glow of a million stars

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All it look was for our eyes to meet once

And all that complicated poetry suddenly started making sense

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Despite being a writer, I will forever be in amusement of how people come up lyrics that shake you to the core

They keep you wondering that if they poured just a little bit of their soul in these words and they have the power to raise hell, what goes on inside them?

Like when Hozier wrote,"honey when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes, I feel like a person for a moment of my life" or when he wrote "I'll tell you my sins so can sharpen your knife, offer me that deathless death, oh good god let me give you my life"

Or when Lord Huron wrote "I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you, take me back to the night we met"

Or when Lorde wrote, "so I guess I'll go home to arms of the girl that I love, the only love I haven't screwed up, she's so hard to please but she's a forest fire, I do my best to meet her demands, play at romance, we slow dance in the living room, but all a stranger would see is one girl swaying alone, stroking her cheek"

Or when goo goo dolls wrote, "I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow, you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be"

Or when Lana del Rey sang, "If he's a serial killer, then what's the worst, that can happen to a girl who's already hurt"

Or when Billie eillish sang, "Heart made of glass, my mind of stone"

I haven't been the same person

And I can't pretend that I'm not shook to this day

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Love me, like certain things are ought to be loved between the shadows of heart and mind

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I loved you enough

To pray that you don't fall in love with me,

Because I know, I'm not what you need

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Experience is the name we give our mistakes

Oscar Wilde -The Picture of Dorian Gray

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Oh, to read poetry of youth

In a graveyard