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BELATED happy National Poetry Month!

“I Know Crips Live Here” by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

“Prayer for Werewolves” by Stephanie Burt

“Tin Busket” by Jenny George

“Give Ear to My Words (Psalm 5)” by Ernesto Cardenal

“Penelope / Odysseus” by Alex Peery Clark @two-bees-poetry

“Achilles / Patroclus” by LJ Moore

“First They Came for the Jews” by Pastor Niemöller

“Two-Headed Calf” by Laura Gilpin

“she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father.” by @inkskinned

“all this living is catching up to me” by @hauntedomens

“The Hymn of Patroclus” by Penelope L. P.

“The first lines of emails I’ve received while quarantining” by Jessica Salfia

“Song for Baby-O, Unborn” by Diane di Prima

“Question” by May Swenson

“Young People” by Richie Hofmann

“The Bronze Arms” by Richie Hofmann

“The Trans Agenda is to Keep My F*cking Friends Alive” by Sol Rios

“For a Student Who Used AI to Write a Paper” by Joseph Fasano

“The Boy Scout Pledge” by Michael Glatze

“How to Watch Your Brother Die” by Michael Lassell

“We Have Enough Dead Friends” by Lena Oleanderson @lena-oleanderson

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What if I can't do it?

What happens if the burden is too heavy, the burnout too exhausting, if the stone slips and rolls down the slope that I've been pushing it up for half a decade?

"You can do it," she says. "You are smart and capable and mine."

But she doesn't know the weight of it. Of how far there still is left to go. Of the rapid flit of the future, ever-changing and unknown, like the crest of a mountain revealing itself with only the next stride.

But what if I don't.

Love lies within the answer. That if the stone falls, I can fall with it - back into the arms of the one who held me first. Two truths coexist. She wants the world for me and expects that I will achieve it. My achievements will never determine my value to her. Her words, her assurances, her love reminds me; she'd sooner have a dropout for a daughter than a dead one.

So I rest, adjust the burden, and take another step up that mountain.

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it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.

i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.

the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.

they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?

but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.

so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.

the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.

the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."

the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.

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"I am a mosaic of everyone that I've ever loved, even for just a heartbeat" - @viridianmasquerade

I came across a LOTR self insert crackfic today, the funniest thing I've read for a while, and I was about to share it with a friend when I remembered. I haven't spoken to that friend in years. We live in different cities and live different lives. I dont even know if he's married or not. But he was the friend who liked Lord of the Rings, so we would send each other memes. I was a little in love with him once, and so I watched attack on titan, beacuse it was his favourite, and now I like anime so I watch it with my brother, who introduced me to spyxfamily which we watch together with my mum whenever we're all home. I read webtoons because my friend loved one, I gave harry styles a chance because I had a flatmate who was in love with him, I say shawarma properly because my friend taught me how - I also haven't seen that friend in years.

Sometimes I don't know where I finish and they begin, do I even have my own interests? Do I like physics because my favourite teacher taught physics and I was nothing if not the teacher's pet? Who would I have been if that love hadn't leaked into my degree and my profession? And so the heartbreak that I no longer know some of the people who have shaped my life into the richness that it is swells and occasionally overflows.

But I have no choice but to love the mosaic; the evidence of all the little loves I've carried, the people I imitate, the characters I adore. I wish we were forever. I wish I could hold all of you tight to me, that I could send that fic to you and we could laugh together like no time has passed.

Our lives intersect and twin and diverge. Who knows if we'll meet again. I still love you. You added so much to my life, and I hope I added something to yours.

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i have spent a few days listening to the music you like. you have a tattoo of the band's logo on your ribs. you got it when you were still kind of a kid. my first tattoo was a bird instead. i did the math - we got our first tattoos in the same calendar year. isn't that kind of cool.

my mom loves hallmark movies, so i grew up thinking love would look like a firework. it feels like one, after all. it's just that my house wasn't safe. i thought love was a weapon, could be pointed at your eyes. could lose a finger to it, or teeth. my father used to say passion is everything. i thought that meant constant fighting was a good thing. i thought that meant love looked like a week of bickering, because it was worth the the weekend's boombox apology. i thought quiet love was boring. i thought love had to blot out everything, compel the body and the mind like puppetry. i thought love looks like ruining your own dinner table - but at least you set a feast.

but love looks like a scarf. your hands smoothing it down my chest, being sure each of the edges are tucked in, worried about my asthma attacks being cold-activated. i race you while i'm wearing heels, you hold my hand to guide me downhill while walking my dog. we dance in my living room to waltz of the flowers, i show you how to hold your arms in proper ballet port de bras. you write a song about looking out of my window while the snow falls. i ask you to text my friends back while i'm driving. you play dj in the front seat. somewhere on route 93, we start murmuring about secret things.

oh. there is a difference between peace and dispassion. it was never that i feared quiet, it's that i didn't know what safe felt like. i liked the chaos because it was familiar, not because it was kind. i think i used to fear the word wife. i didn't like the idea of long, lonely days and being yelled at for small things. i didn't like the idea of sacrificing my one beautiful life.

you meet my friends and make a point to learn things about them. we both get excited about the other person's passions. you read my book for hours, squinting at the small words. i try to understand basic guitar information. we talk for four hours on the phone while i string together a garland. we talk for six hours while you write a poem. i save a pintrest tip for the summer about making paper kites. i plan us a week-long trip to maine, map out my favorite places for an eventual hike. you fall asleep on the ride home, and i turn down the radio so it won't wake you up. your quiet hands fold over mine.

when i look up, the stars are brighter. how carefully you've woven gold into the corners of my life. when i move, i feel some part of my soul reflected back onto you.

oh, love is not a net. it's a blanket.

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renfield the original spiders georg

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Source 

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Hamilton is just... like Lin Manuel Miranda is awesome, but he never sold me on the uber charming side of Hamilton, and then I stumbled upon one of the few surviving letters of Hamilton to Eliza, and I feel like everyone has a right to realise they would 100% fall for Hamilton even if the real man maybe did wear one of those terrible white curly wigs

Back in the day of 1780

I have told you, and I told you truly that I love you too much. You engross my thoughts too intirely to allow me to think of any thing else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness. ‘Tis a pretty story indeed that I am to be thus monopolized, by a little nut-brown maid like you—and from a statesman and a soldier metamorphosed into a puny lover. I believe in my soul you are an inchantress; but I have tried in vain, if not to break, at least, to weaken the charm—you maintain your empire in spite of all my efforts—and after every new one, I make to withdraw myself from my allegiance my partial heart still returns and clings to you with increased attachment. To drop figure my lovely girl you become dearer to me every moment. I am more and more unhappy and impatient under the hard necessity that keeps me from you, and yet the prospect lengthens as I advance...

And that's just the first paragraph, before he goes on to get progressively more um... ardent... about his love for her and whether or not she'd like him in uniform for their first night

And after you've searched for and found that whole letter to read for yourself, go ahead and read his final letter to her, where he really does call her "best of wives, best of Women" and cry with me

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Sometimes I'm just struck by the idea that people are really out here, super talented and creative

And I'm just... wow

I changed the jewels just for fun (the snakes are painfully asymmetrical, forgive me).

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The weirdest thing of 2021 is my very first fandom realising its final book (H.I.V.E. 9 Bloodline coming out?!?!?) I've been catapulted back to my 12 year old self, and I love it, but like soo much has changed since then. Also, does anyone else miss the H.I.V.E. fandom???? I was sooo sad when the website shut down and I acc miss the fandom and reading the fanfics there😭😂

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NOT REALLY LOKI SPOILERS BUT

I dont necessarily ship Loki and Sylvie, but I dont know why so many people are against it? I mean, sure they are alternate versions of themselves, but that's not siblings. Siblings are off limits because they're family, and your relationship with family is and should be so different to romantic interest. But to see a version of yourself and to think you deserve love, to love them... sure it feels narcissistic but its also so self-accepting. Many people call loki narcissistic but he's actually so far from it. Like in the very first episode, he recognises his "illusion". He doesn't like himself and doesn't think he's worthy of love or others attention.

Why would it be so bad if for the first time he fell a little in love with himself

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Me watching Loki Me watching Loki in

in Thor(2011) Loki series (2021).

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Sometimes I recommend a book I love that's not really well known to an irl friend, and then I getting progressively anxious that I've bared my soul to them and they won't like it. Anyone else?

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There needs to be a word for the feeling when you finish a book or a series and resurface into reality. Right now there are tears drying on my face and I'm sniffing hard bc I'm happy that the ending was beautiful, sad because its over, and yearning for a fantasy that isn't mine. Im empty and desperate and glad and reality doesn't feel like it fits me.

Somebody help me find that word

Or drop a like to let me know I'm not alone being a maladjusted weirdo xD

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You ever finish reading a book and then fully intend to adopt a character into your personality????

For example:

I actually tried jumping from one tree to another at the age of 12 after reading the hunger games and loving rue (I might have dropped out of the tree but I did rock an afro for a solid week after seeing the film)

I attempted to make all my movements "deliberate and purposeful" after reading the scorpio races and falling in love with Sean - that lasted my i-think-you-already-know-it clumsy self all of 30 mins

I'm still trying to embody the sweetness that is Angela from twilight, and since giving midnight sun a go twice and still not finishing it I have been determined to Never be as wordy (one might say verbose another might say annoying af) as Edward

I love the idea that I'm a mosaic of my favourite people, fictional and not (mostly fictional). They don't all stick and I might still drop out of trees, but it's all in the name of self improvement

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When we're babies, some of our parents teach us to self-soothe. They hear us cry at night, and it scrapes at their heart, but they let us cry it out, settle for ourselves and learn to sleep through the night.

My parents did that for me, and eventually I slept.

But now I watch movies - beautiful movies - and I read books - beautiful books - and my heart clenches and my eyes fill because I feel so Unbeautiful. I'm lonely, and I don't want to be. I'm scared that no one will love me, desire me in the way that I see everywhere else around me. Could someone ever look at me, all of me, and say I love you?

I feel so alone.

And I cry, alone, in my bed and let the pillow wipe away my tears. I listen to music with no words, because anything else is a bit too painful. I scream into the void, my nameless nothing, because to talk about it to my friends would only worry them or encourage them to say soft platitudes that feel empty to me because what else could my friends ever say? So I listen and I type and my tears dry and the raw anguish dulls but doesn't dissappear until I fold into the shallow embrace of sleep. Only to repeat in a week, a month.

And I worry that maybe I'll always have to self-soothe, but I'm not nearly good enough at it.

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I'm watching fruits basket season 2 for the first time and Cinderella-ish is all i could have wanted and More😍😍😍 Kyo and Tohru are my OG ship and I love themmm

I love tohru because she's who I want to be, I want to be kind and loving, I want to make people feel safe I want to bring happiness to my friends I want it so much it hurts