I have found people in my life that I never want to lose again. But so often it feels like I could lose them at any second. It tears me apart.
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drawing with random people on whiteboard. uhhh youre probably gonna scroll down but incase you wanna join the link is in the comments
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I’m tired of being someone who people doesn’t like.
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today... genuinely... is going to be the hardest emotional day I've had in a very very long time and idk how equipped I am to deal with it
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Listen/purchase: I Don't Wan't To Be Alone by Chris Browne BrowneProject
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I hate being me
Why does everyone else get to be cool pretty amazing thin
Why do they get to go on fun adventure and have close friends boyfriends and girlfriends
And then I just have to be me
And I don’t have any other choice but to be me
And I can’t do anything about it
People just tell me to get over it because that’s just how it is
But I just can’t see how that’s fair
Why did I get stuck being me?
What did I do?
I mean how can I fix the mess if the mess is just me
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not to be fatalistic or anything but im so utterly fucking terrified of ending up alone
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They are all leaving.
I won't matter if I go too, right?
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from Beast with Flowers
my packs
my threads
recommend/ask me something
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(warning, near panic attack vent post)
i will spare you the details but my lil borther is moving out tomorrow and now its all crashing down on me, been in denial too long, i dont want to be alone here with my 60+ year old parents with health issues, i can barely take care of myself, how am i supposed to take care of them
i have like 1-2 online friends that live oversea, most of my immediate family i have barely contact with and i dont do well with them either, hes the only one i know that isnt exhausting to be around, and understands me .. and is queer
i feel like im losing my only support, the only anchor i had in life
ever since he got his current bf we have been drifiting apart too despite him still living here atm
im so afraid of everything, of being alone and forgotten, what if sth happens to my parents and i dont notice it in this big house
i dont want him to leave
i hate everything, im afraid of everything
im never gonna find anyone i can trust that would want to live here with me
i dont want any of this
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