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ORIGIN

A mind twisted

by an overwhelming amount of pain

A heart abandoned and desolated

This is how monsters are created

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BITTERSWEET

And all of a sudden

I’m stuck in this space again

The perfect suit, seeded in forbidden fruit

Love it, hate it…delightfully frustrated

Wicked thoughts I’m scheming

My insides screaming

All the while, I’m like a child

doing California dreaming…

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STARVATION

I’m aware I may be coming

a victim to my drugs

but I don’t care

How else am I to survive 

no kisses no hugs

Being severely deprived with no love

skin frustrated completely out of touch

but at ease with provocative body rubs

so I indulge my vessel

infrared late night Asian specials

But please don’t judge

I’m saying, at the end of the day

I’m only human

but when the moon gets high

I’m something you can’t understand

Wrestling devils and suicidal thoughts

Yes I have several, but I was taught 

that’s the road to hell

But shit I’m already burning alive 

so I may as well try a spell

a change of fashion

I dwell with the insatiable flame of passion

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BEAUTY MARKS

Spirit sheds in tears

but is never torn away

And even angels grow horns

when halos become inverted

and broken in half

Immaculate imperfections

well-spoken tokens of afflictions past

Like a rose flourishes with thorns

but still has beauty that forever lasts...

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WILDING

I desire for you to be free

and I appreciate you

partaking a portion of your heart with me

Love isn’t possessive

Commitment is by choice

not by force

It isn’t a duty or condition with strings

Making a conscious decision

to be devoted to one another

is such a beautiful thing...

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DISPATCH

I want to disappear [STOP] I’m contemplating consequences for capricious decisions while building defenses to prevent muthafuckas who like to interfere [STOP] I’m abandoning all hope of a wholesome mind [STOP] I’m leaving every thing I learned to value safe behind [STOP] I’m feeling rejected still on my own [STOP] But shit [STOP] I’m destined to walk alone to align [STOP] So you bastards be sure to stay far behind the line [STOP] Don’t ask me how I’m doing [STOP] I’m doing fine [STOP] I’m feeling well [STOP] In reality I’m suffering but you didn’t ask out of concern or care [STOP] You asked because it’s customary courtesy [STOP] So go to hell [STOP] If I had a buck for every fuck people didn’t give [STOP] then I would have enough to bribe and change my circumstances to live [STOP] But I’m out of luck [STOP] So I may as well take my chances with the Devil and his advances [STOP] Besides [STOP] He may not enslave me [STOP] It’s a possibility he wants to save me [STOP] like in the beginning with the fruit that was forbidden on the tree

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FOR NEVERMORE

I should thank you for the experience,

but non verbally

because swinging swords with you

always led to bleeding and more surgery

We cut and dived too deep

and although we separated for goodness sake

I’m scarred

so you’re a permanent part of me

and I don’t regret it,

even though the pain from your poison

nearly drove me insane,

but that’s because I let it in

I love you

I meant that when I said it then and still do,

but if you try getting close to me again,

I won’t hesitate to kill you

You was the highlight in my life

Now excitement is what I lack

But I will never forget feeling your dagger

embedded in my back

It pierced my heart

Yeah that's the part I don’t miss

Although I know you know

I’m a sadomasochist

My spirit is so fragile

that I can’t risk suffering a whole lot of pain

for a minuscule bit of bliss...

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MOUNTAIN LIONESS

I fear that once discovered,

your finish may be diminished orgone

A prodigy detected 

becomes dissected then exploited

like precious stone

And your sparkle is so bizarre

you eclipse the star diamond

from Sierra Leone...

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Know What I Mean?

I need an emoji to reflect that fleeting sensation

of nostalgia tainted by an enlightened reflection

upon the inaccuracy of emotional recollection as

linked to specific individuals and their position

in my hierarchy of my egocentric life-narrative.

Send all submissions to: Me@myself.I

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If I Had A

If I had a

flower

that liked the things I do-

we would write

poems

about each other

and be too shy to share them.

We’d have similar

taste

in books that we like and laugh

at all the same quotes.

I would

leave messages in between her

favourite pages

that I’d think about all day

and I would tell all

of the other flowers

just how beautiful I think she is.

If I had a flower

that liked to read me,

we would be

married

before she reaches

the end of the book.

JP

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“i wasn’t looking for anything before i met you. but then you came like autumn, and i fell like leaves do.”

- asta

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Astrology Musings

ARIES: I am the candle that brights up the room, soft & warm;  Quit playing with this fire coz I’ll leave you harmed. I say I don’t care yet all I do is to care, a little too much. Is this a blessing or a curse?

TAURUS: I don’t talk, I show; I don’t promise, I prove; I don’t like to rush things because I like it slow. I always take decisions but is it always right & true?

GEMINI: I’m always lost in this pile of details that I forget the bigger picture; Everything I touch is colored and beautiful yet the inside is a dark, void soul. There’s a duality within me that I never really show.

CANCER: I feel everything at once or I feel nothing at all. My moods alter like the phases of the moon; All I want to do is to listen to my head and not my damn heart.

LEO: Yes, I am proud; Yes, I like compliments; Yes, I deserve respect and I know my self worth; Yes, I am loyal, warm and kind. Yes, I give my everything and I expect nothing in return.

VIRGO: My mind is never quiet. Feeding on facts forever, yet unquenchable. Overthinking, Over analysing and pacing a million thoughts in my brain, but all you see is stillness.

LIBRA: Constantly trying to balance my yin and yang, nothing frustrates me more than the people who are forcing me to make my own mind.

SCORPIO: I imbibe everything and never let it go. Etched forever in my bones, I never let it cure.I crave for novelty but still I’m stuck in the past.

SAGITTARIUS: Seeking for truths in my journey of life. Looking at the bigger picture, I miss the small things in life. I hide my feelings so well with my humor and delight.

CAPRICORN: I’m hard on myself but I never let them know; I’m on a roller coaster of emotions and I never let them drown me. Those solitary times and hardships, I’ve thrived; Not scared of the monsters anymore, coz I’ve metamorphosed into one.

AQUARIUS: Stuck in this body, where the head’s revolting against my heart; I think what I feel, I feel what I think. I continually seem left out because these mortals never really get me.

PISCES: Everything is so fluid; Pulling and pushing away my fears and woes like waves. Not everything is as rose-colored as I dreamed and I’m frantically trying to escape; Wake me up when it’s over.

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CURTAIN ADVANCE

I feel like diving right off into the deep in

Invisible no body miss or hear me weepin'

"Hey baby are you dead, or just sleepin'?

Drowning dreams engulfed in sins

and some imaginary friends

piano keys and violins for safekeeping

Happiness becomes shortsighted

when getting too excited

disappointment come uninvited

forever creeping

What is suicide today

may be tomorrow's sweet grave getaway

No sorrows left

I just need to borrow death for this weekend...