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High School Cockblock

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Katniss: You will save the people who have had to fight for their lives and are now being tortured by an evil government overlord or you will find another person to lead the rebellion against said evil government overlord.

Also Katniss: And my sister gets to keep her cat.

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Katniss Everdeen: Peeta's been captured, so while he's gone I'm gonna violently antagonize the capitol on national television.

Finnick Odair: Why?

Katniss Everdeen: He's pretty much 85% of my impulse control.

THE THING IS JOSH IS JENNIFER'S IMPULSE CONTROL TOO

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Peeta Mellark: I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Katniss a little bit.

Haymitch Abernathy: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Peeta Mellark: No, that's our joint tombstone.

Haymitch Abernathy: My mistake.

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President Alma Coin’s Logic

President Coin: People are too distraught and emotionally unstable to make an important decision, so I guess I’ll just be president.

Also President Coin: Even though you just watched your sister die, I think you are emotionally stable enough to decide if we should murder a bunch of children.

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How to bring a little bit of positivity in your life if you are feeling particularly depressed.

I know that saying “its all in your head” or “just try and be happy” is a completely useless thing to say to people with depression, anxiety, or people with mental illness. So here is my advice to you. If you ever encounter something or someone that gives you a little bit of joy, happiness, or laughter inside of you, write it down. Write down the exact feeling you had, and whatever made you smile. Even if it was just a commercial that made you laugh, or a little kid that made you smile, write it down and write down exactly how you felt when it happened. Keep it in a journal. The journal will eventually fill up, and whenever you are feeling particularly sad, just read through the journal and it will help you see that there is still light in you life and in the world. It can help you relive that feeling, and will show you how many times you have been happy. It will let you know that no darkness lasts forever, and that you can always find a way to be happy. Even if it feels like the end of the world, it isn’t. You can get through this, one laugh or smile or happy feeling at a time. 

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me for everything

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tumblr shower thoughts: witty, articulated, thought provoking. 

actual thoughts i have had in the shower: WHAT IF I MADE A SANDWICH THAT CAN BE USED AS A LOUFA SO I CAN EAT IN THE SHOWER!!!! WHAT IF I’M ACTUALLY AN ALMOND HAVING A DREAM?????? OH MY GOD IM GOING TO FALL MAYBE IF I GRAB THE WATER IT WILL HOLD ME UP OH THAT DIDN’T WORK ILL GRAB THE CONDITIONER TO GET ME UP OH THAT DIDN’T WORK ILL TRY THE SHAMPOO. MMMM WATCHA SAY. OH NO NOW THE SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER GOT ON THE FLOOR AND NOW ITS SLIPPERY THATS OKAY LOOK I CAN GET UP WITH NO HANDS. CRASH MM WATCH SAY.

Life is free to play, but pay to win.

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what about a pizza fresh out of the oven. that shit can burn ur mouth. but it is also beautiful

There’s no shit hotter than when a girl grabs your face and kisses you with fierce intensity, her tongue touching your own, creating a storm in your stomach.

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me: nothing can stop me!

things: 

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MCDONALDS 👏 EMPLOYEES 👏 SAVE 👏 LIVES

People look down on McDonald’s employees but fail to realize that if all these folks left McDonald’s and pursued “better careers”  your ass wouldn’t be able to get a McDouble with an Oreo McFlurry at 3am. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

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Child: What’s a VHS?

Me:

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P A T R I O T I C

TODAYS MOOD

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i think it’s time

toxic 📢 friendships 📢 are 📢 just 📢 as 📢 traumatizing 📢 as 📢  relationships 📢📢📢

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why why WHY do though and through not rhyme but BOLOGNA and PONY rhyme

The way bologna is spelt is a bunch of bullshit.

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his life is a lie

Nothing is on fire . Fire is on things.