audsomeartist

[audsomeartist]

the big three: big brown eyes, an indescribable amount of horniness and a generalised anxiety disorder

[audsomeartist]

Me every chapter of anthesis by @beskars JUST IN CASE

a good sailor will always return to the sea

[audsomeartist]

“I hate obvious symbolism” bro shut up sun and moon couples are a pillar of our society

[audsomeartist]

Oh you have bad luck? Have you ever had someone tell you that they don’t want to see you anymore while you are at you’re job (nanny btw), start sobbing (while taking care of a baby btw), then, an hour later, your UNCLE calls you asking about the next time you are going on a date with him bc him, your aunt, and your mom were just talking about it?

[audsomeartist]

I have one favorite ship

[audsomeartist]

anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

[audsomeartist]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[audsomeartist]

Double team me!!! PLEASE

sun and moon duo

[audsomeartist]

❨･¨⬮

esnupi

[audsomeartist]

I got them both pregnant (please also note I am canonically taller than both of these twinks in real life)

[audsomeartist]

Saying this right fucking now.

I don’t want to see ANY of you touching that fuckass new Harry Potter series.

That woman has set us back YEARS. YEARS. And whose money is she using to do it? People who continually support her and her sorry excuse for a book series.

If you simply must watch it? Pirate. It’s not hard.

Do not give her money. Do not give her a platform. Do not contribute. Please.

[audsomeartist]

They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.

[audsomeartist]

Favorite mutual didn't like my post. Deleting it and then killing myself.

[audsomeartist]

look at my fucking lawyers dawggg im going to another world 😫😭💀

also costarring the lovely @spencerwan

[audsomeartist]

Audsome Artist (Gone woke???) Happy Pride y’all!

[audsomeartist]

huge shout out to this little kid for writing my favorite poem

[audsomeartist]

this weekend!!!! hope some of yall tune in!!! :3