autumn-girly

[autumn-girly]

I don’t think I’m lovable

[autumn-girly]

Idk why but today i feel sad

[autumn-girly]

I’m so fucking sick and tired of people telling me how to fucking cope WITH MY OWN TRAUMA.

Telling me anxiety medicine might be a good idea for me, after seeing me have one anxiety attack is honestly not the way to go. Speaking about how she’s worried about me, and find this whole situation so troublesome, as if this is the worst I’ve had it in the last 5 years? Please.

The only reason she’s aware im struggeling a little bit is because we live together.

I’m so sick and tired of this. I need my own place, I fucking cant stand this

[autumn-girly]

he seriously had a new girl 3 months after we split - so much for “i need to heal” huh?

4,5 years - 2 of which i fought tooth and nail for getting us to work out.

*cue loose you to love me*

[autumn-girly]

Another night another dream about Vernon - it’s the third day in a row, I swear to god he’s taking over my mind

[autumn-girly]

I feel a little happier today

[autumn-girly]

my head has been complete and utter chaos these days. Over thinking and self loathing and all of that. something have to change, so I’m cutting out drinking for the remainder of this month as a start, might even continue it in match tbh

[autumn-girly]

had a good talk with my sister today about our living situation - she has a lot on her plate, but god I know I shouldn’t wish for it but to be able to actually buy an apartment would just be so so grand instead of renting

[autumn-girly]

I’m so confused as what went wrong with one of my samples at work today - like shit isnt adding up but I’m lowkey excited to find out where the problem is and how to avoid it in the future

[autumn-girly]

lol I cried today - it’s been awhile

[autumn-girly]

I’m so scared no one will ever love me again

[autumn-girly]

I’ve been eating well the last two days - and I really wanna keep it up until friday! I feel like my pants are getting even bigger and that my arms have lost some as well - def going in the right direction, so I’m very proud 🫶🏼

[autumn-girly]

I dont really feel like I’ve been eating that well these days - but I somehow think I’ve lost some weight none the less? Maybe it’s the good sleep, and listening to myself? Then again I only eat junk like once a week. Even though the snacking have been taking over this week 😅

Anyway I’ll do better in the upcomming week

[autumn-girly]

I miss being loved so much, i miss loving someone. I miss the beating of my little heart when I see my crush, or the quickening of my puls, the butterflies in my stomache when it’s time to confess.

But most of all I’m scared, I’m so scared that I will never experience this ever again. That my chance for love have come and gone

[autumn-girly]

Literally just had a convo with a masc that told me it would be very wierd for her to hang out with three girls since all we do is “girl things” - I’m currently living at my sisters with her and my niece - these girl things is apperently doing nails and make up. I dont really understand if she thinks that’s all femmes do? None the less it’s a unmatch

[autumn-girly]

I cant belive I just had a dream, where I didnt know if I were to choose between a man that has continued to let me down, or Lee fucking Chan. My subconscious better start behaving because IRL there would be no question

[autumn-girly]

I’ve spent too much money this weekend - seriously need to stop ordering food