avengers-x-reader - Tumblr blog

[avengers-x-reader]

admittance

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

description: bucky has been having nightmares recently. all you want to do is help him, but it’s hard when he denies the fact that he’s having these nightmares in the first place. 

word count: 1.8k

warnings: brief language, mentions of nightmares & violence, some angst i guess??

a/n: this is set before the events of TFATWS - bucky is speaking to a therapist, but the events with the flag smashers and all that jazz have not yet occurred. 

Does he really think I don’t know what he’s doing? you think to yourself as you make your way through the apartment you shared with Bucky. The clock on the oven shows a bright green “3:28am,” and you sigh with the realization of how little sleep you’d been getting recently. You know that Bucky’s been getting even less sleep, though, and the thought makes your heart clench in pity. 

Well, maybe pity isn’t the right word. Pity gives a connotation of weakness and sorrow on behalf of the weak. You knew for a fact that Bucky Barnes was not weak. After everything he’s gone through in his life, and after everything he’s done to try and make amends with the people he’s hurt, you considered him to be the strongest person you’ve ever met. However, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of sadness and compassion over your boyfriend’s struggle to sleep as he forced himself to come face-to-face with the acts of violence he’d committed in his past. 

For the past few weeks, Bucky had been transitioning to sleeping on the living room floor whenever he was kept awake due to nightmares. He never flat-out admitted that nightmares were the cause of his sleepless nights, but after putting together the puzzle pieces of his sweat-soaked sheets, his tossing and turning, and his reluctance to talk about why he’d been sneaking out of your room most nights, you were able to figure it out for yourself. 

You pass the island in the kitchen and smile sadly when you see Bucky sleeping, curled up on floor just as you’d suspected he’d be. At least he’s getting some sleep, you think, but this relief is short-lived and it disappears when he begins to thrash around. 

“Honey?” you call out softly, not wanting to startle him awake. You know that Bucky is a bit disoriented when he first wakes up, especially after he’s had a nightmare, and you don’t want to make his transition to the real world any more jarring than it had to be for him. 

Your soft voice did nothing to wake him up or stop his thrashing, so you bend down to his level and try again. “Bucky, babe, please wake up.”

Your hand resting gently on his shoulder is what eventually does the trick. His eyes open harshly, and he sits up as he attempts to gasp for breath. 

“There you are,” you whisper with a smile, but tears start to build in your eyes as you think of how much pain Bucky must be in. He’s still trying to catch his breath as he looks frantically around the room before settling his gaze on you. 

“I’m sorry, doll,” he whispers, rubbing his eyes. “Did I wake you?”

You choose your words carefully. He didn’t know that you knew about his nightmares, and you didn’t want to ask him about them if he wasn’t ready to talk about them. “Not at all. I got thirsty and came out for a drink, and wanted to know what you were doing on the floor all by yourself.” 

Bucky gives a short, unamused laugh and shakes his head before replying, “I just couldn’t sleep.” 

“Got it,” you nod. Your hand has been rubbing slow circles on his back in an attempt to slow down his breathing, and slowly but surely, his breaths have been calming down as you sat next to each other. “You’ve been sleeping out here a lot recently,” you continue softly. 

“Well what do you want me to do about that?” he asks louder than you’d been talking before. He pushes himself to his feet and begins pacing the room. “I come out here so that I don’t wake you up and you’re mad. If I stayed in our room and kept you awake with me, I’m sure you’d be mad then, too. So what would you like for me to do?”

You didn’t reply for a good minute or so. You stare at him for a while, trying to figure out where this sudden outburst was coming from. You didn’t take it personally, but you still didn’t appreciate him lashing out on you when you were just trying to understand what was going on in his head. Finally, you reply, “I just want to be there for you.” This causes Bucky to stop his pacing and stare at you, but you continue, “I know you’ve been having nightmares, and I know you’re trying to keep me in the dark about them, but I don’t know why.”

“I-I’m not-” Bucky tries to interrupt, but you cut him off. “Yes, you are. I can tell. Now you don’t have to talk to me about them if you don’t want to, and you don’t even have to come back to our room to sleep at night if being with me is causing more of an issue, but don’t sit here and lie to my face about something as obvious as this. It’s insulting.” 

You recognize that you’re being a bit harsh, but you wanted to get through to Bucky that you know about his nightmares, and you want to help him through them as much as you could - however you could. 

Bucky walks towards where you’re still sitting on the floor and holds his hands out as an invitation to help you stand. You accept, grunting a bit as you’re pulled swiftly to your feet. He says nothing as he keeps your hand in his and leads the two of you back to the bedroom. Your confusion must be showing on your face, because he looks back at you and says softly, “It’s not you that’s the issue.” 

“Then what is?” you ask, still allowing Bucky to lead you to the bed. The two of you lay down under the covers as you await his response. “James,” you continue with a just-as-quiet, but sterner tone of voice. 

Bucky bites his lip and looks away with a sad smile. “It’s me,” he says simply. “I’m the issue,” he carries on before you can ask any questions. 

“That’s the biggest pile of bull shit I’ve heard in my entire life,” you scoff, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend’s body. He usually feels so much bigger than you, but in this moment, he may as well be half your size. He folds in on himself, and you can tell from the way his shoulders are shaking that he’s crying. 

“I’m trying to make amends,” he begins to explain through his tears. “I’m trying to act better, do better, be a better person, but it’s so hard when I’m reminded over and over again about how fucked up I used to be.” 

“You’re doing your best,” you try to comfort him, but this seems to just make things worse as he turns away from you and shakes his head. 

“Then I must be a pretty terrible person,” Bucky says dryly, “because apparently even my best isn’t good enough.”

Your heart sinks. Did someone tell him he wasn’t good enough? You know he’s been working with Dr. Raynor on making amends...she’s always seemed a bit harsh, from what Bucky’s told you about her. Did she say something about him not trying hard enough?

“Who told you that?” you finally ask. 

“Nobody had to tell me. I just know,” he replies, keeping his back turned away from you. 

You consider how you should respond for a few minutes. You don’t want to let him sit in this self-deprecating mindset, but you also know that you won’t be able to convince him otherwise when he’s so convinced already that he’s not doing enough to make amends. Finally, you say, “Bucky, look at me.”

He makes no effort to turn around and face you, so you say, “James Buchanan Barnes, turn your handsome face around and look at me.” He eventually complies and his lips are turned slightly upward into a smile, but his eyes are still glossy. “You can’t fix everything all at once,” you go on to say. “I know you want to be able to, and I know it’s hard knowing how many amends you need to make and the mental energy it takes to make these amends, but you have to stop putting so much pressure on yourself.”

“But if I don’t put this pressure on myself, I may never get it all done,” Bucky argues, squeezing his eyes shut and keeping them closed for a few moments. “You don’t know what it’s like.”

Your heart clenches, and you sigh heavily. “You’re right,” you admit. “I don’t know what it’s like. But that’s why I want you to talk to me about how you’re feeling, and admit when you need help, because otherwise I’m in the dark here. And you know I’m scared of the dark,” you smile sadly. 

Bucky doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, but when he finally does, it says it with the clearest tone you’ve heard from him all night. “I love you so much.”

Aaaaand here come the waterworks, you think to yourself. “Oh honey, I love you too,” you reply, holding him tightly so that he couldn’t see the way tears had immediately sprung into your eyes. “I just want to help. I’m sorry if I’m being pushy or invasive, I just don’t want you suffering alone with these nightmares and this pressure of being ‘good enough’.”

“I know,” Bucky says. “You’re not being invasive...you’re being a good girlfriend and a good person. That’s part of what I love about you so much - your selflessness and your intense need to just...help people.”

You nod into his chest, hoping your tears weren’t dampening his bare skin. “Just let me know how I can help you. I’ll do anything.”

Bucky thinks on this for a moment before saying, “You’re right, ya’ know...about the nightmares. That’s what’s been keeping me awake these past few weeks...and I know that you know you’re right, I just feel like I have to admit it to you so that I can try and move on from them myself.” 

You pull away from his chest, not caring anymore if he could see you crying. He knows you well enough at this point to probably assume you were crying, anyways. “Whatever you need to admit out loud...whatever you need to talk about. I’m here,” you assert with a strong voice. “I’m here,” you repeat quieter, moving your hand up to cup his cheek. 

“You’re here,” Bucky whispers with a smile, nuzzling into your palm. His eyes flutter shut, and you hope he’s attempting to get some more sleep. 

You aren’t naive enough to think that you can get rid of Bucky’s nightmares, but you and him both know that you’ll be there to talk them through with him when they occur next time - whenever that may be.  

thank you for reading - i hope you enjoyed!! requests are open and welcome :)

[avengers-x-reader]

updates/explanations

hey everyone! as promised, here’s a bit of an update as to what this blog will look like going forward:

i (again) feel the need to apologize for my extremely extended absence (almost 3 years!). i don’t have a great explanation for what happened/why i was gone for so long...i started college and a lot of my attention was drawn there and to my job.

i’m now finishing up my junior year of college and will be starting my senior year in the fall, so i can’t promise how active i’ll be on this blog. i’ll be doing my best to post things semi-regularly, though. but speaking of posting:

i currently have over 700 asks/requests in my inbox, so i will be deleting these and starting fresh. it’s very overwhelming for me to see that number, and it would take me quite literally forever to make my way through every single request, so deleting everything seems like the best option for me. i apologize if anyone has submitted a request that they haven’t seen yet, but feel free to re-submit it and it’ll be much more likely for me to see it since i won’t be wading through 700 messages!

if anyone has any questions about me or my life or this blog that i have not addressed, feel free to submit those, too. i’m trying to get back into this blog as much as possible, and i appreciate those of you who are still here/those of you who are just joining me!

have a good day, everyone :)

-becca

[avengers-x-reader]

put a ring on it

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

description: bucky is acting...weird with you. more distant, less affectionate, and definitely not normal. but why? 

word count: 2.1k

warnings: language, some angst if you squint, mention of a spoiler for episode 6 of TFATWS 

a/n: ....i’m back??? i know i know i know it’s LITERALLY been almost 3 years since i’ve last posted an imagine...after i finish writing this i’ll be posting a quick update post, but just know i’m back in some form/fashion! thanks to everyone who’s still here!

“Bucky?” you call out, closing the front door to your shared apartment. You just got done shopping for groceries, and you set your bags down on the kitchen counter before realizing that you still haven’t gotten a response from your boyfriend. 

“James?” you try this time, thinking maybe he didn’t hear you before. “You here?” A lack of response for the second time makes you frown and pull your phone out of your pocket. Maybe he went somewhere and texted me about it, you think, but there weren’t any new messages from him. You’re confused now, and you dial his number quickly before bringing the phone to your ear. 

As the phone is ringing and you’re waiting for Bucky to pick up, you start putting your groceries away. You pause what you’re doing though, when Bucky doesn’t pick up and you’re directed to leave a voicemail. 

“Hey! It’s Bucky. I can’t come to the phone right now for whatever reason, but leave a message and I’ll-”

You hang up before the message finishes, and decide to call Sam instead. Unlike Bucky, Sam picks up after only 3 rings. 

“Hey, Y/N! What’s up?” his happy voice rings through your phone, and you smile despite your confusion as to Bucky’s whereabouts. 

“Hey, Sam. Just a quick question for you: have you heard from Bucky recently? I came home and he wasn’t here, so I was just wondering if you’d seen him or anything like that...” you trail off at the end, hoping you didn’t sound like an obsessive girlfriend. You add, “I tried calling him, but I got sent to voicemail.”

There was silence on Sam’s end for a moment or two, and you were about to ask if he’d heard your question until he says, “Hey Buck, your girlfriend’s on the phone for you.”

He’s with Sam? you think. Why didn’t he pick up his phone then?

There’s some rustling in the background on Sam’s end of the line, and Bucky finally says, “Hey doll, what’s goin’ on?” 

“Hey!” you exclaim, trying to sound perky and not let the confusion you’re feeling seep into your voice. “I tried calling you but you didn’t answer...is everything okay?”

“Yeah yeah yeah!” Bucky assures you. “I’m just hanging with Sam talking about...some things...but I was planning on leaving soon. You need me to leave now?” 

You smile as you realize that you were worried over nothing. “No, it’s okay! Have fun with Sam. I just got home with groceries, so I’ll make something for dinner and you can just reheat it if you’re not home soon enough to eat it fresh.” 

“Sounds good, doll,” you can hear Bucky’s smile through the phone, and your heart flutters a bit. The two of you have been together for almost two years now, but he still has this effect on you that you can’t quite explain. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright babe, I love you,” you try to tell him, but you can hear the TV in the background so you know that Bucky’s already pulled the phone away from his ear. 

You’re about to end the call, but before you do, you hear Sam say, “Have you told Y/N that-” Bucky ends the call before you catch anything else Sam was saying. 

Has he told me what? you wonder internally, taking the phone away from your ear and squinting at it. You decide not to ponder too hard on it, instead putting your effort into making a meal that Bucky would enjoy once he made his way home. 

However, dinner comes and goes, and Bucky still doesn’t show. You don’t worry too much, though, since you told him to have fun and that he could reheat whatever you made for dinner. You do start to worry when 11:30 rolls around and he’s still not home. 

You’ve already showered and changed into your pajamas for the night, so you shoot Bucky a quick text telling him you’re about to go to bed before tucking yourself in and attempting to get some sleep without him. 

-----

When you open your eyes again, it’s to your alarm going off the next morning. You reach over to your nightstand and turn off your alarm before turning back over to say good morning to Bucky and ask about his night. Your confusion grows even more, though, when he’s still no where to be found. 

You throw the covers off your body and unplug your phone, getting ready to call him to see if he’d ended up spending the night at Sam’s. You start walking towards the kitchen, and you pause when you notice Bucky asleep on the couch. 

“Bucky!” you say loudly to wake him up. He startles awake, and you feel bad for waking him so harshly. He gives you a small smile before you ask, “What happened last night?”

His smile falls again as he closes his eyes and rubs his hands over his eyes. “I...had a few drinks at Sam’s, he drove me home, and I slept on the couch so I didn’t wake you,” he explains, standing up and walking over to you. “And so I didn’t try to sleep with you,” he winks as he wraps his arms around your waist to give you a hug. 

You begin to reciprocate his affections, but pause when you realize something. Bucky has never - not even once - chosen to sleep on the couch instead of sleeping in your bed. Even after the two of you got in an argument, even if one of you was sick, even if one of you was blackout drunk...you’d sleep in the same bed and deal with the consequences of the morning together. 

Bucky notices your hesitation, and he pulls away from you and gives you a confused look. You turn around and head towards the kitchen, though, not interested in having this conversation now. You had to get ready for work. 

“Well, how was Sam’s?” you ask instead. “What did you talk about that whole time?”

“Oh, ya know,” Bucky answers. “Everything, really. Possible missions, Captain America stuff...nothing important.”

“Nothing important,” you repeat, humming to yourself, not missing the way he almost sounded nervous to be answering your question. “Well, I hope it was fun,” you decide on saying, allowing a hint of irritation to make its way into your voice. You poured a to-go cup of coffee and walked back towards your room to get dressed. 

“Hold on,” Bucky frowned. He followed you to your room, standing in the doorway as you got dressed for work. “Did I do something wrong?”

You chuckled to yourself while trying to decide how to respond to him. You don’t know exactly what Bucky did that was wrong, but something felt off, and you weren’t sure how to explain that to him. “It’s just....it’s just weird that you didn’t answer my call last night, didn’t come home until late without telling me, didn’t sleep in our bed, and then you seem nervous to tell me how the night went.” As you talked out loud, everything sounded a bit ridiculous, and you were scared you were overreacting. However, you knew how Bucky usually acts, and this wasn’t it. 

Bucky didn’t say anything for a minute or two, and you were about to take his silence as a cue for you to leave, until he said, “Well, I’m sorry I’m not acting how you’d expect me to.” 

“Oh my god,” you immediately scoff, whipping around to face him. Your eyes were wide in disbelief as you continued, “Are you serious? I know you Bucky. I’m not expecting you to act any way - I just know how you do act. And you’re acting really weird right now.” Bucky tried to object to this, but you cut him off: “No no no, don’t even try to deny it. You’re acting weird and I want to know why.” 

“You wanna know why?” Bucky raised his voice at you, and you took a small step back. He noticed your reaction and his eyes softened a bit before he continued, “This is why.” He set a small object on your dresser, then turned around and walked out of the room. 

You hurried over to the dresser to see what he’d left there, and your heart dropped to your stomach when you saw it:

a ring. 

“Wait!” you shouted after Bucky, suddenly feeling terrible for questioning his actions. You heard the front door slam, though, and you realized that he’d left the apartment. Tears sprung to your eyes, but you quickly looked up and tried to blink them away. You still have to go to work, you reminded yourself. 

Feeling almost numb, you grabbed your things for work and walked out the front door. This was gonna feel like a long day...

-----

You were right in thinking that the day would seem to go on forever. The entire time, you could barely focus on your work as you instead thought about how long Bucky has been thinking of proposing to you. The two of you had talked about marriage a few times, but he never seemed ready to make that step. You respected that, but then you’d never expected him to propose so soon. What were you supposed to think when he was acting all...weird? 

You shot a few texts Bucky’s way to try to apologize for blowing up on him, but you didn’t get any response. You didn’t blame him, but now, you were dreading going home and having what you thought was going to be a difficult conversation. Did he even still want to marry you after you’d overreacted so intensely? 

When it finally became time for you to go home for the day, you grabbed your things and sped to your car, before likewise speeding home. You were scared to see how Bucky thought of you now, but you wanted to apologize again and hopefully clear the air so the two of you could move on with your relationship. 

Bucky’s motorcycle was in its designated parking spot once you’d arrived back at your apartment, so you knew he was home. You jumped out of the car and collected your things, locked the car, and rushed up the stairs to your apartment. When you opened the front door, your mouth fell open in shock. 

The lights were dimmed throughout the apartment, and it smelled like someone had made your favorite meal. You spotted a few lit candles, and you smiled when you saw Bucky leaning over another one, attempting to light it. 

“Hey,” you said softly, setting your things down next to the door as you closed it. 

Bucky jumped in surprise, which caused him to burn his finger on the lighter he was using to light the candle. “Shit!” he exclaimed, shaking it off for a moment, before turning to you. “You’re, uh, home early today.” 

You looked at the clock and raised an eyebrow. “Nope,” you replied, popping the ‘p.’ “Same time as always.” 

“Oh,” Bucky said quietly. “Well, it feels earlier.” He looked around the room, and you swear you saw his cheeks turning a bit pink. 

“What’s all this?” you wondered, smiling and making your way towards him. “Is it for your other girlfriend?” you joked, but his glare in response made you realize that he didn’t find your joke funny. “I’m sorry...about questioning you, about seeming controlling-”

“Oh, now don’t apologize for being controlling,” Bucky interrupted you. “You know I like that from time to time,” he continued with a smirk, and you could tell that he accepted your brief-yet-sincere apology. 

“What’s going on?” you asked again as you wrapped your arms around his waist and tucked your head under his chin. 

“It’s for you,” Bucky replied simply, kissing the top of your head. “You deserve a real proposal, not just me slamming a ring down on a dresser and expecting you to know what I mean.”

Your heart jumped, realizing that you were correct in your suspicions that he was going to propose. You pulled away and smiled up at him, leaning forward to kiss him softly. 

Bucky deepened this kiss for a moment or two before pulling away and clapping his hands together once. “Well, let’s get this over with,” he said with a wink as he took your hand and led you to the kitchen table. 

You could tell that Bucky was still nervous, but you appreciated all the effort he was putting in to make this special for you. You squeezed his hand in what you hoped was a comforting gesture, allowing him to take the lead in this ordeal. 

“M’lady,” Bucky bowed with a wink as he pulled a chair out for you to sit in. 

You giggled and complied, letting him act as serious or joking as he felt comfortable. After all, you were gonna be engaged by the end of the night...who were you to question the way he went about asking you to marry him? 

-----

a/n: again, i deeply apologize for my prolonged absence, and i hope some of you are still with me! i also hoped you enjoyed this one shot...it’s been a long long time since i’ve written anything other than academic essays, and i’m hoping this is written well and not too out of character for bucky. feedback is always appreciated! i love you all! 

[avengers-x-reader]

how would you guys feel if i posted a video cover instead of an audio one??? would you rather watch me singing someone or just listen to it (or do you not really care haha)??

[avengers-x-reader]

so who knows if anyone is actually interested in hearing this, but what the hell i’m gonna post it anyways! this is me singing “tightrope” from the greatest showman, aka the song that broke my heart. 

i know and am fully aware that there are parts of this that are cringey, but just kinda ignore those and maybe you’ll enjoy it?? hopefully you’ll enjoy it! please let me know what you think (good or bad! i wanna know it all!) and if you have any songs you’d like to hear me sing :) also requests for imagines are open lmao

(also if you listen closely you’ll hear the bass of my brother’s music playing in the background and my dog barking! just some fun little easter eggs for you guys)

[avengers-x-reader]

“Best Friends” - Part 2

Characters: Peter x Reader

Description: Can you do a Peter x reader where the reader is peters Best friend and she is sick of him always talking about Liz so she starts to ignore him? Could you make it angsty please? Thanks!! (requested by anon) --> a continuation of this request!

Word Count: 1,847

Warnings: Language, a bit of poorly written angst

A/N: I got an overwhelming amount of support for the first part of this, so I wrote a Part 2! I hope you guys like it :) (tag list will be under the cut at the end!)

Read Part 1 here!

It had been almost a week since you’d last spoken with Peter. After you walked away from your argument, he’d made no attempt to contact you, so you didn’t feel like putting in the effort either. You figured that he was the one completely in the wrong here; he messed up, so he should be the one to reach out and work to fix it. Not you. That would seem like you were desperate and needy, and that was the last thing you wanted to seem like considering what your argument was about. 

A day into the silence between the two of you, you made the mistake of asking Ned how Peter was doing. As much as he’d hurt you, you still didn’t want him suffering. 

As it turned out, your worries were completely misplaced. According to Ned, Peter was doing completely fine. He didn’t even know that the two of you had an argument until you asked about Peter. 

This made you feel even worse. How come Peter was so carefree about this while you were taking it so hard? The two of you had been best friends for years; was he so willing to throw that away after one argument? Still, your decision to keep the silence until he made an effort to break it remained. You weren’t going to be the one to give in, not when he hadn’t made an effort towards your friendship in over a month. 

It was a Friday night, and MJ had had enough of you sulking around. “It’s not healthy for you to be so upset for so long,” she tried to tell you. “Yes he was your best friend, and yes he’s a complete and total ass for what he’s doing, but you can’t be so caught up over someone who won’t even give you the time of day.”

You decided that she had a point, so you let her take you out for pizza. The place was a little packed since it was a Friday night, but the two of you managed to place your order up front and find a seat towards the back of the restaurant.

You talked aimlessly until your food arrived, and then your conversation was replaced with chewing and swallowing at lightning speed. Neither of you had eaten very much up until then, and you both agreed prior to arriving at the restaurant that as soon as your food came out, all talking would become secondary to eating.  

You were almost done with your second slice of pizza when you saw Peter walking through the front doors. Your good mood began to turn sour, especially when you saw Liz walking in right behind him. 

MJ must have noticed you staring at something, because she turned around and rolled her eyes at what she saw. “C’mon Y/N,” she scoffed, “Let them have their fun. We’re having fun too!” she emphasized by taking a decent-sized bite of the pizza she was holding. 

“You’re right, we are,” you chuckled, looking back down and taking another bite as well. You weren’t going to let Peter ruin the one good night you were having this week. 

Unfortunately, Peter must have seen you, even with you sitting in the very back of the restaurant, because you heard his confused voice say, “Y/N?”

“Shit,” MJ sighed, realizing there was no avoiding the negative situation now. “Peter!” she replied for you. “How nice to see you. I hope you have a fantastic night with Liz there!” she exclaimed sarcastically, expressing her frustration with him while also giving him a sign that she wanted him to go away. 

“What are you doing here, Y/N?” Peter asked you, completely ignoring MJ. 

You furrowed your eyebrows and glanced down at your pizza. What did it look like you were doing? “Um, eating?” you replied in a confused tone. 

MJ snickered and Peter shot her an annoyed look before saying, “Right, of course. Uh, how - how are you?” he stuttered, almost acting like the two of you didn’t even have a fight. 

You looked around Peter and saw Liz standing awkwardly a few feet away, looking down at the ground. You looked back at Peter, and in the most I-can’t-believe-you-just-asked-me-that voice you could muster, you replied, “Are you kidding me?”

“Well, I just-” he started, but you interrupted him. 

“No, Peter. What the hell?” you exclaimed. “You ignore me for a whole week, after our argument about you ignoring me for a month, and then you just waltz up to me and ask how I am like nothing even happened? You don’t get to do that. You’re here with Liz - and what a surprise that is, by the way - instead of even thinking about me, just like it’s been for over a month. Things aren’t normal between the two of us, and you don’t get to suddenly act like they are.”

With a glance in MJ’s direction, you could see that she was a bit annoyed at the situation, but you could also tell that she was proud of you for standing up for yourself. 

“Well I’m talking to you now, aren’t I?” Peter tried to defend himself, crossing his arms. “How else am I supposed to make things better?”

You considered your words carefully before you answered, “Let me ask you this, Peter. Would you have even tried to talk to me tonight if I wasn’t conveniently in the same place as you? If I was at home and you were somewhere else, would you even think to ask me how I am?”

Peter’s silence answered for him. 

“Right, then,” you nodded. You stood up and grabbed your jacket. “MJ, I’m so sorry about this, do you wanna come over and watch a movie or something?” you asked, feeling bad that she had to sit through your (second) argument. 

“Sure,” she agreed quietly, following your lead and standing up as well. 

“What do you want me to do?” Peter called out as the two of you moved towards the front of the restaurant. 

You scoffed in disbelief, thinking that the conversation was over when you walked away. “I want you to make an effort,” you answered simply without turning around. “I want you to choose me, for once.” And with that, you and MJ made your way out of the restaurant. 

Monday at school was uneventful. You passed Peter in the hallway a few times, and he looked like he wanted to say something to you, but he got swept away every time he was about to speak up.

Tuesday, though, was a different story. It was lunchtime, and you usually sat with MJ and Peter (up until your guys’ fallout). So recently it had just been you and MJ sitting together. She had to make up a test during her lunch, though, so you were left sitting by yourself. 

Just as you were opening the bag that held the sandwich you brought, you sensed someone standing in front of you on the opposite side of the table. You glanced up awkwardly, not really knowing who would be interested in getting your attention. You groaned inwardly when you saw Peter standing there. 

“Hey,” he said quietly. He didn’t put down any of his things, so you weren’t sure if he was actually gonna sit down or if he planned on staring at you for all of lunch.

“Hey,” you said back, phrasing it more as a question. 

“Where’s MJ?” he asked after a moment of silence, as he looked around the cafeteria as if he’d see her walking towards the two of you.

“She’s taking a test,” you answered simply. You still weren’t sure what he was doing. “Where’s Liz?” you retorted. “She not here today?” You figured she wasn’t with Peter because she was preoccupied with something else. There was no way he’d be talking to you otherwise. 

Peter cleared his throat before replying, “No, uh, she’s actually right over there.” He nodded his head to the left, and you followed his movement to see Liz sitting with some of her other friends. 

“So....why are you here?” you asked bluntly, wanting to get to the point. 

“You’re alone.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, Peter, I am. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.”

He sighed heavily before starting up again. “That’s not how I meant it. I just noticed MJ wasn’t with you today, and I know how much you hate sitting alone, so I wanted to see if it was okay for me to sit with you today.”

You couldn’t help it. Your mouth fell open in shock at Peter’s words. “You remembered that?” you said, referring to him talking about your hatred towards sitting alone at lunch. 

“Of course I do. Y/N, you’re still my best friend,” he said softly, finally swinging his bag around his shoulder and putting it on the floor before sitting down across from you. 

You rolled your eyes despite your best efforts not to and mumbled, “Well you sure haven’t been acting like it recently.”

“I know, and I don’t think I’ve even apologized for how big of an asshole I’ve been recently. So I just wanna say now how sorry I am for how I’ve acted this past month. There’s really no excuse for me ignoring you that way, especially, especially when you needed me that one night,” Peter said, referencing the night you called him while ridden with anxiety. 

You didn’t know what to say. Although you hated it, you were great at arguing with people. It was the making up part that you were never good at. You always froze. You finally settled on replying, “That really hurt.”

“I can imagine it did,” Peter nodded, still refusing to make excuses for his actions. That was a good sign, you supposed. “And I promise from now on, if you’ll let me, I’ll be 200% better at being there for you like best friends should be. You’ll be my first priority again, like it was before all this went down between us. This is me choosing you, like you said you wanted me to do.”

His voice was so desperate and pleading, you’d feel like a terrible person to deny him. “Okay,” was all you said, nodding. 

Peter let out a sigh, and he laughed a little in relief. “Thank you so much,” he said, reaching across the table and covering one of your hands with his. You jumped a little at the contact; it’d been so long since the two of you had even talked, let alone touched. “I won’t let you down.”

“You better not,” you joked, putting your other hand on top of his and squeezing a bit. Obviously things wouldn’t go back to normal right away, and it’d take some time to build back up the trust that was lost, but you had faith that your relationship would eventually get back to the way it was. How could it not after being friends for so long?

“Oh, and by the way,” you continued, “You’re still my best friend, too.”

//Tag List//

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[avengers-x-reader]

I FINALLY FOUND YOU AGAIN!!! IM SO HAPPY! sorry- I originally going you like 3 months ago I forgot to follow you. But I found you again and I'm soooo happy I did! Sorry this isn't an ask....

Ah no that’s okay! I’m glad you found me again, too! Welcome!

[avengers-x-reader]

Just a few announcements for you guys:

First of all, I’m so sorry for the long wait for “Best Friends” part 2! I finally graduated, though, and I’m not doing anything during the days, so part 2 should be up later tonight or some time tomorrow! Again, I apologize about the wait. Anyone who requested to be tagged will be tagged in it, though!

Secondly, I was listening to The Greatest Showman soundtrack earlier today and I kinda sorta maybe got inspired to record myself singing Tightrope...I don’t know if any of you know or like that song, but if you’d be interested in hearing me sing it anyways, please let me know! I know that I’ve already posted a couple audio clips of myself singing on this blog, but it’s just really fun for me so I really do apologize if some of you get annoyed by it!

I think that’s all! So in summary: part 2 of “Best Friends” should be up shortly, and I might be posting an audio clip of me singing Tightrope from The Greatest Showman!

[avengers-x-reader]

Tag List

Hey everyone! The support that I’ve gotten for “Best Friends” just in the past 24 hours has been overwhelming. Thank you so much for your enthusiasm about it! I was nervous about posting it because I’ve never written for Peter before, and I’m pretty rusty on writing angst, but you guys definitely made me feel better about it :)

That being said, some of you have asked to be tagged in part 2, and I’d love to do that! If anyone else would like to be tagged in part 2, or any other story that I put out, just like this post and I’ll make sure to add you to a list! If you’ve already sent me a message or replied to the post saying you’d like to be tagged, I already have you covered for this story, at least. Still like this post, though, if you’d like to be tagged in my other stories! I’ve tried making a tag list before, but the messages that I got for it got lost in other messages that I had, so this is just a new way for me to keep everyone together in one spot. 

Please note: if you like this post, I’ll automatically assume that you want to be tagged in all of my stories! If you’d only like to be tagged in part 2 of “Best Friends,” please specify that. Thank you guys so much! Have a great day!

Read “Best Friends” here!

[avengers-x-reader]

“Best Friends”

Characters: Peter x Reader

Description: Can you do a Peter x reader where the reader is peters Best friend and she is sick of him always talking about Liz so she starts to ignore him? Could you make it angsty please? Thanks!! (requested by anon)

Word Count: 1,757

Warnings: Language, mentions/symptoms of anxiety, angst

A/N: This is my first Peter imagine, so I hope I don’t completely butcher it! If anything seems ooc, please let me know what and how I can change it. I added Peter not only always talking about Liz, but ignoring the reader in favor of her. I hope that’s okay!

You and Peter had been best friends since elementary school. You moved into the house next to his, and after embarrassingly walking into his house instead of your own one day, you’d been inseparable. You were there for him when his first pet goldfish died, you were there for him when he was trying to get over his fear of the dark, and you were especially there for him when his uncle died. Peter even trusted you with his secret of being Spider-Man. 

Up until a few weeks ago, you’d thought that nothing would be able to tear the two of you apart. People even referred to the two of you as the “dynamic duo” of your school. If even other people could tell how close you were, why would there be a reason to change your relationship?

That’s when Liz came along and changed your mind. As soon as Peter laid eyes on her, he seemed to be more invested in building a relationship with her than maintaining the one you already had together. 

Whenever you tried to talk to him, he’d always find a way to bring the conversation back around to Liz. 

“Hey, I just got a new shirt! What do you think?” “Oh yeah it’s nice, did you see the one Liz was wearing earlier? I couldn’t tell if it was new or not, but it looked amazing!”

“There’s that English test coming up, right? Do you wanna study together and get a pizza or something?” “I’m sorry Y/N, Ned and I were actually going to try and figure out Liz’s favorite candy tonight. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, you know that.”

“Peter, I got an A on my science test!” “Awesome! So did Liz! I helped her study.”

“Hey, any new news in the superhero universe?” “Not really. But did you hear that Liz has a crush on Spider-Man? How crazy is that!”

At first, you thought Peter was just going through a phase. He made a new friend, and he was focusing his attention on that relationship to see where it could lead. Fine. You could deal with Peter having friends other than yourself. After over a month of having little-to-no normal interactions with Peter, though, you began to realize that Peter was just choosing to ignore you. This wasn’t a phase; he was replacing you. 

You’d been on the verge of cutting all ties with Peter for a few days, and the time came one night when you really needed him. 

Everything in your life was just becoming too much. Your part-time job had scheduled you twice as many days this week, your teachers all decided to pile on tons of homework, and your anxiety was shooting through the roof. All of the drama with Peter wasn’t helping anything, so you wanted to call him and re-establish your guys’ relationship. 

Swallowing your pride and wiping the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes, you picked up your phone and dialed Peter’s number. Your hands were shaking as you pressed the buttons, but you eventually managed to hit the call button and hold the phone up to your ear.

It was an agonizing 6 rings before Peter picked up. “Hello?”

“Hey Peter, it’s me,” you said softly, knowing that if you spoke any louder you’d probably start crying. You got no response though, so you continued sadly, “Y/N. It’s Y/N.” 

“Oh!” Peter replied, seeming shocked that you’d called. “Hey! What’s up?”

“I just...I’m feeling really bad and I wanted to know if I could talk to you about it.” Your voice trailed off towards the end of your request. You’d never been one to admit that you needed help, and Peter knew that. It took a lot for you to ask someone for help unprompted, and you hoped Peter remembered this.

The other end of the line was quiet for longer than you would have liked, and you felt your chest starting to tighten. You didn’t say anything else until he responded, though, in fear of annoying him with your persistence. Eventually, he spoke. “I, uh, I was actually on my way out the door....” His voice showed a bit of pity, but it didn’t sound like he was going to change his mind. 

“Please?” you made one final attempt at getting him to talk to you. “I-I’ve had a really tough week, and you’re my best friend, ya know? At least we were a month ago and I hope we still are now, but you always know what to say to make me feel better and I could really, really use some help,” you rambled on, a common thing for you to do when you were feeling insecure or anxious. 

“Y/N....” Peter started, and you knew you were in for disappointment. “I’d really like to talk to you, but can this wait until later? I had plans with Liz to go...” As soon as you heard Liz’s name, you tuned everything else Peter said out. Of course that’s why he couldn’t talk to you. 

“Right, I get it Peter. Thanks for your help,” you interrupted whatever he was saying before pulling the phone from your ear. 

“I’ll call you later, okay? Please don’t be-” you ended the call before he could finish whatever he was saying. “Please don’t be mad?” you finished for him under your breath, dreading the way your chest was tightening and mind was clouding over. “Right,” you scoffed weakly as you sat down on your bed against the wall and pulled your knees to your chest.

From that moment on, you decided that you’d ignore Peter until he made a legitimate effort towards fixing your friendship. 

Peter did call you later like he said he would, but you ignored him. He even sent a few texts, asking if you were okay, but you chose not to respond to those either. You weren’t trying to be petty or anything, you just knew that if you started talking to him, you’d either start crying or start yelling at him. Neither option sounded very appealing, so you chose to avoid the situation altogether.

The next day at school, you did everything you could to avoid Peter. You still didn’t feel like talking to him, and although you wanted him to make an effort to fix whatever was happening between the two of you, you needed some space to cool down first. 

You had a few classes with Peter throughout the day, and you managed to get in class right as the bell rang so he couldn’t talk to you and leave as soon as the dismissal bell rang to run out before he could follow you. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, you’d let your guard down as you were grabbing things from your locker before heading for the buses. 

“Y/N!” you heard Peter’s voice next to you. “What’s going on?”

“Absolutely nothing,” you muttered under your breath before slamming your locker shut and trying to walk around him. You weren’t even able to grab everything you needed because you were trying to get away so fast. 

Peter blocked your way before you could pass him, though. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine and dandy, okay? Now just leave me alone,” you tried to shove past him again, but he grabbed your arm to stop you. 

“Why are you ignoring me?” he wondered. 

All of your thoughts about ignoring the situation went flying out the window when he said this. You turned around hastily and responded, “Oh, like you’ve been doing to me for the past month and a half?” Peter was about to start defending himself, but you shut him down. “No, you’re not the victim here. Don’t even act like it. I’m the one who’s had to deal with you pushing me away every chance you got in favor of Liz. I’m the one who has to listen to you fawn over how nice she is or how great her ass looks in some damn leggings. Don’t you dare try to pretend that this hasn’t been happening, because it has, whether you realize it or not.”

Luckily, most people had left the hallways by now, so it was just you and Peter. You realized that you were probably going to miss the bus, but you also knew that if you didn’t say everything you had to now, you most likely never would. 

“Is this about last night?” Peter asked incredulously, his eyes widening. “Because if it is well then I’m sorry, but I had plans and I couldn’t just break them because you needed some attention.”

“This isn’t just about last night!” you exclaimed in frustration, tangling your fingers in your hair. Tears started to pool in your eyes, making you feel betrayed by your own body. You continued, anyways. “This is about almost every single day for over a month, Peter! And last night,” you paused to let out a humorless chuckle, “Last night I needed you. I needed you Peter, and you completely shut me down. Do you know how that feels?” 

Peter looked down a bit in shame, mumbling an apology under his breath. That wasn’t enough for you, though. You wanted him to really know how he made you feel, and as selfish as it sounded, you wanted him to feel badly about it. So you went on, “I was at one of my lowest points in a really, really long time. And even though we haven’t talked a lot recently, you were still the first person I called....Do you know what I did when I hung up on you?” You waited for Peter to give some answer, and with a small shake of his head, you answered for him. “I had a goddamn panic attack while you were out livin’ it up with Liz, probably cuddled under some blanket throwing all your cares away and completely forgetting about me at home, needing someone. Needing you.”

“Y/N, I am so sorry,” Peter finally spoke up, looking you in the eyes. You noticed that his eyes were glassy, and although you felt bad that he was close to tears, you didn’t feel bad about letting him know how you felt. 

“Best friends are supposed to be there for each other, no matter what,” you said softly in a shaky breath. You collected yourself before continuing, “I guess things have changed.”

With that, you turned and walked away from Peter, heading towards the exit of the school building. He didn’t try to stop you.

A/N: I’ve never been that great at writing angsty situations, but I hope this was good enough! I had a lot more ideas for the ending than what would fit a typical one-shot length, so if you guys want a part 2 to this, let me know! Otherwise it can stay just a one-shot and you guys can imagine your own ending. Up to you all!

Edit: Read part 2 here!!!

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[avengers-x-reader]

well i can’t always be right :/

guys!!! i’ve officially bought my tickets for infinity war!!! i’m seeing it april 28 @ 11:45pm, which is right after my school’s prom….but there’s no way i’ll fall asleep because i’m gonna be too caught up in making sure my babies don’t die….even though i know some probably will….but i know my boy spidey ain’t dying so at least my literal son/sun will be a-ok!!!

[avengers-x-reader]

guys!!! i’ve officially bought my tickets for infinity war!!! i’m seeing it april 28 @ 11:45pm, which is right after my school’s prom....but there’s no way i’ll fall asleep because i’m gonna be too caught up in making sure my babies don’t die....even though i know some probably will....but i know my boy spidey ain’t dying so at least my literal son/sun will be a-ok!!!

[avengers-x-reader]

I Care About You

Characters: Bucky x Reader

Description:  Hi! I was wondering if I could have a BuckyxReader fic? The reader is a good friend of Bucky's (who has secret feelings for him) & he always goes to you for help, comfort, & to get away from it all. But one day, you have a really bad day & just feel so lonely & unloved. Bucky finds out, despite you trying to hide it, & gives you the love & comfort you always give him. This leads to a mutual love confession on both sides. Romantic fluff please! I've been feeling lonely, so this might cheer me up❤ (requested by daneel-the-sister-of-castiel)

Word Count: 2,306

Warnings: Language, sad reader :(

A/N: Hello! I’m sorry you’ve been feeling lonely, I know how bleh that feels. If you ever wanna chat, just shoot me a message and I’ll help as best as I can! That goes for all of you guys :) I hope you like this imagine & that it cheers you up a bit! (By the way, in this imagine the reader isn’t a part of the Avengers, she’s just a friend of Bucky’s. I hope that’s okay!)

You and Bucky had been friends for a little over a year. The two of you met at a fast food joint one night. It was around midnight, and you were craving something greasy. 

“Why am I like this?” you muttered under your breath as you pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant closest to your apartment. Once you got out of the car, you walked inside and noticed there was only one other customer. You ordered your food and stood near the counter. You soon got bored of just standing there, and your eyes wandered to the only other person inside. 

He was staring down at his food on the table, not eating it. He didn’t have a phone out or anything...he was just looking down. You frowned at this and made your way over to him. He seemed sad about something, and he was too lonely (and attractive) for you to just leave him there.

“Craving a midnight snack too, huh?” you asked once you’d reached his table, sliding into the chair across from him. The man lifted his eyes to stare at you, but his head was still bent towards the table. He said nothing, so you continued, “I usually just find something in my kitchen when I get in these moods, but I figured I’d treat myself tonight.” He was still silent, but this comment got a little smirk out of him. 

You weren’t discouraged by his stand-offish nature just yet, so you ventured further and introduced yourself. “My name is Y/N,” you said in the friendliest tone you could muster, sticking out your hand for him to shake. “And yours?”

The man lifted his head and stared at your hand for a few moments, before lifting his right arm and taking it. “Bucky,” he replied, giving your hand a few shakes before letting it go. 

“Interesting name to match an interesting face,” you commented, cringing immediately at your attempt at flirting. “I-I mean,” you tried to recover, “I’m sure you have an interesting personality and story and life as well, I just-”

Bucky’s chuckle cut you off. “Thank you,” he said. His face twisted into grimace as he continued, “And interesting would be an understatement describing my life.”

You were intrigued by this, and were about to ask what he meant by that, but you heard your name being called from the counter up front. You sighed and slid out of the chair, grabbing your bag of food and thanking the cashier, before going back to join Bucky. “Is it okay if I stay and eat with you?” you asked, not wanting to intrude on his night if he wanted to be alone. You’d usually go home after getting food yourself, but there was something about this guy that made you want to stay and learn more about him. 

“Go ahead,” he gestured to the seat you were standing by. You smiled and sat down, hoping to find out this man’s story by the time you finished your food. 

After that night, you and Bucky started hanging out. You didn’t learn about his past or about the full extent of his job until a few months of being friends, but after you did, you promised to be there for him if he ever needed anything. Of course you would be there for him even if he hadn’t gone through everything he did, but especially after hearing about all the trauma he’d undergone, you wanted him to know that he was never alone and that you’d always be open and ready to listen and comfort him. 

He didn’t like taking you up on this offer too much, as it made him feel a bit weak, but every once in a while he couldn’t help it. Sometimes after a tough mission or an all-to-realistic nightmare, he’d call you and ask to come over. The tone of his voice when he was in this state always made you agree, no matter how tired you were or what time of night it was. Like you’d told him when you first made your offer: if he needed you, you were there. 

Sometimes Bucky needed someone to talk to about his problems, sometimes he needed physical affection to know that he was alive - he exists - and sometimes he just needed someone to sit with to know that he wasn’t alone. Whatever he needed, you were quick to comply and be whatever person he needed you to be in that moment. 

Once he felt better, he’d apologize for bothering you, but you always told him that that’s what friends are for. He never bothered you, and you were sure to let him know that. (You also kinda sorta maybe had feelings for him that went beyond friendship, but you hid those in fear of making things awkward between the two of you.)

There were times yourself when you felt like you needed someone to comfort you and be there for you, but you weren’t super comfortable asking Bucky for that sort of help. He had enough to deal with by himself; he didn’t need your problems added to the multitude of his own.  

There was one day, though, that caused you to completely break down. Your boss yelled at you and told you you couldn’t do anything right, when all you did was print out a few more copies than necessary of a promotion your work was having. Your coworker, who you thought was your friend, turned out to be talking shit behind your back and spreading lies about you, saying you were the “whore of the workplace” and that you slept with half of the male employees. As if that wasn’t bad enough, your mother called you and reprimanded you for half an hour about how you must not love her because you don’t call her every single day. She called you selfish, which stung the most out of everything said about you that day. You thanked God it was a Friday. 

You tried so hard to not be selfish. You voluntarily gave up almost all of yourself to give to everyone else, and the fact that she insulted the one thing you prided yourself on just made you feel like nothing. 

When you finally got home for the day, you kicked off your shoes right at the door, not bothering to straighten them, and flung your purse onto the couch. All you wanted to do for the rest of the day was watch reruns of Grey’s Anatomy while crying and eating a tub of ice cream. You sluggishly changed into a pair of sweatpants and one of Bucky’s t-shirts before going to the bathroom to rub off your makeup. 

As soon as you got back to the kitchen and began to open a pack of pop-tarts, there was a knock on your door. 

“Shit,” you cursed quietly to yourself, running a hand over your face in frustration. You’d completely forgotten that you and Bucky have a movie marathon every Friday night. “Well, I can’t cancel now. He’s already here,” you reasoned as you walked to open the door. “Besides, he might need me for something.”

You opened the door and looked up to see Bucky smiling and holding 2 boxes of pizza. You tried your hardest to smile back at him, and thankfully he didn’t notice the struggle it was to appear even somewhat happy. 

“I brought Forrest Gump to watch tonight,” Bucky announced happily as he walked inside. You shut the door behind him and replied cheerily, “I love that movie!”

“I know, that’s why I brought it,” he winked before setting the pizzas down on the counter. “I was only gonna get one pizza, but I was really in the mood for a combination pizza and I know you aren’t too fond of those. So I got one plain cheese pizza and one combination pizza so both of us are happy!”

“That’s really nice of you, thank you,” you replied, smiling at him. The two of you the plated your pizzas and went to the couch to sit down. 

“So, how was your day?” Bucky asked, making small talk before starting the movie. “Work went alright?”

You pressed your lips together and gave the most convincing smile you could and said, “Today was just fine, thanks for asking.”

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Usually you had a lot more to say about your day. “Anything exciting happen?” he pressed forward, interested in knowing more details. 

You felt your eyes start to burn, and you let out a sigh. Unfortunately, while sighing, you let out an ugly, emotional cry along with it. You covered your mouth, embarrassed, and glanced up to see Bucky’s reaction. Maybe he didn’t notice it?

His face told you otherwise. Of course he noticed it, how could he not? His eyes were wide in alarm, and his hands reached forward to hold you. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asked, not liking being in the dark about what was bothering you. 

“I-It was just a...a bad day,” you got out shakily before completely losing it. You started sobbing in Bucky’s arms, letting your emotions finally take control over you. 

Bucky didn’t say anything during this. He understood that you just needed some time to react to whatever happened during your day and release whatever pent up emotions you were feeling. “Shh, it’s okay, let it out,” he encouraged gently, which caused you to just start crying harder. How could he be so understanding right now when you were acting this way? “That’s it, let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling.”

After a few more minutes of crying, you were finally able to form sentences. “I’m so sorry,” you gasped out, the embarrassment of what had just happened hitting you full-force. “That isn’t me, that...that isn’t how I should act, I’m sorry,” you apologized again. 

Bukcy pulled away from you a bit to look you. “That isn’t how you should act?” he repeated what you had said, the confusion clear in his voice. “You shouldn’t show that you have any emotion other than happiness?”

“Not around you,” you muttered as you looked down. You refused to look him in the eyes.

“What does that even mean?” Bucky asked. “Why not around me?”

You noticed that he sounded somewhat offended, and you immediately felt guilty. “I just always want to be there for you whenever you need me, ya know?” you rushed to clarify. “And if I’m caught up in all of my emotions, how am I supposed to be completely available for you?” Neither of you said anything for a few seconds, so you continued quietly, “So I chose you.”

“You chose me?” he asked. “What was there to even choose?”

The offense was gone from his tone, and it was replaced with sympathy. “Great,” you thought to yourself. “Now he thinks I’m weak.” You said to him, though, “I want to be there for you. Always. No matter what. And if I’m letting my emotions get in the way of that, I’m not doing my job as a good friend. So I chose you. I chose to focus on your emotions instead of my own. Not because I felt like I had to, and not because you’re weak - and Jesus you’re anything but weak - but because I wanted to. Because I care about you.”

Bucky was quiet for a while. For longer than what was comfortable. Right when you were about to ask him if he was okay, he said, “What about my job as a good friend?”

“What?” you asked incredulously. Where was he going with this?

“I want to be there for you just as much as you want to be there for me,” he went on to explain. “If you’re happy, I want to know. If you’re sad, I want to know. If you’re scared, I want to know. Hell, even if you’re bored I want to know.”

“But why?” you wondered. You couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that he seemed to be so interested in your life. 

He let out a chuckle of disbelief towards your question before answering gently, “Because I care about you, too.”

“Well that’s just great,” you thought to yourself. “Now he’s being nice and thoughtful and sweet and I like him more than I ever have before, and holy shit his face is really close to mine.”

Before you even fully knew what was going on, Bucky’s lips were on yours. You were frozen out of shock for a second or two, and Bucky took this as a signal to pull away. Before he could get very far, though, you cupped his cheeks and kissed him back with the passion and love you’d felt for him for God knows how long. 

After a moment or so of this, you pulled away and leaned your foreheads against each other. “I really hope that wasn’t a sympaty, pity, ‘Wow, she’s pathetic’ kiss,” you whispered. 

Bucky chuckled and shook his head against your own, before kissing the tip of your nose and pulling away. “Of course not,” he replied, a smile on his face. “Y/N, I said I care about you, and of course I mean that I care about you as a friend. But I also want to care about you in a way that’s more than just a friend.”

Your mouth fell open. He felt the same way about you! “You like me?” you gasped, causing Bucky to let out a loud laugh. 

“I thought it was obvious,” he replied, shaking his head in amusement. “So, what do you say?”

In response, you leaned forward to kiss him quickly again and answered, “I want to care about you in as many ways as the word allows me to.”

[avengers-x-reader]

Please Read!!

hey hi hello, i promise i am not dead & i promise i still remember/think about this blog, i just haven't had much inspiration to write recently. i want to start again, though, especially because i'm going to be graduating soon & i'm gonna need something to do all day at home besides sleep! however, i have almost 700(!!!!) requests in my inbox and i think i've come to the decision to delete most, if not all, of them. it's nothing against the ones you've already sent in, i just need a fresh start & most of these requests are from so long ago that people wouldn't even remember that they sent them in.

that being said, i'm gonna need you guys to send in any requests you may have! i want to make sure that the people who are currently reading my stories see what they want to see, not something that someone 2 years ago wanted to see. so send away! the more the merrier! and thanks in advance for your cooperation/understanding throughout this transition :)

(also! i think i unofficially mentioned this some time ago, but i'm gonna start a tag list! so if you want to be included in that just shoot me a message and i'll get you put down for that!)

[avengers-x-reader]

For You

Characters: Steve x Reader

Description: Hey so I've seen tons of SteveXReader fics where the reader does disobeys and does something reckless on a mission and they argue until they confess their feelings, etc. I was wondering if you could do one where the reader actually doesn't argue with him, and instead looks to him for comfort because she was actually terrified and knows what she did was wrong? And he just can't bring himself to stay mad at her. (requested by anon)

Word Count: 1,329

Warnings: Mention of blood, injuries

A/N: wassup my dudes i am back from the grave here to present you with some stars & stripes love

As soon as you jumped in front of that bullet, you knew you’d made a mistake. It pierced the side of your body, and judging by the intense pain that felt like more than just a regular gun-shot wound, one of your lungs was probably punctured.

“Y/N!” Steve shouted, instantly killing the man who shot you before rushing to your side. 

“I-I’m fine,” you said, pressing your hands to your side to assess the damage. When they, almost immediately, got soaked with blood, you let out a little squeak in surprise. “Okay, maybe not. I think I punctured a lung.”

The fight was still going on around the two of you, but it seemed to be calming down. In fact, it was calm enough that Bucky and Nat were making their way over to you guys to see why you had stopped fighting and what had caused Steve’s cry of your name.

“What’s going on?” Nat asked, noticing you laying on the ground struggling more and more to breathe with every second. “Was she shot?”

You nodded in response, unable to verbally reply without making it worse for your breathing. Steve spoke up for you.

“Yeah. Probably has a punctured lung too, and it’s bleeding out pretty quickly. We’ve got to get her out of here.” His voice was laced with concern, but you couldn’t help but notice the twinge of anger that made its way in as well. 

Bucky wordlessly walked over to you and scooped you off the ground, trying to be as careful as possible so that your wound wasn’t aggravated. You let out an inevitable groan of pain, though, and he apologized quietly as he walked swiftly to the jet. He set you down as gently as possible, and went to tell the pilot your situation so that he’d know the severity of your injury and the speed at which he should fly. 

Steve and Nat sat on either side of you, propping you up so that you didn’t fall over. Nat took a spare jacket and tied it tightly around your waist so that it soaked up the blood and hopefully slowed it down a little. You felt the jet rise into the air, causing you to jerk in surprise a bit. As a result of this, you pulled at your wound and sucked in a harsh breath.

“We’ll be back soon enough to get you all fixed up,” Bucky said as he came back from talking to the pilot. “Another jet will be back to pick up everyone else in a few minutes, but we’re leaving now.”

You nodded, your eyes fluttering as you struggled to keep them open. You heard people calling your name, telling you to not fall asleep, but you couldn’t distinguish between who was saying what. Eventually, you gave into your exhaustion and let yourself drift off.

When you came back into consciousness, you noticed you were laying atop pristine white sheets. A bright light shined above you, and you squinted to let your eyes adjust to the change. Once you finally could see clearly, you looked around the room and concluded you must have been in some medical wing. 

Your side hurt significantly less due to the pressure of the wrappings around it, but it was still painfully obvious what had happened to you. You didn’t know how long you’d been out for, though, and wanted to walk around a bit and see if you could find someone and ask them exactly what had been done to help you.

You walked out of the room you were in and looked to your left and then the right, trying to decide which way you’d be more likely to find someone. You heard a bit of noise coming from the right, so you headed down that hallway.

After a minute or so of walking (or, hobbling...your side hurt too much to walk normally), you found Steve sitting on a couch, reading over some file that reviewed the mission that had just ended. He must have heard you enter the room, because he looked up and squinted when he saw you.

“What are you doing out of bed?” he asked, apparently not thinking that you’d been laying down for long enough. 

“I woke up and I was alone, and I wanted to ask someone what happened,” you replied, playing with the string wrapped around your waist. You were dressed in nothing but a hospital gown, but you weren’t concerned with your outfit at the moment. 

Something changed in Steve then. The confusion and concern left his eyes and anger replaced it. “You wanna know what happened?” he asked, standing up. Before you could clarify that you knew what happened, you just wanted to know how you’d been fixed up, he continued, “I’ll tell you what happened. You jumped in front of a bullet like an idiot and got your lung punctured because of it. Ring any bells?”

“Yes, I know-” you started to say, but you got cut off. 

“What were you thinking?” Steve raged as he took a few steps closer to you. “Did you think that you were stronger than me? That you’d be able to handle a gun shot wound better than I would?”

“No, I just-”

“You just weren’t thinking,” he continued, not giving you a chance to say anything. He went on for another moment, criticizing what you did and how you handled the situation, when you finally had enough. 

“I get it, okay?!” you shouted above his voice. That got him to stop. “I know that what I did was stupid, I know you heal faster than most people, I know I’m a terrible agent, I know all of this! So stop getting after me like I’m some...child and give me a break!”

Neither of you said anything for a while. You both stood there, avoiding eye contact and trying to figure out what the next step was. Right as you were considering just walking away, Steve spoke up softly, “Are you okay?”

That sure wasn’t what you were expecting. That was the first time since your injury that he seemed to express any regard for your well-being, any indication that he cared about what happened to you and was worried for your safety. You didn’t answer at first, but then shook your head as your eyes filled with tears.

Steve noticed your expression and closed the gap between the two of you, opening his arms. He was going to let you choose whether or not you wanted a hug, you realized. Of course you did, so you walked into his arms and wrapped them around his waist. He held you gently, obviously not wanting to squeeze you too tightly because of your still-sensitive wound.

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” you said quietly into his chest, letting a few tears escape. “I-I guess I just didn’t want you to get hurt?” you continued, phrasing it as a question to seem less vulnerable. “I dunno, I just knew that I didn’t want you to get shot and didn’t even think about what I was doing.”

“I’d do the same for you,” Steve replied after a second of not saying anything. 

You pulled back a bit and looked up at his face, noticing that his eyes now held compassion instead of the anger it held just minutes ago. 

“Really?” you asked.

“Without a doubt,” he smiled, leaning forward a kissing your forehead. “Now how about we get you back to bed?”

Your face warmed at his actions, but you didn’t want to leave him. “Only if you’ll come with me,” you bargained.

Steve seemed pretty okay with this idea, as he smiled and said, “I’ll take that offer.”

[avengers-x-reader]

sending love and comfort your way, and hoping the surgery went well! ♥️

Thank you!! The surgery went as well as it could have gone, I just now have to deal with the pain of it :/ but it'll all be okay, thank you for your message! 😊

[avengers-x-reader]

I hope you have a quick recovery!!!! Much love ❤ xoxo

Thank you so much, I love you 💗