brilapse - Tumblr blog

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THIS.

I am becoming convinced that able-bodied people do not actually know what experiencing pain is like based on the way they talk about it.

To me, developing chronic pain gave me this moment where I was like, "Oh, this is what being in pain is ACTUALLY like. I am 24, and I have to learn how to be in pain." Sure, I've had twisted ankles, I broke my arm, I've had the flu. Temporary pain hurts and is valid, but you don't learn how to actually be in pain until you are in it all the time. It's a hard lesson to learn.

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it’s weird how if the stuff my chronic illnesses causes happened to an abled person, they’d call an ambulance but i’m just expected to get up and carry on with my day

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I remembered I had a couple broken gold necklaces, like the chains, brought em to cash for gold and now I’m just $100 short to pay rent and not be evicted and I won’t have to sell my gaming pc.

I really don’t want to…. But I’m meeting someone in an hour who will buy it and I really don’t want to, of any of you can donate to my PayPal to help me hit that $100 I would appreciate it so much

I really don’t want to sell my gaming pc :( it’s the only thing keeping me sane rn with my illness

PayPal.me/nymphfet

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I’m literally gonna have to sell my gaming pc for a quick $500. I could sell it for $900 probably but that would take a couple days, need it now. Could prob sell it in next couple hours for $500. But fuck man. I’m so sad about it bc it’s the only thing literally stopping me from breaking 7 years of being clean from opiates right now with my chronic illness, it’s the only thing distracting me. The pain filled insomniac nights. I already sold a few pieces of furniture for my power bill. Gonna be 3-4 more weeks until I see my disability income. It’s insane how long they make you wait.

Now my rent is due and I was even given a damn discount of half off until my disability income gets sorted out. Having to tell them I don’t even have that? Like. Guess I’m Selling gaming my pc I worked so hard to get before I got sick a year ago 😣😣

Anyways. I’m just ranting. I just need to vent somewhere. It’s just, I don’t see the point anymore. I just don’t.

But honestly - the autistic burnout along with my chronic illness/autoimmune disease will probably kill me off anyways so 🤷🏻‍♀️

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not to be weak on main but I kinda miss not being in excruciating pain 24/7

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when rest and "lazy days" stop being optional, you eventually stop enjoying it. i don't even know how to relax anymore. there's barely any relaxation in rest for me, it's all forced by a sick body.

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The worst is when stress flares it and you’re just always stressed bc chronic illness :)))))) so NO RELIEF. EVER.

“surely this will not cause my chronic illness to flare up,” i say, actively doing something that has never failed to flare my chronic illness

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At least it’s a nice day out for once

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PayPal.me/nymphfet

Any help would be appreciated while I’m waiting for my disability income ❤️ it’s gonna be a little bit unfortunately :( going through a rough time……

seriously. ANY help would mean the world to me right now 😫😩

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Temple of Vesta, Tivoli by Charles-Louis Clérisseau

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Whats the point of owning 19th century natural history books if you dont take pictures of them in the sun?

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I literally need $500 by tomorrow or I’m gonna be homeless :))))

CPP disability takes forever wtf (long story short can’t work- autoimmune disease, also started having seizures and was diagnosed with encephalitis as well- lots of testing and treatment and shit ahead blah blah I’m tired of it and talking about it :()

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Star Trek Voyager: Relativity / Star Trek Picard: Penance

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By canvasoul