brokentrafficknight - Tumblr blog

[brokentrafficknight]

Wolf Ruby: Nothing is going right.

Jaune: Maybe this will help. *starts giving Ruby head pats*

Ruby: Not even that helps anymore.

Jaune: *Stops*

Ruby: I didnt say to stop.

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Adrian: Uncle Jaune~!

Jaune: Adrian? You came to the festival, too?

Adrian: Uh-huh! And I got meat sticks and played a shooting game and I even talked to the fortune teller guy!

Jaune: Fortune teller guy? Wait, you mean Professor Ozpin?

Adrian: Uh-huh! And he said he knew you! He said you were, uh... You're a man... A manly... something...

Jaune: Heh. He's just a weird guy. Don't worry about what he said-

Adrian: MAN-WHORE!

RWBYJNPR: !

Adrian: He said you were one big man-whore, Uncle Jaune!

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Jaune 'Brawn' Arc: Best. Girlfriend. Ever.

Ruby: It's a shame Pyrrha doesn't talk to me anymore though.

Ruby: R-Really?! You want to hang out with me?! Usually people only go after my sister!

Ruby: Oh~? You wanna do whatever I wanna do~? Hm~...

Ruby: In that case, you wanna get... SWEATY with me~?

Ruby: Alright, then~. Follow me~.

Ruby: (Deadlift squats many plates) LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY! FUCK YEAH~! WHOOO! LET'S! FUCKING! GOOOOOOOO~!

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Buns: Toasted

Cheese: Melted

Meat: Lots of it, a little flaky

Veggies: None to be seen

I'll give it a solid 9/10. Good burg.

Just made a burger rate it one through ten. Ask me a question if you want to know what's on it.

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Gonna indulge in some toxic behavior and agree. Oscar and Rosegarden are both just awful. That his implementation as a vehicle for exposition, Miles' self insert and the most trite M/F romance next to ReyLo is brushed under the rug because he's 'cute' is terrible too.

RG is the most egregious example of a romance at the cost of a female leads characterization the mind could picture. Goodbye Ruby the Heroine and hello Ruby the Participation Trophy.

“Prototype Jaune is Osc*r coded!”

Osc*r is and always has been a repurposed Jaune who is worse in every conceivable way. Jaune should have been Ozpin’s host and Osc*r should have been an idea laughed out of the writers room at worst, or never conceived at best.

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Yang: You guys wanna go get some d-e-s-s-e-r-t?

Ruby: Yeah dude! I need me a t-r-e-a-t?

Dog!Jaune: What're you guys talkin' about?

Blake: Yeah why did you guys just spell desser-

Ruby: Shut up don't say it!

Yang: Shh!

Blake: Uh, why?

Ruby: Oh God. How do we tell you this?

Yang: Jaune... Can't spell.

Blake: ...What?

Ruby: He can't spell. So when we talk about something he wants we spell it out loud so he doesn't get too excited.

Blake: He's a grown man! He can't handle hearing the word 'treat'?

Jaune, tail wagging: Treat?

Yang: No treat!

Jaune: Treat?

Yang: No treat!

Jaune: Treat?

Yang: No treat!

Jaune, ears drooping: Awww...

Blake: Okay, what is happening?

Yang: We told you! He gets excited when he hears the word t-r-e-a-t.

Jaune: Whatcha talkin' about?

Yang: Taxes

Jaune: Aw shucks!

Blake: So you guys just treat him like a toddler?

Jaune: Treat?

Ruby: No treat!

Jaune: Treat?

Ruby: No treat!

Jaune: Awwww...

Ruby: Dude, you gotta spell if you're talking about f-o-o-d.

Blake: Okay, so... Are we getting an s-n-a-c-k?

Jaune: Snack?

Ruby: Oh come on.

Yang: Dude, really?

Blake: Oh come on. I spelled it!

Ruby: Well he knows how to spell snack.

Blake: So he can spell snack, but he can't spell treat?

Jaune: Treat?

Blake: No treat!

Jaune: Treat?

Blake: No treat!

Jaune: Treat?

Blake: NO TREAT!

Jaune: God dammit!

Yang: Okay, he's getting fussy. Time for an n-a-p.

Jaune: Yeah!

Blake: What does n-a-p spell?

Jaune: Party!

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This one's technically cheating because I don't have any art of Pine Gold kids to use for a commission reference, so the Knightlight daughter makes a decent stand in.

Edited Catherine's eyes a bit since it's implied that Ozma's hosts leave behind Silver Eye Warrior descendants

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A lesser woman would use that opportunity to have her love impregnate her or marry her. But Pyrrha is above that. She just invited her friends to her party, very nice.

Saved it for the after-party.

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Why wasn’t Jessica invited to Pyrrha’s party? Isn’t she from Warner Bros and is banned from Disney resort property?

Her invite ACTUALLY got lost in the mail, unlike Weiss. She sent a very nice card

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Jaune and Pyrrha and Ruby were at a high-end fancy restaurant wearing the best clothes they had on them.

Pyrrha: I can’t believe that you two managed to get reservation to this place.

Jaune: Me and Rube protect the owner family from grimm and bandits during one of our mission to Vale. And he was so grateful for protecting his family from danger that he give us the V.I.P treatment for free.

Ruby: Which was nice because it mean me and Jaune can spoiled our princess to death~

Ruby and Jaune looked at Pyrrha with loving affection and Pyrrha cheeks burned red with embarrassment and happiness as she thanked the gods for giving her a second chance in life.

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We should have a chat about how Jaune's concept art looks very reminiscent to a certain farmboy.

Cuz it looks like there was more than one Little Prince contender

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So RWBY might have a lifeline and if v10 happens and the Summer maiden isn't May who had her death faked then GG. Dropped :^)

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You're so real for that! How could I forget?

There's lots of friends missing!

It is Pyrrha's Birthday. When Jaune asks her what she wants and he says anything, what does she ask for?

All her friends are there too!

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Pyrrha said her invitation to the party was 'lost in the mail' and so Weiss is spending her day hounding the post office for it.

Never mind that Pyrrha lives across the hall and could have just handed it to her.

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It is Pyrrha's Birthday. When Jaune asks her what she wants and he says anything, what does she ask for?

All her friends are there too!

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Can we get Jaune,Penny,Jessica, and their kids in the scooby doo van please?

Tadaa

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Jaune: It was really rough... I don't know if I should be alone tonight~

Weiss: I'm still HERE!

Yang: Sounds like a me and Blake job~! We can do it pro-boner

Weiss: *Punches through a window*

Weiss: 'Being flatter than a board' is NOT valid grounds for irreconcilable differences-

Jaune: Smile! *Camera flash*