bunnibuki - Tumblr blog

bunnibuki · 2 months ago

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Who is Christie/Buki? Speaking on my past mistakes/ traumas/ the drama.

Lately, I’ve been feeling unwell — both physically and mentally. Some people might call me a terrible person. Others say I’m mentally unstable. The truth is, I am struggling. I am sick. I know many of you might not know what’s really been happening, and some may not care. But I want to share my truth — my side of the story — because others have told their versions about me without knowing the full picture.

And after this, I’ll be deleting the following apps: Facebook, Instagram (including my spam account “spookybuki”), Yubo, and Snapchat.

PLEASE NOTE: I do not want attention; I want people to understand me before judging and reading what people say about me, because it has affected me.

Let start with my childhood

In 2007, my mother moved out of New York City with me and my siblings to Austin, Indiana. She would work a full shift while hiring her friend named Myra, and her husband was Chet. They both raised 3 kids together names were Shawn, Nicole, and Savannah. When my mom would work, Myra would abuse me with her husband, Chet. I have very little memory of this incident, so I can't tell you my entire experience. All I remember is that if we didn't listen to their kids who they left in charge of us, they would punish us. The kids were very mean and controlling. One day, Myra was so mad at me. I remember she was doing Chet's hair and forced Hot sauce in my mouth. As I stand in the corner with hot sauce in my mouth, my mouth is burning. I was 7 in a lot of pain; I felt as if my face was melting. My sister Haley watched the entire thing and didn't do much. Months later, I was bullied in school, and I have bumps all over my body. I remember Myra and Chet taking photos of my naked body. I was uncomfortable because my mother was never there. I would hear my brother screaming for help because Chet would beat him badly. He would lock me in the room, too, and threaten that if I was bad, he would do bad things to me in the bedroom with his belt. The situation was over once my sister snitched, and my dad, who was not in contact with us, found out. He took my mom to court, and we got to go home with my grandmother in NYC. In 2008, when we were back with my grandma, my stepdad came home and beat my mom up. I will not explain why, considering my stepdad apologized for what he did to my mom, and I forgive him because he is the father of my sister with autism, and she needs a lot of support. This was the beginning of where everything and my mental illness had developed.

In 2012, I joined Instagram. I was new to Instagram. I was a 12-year-old girl. I already joined, and my account was only for family. I only followed my family. I have always been bullied in school from 5th grade in elementary school to now as an adult. My best friend Nichole can tell you she was there. Because of the bullying, it made my struggles worsened. I became clingy to those whom I could trust and rely on. Nichole had to separate because my attachment issues got really bad. I always had problems. I had always had fights with people, and I didn't know when it was going to stop. Anyways, besides that, my friend passed away, and the bullying worsened.

In 2013-2014, I was 13 and about to turn 14 in the 7th grade. I was sexually assaulted by an old friend of mine, whose name was Khadijah. Khadijah knew what she was doing. We talked on here on Tumblr every single day, up until one day my mom went through my Tumblr and found Khadijah sexting me. She found messages from Khadijah sending an older man to text me. Khadijah would approach me in the girl's bathroom to feel my boobs, she would slide her hands down to my pants and do things. I would tell her to stop, and she refused. In December of 2013, rumors were going around about us. So she made my friend Ethan and i play a truth and dare game where she dared me Ethan and to date. Ethan, if you are reading this, I am so sorry I'm including you in my story. For anyone in Louis Armstrong, I never wanted to date Etahn, and he didn't want to date me; we were both forced. Ethan and I took the dare because she threatened us, so we both did it. Ethan ended up realizing how bad my mental health was and found out I was self-harming. With Ethan finding that out, he told on me, and this is where my mother finds out. The school made sure Khadijah stayed away from me, and she never reached out to me since.

In 2015, I was relieved to have left middle school, considering the sexual abuse I had experienced. The thing is about the school, I was sent to a ghetto school, which I had never experienced, and I was scared. I made new friends, and this is where I met my ex. I was 15, he was 17. We won't say names because what he did to me is really brutal, and I do not want anyone to know who this man is. I dated him for only a week, then he broke up with me. He wasn't over his ex, which I respected. We stayed friends, then all of a sudden, he made up rumors about me being a psycho. The friends I met at that school instantly betrayed me. I made one best friends there who I told this to, and she felt so bad. One day, she confronted him and told him to leave me alone. He had my sweater, which I let him borrow, and he and his best friend destroyed my sweater. I'll admit I had his sweater, and we destroyed it right back because what he did was extreme. There were burnt marks on my sweater. All we did was step on it. Weeks go on, and my friend informs me that my best friend dated my ex. I found out this was true and told her off I cut her off and didn't talk to her for a while. She felt bad and felt guilty, but continued to date him. She would run back to apologize, until one day I found out my ex was stalking me. Months later, he turns 18 and is still stalking me. He found a guy I was talking to on my Facebook, also the guy I was talking to had a girlfriend, and I was not aware. I sent this guy photos of my body to the point that he sent them to my ex and his friends. They then used those photos, making a hate account called WehateChristie on Instagram. My nudes was leaked by my ex boyfriend who basically was an adult at that time and the police did nothing for me except called me a whore.

This ruined my life, so I disappeared from social media and changed my name to Buki. This was the end of Christie Ortega.. I didn't want to be known as the girl who got her photos leaked, so I changed my name and identity. I stayed on the low for a while until I decided it was time to restart.

In 2016, I transferred and found myself with real friends. I am still friends with them to this day. Although we do not talk, William Cullen Bryant was a better school for me than anything else. Although things were great, my mental health wasn't. One day, I had a fight with my mom because things at home got worse. We lived with my grandma, by the way, I didn't mention this earlier, but we lived in a one-bedroom apartment with 2 adults and 5 kids. We were in a small apartment. I slept on the couch my mom slept on the second couch. My grandma slept in her bed with my twin sister and my brothers, and my sister with autism slept on the floor. My school called CPS on my mom a few times because our living situation was bad. We got bedbugs, and no one took care of them. This is why my school called on my mom because I would come in with wounds/bite marks all over my body. This affected me as my mom was super angry witSh me and has wanted nothing to do with me. My father already cut me off, and I was doing really bad. I attempted my first suicide in December 2016 and didn't get out until feb 2017.

I was on medication for a while I had to get therapy and treatment for a while. Things went okay after that. No more bedbugs, no more fights with my mom, and my ex stopped bothering me. Until I dated my ex, Randy. For most of you who know him, he abused me & r*ped me. Randy and I lived together for a little bit. When I lived with Randy, I would find him cheating on me with other girls. Whenever I would mention it, he would yell at me. I did so well in school until Randy came into my life and had me ditch school with him. One time, I thought I was pregnant and told Randy we never took a test, but my period never came until a month or two later. Randy had kicked my stomach multiple times when I thought I was pregnant. I was unaware whether I was pregnant or not. I never knew and will never know. When we broke up, he choked me and threatened to kill me. I went to the police and filed a restraining order on him. He never reached out since, but this broke me even more.

Now this is where I was sick. With everything I've been dealing with, I made a decision to make a spam account on Instagram. No one knew about the spam account until recently. I decided if people are going to bully me, I'm going to defend myself, and that's what I did. I didn't realize how wrong this was until recently, when I realized I was making a dumb choice.

I attacked people who attacked me when I should've walked away and never interfered in it. I should've just blocked these people In 2018. My ex Victor, was with me when I started doing this. His friends were minors, and that made me uncomfortable. He was 21. I get that some of them were family. One day, I came across one of his best friends who hated my guts. I had never spoken to her until I realized she was telling Victor I was bad for him. That affected me, so I came off on her on my fake account. She gave Victor her Instagram account, where I got access to it and found messages from me. She sent her friends screenshot of me, made fun of my family and i was pissed. Victor was the only person I found love with for the first time. I really did care and love him, but with his friends, it affected us, and with my childish behavior, I made it worse. I will not claim Victor is innocent, as his dad attempted to kill me and threatened to taser me at 1 am in the morning. My mother was the one who came for me and took me home. I made a mistake; instead of officially breaking things off with Victor, I told him I needed a break. This was when COVID started. I met Josh (my current bf) and we started talking when I was still involved with Victor.

I broke Victor's heart when he found out about me and Josh and cut me off for good, keeping half my belongings (which he bought, and it's ok tbh I don't care). My mom kicked me out after arguing with her over her /on-and-off relationship and leaving Victor, whom she really cared about; she considered him a son. I was really fucked in the head. I wasn't ready to move, nor was I ready to start another relationship. Josh and I sorta just rushed things, and I never took time to heal from my relationship with my ex until he apologized to me this year, which I appreciate and respect.

Mistakes with Josh

Josh and I aren't perfect, as most of you guys know. When we started dating, his mom instantly started attacking me. She would bully me, tell me I'm not the girl for him. She would make fun of my looks, my makeup, and call me heartless. This is where I involve myself in drama. I came forward about the drama to someone in his household, and that someone ratted me out to everybody; they leaked text messages I shared personally to the entire family. This caused me to have a panic attack. My boyfriend has a friend who came to my birthday party in 2020, and his girlfriend at the time was there. All of my friends bailed because of COVID-19, except for one. The party was ruined when I was informed his friends were complaining about me, saying I was boring and my style was wack. I then later on overhear him convincing my boyfriend to cheat on me, and he confirms he was cheating on his girlfriend. My friend dared me to tell her, but instead of telling her on my main account, I stupidly used the fake account, and an hour later, the girl shows up at my boyfriend's house threatening to beat me up because she refused to believe her bf cheated. When I showed the proof, she then went to yell at him and left the house. I was not touched thankfully, except for his sister in law, who involved herself who slapped me in the face. I know what I did was stupid, and I apologize for it. You guys may ask why your boyfriend is friends with these people... well, I ask the same thing, but I don't have a place to go. I tried to look for roommates, and I asked my friends to help me get out of here. I beg if I can stay with them, the only place I slept over was at my sister's apartment, which then she told me I couldn't stay, or the landlord would kick me out. I had one friend i met off yubo who offered me a place only one I declined only because they kept getting kicked out of places. I refused to be in that boat. The fake account I made, I stopped messing around. I never touched the account until recently, but I would like to share why.

In September 2022, I was working with NJ state to have me leave my boyfriend and his family so I could be on my own. This is where, 2 days later, my boyfriend's family's house caught on fire while me living there. I had all my stuff, childhood memories, school diploma, 4 cats, one dog, and a turtle, all destroyed and died tragically from this fire. This FUCKED with me. I wasn't okay. Most of my friends were online since I joined Yubo in 2021. I was very popular until my house burned and everybody sorta of left. One of the girl i was friends with on Yubo, introduced me to another girl, and these two girls took advantage of me. When I tell you I should've deleted Yubo right then and there, I should've, maybe I wouldn't have met these people. I always complained too much; I didn't know when to stop. It was really bad; no one told me oversharing was overwhelming, no one told me that my stress level had gotten to them. Instead, all of my problems and things I've struggled with were shared online with the world. I been called a bad person, i was called a trauma dumper, attention seeker, a whore and a transgender. (2023 March This all started) I was so enraged with this, I would try to defend myself with my own account, but my account would get strike by TikTok. I didn't want my account to get banned, so I made an account exposing everything about this person who exposed me. Realizing this was a dumb idea, considering I didn't want to fight with any more people. So I mind my own business until I would then find more posts about me, and this is where I fought back. The person harassing me, you know who I'm speaking of has been going over and over again with the hate post about me. I'll not put their name in this post, as I do not want my post to be exposed and shared on their TikTok. I have lots bunch of friends because of the effect it had caused on me. I tried my hardest to ignore this girl, but she continue to harass me and my family. At a point, she stopped until one day someone made an account about my sister. It was photoshopped photos of my sister with semen on her face. Fake nudity, this is where I got included, and I found a screenshot of my TikTok video, which was an edited photo of me with my tongue out, and the person created fake semen on my face as well. I was disgusted and upset, and assumed the girl who had been harassing me was behind the account, so I messaged her asking. Instead of her messaging me back, she then exposed me on TikTok, claiming I did it and lied. All she had to do was tell me it wasn't her, and I would've dropped it. I went to the police around October and decided to finally report her for harassment. They investigated, then told me I have to go to court. I never got to go because the court is far, and I never got to get a car, and my boyfriend refuses to help me, considering the issues we have. I still get harassed by this girl, but I decided to let this one go as it is not my problem. They chose to stalk my page, and if they want the situation to stop, they need to stop making up stories about me. I do want to apologize to anyone I may have involved. All I wanted was my friends to back me up and report the account so the stuff said about me would stop... but then i realized people are going to talk and there's nothing I can do about it.

My bf’s sister is another person who has been harassing me for a year with her daughter, who is 16. His sister has threatened to beat me up, leaked a video of our bedroom when it was a mess on the internet. Mind you, my boyfriend makes a big mess... I clean after him. All over the laundry. When his sister moved in 2022, I had to share my boyfriend's bathroom with his sister. She gave me cats and would not let me put the cats' litter box in the bathroom. My bedroom was really small, but his sister did not care. My boyfriend's bathroom had two sinks, but the second sink was broken. His sister claimed the good sink and made me and my bf use the broken sink. When I told them no, that it was broken, my things underneath the sink were still there. The pipes were leaking water, ruining my stuff, and the sister decided to let the sink run with water, destroying all of my bathroom belongings. After the house fire, she apologized. But the room we got was in a basement with a laundry room. I locked the door because I wanted privacy with my bf. They would walk into the room on us when I would get dressed, so many times I wanted privacy. The family made us do laundry by a schedule, and his other friend had the day Monday. She had my keys to my room and told me to make sure the other sister didn't go into the room. Later on, she did try to go into the room and ask for my keys. I said no, and she tried to snatch my keys, and this is where we got into a fight. I was attacked for listening to someone else when I should've never gave anyone my keys. Now every day his sister mocks me while I live here, she throws my food away, she goes into my room and broke my door so it cannot be locked anymore.

You guys are probably wondering why my bf isn't speaking up... he refuses to. He hates his sister but can't put his foot down. Thats what fucks me up a-lot and this is why i been trying to move out.

I do love my relationship he is still amazing. He always has supported me through others situations but you cannot make anybody chose between a partner and their family. I would never force him to make him leave them but the amount of hate and disrespect i get from his family has fucked me up. I started self-harming again when I moved here, and I haven't been able to stop myself since. This is why I am coming forward: I need help.

Last part of my story: Recent incident, April 2025

A friend I just stopped being friends with, ex's girlfriend, decided to make a hate page on him, me, and my other friends. I'll admit i fucked up by involving Josh, Brandon and David so if you guys are reading this i am so sorry. To Josh, I'm sorry I included you. His ex-girlfriend came at me for watching a story she made. I was involved by a friend who AGAIN I cut off from. He had made an Instagram comment on my post letting me know his ex-girlfriend was harassing him. I should never again involve myself. All I wanted to do was help. When his ex saw that I watched her story, she made a post about me, accusing me of cheating and defending her ex. I knew nothing about this girl besides that she was crazy, according to everybody. I messaged her telling her to take the post down. Then she blocked then continued to harass me by finding my dog's accout I just made on Instagram, leaking that too. This is where I used the fake account on Instagram and came for her. I should've just had my friends report it, but I was so mad. I gave the girl a chance and realized her story was believable until I realized she made another hate post about me this morning. Discussing my mental health... which I find sick. It doesn't matter if she was abused; she is harming people and attacking me, and this is why I put my foot down and defended myself. I should've kept fighting back i should've left it when i first got dragged in this but i was upset with everyone who has been shitting on me online lately... my self ham has gotten worst.

I've kept myself silent for so long. I didn't want to post my life story, but now I am. I'm holding myself accountable for my actions. There are so many times I wish I could fix things about myself, but I never could. I apologized to anyone I dragged into my battles, and I apologized to the people I involved with my fake account I made on Instagram. I am mostly sorry for always sharing my stories online. I was never trying to trauma dump anyone or attention seek. I wasn't even trying to be a pick me girl. I've been alone for so long that I was suffering. I am in therapy, receiving treatment right now for my health. My addiction to weed has worsened over the years, and whenever I try to stop, my anger gets the best of me, and I'm wasting all my money or breaking something of mine due to frustration. I abused drugs and alcohol in Jan lost more friends because i was saying out of pocket shit. In February, I almost attempted and took a bunch of Sleeping gummies while drinking. It never killed me, but it put me to sleep for a long time. This is why I reached out to my therapist asking for help. If it wasn't for my therapist, whom I met last year, I probably would've made many more mistakes... She recently just came back into my life after having a baby, but I am hoping she can find ways to give me tips on how to heal. As I really need it.

I hope one day I can find my own place, have money so I can take my dog, and get out of this hell. I hope one day the people who hate me will stop thinking about me and will forget me. I am also planning on legally changing my name. Once I find ways to process this, I'll be okay again. I just want the internet to forget who I am and to let me go.

To those who don’t like me and are reading this: Trying to expose me won’t get you anywhere. You didn’t win—and no one truly stood by your side. Despite any drama I’ve been involved in, my real friends continue to support me, and that won’t change.

To the ones I once trusted who turned on me—you were never genuine friends. Encouraging bullying only worsened my mental health, and for that, I hope you eventually find peace and let go of whatever resentment you're holding on to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I want to make it clear: I do not want to continue being harassed. I sincerely hope this message encourages people to step back and leave me alone.

To anyone struggling with mental health, abuse, or trauma: you are not alone. I’ll be sharing resources and links for anyone facing harassment, bullying, or sexual assault so you can access the support you deserve.

Thank you for understanding Have a good day

-Star

#mental health #trauma #childhood trauma #ptsd #mental illness #depressing shit #tw abuse #tw 3d vent #vent post #personal post #personal #might delete later

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