canis-hades

[canis-hades]

im going insane discovering the legend of drizzt books is the worst thing that ever happened to me these characters suck they’re ruining my life what do you MEAN jarlaxle the bitchy pansexual drow pirate slut with a rainbow cape bedazzled eyepatch and the biggest gayest hats in the realms what do you mean both his eyes are fine and he only wears the eye patch bc its magic & looks cool what do you mean he wears so much jewelry and such cunty heeled boots that he jingles and clops whenever he moves why would you show me this man

[canis-hades]

Wrote this wild D&D-like story for Glimmer! It was an enlightening experience for sure.

Domestic romance, Gale lore dumping about niche topics, corruption, epic fights, otherworldly influences and even a BBEG who you can defeat in three ways- excluding the very secret, rare special ending!

Pick your own path, and try not to die before the story ends 😉✨

(But you can always try again!)

A nice outing in the summer sun with Gale turns into something much more adventurous than either of you could have foreseen! Choose-Your-Own-Adventure!

🎮 interactive fanfic "A picnic Gone South" by @canis-hades 🔗 link to play: https://glimmerfics.com/stories/643710bd-picnic-basket-mimic

[canis-hades]

Happy fathers day! (where I live anyway)

Have some godless smut I forgot I even posted. It was in the back. Bit dusty. Hopefully you can blow off the dust and enjoy it regardless ✨

Sneak Attack

Fem.Reader x Karl Heisenberg - smut/pwp

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36615124

Like a lion stalking its prey, you sneaked up to his unsuspecting figure. He was distracted, fidgeting with metal, turning it around in the air above his hand. He may have some version of the Force, but his hearing was that of a normal person, and so your calculated steps towards him over the dirty factory floor went unnoticed.

Last steps. He seemed still lost in thought, and you raised up your hands. You were close enough where you could smell him, machine oil as a deep base note, a middle of the musk of his body after his long day at work, overpowered by the scent of the cigar that was lit between his lips. Time for the attack.

Your hands silently moved to his sides, and suddenly, like the predator you pretended to be, placed the tip of your fingers on his sides to tickle him.

[canis-hades]

Happy fathers day! (where I live anyway)

Have some godless smut I forgot I even posted. It was in the back. Bit dusty. Hopefully you can blow off the dust and enjoy it regardless ✨

Sneak Attack

Fem.Reader x Karl Heisenberg - smut/pwp

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36615124

Like a lion stalking its prey, you sneaked up to his unsuspecting figure. He was distracted, fidgeting with metal, turning it around in the air above his hand. He may have some version of the Force, but his hearing was that of a normal person, and so your calculated steps towards him over the dirty factory floor went unnoticed.

Last steps. He seemed still lost in thought, and you raised up your hands. You were close enough where you could smell him, machine oil as a deep base note, a middle of the musk of his body after his long day at work, overpowered by the scent of the cigar that was lit between his lips. Time for the attack.

Your hands silently moved to his sides, and suddenly, like the predator you pretended to be, placed the tip of your fingers on his sides to tickle him.

[canis-hades]

A Very Creative Solution to the Housing Crisis

Silvia is a nurse. With her lover she rents an apartment in Utrecht, to be able to manage the cost. Her life is far from ideal but she tries to make the best of it all, trying to see the positives amidst the stress and routine.

As she starts to realize how toxic her relationship truly is, she meets Gale, a disheveled man that claims to be from another world. He shows her magic tricks that even her witchy girlfriend cannot seem to perform, even if it involves the unethical theft of many yellow fish. His presence is a fresh wind to her stagnant life, and soon, she finds it is almost hard to breath without him by her side.

A reverse isekai fanfic with Gale set in Utrecht, a city of the Netherlands!

Read it here (or copy this link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57791482/chapters/147090811)

Currently working on the 5th chapter (current published work is 17k) feel free to hype me up ;-)

[canis-hades]

To celebrate the new Resident Evil trailer & the release date dropping, allow me to share this silly but 🌶️ fanfic of Karl Heisenberg 😏

You can leave your hat on

“You could, for a change, oh mighty lord of metal and steel, the iron horse that rules the mighty factory…” You spoke in raised voice to get his attention, only to lower it to an accusing near-whisper “do the fucking dishes at least once.” You crossed your arms as your stared down at the man on the couch, who sat cross-legged and did not seem too impressed by your mini-tirade. After all, he, the king of long-winded villain monologues, could not that easily be intimidated by words alone.

He snickered in response to your request, and crossed his arms, mimicking your stance.

“Well, you know I have a functional dishwasher, right?”

“Wait, we do?” You let your arms fall along your body, feeling defeated somehow. “Since when?”

“Oh, buttercup, is that a wound on your hand?” He suddenly frowned his eyebrows and gestured at your hands.

“No, my hands are fine.” You looked at them making sure there was nothing on your hands.

“See? Functional dishwasher.”

....

Full smutty fanfic (2,960 words) can be found here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36834733

Enjoy! ❤️

[canis-hades]

Commissions open!

I'm opening commissions for a moment! Largely because of two names that may resonate with you: Bane & Bhaal.

Bane and Bhaal are two rescue rats. They came from a very neglectful situation, being kept in a never-cleaned cage in a horse stable with some food thrown at them on occasion. For those without knowledge of rats, this is the opposite of what they need: they need interaction with humans, clean bedding, a stable (not horse-stable) temperature and with too much draft they can get pneumonia - and die.

Had we not picked them up before the winter set in, they would have been released into the wild. Which would have been as cruel a death as the life they had been given.

So we took care for them, gave them a lot of different treats, played with him (feathers on a stick were a favourite to chase and destroy), but they never got over the fear of humans. We cannot touch them or get our hands close. (I have scars still from when I tried to push them too much.) And while we knew this was not ideal, now this has become an issue.

Both of them are really sick. One has cancer; the other has become lethargic. They will be put to sleep tomorrow (Wednesday 3rd of June).

With the rats we can handle and are friendly to humans, this simply means an injection while we hold them. But they are so aggressive to human hands- it'll be a more complex procedure. Complex, means expensive.

So, in order to compensate for these costs, I would love to bring your fanfic idea to life!

Just let me know your idea and how much you're willing to spend, and we'll work out what my fanfic-fingers can do for you in return.

I don't expect donations, but my ko-fi link is here:

Thank you for considering, and if you don't want or can help out, please consider a reblog! ❤️

[canis-hades]

A Garden of my Own

The first in my fanart inspiration series!

In this fic we find ourselves with Astarion. It is after the events of BG3, on a warm Baldurian night. Will you join him in his poison garden, as drawn by DrawingInAGarden (IG)?

"Nobody had to expect anything more than that this place was just full of exotic plants. A researcher, a wizard perhaps, or a nobleman with a hobby. It was hard to keep everyone away. But the few thieves with ill intent made for an easy midnight snack. He took no pity with those who miscalculated the danger of his little garden."

Find the whole fic here!

[canis-hades]

Gale dinner~ (recipe in progress)

In my fanfic, our favourite wizard gets to our world without meaning to. Stuck, surviving in a place where magic runs thin and needing to get back to the surface of Faerun. How easy is it to get someone to trust you when you don't speak their language and know little of their culture?

His bets are on Silvia, a nurse. In one chapter he ends up cooking for her after saving her. Fear makes one hungry, after all.

I made up the food he made. Different realm means different ingredients, which means different food and recipes. I've got to work on the recipe some more, but I hope to work up your appetite and curiosity a little for my fic. Give it a little (eye)bite?

The first 4 chapters of "A Very Creative Solution to the Housing Crisis" can be found here!:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57791482/chapters/147090811

[canis-hades]

I've got a few works in progress and a nice little excel sheet to keep track. But there is space on that list still! So do reach out with your artworks.

Know I'm not asking for money for this, but also know I'm not in the market for paying commissions. I've got various people offering to draw something for a price. It's a bit tiring on my side, and I don't really have the money for it. Labour of love, you know!

I'm starting a little fanfic series where I write about YOUR BG3 fanart!

Do you have a piece that speaks to the imagination? A still of a larger story?

Or, do you know an artwork like that?

Send me a message or drop your suggestion in my ask-box, and I'll try to write a (short) fanfic with the art as inspiration!

[canis-hades]

I'm starting a little fanfic series where I write about YOUR BG3 fanart!

Do you have a piece that speaks to the imagination? A still of a larger story?

Or, do you know an artwork like that?

Send me a message or drop your suggestion in my ask-box, and I'll try to write a (short) fanfic with the art as inspiration!

[canis-hades]

This was the first fanfic competition I've joined, it was so fun to do!

Thank you, everyone who left a comment on my work, and Izz for organizing this competition and creating such inspiring art <3

Jaheira x Astele FanFic Contest Results

✨(this is a long post)✨

First off, huge thanks to everyone who wrote, voted, read, and shared these stories. This was the first contest I’ve ever hosted and, of course, I chose the most niche ship, but you all delivered!

I can’t express how much I loved your submissions. Each one is wonderful and unique in its own way.

I want to give love to every fic, because honestly, I adored each one for different reasons:

💖Stay by Canis_Hades I adored the soft, tender feel of this story, like a deep, relaxing breath after a long road. You captured quiet peace so beautifully, and it hit all the right notes. I loved the mesmerising calm and the quiet yearning you gave the characters..

💖Jaheira and Astele (Jaheira x Astele) by Astrea LaFae Gorgeous introspection and layered emotion. You showed us Jaheira’s heart with so much care and clarity. I loved the depth and honesty in every line.

💖Stakeout by Lark (thecubspeaks on Tumblr) This fic was so sharp and FUN. The banter absolutely crackled, and the setting was brilliant. You nailed the chemistry and the grin-worthy moments honouring the characters in the most delicious way. I loved the energy!

💖Sweetness captures honeybees in time by TheEclecticLibrarian (marigoldbaker on Tumblr) What blew me away about this fic was its subtle, steady story with a deeply rewarding romantic payoff. You gave us love built on survival and trust, and it felt so true to the characters. I loved the softness with an edge and the dreamlike quality of the imagery.

Thank you again for making this so much fun! I hope you enjoyed taking part as much as I enjoyed hosting. ____________________________________________

💚💥And now… the RESULTS! 💥💚

🥇 First Place (Tied!), with 7 votes each:

 🎉Stakeout and 🎉Jaheira x Astele

Both Lark and Astrea LaFae will receive the A4 19 Fingers print and a choice of one A5 Jaheira print.

____________________________________

🥈 Second Place, with 4 votes: 🎉Stay

 Canis_Hades will receive their choice of A5 Jaheira prints.

____________________________________

🥉 Third Place, with 3 votes: 🎉Sweetness captures honeybees in time

TheEclecticLibrarian will also receive their choice of A5 Jaheira prints.

____________________________________

I genuinely feel like all of these fics were excellent, and I loved reading every single one.

Therefore, since I only have two A4 19 Fingers prints, I’ve decided to bump the 2nd and 3rd place winners up to 2× A5 prints (instead of one), if possible. Winners of 1st place will get first pick of the prints.

I’ll be contacting all the winners (that’s ALL OF YOU!) by email to arrange postage.

Thank you again for sharing your amazing work!

And now, have a look at the comments from the readers:

⚔ Stakeout: What did you love most about this fic? 

The intricate rituals and the ambiguity of the last sentence (what KIND of work, ladies?).

They were all great but this one had a great balance between description and dialogues, and their conversation was interesting, sweet and fun. Very in character. Congrats to all!

I liked the banter between Jaheira and Astele and how the moment pictured in the art was made to be both competitive and vulnerable. It fit the characters and their relationship well, I thought 

pre-relationship flirty restrained insane indecipherable energy is peak NF/Jaheira, let no one say otherwise 🏓

This is the funniest and heartwarming fic of these two ever

The humour

______________________________________________________________

⚔ Jaheira and Astele ⚔️ 🌹: What did you love most about this fic? 

I love the way the author captured both Jaheira and Astele!

it lends itself beautifully to the setting in the print: the aching, longing, comfort, and intimacy. a touch of romance amid the chaos. a stolen moment in time. delightful! intriguing! is there a sequel? 👀

I loved how vividly the emotions between Jaheira and Astele were portrayed, it felt like the illustration came to life 

___________________________________________________________

⚔ Stay: What did you love most about this fic? 

I love how the author has fully leaned into the romantic vibe without making it cheesy. It felt so natural and bittersweet. 

The flow of the writing style

The yearning is real

So cute! 

______________________________________________________________

⚔ Sweetness captures honeybees in time: What did you love most about this fic? 

It was really well written!! 

Aside from excellent characterisation, the prose feels like it captures the dreamy, slightly surreal vibe of the picture itself. 

Thank you! From Izz

P.S. I will also put the 19 Fingers print on my RedBubble soon, if anyone is interested in getting one!

P.S.S. Come and join Tracy's / THE one and only JAHEIRA secret stream tomorrow via Twitch! Don't tell anyone I said this.

[canis-hades]

(re)Introduction!

Hello those-who-still-follow-me,

In case you don't remember following a hell hound, my previous username was Wait-What-Pancakes. Usernames are allowed to retire after a while, I think. And let's be honest- Latin sounds a lot cooler than pancakes do. Hopefully it will rub off on me as a person ;-)

Anyway! I am reviving this account mainly to share my writings. I have a few long fanfics I am working on. Many of them make it to Archive of Our Own. But I like and miss the interaction with community, and IG is not always the place for that.

Currently I am very much into Baldur's Gate, Resident Evil (Village), Dungeons and Dragons in general (I am a DM, I know, what a stereotype) and love reading fiction about high fey and African mythology based fantasy.

I might also post some cosplay pictures on here- Perhaps Tumblr is insane enough to host like-minded Abdirak (BG3) enthusiasts.

Feel free to drop a suggestion for a long or short fic in my inbox. Would also love to find artists, of words or of the (digital) pencil, to collab with. I would like to write about your artwork, it is a rewarding challenge!

Love, Gina

My AO3 can be found here!

[canis-hades]

[canis-hades]

It's quite something to have this post slap you in the face after dusting off the Tumblr app after years thinking "Hey, maybe I should upload some of my content here too"

writing fanfiction is just. i’m being so creative and original. i’m plagiarizing everyone by accident. i’m a genius. i’m cringe. i’m too angsty. i’m too cheesy. this is not in character. it doesn’t matter that it’s not in character because these are my characters now. i love my hobby. this is the worst possible use of my time. i’m seeking validation. i’m projecting my own personal problems onto this story and i’m barely hiding it. i know so many words and i’m using all of them wrong. im on tumblr posting about it instead of writing it.

[canis-hades]

Two pictures that were taken of me in my Lady Dimitrescu cosplay at the Elf Fantasy Fair in the Netherlands this month.

I edited the bucket to be yellow instead of red, as if Heisenberg had painted it for Ethan, which is my headcanon for all the yellow paint all over the village.

Had so much fun in this cosplay and got recognized a lot!

[canis-hades]