chalantzah

[chalantzah]

helloooo i’ve missed u all so much, im so sorry for the inactivity but i’ve been doing my exams and they’re going on until wednesday unfortunately, but then im done for the summer and will be active again, please give me a week or two and i’ll be back asap

[chalantzah]

i just wanted to say that i loooved friendly fire and your writing is so perfect!!!!

thank u beautiful, i needed this rn 🥹

[chalantzah]

bro uses chatgbt to write their fics it’s so obvious 😭😭😭

lmao this is just disrespectful, id never plagiarise my work or use ai to write it??

id address this in a more nicer way if it wasnt a straight up embarassinf accusation, bc if i used ai then id post a whole lot more than i do lol my posts take days of planning and hours of writing.

[chalantzah]

FRIENDLY FIRE

oneshot requested by : @caramia-mara

´when every chronically online persons two worlds collide - collab stream´

the stream starts like most slushynoobz chaos: martin in the middle of an unhinged monologue and hamzah pretending he doesn’t know either of you.

“hello stream,” martin says, already waving the camera around like it’s a documentary film, “today is a milestone. maybe even a moment in history. she’s here. not a discord bubble. not a voice on a headset. god is a woman and she is real.”

you’re already seated, sipping something cold, perfectly unbothered. you offer the camera an enthusiastic grin to match martins energy back to him.

“you’re doing a lot, too much” you say.

“it’s deserved,” martin replies, shaking his head and taking a bow to you and all your apparent glory.

“you have no idea how long chat’s been waiting for this.”

“i’m literally just here to play mario party.”

“sure,” he says. “sure you are.”

"what does that even mean?" you laugh off to the side,

hamzah mutters, “okay, stream peaked. turn it off.”

you glance over with an eyebrow raise. “well hello to you too.”

“i said hi earlier.”

“saying ‘yo’ while staring at your phone doesn’t count.” you fight back, slightly joking but also not, confused by hamzahs genuine attitude,

“so you wanna argue, or play the game?” he snaps instantly.

he hasn’t looked at you once since you sat down, which would maybe mean something if he didn’t rearrange the entire living room setup this morning to make sure you had the “comfiest spot.” (his words. muttered. while looking at the floor.)

martin’s already mugging for the camera. twitch chat is a wall of chaos.

chat: “LMAO HAMZAH CANNOTTTTT MAKE EYE CONTACT”“he’s so weird rn i love it”“the way she’s just chill about it tho?? queen”"girl is he bothering you?"

the game boots up. martin claims he’s choosing teams at random, but somehow you end up seated between them. naturally. you don’t mind. the energy’s easy, and you’ve streamed with them enough to know the rhythm by heart.:

martin’s ongoing commentary, hamzah’s casual insults, the chat’s perpetual meltdown. it’s a specific dynamic. it works.

but in person, it’s a little different. realer. better.

especially when hamzah keeps doing things like passing you the exact brand of drink you mentioned offhand, mid conversation once, months ago.

you take it without making a big deal out of it. “you remembered this?”

he shrugs. “you talk a lot.”

“so do you. and i don’t remember your favorite drink.” you tilt your head with a chuckle.

“mine’s easier.” he replies in monotone.

“is it?”

he doesn’t reply, which is fine. martin is already throwing a look at the camera, as if he’s saying "did you see that too?"

chat:“the way he puts on this whole non chalant persona just to ruin it by specifically buying her favorite brand of mf WATER.”“this is literally a romcom but he thinks he’s the cool one lmao”“chat never forgets”

you’re winning. casually. just enough to keep the banter alive. hamzah’s competitive, but quietly. not trash-talking you loud like martin, just relentless.

but today, he keeps getting distracte, missing easy jumps, second guessing timing, adjusting his headset even though it’s completely fine and basically glued onto his head.

at one point of the stream, you flinch at an unexpected pop up in the game, more from the sound than anything on the actual screen. but before you can even register it, there’s a hand on your shoulder.

his.

just briefly. like muscle memory. like he forgot the context and thought he was alone. it’s gone in a second.

you turn your head toward him, then regretting it, thinking maybe you should've pretended to ignore it.

he doesn’t look back, just feels you turn.. “you jumped.”

“you put your hand me.” you recall.

“reflex.” he snaps

“it’s mario party.”

“you flinched.”

you lean back slightly, amused with a chuckle. “you good?”

“great,” he says, shrugging his shoulder as if he didn't just act obnoxious and slightly out of character.

martin actually pauses the game. “nah. pause. run that back. did anyone else see that?”

chat definitely saw it.

chat: “I have some innapropriate things to say about protective hamzah.” “hamzah’s version of ‘reflex’ is concerningly soft” “blink twice if you’re repressing and ignoring feelings bro”

the game resumes. martin is doing everything short of narrating your interactions like a national geographic special. chat’s theories have just multiplied after this stream, and martins livestream call-out.

you just keep playing. you’re used to hamzah being.. a little strange. not like this, but the general branding of it.

later, somewhere between rounds, martin throws a look between the two of you and goes, “so… is this how it’s gonna be the whole stream, or are we atleast try to acknowledging what’s happening?”

“what’s happening,” you echo, straight-faced, as you roll your lips into your mouth.

hamzah just shakes his head, doesn’t even pretend to be subtle.

“so nothing’s happening?” martin reverts.

“exactly,” both you and hamzah say in sync, bluntly.

it’s almost impressive, the perfect harmony, with the energy of two people who have absolutely talked for seven hours straight at 2 a.m playing video games. and will absolutely decide to never to talk about those seven hours again.

martin leans forward, hands clasped like a therapist about to ask a life-ruining question. “you guys practiced that or…”

you and hamzah say “no” at the exact same time.

chat: “THEY’RE LIKE THE SAME PERSON IT’S CREEPY” “hamzah’s whole persona with her is ‘i don’t care’ while deeply caring” “she’s just chilling and he’s melting down quietly”

the rest of the stream runs like that- tense in a way no one will admit to, but it makes the air feel thicker by the second,

hamzah’s less dismissive now, but not less present. he keeps glancing your way and catching himself. every time you laugh, chat lights up. every time he says something under his breath and you catch it, chat goes even more nuclear.

the cameras eventually go off. the room is quieter without the lights.

you stretch, unplug your mic, and glance down at hamzah, who’s still fiddling with his controller like it didn’t glitch out an hour ago.

“fun stream,” you say, casually.

he nods. “yeah.”

his foot taps yours as you walk past. not hard. not even on purpose, probably.

but you feel it.

you don’t say anything.

he doesn’t either.

but you’re both thinking the same thing:

this is definitely not going to blow over quietly.

and chat? chat’s already writing the sequel in the comments, you both are sure going to have a joyful time explaining yourselves to twitter later.

view request here

idk how to feel about this, will probs be edited tomorrow!! it honestly may be tooooo angsty and not enough fluff so it kinda gets me mad..

taglist : @shegiaa @cherrieluvrr @caramia-mara @marixoa @valluvsu @78kate-blog @pictureperfectblue @aalanahh0 @noturbabe22 @martiniibluee07 @mopslusher @ladylincoln @officialthrad @urfavblonde27 @infinitefireflies @notmeee3 @slicdfo0t @beybeys-world

[chalantzah]

i fear i dont know which one i wanna be more in this current situation.

[chalantzah]

hamzah request who would have guessed.

perhaps something along the lines of idk irl first meet up stream with slushynoobz. a little fluff here maybe some banter that is thrown around but nothing forceful in a lovey dovey idk i don’t even think that makes sense. maybe hamzah could see uninterested in reader in a way that chat and martin sees as something else and it becomes an on going thing as stream goes on. IDK IM DESPERATE K THAN KS BYES

update : posted here

HELLO I LOVE THIS??&&?&? hopefully i can get this out by tomorrow- i will prioritise this request bc of personal preference and i’d love to write something where its not just an infatuated bf!hamzah.

for this im picturing like an awkward, angsty dynamic between hamzah & reader.

SIDE NOTE: as much as i love hamzah texts i fear our community is too focused on them so i will be prioritising imagine/oneshot requests over online hamzah texts!!! but no matter what keep sending them all in and they’ll get done eventually🤍💌🤍🤍💌💌💌🤍

[chalantzah]

take your time getting healthy and feeling better! we’ll be here when you get back :) hope you feel better soon ❤️

thank you 🥹🥹 you will be fed soon!!

[chalantzah]

hi guys.. missed me? i’ve taken a few days off because im currently dying sick and just have not been in the mindspace to write bc my immune system is just killing me rn. pls give me a couple days and i’ll be back with many oneshots and messages!! feel free to send requests in- i will gradually get them done soon 🤍🤍

[chalantzah]

current boyfriend?

warnings : fluff, humour

hamzah oneshot

you’re lying on the couch, phone in hand, scrolling through tiktok while hamzah sits beside you, his eyes half-focused on his own screen. it’s just one of those perfect, simple days where nothing urgent needs doing and the whole world feels quiet except for the soft hum of your boyfriends breathing and the occasional sound of his fingers tapping on his phone.

he’s got his airpods in, but you can tell he’s still paying attention to you- his eyes darting over every now and then, probably wondering what you’re up to. you glance over at him, feeling a little smile tug at your lips. then, out of nowhere, you spot the new trend on tiktok- people filming themselves calling their boyfriend “current boyfriend” and filming their reaction. you can’t help but laugh quietly to yourself, imagining hamzah’s awkward reaction.

“wait, i haven’t posted on tiktok in ages, i’m gonna make a quick one,” you say, sitting up a bit and pulling your phone closer. hamzah looks at you with that eyebrow raise that always means he’s suspicious or just mildly impressed.

“you serious?” he asks, pausing his scrolling to look fully at you.

“yeah,” you say, grinning. “just a quick one. i promise.”

he shrugs but there’s amusement in his eyes. “alright, well what’ll you film?”

you flip the camera so it’s facing you both, making sure to catch his reaction too. you hit record and flash a playful smile at the screen.

“hey guys! the entire day i’ve just been hanging out with my current boyfriend- ” hamzah immediately shoots you a sideways glance, blinking like you just said something confusing. current? his expression says it all. but he doesn’t say anything, just quirks an eyebrow at you.

you keep going like it’s nothing. “we’re about to get some food, and my current boyfriend, hamzah said he’d drive, so you ready?” you turn to face him.

hamzah chuckles softly, shaking his head like he can’t believe you’re really doing this. “why do you keep saying that?”

you glance at him, eyes still on the screen, pretending not to hear. “saying what?”

he leans a little closer, voice dropping like he’s about to share a secret. “you know exactly what you’re doing.” he tilts his head too.

you bite your lip to keep from laughing. “honestly, i don’t.”

his eyes narrow playfully. “nah, girl don’t be messing with me. you’re way too calm. this has gotta be a trap.”

you shrug, still filming. “all i said was i’m hanging out with my boyfriend. why make it weird?”

he blinks, clearly trying to figure you out. “no, no you didn’t. you said current boyfriend — like, three times already.”

you put on a confused grin and wave a hand toward the camera. “okay guys, so anyways—” you act like you’re moving on, brushing him off.

“wait, what? come back!” hamzah protests, laughing, and waving a hand infront of your face to look at him.

you flash a bigger smile. “what? i don’t know what you mean.”

he groans dramatically, clutching his chest like you just stabbed him with words. “you’re killing me slowly, you know that?”

you finally stop recording and set your phone down with a loud laugh, not being able to hold it in at your boyfriends hopeless expression. the room feels lighter, charged with this playful tension between you two.

he grabs a pillow and tosses it at you lightly. “go ahead. call me current one more time.”

you catch it, grinning “i still don’t know what’s so bad about me saying that if you’re currently my boyfriend” you say, teasing and seeing how far you can push it.

“nah,i’m not doing this bullshit right now” he laughs, lounging back like he’s unbothered. “you still hungry? we can actually go get food, current girlfriend.” he teases, and leaves a soft kiss on your head.

the end

not proof read!! i wanted to get something out for you guys tonight though, so i will make changes tomorrow if necessary 💌

taglist @aalanahh0 @noturbabe22 @martiniibluee07 @mopslusher @ladylincoln @officialthrad @urfavblonde27 @infinitefireflies @notmeee3 @slicdfo0t @beybeys-world @shytrashpastadream-blog @pictureperfectblue @78kate-blog

[chalantzah]

lessi released ‘same mouth’ today, so who would like a hamzah oneshot based on my fav lyric “you fuck me good all night, but i know its gonna end it tears” 😇😇😇😇

[chalantzah]

more boyfriend Hamzah texts! (put more pics of Hamzah I need him)

gotchu girl tonight

[chalantzah]

your oneshot was so cute!!! i’m obsessed with your writing!!

thank u sm 💌💌💌 more this weekend…?

[chalantzah]

i have two hours of peace before ballet, so what would you like tonight??? p.s pls send me more requests in my inbox.

[chalantzah]

boyfriend!hamzah

| warnings : slushynoobz humour, fluff

- random imessage conversations with your long-term boyfriend part 3

tag list @aalanahh0 @noturbabe22 @martiniibluee07 @mopslusher @ladylincoln @officialthrad @urfavblonde27 @infinitefireflies @notmeee3 @slicdfo0t @beybeys-world @shytrashpastadream-blog @pictureperfectblue

[chalantzah]

no explanation needed

[chalantzah]

IN A WORLD OF BOYS, HE'S A GENTLEMAN

hamzah x clueless reader oneshot

friends?lovers

| warnings include - slushynoobz humour, & fluff

‘ fancy restaraunt mukbang vlog’

“alright, intro time. everyone look good?” martin says, holding the camera up as he films you and hamzah, who is dressed in a navy blazer, with his ‘mama needs a blunt’ shirt peeking out from underneath, topped with none other than cargo pants to really tie the look together, you didn’t fight him on his decision, because to each their own.. but you dressed more appropriately to make up for his joke of an outfit. you wore knee-high boots, a slip dress, and a leather oversized bomber jacket with a print on it’s back.

martins outfit was also unserious- the bottom half included dress pants paired with fancy shoes, while the top half consisted of an emoji print zip-up hoodie, with his ‘find x’ shirt peeking through from underneath the jumper. you all stood next eachother, martin in your left, and hamzah on your right. he pulls you in close, arm around your shoulder, and smiles at the camera to do the intro.

a few minutes of walking pass, and martin dramatically informs the camera that we have finally made it to the restaurant.

“welcome to my crib.” hamzah teases to the camera, leaning on one of the grand pillars that stood close-by to the entrance of the restaurant. the restaurant itself looked like it was a castle worthy of royalty to own. the camera turns to you, letting out a laugh, at hamzah's pun, making him smile to himself.

“boi if all three of us put our money together we couldn't even buy the one of those pillars.” you gesture to the one he’s currently leaning on.

martin’s behind the camera, rolling his eyes at you and your jesting, then flips the camera so it faces him “incase you guys are new here, we aren’t picky eaters around here, so prepare to see some food you guys probably have never seen before because- well- rich people foods aren’t accessible to everyone, and every time you guys subscribe to us, we will plant a tree, because trees make paper, and paper makes money so you guys can be rich one day, just like us.” he rants, making movements with his hands, and giving a sympathetic facial expression to the camera, you and hamzah death stare him and stiffle your laughs- letting martin absorb his embarrassment.

“hey- my reservation was booked under my good friends name, khloe kardashian - is that anywhere in you system?” martin tells the receptionist.

i look at hamzah who’s already covering his mouth with his hand to cover a shocked laugh, pointing the camera to martin.

to both mine and hamzah’s surprise, the woman replies with “yes- table for three- for khloe kardashian...” handing martin the reciept that showed our booking number, booking name, and the table we were assigned.

“bro- why would you do that?” hamzah asks martin, still laughing.

“what? i told you- i read that they charge average people more than celebrities, you gotta do what you gotta do in this economy boi.”

“motherfucker they can tell you’re not khloe .” i emphasise, “yeah well i did say she’s my good friend, never stated that i was her.” martin sassed back, as our waitress walks us towards our table.

after ordering your meals, the camera faces all three of us, the order of seating going: martin, then hamzah, then you.

“you guys are probably wondering why mandy isn’t here, and that’s because she refused to leave the house until its spotless, so while we all eat good food, she’s setting a good example to all women, and cleaning” martin explains making unconvincing faces, and expressions during his explanation. which has me and hamzah nodding convincingly to play along with martins sarcastic, misogony-mocking joke.

the mukbang dinner ends up being a mix of gagging at how inedible some of overpriced dishes are- then seconds later moaning at how good the others were.

another thing that the dinner was full of, was hamzahs touch- he would constantly reach over to the tissue box halfway across your side of the table, when he had many clean napkins sat infront of him, he also enjoyed nudging you with either his shoulder, or knee, when he waiting for you to say your commentary about the food to the camera.

but it was all friendly.. right?

outside, the air is cool, the night dark but not too cold. the camera’s still rolling. martin’s talking to the camera about the “world’s most expensive mukbang in history,” but you’re not really paying attention anymore. your feet are screaming from the boots you chose to wear to fit the aesthetic of the video.

you try to keep up with the two friends, but the shoes are becoming unbearable to the point where it’s not cute and unnoticeable anymore.

hamzah senses your discomfort right away, of course. he turns around and raises an eyebrow.

“hey, you good?”

“yeah, just—” you wince and shift your weight from foot to foot, “these boots are brutal, wearing heels through a 30 minute walk, big big big mistake.”

he looks down at your heels, then at his own sneakers, and smirks. “alright, i got you.”

“what?” you start to protest, but he’s already crouching down, taking off his sneakers. “wait, you’re not serious.” you watch as he slips his feet out of the sneakers. “no you’re lying- you are not walking home barefoot bro.”

“dead serious. and no i’m not gonna be barefoot- give me the heels.”

“no way.” you laugh, but it’s already happening. he’s kneeling next to you and sliding the zip of your boots down, completely unfazed.

you step into his sneakers, feeling immediate relief. they’re way too big for you, but honestly? in this moment they’re the comfiest thing you’ve ever worn.

“how do i look?” he asks, slipping your knee-high boots with a 4” heel on like it’s no big deal. he stands up, wobbling a little but making it look… oddly natural. “dude how did your feet fit into that- theres so much toe space in your sneakers for me.” you ask with genuine wonder.

“oh trust me they do not fit, my toes are all getting compressed into one toe as we speak- but its kinda therapeutic.” he defends- unconvincingly as he coughs to cover his pain.

you throw your head back laughing. “cmon- this is torture to look at just give me-” and right as you begin to beg for your shoes back, hamzah makes a run towards martin who was atleast 20 meters ahead of us by now.

the way this man was running, you would think he just learned how to walk approximately 10 minutes ago.

martin’s behind the camera, trying not to laugh too loud. “this is gold, man- girls get yourself a man who would do this for you.” he flips the camera to show your feet in huge sneakers, alongside hamzah and his new heels. “boyfriend material- am i right?” martin nudges you and winks at the camera. “dude now they’re gonna speculate .” you roll your eyes at him “yeah but more clicks and views!” martin jokes and dances his tongue to the camera.

hamzah either didn’t mind the fact that they would get dating speculations- as he just stayed quiet, or he was too focused on the pain in his feet.

probably the second one though.. yeah?

hamzah then grins, obviously pleased with himself. “content for the people.” he winks.

NOTE i hope u enjoyed my first piece of actual writing, if you guys love this I may possibly turn this into a short series, but right now its just a one shot :)

thank you for reading.

taglist - @aalanahh0 @noturbabe22 @martiniibluee07 @mopslusher @ladylincoln @officialthrad @urfavblonde27 @infinitefireflies @notmeee3 @slicdfo0t @beybeys-world @shytrashpastadream-blog

if you joined my taglist and havent been tagged, please go and like the taglist post from your MAIN blog, or message me from it, as tumblr doesnt allow to tag sideblogs :)

[chalantzah]

hiii i love your texts w/ hamzah fics sm!! i have a question(??) how do you think hamzah would slide into a fellow youtuber’s dms if he liked their content (and them too) :)

hii i love u !!&&!!!!&! i will try to post something like this tonight/ tomorrow!! (my scheduled oneshot is coming in a few hours) 🤍🤍