chaosmushroomsushi

[chaosmushroomsushi]

um update I misread the situation

I um

he asked me out today🤪

no one's ever going to love me

I'm going to live a life full of unrequited feelings

and idk how much more of it I can take

[chaosmushroomsushi]

just a heads up to my fellow writers out there that AO3 is currently fighting off bots commenting on people’s works to tell them that AO3 will delete their fics “due to the works being deprecated”, and the deletion will affect their accounts unless the authors delete the fics themselves first. IT IS A SCAM. AO3 will NOT delete your works. please do NOT fall for these bots!

I’ve been told the reason why these bots are doing this is due to copyright infringement issue where they’re trying to steal your works (possibly to train AI but this is just a guess) ‼️‼️‼️and once you deleted your fics, it will be either very difficult or impossible for you to claim ownership of your own fics when they were already deleted.‼️‼️‼️

a reminder that AO3 will never contact you through your comments section (in case they claim to be one of the moderators). AO3 will only contact you through your email address which you use to register your account, and it will be from AO3’s official handle. not some sketchy ass @

so if you get a comment telling you you should “delete your works to protect your account because AO3 is doing blah blah blah” report that comment. don’t delete your works.

PLEASE DO NOT FALL FOR THESE SCAM.

AO3 IS NOT DELETING WORKS.

DO NOT DELETE YOUR WORKS JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE CLAIMS THEY KNOW SOMETHING.

[chaosmushroomsushi]

you wanna know how I know I'm an aroacespec monster fucker?

I never understood the thing with pyramid head. I thought it was something about the pyramid or something

(I'm demi/greysexual and never paid attention to his body outside the ya know giant pyramid lmfao)

well today I found out that his whole like character thing is the fact that he's a man's conscience and trying to get him to accept that he mercy killed his wife

and all of a sudden I'm like mmm pyramid boy is kinda hot

I finally understand the attraction

and if that isn't so aroacespec coded idk what is

[chaosmushroomsushi]

One of the main problems around people with personality disorders (particularly cluster B), psychotic disorders, OSDD/DID/other CDDs or other stigmatised mental conditions is, well... Everything we do gets put back onto our disorder. Every fault, every misstep, every mistake is used as proof to say that the stigma of us all being horrible people is right.

We can say "not everyone with x disorder harms people, and in fact we're more likely to BE harmed and abused than we are to hurt others" as much as we like--and of course, that's a true statement. But the moment someone with a stigmatised mental illness does something wrong, it's "of course you'd do xyz, you're a narcissist" or "checks out with the psychosis".

Someone with ASPD could cut someone off for any valid reason, but anyone else could spin it into "yeah, that's sociopaths for you". Someone with psychosis could wrongfully accuse someone of something and without being given a chance to apologise, suddenly it's "this is why we don't trust delusional people like you" and you're discredited from here on out. Someone with DID could genuinely forget that their alter had an argument with someone and be trying to sort it out, but no one wants to hear that something was forgotten in the amnesia, so and all they get is "see, people with DID just blame everything on their alters".

People with stigmatised disorders are just like anyone else. They're not evil or uniquely capable of harm, but that also means they're not incapable of making mistakes. Everyone is entitled to their own limits but I think people need to be more aware that disabled people can make genuine mistakes and one slip up or argument doesn't mean that pwNPD is secretly manipulating you. Sometimes people are manipulative and you need to be able to tell the difference--just like neurotypicals, disabled people can be abusive. But blaming mistakes or even genuine malice on someone's disorder does nothing but harm a marginalised group of people. If you wouldn't say "of course you would, you're neurotypical" to someone abusing someone else or if that wouldn't make sense to you, why would you do it to disabled people?

[chaosmushroomsushi]

The whole, "K*lling urself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" bullshit is spouted by the ignorant lucky ones who have only had temporary problems. Some people's problems are permanent so maybe try offering actual help and support to them rather than regurgitating an overused phrase that means nothing to people with real struggles.

[chaosmushroomsushi]

fellow narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths,

we're going to hear those words being thrown around a lot over the next few years. more than we already do, which is not an insubstantial amount. i want you to remember that you are not monsters, or fascists, or scum.

as more and more people throw around diagnoses they do not care to understand and words that they do not see as harmful, i want you all to remember that you are not alone and that the entire world is not against you.

there are people out there who care and understand and are not afraid. you are not alone, and you are not unloved.

dont let them make you fearful of yourself, you deserve so much better than that.

stay safe

[chaosmushroomsushi]

"let's not be ableist!", "every mental illness should be respected" and "using slurs, especially ones that based on illnesses is wrong!" people after they call every abusive and evil person they met "narcissist", "psychopath" and "sociopath":😂👍

[chaosmushroomsushi]

I know I'm unlovable, I just sometimes like to pretend that I'm not

[chaosmushroomsushi]

im so tired of being obsessed with people who dont care about me

[chaosmushroomsushi]

I did my best to be lovable.

[chaosmushroomsushi]

loving me is like watering a dead flower

[chaosmushroomsushi]

Call me manipulative, but I want someone to reach their hand out to me when I start to walk away.

I want to feel like I'm worth running after. I want to feel like I'm wanted.

[chaosmushroomsushi]

its so hard to believe someone could love me. im always always too much or too little. never enough.

[chaosmushroomsushi]

Having empathy is morally neutral. Not having empathy is morally neutral. Having high empathy is morally neutral. Having low empathy is morally neutral.

Empathy is not what makes you a good or bad person. Actions do, feeling don't.

[chaosmushroomsushi]

kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want

[chaosmushroomsushi]

no one's ever going to love me

I'm going to live a life full of unrequited feelings

and idk how much more of it I can take

[chaosmushroomsushi]

growing up is terrifying i wasn’t supposed to make it this far and now my future depends on me and i have to make wise choices and decisions and i’m just sitting here like a clueless little kid