closetheshutter - Tumblr blog

[closetheshutter]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[closetheshutter]

Go.

[closetheshutter]

[closetheshutter]

In memory of you today! <3 I love you. I miss you. SO MUCH <3 

You Were There

I was sitting on the floor. I looked up and a familiar face. It was you. You were there. Your kind eyes, with that warm smile. Your red work shirt and glasses. Black and grey hair. It was you. You were there. Being introduced but I knew you already. It was hard to keep my hands steady. Handshakes and hugs exchange. Can’t believe it’s my chance. Your eyes met mine. Smiling ear to ear with arms open wide. It was you. You were there. My heart sank as I see your face. Feels as if life had been ripped out of my body. It was you. You were there. Realization of reality set in. Crippling panic and sadness overwhelms me. All eyes on me now. Your face so clear as day. What am I supposed to say? It was you. You were there. You were just a dream.

By: Jessica Bruce January 8, 2016 2:28am

In memory of Jay Martinez. Rest In Peace.

I love you always and forever and miss you everyday. I love being able to see you in my dreams. This time I woke up crying and screaming because even in my dream I knew it wasn’t you. For the split few seconds when I saw you again I was filled with a happiness I can’t describe. I came to hug you and your face changed to someone else’s. To say I was devastated is an under statement. Even in my dream I was having an anxiety attack. I woke up and tears were pouring down my face, I was shaking, and I think I even screamed a tiny bit. Not too sure on the screaming though. Fuck. I miss you, Jay. Thank you for the quick visit though. Had to write this out because I was filled with so much sadness I couldn’t go back to sleep. Feeling better now that I wrote it out. You are always in my heart. Keep visiting me when you can. I love you. Xoxo.

[closetheshutter]

“If everything around you seems dark, look again, you might be the light.” - Rumi . . I have been in a really long funk of depression and just utterly terrible self-consciousness. I have been feeling disconnected to my intuition and just low energy. 🥱 I am a woman of the 🌞, 🌎, and 🌊. I LOVE BEING IN NATURE. THE BEACH IS MY HOME. 💙🏝 It’s where I go to talk with myself and find out what is going on. Tuning in & letting new versions emerge while letting old skin shed. I wasn’t giving myself the attention I desperately needed. I was staying inside and being a hermit crab like Cancer’s can be sometimes ♋️ THAT’S OKAY. That is what I needed for awhile to let the acceptance of my old self die and let a new version of myself be born. #REBIRTH 🙏🏼✨👼🏼 After taking time for myself...I AM FEELING ALIVE AGAIN!! One of the hardest things to do for yourself is to let yourself experience FEELINGS. No matter how sad, difficult, happy, joyful, or confusing as they might be. Feelings are complex. We can’t see or identify them with our eyes. It’s internal. We sense them like magic. 🔮🧿 When we ignore them we throw off our natural balance with the energy around us. Thus, causing deep confusion. (For myself, at least) I’ve always been a complex individual. I have always been told it’s a negative part of myself by people who don’t understand or haven’t experience the things I have in my life. That’s okay, I’m glad those people don’t have the same experiences as I do. They don’t have the same issues I try to manage on a daily basis. FOR MYSELF....SELF CARE IS MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. ✅ I spend my days checking in with my mind. Asking myself how I can be better, all of the time. How to genuinely be there for others at the same time. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes but I always try to fix them. One thing I realized that helped my get out of my funk was I need to the leader of this shift. Recognize my feelings, make peace with them through acceptance, be gentle with myself, and believe in myself. ✨ It took 2 days of being real with myself and deep focus. Once I held space for myself, I felt so much better! **continued in comments** (at Santa Monica, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9SZk0QlEJe/?igshid=1ejsx3ac1vc2x

[closetheshutter]

Moody by Kyle Loftus

[closetheshutter]

[closetheshutter]

If Hagrid is a half giant his parents must have had some weird sex

[closetheshutter]

[closetheshutter]

[closetheshutter]

Thanksgiving morning I awoke from a vision of knowing I’m taking my life for granted. A realization that hit me like a ton of bricks in the face. I realized I really needed to change my view on life. I spend so much time trying to be positive and happy or at least portray that to others that I realized....I’m just spending a lot of time sweeping my darkness under the rug for later or to pretend it’s not there out of fear. Since I was young I’ve had really bad anxiety and depression. Decisions I’ve made have only enhanced them from mistrusting others I chose to let into my bubble. I don’t leave when I should because I try and see potential in other people and focus on bringing out their “good” that I lose sight of myself and what’s good for me. I’ve been spending the past 2 years taking 10 steps forward and some times 50 steps backwards. A constant game of back and forth. Thinking I’m doing so great and then BOOM, something happens and I’m back on the floor picking myself back up. But that’s growth, right? Getting through uncomfortable situations and coming out a better version of yourself! The past 2 years have been hard, and also pretty rewarding! I’ve been looking inward to help myself heal, grow, manifest, love, and trust. 🙏🏼✨❤️ My recent journey has been rough. Series of extreme panic attacks, anxiety, periods of time being a hermit crab and not talking to people for days/weeks, lack of motivation to workout, learning to be vulnerable, crying a lot, and also periods of happiness, laughing, growing, speaking my truth, and learning so many new things about myself! There has definitely been reward in pain and I have welcomed it all with open arms, even at times when I was terrified. Because I am ready to be the very best ME that I can be. I’m ready to let go of what no longer serves me. Who knows if this journey will be long or short, but fearing the unknown is something I no longer want to feel. We only have one life on this beautiful planet and I’ve taken mine for granted for too long. How I will change that? I will do my best every day to change my mindset for the better and work on obtaining my goals and dreams! I challenge you all to do the same (at Santa Monica, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqwSKARlqhr/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=16jwufsylsbp1

[closetheshutter]

Life is too short to do anything else. 🤘🏼💯 . . . #life #truth #yolo #whocares #doyouboo #beyourself #foryourhealth #grow #love #selflove #yourvibeattractsyourtribe #positivevibes #fuckthehaters #onelife #onelove #pushlove #calibis #itsamovement #bekind #reachforthestars #goals #goalcrusher #photography #photographer #dreams #dreamcatcher #headinthecloud #liveyourbestlife #keepit100 #grind #allday #everyday #dontquit #keepyourheadup (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqQLJjclh0R/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=f7vlss6avs6e

[closetheshutter]

We must choose wisely, love. 💖 . . . #postivequotes #positivevibes #overthenegativity #savethedramaforyourmama #lol #yougotthis #mature #mindovermatter #mentalhealth #loveyourself #selflovequotes #frameofmind #love #sunnysideoflife #goals #struggle #growth #overcome #smallcircle #bjj #keepgoing #dontgiveup #allinthistogether #californiastateofmind (at Venice Boardwalk, CA) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpuuuLVh0vg/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5540af2wv8vx

[closetheshutter]

First day off in over a month and I spent the entire day indulging in #selfcare and listening to my intuition. In doing so, I had the BEST day in what seems like forever. ✨ Tapping into your own energy and letting it guide you is an incredible power to feel. Even when making the smallest decisions throughout the day. Listen to what your heart, mind, and soul are telling you. Once you let your energy flow freely, you can manifest your deepest desires. 💖☯️ I have been doing so much growing in past couple years, let alone this past month and a half. Seeing little changes within myself is so inspiring to me. (Yes, that’s right...I’m inspired by myself) 💯💁🏼‍♀️ To feed my soul & replenish expelled energy, I NEED alone time. Time away from the world around me and listen to what my body needs. (the beach is my go-to!🏝🌞) By doing just that I was able to accomplish something I’ve never done before that I’m pretty stoked about! For the first time ever in my 3 years of training Jiu Jitsu, I was able to submit my partner in a Triangle choke. 💪🏼😁🤙🏼 <—literally my excitement haha. (So many other beautiful things came about throughout my self care day but that was the only one I wanted to share.) Then I took my happy & accomplished ass to the BEACH and soaked up some rays while it’s a whomping 80 degrees here in Santa Monica! 🌞 Hope your weekend started off with a bang like mine did! 😜 #selflove #enlightened #staywoke #loveyourself #energy #sunshine #beach #liveyourbestlife #weekendvibes #laplaya #intuition #sunset #jiujitsu #bjj #bjjgirls #bjjlifestyle #bjjmotivation #santamonica #trianglechoke #accomplishments #yasqueen #womenempowerment #women #light #fitbabe #fitnessmotivation #mentalhealth #fitlife #igotthis #ocean #smilelikeyoumeanit #bestday (at Santa Monica, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpLNK0tD_3q/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ag4yo2r50sag

[closetheshutter]

You learn a lot about yourself in moments of discomfort.🐛 • • I am always learning, always growing, always challenging myself to be the best version of myself that I can be. I’m in the process of healing. In the process of soul searching. In the process of discovering my light. ✨ • • I feel a shift in my heart. 💖 Where this shift will take me is unknown; but the beauty of it all is...I’m metamorphosing into my true form. 🦋 . . . #light #energy #omnilove #yourvibeattractsyourtribe #positivevibes #selflove #loveyourself #metamorphosis #bethelight #love #beauty #growth #strength #mindovermatter #stability #positive #goodvibes #sunday #transformation #healing #sunshine #forever #beyourself #fuckthehaters #letitgo #therapy #yolo #liveyourbestlife #yougotthis #bestfriends #spiritual #connection (at Santa Monica, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bop23FZh8vR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12eqbv4tl82xa

[closetheshutter]

✨I, I’ve searching for something I, I can’t begin to imagine If you could show me what’s behind those eyes I think I’d find the light I A M A W A N D E R I N G S O U L ✨ • • • • #wanderingsoul #letsgethirie #hirievibes #hirie @hiriemusic @hirievibes #soul #light #energy #omnilove #yourvibeattractsyourtribe #positivevibes #beachday #cancer #ocean #saltwater #goodvibrations #bikiniseason #summervibes #goodvibes #feelgood #beyou #behappy #selflove #alonetime #tanning #gym #motivation #fitbabe #fitnessmodel #bootybootybooty #legsfordays #beachbabe #breathe #music (at Santa Monica, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnt6qtvBwks/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=r68tfxltbsgm

[closetheshutter]

when you’re watching dora the explorer and swiper actually swipes something