countessofwisdom

[countessofwisdom]

i wanna talk about this shot

[countessofwisdom]

{18Trip} The Homescreen Voice Lines Vault

Collection of all the voice lines I have translated on my Twitter account. Uploading it on here for archival purposes.

Note: A lot of them were made to fit the Twitter character limit, sometimes they're a bit freestyled.

Mostly Raito oriented, with some others thrown in the mix.

Chihiro: Raiting, you spend a lot of time watching vids, don'tcha~ What channels got you hooked?

Raito: Let me see, channels all about information over ramen and the occult stuff like Muu☆Tan's are vital to me.

Raito: Kuguri, you can do what you want but, have you considered to stop sleeping naked from time to time? No doubt you'll catch a cold.

Kuguri: I'd prefer for you to leave me be. A certain Someone who can't properly wake up in the morning has no right to police others on how they sleep.

Raito: According to this scripture of taboos that I procured on my own, it appears that Pandora's Box will open up again soon. The theory of hope remaining at the bottom is plausible but, let's just wait and see...

Akuta: Uugh... I can't... I can't go on like this anymore.... Raito-san, please do the usual thing again tonight!!

Raito: A hopeless guy, aren't you... Got it, I'll take care of you. I will... feed you the best late night ramen that there is.

Netaro: Raito~! Trouble's afoot! There's hearsay of a unfamiliar flickering luminant body appearing behind the dormitory~!

Raito: What!? An unidentified flying object, in other words!? We must unravel its true identity! Let's go right away, Netaro!

Kuguri: Sometimes Nanaki looks at me cutely and pleads for advice on composing music. Well, my involvement is limited to hearing him out and giving a nudge, however.

Kuguri: I don't disagree with your way of living, Ten... It smells sweet, exclusively so. How about we go on a drive together again sometime.

Ten: Aha, it's an honor to get invited by someone like Kuguri-san~ I don't mind the kinda relations where you stay outta each others affairs either.

Chihiro: Geez~! Taotao, you play Anigun way too much! Didn't you like promise you'd go shopping with Chii today! And here I sat looking forward to it~!

Tao: Sorry. To think there'd be an event out of nowhere... I'll buy you some pudding as apology. So let's go shopping. Okay?

Akuta: Like, during flower viewing... adults do /that/, right... Y'know... the thing... s- s- s- strip rock paper scissors....!

"yakyuuken" is a Japanese game on based rock paper scissors, where the loser ends up stripping.

Akuta: Ten-san, I heard you talking to a woman on the phone earlier, but is she for real... wrapped around your finger!? Like both hands all over a beaut and...!

Ten: Aha, the hell man. Don't slander me. She's just a plain ol' friend. Maybe you're still too young for this though~?

Akuta: That freakin' Kiroku, he put a kinda bracelet that girls would wear in his desk. Ah, wonder if he's like also doing the do with her...

Ushio: Oi Stupidtake, record what I make all you want but don't snatch food while i'm not looking. You itching to get banned or something?

Akuta: Geh... got caught, huh... I regret my actions! Please spare me from being exiled! Oh great god from heavens above Ushio-samaaa~!

Nanaki: Kugunii, come over whenever you feel like it again. I'm sure Dad, Mom and Big Bro all are eager to see you.

Kuguri: Perhaps so. ...I'll go if the mood strikes me.

Nanaki: Spring is the season of encounters, huh... I already have crossed paths with my G.O.A.T though.

GOAT: Gen Z slang, means "Greatest Of All Time".

Ushio: Listen Murakumo-san, I know you're fooling around, but can you please refrain from putting any weird ideas into the younger guys' heads?

Ten: Oh-hoh~ look at you sounding all cool there. Dunno what you mean with "weird ideas" though.

Ushio: ....I curse the freaking guy who dared to use my shampoo without permission to go bald from losing 10 hairs every second...!

Ryui: Toi, your hair's sticking out. Here, sit still. I'll fix it to make it pretty.

Toi: Wah... Thank you dearest Big Bro. My beloved Big Bro really is the coolest in the whole wide world... My heart's skipping a beat...

Toi: A mature seductiveness like Yodaka-san's... How can i end up having that too? I'm jealous, you see.

Yodaka: Fufu, but Toi. Don't you have your own kind of charm that I lack. I admit I'm also envious on that front.

[countessofwisdom]

Kafka Oguro Ward Mayor Novel - Mother's Code: Season 1, Track 5 - The Treasure By My Side

I knock on the door, and the boy from back then—my precious childhood friend, Chief-chan—comes into view.

“I got this year’s present and solved the last key. Will you watch it with me?”

Chief-chan understands my intentions as soon as I ask, and lets me into his room.

“You already solved Rinka-san’s problem?” he asks as he pours us both a cup of tea.

“I do it every year, after all. But Mom must have underestimated me, because I’m getting faster at solving them every year. It should’ve been harder this time.”

Since Chief-chan is preparing the tea, I choose some snacks, knowing what's expected of me. His family travels a lot, and they send him all kinds of souvenirs. If we don’t eat them together like this, he just leaves them to pile up.

“But man, Rinka-san's amazing. She arranged for you to receive presents at the same time each year, even long after she’s passed.”

“She may have been my mother, but I couldn’t tell you what she was thinking when she made all these arrangements.”

Once our tea and snacks are ready, we sit down next to each other and I start up my laptop.

Chief-chan seems more nervous than me, with how hard he's staring at the screen.

A screen appeared in front of us, asking to input the final password.

“It says to enter the rest after “M…” Huh, what even is it?”

“Mais cette question nous entraînerait trop loin.”

As soon as I answer, Chief-chan asks, “That’s French, right?”, just as you’d expect of someone who’s travelled all over.

“It means… ‘However, this question will carry us to an answer much further away’.”

Those were the final words in a paper attempting to understand the shape of the world, published by Henri Poincaré in 1904.

… This question will carry us to an answer much further away.

Perhaps what Poincaré was trying to solve… was something closer to the secrets of the world my mother often spoke of.

“An answer much further away, huh? That sounds kinda like a journey.”

I agree with him as I type the final letters in.

The hologram that had unfolded in front of our eyes disappears, and a movie starts playing in its place.

My smiling mother, who looked just like me before she died, appears in front of us.

“Happy birthday, Kafka. I take this to mean you’re still alive. …Meaning the operation was a success. I won this bet then.”

“What’s with that, I was betting I’d survive too, you know.”

When I snap back at my mother in the video, Chief-chan starts laughing beside me.

I really enjoy this atmosphere.

“I assume that by now you’ve taken over as Mayor of Ward 0 from you-know-who. Perhaps you have your own company, too. I do wonder whether he’ll be able to maintain the Special Tourism Wards even after I’ve passed… It must’ve felt like you took over right before everything came crashing down, didn’t it?”

My mother spoke as if she saw it all happen, and Chief-chan quietly praised her, saying that’s to be expected of her.

Well, it is a fact that she was very smart.

For a while after, my mother spoke about all kinds of trivialities, such as my father, her own hobbies and research, and her memories of me. She even talked about what the weather was like on the day she filmed theis video.

After a certain point, however, my mother stopped to look at me with a serious look in her eyes.

“All that aside, here is my question: There are variables in our reality that we can never fully predict, no matter how much thought we put into them. Those variables are what make life so enjoyable. … Do you have something you treasure by your side right now?”

My mother’s eyes sparkle through the screen.  I felt as if she could see right through me and expose the truth.

“Something you treasure?”

Instead of responding to Chief-chan’s innocent question, I let out a soft chuckle before silently answering.

… I do.

He’s right next to me. My treasure.

Regardless of whether she knows the answer, my mother, in the video, smiles.

This was the decisive bet my mother had proposed to me before she passed away. I wonder if she knew I had already found my treasure back then.

I don’t think I’ll ever find out, though.

“Kafka, what does that mean?”

“Hmmm… Well, more importantly, I need to tell you something so Mom will hear it too… Once again, thanks for working with me at HAMA Tours.”

Telling him that clearly embarrassed him, and his face turns red.

“Wh-What are you saying all of a sudden?” he asks, shock evident in his face. 

He looks so cute that I just have to lean in closer and continue, “Honestly… I thought you’d leave me and go somewhere far away again.”

When we were kids, there were times when we were together, and times we were far apart. Although I understood it wasn’t something in his control because his family was based overseas, I was still happy he chose to attend high school and university here in JPN. I was a bit relieved when I heard he found a job at a travel agency in HAMA. It meant he wouldn’t leave as easily, but he was still overseas a lot for tours, and hardly ever in our hometown.

I loved how free he was, but at the same time, I resented him for it.

… That’s why I’m happy now that he’s by my side, working at the company I started, and accompanying me through life.

Secretly, I hope that this miracle will continue, and perhaps develop into something even deeper.

“Why do you think that? I told you before, didn’t I? We’ll play together forever,” Chief-chan said, sounding a little sulky.

It feels as though the sun is rising in my heart. 

I’m so glad he remembers that promise.

I’ve replayed those words in my head more than you can imagine.

“Mhm. I’m not there to see it, but I can tell you’ve won our bet. I think I was around 20 years old when I got engaged to Rihito-san, too…”

“Nuh-huh, I’m not listening to this.” 

My mother in the video laughs as I say that, as if she already knew what I was going to say.

The smile on her face was that of a young girl’s, without a trace of the fear of death that had caused her to break down and cry.

She suddenly stiffens, and smiles as if she was about to test me.

“You have two codes left,” she suddenly declares.

Not expecting to hear that, my chest tightens.

“In the final code, I left behind the secrets of the world. … I wish you the best of luck.”

With that whispered challenge, the video ends.  These videos always end with a random cute picture of me when I was little, and next to those pictures is a silly message written by my mother that said something like “Kafka, 3 years old. So cute.”

Well, Chief-chan next to me exclaims how cute it is, so I suppose I can say it's a good production.

“… Two left, huh?” Chief-chan asks sadly.

Seeing him be sad for me makes me kind of happy, but oddly enough, the situation doesn't make me feel all that sentimental.

“… The secrets of the world, hm…”

That’s what I'm more curious about.

My mother was a never-seen-before genius, known as the Goddess of wisdom. She left behind incredible achievements in nearly every field, so I had always wondered what it was that she couldn’t accomplish before she passed.

I wonder what the so-called “secrets of the world” my mother left behind are.

I’ve never told anyone, but they left me with a small grudge in my heart.

Will that grudge disappear once I solve the final code? Or will I be left aghast, and fall even deeper into despair?

I look at Chief-chan, who still looks sad, beside me and I realize we might not be able to see the final code together.

But that's for later.

“Now that I’ve opened this year’s gift… Shall we get this tea party started?”

“Yeah, let’s!”

I’ve decided to make the most of the happiness I get from spending time with Chief-chan, who smiles so brightly when I call out to him.

Maybe even the time we get to spend together now is a gift from my mother. Who can really tell?

Track 1 | Track 2 | Track 3 | Track 4 | Track 5

[countessofwisdom]

Kafka Oguro Ward Mayor Novel - Mother's Code: Season 1, Track 4 - Thanatophobia / 3

In the end, I became "friends" with those siblings.

Ever since that day, I don't know how to explain it, but my life felt as if it went from monochrome to colorful high definition. As if suddenly, everything somehow became more vibrant.

They couldn’t visit all the time because of their parents’ work, but whenever they went on a trip, they’d bring back souvenirs and a cassette tape. They’d also visit when they had free time, and we’d go fishing together, play cards, and talk about books we’d read.

I didn’t get along well with their ice skater cousin, but for some reason he’d also drop by and force me to eat his homemade shumai from time to time.

The siblings and I picked up a stray dog, named it, and decided we’d keep it together.

My fondest memory of all is the “first trip” he planned for me.

We snuck out of the hospital and explored HAMA. I found it to be an incredible adventure.

I was harshly scolded after, but it was such a fresh experience for me that I didn’t care at all.

That day, I climbed up onto a rooftop, looked out over the city of HAMA as dusk fell, and I thought to myself:

I want to keep living. I want to live, and visit lots of places. I want to travel.

Together with him, if possible.

One simple trip became my hope to keep on living.

Because he smiled and said he loved HAMA, I decided I’d follow in my father’s footsteps and become a Special Tourism Ward Mayor. If I could make this city shine even more, then I’m sure he’d be even happier.

Then he said, “I’ll never forget you, Kafka! Ever!”, and my aimless hope turned into a light that swelled in my heart.

But the brighter a light becomes, the darker its shadow.

Will I even survive until I reach 20 years old?

What if I do survive, but the surgery fails?

Even if the surgery is successful, can I really expect myself to be able to live as long as a normal person?

The more things I found myself wanting to do, the more afraid of death I became.

It’s okay for us to be afraid of death. … Sometimes… it’s legitimate fear that leads you to find the reason you’re alive.

My mother said something like that, didn’t she?

Does that mean that fearing death leads us to living more fulfilling lives?

Really?

I thought my mother’s words over again and again, as if they were a puzzle with no solution, and before I knew it, they wouldn't leave my mind.

“You’re here again, Mom?”

I was so shocked all I could do was chuckle.

She had just snuck out of her hospital room and had tiptoed her way to mine.

I still lived in the hospital, even though I was about to start middle school. At the same time, my mother’s condition had deteriorated due to overwork, and she was hospitalized in a different room.

But my mother was the kind of person who couldn’t sit still. She often snuck into my hospital room without the nurses noticing, and we’d make small bets, or she’d share her wisdom with me.

“They’ll get mad again if they find out. You even took out your IV drip without asking.” “It’s only for about 30 minutes. More importantly, did you solve yesterday’s math question?”

I smiled wryly and showed my mother the verification data for a part of the already-proven Poincaré conjecture my mother and I had talked about the day before.

My mother looked at the numerical formulas I had written without pause and understood them in an instant.

“You’ve solved most of it, but it seems you’re having trouble with the remaining bits?”

“I’m pretty good at differential geometry, but I still don’t understand the physics approach to it. I’ll take my time solving it.”

“Have you read the original?”

“Not yet. The data I’ve yet to read dates back to 1904, so I figured someone has transcribed them. It’s awful how hard this text is to read.”

My mother laughed heartily in response.

“So you’re finding this hard... Maybe I’ll bet on this being unsolvable for you, then.”

“Oh, please. I’m just verifying something that’s already been proven, how can I not solve it? I should be able to solve it within the year” I insisted and my mother’s eyes narrowed. “Within a year, you say…” she muttered.

Right then, my mother looked oddly melancholic, and it gave me a bad feeling.

“Kafka, let’s make a decisive bet,” my mother whispered.

“What?” I titled my head.

What decisive bet?

“… Let’s bet on whether or not you’ll find the most important treasure of your life. If you do, you win.”

… That wasn’t really a bet, was it?

It wasn't like she’d win if I didn’t find it.

Plus, I think I’ve already found it… but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to say that.

Maybe because I felt that this seemingly meaningless bet was being made on my future. 

An hour later, the head nurse found my mother and angrily took her back to her own room.

For some reason, I ended up reading the original text of the old thesis we had talked about that day.

The conclusion left an impression on me, and I thought about sharing it with my mother. Although this wasn’t exactly in character for me, I went to visit her in her hospital room, pretending I was going to the bathroom.

For some reason… For some silly reason, I thought that if I told my mother I had read the thesis we talked about with the squiggly handwriting and quizzed her on whether she remembered the last sentence, she’d laugh. I thought she’d give me a funny response.

There was still a while before it was time for lights out, but the hospital was quiet and somewhat dim. The door to my mother’s room was slightly ajar, and a small light was coming through it.

I could hear sobbing coming from inside the room…

“… I don’t want to die.”  I heard the words clearly. I peeked through the gap in the door and saw my mother crying with her face buried in my father’s chest.

“I’m scared of dying like this, when I haven’t accomplished anything…”

Her voice was hoarse from all the crying.

My father patted her back, trying to cheer her up. He reminded her of all the magnificent things she had accomplished.

"You’re still meant to live", he pleaded.

"Don't be scared, Rinka."

"You’ll keep living. For Kafka’s sake, too."

"God is watching over you…"

… My father is a fool.

For a scientist such as my mother, a God meant nothing.

But I was even more powerless than my foolish father.

With no words I could say to my mother, all I could do was turn tail and walk away. Behind me, I could hear my mother’s tearful voice whispering, “What can I even do for Kafka?”

A few days later, she gave me the silver memory stick. She said it was a birthday present, even though it wasn’t my birthday. The code within the present was too difficult for me at the time… 

And before I could solve it, my mother quietly passed away.

Track 1 | Track 2 | Track 3 | Track 4 | Track 5

[countessofwisdom]

Kafka Oguro Ward Mayor Novel - Mother's Code: Season 1, Track 3 - Thanatophobia / 2

At first, I only went fishing because of the bet I made with my mother. I wasn’t that into it, but before I knew it, I was hooked. I couldn’t play outside much, but fishing proved a good activity for the mind.  No matter how much thought you put into your calculations, at the end of the day, your catch for the day was up to luck. I found that kind of randomness fun, too.

By the way, the bet with my mother ended in a draw. The weather on the day of my father and I’s little fishing competition wasn’t on our side, and both of us came back empty-handed.

Although my father was disappointed to see his bucket empty, my mother laughed at it.

Around a year after I started fishing, something unexpected occurred.

It wasn’t anything big, but… to me, it meant the entire world.

“You can fish at the hospital! That’s awesome!” “C’mon, tell us, what’d you catch?”

Those two kids followed me around and made a ruckus on that day too.

They were a pair of siblings near my age… I had heard their father broke his leg in an accident and was being hospitalized. When they went to visit him, they spotted me walking around with a fishing rod and followed me out of curiosity… That was how we first met. Since then, for some reason those siblings would follow me around whenever they came to visit.

Every day, every single day, to the point where it made me want to ask them whether they were okay not being with their father instead.

Honestly, I was quite confused and troubled by it.

It seemed their father was a photographer who traveled around the world. They travelled with him a lot, apparently. It just so happened that their father got injured while shooting in a remote part of JPN, and the two were happy that they could remain in the country for a while.

Well, not that I was all too interested in that. The two of them really wanted to talk to me, despite how much I tried to block out their voices.

Just why were they following me around so much? I just didn’t get it. I hardly even responded when they talked to me. I would tell them what kind of fish I caught when I did… But I wasn’t good at those kinds of exchanges.

I mean, most children just looked confused when I spoke. They would say the words I used were too difficult for them to understand. Even when I tried to speak normally, I just couldn’t hold a conversation, so I tried to talk to those siblings with words they’d understand, too.

That meant that with every fish I caught, I would say, “This is a mackerel. That one’s a mackerel… Yeah, that’s a mackerel too.”

One day, my father asked me if the kids I hung out with sometimes were my friends, and I got so irritated that I hid in bed.

We were not friends. There’s no way they thought we were friends, either. Who would want to be friends with someone who only tells them the names of fish?

And yet, one day, one of the siblings approached me with an idea…

“Here take this…! Let’s keep an exchange diary on cassette!”

He gave me a cassette recorder that was probably straight out of the Heisei era.

“I’ve already recorded something, so give it a listen!” he said with a shy smile.

I was dumbfounded.

Why? What did he gain out of doing this? I could solve incredibly difficult mathematical formulas, and I could analyze incredibly abstruse language. But this was one thing I couldn’t understand. Why would you give a cassette tape to an unsociable child who’s always in and out of the hospital, and only talks to you to tell you the names of fish?

I accepted it reluctantly, but in truth, I was incredibly excited. Because this was the first time a kid my age had ever given me something.

I listened to the tape in my hospital room, and it was full of nothing but trivialities. He talked about his father, who was still hospitalized, what he had eaten the day before, what he learned about mackerels, how he was interested in fishing… Sometimes, his sister’s voice joined in.

I could even hear something that sounded like their mother’s voice from afar: “… Oh, you’re recording the cassette. You did say you wanted to be friends with him.”

When I heard that, my heart started pounding and my cheeks grew red.

It was as if her words went straight to my heart. It was a strange feeling I had never felt before.

Before I knew it, I was listening to the tape on repeat.

He told me to record a reply, but I didn’t know what to say.

I thought about it for a while, but figured that maybe, if I spoke through a cassette, I wouldn’t get the usual blank stare in response.

In the end, I pushed the record button.

I replied one by one to each of his trivialities.

I told him I hoped his hospitalized father gets well soon. I responded to his talk about snacks with what snacks I've had at the hospital. I corrected some of the facts he got wrong about mackerels.

I had planned to end my recording with a goodbye, but before I knew it, some other words came tumbling out of my mouth:

“… I hope you’ll come and see me again.”

When I realized what I had just said, I tried to turn the recording off, but Heisei era cassette recorders didn’t have that function.

It was then that I realized… I was happy that those siblings approached me, and that one of them even gave me that cassette.

Despite thinking there was no way we could ever be friends… Somewhere in the depths of my heart, I actually hoped we could.

I wondered why that was, but right then, something my mother had once told me came to mind.

“… It’s okay for us to be afraid of death, Kafka.”

I didn’t know what the connection between making friends and fearing death was, but I felt like my mother was giving me a push forward. And so, after we exchanged a few cassettes…

“If you come see me again tomorrow, I’ll teach you how to fish.” I finally told him that. I made a promise to the future, with a kid I didn’t know all too well, even though there was no guarantee I would live to see tomorrow.

But fortune and misfortune come in pairs, and the God of this world probably has it out for me a little.

On the night before the promised day, my condition took a turn for the worse.

All I remember was knocking over the dinner tray and falling over, footsteps rushing around the hospital floors, and the urgent exchanges between the doctor and nurses.

“… What do you mean he needs emergency surgery, Doctor!?” Probably my father, yelling.

“... in the doctors. Please take care of Kafka.” My mother speaking with a trembling voice. 

I was under anesthesia, so I don’t know what happened after. But I remember that as I fell asleep, I only had one thought in my mind: Even though I finally made a promise… If he visited tomorrow, I wouldn’t be able to teach him how to fish...

If I died just like that…How would those two react?

What would I think?

… It was the first time I’d made a promise with someone outside my family. Wasn’t it okay for me to teach him how to fish? Wasn’t it okay for me to have just a bit of hope?

Was I not even allowed to actually make friends?

I don’t want to die like this.

I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die…

I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die. I want to live.

I want to live, live, live. I want to fulfill my promise.

I mean, what have I even accomplished so far?

I don’t want to die. I can’t die yet.

I have to live, even for just a little longer. I can’t die without leaving some proof that I lived in this world.

When I thought that, I felt like I finally understood why my mother was so afraid of death.

Even if I am nothing more than the amalgamation of 14 kilos of oxygen, about 4 kilos of carbon, probably 2 kilos of hydrogen, 700 grams of nitrogen and other elements.

“... Some people believe that a person is only truly considered dead when all memories of them are erased from the minds of those still living.”

If I were to die like that, I would soon disappear from everyone’s mind, and people would forget I even existed to begin with.

That made everything seem pointless.

In the pitch black void, I felt as though both my body and heart were being cut into pieces. It felt so horrifying and cruel.

Every time I wished to live, I was made aware that there was no guarantee that my desire would be fulfilled… I had come to understand that the cruel end known as death comes to all, regardless of our wishes…

Ah, so this is fear. That was thanatophobia. I had finally come to understand how my mother felt.

When the fog in my mind finally cleared, I was in the same hospital room as always.

It seemed like the emergency surgery was a success.

I could see medicine dripping from the IV bag above my head.

Apparently, I was unconscious for a few days due to the anesthesia… During that time, the father of the siblings I had promised to teach how to fish was released from the hospital.

… I’ll never see him again.

He must hate me since I broke our promise.

When I thought that, I was overcome with a heavy sadness that I myself didn’t really understand.

I guess in the end, my expectations were too high for the first kid who just happened to notice me.

Really, all I wanted was to become his friend.

I just wanted him to remember I was alive…

I wondered, why didn’t I understand something that simple?

I wished I had talked to him sooner instead of being a coward.

I’d have taught him how to fish, or anything else he wanted.

I should have told him and his sister I wanted to talk to them a lot more...

That night, I just cried a little, regretting my choices.

The next day, I woke up to a surprise.

“Good morning, Kafka.”

The siblings I so desperately wanted to see were right there in my hospital room. The boy, who I had exchanged cassettes with, had bright red eyes, as if he’d cried his heart out.

When he saw my arm with the IV drip attached to it, for some reason he started tearing up and gently took my hand.

“Let’s be friends, Kafka,” he said with a determinated look on his face.

As soon as he said that, he burst into tears. He cried because he thought he should have said it sooner. Because he was scared that if I hadn’t woken up, we would have had to part ways without him ever saying it.

At that moment, it was as if my world had turned upside down.

For a moment, it was as if my small hospital room, my severe illness, and everything else had disappeared, and the future opened up before me.

… Mother. This may not be the secret of the world, but my world has changed.

Changed by this one completely ordinary child, who, unlike me, probably had nothing special about him…

And his foolish, but pure and dazzling feelings… towards me.

Wouldn’t you call this mysterious thing… a secret of the world?

Track 1 | Track 2 | Track 3 | Track 4 | Track 5

[countessofwisdom]

Chihiro Natsuyaki Novel - “Choose Me!”

Track 3 - Semi-Final

From the apartment window, the sight of a setting sun could be seen.

My younger sisters, who were in elementary school, were still anxiously staring at the entrance.

Still dressed in my middle school uniform, I reassured them many times,

“It’s okay. If Mom doesn’t come home, your big bro will find us something to eat.”

But the truth is, even I was waiting for Mom’s return.

Once or twice a year, she’d come home in high spirits and say, “You must be hungry.”, while setting out bentos for us. I wished today was one of those days.

But since that seemed unlikely, I searched the kitchen shelves, only to end up with half-eaten cornflakes and furikake.

I sighed, realizing we were out of rice.

What should I even say to my little sisters? Not knowing what to do, I sat down on the kitchen floor and noticed the comic book I’d left on the shelf after I started reading it yesterday. Big sis got it from a used bookstore, and it’s now pretty worn out after being read for so many times.

It’s a manga where a Heisei-era gyaru is the main character, and it’s my most beloved book.

Upon opening it, I saw the life of a cheerful, energetic, and the strongest Heisei-era gyaru ever being depicted. Reading the story alone made me feel uplifted.

“She’s so cool….”

I muttered to myself unconsciously.

After all, the Heisei-era wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, right? There were really tough times too. Yet, she gathered all the things she thought were sparkly, things she loves, and dressed up in her own style. Despite everything, she maintained an unbothered attitude as she continued to smile and flashed her signature peace sign.

The most powerful way of living.

I wish I could be like that too.

In my ears, the tune of a Heisei-era idol song starts playing. Humming along, I stood up, dance lightly and spin.

At that very moment, the small, dirty kitchen seemed to sparkle.

…..If I could become the ultimate gyaru-minded, dazzling idol, I wondered if everyone would love me then.

Those were my thoughts back then.

It was during the “13Choose!” audition.

Completely absorbed, almost nothing else was on my mind.

Only the routine of waking up early in the morning, intensely practicing singing and dancing, which dragged on until the dead of night.

Since our smartphones were confiscated, we were practically cut off from the outside world. Some kids even cried due to the anxiety.

We were constantly being judged by people, sometimes being chosen if lucky, and sometimes not if unlucky…..

No matter how hard I worked, I found myself endlessly swayed by the “likes” and “dislikes” of mere strangers, which caused my emotions to become increasingly pressured.

Once the show aired, surprisingly, I somehow survived multiple rounds of selection.

Maybe my pink hair stood out and caught people’s attention.

Despite comments made about me saying I was great at dancing, yet bad at singing, and just decent at rapping, I received more viewer votes I thought I would.

Although it was edited out, the trainers gave me their full support, for which I was really grateful for.

Now there are 33 contestants left. We’ve finally reached the semi-finals.

That day, the next mission was announced: Perform a cover of classic songs.

What's more, some of my favorite Heisei-era songs were included. And of course, I was overjoyed and picked my favorite song.

——If you can make it to the semi-finals, it’ll keep the show engaging.

At that time, the words the director said to me on our first meeting kept flashing in my mind.

I’ve already made it to the semi-finals.

In other words, I’m as good as expired goods from this point on.

That’s why I decided I’ll give it my all.

I wanted to be seen as worthy of being a finalist.

33 contestants were randomly divided into different groups to perform their songs.

Individual evaluations were important, but if the group didn’t win, there’d be no recognition whatsoever.

That’s why, I volunteered to be the group leader, even though it wasn't my strongest suit. I wanted to push myself to grow.

But there were still some others in my group who weren’t good at either dancing or singing.

“Are you just here to play?”

The cold words coming from the trainer on that day’s lesson chilled the atmosphere.

One person was scolded, and called out by name. It’s obvious from the looks of it that his face instantly turned pale in that moment.

Once the trainer left, the person who was scolded dashed out of the rehearsal room in tears.

Unable to ignore the situation, I, both as a leader and a friend, went after him. As I comforted him who was crying in the corner, hearing him uttered, 'I'm done, I give up,' nearly brought tears to my own eyes.

……I know how that feels; That feeling of wanting to give it all up.

Despite your best efforts to hold on, each day feels like a never-ending struggle filled with anxiety.

You can't help but imagine how much relief it would bring to just let it all go. It's agonizing to long for something that remains unattainable, no matter how badly you wish for it.

But even so…… Even so, I just can’t ignore this blazing feeling of not wanting to give up here, in this place.

“It’s okay. Just take it one step at a time, okay? I believe you can definitely make it. I’ll be here with you ‘til the end.”

To comfort him, I began listing off all the good qualities and traits he has. When I returned with the boy who had now stopped crying, the other group members looked at us worriedly.

With my resolves tightened, and as cheerfully as possible, I tried to quell everyone’s anxieties.

“So, as y’all already know, we’re doin’ a Heisei song this time, right? That’s why Chii’s here with a suggestion! How ‘bout we all dive into a Heisei gyaru mindset together? First, let’s give ourselves a good pep talk! When we can't do it and feel frustrated, who's the one we're most upset at? Ourselves, right? So let's get mad at ourselves first, and then let's cheer ourselves up!”

In front of everyone who’s still wearing cloudy expressions, I’ll take the lead and be the demonstration.

“Chihiro! Stop fucking around already! You’re absolutely useless yourself too! Don’t fucking think you can become an idol acting like that! You’re just a worthless scum who needs to push yourself harder!”

Facing the massive mirrors plastered on the wall of the practice room, I hurled insults at myself with everything I got. When I glanced back, the other members were taken aback. I laughed and kept going.

“But still, I'm thankful for all the effort you've given so far. I have faith in you. And you've got incredible groupmates there with you.”

I could see everyone’s eyes getting misty. I hope that my feelings could get across to them; that I, too, believe in them.

“Don’t give up, Chihiro! March on with a spartan mentality!”

After I finished my part, I gestured to the other members, urging them to go on ahead.

The guy who was crying just a moment ago inhaled sharply, and shouts at the mirror,

“Stop crying! Instead of wasting time crying, put in the effort! You can do so much better than this!”

After venting out his frustrations, his face brightened, and now he’s smiling, saying, “I’ll definitely get through this!”, as a form of self-encouragement.

Laughter broke out, and everyone gave themselves a good scolding. After that, we all praised and cheered each other up. By that point, everyone was already grinning. We shifted our mindset once again and focused entirely on our rehearsals.

Our performance was a success. Bonded by the strong ties we made during rehearsal, we challenged ourselves to surpass our limits in both dancing and singing.

Results are the reason for victory; if you win, those votes add up to your ratings.

We all embraced each other in celebration, and even Komu-kun, who’s from a different group, said, "I could tell that Chii and the others would win the moment I saw you guys perform."

I felt satisfied to have achieved this. It was as if every void in my heart had been filled for the first time.

I even felt that sense of fulfillment.

Until I watched the on-air broadcast.

——Stop fucking around already! You’re completely useless too!

What is this?

What on earth… am I watching right now?

I don’t understand any of this. On the screen, the footage showed me yelling and losing my temper.

It happened when the contestants were gathered in the hall to watch the program that recently aired.

Everyone was rattled when they watched the scene of me yelling.

The “Chihiro,” I said before I started yelling, was edited out.

The member who ran out of the rehearsal room crying after being scolded by the trainer was edited to make it seem like he ran out because I yelled at him.

The boy in question, who was sitting nearby, looked at me in panic. The other members whom I went through the same challenge with turned to look at me, and called out worriedly, “Chihiro….”.

I could only smile warmly and reassure them with my gaze.

Because……. I’m their leader, after all.

But truthfully, my mind was a mess. My heart was pounding and I felt like throwing up. It felt like raw hostility and malice were suddenly being rained on me.

They gave us back our phones for an hour after the broadcast. We’re allowed to check social media, but posting was a no-go.

Breaking the rules is an immediate ticket home. So I can’t even post to say, “That was a misunderstanding.”

If I can't defend myself, it’s best if I don’t look at it.

That was what I planned, but after locking myself in my room alone, I ended up giving in and went on an ego-search.

I knew. I knew it well, even before looking, that it would be a huge disaster.

My personal SNS account was flooded with a massive amount of hate and abusive comments.

“Low-life”, “Scum”, “Kill yourself”, “We don’t need power-harassing idols like you”, “So you were actually a piece of shit”, “Not gonna support you anymore”, ……

Everything in front of me began to spin.

Why? Why was it edited like that?

…..Was it because I’m no longer needed after the semi-finals?

My heart pounded so fast that it hurts.

My breathing became shallow, and I felt like I’m going to collapse at any moment.

As I crouched on the floor, I desperately comforted myself.

——Stay strong, Chihiro. Don’t let this break you, Chihiro……

The me on TV was just a fake.

A version of me edited for convenience. A false image created by the director.

……That’s right, Chihiro Natsuyaki is still safe and sound.

It’s “Chii” that everyone hates.

An alert sounded in the hall, signaling the time to collect our smartphones.

Knowing being late will lead to a penalty, I slowly rise to my feet.

I mentally urge myself to switch it up, switch gears.

After leaving my smartphone in the basket in the main hall, Komu-kun started talking to me in front of the fixed camera.

“Chii….. Are you okay?”

They're filming us right now, right? We’re clearly reflected in the camera lenses, right?

I knew he was genuinely worried about me, but I couldn’t help but wonder why he chose this place to ask.

I only smiled brightly and threw out a peace sign.

“Absolute~ly! Chii would say he’s feelin’ super duper hyped with all this attention he’s gettin’, y’know? Feelin’ totes Very Lucky right now~!”

Aware of the camera's presence, I folded my arms and wondered out loud, "Did I go overboard back there?”

“Since it’s a Heisei song that Chii got mad respect for, the ‘Chii’ vibes just couldn’t be contained at all, oopsie ���”

Playfully pressing my fist to my forehead and sticking my tongue out.

This isn’t me. This is "Chii."

It’s "Chii," so people could think whatever they want.

That‘a what I thought.

With the mindset of the ultimate gyaru, Chii can sparkle and smile brightly, and because of that,

——He’d never get hurt, no matter what.

Track 1 | Track 2 | Track 3 | Track 4 | Track 5

[countessofwisdom]

(18Trip Translation) Tao Kinouchi Novel: Back to the 99 - Track 4

all novels have spoilers for information about the characters revealed in the main story, proceed with caution!

CW: Tao's parents' religious fanaticism reaches a Snake-goes-missing-esque (999) climax

Wednesday, June 30, 1999

— Wednesday, June 30, 1999

I involuntarily let out another sigh.

I didn’t go to school today.

Taiki’s fever had gone down, but he still seemed under the weather.

“Tao-nii, enough… Go to school…”

Taiki told me in the afternoon, after his condition had calmed down.

“I already skipped the morning classes, there’s no point in me going now.” I said and stayed home.

And in case you’re wondering, our parents hadn’t come home at all since the night before.

After Taiki fell asleep due to the side effects of the medicine I had given him just in case, I sat alone in the living room, just staring at my phone.

Should I call Goz, or no? Even if it’s by mail, should I apologize? 

“... What am I even gonna do tonight?” I muttered.

I actually had plans with Goz tonight.

About two months ago, while the two of us were having lunch at school, we started talking about King Anglomois’s prophecy, and I told Goz:

“I don’t know what my parents will do the moment July arrives. They seriously believe in that prophecy.”

There are people out there who believe in this prophecy so much that they become desperate, and there are people who vow they’ll spend all their money by the time June ends. There’s even TV specials.

Our generation has been hearing about this prophecy all our life, and even if we don’t believe it, we still feel a vague sense of fear when we hear the words “July 1999”.

I may be a skeptic myself, but I honestly don’t know what will happen to my parents, who believe in it blindly.

“I don’t wanna be home on that day.”

I had complained to Goz, and as if he just had a great idea, he said, “You don’t gotta be!”

“Let’s sneak out in the middle of the night and jump together the moment July hits!”

“Jump…? This ain't New Year’s Eve.”

“It’s cool, maybe the King of Terror will let us off the hook if our feet aren’t touching the ground?”

It was a silly, ridiculous suggestion.

But the way Goz talked about it with so much excitement somehow comforted me. I knew jumping the moment the clock struck midnight wouldn’t help me figure out what to do with my parents, and it wouldn’t alleviate Taiki’s pain.

But seeing Goz smile as he talked about it… I felt as though my problems were so simple that just jumping could solve them.

“Then, let’s do it. If I remember.”

“Huh? What’s that, Tao? You want me to write our plans on your forehead? Make sure you remember.”

It was just a light-hearted promise, so Goz might have already forgotten about it.

Just as I was at a loss about what to do, my phone’s notification rang, and a mail came through.

“Minami-cho Park. 11:55PM. If you don’t come, I’ll beat the crap out of you.”

The mail was from Goz.

A smile spread across my face.

I was happy that Goz remembered our promise, and was trying to suggest we make up.

I was determined to apologize properly for what happened yesterday when we met.

— I haven’t been able to talk about this with you until now, but truth is, Taiki hasn’t been going to school.

I can’t rely on my parents.

What can I do for Taiki?

This time, I’d be honest and ask for advice.

Goz is a good guy, if I explain the situation with Taiki and our parents, I’m sure he’ll understand.

And just like when he laughed and said we should jump, I’m sure he’ll make me feel better this time, too.

I looked at the time, it was already 11:30PM.

There wasn’t much time left until the arranged time, so I just got changed and ready to leave the house.

When I opened my room’s door, Taiki stood on the other side.

“Taiki, you’re awake? How’s your fever?”

“... It’s gone down. Are you going somewhere, Tao-nii?”

I lied and said I’m going to the convenience store.

I figured I’d be home in about 20 minutes, anyway.

I didn’t think I had any reason to tell him about my promise with Goz.

“Do you want me to buy you something? Like an ice cream?”

Just as I was thinking of really stopping by the convenience store, a loud noise rang from the entrance.

“Tao! Tao, where are you!?”

The next sound I heard was our parents’ screaming.

Taiki’s face suddenly stiffened.

They came into the house with heavy footsteps, looking for me. They’ve always been aggressive people, but they’re especially bad today. 

I hurried downstairs, not wanting to get Taiki involved.

“What are you doing here? Don’t yell, you’ll disturb our neighbors.”

When I got downstairs, my parents, who I hadn’t seen for some time, were running out of the living room.

Honestly, their behavior was strange–

Their hair was messy, their clothes were rumpled, and their eyes were bloodshot.

“There you are! Come on! Hurry!”

My mother screamed as she grabbed my arm. She put so much strength that I felt my bones were going to crack.

She pulled me and I stumbled a step forward, my phone slipping out of my pocket.

“Hold on, what are you doing…”

“Hurry! There’s no time!”

It’s okay. I’ll be back in no time.

I didn’t say that out loud, but I tried to convey it with my expression.

I figured that if I resisted, they’d make a commotion and scare Taiki, so I obediently followed them.

I barely had time to put on my shoes, and I was taken to a park near our house. It was a dark place filled with trees.

A huge coffin was placed there.

“By God’s will! As God’s child! You have the right to board this “Ark”!”

���You don’t have to worry, this is a machine created by God that can transcend time by channelling the energy in space. The church inherited this “Ark” from space!”

“No matter how much we paid, they wouldn’t lend it to us, so we brought it here in secret! Mom and Dad don’t mind becoming sacrifices, Tao is the only one who has to go to where God is!”

I couldn’t understand a thing they were saying.

Their eyes weren’t entirely here, but I couldn’t match up their strength–

Before I knew it, I was shoved into the coffin.

“Hey, hold on, I…”

— I made a promise.

And I have to stay by Taiki’s side.

I wanted to say that, but I couldn’t.

My parents closed the coffin’s lid.

Once I heard a loud noise and realized the lid was locked, I blanked out and everything went dark.

What? Are my screw-loosed parents finally going to kill me?

My parents were still making some kind of noise on the other side of the coffin, so I banged on the lid and yelled, “Let me out! Let me out!”

I’m late for my meeting with Goz. 

I don’t have my phone on me because I dropped it when my parents dragged me. I haven’t even replied to the mail.

— I want to meet him, I want to apologize and make up.

… And there’s also Taiki to think about.

If he starts crying…

Just as I thought that, a sharp pain struck my head.

My vision started to falter, and I felt my consciousness fade.

I can’t remember anything after that.

When I woke up –

I was thrown into an unfamiliar city in the future.

Novel directory: Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 1 | Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 2 | Tuesday, June 29, 1999 / 3 | Wednesday, June 30, 1999 | Souta Gozu

[countessofwisdom]

Could I please request Riddle with a Fem!reader/yuu (or gn! But fem! Is preferred) who tends to become triggered when people raise their voices due to some not-so-great past experiences? And if it’s not asking too much, I would like to ask for it to be in three portions: pre-overblot, post-overblot and pre-relationship, and post-relationship. Thank you very much! :3

YES!!! i love writing these kind of progressing hc stories hfhfs thank You for the request <3 i hope you like it!

Riddle Rosehearts

Considering how Riddle is before his overblot, yeah, you're not really off to the best start with your relationship— He's too focused on mantaining that arbitrary sense of order in his dorm, too aggravated by the handful of people who never quite listen, even if he doesn't mean to, he'll end up raising his voice. And he can really get quite loud.

Riddle does treat you politely, if somewhat awkwardly, when you're talking one on one. He does get a feeling you're put off by him, or something like that, but concludes it's probably just from Ace complaining about how strict he is, something like that...

It'll really take some time for him to realize exactly what the problem is. He's so desensitized to yelling too, he probably doesn't even realize he's doing it, at this point. One day, you're having lunch with Ace and Deuce, and he walks up to your table to tell Ace off for forgetting one of the many rules of the dorm, again, and that's when he finally sees your reaction from up close. The way you flinch even though his voice isn't directed at you at all.

It makes Riddle falter for just a moment, even though he still feels like he's in the right at this point. Maybe he goes on for long enough that you end up leaving, or you were just already having a not-so-great day, and it sticks to his mind. He feels this spike of guilt that's almost like it's coming from within— And he feels like he understands somehow, because he does, he just hasn't thought it through yet.

You don't hear from him much until a few days after the overblot. The incident with Ace sticks to his mind, and it comes back when he sees how distraught the whole situation leaves you. He awkwardly comes up to you to offer an apology, along with an invite to the next Unbirthday Party. "I... I wanted to say, I'm sorry for getting you involved in... all that. A-And I didn't mean to upset you when I was talking to Ace that one time. I'll do my best not to do it again."

It has been a while since the specific situation with Ace, it might be surprising to you that he remembers it, let alone that he felt the need to apologize for the whole thing... Riddle says he understands if you're uncomfortable speaking to him, that he'll leave you alone if you'd prefer, the cautiousness really contrasts with his attitude from before.

Maybe you can tell that, deep down, he relates to it. Or maybe you're still just wondering that. You do end up learning a bit about his home life during the overblot incident, after all— But he definitely doesn't mention it during his apology, nor does he ask for any explanation on why you react the way you do. It's more like unspoken understanding than anything.

He's grateful you're willing to give him any second chance at all, and determined to make sure you won't regret doing it. The Unbirthday Party turns out pretty pleasant, even if he's pretty awkward and clearly unused to it. You may or may not notice him shushing any Heartslabyul members that are being a little too loud.

It's a lot easier for you two to connect, after that. He was curious about you from the start, and he always thought you were pleasant to talk to, but was too closed off for anything to come out of it— Your bond is a little slow and cautious on both sides, and then you can definitely tell that his nervousness really peaks when he starts developing feelings for you.

And, as promised, no yelling happens within your sight ever again. He just holds back whenever you're around, at first, but it soon turns to him stopping himself even when you're nowhere to be seen. Even with "troublemakers" like Ace, whenever Riddle feels the volume of his voice rising, he stops himself. It's just not really necessary, is it? All it does is upset people, it doesn't make anyone listen to him more...

Ace comments on it one day, how it's just so crazy that Riddle's changed so quickly, especially since you two started to get closer to each other, he doesn't even yell at people anymore! There's a little joke about how "love changes people" even if you're not dating (or at least not open about dating) yet... Well, little does Ace know, he's actually right for that one.

if you like my work you can support me by commissioning me or tipping me on ko-fi ── ᵎᵎ ✦

[countessofwisdom]

the recipes for... | track 5 ― fondant au chocolat

Translation: en Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly

"PatiBattle? Are patissiers going to battle...?"

And so, that evening…

After I got home and had some snacks, I happened to glance at the TV that the Robo-Mama had needlessly put on for me.

"PatiBattle? Are patissiers going to battle…?"

I had time to kill, so it was really just by accident that I happened to see the anime that was airing on the TV.

"…Huh?"

I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.

"Wow, this looks cool…"

I'd discovered something.

"This is crazy…!"

I had… discovered something amazing. PatiBattle. Chiyoda Reito. It was like I'd been crossed by fate and destiny.

"…"

I watched in rapt silence. Something felt like it was clicking into place inside of me. PatiBattle was everything that I desired from the bottom of my heart: a story packed full of excitement, youth, and friendship. My heart couldn't stop pounding in pure excitement.

Before my eyes, colour returned to the ashen grey remains of my world after the fire had incinerated everything. "Aah…"

Seeing the protagonist and his rival compete against each other, and then exchanging praises and hugging each other after a good match brought me almost to the point of tears. Suddenly, I remembered what Muu-chan had told me earlier.

"I'd like to give you a hug."

It was then that I realised… I'd thought that I'd hated everything in the world― but there was still one thing I loved dearly: Muu-chan. I'd regained one thing that I loved.

"…"

In the blink of an eye, the credits were already rolling. The original author's name was shown in the credits, so I supposed it must have originally been a manga. Following my curiosity, I found myself ordering the volumes online before I could think better. While I was madly typing away on my phone, Robo-Mama aimlessly peered at my screen.

"…Hey." "…" "Recently, you've been turning on the lights while you do chores, and you turn on the TV now, too." "…, …" "Are you… looking out for me?"

"This is just between you and me, but… I don't really hate you that much." "…" "Do you want me to try and get you a part that lets you talk? If there even are mouthpieces that can be installed onto older models…" "…"

At that point in time, it was natural that Robo-Mama couldn't talk. All she could do was blink her sensor eye. Besides, her barrel-like cylindrical model meant that she didn't even have a neck, but…

"…"

…But it really did seem like she was nodding in reply.

"Okay, got it." I thought, maybe I could ask someone at the robotics factory nearby.

"Maybe I could try making sweets, too."

Not only did I regain something I loved that day, I had also found new things to love. I started to think things like I could try this, or I could try that.

"Since this Reito guy seems cool and he's good with chocolate… let's try making chocolate desserts."

I was able to meet Reito, the character who I love above all others. I was able to find the ultimate hobby in baking sweets. And all of it is thanks to PatiBattle.

"…Every time I look at him, my chest feels fluttery… What could that mean…?"

…That was the sort of childhood I had.

---

I was back in my room, decked to the nines with all of the nuis and merch that I could never put in my dorm room. As I closed my copy of Shounen Dive, I let myself sink into a million fantasies.

"It's still so good no matter how many times I read it… Even though I got spoiled by those annoying idiots, it didn't take away all the fun…! Besides, Reito and Minoru partnering up really is a genius move for the story! Even though Ouji will definitely get jealous…"

The freshly made fondant au chocolat resting on the table beside me was giving off a wonderful aroma. I had taste-tested some crumbs earlier, so naturally, I was quite pleased with the fact that I had made such exquisite sweets. Tomorrow, I'll give some to Muu-chan and his sister.[1] I couldn't wait to see their happy faces.

Just like that, my bad day from overhearing those spoilers had turned into a wonderful day, thanks to my daily sweets-making.

"I've got high hopes for all the fanfiction writers… May there be tons of fic about Reito gently consoling a depressed, jealous Ouji…"

Honestly, I prefer spicy food, and I don't like sweet foods that much at all. But I still want to keep baking sweets.

"Aah… I can't wait for Sanseiu-sensei's newest work…! I hate the crowds at conventions, but if I could meet them and shake their hand… or not. At the very least, I've got to give them sweets as a gift…"

Even despite everything, I want to be able to touch, too. I want to be able to hug someone else, and be hugged by them back… …But I can't do that.

"Now then, time to see what new posts there are today… Ugh, there's already ReiMino here? And… blocked."

Instead, I'll make the most delicious, satisfyingly sweet desserts so that one day, I can give them to the people I care about.

"What? They're rerunning that pair tapestry from last time!? And you can't even pre-order? It's like they want to see a fucking bloodbath out here!"

If they like my desserts, then it'll be like touching their hearts instead. Isn't that already the same as a hug?

"Crane game limited nuis… Alright, guess I'll have to just rescue each and every Reito from the grasp of those claws."

That's why I'll keep making the sweetest, most delicious chocolates.

A few hours later, I wrapped up the fondant au chocolat and stuck a sticky note on it with instructions: Just heat it up in the microwave when you want to eat it.

Now that my work was done, I decided to return for PatiBattle seconds, but just as I settled in, something flashed before my eyes.

"Huh? What?"

Right before my eyes…

[ PatiBattle! Hiatus Announcement ]

…A sentence straight from the depths of Hell.

"Huh…? Huh? Hah??"

The sound of every single cell in my body simultaneously being annihilated echoed in my ears.

---

[1] Ushio specifies Muneuji and 姫 hime, which means 'princess'. Muneuji calls his little sister by this nickname, so it's very likely that Ushio is referring to her!

---

← prev | masterlist

[countessofwisdom]

the recipes for... | track 1 — chocolate pudding

Translation: en Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly

Content Warning: light jokes about death

PatiBattle is my life. A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.

PatiBattle is my life. A masterpiece containing the quintessential element, the character that gives meaning to my very existence— yeah, you heard that right: his name is Chiyoda Reito.

---

"Come the hell on, if I don't get there soon, it might all be gone…!"

I was held back after school for ages by the teachers today. Some lecture about my behaviour in class or something. Stuff like my attitude being all over the place, or reading manga under my desk in class… But why today, of all days? Of course, I just had to run my mouth and say that I'd listen any other day, please let me off just for today… but that just ended up adding oil to the fire and I got held back even longer.

[ Next Restock TBA ] "…"

I flew into the anime shop I frequented and stopped in front of the display case for newly stocked merch. I hadn't been able to pre-order, so all the merch I wanted had all already been snagged.

"Seriously… I wish this would stop happening…"

And it's just my luck that I don't have any friends I can ask to buy merch for me.

"'Restock TBA'…? The very concept of this should fuck right off."

Student life may as well be slavery. Sure, pointing and laughing at the working class and calling them corporate slaves has been a thing since ages ago, but isn't being a student pretty much the same thing? At these places called 'schools', you're physically limited to what you can do, you're forced into doing club activities after school, and even once you get home, you've gotta do homework or chores… All that takes up a shit ton of time. Adults always overestimate the amount of free time we kids have.

"Fuck…!"

Despite all of that, somehow I'm making do with the little free time I have. Attending events, making shrines, exchanging official and blind box merch, buying out merch stocks[1], nui outings, birthday pilgrimages…

"Aah… my life has no meaning anymore… Just end me already…"

I just couldn't take it any longer. I stumbled out of the store, and, after sparing only a glance to make sure no one was around, started hitting my head against the wall, over and over. Over, and over, and over. I failed. I'm a failure. I'm sorry, Reito, I'm so sorry that I couldn't bring you home.

The theme for the acrylic standee set this time around was 'Training Camp - First Year, Winter ~Wedding Cake~'. A set that dressed every single character in exquisite bridal attire. Not being able to get something like that on the day of its release is absolutely unforgivable. I might as well just die.

The way back was freezing cold. The weather sucked ass, too.

---

Today, I decided to go home instead of returning to the dorms. Here, I can do whatever I want without anyone getting in my way.

"…Yeah, I guess it'll do."

My feelings of frustration needed some kind of outlet. All of the love I was so ready to shower on my new standee had to go somewhere, too — so I eagerly channelled it into something else.

"Aren't you looking pretty good now?"

I held up my apron, extremely pleased with the crooked rows of can badges and pins that covered its entirety. Naturally, the apron was in Reito's image colour. And right over the chest, where my new merch should have been, shone in its place a new, extra-large aluminium standee.[2] That's right. In this patisserie kitchen, we don't have ita-bags — we have ita-aprons, obviously.

"I've gotta finish this before Reito's birthday…"

I guess you could say it's like a way of measuring love. If this weight is the weight of my love, then even if it's heavy because of how many things I've slowly added to it, I can't get enough. I just can't get enough of the insanity of wearing it. Merch of Reito is in ridiculously high demand, so it's really not great for my wallet, but… I'm fine with that. Because only then does it feel like I'm giving up even my soul for Reito.

"Now then…"

Finally satisfied with my sparkling, gleaming rows of badges, I moved onto the next part of my daily routine — checking socials. After all, numerous new fanworks are being created every day.

"Searching for… 'PatiBattle!'…" With great enthusiasm, I searched for every single keyword that I could think of. 'Patissier Battle', 'Chiyoda Reito', 'ReiOu', 'Rei0u', 'ChocoPudding'…[3]

"Damn, this person's art is so good… wait— wait, they drew this!? This is insane! Fuck, oh fuck… I can't take it, it's so radiant that I can't even look at it properly…!"

This must be what it means to be happy. Being able to see the masterpieces being born every day is happiness. While happily wading through my feed, I spent hours lost in the online world.

"…Ah."

There it was: Reito/Shouta. And… blocked. It's like I never saw it in the first place. It really was a shame that they didn't understand the better dynamic. But staying in your own lane makes the world go 'round, so never having to see it again was good enough.

And finally, after checking everything else, I'd left the best for last:

"Sanseiu-sensei…!"

Sanseiu-sensei, the god of ReiOu. Even if they hadn't uploaded anything new, I could spend hours rereading all of their older works.

"What's wrong? Could it be… is that embarrassment I see?" "H-hey! I still can't believe it… What would someone like you see in me…?" "If you keep saying things like that, I'll just go ahead and eat you up." "Mmph…!?" "…Delicious." "R-Reito-kun!" "Aren't you so sweet? Maybe… even sweeter than chocolate."

"Aaah, it's still this good every time I read this!? Even though I've read it before? This flavour never gets old no matter how many times I reread it! Seriously! What the fuck! I'm gonna go insane!"

After rolling around on my bed, I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it while writhing in glee. How was I supposed to remain sane after reading that!?

"It's so cute! It's so cute that I'm gonna die! Killing me directly would be less painful, Sanseiu-sensei!"

Throwing my emotions into this much disarray… that was the power of the great Sanseiu-sensei. I'd heard that they tabled at a large convention a few months ago, but…

"I wanna meet them and thank them…!"

I wanted to go so badly, but…

"…I can't deal with crowds…"

---

[1] 無限回収 mugen kaishuu refers to the act of buying the same merch over and over without caring about the cost. If you've ever seen one of those huge birthday shrines with a million of the same pins? That's the energy.

[2] アルミ arumi basically is a shortened form of ‘aluminium’. This could refer to a can badge, but it could also be an aluminium standee, which is a cutout of an artwork from an aluminium can. Since Ushio is saying that instead of the acrylic standee, he got an arumi, and also that he mentioned can badges earlier, I've gone with this option.

[3] 礼王 is Ushio's OTP, Reito/Ouji. He'll explain this later! After this, he searches for 礼玉. Note that 玉 looks like 王; it's pretty common to use something to censor part of the name so that it doesn't appear in searches. I've replaced the O with a 0 to replicate the same effect since it wouldn't make much sense to literally transcribe it. 'ChocoPudding' is another version of their ship name (which he will also explain later).

---

masterlist | next →

[countessofwisdom]

Will you accept the star prince's offer to go to the moon?

I always wanted to emphasize the blue accent in Crowe's image ✨️ I hope I succeeded.

sketch version!!!

[countessofwisdom]

the killer chat! expanded kickstarter is live! :D

hello all! i'm super psyched to say that our kickstarter for killer chat! expanded edition is now live! pledge our kickstarter now and go grab all that you desire, what are you waiting for? ;3

but what does that entail, rosesrot, you may be asking?

what are the rewards, rosesrot?

we've got a range: from game keys, posters and keychains to making up your own server events and even a whole new ending for your serial killer lover! 😳

(a tiny peek at what we've got to offer...)

you can see them on the page or read all about them here!

we've got a lot going on! oh and also… oiled up love interests… i see you…

got any questions about our kickstarter?

we've got a handy-dandy FAQ here!

and last, but certainly not least!

as a reward, we've got a new major demo update for you! it's a little showcase of the features and content we'll have in the expanded edition ;) you can download it on…

🤍 STEAM

❤️ ITCH

please know that this update is not compatible with your old saves! loading an old save will corrupt the game.

if you have any problems, please report them in this bug report form here !

thank you so much! i'll see you on kickstarter :D

also chat why are we already £14k 😭 funded? i love u guys 💖

[countessofwisdom]

Happy Valentine's day ! ⁠♡ It seems that they came together to celebrate the day, don't make them wait too long outside !

I try to design new outfits for them, hope it's fine !

[countessofwisdom]

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

[countessofwisdom]

Welcome to danmei! We have:

- Guy who’s in love with his pet fish

- Guy whose boyfriend has been dead for 16 years

- Guy whose boyfriend nearly committed genocide

- Guy whose boyfriend actually committed genocide

- Luo Binghe

- Guy who accidentally fell in love with the dude he intended to manipulate into villainy & evil

- And more!

[countessofwisdom]

some days