dirkasnivs

[dirkasnivs]

The MMORPG: Separating what you want, and what you think you want.

One of my top five MMORPGs is Guild Wars 2. The combat and animation keep me entertained, and the art is phenomenal, and the game-play choices you can make with your character will change how you play and present a new perspective and way to accomplish your goals. However every mmorpg I’ve ever played has had some type of grind. It’s the bait that keeps the fish coming back for more until it’s hooked. In Guild Wars 2, it can be a multitude of things, but the most infamous, or most renowned depending on your perspective, is legendary weapons.

As you can expect, legendary weapons can take a strong degree of expertise, and a long time to acquire. A lot of people give up their pursuit or quit the game entirely out of frustration. This can be due to poor game design, however sometimes the reasoning for this goes into a personality disorder within one’s self many people don’t want to confront, so we blame it on the game. You have to be able to answer the question: What do you really want? It’s the inability to answer this question before pursuing your goal, in addition to poor game design, that makes it difficult to dedicate yourself to a long endeavor that requires dedication.

For me, it was the legendary weapon: Quip. My reasoning for going after this legendary weapon was I was enjoying Engineers and thieves, and multiple classes could use pistols in case one ever got stale. Seems reasonable enough, and I am very dedicated to things I care about, however I never finished my goal of obtaining it. It wasn’t that Guild Wars 2 got stale before the Path of Fire expansion (if anything, I wanted to obtain it more before the expansion was released), the problem was partly due to game design (grinding the same tedious zone I loathed over and over again), and the realization i wasn’t enjoying thieves or engineers as much as I did about a month ago. Because I spent so many hour already pursuing this weapon to the point I’m literally maybe ~30 hours away from obtaining it, but lost interest, I didn’t see a point in playing the game anymore. At least for a year or two. So I quit.

How does the gamer avoid this kind of burnout? There are techniques we use in the professional world such as switching to a new hobby or task for a bit, maintaining a positive attitude, etc. However none of that matters if you only thought this was something you wanted, and not what you were really interested in. If you do get what you “want”, you might not come back to it for months, years, or ever, because after achieving your goal you’ll learn it was the hunt that was more interesting than the final results.

To find out what you really want in this scenario is to understand your personality, be very patient for more information to become available, and research the hell out of what you’ll need to do to achieve it. If you go into something like this blind, you’re more than likely going to run into tasks that won’t leave you with happy memories whether from glitches, lack of players needed to cooperate with, or just general stupidity. I’m not talking about challenge. Completing something difficult can be satisfying if implemented correctly. 

By personality, what type of class do you enjoy playing in games? Do you like being sneaky? Are you up close and personal? Do you like explosions? Answer basic questions about yourself as a person (what do you want?) before choosing a class. Also, research the class and abilities to determine if that’s what you will be playing for a few years at least.

Next, wait. Be patient. If you don’t know what you’re getting into, your character might be forced to go through trials that just don’t click with you. Let other people who are reviewing, or are more certain go first and provide the information you need to choose the route you want to take.

For me, I think of the game Demon Souls. I was looking forward to a challenging game that had play-styles I usually enjoy in games, however it wasn’t challenging in the way I wanted it to be. I liked the difficult bosses, but that was all I really enjoyed. I hated the grind and endless trash mobs. You’re already playing a game to entertain yourself, so why put yourself through 70% bullcrap, just so you’re enjoying 30% of it? In my mind, that’s not what a game should be doing. Demon Souls was a brilliant game and created a huge franchise, but it just wasn’t my thing.

Then again, that’s just me, which brings up the final point I need to make. Know thy self. By separating what you think you want based on things in the past you’ve actually enjoyed doing, you can save hundreds of hours of time by dedicating yourself to near certainty. This doesn’t mean to stop experimenting with new classes or routes to take in mmorpgs, however don’t dedicate yourself to uncertain paths until you know yourself better, otherwise you won’t take with you the best possible memory. 

Guild Wars 2 is great, however I didn’t get the most out of it because of some of the poor endeavors I tried to undertake, and some implementation decisions. I’ll always be a Ranger at heart, not an Engineer or Thief. 

[dirkasnivs]

Art in Video Games - Path of Exile

Very few games I play make me feel something amazing. They can be story-driven, challenging, enjoyable, therapeutic, and many more adjectives that explain why I play games. To call a game ‘art’ though, it needs something more. Something many of the most renowned studios often miss. Art requires the right moment where everything comes together, and it can happen unexpectedly and developers rarely know they have done it even when it’s what they’re trying to achieve. Path of Exile tells a very dark story, and in one sequence captures that moment gamers can’t just read about or watch on Youtube, they have to play it to truly understand. Regardless, I am going to attempt to dissect that moment.

You’re an exile traveling the wasteland of a fallen theocracy. The farther you progress, the more you learn about key events that lead to the civilization of Oriath’s downfall. Oriath was an oppressive civilization who’s leaders believed they had good intentions for its people (some of them), even though most of its citizens suffered. As with most civilizations in the real world, power consumes. Personal goals get in the way of governing its citizens. Things end badly. The story exists just as much in the past as the present and Path of Exile creates a moment where both collide.

Act 5 in Part 1 is the finale of everything you’ve been through, and it’s not at the final boss where my heart began racing - it was exploring the Templar Courts the 2nd time around, and man did the power structure change since I last visited it. The Templar Courts soundtrack begins to play (a truly powerful piece), and the remaining soldiers that survived your onslaught on your first tour are less concerned with you, and more concerned with minions of old gods. Everyone you ever fought against, and everyone you tried to save is either dead or about to be. Champions of the fallen theocracy have nothing left to hold onto and are about to permanently fade into memory.

This level is truly apocalyptic, but in the same time as you fight through the chaos, you still get the sense of hope. Oriath is done for, but maybe the land of Wraeclast can still be saved. Because of the strong connection Path of Exile creates between the past and present, you wonder about the future. I think this moment was an unintended climax and greatly surpassed Part 1′s final battle. 

Things are only getting worse, so will Oriath and Wraeclast be forgotten, or can you still salvage something for whatever remains of the scattered populous? Well, you will just have to keep playing.

[dirkasnivs]

A Great Eulogy

I’ve been watching Travelers on Netflix and just saw S3, EP 7 Trevor. Overall, the show is decent, at least a solid 7/10. But because it’s not phenomenal, it scares me this episode won’t get discussed much, and missed by most people. This episode has some great story telling that’s going to stick with me for a long time probably. I don’t want to give any spoilers to the few reading this who aren’t already invested in the show, so after this paragraph, stop reading if you don’t want them! The message I’d like to get across to the newcomers is this: if you’re getting burnt out and probably won’t keep watching, skip ahead and watch Archive. I believe it’s a piece of art.

Trevor’s main theme presents the question: How long is a life worth living? We begin with the major supporting character David Holden talking to his first client, Jim, as a social worker. During their conversation, Jim has a heart attack and passes away. This episode follows David’s side story where he is working on a Eulogy, and another major supporting character’s (Trevor’s) diagnoses with the made-up neurological disorder Temporal Aphasia. 

Although the episode Trevor follows the main cast as his Temporal Aphasia progresses, David’s story is necessary for the main theme. Without going into detail about the disease, it leads to death. Trevor has lived a long time through many lives and is comfortable with this even if some of his colleagues aren’t. He’s experienced love, and more than love so-to-speak. He’s lived so long, there aren’t any new experiences left his mind can build off of. It’s like when you find the one at a young age, you spend many years with them, and they pass away before you. Some people get re-married and what not, but in the end you know it’s just not the same and never will be. Trevor is ready to go.

Regardless, his friends save him (temporarily at least), and Trevor was not happy. Fast forward to David’s eulogy and you get a better understanding of the situation Trevor was in. The eulogy is necessary for the episode because it’s the epitome of a decent life lived. Jim was a man who loved, and who impacted one person’s life in such a positive way (David), he literally changed his life. Jim was the reason David became a social worker and dedicated his life to helping others, because Jim was kind enough to pull him off the streets and take him to social services. After watching the eulogy, even though this character Jim got a few minutes of screen time, we know, instinctively, lived a fulfilling life.

The questions we ask at the end of the episode are this: Has Trevor, who has lived three life-times, lived a fulfilling life? Has he made all the difference he can make? It’s mentioned there are people who can do his job and will take his place when he’s gone (like most of our jobs, speaking bluntly), so what makes Trevor so special? And are those reasons more important than his wish to pass on?

None of these questions have clear answers, but they are good questions none the less that a lot of writers try to capture in their work at one point or another. How I determine the value of this episode is how these questions were asked, and if it affected me more emotionally than normal. Truth be told, they did, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this blog. This is a solid episode and the writers did a great job here. I’m looking forward to more from this show, just wishing I’m not too far out from the end of the season.

[dirkasnivs]

Noirlandia

“A desperate hunt for the truth in an unforgiving society.”

I’m finally getting the chance to check out this cool looking game setting that was introduced to me at Pax East. From what I’ve read so far, Evan Rowland is one hell of a designer and artist, and I look forward to incorporating some ideas of my own to expand my narrative design portfolio.

Noir to the core, this game takes you and two to three friends on a journey across a uniquely different cityscape each play-through. Everyone takes part in the worldbuilding and storytelling process. You work together to solve a murder, stop a conspiracy, or end the tyranny of off-planet zealots who keep abducting slum dwellers to please their mighty god, Jakel.

The plan I have for this is to change the game design a tiny bit to fit in my own universe, and hopefully this alternate version of the game will be just as fun as the original. Most of the story-telling aspect of the game will still be in the players’ hands, however some major plot points, characters, and a few locations will be set in stone. Because world-building is part of what makes this game so fun, I’m going to try and counterbalance with some new design decisions.

This takes four players, and although you are seemingly working together toward the same goal, one of you is the villain. The villain must be creative in leading their teammates astray, while the others use their detective skills to try and figure out who the villain is.

This version doesn’t need fixed characters and locations, however I’m doing this as a creative exercise. A different rule set will come with it that will be less restrictive so the world, story, and characters will still belong to the players.

[dirkasnivs]

Awesome quote I found in the transmetroplitan

"The most dangerous man, to any government, is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And even if he is not romantic personally he is very apt to spread discontent among those who are." -H.L. Mencken

[dirkasnivs]

Confrontation

Bella skipped into the room, ignoring the dozen or so bodies beneath her feet. She wore a smile, just for Levi. “Hi dear! Sooo, why the fuck are you here? Can’t you see I’m trying to run a business?”

Levi gave her the stop-fucking-bullshitting-me look. “This operation ends. Now.”

“Psh, since when has the Son of the Leviathan ever cared about how I run things? The streets are talking and we deliver. Why haven’t you fucked off yet?”

“Hell if I know,” Levi exclaimed, raising his arms melodramatically. “Maybe it’s just my last ditch effort to follow in the old man’s footstep.” He pushed his hands against his chest. “I’m having an identity crisis I guess, send help, I just wanna die.”

“You’re unfucking believable, you know that?”

“Yes.”

Bella couldn’t suppress a snicker. “Fuck you, yes. It’s not like you ever really gave a shit.”

”You’re right about that. Fuck this city and fuck its people. I’m moving, going east probably. Before I go, I need to make things right with the shit stains that followed me believing the lie I was selling them. They don’t like your business very much, so I’m asking you nicely to step down, or I’m just going to kill you, your men, your legacy, and every god damn thing you believe in. And I know you’ve had a thing for me, so I’ll kill myself after.”

Bella’s laugh echoed across the complex. “THIS! This is the Leviathan I want by my side. Why do I need 80 legions when I’m surrounded by so much fire? Why must you hate me? We could be one. Everything could be ours if we stopped fighting. Old Lucy would shit himself.”

“That he would. So is that a no?”

Bella’s smile wavered. “Yes,” she said apathetically.

“I’m not sure if you’re saying yes you’ll end this or if you’re being a smug piece of…”

“Kill his men, Little Levi’s mine!”

If it ever gets written, I’m thinking of calling this Shell Shock, and this isn’t the PTSD phrase coined in World War I. The story takes place in the East Mediterranean Sprawl, or East Med, or EMS. Territory lines run north to south through former Syria, Israel, and Jordan. Three Princes run the show - Little Levi (The Young Leviathan), Bella, and Old Lucy. Like most nations and provinces around the world, the central government fell over a decade ago, but the people don’t know that.

Unlike the other princes, Levi isn’t a complete sociopath. Usually. He draws a line with his business endeavors. When a few disappearances around the sprawl garner his attention followed by exploding brains, he takes his serpent guard and begins to investigate. Pandora’s Box opens, and truths that were better off staying inside reveal themselves.

[dirkasnivs]

Thomas’s Delusion

A work in progress....

Scene: Thomas’s Delusion

“I think what hurts the most is in all this time, you’ve been fucking with me every step of the way, and I never fired a shot.”

Kyle’s expression grew dark. “What are…,”

“No, let me finish. You think just because I’m a face-blind schizo, I’m tone deaf too? That just because you two wear each other’s shirts, I can’t tell who is who when you’re trying to pretend to be one another? Or that I can’t detect sarcasm?”

Kyle’s veins were dreadfully visible from gripping his empty pint glass. PBR washed over Miss Blue’s hand as the tap overflowed.

Thomas took another swig of ale. “You might think everything that comes out of my mouth is nonsense, and half the time you might be right because I’m always drunk, but I never once fucked with you. I give you honesty, something that you two along with most of this fucked-ass country can’t appreciate, and you fuck with me for it. You shit-heads follow me bar to bar asking me, ‘what’s wrong with this country today?’ Well I’m fuckin’ staring at the problem!”

No words; blind silence. Kyle’s features portrayed no anger, and the fist Thomas expected to come his way never came. Thomas studied his expression, wild eyes finally penetrating something familiar and exhausting. It was pity.

Kyle took a twenty out of his wallet and slammed it on the bar, then got up. He yanked his Tilley from the chair and placing it over his head, he walked out of the Bukowski Tavern. His voice echoed from the doorway. “You’re lost, bud. The world has its problems, but they aren’t the reason you’re unhappy.”

[dirkasnivs]

Bittersweet Holotech

I can’t lie in bed

With the 3-V anymore.

Because the last time

Was with you.

[dirkasnivs]

One minute haiku

Checkered floors crawling

Seeping up into my skin

Going to die soon.

[dirkasnivs]

The Candlelight Guardian

The following is a sample quest for a campaign setting I’ve been working on.

The Candlelight Guardian I: Such a Lovely Place

Objective - Explore Candlelight Alley until you find the source of the magic.

You arrive in a long, narrow alley packed with loose debris, broken sandstone, and burrows where small creatures have made their home. Not only are there ruined hovels lining the road, you see the occasional shades of travelers, merchants, and locals wandering the broken streets. Some dance to tunes you cannot hear, buy from stalls that no longer exist, and clap for performers you cannot see. Ancient echoes can be heard, but not understood. Forever lost in an endless loop of the past, no one can pay you any heed, except one.

The shade of a Shadow Dancer has her back leaned on a nearby hovel with dark tendrils in the place of arms. She wears a gold necklace with transparent, grey shadows laced around the chains. A magic arrow protrudes from her chest giving her figure a turquoise glow. Her worried, silver eyes dart from side to side, looking for someone or something. Unlike the other phantoms that roam the streets, this one notices your presence aware of an intrusion upon the time driven cycle. She glares at you and her mouth begins to move, but the sounds that escape are beyond comprehension, like attempting to communicate behind a glass barrier.

She sighs and shakes her head, then fades away reappearing on top of a large stone slab to the north. She points downward. When you approach, you see the picture of a candle carved into the stone. The tip of the carved flame, although faint, still glows from loose magic. The shade vanishes again. Sand stumbles into place to form letters above the candle: FREE US

The Candlelight Guardian II: Beasts of Shadow

Objective - Defeat the invading shadow creatures and the Twilight Beetle.

You come to a larger burrow than the others which blocks your path. The burrow glows and hums as the world around you spins like a vortex. The spinning comes to a halt and a vision of the past takes place before you. A monstrous beetle guards the entrance to a long and narrow mud-brick complex. Upon the beast is a lone rider, her tendrils over the reins controlling the phantom beast. This is the same woman who greeted you at the entrance of the alley.

She is surrounded by an invading regiment of spear-men. Archers on rooftops rain arrows down upon her. The beetle’s antennas deflect the oncoming torrent of arrows while its shell snaps spears like twigs. The Shadow Dancer’s magic creates a dark veil. Tendrils erupt from the dancer piercing the soldiers. The beetle swings its tarsal claws and even more soldiers go flying. Despite their numbers, the trained troops are no match for the artisan rider and her mutated creation.

An hour into the onslaught, the veil parts for a tall, broad man cloaked in icy mist. He holds a crossbow with a turquoise tipped bolt, and releases it at the rider. The beetle lifts its antennas to deflect, but the magical bolt pierces through it and hits its rider in the chest. The woman falls limp from her mount. Without its master, the beetle stampedes through soldiers and knocks debris from the complex it was guarding until finally it burrows underground sending sand, dirt, and brick flying into the air.

The mysterious crossbowman disappears into the icy mists protruding from his feet and the remaining soldiers storm the complex. Only the screams that follow tell the rest of the story of what transpired that long night centuries ago.

The world turns again and you’re back in the present. Beetles erupt from the mighty burrow. In the sand under your feet, letters fall into place once more: FREE US

Epilogue

The monstrous twilight beetle falls before you and its kin skitter back into the tunnels beneath the streets of Dawn. The lady rider reappears on top the creature and smiles at you. Laughing, she waves goodbye. In a muffled voice, you hear words that sound like, “thank you,” and the lost shade of candlelight fades away one last time. Another vision of the past appears.

There is an eclipse, and an inauguration is underway down Candlelight Alley. Many of Dawn’s citizens and disciples of the Church of Sulima line the edges of either side of the street. A figure wearing white and gold ceremonial robes and a red crown stands in the center of it all, who you guess is Sun Prophet Mozaf Akir. In his hands, he holds a familiar necklace. Kneeling down before him is a younger version of the Shadow Dancer who guided you through Candlelight Alley. She lifts up her head and the prophet places the necklace around her neck. In a grand display, the necklace begins to evaporate. She is lifted into the air and a massive beetle materializes under her. Ghostly cheers surround her.

Happy screams from the crowd dissolve into an echo which inevitably fade as you return to the present day. The misplaced carved candles of the alley no longer glow. Shades and noises of the past are gone, and the burrows are left desolate. At least for now. All that remains of your journey through the narrow alley is dust and memories. However, a necklace rests beneath your feet with words engraved: Adilah El-Hashem, Candlelight Guardian.

“WE ARE FREE,” is displayed in the sand above the necklace. You pocket the artifact, and the desert wind washes away the last message from the Candlelight Guardian.

[dirkasnivs]

Branching Paths

Branching paths Always turning Winding roads Never learning

Wishing for something else Perhaps nothing at all. Am I going the right way, Or am I about to fall?

Wondering, Pondering, Making the same missteps Because of uncertainty.

Perhaps I’ll create my own trail Away from the unpaved, The perfectly cemented, Away from the narrow and the wide.

It will be my own of no logic or reason And unknown consequence To cherish, explore, And share with whom I chose. This outcome is preferable to My head around a noose.

[dirkasnivs]

Haiku Salad 08/13/17

A grand house of white Waiting for the highest bid - Election season.

Trying to find love In far away locations May lead to heartache.

Are you doing you, Or just distracting yourself From what’s important?

[dirkasnivs]

[dirkasnivs]

Objectivity

We took a moment

To understand our failures,

And the haze lifted.

[dirkasnivs]

Appreciating the Arts

Floating Nymphea Eternal Inspiration Touring the World

Hiding in Púbol Surrounded by Melting Clocks Fearing Loneliness.

Painting toward promise Until the pigment turns blue. Soon, roses will bloom.

[dirkasnivs]

Haiku Salad 08/08/17

Walking to the car

Melting under August rain

Pondering what’s next

Always Waiting

Too afraid to take action

Tell myself I’ll be fine.

Falling into you

Wishing I never met you

Knowing I hurt you

[dirkasnivs]

Haiku Salad 08/07/17

Finding solitude On the ledge of a tower City lights gleaming

Found inspiration In the most unlikely place Desktop wallpaper

One hour till work Thoughts spilling onto the page Wishing for more time.