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Yo, if you’re making a rogue, DO NOT STEAL FROM YOUR PARTY.

I repeat, DO NOT STEAL FROM YOUR PARTY.

Chaotic neutral is not chaotic dickcheese.

Self preservation, yeah. Self preservation should include gaining the trust of your ALLIES to ensure that they will stick around and ALLY with you for whatever your end goal may be. Ya know, ALLIES who might HEAL YOU, or KILL THAT THING BEFORE IT KILLS YOU.

Steal from your allies, and you’re at the bottom of the list (if even on the list) to be healed or assisted or invited back to the goddamn game.

You want to be a thief, awesome, STEAL FROM THE FUCKING ENEMY. Steal from the shitty obnoxious nobles! Steal from someone who isn’t YOUR ALLY.

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@obsidiangrey13

I’m reading through my D&D 5E books, and somehow I never noticed these solid gold disclaimers before??

Dungeon Master’s Guide Disclaimer: Wizards of the Coast does not officially endorse the following tactics, which are guaranteed to maximise your enjoyment as a Dungeon Master. First, always keep a straight face and say OK no matter how ludicrous or doomed the players’ plan of action is. Second, no matter what happens, pretend that you intended all along for everything to unfold the way it did. Third, if you’re not sure what to do next, feign illness, end the session early, and plot your next move. When all else fails, roll a bunch of dice behind your screen, study them for a moment with a look of deep concern mixed with regret, let loose a heavy sigh, and announce that Tiamat swoops from the sky and attacks.

Player’s Handbook Disclaimer: Wizards of the Coast is not responsible for the consequences of splitting up the party, sticking appendages in the mouth of a leering green devil face, accepting a dinner invitation from bugbears, storming the feast hall of a hill giant steading, angering a dragon of any variety, or saying yes when the DM asks, “Are you really sure?”

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Well I’m sold.

OKAY. LISTEN UP TABLE TOP RPG FANS

SO. THERE IS THIS GAME CALLED SCION. ITS PUBLISHED BY WHITE WOLF. THAT IS ALREADY A POSITIVE.  THE PREMISE IS THAT YOU ARE CHILDREN OF THE GODS TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD.  THINK PERCY JACKSON MEETS AMERICAN GODS. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scion_(role-playing_game)

I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING. 

WOW. WHAT PANTHEONS? 

ALL OF THEM. 

Greek 

Egyptian

Hindu 

Chinese 

Japanese 

Norse

Aztec 

Vodou 

Irish 

Gaulish 

Persian

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!!!! 

What really caught my attention was the more “modern” gods that represent folk lore or cultural phenomenons. These are the crazy ones. 

EUROPEAN CONCEPTS! 

Baba Yaga 

Britannia 

The Citizen 

d'Artagnan

John Bull 

Madame Guillotine

Marianne 

Robin Hood

Rodina Mat. 

That’s right! Your dad could have fucked a guillotine to make you! Or your daddy can actually be the Marx ideal workforce! 

BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER! 

There are the Americana folklore characters! 

Betsy Ross

Br'er Rabbit

Columbia

John Henry

Johnny Appleseed

Paul Bunyan

Pecos Bill

Rosie the Riveter 

Uncle Sam

Give me one good reason why you shouldn’t be playing a game where you play the spawn of Paul Bunyan 

THAT’S FUCKING RIGHT. LUMBER DADDY. 

or. or. or. or. or. 

THIS IS THE CHARACTER YOU’VE BEEN WAITING TO PLAY ALL YOUR LIFE. 

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This should be at the start of every RPG book out there

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Reblogging for DM resources!

Place-Of-Worship Generator

Location features

Church

Belltower

Dome

Fountain

Flying buttresses

Forest clearing

Ancient tree

Pool of water

Standing stones

Mushrooms

Cavern

Crystals

Steam vents

Stalagtites & stalagmites

Light shafts

Body of water

Rivermouth

Clear spring

Hot spring

Murky pond

Decor

Bones

Symbols of piety

Plant life

No decor

A single holy symbol or idol

Brightly coloured banners

Monochromatic decor

Historical reliefs

Precious stones and metals

Braziers

Service Regularity

Sunrise and sunset

Midnight

According to moon cycle

Once weekly

Only on established holy days

When the leaders call a meeting

No services, only personal worship

After the appearance of an omen

Services only for clergy, not commoners 

High noon

Quirk

Blood sacrifices

Religious leader is also town leader

No children allowed

Openly racist

Speaking is forbidden

Food available

Haven for stray animals

Clothing must be shed before entering

Magic does not work here

Time moves slower here

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A good perspective on problem paladins and the nature of Hellknights

Hellknight Rule #1: It’s Not Permission to be an Ass

Pathfinder Campaign Setting: Path of the Hellknight hits store shelves in a few weeks, you might even have it already if you’re a Pathfinder subscriber. Finally, after years of them being one of the most popular organizations in the Pathfinder world, the Hellknights—heavily armored legions of Inspector Javerts—are about to get more detail and player options than ever before. The Hellknights are one of my favorite Pathfinder creations and their slow development is largely a result of me being precious about what comes out about them. Story-wise, I love the concept of grim, heavily armed and armored legions obsessed with a dogma of law and greater good.

Character-wise, around the game table, I don’t trust most of you jackals.

So, a few notes before you get this book in your jagged little clutches.

Paladins, Codes, and Player Conduct: The Hellknights, by and large, collectively embody the concept of the gray paladin. Really, the only difference between them and paladins are that they focus full-bore on law, without any of the distraction of good (if they do good, it’s circumstantial). I think we’ve all witnessed or heard stories of paladins coming across as jerk, despite their players trying to be heroes. Some players, when presented with a character who follows a strict dogma, obey that code to the point of absurdity, and well past the point that their fellow players enjoy playing with their character. So, a quick tip for paladins (and RPG dogma followers of all types): Once your code starts making the game less fun (for the group or even a single player) you’re doing it wrong.

That’s not to say to ignore your character’s code, strict dogmas can be fun for creating challenges. But, as soon as a party needs to start working around your character to be effective, or you find yourself saying things like “I’m sorry, but it’s what my character would do,” you’re probably negatively impacting the game. If you’re concerned about that, ask your group candidly how they feel about your character and her code and work from there. If the rest of the group (and/or the GM) think the character’s being a problem, it might be time to turn her into an NPC and create a new character.

And that’s fine. Not every character or every character element is right for every group or every game. As with any social interaction, there’s bound to be a level of compromise if every one’s going to have a good time. So be flexible.

Hellknights are Worse: So, how’s that relevant to Hellknights? Well, Hellknights also follow an ironclad code, and they don’t have to be good. In fact, most aren’t. Many Hellknights embody the idea of “the greater good,” a concept typically born of inflexibility and limited perspective. Most Hellknights come from a culture they idealize as the pinnacle of society. As a result, intolerance is core to their modus operandi. In general, they oppress those who don’t obey their vision of law. That’s pretty basic, but at more advanced levels things get more specific. Those who follow what the Hellknight Order of the Pyre categorize as “unwholesome” faiths, they hunt and potentially burn. Those peoples who threaten their culture’s frontier colonies, the Order of the Nail and Order of the Coil strike against—despite those peoples having inhabited such lands first. Those works and writings that spread ideas the Hellknights deem dangerous, the Order of the Rack burns. On the whole, the Hellknights engage in some pretty sketchy behavior.

And, to be clear, that shit is for villains.

But it’s out there. And while the Pathfinder RPG and Path of the Hellknight expects players to be heroes and to do heroic things, I’m already anticipating some gung-ho literalist players to nab the sketchiest, most for-bad-guys content in this book and be like “Finally! I can burn all the witches!” totally neglecting that the character next to them is playing the witch class and that their best friend across the table is a practicing pagan.

If that’s cool at your table and everyone’s happy: cool. Great. Play the game you and your group all want—enjoy! But, for those of you playing with strangers, at conventions, at game stores, etcetera, please—please—be mindful of the people around you. On the whole, if you’re going to play a Hellknight and plan to explore some of the grayer, darker, or most rigid elements of the orders, please discuss it with the rest of your group first, just to make sure everyone’s cool with that.

In fact, it’s in the rules.

Anticipating a bit of this, I included a bit in the first chapter of Path of the Hellknight on playing Hellknights.

Hellknight Philosophy at the Table: Hellknights seek to embody supreme order, refuse to compromise their ideals, and do everything they can to uphold their philosophies. People and circumstances that don’t fit into their definition of order must be stamped out to meet their vision of progress. For some, this extends to whole religions, cultures, or philosophies. When making a character, discuss with your group whether a Hellknight character is right for your party—Hellknights and law-breaking characters are unlikely to work well together. Also, discuss with the group and GM how appropriate themes of intolerance are in your game. Behaving in ways that make other players uncomfortable simply because your character is a Hellknight is neither respectful nor fun. Consider that lawful neutral Hellknights of any order tend to focus on the harsh judgment of societal vices, while lawful good characters usually work at the organization’s fringes, hunting down criminals and bringing justice to civilization’s frontiers. Lawful evil members are the ones who tend to commit acts of prejudice and intolerance. Remember that every Hellknight order has members focused on different tasks, meaning that it’s your choice whether your member of the Order of the Nail is either a righteous traveling judge or a vicious murderer—make the character that’s right for your entire group.

I wanted to get this in the book so that, if this comes up—if you run into THAT player—you’ve got some backup right in the text that says “Hey, that’s not cool.” I also reproduced it here and on the first Paizo preview blog for Path of the Hellknight, so if you have to copy and paste it, you’ve got it handy.

Know Your Game, Your Players, & Your Character: Pathfinder’s a game. At the end of the day, it is more Candy Land than avant garde artistic exploration. It is NOTHING to lose friends, insult groups, or to make people uncomfortable over. Tell amazing stories, absolutely, but since it’s not just you telling that story, it’s a whole group, make sure everyone is along for the ride. If you want to go super gritty and adult, play that game in private with players who have explicitly said they want to go to those places. But, if you’re playing in public, or with kids, or strangers, or even people who have never seen an RPG before (some who might just be walking by or watching over your shoulder), avoid venturing into R-rated or otherwise heavy territory.

And be mindful that Hellknights are aimed on a trajectory toward such “heavy territory.” They don’t need to go there—there’s nothing terribly explicit in Path of the Hellknight—but left to run on their own, Hellknights readily dive into morally and ethically dark places. So, consider this your good gaming warning label.

None of this is not rocket science. In some regards it’s even just common courtesy. But, all too often a new rule or character option seems like permission which, without consideration, can lead toward themes you don’t want at your table. So, absolutely, play a Hellknight, but also consider.

And if this means you analyze your Hellknight character and decide they want to occasionally defy their strictures or leave their order, well, revelation leading to redemption can make a pretty dang heroic character arc.

~W

(Cover by Nikola Matkovic. Half-page art by Caio Maciel Monteiro. )

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Not bad.

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THIS is why I ban laptops at my table.

Assassination Fails

So we were playing a 3.5 homebrew and my four players (Druid, Rogue, Bard, and Cleric) were working as assassins. Their assignment was to kill Garby the halfling in a tavern while making it look like an accident. After discussing amongst themselves, they got on with it.

Druid: First we get Garby drunk with lots of alcohol.

Bard: While the bar is all noisy, I cast Suggestion on one of the other drunk patrons at the table next to Garby. I suggest that the dwarf in front of him is a huge prick and that he should smash him with a beer bottle.

DM (me): No one notices as you cast your spell. The patron stands from his seat, raises his bottle, and shouts at the dwarf, “YOU PRIIIIIICK!” and…

Rogue: Wait! I give Garby a swift kick in the knee to push him towards the bottle-wielder. *rolls a 15*

DM: The halfling Garby, intoxicated and unaware, stumbles towards the bottle-wielder’s table. He slams against the dwarf and latches onto the dwarf’s head. The bottle then smashes against Garby’s temple, throwing him onto the ground, bleeding and unconscious. Everyone in the Tavern stops to look at the commotion. What do you do now?

Everyone at the table goes quiet. We all look at the Cleric’s player. He looks up from his laptop looking confused. 

Cleric: Um, um, um… Okay, I lay my hands on the bleeding guy and cure him of his wounds!

DM: Uh okay, you touch the halfling’s temple and whisper a cure spell. He is stabilized, still groggy, but the bleeding has stopped. Everyone in the Tavern applauds.

The Rogue player then shouts at the Cleric player: BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DECLARE HIM DEAD!!!

Turns out the Cleric wasn’t paying attention the whole time. 

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mod did a thing! speaking of which, would you guys like me to post more about things that happen in my campaigns?

Pathfinder shenanigans

I just successfully played out a sniper battle as DM. I am proud of this accomplishment.

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Pathfinder Bestiary 5

I was honestly unimpressed. The first problem is that, despite looking at it’s thickness compared to Bestiary 4, i KNOW that physically, the difference in thickness between the books is negligible, it feels like there’s less in there. While i’m happy to see some creatures from Hindu mythology get stat blocks (seriously, Hindu mythology is a goldmine for awesome NPCs and Mobs, i highly recommend at least reading the Ramayana at the very least for some very interesting ideas), there are things in there that just don’t jive. For example:

That is a 3 headed Sharktopus. This creature right here exemplifies the issue i have with monsters in this book. Mechanically, there’s nothing wrong with it. but... i honestly cant think of a serious reason to ever use it. And serious is the operative word here; in a comical campaign i would happily trot this out, but the mere concept sadly does not lend itself to being taken with any degree of seriousness. And that’s true of a lot of monsters in this book; they largely speaking feel like things a 12 year old would draw in a notebook when they should be paying attention to Mr. Martinez explaining scientific notation and saying to yourself “Man, i want to use this in a campaign someday.” That’s not to say that their are no DMs out there who could make this work, but it fails to mesh with my personal style.

And thems the lucky ones. then there are the ones that feel truly uninspired. I kid you not, Lizard people (of conspiracy theory message board fame) and little green men are in this book. I get it, you just released Occult Adventures and need to fill your monster roster with some psychic mobs, but dammit, Paizo, you can do better than this. You are creative people, you can come up with some original psychic baddies. Your “Occult” content seems to be rather lacking in the, well, Occult.

Also it seems that the flavor text got skimped on this book; monsters who in other books would have gotten a paragraph or more of flavor text in other books got at most a sentence or two; the only monsters who got any real flavor text were the two-page-spread capstone monsters like the new Psychic Dragons and the Apostate Devil.

The only highlight of the book was a stat block for the Grim reaper, who’s powers basically boiled down to “Initiate TPK,” which i thought was hilarious. But wait, didn't Bestiary 3 give us Shinigami? arent those basically the same thing? the new dragons are nice; we have some who prey on dreams and stuff.

In short, This book almost has some good and interesting ideas, but are frequently overshadowed by monster design that are unusable because the flavor just does not work or are simply too powerful for balanced play.

~Grimly

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HYPE! (also, Mod is not dead! sorry, ive been busy with dealing with a campaign that has somewhat fallen off the rails. expect a post about DMing for new players soon! also schoolwork, but you don’t come here to hear me complain.)

We’re so excited for our write up by none other than IO9. Check out the article and our Kickstarter!

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The Wish Spell. There is perhaps no greater tradition or source of player stories in DnD. Every DM has their own way of dealing with them, every player has a tale of trying to circumvent them. Tell us some of your tales from the monkey’s paw. Players, DMs, What have you wished for, and how did it work out for you?

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They are also all brand new players and I'm a brand new DM. Hah we have 4e and I'm running the little adventure in the back of the DMG. I'm a little nervous about creating my own campaign after this published one. Any advice on that? Thanks a bunch:)

my recommendation for your first self-written campaign is to keep it small in scope. its like how when learning to ride a bike you don’t try to ride a triathalon as soon as the training wheels come off, you don’t try to save the multiverse on your first outing on your own as a DM. use a premade campaign setting; like forgotten realms. Pick one spot in that setting; in terms of forgotten realms, the city of Baldur’s gate has enough published about it to write an anthropological dissertation. once you have your place, read as much as possible about that place in advance, know it like the back of your hand before the first session. my first time DMing was in a custom made setting about saving the universe from rampaging titans in the abyss. it was a disaster. keep it small, keep in in an established setting, at least your first time. your first time out without training wheels should be all about the story, keep the background work you have to do as minimal as you can.

in terms of story, game designers have a concept called fold-back narrative; essentially, no matter how the story branches, it always folds back to a few events that have to be dealt with no matter what players do. 

essentially, make a calendar, essentially how things would resolve without player interference. with day 1 being the first day of the campaign. if players do something to affect when that event resolves, move the date of the event accordingly. if the villain’s plot is supposed to resolve on april 30th, and players do something that delays the plot, have it resolve april 31st. if they inadvertently help your big bad, have it resolve april 29th. when the day comes, give the heroes a chance to interfere, nudging them in the right direction as the time comes and is needed. and if the players are absent when an event occurs, you have to be ready to let it occur without them doing anything. if it comes to it, let the villain win. that can become a whole story line to itself.

one thing i can recommend right now to avoid is making any players critical to the story. you should never put yourselves in a position where killing a PC cripples the plot.

also try to avoid narrating the players actions as much as possible. at every opportunity, ask them “what do you want to do?” describe them walking to their destination, if they hear something they want to stop and check out on the way, let them do it. role play every NPC (i find giving people unique voices helps a lot.) give them every possible opportunity to be their character, and let the world feel alive.

in terms of names and dungeons, the resources on the wonderful website donjon are invaluable to any DM.

hope i helped. as always, feel free to message me with any followups. hope your campaign works out, 4e always felt both oversimplified and clunky to me, but its always good to have new blood in the game!

–Grimly

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I have two PCs who are both level 4 and I have a few players who haven't even created a charactera yet. How do I deal with the level gap? How do I build encounters? Muchly, muchly appreciated. :)

Typically what i do is have the players without characters make them at the level of the party in play, in your case, level 4. This means that the characters will probably have already established themselves as a party of adventurers. this means that they will have stories to tell to the established players, however, this also means that you will have to work with the players to create a background for their characters that makes sense for a level 4 (like dealing with a goblin raid is reasonable for that level, slaying a higher demon is not.)

The Pathfinder PFSRD (Pathfinder Source Resource Document) actually has a descent chart for starting gold per level, and the 5e rule book has one within it’s pages as well. look around on the google and see if there’s a chart for your system. in the PFSRD the starting gold for level 4 is 6000GP.

Doing it this way allows you to bypass any level difference, allows the established players to keep going without feeling the need to babysit the new player’s PCs, and allows the new players to get right into the action. from there its all standard DM stuff of bringing the groups together and normal encounter creation.

Hope i answered your question. feel free to message me with any and all follow ups.

–Grimly

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yeah, no. all the arguments of world consistency and back knowledge evaporate the moment the DM starts making threats against characters to discourage a certain character play. it sounds to me more like the GM has a general grudge against that race, as odd as it sounds. Hell, i dislike playing in Forgotten Realms in large part because of the ubiquity of a certian drow ranger and gandalf-wannabie, but that’s no reason to prevent players from playing drow or fighter-wizards. Your DM is in the wrong here. His job is to facilitate play, not force his views on game constructs on other players.

Petition To Let Me Play As A Drow

My DM says i can’t play as a drow in our game because they’re “always inherently evil” and “are a problem to work with”

I’ve given him a perfect back story to explain why the drow isn’t evil and fits into the story, and i am perfectly aware of all problems being a drow could cause and i am prepared to deal with them.

despite this, he has stubbornly decided that i can not be a drow, and has even made threats against any of my other characters if i persist.

so i’m going to use this as a petition. every not this gets counts as a signature, and since he believes that all other DMs will agree with him then i would love it if other DMs could comment to disagree.

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The Problems with Ressurection

I would like to talk today about Ressurection, specifically the Dragonball and Chaotzu problems

It has been frustrating to me recently as a DM that, once a party reaches a certain level of power, death becomes absolutely trivial, especially if the party has a cleric in it’s roster. In pathfinder, the list price for a suit of Full Plate is more than the cost of the material component for a raise dead spell. Death in literature is one of the most powerful tools for character development, but in RPGs it feels like death at a certain point has no consequence, especially when PCs can be resurrected as many times as the cleric can afford 5000GP worth of diamonds.

This creates a series of problems for DMs in general. First, why are assassins at all threatening (Aside from abilities that block Resurrection for some variations of an assassin class, which is a step in the right direction,) when most of the rich nobles worth assassinating meet with clerics capable of casting raise dead at minimum daily? This is the Dragonball Problem, which states that death in a world where overcoming death is so easy is absolutely trivial.

Second, without the important tool of killing characters, how can DMs punish players who get out of hand when death is essentially a null threat? I have seen numerous parties become increasingly reckless because of how many Raise Dead diamonds the party cleric kept on them. This is the Chaotzu problem, which states that death has no impact if it can be overcome endlessly.

“We’re literally waiting to come back! Heck, this is Chaotzu’s SECOND TIME!”

“Next time I get ice cream!”

                             -Dragon Ball Z abridged, episode 30 part 3

So how do we fix this?

Well, one solution is to simply remove Resurrection entirely. I am in general opposed to this method of solving the problem. The return from death is a classic fantasy trope, it would feel wrong to take that almost god-like power from the players, as well as a chance to see old friends. Like it or not, Resurrection has a place in DND, and removing it is a horrible overreaction to the problem we’re tackling.

I think the better answer is to make raising the dead more expensive; under no circumstances should overcoming the great equalizer be less expensive than a suit of full plate. Second, i think that there should be a limit to how many times it will work, like you only get to come back once and then you’re done; or do it like game of thrones does where the more times one is brought back, the less and less of themselves is actually restored (However you would implement that.)

So, what do you think? do you have another idea? do you see another problem with how raising the dead works in DnD and Pathfinder that i did not?

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Dice are essentially gamer jewlery

Will Wheaton