econjunky - Tumblr blog

[econjunky]

Nothings more present then a 100 year old tree.

[econjunky]

Sunflower, acrylic

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Sunset in Acrylic

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Brothers Pier

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[econjunky]

[econjunky]

We Planted More then a Tree

It rained that day, but we were on a mission, nothing was going to stop us. I think about that tree we planted often.

Afterwards, when I would mow the lawn, I'd swerve around it years after, impressed that it kept growing. Occasionally I'd wonder if it felt sad or lost? What possible cause would it have? Sometimes I would go outside and stare at it, grab your tiny hand and show you how it's growing. And how this small tree, could just, be.

We can just 'be' too, here, now, like our tree. A tree that's now 3 times the size that it was the day we planted it. The tree isn't contemplating tomorrow or its past or future. It just is. Its consistency of peacefulness, could make one envious of what it has.

Yet, we're blessed and can even be grateful, for something our tree does not have; minds that create. Minds that produce beautiful ideas and infinitely incredible thoughts and emotions, art, music and words just waiting to come out - like the idea of planting that tree in the first place.

When our minds create, we have control of taking what we like, and like the tree, leaving the rest, to slip away, like a fallen small insignificant leaf, blown away by a breeze, as we keep growing, just a little everyday; growing mightier then our tree ever could.

love,

Dad

[econjunky]

Identity

True silence is deafening.

I've gone to my knees, and covered my ears.

It is a darkness and void, unmatched by even the blackest holes of the universe.

Loniliness easily washes over like water.

Dripping, growing into a puddle; a choice.

Become the black hole, be consumed by emptiness, or interrogate;

Why does this exist, this need to suffer?

A search leads to identity.

Who am I?

The answer seems then simple.

There's no need for identity,

No need to search, or suffer,

with a compass in hand.

[econjunky]

It’s just love,

so what?

It wraps you like a warm blanket.

It fills voids,

It beats failure,

It humbles success.

It’s just love,

Puts meaning where there wasn’t

Adds depth where it was shallow,

it’s just love,

So what?

Who needs it?

Need is not love

Love surrounds you, indefinitely, unconditionally

Once you need it, it's gone.

[econjunky]

awake

I am among the living.

I am supposed to be here.

The dead are asleep,

No, the dead are dead.

I will breath in and out,

Until something out of my control

Halts my breadth.

I am more then my mind thinks.

I will move forward.

I will be accountable for my actions & happiness

I will not feel sorry for myself for being alive.

I will honor life as a gift,

I will give that gift to others.

Hoarding that gift is being dead.

I will move forward first for others then myself.

If something gets in my way,

If my own emotions get in my way,

I will give them honor and respect,

Then I will ignore them.

I am done sleeping now.

[econjunky]

Adrift

He floats on a calm, tranquil sea.

Where battles are often fought.

But even the moon rests powerless,

To the serenity her sea brought.

This ocean holds calm, quiet and free.

Where fires burn through bone and rot.

From the North, South, East and West,

No traveler will give her thought.

Yet drift he will into uncharted water.

With no agenda other then to fail… to falter.

Until he returns to her calm, tranquil sea.

Where from the North, South, East, and West,

Her love gathers beneath he.

[econjunky]

Brother

I new him like I knew myself

When we were young with no one else

He pushed and fought it seemed.

I knew him less then I knew myself

As we grew older collecting wealth

As I pushed and fought it seemed.

When he died, me by his side

I looked into his hazel eyes

We didn’t push or fight anymore.

He held my hand

Whispered, I love you Dan

And he gave me back myself.

[econjunky]

The Affair

An old ship creaks as it kisses the sea For the vessel, the rhythm is calming; Its sales pop in time and delight The wind has traveled generations only to be met with rejection The ocean crests white tears at the encounter From a distance, the affair is a serene dance, a gentle deliberate production Where sound is clean.

[econjunky]

“Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself”

James Allen

[econjunky]

Big Brother

I look for you in the stars, trying to figure out which one is you.

Mama said you are somewhere up there, staring down at us, protecting us. 

But my dear brother, I would rather have you here with me. 

I know that what happened can not be undone, but I would trade all the stars in the sky to look into your eyes again. 

Fuck the god damn sky, I want my big brother back. 

No sky, no star would be as beautiful as watching you live the life that was taken from you. 

[econjunky]

I wonder if this will all make sense one day. Like, I’ll look back on our love through older, wiser eyes and I’ll smile to myself as I roll over in bed to face the man I actually married.

He’ll touch my face, pull me in for a kiss, and I’ll know that everything worked out for the better.

This was how it was always meant to be.

You taught me how to live, how to love, how to lose. So that I’d be ready when this one, The One, came along.

 Maybe. I don’t know. I hope so.