emnicbooks - Tumblr blog

[emnicbooks]

"Time is a transparent medium. People and cities arise out of it, move through it and disappear back into it. It is time that brings them out and time that takes them away." - Vasily Grossman, Life and Fate

[emnicbooks]

Fallen trees, for evermore.

(Inspired by Binsey Poplars by Gerard Manley Hopkins - specifically the line "after-comers cannot guess the beauty been")

Empty evenings,

lonely nights,

and plans to set

the world to rights.

Early mornings,

sunny days,

our dreams already

far away.

Desires, hopes and

unshed tears,

that are held close and,

so very dear

to those of us who

still remain,

as we were and

all the same.

Not yet wandering,

not yet lost,

not after-comers

who can’t spot

the beauty here,

once before,

fallen trees,

for evermore.

But saplings turn

to ancient wood,

Stability, safety,

All things good.

Before they are sent,

on their way,

or left to those

who cannot say,

that they are here,

as much as us,

so do not have

to earn our love.

In every form

our beauty is,

And our love is just

as much as this.

Every day and

every night

and every place,

out of sight

is theirs for now.

Until it’s gone,

For evermore.

P.S: This has nothing to do with anything I've ever posted here before (especially the previous post, which is the only other post I've got here at the moment). I don't know what this poem is, I just couldn't get the opening lines out of my head and had to try it to see where it went. I also couldn't get the line "after-comers cannot guess the beauty been" out of my head either and knew that something could come of it, maybe.

Hope you liked it. Em xx

Thanks to AstridContraMundum on AO3 whose series After-Comers Cannot Guess the Beauty Been introduced me to the Binsey Poplars poem.

[emnicbooks]

Aro ace

This is kind of a self-centred post but a post I wanted to make on Instagram but didn't know how to make it there so I made a Tumblr for it. Maybe I'll make some more Tumblr posts. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll learn to write in. full sentences. Maybe. I. won't. Em xx

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I came across the term aromantic more than two years ago, when I was fifteen. I identified with the term immediately. I'd never had, nor ever wanted to have (beyond the "oh but surely you must have a crush on someone" that everyone gets from their friends at least once in their life) , a crush. I haven't really had a very strong squish on anyone either but I've felt more "squishy" feelings that I have "crushy" ones. When I first found the term, I thought about it loads for a couple of weeks. And then I dismissed it. And I regret that now. I'm not one for having regrets but I regret spending a lot of the last two years wondering if I'd ever have a crush, feeling like I ought to have a crush one SOMEBODY, when I knew I never would. Earlier this year, I read Loveless (by Alice Oseman) and then I scrolled through aro Instagram pages and came back to the term, knowing that, more than two years later, I still identified with it.

My relationship with the term asexual is less defined. When I realised I was aro, the first time, it felt comfortable. It suited me. It fit. And I liked it, which maybe shouldn't matter but, at the time, it mattered to me. I knew about asexuality long before I knew about aromanticism. But, to me, asexuality felt more final. That sounds stupid. Identifying as asexual felt like it cut me off more from people than identifying as aromantic ever could. And I don't know why I felt like that. Until very recently, I thought I was alloaro. I thought that I could feel sexual attraction because I thought about sex in a way I never could think about romance. But I don't feel sexual attraction. I never have. And I think, now, I'm comfortable with that. The Instagram community is great. I'm open about it on social media. I'm almost anonymous on social media. I haven't ever mentioned it in real life. I don't know whether I should.