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Alex: If a black bird has black babies

Alex: And a blue bird has blue babies

Alex: What bird has no babies?

Carlos: I don't know

Alex: A swallow

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Nico: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

Kevin: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

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Lewis: Netflix and chill.

Alex: YouTube and snuggle!

Fernando: A random pirated website and taking over the government.

Pierre: HULU AND FUCK.

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Yuki: I hate you with every inch of my being.

George: Well, that's not a lot of inches.

Yuki:

Yuki: Run.

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Judge: how do you plead?

Sergio: (looks at Lewis)

Lewis: (mouths "not guilty")

Sergio: hot milky

Lewis: for fuck's sake just lock him up

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Sergio: *sneezes*

Kevin: Bless you

Lewis: *sneezes*

Kevin: Lewis, are you sick? here let me wrap you up in a blanket and feed you some warm soup! You poor thing!

Nico: *sneezes*

Kevin: oh my fucking god shut the fuck up

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Alex: *walks into Yuki's room*

Yuki, standing on a table:

Alex: what are you doing on the table?

Yuki: this is my room, I can stand on a table if I want!

Alex:

Alex: OK where's the spider

Yuki: iTs By tHe dOor KilL iT pLeAsE

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Fernando: Dear, Santa

Fernando: I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty

Fernando: And it was worth it, judgemental bastard

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Charles, at 3 am: What I dont understand is why everyone gives me weird fucking looks whenever I eat a bell pepper. Do they think bell peppers are deadly spicy? Is every single fucking person in this sport a goddamn airhead? Bell peppers arent spicy. They are crisp and refreshing and in fact, can be eaten as a snack like a fucking apple. This is why I'm fucking #3 in the standings and the two people that never question it are #2 and #1. I am sick and tired of having to deal with people being dumbasses. Bell peppers arent fucking SPICY FOR FUCKS SAKE

Fred: Why are you in my room?

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*Lance is in the kitchen and he hears a crash from the living room*

Lance, running into the living room: WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED HERE?!?!

Pierre, looking at the broken TV screen and the remote on the floor: I was trying to throw the remote onto the TV stand!

Lance: And Alex didn’t stop you?!

Pierre, pointing at a sleeping Alex: He has been asleep for the past three hours.

Esteban, walking in, oblivious to the situation: Hey guys-

Esteban, realizing: Wait, is the TV broken? Why?!

Lance, pointing at Pierre: He threw the remote onto the TV stand.

Esteban: Come on! That’s the 5th time this week and it’s 2 in the morning on a Tuesday!

Alex, waking up to see the situation: *yawns* How long was I out?

Alex, seeing the broken TV: OH GOSH NOT AGAIN! PIERRE, I TOLD YOU NOT TO!

Pierre: You were asleep! And I always take a window of opportunity when I see it!

Lance and Esteban, in unison: But you broke the-

Pierre: My work here is done. If anyone asks, I was never. *dashes out of the living room*

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Biden would risk a wider regional war than stop Israel from committing genocide.

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Giovinazzi: Hey, you know what sucks?

Kimi: Vacuums.

Giovinazzi: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?

Kimi: Black holes.

Giovinazzi: Hey, you know what just isn't cool?

Kimi: Lava?

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Time for the monthly reblog.

LEWIS HAMILTON DISCORD

Hi! We have a discord for Lewis. We want to expand it and add more of you. It's a safe space for Lewis supporters.

DM me for the link (since links expire in 7 days I've not added it in the post)

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Valtteri: Someone speak python here?

Zhou: HHHHHSSSSSHSSS

Yuki: SSSSS

Valtteri: The programming language...

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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Toto: Shit.

Bono: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Lewis: OH MY GOD GEORGE AND MIKE FELL OFF!!!

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Lance: Thank you for listening to me.

Lance: You know you're a really good listener.

Lance: Please say something.

Fernando: Ok I'm back.

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Lando: Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Carlos: Why?

Lando: Cause his wife died