felicity-jai-avtar

[felicity-jai-avtar]

Oh my beating poet heart. #poetsofinstagram #poetry #poetsofig #tinypoem #missbliss #missblissbali #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #poetrycommunity #instapoet #instapoetry #livecreatively #instart #artheart #curiouscreative #wordporn #healingarts #creativetherapy #throughthedarkness #satnam #iamlight #iamiam #satnamwaheguru🙏💙💛💚💜💖🌈✨🌸🐝🌞

[felicity-jai-avtar]

...What lies beneath the surface, she asked the breeze. And in her waking dream she dove in. Dissolved the lines that divide the oceans of her mind. Cool water enveloped her and she felt herself free, felt herself home in the sea... #theoceancallsme #magic #nomad #adventures #amazeballs #divingnorthsulawesi #lembehisland #thebest #scubadiving #macro #paradise #somanycritters #lovingtheflow #wonderfulindonesia #makasibanyak #seadreams #underwater #selamatdatang2018 #blowingbubbles #bubblehopping #missbliss

[felicity-jai-avtar]

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The so begin the adventures of awkward man... On a quiet, sunny morning, on a comfy bed in Bali, awkward man awoke to the sounds of a cow mooing in the field nextdoor. He rolled over and found Willow breathing rythymically beside him. As awkward man stirred, so to did Willow. She looked to his slightly startled face and wondered what adventures they would enjoy today. "Good morning Willow, what a beautiful day! " he proclaimed brightly, "are you ready?" And without hesitation, he climbed confidently up Willow's silky black fur and readied himself at her collar. "Ayo, let's go!!"

[felicity-jai-avtar]

For some time, perhaps even eternity, I rested in the twinkle of a cloud dragon’s eye. Here with all existence. Dissolved in this deep amber pool of possibility. The cloud dragon sang the sunshine, danced the thunder and cried the rain. The day I was born, I began form with a loving tear. I slid my way down scaled skin, slipped past the widened chin, and encased in a clear droplet, I fell through time. Fell through time and splashed onto the garden path where I dissolved again with all the other raindrops. Here one moment. Gone the next. So fast is the life of a raindrop. #carpediem #livetoday #missbliss #missblissbali #inthedragonseye #dragonstone #balistatue #patungubud #patung #clouddragon #ubudmonkeyforest #poetsofig #poetry #poetsofinstagram #poem #raindrops

[felicity-jai-avtar]

The meaning of life? (insert drum roll please)... Relationships ... ❤Our relationships with people -- family, lovers, friends, our communities of people known or not yet known, old and new, ❤Our relationships with nature - with plants and animals and the elements and in all it's amazing forms! and ❤Our relationships with the intangible forces - call that God, essence or spirit or whatever you like.. I like to think of it as art and movement and meditation and sat nam xx So simple. What do you think? #balilife #philosophy #themeaningoflife #whatitsallabout #jalanhidup #orangorang #orangalam #orangspiritual #denpasardreaming #lovemycrew #missinghome #myheartishome #satnam #photographyshadows #photography

[felicity-jai-avtar]

Reflections on life and trying something new: Its a new ( ... ) city And although you've (been) driven (in) this way before, Today you’re Lost. Your route is recalculated. A familiar voice in your head (phones) tells you when to go straight and when to turn a corner. Up ahead, take the first exit; you hear. And some days you really feel like exiting the whole damn thing. But with every ‘wrong’ turn your position is recalibrated, your route recalculated, the journey redirected. Today Your GPS is tuned in. Transitions between pathways are smooth. Yesterday as your GPS dropped out, Your signal weak, Equipment faulty, Temper frayed. The journey felt soo frustratingly slow. You had to stop. and read the map you made. and stop. Reread the map. and Stop. Check. Stop. Check. Again. and. Again. You made it home in the end. This new place, that you now call home. Each day, someway and somehow, you make it home. It's not really the map but the ongoing effort that brings you home. It is the search; the recalibration; the listening; the watching; the being: that brings you home, again and again. You will always find your way home. F.A.W 6/10/17 #hereiamso #youareneverlost #justbreathe #tunein #consciousawareness #missbliss #poetry #poetsofinstagram #missblissbali #travelpoem #denpasar #darmasiswari2017 #darmasiswari #globalnomads #cintabali #trysomethingdifferent #pathwaystopeace #kundaliniyoga

[felicity-jai-avtar]

The forest sings, in a language I understand. Her and I, We are one. Our gushing juices flow over rocks, embracing challenge, and moving with it. Full Of life, of magic, of creation, Full Like a chorals crescendo, the music hall nothing but pulsing sound. Our cooling sweat pours from our vines, as we dangle over cliff and rock, We've been dancing all night and all day to a rhythm so powerful, so moving, that we surrender now into the cool abyss. Gazing with love, up to father sky, we float and we hum our merry way downstream. F.A.W 24.09.17 #missblissbali #missbliss #poem #forestpoem #ubudedge #ubudbali #balimagic #balipoems #natureismedicine #naturephotography #takeawalkintheforest #avtar #motherearth

[felicity-jai-avtar]

Dry season dreams... #territoryliving #dryseasonpoetry #floatinggarden #missbliss #missblissdarwin #inspiration #onmyyogamat

[felicity-jai-avtar]

Interesting read...

[felicity-jai-avtar]

Death twitches in my ear,

“Live,” he says, “I am coming.”

-VIRGIL

Image: Death and Life, by Gustav Klimt, c. 1911

[felicity-jai-avtar]

THE LOTUS Layers Revealing and shedding, In the unfolding dance of life. What beauty in this simple rhythm. Where time passes unremarkably But the flowers, Without audience, Grow and shed and grow and shed and grow. Their joy expressed for all and for no one. Accepting of their place in the natural flow of life. Is it any wonder then that a flow'er is named so?

f-j-a   03-2017

[felicity-jai-avtar]

Did your mother ever tell you not to talk to strangers?

How could one conversation with a stranger have such an impact?

The whole world, all of existence seemed to live between our two velveteen bus seats. The landscape, the towns, the island bridge they all passed by without significance. So to did the city shops, and the bus terminal. Oh shit….wait…. that’s myyyyy stoppppppppp!!!!!. I excused myself as Henry stood up to let me out and I quickly thanked him for the conversation, legged it to the front of the bus gesticulating wildly. The driver pulled over, his second officer, opening the cargo carrier to give me my backpack, so I could walk the few hundred meters back up the road to the terminal where my red postie bike was parked for the weekend. And then …the bus was gone.

Wowwweeee! I felt like I had just stepped out of a portal. Gathering myself here on the roadside, I was vibrating with a mix of awe and panic, and adrenaline and something else… was it… hmmm… was it loss? How could such an amazing connection happen and then poof! gone in an instant, to zoom away through the traffic. Gone forever.

It had started by chance like many travel conversations do. Henry had sat down next to me on the busy public bus from Khao Lak to Phuket and with earphones playing the Upsteppers, Cash War album, I smiled as he took his seat beside me. Dreamily I watched the Andaman coastline pass by, enjoying the bright morning colours of the ocean and forest. Third track in, I started sneezing, and I heard my neighbour say ‘Gazuntheid’. This has always been my favourite response to a sneeze, it seems much more appropriate to wish someone good health, rather than blessing them. Although any acknowledgement is always most welcome.

Anyhow, I digress. I responded in German with dank-ashen. “Oh are you German?” Henry asked. No I said, I am from Australia. “Lovely - I spent some time in Sydney” he replied, “where are you from in Australia?”. And so went on the most ordinary of starts to the most extraordinary of conversations.

We talked about language and the nature of language, places we had traveled and our joys and challenges of speaking locally.

Henry was a documentary film maker all through the 60s and 70s. He had spent a year and a half living with the shell money makers in the remote Solomon Islands, months with the headhunters of PNG, the Kaluhari bush men, and the Inuit. In those days he and his wife traveled, just the two of them, to remote ‘primitive’ cultures to film for a German commercial channel as well as the ABC. He had filmed a worldwide young genius series which had featured a now lead Australian ballerina, a top American Motorcross champion and an African girl who had kept a fully grown pet lion. 

His stories took me across the globe and through time. We spoke of his creative process and his challenge of being between worlds. He found it difficult to travel and then integrate back into Austrian life, and he found himself often dancing the compromising line between documentary film making as art-form and commercial product.

This old man epitomised the intrepid, hero explorer of my imagination. Who, dressed in loin cloth, living in thatched jungle hut, would spend the first few weeks of a project with no camera, seeking to understand the community dynamics and building trust and connections. Living with the people he was filming, he sought to immerse in the local culture as much as was possible for an ‘outsider’. He was a paradox of purpose and influence. He was also a pirate, albeit a kind hearted one, swapping tobacco for tales and taking jewels of knowledge and culture to sell to the wide eyed crowds of Europe.

Henry shared wild stories of sorcery and black magic; men of spirit who he saw call the storming thunder clouds away. Witness to exorcisms and entrancements. He said he did not always have his old school 16mm film camera on hand to record his most profound and surreal experiences. He made apologies to me for the seemingly fantastical nature of one tale, and I found myself saying to him, with full conviction, “I believe in magic”.

And yes as you can see in the video above, both magic and I can be light and playful and silly. But I often feel the realness of true ‘serious’ magic. In small moments; in synchronicity; in nature; and in those gigantic magical moments which speak so deep into the nature of your being, you are overwhelmed with all of the feelings, overwhelmed by the sheer enormity and vastness of that magic. 

I shared a tale with Henry of one of those big moments. I was in China, present at a healing session my friend had organised. At this session, I sat among four women, holding space and helping with translations. The atmosphere was palpable, alive and pulsating with vibration. It is a tale to share another time, but suffice to say for now, I had only heard of ‘energy healers’ before then. The expression ‘seeing is believing’ pops into my head as I write this. And it holds true, in the sense that my experience during that healing session was magical. To experience this particular healer’s power and witness the transformation and healing process in my friend, was truly compelling. Recalling this experience to Henry, brought an energy into my body that was so strong. An electric vibration.

Henry spoke with a great deal of respect for the cultures and peoples he had visited and with an acknowledgement of the impact of his presence there and his motivations for doing what he did. He spoke of the challenges during his time film-making; of needing to establish an conciliatory relationship with the local shaman/ medicine man/ witch-doctor. Some communities would openly tell him who was who, while in others, it was a far more challenging process. With their first aid supplies and modern medical knowledge, his wife and him, were often considered a threat by the local medicine man. He spoke of meeting magic–medicine-men who could look you in your eyes and peer straight through you, into your soul and through your mind. Henry had decided early on in his career that he would need to hold himself so strong, to defend against this piercing transmission. The intentions of the magic-men, he conveyed, where not always positive. As I looked across the bus seat, into his eyes, I could see this fighting spirit, still present in his gaze. He said that he learned to construct defensive psychic barriers to protect himself, whilst at the same time, would communicate psychically, his intentions, his respect and his shared humanity.

I reflected to him that in the presence of these powerful magic men, it would take time to open to trust them and their intentions. Henry looked me in the eyes and said, do you think you would be able to protect yourself. Instantly I was aware of my breath and in a moment of suspended time, in the space between my breaths, the inquiry went deep into my being. From this stillness I responded. Yes I said. If I needed to I would not let it in, I would defend. And as Henry smiled at me, I chuckled lightly. Yes I can see you have an inner strength he said. Now, in this very next moment, I felt exposed and vulnerable and at the same time strong and in trust with this stranger. It was a very strong feeling. Quiet in reflection, moments passed, till our conversation flowed to family and friends and more tales of adventure.

As I walked back up the road towards the bus terminal, it had felt so abrupt our parting. One moment connected to the divinity within and in the other, and the next, spat out onto a busy city street. Why didn’t I give him a business card with my number, or be taken on a different route from the one I had set out on. I didn’t even tell him my name, I thought. How bizarre. I wonder if I will meet him again. Or not. How unexpected and serendipitous our paths were to meet that day.

And even more bizarrely that day followed with a string of 'unlucky’ events for me. I felt elated but scattered. Was it the universe’s way of balancing? or was I gripping too tightly to the past and forgetting to be present? I was helter skelter. I had dropped my ipod on the bus, I came off my motorbike in first gear and almost went over the handlebars trying to fix (while riding) the mirror which was damaged in the first fall. And furthermore, I had unceremoniously shoveled not one but three ice-creams into my face later that day, drank beer, drank wine, all in a weirdly loose sense of seeking reality and control, and controlled unreality. Laughing all the while in the face of this ‘unlucky’ chaos, with a sense of acceptance, with a sense of the bigger picture. This material unreality couldn’t get me down…but it sure was strange.

Fast forward to the next day as I write this reflection and it is clear that I want and need closure. To feel the ecstatic openness of universal connection but to let it go again, to be present in the now of now with still mind and open heart. I leave this blog to return once again, to my yoga mat, for a kundalini yoga kriya to awaken the ten bodies. For if I understand and am aware of my energy bodies, to know what is my field, to acknowledge the pranic threads currently connecting me to this stranger, then this seems a god start.

[felicity-jai-avtar]

I need to ask the question Then sit still and listen To life's new proposition For my evolution

Kaypacha

[felicity-jai-avtar]

Synchronicity

I had a mission in Penang. Firstly, get a Thai visa. Secondly do some shopping in India town for some supplies for Liz and Alfie’s upcoming wedding. But with a surprising sprinkle of magic, my mission was to take a whole new purpose.

Little India was easy to find, only half a dozen blocks from my hotel. After ducking in and out of many colourful shops, I was pointed in the direction of a large Mohorin Store, a treasure trove of holy powders, blessings, decorations, foods and body products. 

Success! After spending most of my ringgit I had a few left for an iced tea tarrik and some deep fried indian snacks on the way home. Wandering up the street, it felt really hot, so I clung to the shaded shop side, hoping to keep just that little bit cooler. The doorways here in Georgetown, the tiled shopfronts and home porches, are an artist’s inspiration. The patterns sung to my heart, such beauty in the details. 

I had almost walked past Baba’s shop, but a gold singing bowl drew my attention and like a wave, with a natural flow, I walked in. The shop was crowded with goods, a busy mess of bits and pieces, from Ramayana shadow puppets and hand carved wooden boxes, to Nepalese and Indian trinkets. On my right side there were some small singing bowls on a shelf next to some tingsha’s. I gave them a go, but the lip of the bowls curved in, a style I hadn’t come across yet, and they played slowly and with some difficulty. The friendly shopkeeper Kal got chatting and brought in a larger heavier bowl from outside. This one was powerful. It rang deep and high. 7 metals he said. He let me know that his brother, a healer, does free sound healing sessions out the front, but he’s just gone for coffee. 

I stayed and chatted a while, and thinking it might be time to head home, I made moves to leave. But wait Kal said, his brother had finished his coffee and is now on his way back. Just stay a little while longer. Eventually, an older Nepalese man wandered in. We chatted about many things. He showed me his 3 kilo grams of beaded and crystal adornments. All powerful. “Heavy I said, but also light yeah”. To this he smiled. After some time I asked about the sound healing and he offered to do a session for me.

It was different to any other sound healing I had received before. I was anointed with aromatherapy oils, a large singing bowl was placed upside down on my head, and it was gonged. This was the same bowl I was drawn to. After the head gonging : ) the bowl was moved across my crown chakra, across my arc line, my third eye and my throat chakra. He held the bowl with my face positioned at the centre of it, striking it strongly. He held it a little way off and blew air across it. With this technique, I could feel the sound washing through the energy centre at my throat. Energy was stirred up. I could feel a great deal of tension at my throat, and it was vibrating strongly here. After opening my eyes he asked me how I was feeling. I wasn’t able to answer immediately, the pulsing at my throat was yet to settle or move on. He picked up the larger of the two bowls, and placed it on my back. Here he used the bowl to massage my shoulder and neck area with the strong vibrations of the bowl, creating a powerful and unique sensation. Sonic massage. I could feel the tension releasing and a greater feeling of lightness awash me. 

I drank some water and thanked him. We talked about sound healing, he showed me to hold the mallet fingers down as I rimmed the bowl. To not be afraid of striking the bowl strongly, and hear how in different places and with different force, it vibrates differently. When I brought my mouth up to the bowls edge I could fish mouth like I was already taught or I could take the vibration in to my body by using my tongue up and down. Both methods changed the way the sound waves moved. I could feel it. I could hear it. 

Guru Baba ji showed me the seven chakra bowls. Able to be placed on the body and struck. the lighter tone, starting at the root chakra and stronger deeper tone for the crown chakra. This approach, different from what I had already understood. He spoke of his healing practice, when he uses the bowls for another being, it is also very healing for himself. The energy goes through him, and there can be no blocks. I told him that it is like this when I teach yoga also, I become a clear channel. No mind, just vibration. Meditation. 

A local shopkeeper arrived, it felt a little like an interruption at first (my interpretation) but her need for a healing session with Baba was clear and she pleaded with him to see her. She had a kind of frantic energy and her words were fast and manic. Baba ji acquiesced. He asked me to stay and sit in the chair he had been using. So she sat down where I had been, and the unseen became seen. I was able to watch the magic happen. Feel the magic happen. As he struck the bowl at her third eye chakra and each end of the arc line, he would do a sequence, over the top of the crown ear to ear, third eye, across the brow, ear lobe to ear lobe. He would then strike the larger bowl sitting on the counter. This made a strange and sometimes awkward sound, rattling the glass cabinet. I wondered if this was to ground the soundscape, or signal another chapter in the sound story? 

I felt the energy in her shift, I could sense her pulsing in the throat. When he finished, he anointed her with a Shiva powder. Baba showed me a small ornate wooden bowl full of a bright orange powder with a collection of differently shaped puffs. These he told me represented many different Hindu gods. The one he used was Shiva, the other side of the same puff was Pravarti. 

The lady asked Baba ji for a blessing and bowed at his feet as he touched her head. She felt more calm, her words softer, her smile relaxed, and as she looked to me she asked Baba for a translation so she could explain why she had bowed to him. 

I felt humbled to witness this ceremony and also honored to have these kind people, patiently teach me, as well.

After a little more sitting, and contemplating and questions and conversation. It was time to leave. Baba invited me to dinner for chapati down the road, and I asked if I could offer him dinner in thanks for the exchange. 

I wandered down the road a little high, floating. I had been transported through time and space, and it took me a little while at the intersection, to orient myself towards my hotel again.

Extraordinary I thought. I set off from Australia on a sound quest. But a gazillion tangents later, I have felt distant from this quest, and its presence and purpose put to the ‘back of my mind’. My subconscious clearly called it forward again, providing me with this wonderful opportunity to connect with a sound Guru. Needing no formal setting or organised course, my interest, attitude, energy and dharma called forth the lesson. 

As I write this from my hotel room, I can feel that bowl vibrating in me still. Or is that the undertones of the ceiling fan? My sensitivity feels heightened. And I ask myself, can I accept this calling? Can I accept my intuition which tells me that this gold bowl must be the next one in my collection. Needed for my own healing and the healing of others. 

And as I type this, feeling the need to ground this experience and preserve the detail of it. It feels significant. It feels like a piece of my cosmic puzzle placed gently into the story board. The vision clear, and becoming more whole. I am brought to tears now. Feeling moved by gratitude for this experience. 

Profound yet so easy and casual. 

Magic.

[felicity-jai-avtar]

The Aha

The Ahaaa 

When you know that there never was any separation between who you are now and who you were then. Past and present come colliding into a moment of realization. 

And those times you thought you were someone else: Illusions? Forgetfulness? 

Well...

Peace to you my ego. May all layers of who I think I am and who I want and don’t want to be dissolve. So that this spark of life is my identity. May I surrender to the all that is. United in this moment. Truth my identity. Sat Nam

[felicity-jai-avtar]

Resort Reflections

What strange creatures we are

to travel across the world to

simplify, stop and sun ourselves.

Our bronzed bodies

bumping up against each other

as we carefully claim

our own beachfront realty.

I used to need this kind of ‘break’

squeezed in between the pressures 

of WORK and 

life

and BUSY’NESS.

Now it seems silly,

as slow sunny days slide smoothly into daily giving.

Balance enjoyed in the practice of living.

[felicity-jai-avtar]

Truth

I know when I hear truth

it speaks to my soul

which ripples out in

GOOSE-PIMPLES

that suspend all other thoughts.

Tangible truth.