figtreesandmoonlight

[figtreesandmoonlight]

so i'm looking for another fic...

i saved this pin in my marvel board like 8 months ago and found the fix in the coments but it just fucking disappeared and i can't find it now 😭

[figtreesandmoonlight]

Pool Day

Bucky X Reader One shot, Angst, Fluff

Summary: The sun is out, and the team want to enjoy it. But pool days didn’t bring the usual spark of joy to your eyes as everyone else. Between scars won on battlefields and others inflicted in the darkest moments of your life, you didn’t love having your body on display to the world. But in Bucky Barnes’ eyes, you’re the whole world, and the raised lines on your body only tell your story. To him, you are everything, and he won’t let you forget it. 

TWS: descriptions of scars, body dysmorphia, mentions to former self-harm (this one was close to home to write about, so please look after yourselves and don’t read if it could trigger you!!!)

It was hot. Too hot. For the last week, the sky had been filled with thick grey clouds, barely casting any shapes in the sky, instead pressing down like an electric blanket of nightmares with no off switch. The whole team had been crammed into the living room of the compound for the last few days, arguing over ice-cream flavours and savouring the power of the air-con system built into the building. Essentially, you’d been trapped in a room of over-excited puppies with nowhere to burn off their energy.

 Sam and Yelena were constantly bickering, Bob looked like he wanted to turn into a puddle permanently, and Alexi had eaten so many ice lollies you thought he might turn into one. John and Ava were like little children hyped up on too much sugar, insisting on training and sparring in the heat, which had led to John passing out on the mats of the gym and a training ban going out across the whole compound. 

For your part, you and Bucky had made the most of the cool air in the compound, sat on the sofa, mostly refusing to move, catching up on the latest season of Doctor Who. Bucky didn’t really get it, but you’d grown up with the timelord, and in the early stages of your relationship, you’d made it clear to Bucky that if he wanted to be with you, he was going to have to get into the show. Much to your relief (you really did like Bucky after all, and you really did need him to at least try to watch the show), Bucky had done his due diligence, sat down, and, after finally stopping with endless questions, got somewhat into the show. You knew it wasn’t really his thing, but he knew you loved it, and he loved you, so he wanted to share it with you, and the oppressive heat gave him the perfect opportunity. 

When the temperature had finally dropped late last night, you and Bucky had retreated to your room, Bucky carrying your drowsy body in his arms. He’d passed you a pair of his shorts to wear to sleep with your sports bra, knowing you loved to be cozied up in his clothes in the night despite the crazy heat. With a kiss on your forehead and his cooling metal arm slung softly across your waist, you’d nuzzled closer into Bucky, falling asleep. While he tended to run as hot as a human furnace, the cold of his metal arm combined with the air conditioning in your room meant you could still hold Bucky close as you slept, something you both needed to help you through a peaceful night's sleep. Sure enough, you both drifted off to sleep, faint hopes of the weather breaking in the back of both of your minds. 

Light was pouring into your bedroom, slowly pulling you into consciousness as you nuzzled your head into the soft pillow beneath you, feeling Bucky’s metal arm pull you closer into him as you let out a muffled laugh. ‘Mornin’ doll,’ the giant of a man rumbled behind you, now effectively having trapped you against his chest. You shuffled around to face him with a gentle smile spreading across your cheeks as you turned, still enclosed in his arms. ‘Hey baby’ you responded softly, traces of sleep still audible in your slightly croaky voice. ‘You sleep okay?’ You asked, hand coming up to rest on Bucky’s chest. ‘Always do when you’re here’, he replied, letting his eyes shut briefly as he rested his forehead against yours. Bucky did this most mornings, taking a moment to ground himself in his reality with you, safe and happy in bed. He often told you he still couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe he got to be with you, to protect you and love you. You felt the same. 

After a little while of blissful silence, you wriggled out of Bucky’s arms, leaving a sleepy pout on his lips as you stood up, his shorts hung low on your hips. ‘Come on loverboy, I want coffee,’ you teased, swinging your hips just a little extra as you left your room, knowing Bucky would be quick to follow behind. As you came to a standstill at the island counter in the kitchen, you felt Bucky’s arms settle across your waist from behind. When you were in a room together, more often than not, you and Bucky would be stood like this. Bucky was protective over you; he liked to know you were safe in his arms. With the job you both had, it made him feel happier knowing that if something were to happen, he could get you out of there asap. You just loved the feeling of Bucky wrapping himself around you, finding immense comfort in his embrace, and knowing that it made him happy to hold you there. 

You shuffled as a pair to the coffee machine, Bucky refusing to let you out of his grip with a huff and a grumble of ‘mine’ slipping from his lips. It was a good job none of the team was awake yet; you could just imagine the ribbing you’d get. After a longer-than-necessary coffee-making process (every time you reached for something, Bucky’s hand would snatch it first, holding it above his head until you kissed him) the pair of you settled in the courtyard, coffee cups in hand, you sat on Bucky’s lap as the sun bathed the both of you in a morning light. You leant your head back onto Bucky’s shoulder as he told you how in the 40’s he and his sister Rebecca would sit on the fire escape when the sun was like this, drinking terrible coffee before being chased off to school by their Ma. You swapped it with a story of your family camping trip when you were a kid. You’d woken the whole family up before sunrise, and you all drank coffee and hot chocolate as golden oranges painted the sky. 

It was a shout from Bob that broke the two of you out of your moment of bliss. ‘WERE HAVING A POOL DAY’ was the sound that had both of your heads turning to look through the glass door to the kitchen. There stood Bob, swimming trunks already on, goggles dangling from his neck, pool floatie wrapped under his arms and an enormous grin spread across his face, banging on the glass at the pair of you. If Bucky noticed the way your body tensed slightly at Bob’s words, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he shifted you off his lap, pulling you to your feet and slinking an arm around your waist and laughing out loud: ‘Come on, Doll, we gotta keep the kids entertained.’

The pair of you made your way back into the kitchen to find Sam making breakfast for the group. Yelena and Ava were both wearing bikinis, Yelena’s black and Ava’s patterned. Your stomach sank a little more. ‘Ok ya’ll here’s the plan,’ Sam began, while you settled into the sofa, slightly removed from the rest of the group, hoping that at some point you could slip away without anyone noticing. ‘We’re gonna eat some breakfast and head to the pool …’ Sam carried on talking, but you’d tuned him out as Bucky sat on the sofa next to you, giving you an apple and a questioning look. You just nodded, taking the fruit from Bucky, and tuning back in just as Sam declared the day ‘mandatory team bonding’. You took a bite of the apple, which felt sour and heavy as you forced a smile out at Bucky, swallowing before softly saying, ‘I’ll go get changed. See you in a bit?’ 

Bucky’s response was a kiss on the cheek and a quick ‘sure’ as he walked over to the island where Sam was dishing up eggs, bacon, pancakes and more, while you dropped most of your apple into the bin as you walked out. You didn’t catch Bucky’s worried gaze following you as you left. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want a pool day with the team. Hell, after the muggy heat of the last few days and a rough string of missions, it sounded exactly like what the team needed. But the idea of lounging around in a bikini or swimming costume in front of the team of super soldiers and some of the fittest humans known to man? It dug up feelings that you thought you’d left behind in your teens. 

You plopped down onto your bed, staring at your body below you. Like almost every teenage girl under the sun, you’d struggled with body image issues while you were at school.  You’d started skipping lunches, and there were no teachers to check you were going in and eating after all. On top of that, it became increasingly easy to skip breakfast, claiming you were running late for the bus, and that you would grab something on the way. With some of your friends struggling with their own body image issues, it was easy for skipped meals to happen. Mercifully, as you got older, you broke the cycle with a lot of effort and more than one breakdown and relapse. You were healthy. You ate well, treated yourself, and worked out. Calories don’t matter to you anymore; what your body tells you it needs is what it gets. But it was moments like this that had you feeling like you were fifteen all over again. Defeatedly, you stood from the bed after being trapped inside your head for a while, trudging over to your dressing table and pulling out a plain black swimming costume, with subtle rouching at the sides. 

You slipped the shiny material over your body, pulling your hair up before turning to look in the mirror. Your eyes tracked over your body as you felt lower and lower, a pit of numb sadness building in your stomach. Your thighs, toned with muscle, looked too big, your stomach not toned enough under the material, your boobs too big, pulling at the cups of the swimsuit, and your hips somehow too big and not curvy enough at once. 

What didn’t help was that, under the gentle glow of sunlight falling on you through the window, the little white lines that ran across your left arm shone like wisps of smoke drawn in lines up into the sky. You weren’t ashamed of them. The team knew well enough some of the mental battles you’d fought, knew they’d seen the scars before. Knew they would never judge you for them. And the rest of your scars, the ones won on missions and in battles, had never bothered you; you weren’t proud of them, per say, but they had meaning, there was no shame behind how they were acquired. But today, as the warm sun shone down, you felt trapped in your own body, and you hated those little thin lines. Hated how they marked your arms. How they’d never let you forget some of the worst days of your life. Your right hand lifted to trace over them, rubbing slightly, as though they could be wiped away. Between the scars and your body not ‘fitting right’ today, the very last thing you wanted to do was go and sit by a pool and pretend to be happy. To pretend not to notice Bob’s sad eyes on your scars, the perfect curves of Yelena and Ava, the looks from Alexi and John, Sam’s subtle reminders he was always there to talk. They meant well. They all did. But it was too much.

‘That brain of your’s giving you trouble?’ came a soft voice from behind you. You turned to see Bucky in the doorway to your room, leaning up against the frame of the door, a questioning look in his eyes. ‘Mmm’ was the only sound that left your lips as you turned back to the mirror in an attempt to hide your gaze from Bucky. You heard your boyfriend’s movements behind you, catching him behind you in the mirror just moments before his arms found their usual place around your waist. ‘Cuz I can always fight it, if you want.’ You let out a little laugh at that, a distraction really, still not meeting Bucky’s eye. Gentle hands softly turned your body so you were facing Bucky, as cool metal fingers held your hip, and his warm flesh ones tilted your chin up until you were looking him in the eyes. ‘I’m serious, Doll. Talk to me?’ he asked, not pushing, but promising you he was there. 

‘It’s just,’ you started, eyes ducking away from Bucky as you let out a deep sigh, ‘I don’t love the way I look today,’ you admitted, resting your forehead on Bucky’s chest as you felt him take a deep breath in. ‘I just - I don’t look like Yelena or Ava, and I never will. And my scars, they just - in the mirror-’ you trailed off slowly. Bucky was still for a minute, resting his chin on the top of your head. You could feel his voice vibrate as in a soft voice, he asked, ‘Can I show you something, Doll?’ You nodded your head. Bucky’s hands on your hips slowly turned your body so that you were facing the mirror again. 

Before you had the chance to say anything, Bucky gently shushed you. ‘What I see is perfect.’ His hands started to softly move on your hips. ‘What I see is the strongest person I know. The bravest’ he kisses your shoulder, ‘kindest’ another kiss, ‘strongest’ another ‘perfect woman.’ Bucky moved around, now kneeling in front of you, blocking the mirror. ‘These thighs? God Doll, they drive me crazy, they so soft, so sexy, so strong.’ He kisses each of your thighs. ‘These hips, they fit in my arms perfectly, the perfect size for my hands to hold you down when I make you scream my name’ more kisses, ‘and I love them. And your stomach,’ he places another kiss on it. ‘I think it’s what I love the most. It tells me you're healthy, tells me you're being kind to yourself, loving yourself as much as I do.’ 

Bucky slowly stands, arms reaching for your left arm with the utmost care. ‘And these,’ he says, raising your arm into the space between the two of you, ‘I won’t lie to you, doll. It makes me sad to think about when you got these, how I wasn’t there to tell you how much I love you, how perfect you are. But these lines,’ he presses a kiss onto the first of your scars, ‘they tell me just how strong my girl is.’ A second, chaste kiss is pressed into your arm. ‘They’re a testament to the hardest battle you’ve ever fought.’ Another kiss. ‘And they show that you won.’ More kisses. ‘When I see these, I feel so much pride for you, for how strong you are, how perfect, how you didn’t let the darkness around you consume you. You fought it. And now we get to fight it together.’ With his lips still pressed to your arm, Bucky locks eyes with you. ‘You might not see it my way, doll. But to me, you’re perfect. You’re my girl, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let you feel anything but perfect around me.’ Your heart feels so full, you think it might explode as you whisper out a small ‘thank you’. A stray tear makes its way down your cheek, but Bucky’s hand is there to brush it away as he leans into a tender, loving kiss. 

‘It’s up to you, love. We can tell the team to go without us, and hide in here for the rest of the day. Or we can go join ‘em. No pressure either way. Just tell me what you need.’ Bucky’s voice was soft, the low hum of it comforting you. ‘Come on, Buck,’ you say, standing up a little straighter, grabbing his hand in your own, ‘let’s go have that pool day.’ You lead Bucky through the walls of the compound, his hand in yours all the way, a proud smile glowing on Bucky’s cheeks as the pair of you move towards the cacophony of sound coming from the pool area. 

In turning the corner, you see Bob, underwater, performing a handstand, Alexi and John running around, shooting each other with water guns, Yelena and Ava lying in the sun, and Sam sat with his legs dangling in the pool as he reads some trashy romance novel. ‘What a bunch of idiots, ’ you say, smiling as you and Bucky pause in the doorway. ‘Yeh, they are,’ he replies, a smirk on his face, ‘but they’re ours.’ You laugh back ‘That they are sarge,’ as you move towards the pool, clapping and telling Bob he got a 10 for his ‘beautiful handstand’. Bucky had come to stand next to you at the edge of the pool, and in a split-second decision, you jumped behind Bucky, giving him a quick push and sending him flailing into the water below you. As water flies everywhere, Bucky comes up spluttering, laughing out ‘Oh you’ll pay for that!’ as he grabs your arm, pulling you in after him. As you break the surface of water, Bucky pulls you into his arms and into a kiss. ‘I love you so much, Doll.’ 

‘I love you more, Buck.’

Authors Note: Hello lovelies! All the hearts and comments mean the world as I'm getting back into writing! More than happy to take requests / prompts

[figtreesandmoonlight]

Let It Burn

Bucky Barnes X Reader One Shot

Word Count: 6.2K

Summary: Your boyfriend, or your now ex-boyfriend, you should say, had cheated on you. Not only that, you’d walked in on them. The ‘them’ in question is him and your best friend from college. Safe to say, you're devastated. You withdraw from the team and the world entirely. But Bucky Barnes wasn’t going to let his best girl suffer alone any longer. And he has a plan to help you get over your ex. All it takes is a couple of matches and a rooftop, right? 

Story: 

You weren’t really sure how long you’d lain in bed. You’d told FRIDAY to keep the door locked and the blinds down unless an emergency mission came through. And even then, it needed to be a real emergency. An aliens-from-space-have-come-back level emergency. 

Everything ached. Your cheeks ached, your lungs ached, your ribs ached, your eyes ached, your head ached. And your heart. That felt like it had been ripped in two. So you lay there, searching your body and your mind to feel anything. Anything other than the hurt that was crippling you. You didn’t know when you’d started crying. You didn’t know when you’d stopped either. Hell, you didn’t even know how you’d got to your room. 

Ronan was the love of your life. Or, he was meant to be. You’d got together in your final year of university. You’d both studied music at Cambridge, and fallen in love while battling each other across supervision tables.  Hell, when you’d moved for work, assuming your relationship would have to end, he followed you to the States. He stood by you when the world found out about your powers, when people were calling you dangerous, when people were calling for you to be locked up. He’d stayed with you when you got the call from Nicky Fury, when you’d been invited to join the Avengers, when you’d been given a room in the compound and invited to call it home. 

He hadn’t moved into the compound with you. After a few late-night conversations and harsh words from both sides, you’d both eventually agreed that you needed to move in on your own at first, and find your place within the team before he joined you. You needed to feel like you belonged at the compound and with your new extended family. So you had. 

After a few days of feeling like an intruder, you’d been invited by Sam to a whole team training session. You’d never have expected it, but being thrown down into the mats about ten times in a row by Captain America, and being helped back up after each fall, was what helped you feel at home with the team. That, and the cheer that rose from the team when you finally managed to score a point back, putting THE Captain America on his arse with one extrordinarily timed kick. It was a mix of skill and, honestly, good luck, but the laugh that Sam barked out in pleasant surprise and the metal hand that clasped your shoulder in praise helped you find your feet with your new family. 

For the first time that night, after a movie and take-out, you’d fallen asleep in your room without calling Ronan in tears, thinking you’d made some huge mistake. Things only got better, you built up relationships with all the team in different ways, often working out in the gym with Sam, tinkering in the lab with Bruce, and talking with Wanda. Then there was Bucky. You didn’t know how to explain your relationship with him. It wasn’t like you weren’t friends. You were the closest to him of all the members of the team. But in quiet ways. In almost silent walks to and from coffee shops in town, in sitting together in his room and listening to Bucky’s vinyl collection from the 40s. In the way you’d sit up together on nights when neither of you could sleep, watching films from your childhood in an attempt to ���educate’ Bucky, or listening to him tell stories about Steve before he got huge. Neither of you was an especially tactile person, but in those quiet moments, you’d always find yourselves maintaining a point of contact between you. You felt it in the way his chest rumbled and his shoulders shook when you made him laugh, he felt it in the way your head would always find itself resting on his arm or his chest when you’d fall asleep, despite claiming you ‘weren’t even tired’. 

Bucky and Ronan had never really got on. You’d always assumed it was some kind of culture clash, something about the two guys personalities never quite mixing. You didn’t know that the first time you’d properly introduced him to the team, Bucky spent the entire night finding out every single bit of information he could about Ronan. The bad, and the even worse. Bucky had found out about Ronan’s history of being less-than-faithful. To put it bluntly, before he got with you, Ronan had slept around. A lot. When he was supposed to be in a relationship with another woman. 

Bucky pulled you aside after training one day, eyes gentle, talking to you like some kind of injured animal. All you could think was that you’d fucked up somehow. That you were being kicked off the team. That you’d done something to hurt Bucky. When he’d finally spat it out, Bucky had never expected you to laugh, telling him that you already knew, and that Ronan had ‘grown up’ a lot since then. But you’d laughed with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. And the concern in Bucky’s eyes never quite melted away. You assured him that Ronan would never do something like that to you, that you were happy. That you were in love. So instead, Bucky took to watching. To observing whenever Ronan was around, never engaging, but never ignoring either. Watching with distaste at how Ronan treated you like you were an accessory, an addition, and not his whole world. How his eyes would roll at you when you weren’t looking. At how he always made jokes at your expense. It made you sad that the two men you were closest to weren’t friends. But they didn’t hate each other either. And you decided that that was good enough for now. Over time, they’d come to an understanding, you were sure. Because how could you love them both so deeply if they didn’t get on?

You’d told Ronan you were going to stay the night at the Compound: he’d been at work all day and was going to stay in the city rather than battle the rush hour traffic. It was the perfect plan. You’d left the compound after training, knowing that Ronan had been pulling long hours in the office recently. You were going to surprise him with a home-cooked dinner after work. You’d pulled up outside your shared apartment block on one of Bucky’s bikes; he’d taught you how to ride when you first joined the team, and told you that you had free rein on his bikes whenever you needed one. So from time to time, you took him up on his offer. You pulled the groceries out of the back compartment and moved to the front door, excitement building in your chest. While you cooked, you mused, you’d put on one of the albums Bucky had been trying to get you to listen to. Each album he recommended felt as though he was offering a part of himself up to you, a special memory of his past, and you took it in with open, careful hands. Yes, it’d be the perfect thing to listen to whilst you cooked. 

You hummed to yourself as the elevator (which had only recently been fixed) ascended to your floor. Yet as the old doors rattled open, a sense of unease filled your stomach. Your apartment sat at the end of the hall, and you could hear noise emanating from it. At least, it was coming either from yours or Mrs Johnson’s flat, but you didn’t have her pegged as someone who listened to Lola Young. So, Ronan was home early. He’d only texted you an hour ago, saying his boss was keeping him late, but maybe he’d worked something out? You didn’t know. Sure, it was odd, but hey, it meant you got to spend even more time with your favourite person, so who cares? And you could still surprise him and make dinner for the two of you. At least that was what you tried to convince yourself as you walked down the hallway, your fingers unconsciously tightening around the handle of the shopping bag you were carrying, the pit in your stomach deepening as the music got louder and you got closer.

Your hands were shaking as you lifted your key to the lock. You could hear someone moving around inside. You could hear someone laughing. A woman’s voice. A laugh that you would recognise anywhere. But Sophie was out of town. Your best friend had told you she had to go and look after her sick aunt. You hadn’t questioned it. Hell, you’d sent her flowers. But you knew her laugh. She was in your apartment. And so was Ronan. You couldn’t breathe, air catching in your throat as you tried to draw in some air while opening the door to your home. To the home you shared with the man you thought you’d be with forever. 

The groceries were on the floor. You didn’t register yourself dropping them. Didn’t hear the thud of them hitting the floor. An apple rolled into the corner of your peripheral vision. You didn’t notice it. All that you saw was your boyfriend and Sophie, on the sofa, fucking. There was no nice way of putting it. There they were, jeans thrown across the rug you’d thrifted for your first-ever apartment, Ronan on top of Sophie, moaning her name into her hair. He hadn’t even heard you come in. Sophie did though. Her eyes shot open as she tried to sit up, locking eyes with you and yelping out ‘shit’. 

That was what brought you back to yourself. Your brain hadn’t caught up to what you were seeing, but your body was on autopilot, turning out of the room, the combination of Ronan and Sophie swearing and calling after you falling on deaf ears. You were in the lift when Ronan started to run after you, jeans hastily pulled over his legs and unbuttoned. The doors shut just in time to save you from a conversation you simply couldn’t have had in that moment. Your breathing was shallow, waves of tension were rolling over your body, swiftly followed by ones of nausea. Home. That was all that was running through your mind, on repeat like a mantra. Home. Home. Home. You shouldn’t have been driving. Not really. But you needed to get out of there. Needed to be at the compound. You could fall apart there. There would be people to put you back together. But you couldn’t do that here. Not in front of them. 

The roads were mercifully empty. You’d dissociated for the entirety of the ride, but you somehow found yourself back at the compound. The sun had set at some point during your drive, and you pulled into the garage in darkness. You didn’t respond to FRIDAY as she welcomed you home. You dropped the jacket and helmet you were wearing on the floor - you could come and get them another day. Right now, everything was too tight. Too much. The sterile lights of the garage felt like they were interrogating you. The hum of the air conditioning was too loud. Your jeans were too sculpted to your skin. Your hands started shaking again as you got into the lift but you didn’t notice. You didn’t ask FRIDAY to take you anywhere specific. You were too afraid of what would come out of your mouth if you opened it. But in the silence of the lift, the shaking of your hands moved up your arms, as you desperately wrapped them around yourself, desperate for any kind of comfort. Your breaths were coming hard, fast and sharp, as the tears that you had fought the whole drive home forced themselves over the edge of your eyes, burning hot tracks down your cheeks, your hand pressing against your mouth to try and stop the cries that were forcing their way out. You were falling apart, and you were alone. 

But not for long. The lift had moved without you realising. You didn’t have time to try and stifle the sobs that were coming out of your mouth as the doors to the elevator opened onto the common room floor. Someone yelled a greeting over their shoulder to you, but you didn’t hear it. You tried to take a step out of the elevator, but your legs betrayed you, and you crumpled to the ground, like a can put under too much pressure, with a loud thud and a surprised cry you didn’t even know you had let out. ‘Shit!’ Tears were flowing openly now, and you couldn’t stop the sobs that wracked your body. Bucky and Sam rushed into your vision in an instant. Someone was talking to FRIDAY, asking for scans, yelling for scans of something. Soft hands cradled the sides of your face, and ocean blue eyes filled with concern bore into your own. But you couldn’t breathe. Let alone respond to the person in front of you. Something cold and hard pressed into your chest, grounding you, pulling you back to reality from the hellscape you’d found yourself trapped in. One of your palms was guided to rest against something equally hard and soft, something warm, rising and falling slowly. Bucky. Your hand was on Bucky’s chest. He was asking you, practically begging you to ‘breathe with me doll’. 

So you tried, because Bucky was your best friend and you’d always do everything you could for him. You could still hear Sam in the background, saying something or other to FRIDAY. The scans. He was asking for scans of your body, for security footage. 

Oh. They thought you were hurt. They thought you’d been attacked. That’s why they looked so scared. 

Your breath was still rattling through your body, shaking all of you as it forced its way in and out of your lungs. But it had slowed down a little. Enough, now, that you could stammer out ’N-not hurt’. Bucky and Sam exchanged a glance. It was worried. Sam looked scared, his jaw was set, his lips pursed in a straight line, while worry creased his brow. But this slackened, barely perceptibly, as he realised whatever happened to you wasn’t physical. Bucky, on the other hand, looked more angry at the news. There was a fire burning in his eyes, his jaw clenched, and you felt the metal palm still resting against your chest shift slightly, tensing even more than it was. He was furious, you realised, your frantic eyes now taking in the way his shoulders had lifted with tension, the way that his flesh hand was curled into a fist. There was a sadness, too. You saw it in the way that his eyes, after scanning your body to confirm for himself that you weren’t physically hurt, softened when they locked with yours. 

The pressure on your chest that was grounding you suddenly eased away, as Bucky’s arms snaked under your knees and across your back. Your head rested in the crook of his neck, your tears falling into Bucky’s Henley as he lifted you from the floor of the elevator. In any other situation, it would have been almost comic to see the way the three Avengers had squeezed themselves into the tiny space. But not right now. Instead, Sam led the way to the sofa, onto which Bucky placed you down as gently as if you were shattering porcelain. You felt like you were. Something inside you was breaking into a million pieces, and you weren’t sure it would ever fix itself back together. Sam pressed a mug of something warm into your hand, and Bucky’s hand never left your back, running it up and down gently, letting you work out the sadness that was wracking your body while reminding you that he was there for you. Sam leant down and whispered something into Bucky’s ear that you couldn’t hear. Without ever breaking his focus on you, Bucky nodded to Sam, approving whatever he said, before Sam walked into the elevator. 

You and Bucky were left on the sofa. Slowly, your mind came back into your body, grounded by the contact with Bucky, through the warmth in your hands, by the soft and reassuring presence refusing to move from your side. As your sobbing slowed, you recognised a litany of whispering coming from Bucky, ‘just breathe, Doll, you’re gonna be okay. I’m here. Just keep breathing for me.’ Something in the back of your mind recognised that it was the same words he would repeat after you had a nightmare. You were eventually in enough control of your breathing to match it to the strokes of Bucky’s hand across your back. For a while, you were sitting in silence with Bucky, side by side. Your head tilted to rest on his shoulder, and his human hand came to thread his fingers through your hair. 

‘Ronan was cheating on me,’ you eventually whispered out, your voice hoarse from crying, breaking a little as you spoke. ‘I went to surprise him and he and Sophie were- were…’ you trailed off. You couldn’t finish the sentence. Bucky didn’t need you to. He simply stilled his hand in your hair, manoeuvring you so that you were once again pressed into his chest. And he just held you. No false promises. No empty words of reassurance. Just Bucky. Immovable Buck, who, deep down, you knew would always be by your side. Eventually, you felt your eyes droop, exhaustion hitting you like a brick wall, as you allowed the comfort enveloping you to lull you into sleep. Bucky placed a gentle kiss to your forehead, and once you were asleep, he whispered to you ‘I have you, Doll. And he’ll never hurt you again, I promise. I won’t let him.’ Slowly, tenderly, Bucky lifted your unconscious body into his arms and rose from the couch. He walked down the corridor to your room, the one opposite his. Friday opened your door without him having to say anything, soft lighting bathing your room as he walked over to your bed. He placed you down gently, shifting you so you were under the covers. He dropped down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead and to wipe away the tears that were still falling from your eyes, even in your sleep. With one final look, he turned from your room, fists clenched into balls of rage, jaw set and eyes dark as Bucky headed down to the garage and his bike. Nothing was going to stop him. 

And that was how you got to where you are now. Cocooned in what was perhaps your fourth or fifth day of rotting in bed. You’d only begrudgingly left the safety of your bed to go to the bathroom, or grab a bite of something from one of the many plates the team had left outside your door. It was like they were on some kind of rota, each member of the team bringing you a meal you wouldn’t eat, pleading outside of your door for you to let them in, before eventually giving up. You hadn’t even listened to them; after the first time Sam tried to talk to you through your door, you’d asked FRIDAY to soundproof the room. It was nothing personal, but the world around you had been completely broken. Ronan had always been your constant. From uni, to the move, to joining the team. He’d always been there. And when he cheated on you, he ripped away your best friend in the process. Through their joint action, your whole world had been ripped away. And you were gutted. Not in that disappointed way. It felt as though someone had split you open with a knife, and one by one ripped out every part of your insides, stamping them into the gravel beneath their boot while you had to watch. You’d sunk into a kind of numbness. That was the only way to describe it; you couldn’t move. Couldn’t drink. Couldn’t eat. You barely felt alive. So you lay there, and let the world outside carry on turning without you. 

Bucky Barnes was pissed. The bruises on his fist had just about healed. He didn’t know if the ones that lingered came from the hole he punched in the drywall of the compound kitchen moments after he’d finally settled you in bed, or from his fist connecting with Ronan’s face. He didn’t care. He was still pissed. If he weren’t worried about killing the man, he’d go back. But Bucky didn’t think he’d be able to stop himself again. Sam had had to pull him off of the ass the first time. So now, he sat. Like a guard on watch. Bucky took up a sentinel outside your room. He’d moved there on day three of you refusing to come out. It was now day five. He’d seen your hand creep out at some point during the night of day four to grab a cereal bar and bottle of water that he’d left outside your room after the plates of food had gone untouched. His shoulders sagged a little at the sign of life, relieved that you were at least eating something. 

FRIDAY wouldn’t let anyone in, and the team were trying to respect your decision to lock yourself away. It was when Wanda explained to them that it was like you were grieving the loss of someone, that they started to understand a little more. Sam had done the same after losing his partner in the field. Bucky did the same after Steve left him to go back to Peggy. They got it. They were worried, but they got it. Or at least, they made the effort to. One night, as Bucky sat, as ever, watching over your room, ready to be there the second you were ready to be with someone, something changed. The anger that had been simmering beneath the surface finally erupted. He could hear you crying, his super soldier hearing surpassing FRIDAY’s ability to mute your room. You didn’t deserve this. Something inside of Bucky broke with every stifled whimper he heard, and damn it, he’d had enough. You deserved better, you were worth so much more, and he was going to show you it.

He had override access to your room. Your second mission with the team had been a failure. After it, you’d locked yourself in your room and failed to come out. That night, you’d had a nightmare severe enough to wake the whole compound with your screaming. Bucky had kicked your door in as he raced to get to you, FRIDAY’s locks be damned. He’d held you down as you fought against whatever was attacking you in your nightmare. He’d softly talked you back into the room when you woke up disoriented. He held you and listened to you as you cried. From that night onwards, Bucky had override access to your room. He hadn’t wanted to use it. He tried to make a point of it. Sam had suggested he use it a few days ago, just to make sure you were okay. But Bucky wanted to respect your space, to let you come to him. Except you weren’t. And he couldn’t do it any longer. He refused to sit on the other side of a door he knew you were suffering behind. Alone. He wouldn’t have it. He let out a nervous sigh, questioning if he was about to make the wrong call. 

‘FRIDAY, lockdown override, password Rainy Days.’ 

‘Lockdown protocol overridden, Mr Barnes’.

You heard the lock on your door open with a soft click. Your back was turned from the door, and you didn’t have it in you to move. A fresh wave of tears had let itself cascade down your cheeks, and everything felt so heavy that you couldn’t move. You felt the bed next to you dip slightly as the scent of cedar wood and cinnamon surrounded you.

 ‘I know you’re hurting, doll. And I’m not asking you to stop hurting. But I am asking you to let me in.’ You felt Bucky’s arms slide around your body to turn you over, gently pulling you out of your cocoon of safety so that your cheek was resting in the warmth of Bucky’s chest, his vibranium arm cradling the back of your head. The gentle rise and fall of Bucky’s chest and the kindness in his blue eyes as they searched for your own seemingly helped ease the pain radiating through you as your eyes met his. Looking into the blue eyes that captured your own, you let out the smallest whisper, ‘I wasn’t enough for him Buck.’

‘No, no doll,’ he replied instantly, his voice firm but driven by kindness as he pressed a quick kiss into your hair, ‘you are everything. Everything. You hear me? He was a fool for not seeing that.’ You didn’t have a response in you, not a verbal one anyway, so you chose to bury your head further into his chest, allowing the comfort of Bucky to wash over you. The pair of you stayed like that for a while, Bucky’s arms holding you tight, supporting you and surrounding you with a love you so desperately needed to feel as his chest gently rose and fell. At some point, Bucky had started humming under his breath. You didn’t recognise the melody that floated from him, more focused on the vibrations that the hum sent through his chest, helping ground you in the moment. Eventually, you looked up again at Bucky, for the first time in a week, feeling connected to the world you were in. ‘There you are, doll’ came Bucky’s voice from above you, as he smiled down at you, ‘had us all scared for a minute there. Come on, I got a plan for us.’ 

Bucky didn’t give you the chance to respond to him, pulling you into his arms and standing up from the bed with you still wrapped in them. You couldn’t help the little shriek that left your mouth at the unexpected movement, followed by the smallest of laughs that made Bucky’s heart sing. ‘What? Buck I don’t wanna -’ You asked, trying to wriggle your way out of his arms to no avail. Buck didn’t respond to you, instead merely replying in the form of his signature smirk as he walked you into the lift. ‘Take us up to the roof please, Fri’. 

‘The roof? Bucky, sweet as that sounds, I don’t think there’s gonna be any stars out yet.’

‘Hush doll,’ he replied quickly, ‘we don’t need any stars. I got something else planned to help you feel better’ he shifted you in his arms slightly.

‘On the roof?’ You deadpanned back to him. 

‘Mhm, we’re gonna push Sam off and see if Redwing comes to save him or not’

‘Buck-!’

‘Kidding, doll. But please, trust me on this? I wouldn't ask you to do anything right now that I thought might upset you. But you’ve been in that room too long.’

‘I’ll always trust you, Buck’ you replied, voice smaller than before, ‘you know that.’ You missed how his smile grew at your words, the warmth in your own chest distracting you. 

The doors to the lift opened silently. Bucky walked the pair of you out onto the roof. The sunset behind you was breathtaking, oranges, pinks and reds bled into each other, a symphony of a sunset playing out before your eyes. The clouds were rests, the sun the conductor, the birds that flew through the sky the notes on the stave painted out on the glorious colours in front of you. Bucky sat you down in front of the fire pit, on one of the chairs Sam had brought up weeks ago, officially declaring the weather nice enough for summertime ‘team bonding’ nights around the fire. So naturally, the first night everyone had sat out there, it had started raining before Sam could even get the fire lit. Your heart clenched briefly at the memory: you hadn’t been able to join the team that night. You and Ronan had fought about you spending more time with the team than with him, so you’d left the compound to head to the flat where another argument awaited you. Bucky had sent you photos of everyone running inside from the rain with the line ‘bet you’re missing this’. If only he’d known how true his joke was. 

Bucky crouched in front of the fire pit, the wood crackling to life with flames quickly. Bucky’s hands moved quickly, with an elegance that reminded you he’d probably learnt how to light a fire all those years ago in Brooklyn. How different his life was now. The tips of the flames were dancing where they met the golden sunset above them. Now, you felt his hands drape something soft over your shoulders, one of the blankets you guys kept up here for nights exactly like this. 

‘Now you got a choice, doll’ You looked up with confusion at Bucky from where he had turned around to face you. You weren’t sure you could string together a coherent conversation, let alone make any decisions. But Bucky carried on, ‘We can just sit in silence. And that’s fine, doll, I’m more than happy here with you watching the sun set. But, I found these’ Out of somewhere you didn’t know, Bucky had produced a cardboard box, the lid on so you couldn’t see inside. ‘Wanda said that after she broke up with her first partner, she and her friends had some kind of ritualistic cleansing burning ceremony or some shit. I know he’s in your guys’ apartment right now, but I found these, and I thought…I don’t know, it’s stupid really…’ Bucky had trailed off, a hand coming to rub the back of his neck as he now walked towards you with the box balanced on his metal hand. He slowly lowered himself into the space on the sofa next to you, leaving just enough of a gap between the two of you that you knew it was intentional. He was letting you decide if you were ready to see what was in the box. 

You were sitting up straight now, and the tightness in your stomach had returned. You were aware of how swollen your cheeks were, of how much your back ached from lying down for days on end, of how your breath stuttered slightly as you shuffled closer to Bucky. Slowly, your hands rested over his, one warm, the other cool, as you lifted off the lid of the box with him, feeling breathless the whole time. Inside the box were some of Ronan’s thing that had been scattered across the compound. One of his hoodies, one of his stupid notebooks that he tracked his workouts and diet in and a Polaroid of the two of you on the sofa in your flat. What was once your flat, anyway. The same sofa that…

‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, if you’re not ready, that’s fine. But I can’t just watch from the sidelines while you rot away, hun. You’re too precious for that. So if you wanna cry, I’m here. You wanna break shit? Great, lets go to the workshop. If you just want to sit, I love a sofa. But if doing Wanda’s cleanse-thingie, I got you covered. We’ve got a firepit and I’ve got no other plans doll.’

Your movement caught Bucky off guard, or you assume it did from the small ‘oomph’ he let out as you barrelled into him. You wrapped your arms around him, breathing in the scent of wood and vanilla as it mingled with the smoke from the burning fire pit. You burrowed your head into the crook of his neck, and his arms enclosed themselves around you, wrapping you in a tight embrace, one hand on your lower back, the other holding the back of your head. ‘Thank you, Bucky’, you whispered out. A tightness had found itself in your voice, but not from sadness. Instead, from the feeling of being seen. Bucky saw you and was willing to stand by you through whatever you needed. And what you needed, you realised, was to let Ronan’s shit burn. To free yourself from him, from any memory of him in your life. 

An almost giddy laugh borne from the nerves that rattled your core took over you as you reached into the box, picking up the Polaroid first. You held it in your hands, shaking every so slightly like a leaf in a light breeze as you studied your and Ronan’s faces. There was a genuine happiness on both of your faces. You’d just made it to New York. The next stage of your lives was about to begin together. But now, all this image conjured up was feelings of hurt. How long had he been cheating on you? How long had Sophie been lying to your face? Bucky gave you an encouraging nod, a warm smile spreading across his lips as the sound of your laugh pulled it out. You moved closer to the fire pit, taking a second to think about what you were doing. Were you ready to let all of this go? As you stared at the image, you felt Bucky’s metal arm slip around your waist, pulling you into him, letting his warmth surround you, as he softly spoke ‘You don’t have to do this, doll. It’s up to you.’ Surprisingly, that was the push you needed, the reassurance that regardless of what you chose, of what happened to you, Bucky would be there, to hold you up, to support you through it all. Your hand lingered over the fire, dangling the image so that the tongues of fire slowly lit the corner of the image. It burned slowly, and you watched as the fire enveloped the memory, reducing it to nothing but ash that could blow away in the wind. And as it burned, you felt lighter. Something in the act made you feel lighter. Freer. The fire was taking away the hurt. The nervous laugh at what you were doing turned into something light, sparked by joy and freedom instead of fear and regret. 

You took the box from Bucky now, eager to carry on, to remove all the remnants of Ronan from your life. You picked up the notebook, flipping it open to a page and without bothering to look at his messy scrawl, began ripping pages out of the book, screwing them up into balls and throwing them onto the fire, laughing all the while, your laughter matched with a lower one, which rumbled out from Bucky’s chest. ‘Hey Fri,’ Bucky called out, ‘give us some tunes’. The sound system on the roof burst to life, the joint team playlist providing a soundtrack for your evening. You rose to your feet, ripping faster now, watching the fire grow and grow, tiny specks of burnt paper floating into the air, landing in your hair, on your face, on your clothes. You didn’t care. You were free. At some point, Bucky had stood up with you, singing along to the Smiths song that was playing. He reached for your hands, inviting you into a dance, spinning you under his arm before pulling you into a hug while the pair of you swayed back and forth, laughing all the while. You felt the warm rumble of it as your head pressed to his chest. Bucky’s hand reached up to your face, gently cupping your cheek as his thumb brushed along your cheekbone, swiping away a stray piece of ash that had fallen onto your face. 

Your broke the moment, not recognising the feeling that was building in your chest from your closeness to Bucky, looking instead to the cardboard box that rested on the table next to the fire pit. All that was left now was the hoodie. You paused as you held it in your hands. It was just a stupid hoodie, but the comfort it brought you was more than that. It was too big for you, enveloping your frame when you wore it, filled with the soft scent that reminded you of your ex-boyfriend. ’Tell you what. Throw it on, and I’ll give you one of mine to replace it.’ You looked at Bucky, eyebrow quirked up, ‘That a promise, Barnes?’ You asked back, a cheeky smile spreading its way onto your lips as you allowed Bucky to draw you out of the brief stupor your mind had found itself in. 

‘I promise, doll. Let it burn.’  

[figtreesandmoonlight]

"We're gonna be okay"

Bucky X Reader Oneshot 

Summary: You and Bucky were on a mission to what was supposed to be an abandoned Hydra base. Except it wasn’t that abandoned. In fact, it was teeming with Hydra agents who weren’t too pleased to find two Avengers snooping around. With a raging storm shaking the outside world, extraction isn’t going to happen. Instead, you and Bucky find youselves holding out in a safe house, blood pouring out of each of you, alert and jumping at each noise, while you patch each other up. Will you find comfort with each other, or will your injuries become too bad before you can get out of there?

TW: cannon level violence, GSW, swearing

Story:

You dropped to the floor, kicking your legs into the stomach of the Hydra agent opposite you, sending him sprawling to the floor with a loud grunt, while you twisted at the last minute, landing on your front as you wrapped a tight grip around a second agent’s ankle, pulling it out from under him and rolling on top of him in one fluid motion. As you straddled his chest, you lifted the but of your gun high, bringing it down forcefully onto his head and sending him into unconsciousness.

“Exactly how many more of these fuckers should I be expecting Barnes!” you yelled out into your comm as you lifted yourself from the floor, briefly catching your breath while readying yourself for another attack. You raised your gun as you rounded the corner, turning down yet another long hallway of the Hydra facility that you and Bucky were supposed to be sweeping. The Hydra facility that was supposed to be abandoned. 

“You got the same intel as me doll,” You heard Bucky let out a grunt as he sent another Hydra agent flying across the corridor he was in. “How the hell am I supposed to know?” You were nearing another turn in the corridor now, red lights blaring above you, sirens pounding in your ear, and a deep cut along the back of your shoulder pulsing in pain, which was getting worse by the minute. You froze as you heard the sound of boots hitting the floor and echoing off the concrete around the next corner. Eying the corridor around you, you quickly realised there was nowhere to hide, so you steeled yourself with a breath before rounding the corner in one quick motion, gun raised and a lethal look in your eye. You were met by a gun pointed at your forehead. Thankfully, behind the gun was a pair of steel blue eyes you would recognise anywhere. Bucky quickly lowered his gun, as you did yours, while each of you scanned the other's body, without any words, checking that the other was okay. Bucky’s brow creased when he saw the droop in your right shoulder, the tension in your neck just above it and the sheen of sweat across your forehead. Your eyes immediately picked up the cut on his forehead, the way he was favouring his left leg, and the minor bruises and cuts that littered his body. Neither of you were happy, but you were satisfied that, at least for now, the other was okay. You nodded at Bucky, a small, quick movement that anyone else would have missed. He nodded back. It was a signal you’d developed after working in the field together for so many years. A reassurance, a promise between you that the other was okay. 

“I don’t know,” you carry on, breaking the tension and striding past Bucky down the corridor he had just cleared, “maybe you have some Hydra super sense or something.”

“Oh yeah, and that’s exactly why I let us walk into a full facility of tactical agents”, he levelled back at you, quickly overtaking you to lead the way down the hall. He always did this on missions. Wherever he could, when you two were teamed up together, he would put himself between the line of fire and you. Always. Without fail. It wasn’t because he thought you were weak; hell, he thought you were stronger than he was. But it brought him some peace that he would be between you and any danger, and who were you to take that from him? In this case, it didn’t matter anyway.

 As you two rounded the next corner, the last one, you both hoped, between you and an exit, you were faced with six more Hydra agents to deal with. Both of you sprang into action, Bucky raising his metal arm, blocking the rain of bullets fired at him, as he barreled forward into combat with the first agent. Behind him, you threw one of your knives into the chest of a second agent, running and flipping over the group, landing a sharp kick to the back of the head of one of the agents as you descended. Bucky was all about brute force when he fought, seemingly wanting to prove the point as he headbutted a soldier in front of him, but when you fight, it looked like a dance, a dance to which you were the choreographer and performer, perfectly executed. A cry of pain broke its way out of your lips as your next opponent caught you off-guard, landing a blow to your ribs before you pivoted from your new position on the floor to swipe out his legs from under him, hearing a sickening crack as you twisted his head sharply to the left. Behind you, Bucky’s metal fist connected with another soldier’s face with a sickening crack, before putting a bullet in the agent's chest. With two soldiers left, Bucky’s brashness and your elegance created the perfect balance in a tactical pair, swapping between partners almost as if it were fun. The final two agents were quickly dispatched, and you both turned towards the door at the end of the corridor, ready to leave this nightmarish facility behind, get extracted, and go home. “So, no evil spidey sense then” you quipped, ‘Good to know’. 

Bucky’s retort died on his lips at the sound of a gunshot behind you both. Before you had even registered what had happened, Bucky had grabbed your arm, moving his body between yourself and the line of fire from the gun, yelling a brash ‘shit’ as he did so, turning to place a final bullet into the soldier. But Bucky hadn’t moved in time. White hot pain shot through your leg, as you lost any ability to stand upright, the pain of the cut on your shoulder paling in comparison to the burning sensation now overpowering your body. You let out a sharp cry as you felt Bucky’s hand immediately move to your waist to support you before your legs had even had a second to wobble. He held you close to him, but although you looked up at his lips, the pain was blocking any of his words from reaching your ears. Instead, you focused on his eyes, letting their steel blue pull you back to reality with a few deep breaths.

‘I- I’m fine’ you ground out between clenched teeth, ‘I’m okay Buck’.  Bucky simply looked down at you, concern creasing his brow as his eyes flickered down to your thigh, blood now leaking out of the bullet hole and soaking the leg of your trousers. “I’m sorry Doll, we gotta keep moving, we need you get out of here.’ You looked at Bucky, giving him one sharp nod and gritting your teeth through the tears that were threatening to spill over. Without another word, Bucky slung one of your arms over his shoulder, taking some of your weight as his left arm encircled your waist, helping to keep you moving, as he all but dragged you through the door to the facility. 

As the door clattered open, the biting cold of the wind assaulted both of you, as something between snow and rain poured unrelentingly down from the heavens. ‘We’re,’ you steeled yourself as your voice wobbled, ‘we’re never getting extraction in this weather.’ Bucky was, despite his own injuries, taking almost all of your weight now, as he continued to half drag you towards the treeline. ‘I know a safe house’ his gruff voice called down to you over the wind, and so, with pain racking your body and with eyelids that seemed to be getting heavier by the second, the pair of you trudged onwards to the trees, rain battering your bodies, washing away dried and fresh blood as it fell. 

You continued your movements through the woods, thoroughly soaked to the bone, shaking and teeth chattering. Once you’d made it a mile away from the Hydra facility, Bucky slowly came to a stop, lowering you briefly to sit on the trunk of a fallen tree as he tore the bottom of his tactical shirt off, his eyes communicating the apology he couldn’t say as he tied it tightly above the gunshot wound on your leg. You couldn’t help the whimper of pain that left your lips as he tied the tournequet, quickly following it with an ‘I’m okay’ and for just a moment, you and Bucky rested, foreheads pressed to each other, feeling the other breathe in a second of comfort. ‘We’re gonna be okay’ he whispered to you, saying it more for himself than to comfort you. ‘I know Buck, I trust you.’ And with that Bucky helped you back to your feet and you continued your trek.

. After nearly an hour of battling blood loss, pain, and the weather, both you and Bucky were near ready to pass out when you reached the tiny cabin in the woods. It was basic to say the least. Bucky placed you down onto another tree stump, telling you under his breath, ‘I’m gonna sweep the place, then I’ll come back for you.’ He wouldn’t say it, but at some point you’d stopped shivering, and your face had turned so pale it was scaring him. The thought of you potentially ending up in more danger if someone had found the safehouse made him feel sick. So he barrelled on ahead, ready to do anything to protect you. With his gun raised, Bucky circled the outside of the structure before making his way inside, sweeping each room in complete darkness and with the stealth of the Winter Soldier. 

You didn’t know how long the sweep had taken him, but the next thing you registered was his flesh hand warm against your cheek. ‘Come on, doll. We gotta get you inside. We’ll warm you up and look at that leg, yeh?’ Bucky asked, his soft eyes looking down at you with concern. Before you could move, he had picked you up in his arms, walking you, at last, out of the rain and the wind. ‘Ok Doll, I’m gonna sit you in front of the fireplace and go get some logs. But you gotta stay awake for me while I do, ok? Talk to me hun, anything. I don’t care what, but I need you to stay awake.’ Bucky placed you down with so much care you could have been made of porcelain. All you wanted was to shut your eyes. The cold and the pain were starting to take their toll, but Bucky needed you to talk. So you were gonna talk. As Bucky slowly worked to remove your sodden tactical jacket off of you, you let your mind turn to happier memories, a distraction from the pain. ’I remember the night I realised I love you,’ you offered over your shoulder, seeing the concern in Bucky’s face mix with something softer as he moved around, turning on the light and bringing a few logs to the fireplace along with a blanket he wrapped gently around your shoulders. 

‘You took me to Coney Island. We were sat at the top of the Ferris wheel, and I thought everything was so perfect we would never come down.’ Bucky was now beside you, setting the logs in the fireplace and scrunching up some newspaper for kindling, his eyes meeting yours as you carried on. ‘You’d won me that bear, and the stars were out. It was the first time you told me about your ma, and Rebecca, and as I looked at you, at the happiness and sadness that mixed in your eyes, I knew I wanted to be with you forever.’ Next to you, Bucky had a small fire going. He turned to you, placing a gentle hand on your cheek, as he leaned in and his lips brushed against yours. A gentle kiss, fleeting and quick, as his low voice rumbled out, ‘I thought my heart was gonna explode out of my chest that night doll. I always knew it was you, and when you said you wanted it to be us forever, I couldn’t believe it.’ 

The tender moment ended as quickly as it had started. Bucky shifted his body so he was kneeling in front of you, the softness in his eyes replaced with something more serious: ‘I need to look at your thigh doll.’ You nodded back at him, not trusting your voice not to wobble with a response. ‘It’s not gonna be pleasant. I’ll try and be quick. Once it’s done, we can get some sleep, okay?’ You lifted your head to meet his, ‘I know Buck. I trust you. Let’s just get it done with.’ He nodded at you, qucikly pulling off the outer layer of his own dripping tactical suit, before standing and moving to the kitchen counter to retrieve the medkit that was stocked in each safehouse. 

It only contained the basics, but it would be enough to patch you up. Bucky just wished it had something to help you with the pain. His stomach flipped at the thought of what he was about to put you through, a hatred burning through him for Hydra more severe than anything he had ever felt for his own torture. Now they had hurt you. And for that, he would end them. But not right now. Right now, he needed to stay focused on keeping you alive. He lifted up the kit and brought it over to you, knowing that the alternative, the possibility of infection, or you bleeding out, would be much worse. ‘I’m gonna cut the leg off of your tac suit’ Bucky said, pulling out some scissors from the kit. You’d started shivering now, a reassuring sign to Bucky that you were warming up, as you joked ‘Jesus, sarge, at least take a girl to dinner first.’ A huff of a laugh left Bucky’s lips, and you felt a little better as he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, whispering back ‘The second we get out of here doll’. Getting shot wasn’t exactly pleasant, but seeing the frown on Bucky’s face, knowing he was blaming himself for your pain, was worse, and you’d do anything you could to alleviate it. Quickly, the leg of your trousers was gone, revealing to you both your blood-stained thigh and the bullet hole with no exit wound. A growl eminated from Bucky as his face filled with anger at seeing the injury up close. He wanted to revive the soldier who did this to you, just so he could kill him again. But again, he focused himself in the moment, squeezing your hand as he gently wiped off some of the excess blood.

When that was done, he picked up the sterile tweezers from the kit, looking to your eyes for permission to continue. ‘You’re gonna need to hold my leg down Buck,’ you spoke, and he grimaced, but placed his metal arm just above your knee, pinning your leg to the floor so that you couldn’t writhe around when the pain hit. You gave him the nod he was waiting for, and searing pain shot up your whole body. You couldn’t stop the scream of pain that tore its way out of your chest no matter how hard you tried, and your hand gripped onto Bucky’s metal arm, desperate to find somewhere to channel the pain you were feeling. The world around you was blurring, waves of pain rolling ceaselessly over you as your muscles tensed of their own accord. But Bucky was whispering ‘I’m sorry doll, god I’m sorry’ over and over again like it was a prayer, anchoring you to the room you were in. The sound of metal hitting metal soon told you that Bucky had retrieved the piece of metal that was causing you so much pain, but you barely registered it as your body fell limp against the floor, no longer able to hold itself up. You barely felt the sting of the needle entering you skin as Bucky stitched the wound up, reminding you ‘You did so good love, so good for me. Nearly done.’

It wasnt the ceasing of the pain that you recognised next, but instead a soft hand resting on your cheek, a thumb wiping away the stray tears that had fallen from your eyes. “Hey doll,’ Bucky whispered above you, as he moved himself into your eyeline, a gentle smile on his lips, mixing with the concern in his eyes. ‘Hey Bucky’ you replied, as you sat up, his metal arm supporting your back. ‘You good?’ He asked, eyes questioning but not demanding. There was no need to lie to Bucky, no pressure. Never any pressure. ‘I’m good,’ you replied, your words allowing his brow to soften slightly as you scanned his body once more. ‘Bring me the kit?’ You asked from your position on the floor in front of the fire. ‘Doll, you don’t need to-’ Bucky began his reply, but you cut him off, turning your question into a statement as you repeated ‘bring me the kit.’ With a slight huff, Bucky went to retrieve it before sitting down in front of you, knowing he would eventually loose any fight with you. You pulled out an alcohol wipe, resting you hand on his cheek. Bucky’s hand met it, holding your hand on his face, as he turned and pressed a kiss into your palm while you gently wiped the blood from his forehead. ‘You know Doll,’ Bucky gently laughed out, ‘I am actually a supersoldier. This’ll heal before we wake up in the morning, you don’t gotta glue it back together.’ 

You just shook your head, laughing softly too. ‘I know. But it makes me happy to take care of you Buck, you went too long without anyone. I want to, so let me?’ Bucky hummed his consent back at you while you placed butterfly strips across the cut, holding it closed. He looked at you with such a tenderness in his eyes while you worked. Your shivering had stopped now, and while you were clearly still in pain from the new hole in your leg, you being well enough to look after him meant you were okay, so he submitted to your ministrations. As far as you were concerned, it was the least Bucky deserved, to be shown through actions how much you loved him, how cherished he was. 

You worked in a comfortable silence, Bucky only moving once to add more wood to the crackling fire beside you both. ‘There’s just one more thing to do,’ you said. Bucky looked up at you just quickly enough for his lips to be captured by your own. You both melted into the kiss as his hand came up to cup the back of your head, his metal arm encircling your back, always supporting you, always holding you close. As you broke apart, Bucky whispered to your lips, ‘I love you so much, doll.’ You couldn’t keep the grin off of your face as you replied, ‘I love you too, Buck’.  He quickly scooped you up into his arms, moving you from the sitting room into the small bedroom of the cabin. He assessed your shoulder injury quickly after setting you down on the bed, deciding it wasn’t severe enough to need stitches, placing a few strips across it as he kissed your forehead, your own head resting against his chest as he worked, tiredness now taking over you. When he was done, he lifted your legs onto the bed, pulling you out of the remaining half of your trousers, leaving you in your underwear and top. Two gentle hands came to rest on your shoulders, as Bucky gently pushed you back in the bed, placing another kiss on your forehead as he pulled piles of blankets over you. ‘Rest, love. I’ll keep watch.’ 

But a gentle whine left your lips, as you grabbed onto Bucky’s wrist, refusing to let your loving super soldier leave your side, shaking your tired head and pouting at him. All the resolve in the super soldier crumbled in an instant, ‘You’ll be the death of me doll, you know that right?’ You could only nod your head with happiness and hum in agreement as you heard Bucky shuffle out of his clothes and carefully lower himself into bed next to you. Careful of your injured leg, Bucky moved closer to you, pulling you into his arms, as your rested your head on his chest, his arms encircling you. With the sound of the storm raging outside, and with a warmth in your heart, you let yourself finally fall into the deep sleep that had been pulling at you, safe in Bucky’s arms. 

[figtreesandmoonlight]

“I’m Glad You Called”

Bucky X Reader One Shot. 

TW: sexual harrassment, swearing, drink spiking

Synopsis: Things quickly go south during a blind date that Wanda had set you up on. After listening to Jake talk about himself for three hours, you leave the bar together, and it becomes clear that Jake has certain expectations for where the evening will go next. The world becomes blurry around you as you make it clear you won’t be sleeping with Jake, but when the ground shifts beneath your feet and Jake gets aggressive, you make a phonecall. Cue one angry super soldier coming to the rescue, confessions of feelings, and lots of fluff. 

You checked your appearance in the mirror one last time, appraising your appearance and shifting the tight black dress that clung to your body ever so slightly. It wasn’t that you were excited for your blind date, per se. During a girls night with one too many glasses of wine consumed you’d finally confessed to Wanda and Natasha that you were ready to give dating another shot after a catastrophic end to your former relationship (he’d cheated on you, and after finding out, you never heard from him again. You couldn’t say for sure, but it was pretty clear your friends had had something to do with it.) The next thing you knew, Wanda had sent a message into your groupchat telling you to ‘put on that sexy black dress and be ready at 8’ for a blind date with someone she knew. So, not so much excited, as a mix of nerves, trepedation and skepticism. But you’d said you wanted to get back out there, and that meant going on a date eventually. You tousled your hair, checked your lipstick one final time, before grabbing your leather jacket, slinging it over your shoulders as you grabbed and walking through the door to your bedroom in the compound. 

You walked along the corridors, heading to the kitchen for a drink to settle your nerves as you had half an hour before the mystery man was supposed to be meeting you, and you’d do anything to alleviate the nagging feeling in your gut telling you this was a bad idea. You walked in, trailing your hands across the marble counter and pausing in front of the fridge, taking a breath as cool air burst out at you, stilling some of the thoughts in your mind. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be going on a date. It was that whoever the guy picking you up was, it wasn’t the man you wanted it to be. But you shook your head, allowing the cold feel of the bottle of wine on your palm to draw you out of your head and back to reality. There was no point in thinking about that now. With a few glugs, you’d poured yourself a glass of wine, standing at the island counter of the compound's kitchen, lights dimmed, soft music playing as you continued to hype yourself up for the evening ahead. Or at least you tried to, until a voice pulled you out of your thoughts:

‘Wow Doll’, a low voice rumbled out. The wine glass that was making its way to your lips paused mid air as you turned to look at the source of the sound, already knowing exactly who would be there. As you suspected, there was James Buchanan Barnes, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, smug smile on his lips and head cocked to the side, staring straight at you. You felt like his steel blue eyes were burning a hole right into you, and ducked your head to hide the slight blush that rose to your cheeks. Running your free hand through your hair as you regained some composure, you smiled at your friend, some of the nerves settling in your stomach just from being in the same space as him. ‘Hey Buck,’ you replied, turning to face him and holding your hands out to your sides slightly to give him a better view, ‘what’d you think?’ He didn’t need to know that his response could very well decide for you if you were still going out or not. 

Bucky’s eyes slowly trailed down and back up your form, taking you in with a small smile, as he replied ’I think the guy you’re going out with doesn’t know how lucky he is’. You let out a small laugh at his words, picking up your wine glass to be able to have something between you, to distract you from him, to offer you something to hide behind. ‘Ever the charmer Barnes’, you reply. ‘You know me Doll’ he laughed back, walking past you in the direction of one of the stools on the other side of the counter to you, ‘a true 40’s gentleman could never walk past a dame looking as beautiful as you and not tell you’. And there it was, that slight defferal that always came with Bucky’s compliments. It was always the case with Bucky that compliments wouldn’t come from him, more the charming 40’s ladies man act that he liked to put on. He was one of your closest friends, and it wasn’t like he didn’t compliment you, didn’t look out for you. Hell, when your sleep was disturbed with graphic reminders of your past in the form of some less-than-pleasant nightmares, Bucky was always the first one at your door. You’d given him access after your first nightmare, and it wasn’t uncommon now that you’d be woken up from the horrors of your mind with surprisingly soft touches, concerned blue eyes and gentle reminders that ‘you’re okay, you’re safe, I’m here, they’re not going to take you again, I’ve got you’. He’d slip into bed next to you, hold you until you drifted back into sleep, or if it was one of those nights you knew you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, he’d walk with you to the TV room, and you’d watch reruns of Doctor Who until sunrise. But when he said anything that could be read as even remotely romantic, it was said through that ladies-man facade. So, Bucky was one of the people you were closest to in the compound, and that was exactly why you couldn’t tell him that your feelings for him had developed into romantic ones. 

Instead, you bantered back and forth a bit, Bucky sat opposite you, joking about spraypainting redwing pink to annoy Sam, and how he just ‘didn’t get’ the idea of a blind date, saying ‘back in my day, you just told someone you liked them and went out for a dance’. His comment felt like a million pins stabbing into your heart all at once, reminding you once again that the man in front of you, who had slowly helped heal and won over your broken heart, only saw you as a friend.  Still, Bucky had called you ‘beautiful’. That was enough of a boost that when FRIDAY announced that your date was here, you left the remainder of your wine in the glass on the counter, grabbed your purse, and called over your shoulder to Bucky that he needed to ‘remember to eat something’ as you left. What you didn’t see was how his eyes followed you all the way down the corridor until you were out of sight. You didn’t know that inside, he was kicking himself once again for not telling you how he felt about you. And most of all, you didn’t know how it tore him up inside to see you going out on a date with someone else. No, instead, you walked to the front door of the compound, to be met by your blind date.

The date itself had started off badly and only gotten worse as the night went on. You’d got into his car, which was piled high with rubbish from various fast food joints and discarded pieces of clothing. You could have sworn that you’d spotted another girl’s dress buried underneath another jumper. Still, you didn’t know what he had going on in his life, and a messy car was far from a deal breaker. No, that would come later. He pulled up to a run-down, beat-up bar, outside of which two older men, clearly drunk and still sipping on their beer bottles, were hanging around. The second you stepped out of Jake’s car, one wolf whistled at you, as the other called out, ‘Hey gorgeous, why don’t you ditch the kid and let us show you a good time?’. You’d expected Jake to say something. Not necessarily to jump into a fight to defend your honour, but a simple fuck of, a shake of his head, or a reassuring hand on your back as he led you inside. But no, instead, he simply barked out a laugh with the two men, and grimly claimed, ‘this one’s all mine’. 

You should have left then. You know you should have. But Wanda and Natasha had set you up with the guy, so surely he couldn’t be that bad? And you’d never hear the end of it if they found out you hadn’t even made it inside the bar on your first date. So, you gritted your teeth, forcing your lips into a pursed smile, and walked into the bar. It’d only got worse from there. In the hour and a half you sat opposite him, all Jake had showed you was that he was only capable of talking about himself. About his job. About how much money he made. About his ex-girlfriend. About how excellent he was in bed. You’d sat there, becoming more and more bored, and then more and more uncomfortable as the night went on, questioning if you could get away with going to the ‘bathroom’ and sneaking out a back door. Sadly, the bar he’d brought you to didn’t exactly look like it would have a back door you wanted to go through. You’d wondered if you could play sick, or text Wanda and Nat SOS to come and save you, but decided that, while he was clearly an egotistical dickhead, he wasn’t ‘dangerous’. It was just a bad date, and, mercifully, it’d be over soon. He’d picked up the check, and after two hours of hearing all about Jake, you were grateful to be heading back to his car to be dropped off home, and never to see him again. After your second glass of wine, you’d started to feel a little off, too, so getting back into bed and forgetting the whole night couldn’t come quickly enough. 

You and Jake walked back through the door of the bar when his arm snaked itself uncomfortably tightly around your waist, hand pressing into your left hip with enough pressure that you thought it would leave a bruise. You tried to laugh it off, placing your hand over his and very clearly trying to lift his grasp on you. His arm didn’t move. If anything, it got tighter as he yanked you into his side, before twisting his body in front of you and pinning you against the brick wall at the side of the restaurant. Your head spun as it collided with the bricks now behind it, making you feel far dizzier than it should have, as you realised something was seriously wrong. His arms met the wall on either side of you, pinning you in, unable to escape, his breath stinking of rum as he said, ‘Come on now, baby. Don’t try and fight. You know you want me.’ Your legs felt weak beneath you, and the world continued to spin as you tried to force the words ‘get off of me’ out of your mouth, but it was so dry, and your tongue felt like lead. All that came out was a jumble of sounds. Somewhere in the back of your mind, your brain was screaming at you that you’d been spiked, but everything was too loud, spinning too much, and Jake’s body was pressed too tightly against you as his hands trailed up your sides for you to even acknowledge it. 

Jake’s hands made their way up your body, resting on your breasts and kneading them with too much force as he began forcing kisses onto your neck, your shoulders, your lips. Tears were streaming down your face and you kept pleading out ‘no, no, no’, as Jake continued his assult on your body. It was when his hands trailed down between your thighs that something in you snapped. You didn’t even register your body moving as your knee connected with his groin as he cried out. What you did register, though, was the burning heat across your face that sent you spilling to the ground as his fist connected with your cheek, splitting the skin and leaving a nasty cut behind. Somewhere your brain registered Jake, spitting down at you and calling you a ’fucking slut’, as he aimed a brutal kick into your stomach, knocking all of the air out of your lungs and making you see stars while you wheezed out ‘help’ to anyone that might hear you. More kicks followed, as your mind went blank, but the next thing you registered was the sound of footsteps walking away from you and a figure receding in the distance. 

Your mind was bleeding in and out of consciousness as the pain from Jake’s assault left your body reeling. It took all the focus your drugged brain could cling onto to reach your grazed arm out to where your bag had fallen during the assault and pull it close to you. Your hands, feeling heavy and uncoordinated, dug helplessly into the bag before connecting with the metal of your phone. Pulling it out as you heaved in breaths muddled with tears, blood and shame, you opened your contacts, fingers shaking as you pressed on the name of the one person you needed right now. Your head was still spinning, feeling conceringly warm and wet against the cold, damp concrete below it, and your vision kept blurring as you tried to focus your eyes on the screen, pain rippling through your chest with each breath. You didn’t hear the sound of the phone ringing, but the second you heard Bucky’s voice, something in you broke. 

“Doll?” His voice came, light but tinged with what could have been concern or confusion as he answered, “Aren’t you meant to be out with your mystery man?”  A noise ripped its way out of your throat somewhere between a cry of pain and a plea for help, sounding animal, and wounded and helpless. Bucky’s voice immediately softened on the other side of the line, urgency lacing his tone. “Doll, are you okay? Can you hear me?’. Had you been more with it, you would have heard the fear cutting into Bucky’s voice, the sound of him running around grabbing a jacket and his keys. As it was, it took all of the effort you had left in your weakening body to whisper out a broken ‘Buck, he-help.’

‘Ok, ok Doll, I’m comin’. I’m tracking your phone, but you gotta stay awake for me sweetheart, come on now, stay with me!’ 

But you were in too much pain. Various moans of pain were mixing with the words you were trying to say to Bucky. Your head, which once had been spinning, was now pounding as you vaguely felt blood trickling into your hair from where you’d been forced against the brick wall, and each breath shot daggers into your lungs. Bucky’s desperate pleas continued to pour out of your phone, but at this point, it’d fallen out of your hand, and you’re too weak to pick it up again. As the darkness from the sky above began to bleed into the edges of your vision and unconsciousness tried to claim you, a sense of calm began to wash over you, knowing that Bucky was coming to save you. 

‘Oh god, doll, what did he do to you’

Gentle hands were on you, lifting your head up off of the cold ground and cradling it in a lap. You struggled against the touch, remembering enough of what had happened for fear to strike through you, thinking Jake had come back to finish what he started. You tried to get your eyes to open, you limbs to move, but the gentle hands that held your head moved to your arms as a voice, desperate and low spoke above you: ‘you’re okay, you’re okay Doll, it’s me, it’s Bucky, I’ve got you’. He didn’t need to say who it was, you would’ve recognised the warmth in his raspy voice anywhere. But he sounded sad, and you never wanted Bucky to be sad. So you forced your eyes to open, blinking up at him as you tried to get them to focus. You’d never seen such an intense combination of sadness, worry and rage painting his face as it came into focus. ‘Hey, hey sweetheart, there’re those pretty eyes’, Bucky murmured above you, some relief washing his features at seeing you awake. ‘Do you think you can sit up?’ He asked, brushing some blood-tainted hair out of your face. You nod slowly back at Bucky, not trusting yourself to speak yet. ‘Ok doll, ok that’s good. I’m gonna put one of my hands on your back and help you sit up okay? On three. One, two, three.’ 

Your world turned white as hot pain shot through your ribs, and your head spun violently. You let out a string of curses and an excruciating cry of pain, doubling over yourself and placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, gripping hard, trying to ground yourself against the pain attacking you. ‘OK, you’re okay, just breathe, breathe through it with me’. Bucky started exaggerating his breathing through his shoulders, the same as he would do when you’d had a nightmare to help you match your breathing pace to his. When the wave of pain finally passed, you settled on your knees and looked up to the steel blue eyes looking down on you with so much worry. Before you even realise it, a train of words come out of your lips, ‘Bucky, he, Jake, he - something in my drink… he tried to, to - I fought back I swear I did, I tried, and then he, he’

‘Woah woah Doll, it’s okay, you don’t gotta explain everything right now’, Bucky said, pulling off his jacket, noticing you shiver, although whether it was from the rain, the drug that was working its way through your system, or the pain, he didn’t know. In his mind, he was raging. His heart had all but broken in two when he heard you cry out for him over the phone, and now his mind was railing against the asshole who hurt you. Bucky would end him. But that wasn’t his focus right now. Now, Bucky was channelling all of his focus on helping you. After quickly understanding some of the trauma of the night, Bucky checked ‘Doll, can I touch you?’ Before he moved again. You nod back, your heart racing in your chest, desperate for someone to just hold you and tell you it was all going to be okay. Quickly, Bucky’s jacket was slung across your shoulders, enveloping you in his warmth, smelling of burnt wood and vanilla, and Bucky had moved himself to be crouched in front of you. 

“I’m gonna pick you up, okay, Doll? Gonna get you back to the car and home to the compound, okay?” All you can do is nod, as tears slip down your face. Bucky’s thumb is there to collect the tears that fell, whispering to you ‘it’s okay, Doll, it’s not your fault, none of this is. You did so good calling me, so good.’ He pulls you into his arms as if you weigh nothing, but you can’t help but grimace at the movement, your head still dizzy and your ribs burning. ‘I know, I’m sorry, Doll. We just gotta get you back to the car, then I can take care of you.’ You whisper back, ‘K’ Buck’, feeling the safest you had been for weeks, held in his arms, your head resting on his chest as he moved gently across the car park. You didn’t catch the way Bucky’s pain twisted in anger as he looked down at the small puddle of red rainwater left behind where you had been lying. He had thought his heart was going to stop when he saw you lying there. It took him a second to be able to move, before sprinting to your side, trying to assess the damage and calling in every favour with every god on the earth for you to just be okay. He needed you to be okay. Then he could end whoever had done this to you.

Now, he nestled you in the passenger seat of his car, placing you down like you were made of porcelain, as he pulled off his hoodie, bundling up his jacket to use as a pillow, as he pulled the warmer, more comforting material of his hoodie as gently as he could over you. Something about the safety of being with Bucky turned off the adrenaline that had been running through your system, and as he moved round to the driver's side of the car, you shifted your head to look at him. Your voice, quiet and broken whispered out to him ‘I’m sorry Bucky’. Bucky simply shook his head, placing a hand gently on your cheek and saying back, ‘you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for Doll. Try to get some sleep, I’ll wake you up when we’re back at the compound’. And once again, you let unconsciousness claim you. 

‘Hey Doll, can you open those pretty eyes for me?’ A soft touch on your shoulder brought you back to reality, feeling more coherent now as you opened your eyes, than before. Whatever that asshole had put into your drink was starting to wear off. That didn’t help the constant pain hammering at the base of your skull as you opened your eyes, this time having to use less effort to bring the world into focus. 

‘Buck?’ 

‘Yeh sweetheart, I’m here. We’re back at the compound. Gonna get you indoors so we can have a proper look at you’. You hummed in agreement, lifting your head as Bucky reached to collect his jacket. You shuffled to the edge of the seat and, with no warning, pushed yourself to your feet. Or at least you tried to. Almost immediately, your knees buckled as you let out a sharp hiss of pain, hand immediately going to cover your ribs as you folded in on yourself. But you never felt your body hit the floor. Instead, gentle arms hooked under your knees and across your back as once more you’re scooped into Bucky’s arms. 

“Yeh Doll, don’t think with that nasty head injury I’m gonna be letting you walk anywhere anytime soon.’ Bucky huffed out, smiling softly down at you, looking at you like you were his whole world. 

‘I -‘

‘Don’t even try doll, we both know you’re too stubborn for your own good. Just let someone else take care of you for once.’ You look down at your hands, softly nodding your head. ‘We gotta get you cleaned up doll, are you okay if I bring you into my room? My kit’s in the bathroom’  You could only nod again, your brain struggling to keep up with what was happening, Bucky’s softness and questioning voice such a sharp contrast to the man who earlier that evening had tried to take whatever he wanted without consent. 

‘Okay doll, I’m just gonna sit you down on the bed here.’ You’d been into Bucky’s room plenty of times before, whether that be to watch a film, to comfort him after a nightmare or just to chat, but a sense of shyness crept over you as he placed you down on the bed. Without a word, Bucky started gathering his medical supplies from around the room and knelt down in front of you, worry still clouding his features as he looked up at you. ‘This isn’t gonna feel the nicest doll, but I’ll try and be gentle.’ Slowly, Bucky started to clean up the worst of your injuries. You’d had plenty before, of course, but there was such a difference between an injury you got in battle and ones you’d got when you were supposed to be out on a romantic evening. Bucky couldn’t stop himself from letting out whispers of apologies each time you grimaced as the disinfectant stung against your cuts. He gently made his way behind you, hands lingering on your shoulders, letting you know exactly where he was and what he was doing the whole time, making sure you felt safe as he was checking the back of your head. ‘Ok Doll, you’re gonna have a concussion, but I don’t think you’re gonna need stitches. Is there anywhere else I need to look at?’ You whispered out ‘my ribs’, and as you pulled down the top of your dress, you heard a sharp inhale from Bucky.

 ‘I’m going to kill him’. You looked down, something between shame and embarrassment clouding your features. Bucky’s fingers quickly found your tilted chin, forcing you to look at him. ‘This is not your fault doll. I am so sorry. We should have been there. I should have been there. But this is not on you. None of this is on you.’ Bucky’s eyes locked onto yours with intense pain, searching for permission before he touched you again, letting you feel completely in control of the situation. You nodded your head slightly, as a cool vibranium hand came to hold your back up while his flesh one pressed gently against your ribs, already a mix of purples and blues and dark bruising encased your side. 

‘I think you’ve got some fractured ribs,’ Bucky says, running a hand through his hair. ‘I’m gonna get you some of my sweats to change into so we can wrap your ribs. Is that okay?’  Once again, all you could do was nod. The next ten minutes pass in relative silence as Bucky helps you into one of his Henleys and a pair of his joggers, before wrapping your ribs with as much care as he possibly could. Once he was happy that your physical injuries had been addressed, he sat himself down on the ground next to the bed, looking up at you. Not pushing, but there, as a presence, as a reassurance. Promising you he was there. Promising you were safe now. That’s when you drew in a shaky deep breath, lowering yourself with Bucky’s help to sit next to him on the floor, resting your head on his shoulder, seeking any kind of physical comfort you could get. You told him what had happened.

‘I um, god I didn’t even want to go on this date in the first place. It became clear he was a prick pretty quickly. There were these guys outside the bar who made some comments on our way in, and he just laughed with them. Said I was ‘his’ like he owned me or something’. The shoulder your head was resting against tensed briefly, before relaxing again, and you heard Bucky take in a deep, shaky breath, barely containing his rage. ‘I went to the bathroom and when I came back, he’d bought me a new drink. I didn’t question it. I was a fucking idiot. He must have slipped something in it. I hadn’t even clocked it until we left the bar. He was on me in seconds. I couldn’t -‘ You broke off, looking up at Bucky with red eyes, who only smiled at you through the tears that were starting to form in his eyes, ‘take your time doll, there’s no rush.’ 

You took a deep breath before continuing. ‘I couldn’t get him off of me. He slammed my head against the wall and started pushing himself against me. Kept kissing me, groping me and not letting go.’ You could hear the mechanics of his metal arms whirring softly as he clenched his fist tight enough to leave a dent behind. Behind his eyes, a storm was raging, but you’d started now, and you needed to get it all out. ‘It was when his hand reached down between my legs that something in me snapped. I, uh, I kneed him in the balls to try and get him away, but uh. I guess he didn’t like that. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground, my cheek split, being kicked in the chest. I don’t know how long it went on for I, um, I passed out, I guess. All I knew was that I needed help, that I needed you. I, I’m sorry I called you, but I knew you’d come for me, Bucky. I knew you’d save me.’ Tears were streaming down your face now, freely and with no remorse. Slowly, you felt the figure you were leaning on shift so that Bucky was kneeling in front of you. ‘I will always come for you, Doll. Always. The end of the world wouldn’t keep me away’. Slowly, he leant forwards, placing the gentlest kiss imaginable to your forehead. 

As he leant back, he let out a deep breath. ‘Now might not be the best time, I know Doll. But you gotta know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I like you, sweetheart. Like, a lot. So much I think my chest is gonna burst when you walk into the room. You don’t gotta say anything, you don’t gotta like me back, I’m not asking you for that. But I promise you now, I will always be here for you. I will turn this world upside down for you. God, I am so, so glad you called me. I will always come for you Doll. Always.’ 

You couldn’t help the tear that slipped down your cheek. But you paid it no mind. Instead, you leaned into Bucky, softly pressing your lips to his. Bucky didn’t move for a second, didn’t kiss you back, didn’t pull away, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening. But slowly, he started to kiss you back, a kiss full of love and promise and softens. Slowly, you sat back against the bed, looking up to Bucky, before whispering out ‘Buck, I have liked you since the first day I met you. I didn’t think you felt the same way, it’s the whole reason I stayed away.’

‘God's doll, I’ve been an idiot. But I’m gonna make it up to you I promise. If you’ll let me?’ The tear tracks on your face that had been caused earlier that evening by so much sadness were suddenly replaced with tears of happiness, as you nodded back at Bucky. ‘I’d like that, a lot.’ Bucky simply leant in to kiss you again, gently, another promise of love and comfort as his hands cradled your face, thumbs wiping away your tears, before pulling away to pick you up and gently place you in his bed, careful the whole time of your ribs and head. You felt the bed dip next to you. Bucky shifted towards you, gently resting his arm over your waist as if in a question of ‘is this okay’. It was when your hand rested over the top of his, pulling his closer to you that he was enveloping you in warmth and love as he held you. ‘No more blind dates, doll. Once you’re all healed up, I’m taking you on a proper date, one you deserve, and I’m gonna show you how you mean the world to me’ Bucky whispered into your hair, placing a kiss over the butterfly stitches on your cheek as you drifted off to sleep next to Bucky. You’d shared a bed so many times before, after nightmares, or the other simply falling asleep. But this time, your heart was full and warm, and you drifted off to sleep safe, protected and next to the man you loved. 

Authors Note: Hi Friends, welcome to my first oneshot on Tumblr! It's been over three years since I've last written any fan fiction, but after reading a bunch of @marvelstoriesepic 's work, I've been inspired to get writing again, so welcome to the chaos 🤍