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She will not worry. She will be just fine. She will brave this new season one day at a time. - Morgan Harper Nichols

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It’s a long way, back to reality.

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© Photo Credit

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via @WeHeartIt

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Little Qualicum Falls, Vancouver Island

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Daily Mantra: “I am light, love, and happiness. I am enough.”

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Remember to breathe every once in awhile

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“Life isn’t near as bad as we think it is. We need to remember that life is always good. There are always positives and it depends on our perspective.”

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does anyone else just feel the strong desire to change, to travel, to meet new people, to just start over somewhere you’ve never been before

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“Remember to not only pay attention to how you are when you’re hurting, but how you hurt others.”

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Minnesota, thank you for allowing me to visit. We had some good times, but not all the time. Times were spent with family I missed dearly, moments with long lost best friends, a job I could never say thank you enough for. Game nights and laughter, family hugs and stories, nights spent stumbling and experienced some of the best memories I won't forget. You offered a place for me to hide from my past and my own demons. As the same with everything in life, good times can not last. Cold and lonely nights found me, where darkness embraced me. When running from pain, shadows will always find you. There came times where I just wanted pack everything and leave. Some evenings were spent cursing at myself for coming here. Hours where my face remained streaked from the pain of being alone. There were many bad moments, but I'm thankful for it all. I'm capable of being alone. Anxiety is a dirty liar that whispered you wouldn't be alright. You can meet strangers and makes friends. You found out how strong you are and am capable of taking care of yourself. My time is Minnesota has taught me to go after whatever I desire. Take pole class, enroll in singing lessons, design those fashions you truly want. Nothing is stopping you from these passions, except you. I've stopped refraining myself, I know how many opportunities life has to offer. Minnesota taught me just how special family and time is. Being up here I've learned some people won't understand who I am, but that's alright. Emotions are meant to be felt and that is freeing to know. Minnesota taught me how to let go. Let go of the past. Let go of the pain. Just let fucking go. Breath in the present and breathe out all doubt. At the end of the day, you will be the only one to hold yourself when you're in your empty bed. Love yourself and listen to your dreams and desires. A lesson I needed to learn desperately. Sure, it's hard to leave. But like Minnesota, everything will give me what it's meant to. Next adventure is Australia, and am I excited to learn those lessons

Thank you Minnesota

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Iced white mocha with hazelnut no whip cream. Two years later I'm still drinking the same coffee you introduced me to. Everyday I order my concoction you float through my mind, but you never stay long. I don't regret letting you mark my body, because after all they are meant for memories. Meant to be reminders. They remind me of my struggles, my advice to myself, the good times we've had, and how I was cruel to you. Regret is pointless. I do not regret the past. Instead I am apologetic that I treated you so poorly because you didn't deserve it. You were one of the few who believed in me, no matter how bleak my situation seemed. Pressure forms diamonds is what you told me nearly every day. I'm not sure what happened with me or why it happened. You cross my mind more than him now, you know how big of a deal that is. I'm not sure if that's a positive thing or not. You were my best friend that I could talk to about anything. He was just a fantasy. Reality and fantasy. That must be why I loved having you around, yet couldn't keep you around. Reality is something I tend to avoid, fantasy has always been better anyways. I'm the dreamer. We don't talk anymore. But you've found a girl who seems to make you happy. Somebody who is proud of being with you. I hope you know I was always proud of you, you're much stronger than I'll ever be. You have a big heart, although you can sometimes be an ass. Your career seems to be only getting better, I'm glad you decided to take that risk. It all worked out as I knew it always would. You're just a memory now. At times it feels as if I imagined the whole thing, but surely not. You've marked me, but in all the right ways. I'm sorry... I'm sorry I clung to you and marked your fragile heart. I should've let you go as soon as I realized, instead I gripped tighter. Suffocating both of us and our relationship. Our friendship could've been saved, but instead I clung to the only security I had. Lesson learned I suppose. A simple coffee order means so much more to me than it appears.

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Their approval isn’t needed as much as you yearn for it. No longer do their opinions serve purpose in your life. Be proud of yourself sweetheart. You’ve spit in the face of everyone who doubted your determination, of every soul who laughed at the dreams swirling in your whimsical mind. When the sun settles down and darkness caresses you, it’s only your thoughts you’re left clutching against your beating chest. Allow your thoughts to be gentle, to be kind, to lift you higher everyday. Be proud of yourself sweetheart, because in the end it’s only ourselves who care.

Be proud of yourself sweetheart