hardbulimiarecovery

[hardbulimiarecovery]

I'm back to my normal weight 😃. I hope he doesn't vomit this week, keep your fingers crossed. Unfortunately, I've been vomiting a bit lately 😢. I hope it will get better ☺️.

[hardbulimiarecovery]

I feel terribly bad fooling everyone😞 don't vomit. But I'm so ashamed that I vomit 🤮. Vomiting is so disgusting and I feel ashamed that I can't cope despite the huge support. The longer you hide vomiting, the harder it is to admit it🤥. I don't feel like admitting it, but I decided to stop lying and the next time I vomit, I'll tell everyone 💪.

[hardbulimiarecovery]

My teeth usually hurt when I eat meals because they are washed away from the enamel. When I stop vomiting, I will ask the dentist to fill the bumps made by vomiting, because it hurts when I eat now, there is no point because if I vomit, the filling will disappear soon anyway. I'll tell the dentist that it's because of the sweet carbonated drinks and that I've stopped taking them. Now my teeth are yellow and when I put on my old braces, this metal wire used to run halfway through my teeth and now it doesn't even reach them. Fortunately, I don't have any holes because I brush my teeth thoroughly, floss and chew sugar-free gum.

[hardbulimiarecovery]

This week I vomited twice and I feel bad about it. Additionally, for about a week or two I have had a strange twinge in my chest on the left side in the evenings. I'm afraid it's something to do with my heart, I need to stop vomiting and eat balanced meals, supplement magnesium, potassium and calcium, and take electrolytes. If that doesn't help, I need to see a doctor. Bulimia is shit, don't vomit, otherwise it won't be interesting ☠️.

[hardbulimiarecovery]

That day I feel weak, I vomited recently, I lost almost 1 kg and now I'm underweight, I feel weak, I want to get back to normal BMI, now it's difficult for me to eat because my stomach hurts a lot after every meal 😢

[hardbulimiarecovery]

I will try to write at least once a week how I am doing in my fight against the disease, now I would like to write about obsessive thinking about food. Here's my story related to this topic, until I was 11 years old I didn't think obsessively about food, the problem started when I started compulsively overeating at the age of 11, then I gained weight and thought a lot about food and wanted to eat my sadness, then I didn't know anything about eating disorders, I didn't even know that such a thing even exists, then after a few months it turned into restrictive anorexia, then I literally only thought about the next meal, I watched a lot of videos presenting sweets and fast food, after less than half a year, extreme hunger came, then all I could think about was how terrible I was. I'm hungry and I want to eat and that no matter how much I eat, I'm still hungry and of course I'm talking about food. After about 2 months, the weight returned to the weight from the time of BED, even though the weight returned, my mental state was as bad as in the worst moment of the disease, and maybe even in the worse moment, one time I overeat so much that I vomited and that's how my bulimia started until now, so as not to to think about hunger, I had to do something and then the hunger disappeared, the same thoughts, if I did nothing, all I could think about was hunger and food, then after about 2 years I went to a center and there I didn't think about food the same for the next 4.5 months then I started having a relapse which is still happening with longer and sometimes shorter breaks. Now I don't think so much about eating, only when it's time for meals and I'm hungry, sometimes I'm so hungry that I can't cope and I eat them earlier than I should, I watch them. sometimes on YT there are recipes that I want to cook and some product reviews, possibly some challenges and channels of dietitians, especially those who work with people with eating disorders because they have a lot of knowledge on this subject. I don't look at people's mouths while they're eating, I don't need to, when I had an anorexic episode I did that, it's weird.

[hardbulimiarecovery]

What i eat in a day ( bulimia recovery)

[hardbulimiarecovery]

What i eat in a day ( bulimia recovery)

[hardbulimiarecovery]

What i eat in a day ( bulimia recovery )

[hardbulimiarecovery]

What i eat in a day ( bulimia recovery)

[hardbulimiarecovery]

What i eat in a day (bulimia recovery)

[hardbulimiarecovery]

[hardbulimiarecovery]

I've been having a hard time lately. In my last post I wrote that I wanted to spend my holidays as best as possible without vomiting, but I failed and I am very sad about it. At one point it was so bad that I decided to go to the center I was at last year, a lot has changed there, they changed their headquarters and canceled many classes, e.g. social skills training, maidfullnes (I hope I spell this name correctly), coaching, pilates, film therapy, and there is no special room for strange therapy, so conducting it is very uncomfortable. But the worst thing is that the psycho-dietitian has changed. The previous psycho-dietitian was a lecturer at the university and had a lot of experience, now she is a new one, fresh out of college, the old psycho-dietitian taught us more about the relationship with the body and food, this one simply wanted each of us to gain as much weight as possible in the shortest time, regardless of weight. . At the old psychodietician's I ate about 2500-2900 kcal for 5 weeks because my body was very damaged and needed energy to rebuild and I felt good on these kcal, I had no pain except for the first two days when I had diarrhea. Now I had to eat 3,500 - 3,900 kcal a day even though I arrived last year with a lower BMI. This time, however, my stomach wasn't hurting terribly and sometimes I had trouble breathing after meals. There was also a girl with anorexia who had never vomited, but now she was getting so much food that her stomach couldn't stand it and she was vomiting. After returning home, it was a little better for a week, but then it returned to its previous state, and last year, after leaving the center, I did not vomit once for 4 months, and I arrived in such a terrible condition that I vomited at least 6 times a day, every day. And this holiday I arrived in such a condition that I was vomiting about 2-3 times a week. The advantage is that I met a lot of new cool people and I went from being underweight with a BMI of 17.00 to 18.9. I feel like I wouldn't be able to cope at home, although it's not my dream 18.5, but it's still great.