harrlowe-blog

[harrlowe-blog]

Save your relationship!

Give affirmation by the pounds! Today I came across a couple in trouble. That happens so many times, because it is such as sign of the time. Marriages or relationships that last are few and far between, sadly... Of course there are a great number of reasons and causes for this development. I believe most people would be ready with their opinions and theories about topics like these.

Something that has been standing standing out like a sore, pounding toe is the steady and speedy rate of rotting that occurs when people don't look after each other anymore. Sounds simple and maybe not as significant, but let me role this out please. Where do the blocks that kept our lighthouses up fall apart? If we built it using certain blocks, why do they break apart later? Cement? Blocks? Maybe it would be better to use wooden house, because what we really need is a metaphor containing something that needs constant maintenance. Maintenance. Maintenance that should be a choice, because so many things through the years directly display the attention to maintenance they had, or had a lack of. In most cases there lies a "curse" of sorts. The curse does not come with an act of voodoo, or a boiling pot with parrot feet, nose hair of a horse and nostrils of a blind goose. It creeps in slowly and almost with you consent to some extent. The 5 Love Languages range brought some useful enlightenment that anybody can learn a thing or two from. If you don't want to believe ir or get onto that train, just take note of the most basic principle it reveals.

People love differently. People feel love differently and give love differently. One person often times feel love and give love in different ways. Complicated? Yup! But you can make it easier or more difficult. If I could have my way I would play match maker. I would arrange world wide get togethers, give people who experience love the same way another gives it by colour, sticker, hats or anything that could start up a pleasant, meaningful conversation and help them toward relationships that hae good odds. Some humans chose wisely and might be fortunate enough to have this gift in a spouse. For the rest it might take some focus and a little application. What would it take of you to do one thing that correlates with your partners way of feeling love? Would it be difficult for you to do one thing every day(or second or third day)? What do you think the pay off might be? Would it make it worth the tiny bit of effort if it could save a marriage and probably prevent more than one failed relationship (or marriage). I am not even mentioning adding kids to the equation. The couple I saw today looked like this: The husband was clealrly crying out for attention. He was making a string of jokes with everyone around him at a children's sport event. Unfortunately what he might not be aware of is that this consecutive comedic performance drove, and usually drives the wife away like a strong under current.

For her his attempt has the opposite effect he is hoping for. What makes it even more tricky is that people change over time. Mrs. Doubtfire(the movie) always comes to mind. The husband says to the wife that the crazy things he did when they just met, made her fall in love with him,but now it drives her crazy. Here we can easily fall into quicksandish pits by firing up fights. Fights that can last a lifetime. Does this sound like a can worth opening? No. The answer is NO! We need to let go of things that cannot deliver anything, anything good and focus on those that could realistically save and serve a union of two people. Yes, take one or two opportunities to let out you feelings and fears, but voice it clearly that you want to get it out, leave it out and carry on with what the partner need to feel loved as best as possible. If you don't want to serve your relationship, be clear with yourself and know that you are on shaky grounds. Please don't play the victim when you now know what you're doing, or NOT doing. This is a classic case of cause and effect. What you put in determines what you will probably get out. Be honest about what you can expect. Back to the couple. The man at the sporting event knows that his wife is having doubts. He can feel it. Now he tries to prove himself a hoot to have around, but this is not what it does for her.

The obvious answer I saw, the desperate need I saw in him was approval and affirmation. He needs to know that he is good enough, that he is enough and that she still wants him. He will relax and drop the performance, which will keep her closer around to his side, literally, mentally and emotionally. We need to do what is needed to embrace our relationship. We need to do what is effective. We need to give ourselves the best odds for our relationships, for our spouses or partners. If someone needs to hear he is needed, tell him everyday and try to do it in different ways. If you are the more willing one, speak up about it and do it. If someone needs affection, give affection because it will serve you as well. It is much easier to change an action than to change your head, heart and health. Everything starts with an act. The rest, the effect follows. If someone needs acts of service, do one thing every day or every second day. If you think its hard to do, don't! It is not! The reward outweighs the effort tenfold. Please try it. If one marriage could be saved, save it. Save your relationship!

Read the full article

[harrlowe-blog]

Online business in a small nutshell...

The online world and its businesses are certainly something obscure for most folks, especially those 40 or 50 plus that are not close to anything IT. I have personally been on this mission of discovery and comprehension for a good 6 or 7 years. Of course many, many things have happened in these years when it comes to everything online.

Ten years ago nobody would have believed that someone who makes videos of themselves playing video games and saying the most random, silly and stupid things could make $ 10 million a year from sharing these videos online. As a matter of fact, there are dozens of figures doing exactly that on youtube and making those figures from their online channels. Still to this day most people would believe it to be possible, but the proof is everywhere to be found on google. How is it possible? In other cases people have basically taken their personal diaries and journals to the world wide web in the form of blogs. Some have their own websites that are done in the style of a blog and other have their blogs on popular blogging platforms shared by thousands of other around  the world.

These bloggers are also making figures difficult to comprehend, some of them, not all, but what is great about the online business world is that you have many options and avenues that could easily lead to very substantial incomes. How are they doing it? Many different ways are available to monetize these channels, blogs or websites. It should be beneficial to see these things shops or maybe shop fronts rather. Many different products are available and many different products can be presented and sold to people who enter your shops. Some shops have their own products made in the back, others sell outside vendors' products, others sell products imported from other countries, maybe they even put their own labels and stickers on these products. Some shops have advertising spaces and spots that others pay to use for certain periods of time.

Some might even make deals with others where they share the profits. If you have enough space to rent out for other things such as teachings, classes, workshops, seminars or a place for like minded people to come together. Exactly the same is the case with various online businesses. A website is just that. See it as a location. As with a shop you either need to pull people toward  your shop or you need to be in a spot with lots of traffic. Also, the specific thing or things you focus on determines the types of traffic you get. Some shops sell high price items and might make lots of profit per sale, but don't have high numbers of sales. Others might sell smaller, less expensive items, but make their profits from a great number of sales. Whether a physical shop at the end of some busy street or an online site, both work on this principle. In both cases value, quality, service and relationship are paramount to the success of your endeavor. With online ventures you might even have much more access to your customers' personal details and profiles through platforms like Facebook and other social media sites. The point I am making is that the basic model is very, very similar. To go back to the videos of silly people making game play videos, it works on the same bases as the TV networks you have probably been watching from childhood where you were probably annoyed with commercials and advertisers once or twice in your life. Youtube has the whole crux of it in its name. Tube about you, or anything you want to put on your very own channel. Of course there are enough rules, regulations and policies to keep the bad stuff away, but pretty much anything goes. Broadcasting companies make most of their money thorough advertisers and products they endorse. Same thing happens on Youtube. The moment you reach a certain amount of views on your videos you qualify for advertisements to be shown at the offset of your videos and through out. Some are just as untimely and irritating as on normal TV, but without them we might not have our favorite shows at the other end of a remote. Commercials and banners spear on the videos and the creators get paid. As well as that, other adverts  and links are added on top of the screen or in the description below the video. If a viewer clicks on the link or makes a purchase of various sorts, the channel owner earns a commission. When having a blog, these adverts, banners and links are just sowed in between the different paragraphs of an article with content about a specific topic. Creating post with content relating to the products promoted is obviously the best way to go. With this post my aim is to bring a bit of clarity to anyone in the dark about something that is deeply embedded in our future. We live in the information age and it is better to have some understanding than be the old guy having a crack at these kids and their unruly ways. Online businesses is a great and positive way of the tomorrow. I find it to have so many positives. We find countless negative cycles in life, the positive ones should be fed, because what ever you feed(give time and attention to) will grow.

Lets say you have a Youtube channel and a blog and while you are creating awesome posts and videos, you are also sharing your experiences and knowledge of building an online business. The more you share quality info, the more people will read what you write and watch what you create. More people will then follow you and your work. The more hits and views you get, the more money you make and the more your business grows. People will probably ask you if you could give them personal help, or coaching, out of that you could create an online, electronic course and sell that through other avenues specializing in exactly that. The more people reach their own goals because of your help, the more your business grows, the more your customers grow. Other people could sell your products as well and they will earn a commision. This will grow their business and bring forth new opportunities for them. The online world is international. It envelopes the entire globe. It is not down and out when your country has unrest of whatever kind. It is always on and people are always connected no matter what the time on your watch is. That is online business in a small nutshell. Of course it does get more complicated and detailed as you pursue it seriously. We will get to that in a follow up post/article. Read the full article

[harrlowe-blog]

Beware these generational cycles!

So many times children reflect their parents. It is of course the natural way things go, the almost obvious route of development. Yet, in so many cases it shouldn't. In many instances measures should be taken to counter or prevent it. I always reference a simple tale about two young men. Lets say their both in their early thirties. One man is very successful. The other is a drunk, an alcoholic.

Both were asked why they believe their loves turned out the way they did. Both had the exact same answer: "My dad was a terrible alcoholic." In life we find two types of people (cliche as it may seem). There is always one side that goes with the flow or current and the other who makes a decision way from it. The second makes sense to me. The first is more interesting though. I have seen people complaining about some way they've been treated, just to use the same tactics the next moment an "opportunity" comes along. How can this be?

I have seen people en fairly constant pain, emotional pain, because of a way someone did something, but that is exactly how they do things further on.

Does this come from a kind of pride?

Do they even realize it? I know people who have been hurt so immensely by the decisions or rather the lack of decisions of someone close to them, but a little while later they display the exact same behavior. Or again, lack of approach. What makes sense is that it comes back to being aware or being unaware. I have come to believe that people alter in this way to cope with life. To cope with pain that nothing can be done about.

What is so sad is that the same whip that was used for a son or daughter has now been passed on. The one who felt the lashes are now the one who has taken it up. We have to beware these generational cycles.

Take a look around you and at yourself.

We should not merely follow in the footsteps that lead out in front of us. Read the full article

[harrlowe-blog]

Break away from fear, quickly

I've had many talks about fear and being brave with my kids, especially with my son. He is a very considerate child, but that can sometimes leave him in certain places when dealing with a army full of rambunctious boys.

"Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”: Franklin D. Roosevelt This statement I have seen realized first hand over and over again. Fear is just the same as quicksand. If you don't get out of if immediately, it becomes more difficult with every second or every move. I used a drawing of quicksand on the one side and a castle called: "Castle Brave." In Castle Brave everything is awesome! Like the Lego movie theme song. I actually wrote it on the wall of the castle.

I explained that the moment you feel any micro fraction of fear you should immediately change course. Speed is paramount here. I saw a video that explains how we should approach this stumbling block in life and I believe we should teach our kids from as young as possible. The brain takes 5 seconds to fall into a rut, into quicksand. See it as the 5 second window in which you can get a foot free enough to escape the clutches. In the first few moments you can consciously decide to move yourself away from the fear, or in many cases just out of the head space which can even be worse. For this to be possible we need to become aware of our own feelings, rumblings and signs. When we feel a certain something it has very specific characteristics, whether physical, emotional or mental. Get to know yours. Explore your own as well as your children so you can teach them this invaluable tactic or exercise. To give you an example, I had to sing in front of people. Luckily by the time I had to do conquer this new challenge I had learnt that if I know what my first sentence is going to be, by word 4 or 5 I am calm and talking smoothly without major jitters. Again it is that first few seconds. Find something that gets you out of that space and heading in a better directiLife is hard, but we have choices. Free will is the key. The first thing we need to do is decide to choose. Where you can decide, always, as far as possible choose to do the thing that should have the best and most favorable consequenceson.

If you have a song that empowers you(baby, you're a firework), a meaningful quote or even a physical move. Shake it off, literally. Effect usually follows action. Action comes from a decision. Make a speedy decision to turn away from fear. Cut the thorns. Break the cycle. Teach your kids. Break away from fear, quickly. Read the full article

[harrlowe-blog]

Free will is the key

So many times in life we find ourselves with questions and so often do we experience moments where peoples questions about our existence and purpose ooze out. I say ooze out because it is very rarely something premeditated. These questions can make or break. It can cause you to get stuck in one spot and some people never get past those stages. I have found that age ca sometimes mean something and in some cases it doesn't necessarily.

A key to unlocking or maybe rather, relieving those burning questions is simply "free will". Free will! Free will!   You decide!    You make the choice.

Sometimes it's not a straight forward as that and yes, often times we certainly don't have the choice about or over everything, but there are always parts we do have a choice over. With choices come responsibility. With choices come consequences. This is extremely important to understand. There are ALWAYS consequences. Always. No one is immune to consequences. I see this with my kids. I tell my youngest that if she's naughty and disobedient something bad will always happen and I am stunned with how unwavering this always turns out. Either I will have to correct her or discipline her in different ways, or she will get hurt and the majority of the times it is the latter. Luckily there are good consequences as well. It is a two way street. You decide. The sad thing I see so often is that people in all situations in life don't make a decision regarding this principle. They CHOOSE not to see the way these things always play out. Note that I used capital letters for the word "choose". It is because it is a choice not to choose.

Yep. It is a choice to not make a decision. This too has consequences and it is unfailing. Unfortunately when you choose not to choose people always seem totally blindsided. Because they are not picking one way or the other, they seem to think they have a free pass to consequences. There is no such thing. There is no such pass. I have seen this in the corporate world too many times too. People turn a blind eye for a new solution and keep going about their duties the same way, then when the results ooze out, they are all dumbstruck and have no idea. Do they really have no idea? Are they saving their buts? In some cases, certainly yes, in other cases no. I have found that there is a very real connection between choice and living a life of being aware. When you live with your eyes open and honest about yourselves, then you have a chance of seeing these things happening right infront of your eyes. If you don't want to choose to be aware, again a choice, you'll probably miss it. With sympathy I have also seen that people develop this life with permanent goggles because of pain, because of events, history or occurrences that are too hard to live with daily. Harsh realities have a way of bringing forth various coping mechanisms. Harsh realities often gets mended and bent in our subconscious so that we can "handle" it. Unfortunately again, this can set someone on an almost endless track in a worse direction. Life is hard, but we have choices. Free will is the key. The first thing we need to do is decide to choose. Where you can decide, always, as far as possible choose to do the thing that should have the best and most favorable consequences, for you and everyone else that might be involved or affected by your actions, words or decisions.

Read the full article

[harrlowe-blog]

Know this about depression

Know this about depression

Depression is one of the greatest epidemics of our time, of the time we are in right now. The reasons for it running so rampant could probably be discussed and debated for hours on end. What makes it so dangerous is the subtle way it creeps in from behind plain sight. It is not something that shakes you one morning. It's not something that makes you rush to the emergency room, because it made you feel in need of medical help. The problem is the slow onset of depression verses the difficulty of healing from it. One day, a year or so ago I saw an episode of the very popular "Grey's anatomy" and I was stunned with the sudden missing piece of insight I got. One of the strong, but cheerful women doctors went through a brain scan as a favor in calibrating a new machine. In the test, the happy doctor had to sit through an arrangement of different photographs. It had everything from good to bad, evil to holy and gross to cute. When a precious little kitten came on, the doctor who's brain was under the digital microscope sighed and made the appropriate face when looking at something adorable. Yet, the machine showed something totally different. The neurosurgeon shocked his subject with a simple: "Do you know you're depressed?" The brain imager distinctly showed her being depressed, because the "wrong" parts of her brain lit up. The parts that usually dazzle when a furry little animal appears in any way stayed dark and unaffected. The depression sections brightened up like Christmas lights. She was in total disbelief. She was one of the cheerful ones. She had a good and healthy sense of humor, a happy relationship and a job she was proud of. How could she be depressed? The answer is what made the penny drop for me. When I was younger I wrote the first piece of a book with the theme: "Happiness... Got it? Not? Then do something about it or stop complaining about it." Like I said, I was a lot younger and without much life experience. I dabbled in theory, but not in practice. The answer was the way her brain has adapted over time. The brain function changes. It is not merely a case of choice and follow through. It goes as far as a physical change in the way your brain works. John Assaraf, one of the inspirational men from "The Secret" and founder of "Brainathon" gave me another piece of the puzzle. The pathways in the brain can be compared to gravel roads. The more a dirt road is driven over and over again, the deeper they become. If you've been around these primitive roads, you should know how difficult it can be to drive next to them, over them, across them. In places like Botswana(Africa), these roads are so prominent that if you get your vehicle in the tracks, you can sit back and take your hands off the steering wheel (but don't, please). My point is to flatten out these paths and create new ones, are no easy task. Needless to say I have been eating my hat. Not that my happiness piece wasn't praised by those who read it, but there was always a "but." Of course, there are many forms of depression, with many different levels, characteristics and causes. I know not to play down anything now. When I was about 8 years old, my mother made a new friend. She was cheerful, jolly, had a head full of bouncy, curly hair, very bright, clear blue eyes and overall a ray of shining sunlight. Me having a passion for music was completely mesmerized when she came to our house one afternoon with her own microphone to sing us a few songs, just for the fun of it. I remember her bouncing around the her hair bobbing up and down through the small mining town where I grew up. She was so different. Unfortunately... When she had her first child, it came with terrible post natal depression. It was not something that came and went after a short period of motherhood. She had 2 more children... With every birth it became somewhat worse. They moved away from our little town before her first daughter was born. I saw her again for the first time when her third child was a baby of a few months. She was a shadow of the luminous woman she once was. She had the same voice, but her eyes seemed to be hiding somewhere behind something. She had a very high level of depression. The gap between people who struggle with depression and those that don't have much of an understanding of it often creates even more distance and worsens the effects on both sides. A typical spiral can follow. It is so important to know this about depression, to have insight, sympathy and to treat people better. Read another post: Give as much recognition as possible Please Donate if you feel like it so we can keep on writing... Read the full article

[harrlowe-blog]

Kalahari Child Synopsis - Feature Film

Kalahari Child Synopsis The heat of the tempestuous sun burns us all as one. It bears down, piercing through the desert sand where the Namib natives run. We're all touched by the same rays, every last one.

A hardened man drives his old, undying pickup truck at speed back to his homestead. He's late for something. On the thirsty gravel road he's met by the silhouette of a young indigenous boy. He  weeps profusely, but still carries his plastic bag of belongings with pride. This day fate has brought together a rugged man and a broken brown boy named Tiro. Lukas seems to be as stern, stoic and stubborn as a steriotypical white farmer of his time. He is clouded by guilt and sorrow, especially when he gets behind the steering wheel. The misunderstood man has been partly buried for years now, but this bountiful boy has come to unearth his heart of stone again in ways no one could know. With a sudden burst of talent a new path was about to be unbound. While they thought they were living, a glorious, shining gift was found. A loving teacher unraveled the song within him. Tiro came from slums and abuse, but theatres and music halls were about to be filled by his singing. A land of unknown treasure was waiting like a shipwreck beneath the surface, but they had to break racial boundaries set by forefathers first. One gained a father, one gained a son, both became the men they were always meant to be. Together they uncovered, unchained and set hasty horses free. Read the full article

[harrlowe-blog]

12 Principles of online business you should know

You might already have a successful online business or are thinking about it, wherever you find yourself in the process, there are certain principles you need to understand to get moving.

      Whether you are setting your sites on Youtube, Blogging, eCommerce, Instagram, email marketing, affiliate marketing, other service, paid ads, free ads, software like Clickfunnels the understanding or mental picture you have needs to be correct. If not, you will probably (like me) do research until you are way past blue in the face.

My aim today is to get you to the correct perspective that will lead to results, proven results.   1- Be giving One of the greatest things for me is the positive, giving nature of online business. The more you give, the more you will receive in return. For instance, you give something away for free and you’ll get a customer and lots of growth for your brand like Franklin Hatchet teaches so well.   2- Have patience Sure there are lots of experienced online marketers whose videos flood Youtube telling you how to make whatever amount of money per day with this and that, but getting yourself to a point where you see the big picture is paramount, which brings me to my next point.   3-See the big picture You are building a business, not doing some small task for a boss. You are building a business, one that you can have and sustain for the rest of your life.   4-The world is your audience In other businesses like a physical store at the corner shopping mall, you have a location and mostly cater to the people from the vicinity. With an online business your targets are set on the entire globe and the amount of internet users are still climbing, of course. I promise you that you will reach people that you never thought you would reach… be prepared. I am still surprised at the people I reach and I love it.   5-Consistency is key Cliche as it may be, it is still one of the most impact factors as in most ventures in life. As I get older I learn a lot. I always repeat the life lessons to myself and others around me after I have learnt them. One of the recent lessons is that “Nothing happens as quickly as you would want it to”. Okay, sure, maybe there are things that happen quickly, but the better things always take time.  It is better to believe that things take time so that you are never beaten down by waiting. I always hated to wait, but I’ve found that if I tell myself beforehand that this thing or that thing will need me being patient, it eliminates the frustration. Keep at it. It WILL pay off.   6-There are many different routes What I found great about online business is that there are so many different approaches being followed by different experts. The moment something seems to scripted and cookie-cutter-like, it feels like a scheme. If you look at stores in your mall, sure there are similar business models, but when you look behind the scenes, they do differ.   7-Follow what works, and then carve out your own patch I have a very creative and analytical side to me that always lead to strong opinions. This keeps my mind active and focused, but I had to learn to know when to shut up, back down and follow. There are enough people out there promoting products that have been tried and tested. Don’t be too stubborn. Make notes of what you would want to do and save them for a couple of months down the line. You might find that you don’t feel as strongly about them then, or otherwise blaze a new trail and other new recruits will follow you.   8-Embrace the Sensei – Grasshopper way All successful entrepreneurs tell you to find a mentor. The online world is built upon this natural ecology. Momma lion teaches baby lion. It works! If you have children, you’ll know that you wish they could just do what you ask(or tell) them to do, then they’ll have less bruises, broken bones, busted anything and they would get everywhere faster. Now we need to practice what we preach (what certainly preach). Later the baton will be passed on to you.   9-There is plenty for everyone The world is a big place. You are not competing with the shop opposite or adjacent to you online. We are not at a point where it is dog-eat-dog. Abundance! Tell yourself and believe that it is an abundant universe and that there is more than enough for everyone. Panicky and negative thoughts only stand in your way. The online world is an ever moving organism. It moves around and it is probably the biggest “snowball” in a sense. I don’t know what else has the compounding capabilities of the online world. The term “gone viral” has taken off, because of the unbelievably rapid pace (understatement bonanza) that one thing can be seen and spread around by millions of internet users.   10-You don’t need to be the best Because we are now looking to the billions of people online, the small fraction of the pie you need to be successful to an extent is almost incomprehensible. You could lead a good life by only having a micron of eyes on your business. What I love about the workings of an online business is the active nature of it. Nothing ever stays the same in one place. Luckily there are so many apps and tools that show us what is trending. You can choose to follow trends or to keep your focus on some of the evergreen niches like health, wealth and romance, yet within them there are ever moving limbs.   11-Follow your passion Do you have a passion or interest that no one else in the world has…? If you’ve spent some time in on Google you’ll know the answer is 99.99% no. Even if you are the 0.01%, you might just be sitting on the next best thing. Who knows? My point is that there are always people who share interests and people like to spend money on the things they like to do in their spare time.   12- It doesn't need to be perfect We are living in a time where statements like "You do you" and "Speak your truth" sets the stage for so many different things (I used the word things a lot in this post). Everything is moving towards being the human that you are. We are moving away from "everything needs to be perfect". Often times perfect lacks character and personality. Even if we look at the biology of the music we tend to like, the research shows that the songs that remind us of pleasant human interaction is always the most loved. We are made to be different and the internet embraces it. You have the freedom to mirror your very own thoughts just as they are in the safe nest of your mind. Don't let a quest for perfection halter your progress.   Get the picture? These 12 Principles of online business should help shape your perception of online business, yet it usually is a process. I will be continuing on this topic in the near future so drop me your email address to keep getting access to my posts. Everything is going digital and online. I want people to understand and see though their mobile or laptop screens.   For a list of specific options people are making money with online click here. Read the full article