helloazalia

[helloazalia]

12053

Whoa, can't believe I leveled up to this twins age!

Kadang gue juga masih kaget sama actual age gue ini. Selain banyak yang kira umur gue jauh di bawah ini, gue pun ngerasa kalau umur gue berenti tujuh belas tahun lalu. Yup, I feel like I'm stuck with 16 years old Azalia.

Nobody is ever prepared to say goodbye. Especially with the one we love deeply. But that's the way life is. Whether we like it or not, people come and go, so we better learn to live with it!

That moment make my age stoped at 16 years old. Waktu nyokap pergi, gue bener-bener ilang arah. Gak tau mau ngapain, padahal semua planning udah kesusun rapi saat itu. Yang biasanya setiap pulang sekolah ada yang nungguin, selalu nanyain gimana hari-hari di sekolah? Tetiba gak ada lagi rutinitas seperti itu. Gue yang masih gak terima, seketika berubah jadi "Azalia si pemberontak". Yang biasanya gak pernah pulang malem- mendadak jadi sering pulang malem. Yang gak pernah bolos- mendadak jadi sering bolos. Dan kenakalan bocah labil lainnya. Saat itu gue sadar, gue butuh perhatian. Tapi perhatian dari orang yang udah gak ada.

Kalau kilas balik ke belakang, kayaknya gue bakal narik napas panjang banget. It still amazes me that I've made it through those storms & still standing here now. Walau pun masih sering ngerasa insecure, not worthy, etc. Sekarang gue percaya kalau semua orang punya timeline-nya masing-masing.

And for the last 3 years, I felt alive!

"Start anew and don't be afraid Everything will be okay, so don't worry That moment in which you believe in yourself, that moment will be Beautiful"

[helloazalia]

Memulai hidup baru

Kayaknya, tema yang cocok untuk blog ini tuh "annual post" kali ya? Hahaha

Well, hello 2024 and what a year 2023!

Hal pertama yang lewat dipikiran gue pas pukul 00:00 adalah "Bisa juga gue ternyata lewatin sekian banyak obstacle itu ya?". Yup, buat yang kenal deket banget sama gue, pasti tau lah kalau gue tuh insecure + over thinking parah dan suka banget nge-embraced dua hal tersebut sampai (kadang) ngeganggu produktivitas.

Pertengahan tahun kemarin, gue sempet ngerasa deja vu ke moment 5 tahun lalu yang lumayan bikin gue drop karena terlalu nge-embraced dua hal tersebut. Thank God, gue gak terjebak lama-lama di situasi itu dan bisa bangkit lagi sampai ada di titik ini.

Well, 2023 surely a year with many bittersweet moments and lots of cry at night. I can't complain though, since those are the things that have kept me sane and alive to this day.

Untuk kalian semua yang selalu ada, TERIMA KASIH BANYAK! Can't thank you guys enough for being there with me.

[helloazalia]

2022 Wrapped!

23:35

Oke, sebelum tahun 2022 ini berganti kayaknya gue perlu banget untuk update blog biar gak jadi sarang laba-laba lagi.

Mau cerita, kalau tahun ini akhirnya gue dapet kesempatan untuk ngerasain pekerjaan yang selalu gue incer dari sekian lama. Dulu tuh selalu aja ngerasa "Dah lah, emang bukan jalan gue untuk ke sana kayaknya". Eh lucunya, ketika lo gak ngarep~ Tuhan dengan baik dan gampangnya, kasih lo jalan dan apa yang selama ini udah lama jadi inceran lo!

Di tahun 2022 ini tuh gue bener-bener grateful banget sama semua yang gue lalui dan capai. Dari mulai nonton NCT Dream di Allo Bank Festival, dapet tempat kerja dan temen-temen baru, nonton konser NCT 127, dan banyak banget moment lainnya.

Well, life is full of disappointment, failure, and lots of things. But I don't regret any single moment that comes into my life! Thanks to those people who always stay by my side, have a little faith in me and accept me the way I am.

THANK YOU 2022! 🫶🏻

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2023 !!

[helloazalia]

Allo Bank Festival With NCT Dream

Another late post,

Seharusnya gue posting ini tuh bulan lalu atau mungkin tepat setelah festival selesai. Sempat mikir untuk nulis atau gak ya? tapi karena gue udah lama mengabaikan blog ini- jadi ya, oke. Let me tell you a story!

Jadi, sejak pandemi gue tuh lagi tertarik dengan salah satu boygroup Kpop, yaitu NCT. Selama pandemi, hari-hari yang kayaknya berat karena gak bisa kumpul bareng temen, dan juga kerabat saat itu jadi gak begitu kerasa karena gue lalui dengan nikmatin musik dan berbagai macam konten yang disuguhkan oleh boygroup termuda asal SM Entertainment ini. Bisa dibilang, mereka yang membantu melewati hari-hari dan titik terendah gue saat itu (Kayaknya nanti gue bakal cerita tentang ini deh kapan-kapan). Nah, saking bucinnya gue sama mereka, gue sempat kepikiran "Kalau mereka konser kesini, bisa gak ya nonton mereka?" secara fans kpopers tuh kalau udah war ticket galak ya, bund.

Setelah dengar sekian banyak rumor tentang konser A,B,C,D akhirnya ada berita kalau NCT Dream akan konser di Jakarta. Bukan konser solo mereka sih, hanya tampil sebagai guest star untuk grand launching suatu acara- yang kebetulan berkerja sama dengan SM Entertainment. Setelah melewati drama war tiket selama 13 jam, gue pun pasrah karena gak berhasil mendapatkan tiket yang memang dijual sangat terbatas itu. Udah coba ikutan semua giveaway, cari jalur orang dalam, tapi tampaknya semesta emang belum kasih izin untuk nontonin adik-adik gemes ini.

Sampai pada akhirnya, pihak penyelenggara memberikan info mereka akan mengadakan "nobar" di area outdoor untuk NCTzen yang tidak dapat menonton di dalam main stage. Sebetulnya ini agak nyiksa diri ya, tapi saat itu karena udah lama banget gak pergi ke festival gini, akhirnya gue YOLO aja berdua sama teman menerjang hujan badai yang saat itu agak nyeremin hahaha.

Saat itu NCT Dream membawakan 4 buah lagu, Hot Sauce, Ridin', Hello Future dan juga Glitch Mode. Sumpah sih, walau pun cuma liat mereka dari layar kecil (gak langsung dengan mata telanjang), mereka keren-keren banget. Dance mereka benar-benar powerful, dan yang terpenting mereka terlihat happy ngeliat fans menuhin area konser setelah hampir 3 tahun. Belum lagi teriakan dan suara NCTzen pas sing along yang bikin merinding.

Meskipun cuma berhasil nonton di area outdoor, setidaknya rasa nonton konser/festival terobati- dan tau kalau sebetulnya badan ini udah gak sanggup diajak berdiri lama-lama, teriak, dan loncat-loncatan hahahaha. Well, semoga gue bisa nonton konser-konser mereka mendatang.

💚

[helloazalia]

It’s not over

Dear little Azalia,

Thank you for fighting this far, Thank you for never giving up, Maybe this life isn’t like what you’ve dreamed of when you were a little kid, Maybe it's too little too late for you to realize, but that's Okay Keep on believing that this is not the end of your story,

Let's start over, Your journey just starts now.

[helloazalia]

1+30

It's been a while since the last time I'm writing my last post. Well, now I'm back (I guess).

I'm officially turned 31 couple days ago. Nothing changes, except the age. I have a lot of plans, but it didn't went exactly like what I have planned. Well, as a human we can make a lot of plans, but still—God's plan always absolute.

There's lot of things happened on this pandemic. Something that I'm proud of to, something that I regret, something that I've lose, something that I've got.

Now, all I wanted was to live a life where I could be me. Be more open to people surround me, and be okay with what I have.

🥂

—Azalia—

[helloazalia]

My Support System

What or who is your support system when you're sad, depressed, or breakdown? Maybe some of you will say, Family. Because whatever it is, family comes first, right? But not for me, I guess.

No, it doesn't mean that I never put my family as my priority. They will always be my number 1 priority. It just that I'm not very close with my family (dad, brothers or sister) to talk about my private life. Well, I'm not kind of a person who can talk about personal life to everyone. This included my family and some of my friends. It took times for me to open up or talk about my personal life. Since my mother passed away, I’ve never open up about myself to anyone. So whenever people asked me, "Are you Ok?" I will always answer "Yea, I'm fine *with a fake smile*" because I don't know how to be open to them. Because I'm not comfort to talk about it except with my mother.

But it’s all start from here :)

It’s all changed when I’d met this girl. Raisa! No, she's not the famous singer Raisa. But this Raisa I've known sure have beautiful voices too. I meet this girl through my junior school's friend that went to the same school before. We were getting closer when we’re in Senior School. I will stayed over almost every weekends. Even when she and her family goes to church every Sunday morning, I will just stay at her home . Sleeping. Or sometimes I even joint her family occasion.

She is the very first person that I’ve told about my personal problems, and after that we’re never separated. We have a very different personality yet we're made that way. She know the worst and the best of me, a person who's more like family than a friend. Really know when to not response to my annoying message. I'm sorry I always blaming you for almost everything, for being so stubborn and thickheaded. I know I barely talk about my personal love life with you, maybe it’s time for us to catch up? Life has been crazy for me since last year, and there’s ton of stories that I needed to tell you.

This one is Dian or I short called her, Dee. I’ve known this girl through Raisa since they both went to the same High School. And the very first time we met was when we were fangirling of Avenged Sevenfold, Lol. Yup, whenever there’s a concert in town we are so busy to make our perfect plans to meet the band/artist. She’s one of the person that motivated & inspired me in anythings. Start from her workaholic things, her passion ,her spirit. This girl might’ve been trap in a small body, but she’s really got big spirit in her soul. We were so random, impulsive (sometimes) and Dian is so clumsy. So yeah, there’s always funny/stupid moments happen, and those things can be only understood by us, hahaha.

My Impulsive Random Partners

Again, we were never went to the same school or office before. I’ve know Icha and Myra through twitter. Firstly, me and Icha were planning to watch a concert together since I didn’t have friend to go out. And after that, she introduced me to her friend; Myra. And then on 2017, I’ve met Rani through Icha. Suprised suprised, we went to the same concert but we didn’t know each other back then.

Why I called them impulsive and random? Because, whenever we’re making plan to going out, it will never happen. But when one of us start asking “Let’s meet up at our usual meeting point” and then, BOOM!!! There we are. And yea, of course we’re making impulsive decision in the end, Lol.

Well, those are my support system. They are my mood boaster. Know the worst and best in me. Really know how to handle me when I’m depressed, when I feel annoyed, and even on my breakdown. There’s a lot of memories that happen around us, maybe I’ll tell in another story. 

—Azalia—

[helloazalia]

Cerita Cahaya

Get lost into the light 💡

Last Monday I went to the Cahaya Exhibition in collaboration with Axioo Photograph, Infico Indonesia, and Royal Design Decor. This event is free entrance and held until September 25, 2019  at Senayan City, Level 1, Central Jakarta.

This art space consists of several parts, where light is their main focus. Yes, according to their theme "Cerita Cahaya 1".

When we enter the area, we will  be welcomed with a room full of colorful lights that are very beautiful and attractive if we want to take photos or just a selfie. 

Next, we will find a room with a large mirror and another beautiful artwork. 

Next, there is also a wall full of colorful post it with small and beautiful lamps. I guess this one is my favorite spot.

And, for those of you who really like music, you have to take photos inside this corner. Why? Because there are two guitars, microphones, sound systems and drums, which of course you can pretended being a rock star. 

And of course there are still a lot of corners with beautiful artwork for you guys to take photo or selfie ;)

So, what are you waiting for? Come visit before it close. Because it would be a great get away from this noise city for you

[helloazalia]

Galantis at Djakarta Warehouse Project 2017

[helloazalia]

It's not over until you win

Life is full of disappointments, failure and setbacks. None of those things can permanently stop you. You have the power in you to overcome anything that life thrust at you. There is nothing as powerful as a made up mind. Surround yourself with people who remind you that you matter, and support you in the ways that matter most to you. No person, situation or circumstance can define who you are. Don't give up, cave in, or stop believing that it's possible. It's not over until you win!

Source: Thought Catalog

[helloazalia]

You see, stars are the only thing that will make you feel lost. Yet comforted. All everything, at the same time

[helloazalia]

Let yourself be happy, because you deserve it

So you want to be happy? Then stop letting the smallest things ruin your whole entire day. If you’re bored with your daily routine, do something unexpected. Stop complaining about how alone you are when you’re surrounded by people who actually care about you. Forget all the drama and let go of all the grudges you’ve been holding. Stop wasting time, lingering over all that you could have, should have and would have done. Stop spending your days thinking of how much better you could do. Stop longing for something that has been and always will be out of your reach. Just live the days as they come. Wake up every morning and smile at the wonderful day that awaits you. Take a risk for once. Let yourself be happy, because you deserve it.

Source: Random picture on instagram

[helloazalia]

Follow no path, make your own. - Jared Leto

[helloazalia]

The Great Escape

Last year I went to Untung Jawa Island with my family to held my cousin’s wedding. Untung Jawa Island is part of Kepulauan Seribu (Thousand Islands) and it’s located not far from Jakarta. But if you guys want to visit Untung Jawa Islands, it way closer from Tangerang/ Tanjung Pasir. But  you can access from Muara Angke, too.

We didn’t stay long enough at the island because we need to go back to our reality. I went to the island on Saturday morning, and then we’re arrived around lunch time then straight to held the wedding.After the wedding ceremony, we’re all playing at the beach and take some pictures (it’s a must thing when you’re in an island or beach). I try to catch sunset, but the result not really good because it’s kinda rain.

Next day, I woke up early because I really want to catch the sunrise on the beach. But again, the result not really good. We can’t blame the weather, right? Before we off to the city, we’re all swimming and enjoyed playing banana boat.

One thing I love the most when I went to the beach is, I feel so relaxed.  

A short getaway with family was always be the best and great moment to remember. 

Take me back, please! 

Meet me where the sky touches the sea. Wait for me where the world begins.

[helloazalia]

Saturday Night with Tanner Patrick at Youtube FanFest 2016

I should have to post this on last October, but I don’t know why I kept this on my draft. 

Finally Tanner Patrick is back to J-Town (again), and of course I’m so happy! Yup, last month I went to Youtube Fan Festival where Tanner Patrick will be perform with any other youtubers. And oh, I’m not only has a chance to watch his performance that night. But I’ve also had got a chance to Meet and Greet with him, again. Still, I can’t control myself when I meet him, because it’s still like a dream for me. 

Tanner Patrick is still the same Tanner Patrick that I’ve met 2 years ago. Still nice, welcome, and always humble to his fans. 

Btw, we were queuing for the meet & greet at 4pm and waiting for like an hour and half. Finally, after we’re all tired from waiting, it’s time for the Meet and Greet, yeaaayyy!!! FYI, Tanner was accompany by his girlfirend, Kelsey. Gosh, she’s so beautiful and really nice. 

Oh, I have good news. So, while I’m waiting my chance to take picture with him, he told me that he’s working on a new project with AJ and Garrett!!! (I do till hoping Disco Curtis will make reunion show or stuff).

Done with the meet & greet, we were going down to the mall for dinner first. And now it’s finally time for Tanner to serenade us with his angelic. So Tanner is performing with 2 songs from his debut album “Satellites” and “Merry Go ‘round”. Oh I wish he’s serenade us with all of his songs from new album.

After the show, we decided to not going back home yet. Since my friend really want to meet him, yup as always- we’re all at the hotel lobby. And, yea, she finally meet him.

Oh, there’s one impresive moment when my friend want to take a picture with Tanner. So, his bodyguard won’t let my friend to take picture with Tanner even though he (Tanner) already hug my friend to take a picture. And then, yeah he’s stand up for my friend. I’m so surprise! I don’t know how to express my gratitude for the smallest thing he have done. I’ve met a lot of artist/musician and for me, Tanner is really sincere, caring, and love his fans so much. I’m following his progress since he’s in Disco Curtis and met him twice has made me think of how humble he’s really are, as a person and a public figure. So thank you Tanner! Keep making great music and stay humble, may God bless you, your life and career. Hope our path crossed again! 

We’re probably too old for this shit but we had a lot of fun being fangirls anyway!  #girlsjustwanttohavefun 

And, yes I finally got a kiss from Tanner Patrick <3

[helloazalia]

Just Friends (?)

Being “just friends” with you means pushing down the parts of me that want to rush to your side. Every time you’re feeling lonely, to fix your problems before they have the chance to crop up.

Because friendship means commiting to the boundaries, that I’m not sure I can trust myself to adhere to.

It means stepping away each time I want to step closer.

[helloazalia]

Make yourself a priority once in a while. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary.

Karen A. Baquiran (via onlinecounsellingcollege)